Tunes Of Betrayal: Temptations Playlist
by hollymarie4
Summary: Spencer and Lexy have been friends as long as Spencer can remember. But when Spencer comes home to visit from Tisch School of the Arts for the summer, Lexy introduces her to her girlfriend of seven months...Ashley Davies.
1. Schools Out

So it's been less than a day and here I am already posting another story. What can I say? I love writing. And when you have a muse as amazing as mine...sigh...there's no limit to what your brain can produce. Anyways, hope you guys like it. Let me know your thoughts, likes and dislikes... Enjoy.

Disclaimer- I rarely ever do these because obviously I don't own south or any of it's characters. Nor do I own the songs used. But I do own the original characters and the idea.

* * *

**School's Out**

The sound of my alarm clock pulls me from my sleep, signaling the start of my day. I roll over, slapping the clock to shut it off. I groan as I roll out of bed and trudge my way to the bathroom to get ready for my last day of classes. I can't believe my freshman year at Tisch is coming to an end.

As I'm rinsing the face wash off my phone rings from the other room. '_Hey, I just met you and this is craaazy but here's my number so call me maybe.' _I grab a towel off the rack and run to answer it.

"Good morning lover." I roll my eyes as my best friend speaks cheerfully on the other end.

"Why are you awake?" I groan and flop back on my bed. I was half way done and now I'm not sure if I'm going to get back out of bed.

"I had some stuff to do." Is her reply.

"At four in the morning?" I question.

"Yeah." She says quickly. "So how happy are you to be coming back to California tomorrow?" She asks and I can hear the smile in her voice.

"Uh..."

"Come on, Spence!" She half shouts. How can she possibly be so up right now when it's only four in the morning there? "On a scale of one to ten?"

"A four." I reply non-nonchalantly, sighing as I glance over at the clock. If I don't get dressed now, I'm gonna be late.

"A four!" She yells. "A frickin' four! Are you kidding me?"

"Lex, I need to get ready for class." I groan, rolling off my bed onto the floor with a loud mmph.

"Did you just fall?" She asks, chuckling a bit.

"I'm leaving now." I drawl out.

"No no, don't leave me." She whines.

"Going, going, gone." I say then hang up before she could reply. As I go to toss my phone on the bed it rings, I look at the caller ID and see Carmen's name. "Great." I sigh out. "Just what I need." I hit the ignore button, toss my phone on the bed and crawl to the bathroom to finish getting ready.

–

"Final day of class, are you excited chica?" Madison asks, as we walk to class together. She met me at my dorm after I finished getting ready. I swear on three or four occasions I just thought about skipping, but quickly decided against it; not wanting to hurt my perfect 4.0 GPA.

"Definitely." I reply as I clutch my _Art and War, Theater Matters _and _Visual Thinking _textbooks closer to my chest. "How many more finals do you have today?"

She rolls her eyes and shrugs, "Too many." Is her reply.

"No one told you to double major, Madison." I retort as I stop to readjust my load. "Tisch is hard enough without putting that extra pressure on yourself."

"Thank you, mother Carlin." She replies in a sarcastic tone.

"I'm just saying."

"Ladies, ladies." Where are we headed in such a hurry?" Aiden asks as he walks up behind us.

"Class, duh." Madison replies with a smirk as Aiden rolls his eyes at his girlfriend. He slips an arm around her as he bends down and kisses her.

"Enough with the lovey dovey stuff." I make a fake gag sound and speed up my pace.

"Don't be mad at us that you broke up with your girlfriend." Madison tells me as they catch up to me.

"Well she was kind of a bitch." Aiden chimes in. "I'm glad you cut her loose. She wasn't worth your time anyways." He adds with a shrug.

"Thank you Aiden. At least I know I have one loyal friend." I say, cutting my eyes to Madison.

"Oh please, bitch!" She waves me off and rolls her eyes. "You know I woulda cut that hoe if you said go." She adds, causing both Aiden and I to laugh. Madison plays tough, but trust me, on the inside she's as cuddly as a puppy. But I still wouldn't get in ring with

"Is that right?" I ask my friend in a sarcastic tone as my phone rings in my pocket. I try to readjust my books to grab it with my left hand.

"Here, let me get those." Aiden tells me as he takes the books out of my arms.

"Thank you." I tell him, letting out a sigh of relief. Those books were heavy. I grab my phone from my pocket. "Hey Lex." I answer and from the corner of my eye I see Madison roll her eyes.

"Hey sexy! I really don't appreciate you hanging up on me this morning! So not cool." She replies. "But moving past that, are you more excited now, what time does your plane land?" She asks and I can hear the excitement in her voice.

"Yeah sure, super excited for the fifth time Lexy. And my plane lands at seven." I say as we stop walking. I turn back to face Madison and Aiden just as Madison rolls her eyes and whispers something to Aiden.

"Did you need me to come pick you up still or..." She trails off, letting her question hang in the air.

"Well duh, you better be there. You're the one that wants me to go meet your girlfriend before I even get a chance to see my family." I reply with a smile. Madison makes a gag face. I shake my head and smile at my friend as I slap her on the shoulder. She mouths an 'ow.'

"Well you get a break, I dropped her off at the airport this morning, she went out of town for a gig and won't be back until tomorrow morning, but Sunday is good."

"A gig?" I question.

"Yeah, she's in a band remember?" Yeah no... I didn't remember that.

"Oh yeah." I nod as if she can see me.

"She can't see you asshole." Madison quips.

"You forgot?" Lexy asks as I flip Madison the bird.

"I mean she isn't my girlfriend Lex. Where's her gig?"

"But that's the best part about her." Lexy replies quickly. "Well that and her amazingly awesome body." She adds. "I don't know where it is. Jersey or something, I think."

"Oh so her brains aren't important then?" I ask with a smirk. Madison motions for me to speed up my conversation. I wave her off and this time she flips me the bird.

"You know what I mean!" She laughs and adds, "But her body is just... oh my God."

"Yeah, I bet." I roll my eyes at my best friend. She's always been like this; body first...brains and personality second. My criteria on the other hand is a bit more sophisticated. "I gotta go Lex, I'll call you after my last class."

"Boo you and your education." She replies playfully. "Love you, Spence." She adds.

"Love you too." I tell her before slipping my phone back in my pocket and relieving Aiden of his guy friend duties.

"Well we don't have to ask who that was." Madison says rolling her eyes.

"Aw, you jealous Maddy?" I question her, poking out my bottom lip and placing a comforting hand on her shoulder.

"Fuck you." She slaps my hand away. "It just sucks that my best friend is leaving New York this summer to go back to some lame ass California to hang out with her high school best friend aka the best friend stealer."

Aiden gasps and clamps a hand over his mouth before dramatically saying, "Oh my God, Spencer you're cheating on my girlfriend with your ex best friend?" I couldn't help but laugh. I swear when I first met Aiden, I thought he was gay. I mean come on... A six foot three, tanned, green-eyed jock that's into art is straight?... one in a thousand.

"Well I feel cheap and dirty." Madison pouts.

"Come on Mads, you knew I was going home this summer. I didn't go home Thanksgiving, Christmas or Spring break. My family misses me and as much as I hate to admit it, I kinda miss them too. What freshman have you ever known to not go home at least once during their first year of college?" I ask with a raised brow.

"The kind that has amazing friends like us where she doesn't need to ever leave New York to go back to California." Madison offers.

"True." I nod and smile. "But, I gotta see my folks. My mom wouldn't get off the phone with me one day last month until I purchased my plane ticket and she checked my itinerary. It's getting ridiculous." I laugh and say. "Plus, it's easier for you and Aiden cause you're both from New York so you can see your family at anytime."

"Why don't they just come here then?" Madison asks, perking up.

"You know my parent's both have demanding jobs." I narrow my eyes at my friend.

"Fine."

"I promise I won't forget about you." I offer.

"Hey!" Aiden speaks up.

"You either Aide." I add and he smiles. "You two are my absolute best New York friends and I'm sure I wouldn't have made it through this year without you, so thank you."

"You caught that didn't you baby?" Madison turns to Aiden and asks.

"I believe I did." Aiden replies, matching Madison's tone.

"Caught what?" I question, confused.

"You totally just called us your New York best friends and not your best friends in general, I'm offended." She shrugs and shakes her head.

"As am I." Aiden adds, feigning insult.

"You two are crazy you know." I tell them, chuckling a bit.

"You love us." Aiden pushes me lightly and smiles.

"That I do." I reply. "I should get to class. Mr. Martin will not tolerate tardiness, even on the last day of school. You took him last year Aide right?"

"Yeah, the final's easy. It's oral and he's just gonna ask you two questions. Last year we had to just tell him two things we learned from the class."

"Okay, thanks." I say as I turn to walk into my building.

"When you're done come over to me and Aides." Madison yells to me.

"What why?" I ask, stopping on the stairs and turning around.

"Cause we're going to a party tonight, I mean it is your last day here in New York for a whole summer Spencer. You didn't think we'd let you go without showing you what you're gonna be missing all summer did you?" She questions with a smirk and I just shake my head and smile at the pair.

"Fine." I nod. "See you guys later." We say our goodbyes and they head off to class. I turn and head into my building, speed walking so I wouldn't be late for class.

"Spencer." A familiar voice calls to me. I roll my eyes as I skid to a stop, not wanting to deal with her right now.

"What Carmen?" I ask as I turn around to face her.

"You've been ignoring my calls." She says in a soft voice, stepping closer to me. I can see the pain in her eyes. She's been crying. I can tell because her usually light green eyes are slightly darker and there's no visible whiteness...only red. It almost makes me feel bad for breaking up with her...almost.

"I'm gonna be late for class." I tell her in a monotone voice. I refuse to show any emotions around her, she doesn't deserve for me to feel anything when it comes to her. She doesn't even deserve my anger.

"You can't just keep ignoring me, Spencer. I get it, I fucked up and I know that I hurt you but I'm sorry. I'm so sorry and I would do anything to make it up to you. You're this amazing person and I feel like shit for what I did, I do. I swear it will never happen again." She says and moves even closer. Her lips a mere inch away from mine. The lips that I once kissed. The lips that whispered I love you over and over. The same lips that were on another girl."I love you Spencer. Don't let these nine months have been for nothing. We can fix this. I can fix this." She nods and moves in for the kill. I contemplate for a second, deciding if this was all bullshit or if I should take her back. Apart of me wants to take her back simply because she's so damn good looking. Five foot six, green-eyes, a smoking body. It also helps that she speaks four languages, is super smart, has a great relationship with her family and the fact that she's Latina is just the icing on the cake for me.

But I refuse to be the fool.

To be the idiot that takes someone back that cheated on me and then practically rubbed it in my face by showing up to a party with the girl two days after we'd broken up.

No!

I won't be that girl.

Just as our lips are about to touch I put a hand on her chest, stopping her. "I'm gonna be late for class. I'd appreciate if you just forgot I ever existed." I tell her before turning on my heels and walking away. I don't dare look over my shoulder, I'm not sure if I have the resolve to keep walking if I do. She almost had me there...almost. I pull my cell out of my pocket as I reach my class.

_'Definitely in need of a great party.'_ I text to Madison. _'Just had a run in with Carmen.'_ I add quickly, knowing she would get it.

_'Totally! And if you need a make out sess, I'd totally go gay for you Spence and I'm sure Aide wouldn't __mind.'_ Is Madison's reply. I smile and put my phone back in my pocket, shaking my head at my friend.

I really am gonna miss New York for these next three months.

Chapter title-Alice Cooper- School's Out


	2. As The Rush Comes

Really appreciate all the love I got for the previous chapter. I look forward to reading your reviews as this story progresses. To answer a few of the reviews.

Ohsoclever1: Right night it looks like I'll be posting twice a week maybe Monday's and Fridays. This week you guys will probably get three just cause I'm so excited about this one. I think it's the best one yet. But that's just me lol.

SONNOC: I hope my muse doesn't stop doing her job either.

YouOutaKNow: Aw woot I'm happy you like it so far. I hope it stays that way lol. There will definitely be some drama!

music is my heroine : I'm so glad I've pulled you in already. I hope you enjoy the rest.

msblaze: Sigh. I got no words for you lol. You already know!

FadeToLife: Aw that made smile super hard.

Tam24: I think it's so awesome you read all my stories. You're the best.

Guest: Awesome that you're enjoying my version of Madison and Aiden. :)

* * *

**As The Rush Comes**

"You know, I'm not so much in the mood anymore Mads." I tell my friend as we get ready for the party.

"What?" She turns to me and questions. "Five hours ago you were all like 'oh my God, Madison... I really need a good party to go to tonight.'" She says, calling herself mimicking my voice but she really sounds like she has braces and a cold.

"First of all, I sound nothing like that. And secondly, five hours ago I had a run in with Carmen and my head was all screwed up. I'm feeling better now, thanks."

"Nope." She shakes her head as she struts over to me, half-naked might I add. "We're not doing this Spencer. You're going to this party tonight, even if I have to drag you out of here kicking and screaming." She tells me, getting right in my face.

"But I don't-"

"I don't wanna hear it." She shakes me.

"Oh my God, shaken baby syndrome much?"

She chuckles as she stops shaking me. "There's gonna be so many hot chicks to sleep with at this party tonight though Spence, how dare you pass up an opportunity like this."

"You know I'm not that kinda girl, Mads." I roll my eyes at my friend for even suggesting such a ludicrous thing.

"Well you know what they say," She shrugs as she pulls her shirt down over her head. "The best way to get over one person is to get under-"

"You better not even think about finishing that." I say, glaring at her.

"Just saying." She shrugs as she makes her way over to her closet. "You need to get over Carmen, I don't see what you ever saw in that two timing manipulative bi-"

"I think I got it." I cut her off, raising my hand and rolling eyes. "Carmen wasn't like that in the beginning. She used to be so sweet and caring and loving. It's like once she had me, she flipped a switch or something and completely changed her whole personality. I don't know how I didn't see it from the beginning. How I didn't see past the façade."

"Don't put that on yourself Spence. There was no way you could have known that she was a complete psychopath." She says as she grabs a pair of black skinny jeans from her closet and slips them on. "She even had me fooled." She adds.

"I just feel stupid I guess." I shrug. Standing and slipping my legs into my jeans. I put on my red and black retro Jordans as Madison puts on her gray and black Supra's.

"Well tonight," She starts, walking over to me, pulling me up from the bed and spinning me around. "we're gonna party and forget all about that skank Carmen." She spins me around again, getting a good look at my body. "Damn Spencer!" She shouts. "You looking good mami. You're gonna have all the girls chasing after you tonight."

"Nah." I shake my head as a blush spreads across my cheeks.

"Please, you looking so good I'd go gay for you right now." She says and I knit my eyebrows together.

"You know sometimes I wonder about-"

"Don't even think about it." She cuts me off, shaking her head. "I love my man and his man parts sweetie." She adds. I make a gag face and she slaps my arm. "Carmen is gonna be so jealous when she sees you tonight."

"Wait what?" I stop dancing and quickly face her. "Carmen is gonna be there?"

"I don't know." She shrugs. "Probably. I mean it is the last party of the year and Kaci's throwing it. Everyone knows her parties are epic." Madison says and turns around to grab her iPod.

"Seriously Madison, I can't go to this party." I shake my head hysterically as I sit back down on the bed. Staying away from her and being okay with our break up is one thing, but seeing her... dancing and laughing and flirting with other girls, I just can't do it.

"Spencer we've discussed this. You're not gonna miss out on this party because your lame ass ex may or may not be there. And that's the end of this discussion."

"Madison I'm not going." I shake my head. "You can't make me."

–

"See! What'd I tell ya? Best party ever right?" Madison yells over the music as her and Aiden dance next to me.

If you haven't already guessed I came to the stupid party. Well technically Aiden carried me to the party but whatever. I'm here and I can't wait to leave. In case you're wondering, Carmen is here and she's tried to talk to me at least five times already.

This is exactly what I was trying to avoid. Carmen has this way about herself, she can pull you in and once she has you in her grasps... it's so hard to break away.

"Spencer stop thinking about your ex-girlfriend and dance with us." Aiden says, trying to pull me closer to him and Madison. Yeah, no thanks.

"I'm gonna get a drink." I pull away and head towards the bar. "A Shirly Temple please." I tell the bartender who gives me a weird look before heading off to make my drink.

What? Alcohol and I don't get along.

And Shirly happens to be my favorite girl at the moment.

"Hey." Carmen comes up behind me and whispers in my ear. You have got to be fucking kidding me.

"Carmen I really don't-"

"I didn't come over here to ask you to take me back again, Spencer." She shakes her head as she scoots in next to me. I turn to face her. Wrong move...her eyes are pulling me in right now.

"Then what do you want?" I ask in cold voice. I'm trying to spare my dignity here people!

"I just wanna dance with you. I won't see you for three whole months and probably even after that, I just wanna have one last dance with you." She leans closer to my ear. "Remember how good we dance together?" She whispers, sending shivers up my spine.

Fuck my life right now.

"Fine." I tell her after contemplating it for a moment.

"Here you go." The bartender says, getting my attention. I turn around and take my drink from him, taking a sip slowly from the straw.

"You and alcohol still not speaking?" Carmen asks with a smirk.

I shrug. "We're on a break."

"Well you guys did have that falling out a few months back." She says and we both chuckle. See, this is what I'm talking about right here. It's so easy to fall back into everything with her. Like nothing ever happened. "Come on." She says, pulling me onto the dance floor as the band starts another song. When the beat comes in Carmen pulls me closer to her, grinding her hips into me. I fall into the music easily, letting Carmen have me in ways she hasn't in weeks. As the lead singer starts singing it only spurs Carmen on more. The raspy tone of her voice sending chills up and down my spine.

"_As the rush comes, As the rush comes, As the rush comes, As the rush comes."_ She starts, swinging her brunette hair slowly from side to side. She closes her eyes as she starts the first verse and the drummer picks up the beat. _"Traveling somewhere, could be anywhere__. There's a coldness in the air but I don't care__. We drift deeper life goes on__. We drift deeper into the sound__, As the rush comes." _As Carmen pulls me in impossibly closer I find myself not being able to take my eyes off the lead singer, something about the way the words fall off her lips and the way her body sways with the beat. It intrigues me. _"Embrace me, Surround me. As the rush comes. Embrace me, Surround me. As the rush comes, As the rush comes, As the rush comes, As the rush comes. __Traveling somewhere, could be anywhere__. There's a coldness in the air but I don't care. We drift deeper into the sound life goes on__. We drift deeper into the sound feeling strong__. As the rush comes. __Embrace me, Surround me__. As the rush comes__. Embrace me, Surround me__. As the rush comes."_

"Spencer, I can't go a whole summer without seeing you." Carmen whispers in my ear, pulling my attention from the girl on stage.

"Don't do this." I plead with Carmen. We're dancing and I'm fine with that, but she wants to take this somewhere that it doesn't need to go.

"You need to know this, Spence. I love you."

"_We drift deeper__. We drift deeper__. We drift deeper into the sound life goes on__. We drift deeper into the __sound feeling strong__. So bring it on__. So bring it on__. So bring it on__. So bring it on."_

"You cheated on me, remember. You did this to us." I reply as our bodies still sway with the beat. I feel like we should stop dancing, that the moment has passed and I should just walk away, but I can't move. The girl on the stage is keeping me planted in this spot. The lyrics of her song and the way they escape her lips is keeping me here.

"_Embrace me, surround me__. As the rush comes__. Embrace me, surround me__. As the rush comes."_

"I know." Carmen whispers and I feel like shit for what I did. I don't expect you to forgive me right away Spencer. I know that this is gonna take some time, but I just need to know that you're willing to try. You're willing to give us another shot." I can hear the desperation in her voice.

"_Embrace me, surround me__. As the rush comes__. Embrace me, surround me__. As the rush comes."_

"You don't deserve my forgiveness." I reply softly.

"You're right, I don't. But I hope that you can find it in your heart to forgive me."

"_Embrace me, surround me__. As the rush comes__. As the rush comes__. As the rush comes__. As the rush comes__. As the rush comes."_

"I don't know if I can." I answer her honestly.

"Just think about it, Spencer. Take the summer to really think about it. About us...about all the good times we had. How good we are together. I'll be here waiting for you." She says, barely above a whisper as she places a chaste kiss on my lips and walks away as the band finishes the song.

"_As the rush comes." _The lead singer sings the last words and just like that whatever trans I was in, was gone. I could see clearly now. I watched as Carmen disappeared into the crowd.

"What the fuck was that?" Madison asks once her and Aiden reached me. I turn to her and shrug, because honestly, I don't even know myself. "You danced and I mean you really danced with that skank Spencer." Madison adds as I hear the lead singer tell everyone they would be taking a short break.

"I don't know what happened Mads, honestly. I was drinking my drink and then we were dancing and I... I don't know what came over me." I tell her honestly.

"Fuck Spence!" Madison exclaims, shaking her head. "You can't just be going around dancing with your crazy ass ex."

"I know." I nod. "I'm gonna get some water." I tell the pair.

"Okay, then we're getting the hell out of here before skank face decides to make another appearance." I nod and make my way over to the bar.

"Water, please." I tell the bartender. He gives me another weird look but gets me a water anyways.

"Not many people order water at a college party." A girl says as she comes up next to me, sitting her drink on the bar.

"You're drinking water." I tell her as I look down at the clear substance in her glass.

"I'm not allowed to drink on the job, otherwise I'd be-"

"Oh my God." I say when I finally look up. "You're the lead singer of that band..." I trail off, realizing I probably look like a total groupie. Here I am getting excited about a band that I'd never even heard until a few minutes ago.

"Serenity." She nods and smiles. "I'm Ashley." She adds after a moment, holding out her hand for me to shake.

"Spencer." I reply, taking her hand.

"Can I make a confession?" She asks, taking a sip of her water. I nod, doing the same. "I saw you..." She pauses, choosing her words carefully. "On the dance floor I mean, with that girl. You move so..." She trails off, smiling a bit. "You get really into the music." She settles on.

"That song," I start, replaying the lyrics in my head. "It was unbelievable." I admit, taking another sip of my water to hide the blush I'm sure appeared on my cheeks.

"Thank you." She smiles widely. "It's new actually. I wrote it on the plane ride here from California." She says like it's no big deal.

"Well it was amazing." I tell her again.

"Thank you." She smiles and I have to bite my lips to keep from smiling. "Well, I have to get back to work, this is a paying gig after all. My band and I don't get many of these so we try to make the ones we do get count. Build up an audience you know."

"Well you definitely have a new fan in me." I say realizing how groupie-ish that must have sounded. She chuckles and nods.

"Good to know, Spencer." The way she said my name sent shivers through my body.

"Bye Ashley." I wave as she turns to leave.

"You're staying for the next set though right?" She half shouts back to me as she walks towards the stage. I nod and she smiles. "Good." She yells as she climbs on the stage.

"You ready to get out of here?" Madison appears next to me.

"I think we should stay for a few more songs." Is my reply as the band starts playing again. Ashley's eyes catch mine and a smile creeps its way onto her lips as she starts to sing the next song.

"Oooooh, what was that?" Aiden asks, nudging me a little.

"Nothing." I chuckle and shake my head.

"Right, like we didn't just catch that look she gave you." Madison chimes in.

"It was nothing." I assure my friends.

Absolutely nothing...

–

Song Used- Motorcycle- As The Rush Comes

* * *

What are your thoughts about this one everyone?


	3. California Love

Still amazed at the support so far for this story, it makes me giddy. You guys are so freaking awesome. I love reading your reviews so keep them coming. :)

YouOutaKnow: Lol Spencer wants to believe it's nothing haha. I'm glad I keep you interested. :)

bookworm848: yay you loved it. Yeah, it hurts my feelings that there aren't many good stories on this site anymore. You think if they were to do a SoN movie, the inspiration for writing would come back?

Ohsoclever1: Yup, I mean I could be wrong though lol. I just have absolutely enjoyed writing this one the most for several reasons. Madison's humor is much like a good friend of mine haha. Carmen is definitely one of those types of girls. The connection is amazing, it always is. Hope I don't disappoint you. :)

Tam24: Yeah, you're the best lol. I agree that scene was hot hehe. Madison definitely won't disappear.

msblaze: I tell my mom when she shakes me, although I'm 24 she'll give me shaken baby syndrome lol. She things it's hilarious.

Sushi1976: Yay, you reviewed my story. That puts a huge smile on my face. Which of my stories is your fav?

Ambeezy: Just imagine how much more awkward it's gonna be later on lol.

SONNOC: That was so long lol. You make me smile with that. I'm not that great of a writer, please stop lol. I love Spencer in this one. She's funny and so is Madison. This story is gonna be epic lol. My own personal opinion though. Don't hold me to that.

* * *

**California Love**

"I'm gonna miss you chica." Madison hugs me for like the eighth time. She and Aiden volunteered to drop me off at the airport this morning.

"I'm gonna miss you guys too." I pout as I pull back from the hug. "Promise to come visit me in California this summer?" I question with a raised brow.

"Yeah no." Madison shakes her head. "I'm not really a sunshine and sand type of girl."

"Boo you Madison, you have to come. Even if it's only for a week."

"We'll be there Spence." Aiden speaks up, getting a sideways glance from his girlfriend.

"I didn't ask you to speak for me." She snaps at him. He smiles.

"Yeah, but you're being a total bitch to your best friend right now." Aiden retorts, not missing a beat. These two are so perfect for each other.

"I'm from New York, it's what we do." Madison shrugs at Aiden then turns back to me. "We'll come for the fourth of July or something." She throws out as she pulls me into another hug.

"Yay." I say as we pull back, clapping my hands together. "You'll get to meet my parents, my brothers...and Lexy."

"You're pushing it Spence." Aiden chimes in. I chuckle because I know he's right. Lexy is the main reason Madison doesn't want to go to California. She's definitely the jealous type. She hates sharing.

"Fine." I say and chuckle. "I love you guys. Don't have too much fun while I'm gone." I tell them, pulling them both into another hug.

"All this hugging is making me feel like a total chick right now." Aiden says, squirming out of my grasp.

"Aw, you love it." I pull him back in.

"You should go before we kidnap you and you miss your plane." Madison says in a serious tone. Yeah, she's not joking right now.

"Okay, okay." I say quickly. Giving them both a chaste kiss on the cheek and scurrying off into the airport.

"We love you!" They shout to my retreating figure, causing people to turn and stare at them. I shake my head and giggle and them.

–

"Fancy seeing you here." A raspy voice says, causing me to look up from my book.

"Oh my God, um... Ashley right?" I stand and smile as she nods.

"Spencer." She points and returns the smile.

"What are you..." I trail off, realizing the question I was about to ask her was none of my business.

"The gig we had this morning got canceled so we're heading back early." She answers anyway.

"Cool." I reply nodding.

"Um... I think that's my seat." She points to the seat on the side of me next to the window.

"No way." I shake my head and smile as she shows me her ticket.

"13B." She reads the ticket. "Must be fate." She adds, putting her suitcase in the overhead compartment above us before squeezing in next to me.

"Must be." I mumble as she sits down.

"So, Spencer." She pauses, grabbing my book out of my hand. "The Great Gatsby." She reads the cover page and smiles as she looks back up at me.

"It's a classic." I shrug and take it back from her.

"I bet." She nods.

"It was either this or my visual photography book and I'm so tired of school right now that-"

"Say no more." She throws up a hand, cutting me off. "It's the end of the year, summer time. Are you going back to California to live it up Spencer?" She asks, staring at me intently.

"Not really." I chuckle and shake my head. "Visiting family and friends."

"Oh! So you're a Cali girl then?" I nod. "I should have known." She says with narrowed eyes.

"And why's that?" I question with a raised brow.

"You're more laid back then all the other people I met at that party last night... And a lot tanner." She adds after a moment.

"I um..." I trial off trying to hide my flushed cheeks.

"It's a compliment Spencer." She smiles. "Just go with it." She adds.

"Where's your band?" I ask looking around us.

"They're coming on a later flight. I had some things to take care of in California." She explains as I turn back to face her. "You afraid to be alone with me Spencer?" She questions with a raised brow and a smirk.

"Technically we're not alone." I retort with a smile.

"Right." She nods, turning around in her seat. "Well, I promise I won't bite." She says as the flight attendant begins to speak on the microphone. "You know..." She adds after a moment. "Unless you want me to." My eyes widen a bit as I turn my head slightly to face her. I can see the smirk on her face, but she keeps her eyes forward.

I bite the corner of my lip as I ferociously think of something to talk to her about. What are the odds of her being on the same flight, in the seat right next to mine? Okay it may just be a coincidence but really, the circumstances are a bit too far fetch to allow me to think this. I lick my lips in search for words. Devastated at my lack of vocabulary when it comes to this perfect stranger I remain silent.

"So the Gatsby, is he really great?"

I snort out a laugh, then internally berate myself for snorting. Think of something clever Spencer, you can do this.

I clear my throat and nod. "Yup, the greatest."

Fail.

Really? Really Spencer?

The sound of her laughter eases my embarrassment and I can't help but smile at the look she's giving me. I nervously rub the back of my neck as we sit in the extremely lovable awkward silence. Her raspy chuckle causes my eyes to snap in her direction.

"You're really bad at this."

I tilt my head a little confused. "Bad at what?"

"Keeping conversation."

I put on my best face as I try to act cool. Imperative word...try. "Maybe I just don't want to talk to you."

"Oh, you _want _to talk to me." She replies quickly and smoothly. A smirk appears at her lips as I shrink a little in my seat. Did she get closer or are these airplane seats getting smaller?

"How can you be so sure?"

All my words trip over each other as I stare into her dark brown eyes. She's right, I am bad at this.

I need to shake this off. I clear my throat and readjust myself. Preparing myself to counter anything she comes at me with.

She shrugs nonchalantly. I watch as she licks her lips and it has to be the sexiest thing I've ever seen. Focus Spencer!

"Do you normally remember people you don't want to talk to?"

I smirk as I lean closer. She freezes and it seems my new-found confidence has caught her off guard.

"Well I guess you got me there but can you blame me? You're pretty unforgettable."

She chuckles and looks away for a minute. I take this as my chance to continue to turn up my charm.

"Seriously." The tone of my voice gets a little huskier and it grabs her attention quick. "The second I laid my eyes on you…" I close my eyes purse my lips blowing out a soft stream of air and gently shake my head to emphasize my astonishment.

Once I open my eyes I see her arched eyebrow and soft smirk.

"I'm waiting."

I chuckle lightly at the fact that she seems unfazed by my attempt to be smooth.

"Don't worry I'm worth it."

"I'm sure you are."

"This is your Captain speaking, ladies and gentleman, welcome aboard flight 327 to California." The Captain comes on the intercom, breaking up the staring contest we were having. "We are looking at clear skies and temperatures right around 72 degrees. The flight will be approximately five hours and forty-four minutes. Let's see if we can get you there in five and a half. Flight attendants please take your seats for take-off. We're second in line and will off the ground in about two minutes.

As the plane rolls into position for take off, I inadvertently grab a hold of Ashley's hand thinking it was the arm rest.

"Sorry." I duck my head, immediately pulling away my hand.

"If you wanted to hold my hand, all you had to do was say so." She tells me with a smirk, grabbing my hand in hers. My breath hitches as I try desperately to contain myself. I know she can feel how clammy my hands are and that only adds to my embarrassment. "You don't fly much, do you?" She turns and asks with a smile.

"No." I shake my head, returning the smile.

"It's okay." She nods, tightening the grip on my hand. "There's only like a tenth of a percent of a chance that we'll crash." She shrugs and turns back around in her seat.

"Yeah..." I pause and shake my head. "Nope, that doesn't make me feel better." I add and she chuckles.

"I tried." She laughs with me.

"We are now ready for take off." The Captain comes on the intercom once more and says. I take a deep breath, preparing myself for what was about to happen. No matter how many times I fly, I can never get used to it.

"It's gonna be fine, Spencer." Ashley leans over and whispers in my ear. Yeah, if that was supposed to calm me down...it didn't work. The raspy tone of her voice and her breath tickling my ear only sent shivers down my spine, making my heart beat even faster. "I'm right here and I promise I won't let anything happen to you." She adds and oddly, I find comfort in her words. My heart slows as I finally release the breath I was holding.

"We are now cruising at maximum altitude." Is announced over the intercom. Ashley finally releases my hand, much to my dismay.

"Thank you." I turn to her and say softly.

She shrugs as a smile appears at her lips, "My pleasure."

"So, how long have you been into music?" I turn to her and ask. I can tell she's taken aback by my question, not because of the nature of the question but because I asked it in the first place.

"Look at you." She tilts her head in my direction, hardly able to contain her smile. "Fast learner aren't we?"

I shrug. "I guess." I reply with a smile.

"Since I can remember." She replies nonchalantly as she stares out the window. "I can't remember a time when I didn't love music. What about you?" She turns back to me and asks. "When'd you get into photography." She nods her head towards the camera on the floor in front of me. A small smile escapes my lips as I reminisce in the memory of my first camera. The first picture I ever took. "I was twelve years when I got my first camera. It was a little cheap disposable camera but I loved it. I used up all my film within the first thirty minutes of having it." I chuckle at the thought. She smiles, completely drawn to my story and I can tell she wants me to continue. "When my parents took me to get the film developed they realized how good the pictures were and um... I guess the rest is history." I shrug.

"Wow." She breathes out. I nod and smile.

"When you learn to play the guitar?"

"Seven." She replies quickly. "I'm a fast learner too." She adds with a smile.  
–

"It was nice sitting next to you Spencer." Ashley says as we exit the plane.

"Likewise." I reply with a smile. "Did you wanna walk out together?"

"I would love to but I have some stuff I need to do first and I don't wanna hold you up."

"Okay cool." I nod and turn to walk away.

"Wait Spencer." She stops me.

"Yeah?" I turn back to her.

"You dropped this." She picks up my book, handing it to me with a smile. Not exactly what I was hoping for.

"Thanks." I reply, forcing a smile.

"Maybe I'll see you around." She says before walking away in the opposite direction. I sigh as I stuff my book in my bag and head to the baggage claim to grab my other two bags. After grabbing my bags I headed to pick up to meet with Lexy.

"Oh my God bitch. I feel like it's been forever." Lexy says as she pulls me into a hug.

"Hey Lex." I smile and hug her back. "I missed you too."

"Next year we are not doing this. You're coming home for at least one holiday, got dammit." She says firmly as she takes one of my suitcases from me, lifting up the handle to roll it.

"Okay mom." I reply sarcastically, shaking my head at my friend as we exit the airport.

"Looks like you're gonna get to meet my girlfriend tonight after all." Lexy says as she replies to a text message on her phone.

"I thought you said she had a gig out of town or something."

"I guess they finished early or something, either way she's coming to my house later and I want you to meet her, end of story."

"How come you've never told me her name Lex?" I turn to her and ask, wondering why I've never pondered this before.

"It adds to the mystery that is her." She replies with a shrug.

"You're such a weirdo." I shake my head and chuckle at my friend as we head to her car.

We drive the short trip to my house and I'm immediately greeted by both my brothers as I exit Lexy's car.

"Spencer!" Glen shouts as he scoops me up in his arms. "I'm missed you little sis." He says, spinning me around.

"I missed you too, Glen." I chuckle as he puts me on the ground.

"Hey there Spence." My brother Clay decides on a more appropriate greeting for a twenty-two year old boy.

"Hey, Clay." I smile and hug him.

"Let's not go another nine months without a visit, okay?" He says as he pulls back.

"Preach Clay!" Lexy throws her hands towards the sky and says. We all chuckle at her as we head into the house.

"Where's mom and dad?" I question, flopping down on the couch. That plane ride really wiped me out.

"You know mom..." Glen trails off with a shrug.

"Working then." I finish his sentence.

"She wanted to take off Spence, but she just couldn't the hospital was swamped today." Clay defends her.

"And dad?" I question.

"He's coming back in town later tonight."

"Great." I sigh, putting my feet up on the table.

"You don't think you're sitting in the house all night do you?" Lexy asks, hoping over the back of the couch, taking a seat between Glen and I.

"What?" I whine out. I really just wanna lay in my bed all night.

"You are not spending your first night back in California cooped up in your room all night Spencer, I refuse to allow it." Lexy shakes her head.

"Lex, I really don't feel li-"

"Glen talk some sense into your sister please." Lexy throws out. I go to stand, but she pulls me back down.

"Leeeex." I whine out. I really just wanna have amazing, mind blowing, earth shattering...sleep... in my bed right now.

"Come on, I'm taking you out." Lex says, getting up and pulling me up with her.

"I seriously just wanna go lay down." I tell her with a unamused look on my face.

"Well that's seriously too damn bad." She says pulling me towards the door. "We're going to In and Out." She throws back over her shoulder to my brothers. They both quickly follow behind us.

"In and Out?" I turn to her and ask as I perk up, now supporting my own body weight.

"Mhm." She nods and smiles. She knows how I feel about In and Out. It's my guilty pleasure.

I'm not so sleepy anymore.

–

Chapter Title- Tupac- California Love


	4. Nicest Thing

I don't have time to reply to your amazing comments cause I'm totally at work right now, but I really wanted to get this chapter up. I really enjoyed reading your comments. They make me smile so keep them coming. The next couple of chapters are the shortest ones written so far so I may post a few chapters this week instead of just two. Anyways, enjoy.

* * *

**Nicest Thing**

"Spencer if you don't hurry up I swear I'm gonna come in there and-"

"You should totally leave without me." I yell through the bathroom door. In and Out with Lex and my brothers was fun, but all I wanna do now is get some sleep, not go to some stupid beach party. And I'm pretty sure I have jet lag.

"You know that's not happening now just come out." Lex says as she bangs on her bathroom door again. "Spencer I'm not opposed to breaking this door down."

"Lex, I really just wanna go home and-"

"I don't really care." She bangs again. "Open this now!" She practically yells, startling me enough to make me open the door. "That's better." She says sweetly with a crooked smile. "Damn!" She licks her lips as she spins me around to look me over. "I must say Spence, if I wasn't happily committed and you weren't practically my sister. I'd totally fuck you." She says then walks away.

"Yeah that wasn't creepy at all." I shake my head, taking a seat on the edge of her bed.

"You can't back out now anyways. I've already told my girlfriend that you'd be there and she's excited to meet you."

"What exactly have you told her about me, Lex?" I ask with a raised brow. I'm really not that interesting.

She purses her lips and shrugs. "Nothing really. Just that you're awesome."

"Thanks."

"You're really gonna love her Spence, I swear. You two have so much in common and she's all artistic like you. Just, super cool. I swear you're gonna love her."

"Is this like a set up or what?" I question with a smirk. The way Lexy's describing her is giving me that vibe right now.

"Shut up." She turns from her dresser mirror and throws a brush at me. I dodge it and return fire with a pillow, hitting her in the back of the head.

"You asshole!" She shouts, running and mounting me like I'm a damn horse.

"Get off, get off." I shout as she tickles me to death. Yep, that's totally my weakness.

"Not until you apologize and say how awesome my girlfriend is." She shakes her head as she continues to tickle me.

"I don't even know her." I barely get out through giggle fits. Breathing is becoming an issue at this point and although Lexy may look small, this chick is strong as hell. "Lex I can't breathe." I try but she's not buying it.

"Say uncle." She counters.

"Why in the hell would I call you my uncle right now?" I question, still giggling and trying to catch my breathe. Not an easy task.

"Bitch say uncle or I'll tickle the life out of you." She retorts, her face suddenly turning scary.

"Okay chucky." I giggle out. "Uncle, uncle!" I shout. She gives me a victorious smile before climbing off of me.

"See, easy." She shrugs and goes back to the mirror to finish her make-up.

"If your girlfriend is anything like you..." I pause, getting up from the bed and positioning myself for a quick exit once I finish the sentence. "Then she's probably a douche bag." I quip as I run out of her room. As expected, with her right on my heels.

–

"Still don't feel like being here?" She turns to me and asks with a smirk. This has to be the biggest beach party I've even gone too and I've live in California all my life so I've been to a lot of parties. But this one...this one definitely takes the cake.

"Why are there so many people here?" I lean towards her and shout over the music.

"Beginning of the summer party, some rich family moved into the Walker beach house, they throw a party like every other week. There always this crazy." Lexy replies as we approach the bar. "Corona please." She tells the bartender then glances over to me.

I shake my head. "Nothing for me." I tell her waving my hands.

"You and alcohol still fighting?" She asks with a raised brow and smirk as the bartender hands her a Corona.

"I think we'll get over it eventually, but I don't take to kindly to being boozed up and taken advantage of." I reply with a pout. Lexy bursts into laughter.

"You haven't changed one bit, Carlin." She says taking a swig of her beer.

"And that's a bad thing?" I yell over the music.

"Not at all." She yells back. Is it me or is this music getting louder? The band on stage lead singer seems to be screaming at the top of his lungs. "I can't wait until my girls band plays. These guys are horrible she says as she bobs her head to the music. I shake my head and snicker at her. She turns her back to the bar and puts her elbows up as she enjoys her beer.

"I met a girl." I say suddenly. Not really knowing where or why I felt the urge to tell Lexy this. It's not like I'll ever see her again. She turns to me with a smile. "It's nothing though." I shrug, shaking my head and rolling my eyes.

"Why do you say that?" She asks as she turns to face me.

"I probably won't ever see her again. There's like a one in a billion chance actually." I correct myself.

"Spencer!" Lexy chides me. "Why didn't you get her number? I've told you this a thousands times, if you like someone then just go for it. Put yourself out there and don't worry about getting hurt. If she doesn't feel the same when then so what...on to the next one right?" She bumps shoulders with me as she drinks more beer.

"I'm not like you Lex. I can't just tell a girl how I feel about her. That's not me." I shake my head. The band finishes their song and I thank all that is holy because they were really giving me a headache.

"You really need to loosen up, Spence. Tell me about this girl. Where'd you meet her?" Lexi turns back to me, genuinely interested in my answer.

"On the plane ride here." I reply. "Well technically in New York, but she was on the plane ride here too. I thought it might be fate or something." I sigh.

"What is it?" Lexi nudges me as the host of the party announces that another band is about to come on stage. I didn't catch the name.

"We had this amazing conversation, like everything just clicked. We nearly talked the whole flight, but then we landed she didn't ask for my number. She didn't even ask for my last name." I shut my eyes to picture her face. The way her nose crinkled when she smiled. The smirk that never left her pink lips. Her bright brown-

"What's her name?" Lexy turns towards the stage and asks. I can hear the next band warming up for their set. As the drummer clicks his sticks together, signaling the start of the first song, I turn towards the stage. And there she is. Her beautiful brown locks dancing across her face as she sways with the music.

One and billion. I think to myself as she begins to sing.

"_All I know is that you're so nice. You're the nicest thing I've seen. I wish that we could give it a go. See if we could be something."_

"Spence what's her name?" Lexy bumps me again.

"_I wish I was__ your favorite girl. I wish you thought I was the reason you are in the world. I wish my smile was your favorite kind of smile. I wish the way that I dressed was your favorite kind of style."_

"Earth to Spencer." Lexy waves a hand in my face.

"_I wish you couldn't figure me out. But you always wanna know what I was about. I wish you'd hold my hand. When I was upset. I wish you'd never forget. The look on my face when we first met .I wish you had a favorite beauty spot. That you loved secretly. 'Cause it was on a hidden bit. That nobody else could see. Basically, I wish that you loved me. I wish that you needed me. I wish that you knew when I said two sugars. Actually I meant three."_

"That girl." I breathe out pointing on stage. "The girl singing, that's Ashley." I get out, still reeling from how unbelievable this all is right now.

"Fuck! How'd you know?" Lexy asks from beside me. Huh? Know what? "I was gonna wait until her set was over, but you Detective Carlin had to go and ruin it. "Spencer meet my girlfriend Ashley, lead singer of Serenity." She smiles wide as she points to the girl on stage.

No. Fucking. Way.

"_I wish that without me your heart would break. I wish that without me you'd be spending the rest of your nights awake. I wish that without me you couldn't eat. I wish I was the last thing on your mind before you went to sleep. Look, all I know is that you're the nicest thing I've ever seen. And I wish that we could see if we could be something. Yeah I wish that we could see if we could be something."_

As the song finishes she opens her eyes and thanks the crowd, looking around and waving at everyone. She scans the crowd, I'm assuming for Lexy, when it happens; her eyes drift over to mine as Lexy smiles and waves at her. Not even noticing our little exchange. Ashley freezes, almost like she's seen a ghost, before she snaps out of it. She shakes her head as she announces to the crowd the next song they're gonna play.

"Hot isn't she?" Lexy turns back to me and asks.

"Yeah." I breathe out, my eyes fixed on the Ashley.

That did not just happen.

–

Song Used – Kate Nash: Nicest Thing


	5. Colorblind

****Ahh you guys are amazing with all the feedback. I love it. I love reading it so keep it coming. :) This is the shortest chapter yet so please forgive me for that but I promise there are many of these. Maybe another chapter today yeah?

odunit: Lol yesssssss.

YouOutaKnow: Lol. I like how you started that "no fate for you now" but we all know that's not true don't we? The Uncle thing had me cracking up too. Aw thank you, but I am capable of dull chapters trust me lol.

oftherose13: I agree with you. I think I like Madison and Aiden better.

Jay: Doesn't it though? Lexy is pretty clueless but maybe she's just trusting...

Ohsoclever1: Lmao. I was cracking up at your review. You clearly don't like Lexy. That was evident in your last review haha. Maybe she'll will you over after a few more chapters... maybe not. But she wasn't a character that I was intentionally trying to make you guys dislike. I honestly don't know where her personality came from lol.

TheDWall: Your wish is my command. I agree though, the way she found out was awesome cause she couldn't say or do anything in that moment cause Ashley's her bestfriends girl and all.

MADDY22: Yup... Sad but true.

Lezbritt: Here you are.

snowdrop1026: I love your dramatic music right there haha. I think that was totally a dun dun dun moment lol.

Tam24: The beginning of your review hurt m feelings and I was like omg no lol. But I'm glad that you're liking it. I hope it stays that way.

Amy: Thanks Amy. It will definitely get interesting to say the least.

MsBlaze: I can't even deal with you lol. Like you don't know why...

* * *

**Colorblind**

"_I am colorblind. Coffee black and egg white. Pull me out from inside. I am ready, I am ready, I am ready I am."_ Ashley sings as they play the final song of their set. I haven't been able to take my eyes off of her the entire time she's been on stage._ "I am taffy stuck and tongue tied. Stutter-shook and uptight. Pull me out from inside. I am ready, I am ready, I am ready, I am..fine." _Everything about her is pulling me in. Making me want her that much more.

"She's amazing right?" Lexy turns to me as says as she sways to her girlfriends voice.

But this is wrong.

"_I am covered in skin. No one gets to come in. Pull me out from inside. I am folded and unfolded and unfolding. I am colorblind. Coffee black and egg white. Pull me out from inside."_

Everything about this is wrong. She's my best friends girl. I shake my head to clear my thoughts as the songs begins to wind down.

_I am ready, I am ready, I am ready, I am fine. I am fine. I am fine." _Ashley finishes, thanking the crowd as her band shuffles off stage.

"They're amazing right?" Lexy turns back to me and asks again. I nod and smile, trying to keep my facial expression as neutral as possible as Ashley makes her way through the crowd towards us. "Baby." Lexy greets Ashley with a kiss, pulling her into a hug.

I think I'm going to be sick.

My eyes are fixed on Ashley and she's watching me as Lexy embraces her lovingly. She tries to talk to me with her eyes, but I quickly drop my head, scanning the ground for something...anything. I can't watch this. I can't look her with my best friend and be okay right now. So I search for an escape instead. Maybe Lexy won't notice if Ashley's around.

Lexy removes herself from Ashley's grasp and wraps an arm around her waist. She points to me, about to start an introduction that, unbeknownst to her, is completely unnecessary.

"Baby this is my best friend Spencer." She's smirking right now. I can't believe she's smirking. I should push her up against something and… "Spence!" I'm taken out of my thoughts by my best friend and her obnoxious hand, that's waving around in front of my face.

"Quit it," I slap her hand away with a tut, causing Ashley to laugh. "You're waving your arms like the karate kid on speed. I heard you." I think it's safe to say Ashley's laugh does things to me. I'm thrown back into the memories of earlier today. The plane ride, the talk, the flirting. There was definitely flirting.

I extend a hand and Ashley does the same. The pang in my hand sends me reeling as the shock from our almost touch radiates through my body. You know that shock that happens when you glide your feet across the carpet and touch a doorknob. We're on sand so that electricity is obviously just between us. Yeah, that's kismet shit right there.

Best friend's girlfriend…let's get back on track.

After we recover, we properly shake hands and I quickly remember the way she easily slipped her hand in mine when we were on the plane. Everything in me quickly heats. I take a step closer, apparently hypnotized by her eyes as she does the same.

"It's nice to meet you."

I'm not sure whose speaking right now. Her lips are moving but mine feel like they are as well. I can't pull back, I want to take a step back, to yell how big of asshole she is for flirting with me in New York and on the plane.

For making me feel like...like... this.

"I'm so glad you guys are finally meeting." Lexy claps her hands together cheerfully before placing a hand on each of our backs. "This summer is gonna be so amazing." She smiles at the pair of us before giving us each a kiss on the cheek. "I'm gonna go get us some drinks. Ashley you want a-"

"Corona." Ashley says, turning to look at Lexy; effectively breaking our staring contest.

"Spence?" She turns to me and asks.

"Sprite." I answer distractedly. Trying not to take my eyes off Ashley. Although I do catch the exchange between Lexy and Ashley as Lexy walks away. They seem so in love.

"Well what are the-"

"Are you fucking kidding me?" I stop her mid-sentence, anger evident in my tone.

"I'm not sure I-"

"You're in a fucking relationship Ashley and you didn't feel the need to disclose that information before we started flirting?" I question with a hand on my hip and a raised brow. I'm pissed right now and I'm gonna need a damn good explanation to become un-pissed.

"Spencer it was harmless flirting." She smirks and shrugs. "I didn't think a conversation starter should include; Hey I'm Ashley, I have a girlfriend, nice to me you." She narrows her eyes at me. "Plus, I honestly never thought I would see you again."

"Like that makes it any better!" I reply quickly.

"Spencer," She whispers my name, moving closer to me. "...don't cause a sce-"

"Really?" I cut her off again.

"Look I'm sorry if I led you on or made you think that-"

"Out of all the fucking people in L.A!" I shout. She looks around me to see if Lexy was coming. "Out of all the damn people." I begin again, speaking through gritted teeth. "You just had to go and be my best friends girlfriend." I shake my head and sigh at the irony of this whole situation. She chuckles and opens her mouth to speak but quickly closes it when she sees my facial expression. I seriously don't find any of this funny.

Depressing...yes.

Ironic... sure.

But funny... hell no.

"I could just-"

"Look, you were a stranger on a plane." She shrugs. "I—I didn't really think a biography of my life was in order." I don't reply. I have nothing to say. "Like I said.." She adds after a moment. "...it was harmless flirting." She says in a way that makes me forget my name, let alone why I'm mad. Her eyes are fixed on my lips and mine on hers. I can't be having these thoughts right now. Lexy's my best friend and Ashley she's her girlfriend. This is so wrong. We both lift our eyes and connect eyes, she's telling me something right now, something I can't read. I open my mouth to ask her but I'm cut off...

"Here you are." Lexy cuts me off mid sentence as she hands us both our respective drinks. We eye each other over our bottles as we each sip our drinks.

"How dare this band think they can follow Serenity!" Lexy yells to Ashley over the music, looking unimpressed with the current group that's taken the stage.

"Oh come on, they're good." Ashley yells back to Lexy, bobbing her head to the beat.

"You guys are better." Lexy shrugs. "Sleepover at my place?" My best friend suggests, glancing back and forth between me and Ashley.

I glance at Ashley, connecting eyes with her briefly. I can't do this. I can't be in the same house with her and Lexy.

"Lex, I'm really tired I'm just gonna-"

"Nope." Lexy shakes her head, grabbing my hand. I almost choke on my sprite as she pulls me towards the parking lot. "You're definitely coming." She tells me sternly. "Come on babe!" She throws over her shoulder, I see a stunned Ashley jog to catch up to us.

This is gonna be a great night.

–

Song Used- Natalie Walker- Colorblind


	6. You And Me

_A/N: This is becoming so redundant lol. So I'm not gonna say anything but thank you guys so much!_

Tam24: I swear I'm not doing it on purpose lol.

BeautyLikeFrozenCathedrals21: No she doesn't and that's gonna be a bad bad thing later on.

snowdrop1026: Lol Idk why that tickled me. Hope you enjoy this.

NDFightingIrishFan: Do you really think Ashley actually feels that way or she's just saying that to make it seem like she doesn't have feelings for Spence?

Chillaxin: Oh no! You stopped reading my stories? Was it something I did? :( lol no but really I'm so glad you are reading this one. I hope you enjoy it.

Jay: Awesomeness huh lol

googoo4u: Love the name. Of course it will always be Spashley! :)

FadeToLife: Definitely gotta build the tension up. Makes it even better when it actually does happen.

All-Time-Low343: Here you are.

odunit: Lol I think I would haha.

YouOutaKnow: Lol eh...maybe haha. See you catch what Ashley is trying right? Spencer's reaction was so warranted right? Ashley knows she was wrong for flirting when she had a gf. Smh.

sonfanatic: just for you *wink*

SoNfan227: Thank you. I hope you enjoy this chapter as well.

Msblaze: You're late so you don't get to be in this lol. wow I say that but put you here anyways smh.

* * *

**You And Me**

"So what should we do first?" Lexy asks as we all sit on her bed. "Watch a movie, make s'mores, Ooooh." She says, clapping her hands together, practically flying off the bed. "Maybe we could-"

"Maybe you should calm down." Ashley suggests to her girlfriend, chuckling a bit.

"I second that motion." I say raising my hand with a smile. "It's late Lex, I just wanna go to sleep." I plead to my friend. I've literally been up for more than seventeen hours.

"Yeah, Lexy bear." Ashley says. My head immediately shoots to her. Really? She glances at me from the corner of her eye. "I was on a plane for like six hours and then spent the rest of the night preparing for the show. I'm pretty wiped, plus I've got interviews pretty much all day with different photographers for the band tomorrow."

I watch as Lexy quirks her brow at her girlfriend. Uh-oh, I know that look. Please don't do what I know you're about to do.

"You should totally hire Spencer." Falls from her lips. I inwardly sigh.

And she did it.

Of course she did it.

Say no, say no, say no…

I watch as Ashley looks at me with intrigue.

"You take pictures?"

Why is she asking me that, did we not talk about this on the plane?

"She takes amazing pictures! She practically took every photo in our high school year book."

Apparently I'm not needed for this discussion about me.

"Maybe we should let her answer babe." Ashley suggests with a small laugh.

"Nonsense she'll do it won't you Spence?"

No.

"Sure."

I try my best to answer without cringing. No good can come from this. None.

"Only if you're sure Spencer."

I smile at how soft her features are right now. Her eyebrows slightly up, her brown eyes soft, it makes me want to sigh and I do. I only nod while we share a lingering gaze. She just whispers a soft okay and her mouth widens into a smile.

"See! Problem solved so now we can hang out."

"No I still need sleep." I shoot out quickly, knowing Lexy she won't last long anyway. I look over to Ashley and she nods in agreement.

"Well you both suck." Lexy pouts, sitting back down on her bed.

"Don't you have work in the morning anyways?" Ashley questions with a raised brow.

"So." Lexy shrugs. "I was planning on calling out anyways." She adds as she gets up and walks to her closet.

"Uh no. You know that prick of a boss of yours is already looking for a reason to let you go Lexy, don't give her one."

"But Spencer's in town." She whines as she pulls two comforters from her closet shelf. She drops them on the floor next to the bed and lays her head down on my lap. I stroke her hair and giggle at my best friend.

"I'll be here tomorrow when you get off, Lex. It's not like I'm going back to New York next week or something. We have the entire summer. Don't get fired and lose this awesomely amazing apartment because of me." I tell her, causing her to tilt her head up at me and smile sleepily.

"When did you become the responsible one in this relationship?"

"When I went off to New York and had to fend for myself for nine months." I chuckle at her as she lays her head back on my lap.

"I'm tired anyways." She replies, barely enunciating her words. Yup, she's about to be out cold. That's one thing you should know about Lexy; when she gets sleepy, like really sleepy, there's nothing you can do to wake her up. She's like a corpse when she's tired. "Spence you can take the spare bedroom downstairs." She mumbles as she gets under the covers.

"Okay." I say getting up and heading out the room.

"I'll be right back baby." Ashley tells her girlfriend, giving her a kiss on the cheek. I close my eyes and pray that she's not following behind me. I can not deal with her right now. "Spencer wait up." She calls to me once I'm half way down the stairs. I sigh and stop. "Are you really going to sleep right now?" She questions with a raised brow and smile. Damn her right now!

"No." I shake my head. "I just didn't want to make s'mores." I say and she chuckles. I laugh along with her.

"Me either." She says when she stops laughing. Her hands shoot inside her pockets as she drops her head, suddenly finding something interesting on the stairs carpet. "Did you wanna um... go watch TV or something?" She asks after a moment. Is she nervous right now?

"Um..." I clear my throat and pretend to think it over. The answer was always gonna be yes. "Sure." I nod nonchalantly.

–

"How dare you be a fan of this show, it's complete garbage and it teaches teens that it's okay to be become pregnant at sixteen." Ashley finishes her rant, complete with hand gestures and all. We started watching TV a few hours ago and can't seem to agree on a show to watch.

"I didn't say it was a good show." I counter with a smile. Hardly able to keep my composure after that cute rant she just went off on. "I simply said it's my guilty pleasure." I shrug. She shakes her head and rolls her eyes.

"It's a horrible guilty pleasure." She smiles and sits back against the couch as I change the channel.

"What's your favorite show?"

"Easy," She turns back to me. "Grey's Anatomy."

"And what does that teach us? It says it's okay to have sex when you're supposed to be working." I retort and she burst into laughter.

"That's so true though." She chuckles out.

"What's your favorite show?" She questions me once she's able to contain her laughter.

"Scandal." I answer quickly.

"And what does that teach us exactly?" She questions with a raised brow.

"That it's okay to have an affair with the president." I reply with a shrug causing her to laugh. "But only if you're Kerri Washington of course." I add quickly, chuckling along with her.

"Confession." She says, sighing out of her laughter. I motion for her to continue. "I'm probably falling in love," She pauses and clears her throat. "With Scandal. It's taking over the number one spot in my heart." Oh my God! She totally did that on purpose.

"I totally have a crush on Shonda Rhimes's brain." I tell her with a shrug.

"You don't?" She questions, amusement in her tone.

"Yep. And I told her that."

"You didn't?"

"I wrote her a fan letter asking her if I could marry her brain." I pause and put on my best serious face. "I never got a reply so... I'm assuming her brain turned down my proposal." I finish. Ashley tries but fails to hold in her laughter.

"That's hilarious." She gets out through chuckles.

"My pain of rejection is hilarious to you?" I question in a high pitched voice, laughing along with her. "I'm so glad I amuse you." I add. We both sigh out of our laughter as she turns and her eyes meet mine. A moment of silence over takes us. Don't get drawn in Spencer...look away. Look away!

"What's your favorite color?" She asks as I drop my head.

"Black." I say softly, keeping my eyes toward the floor.

"Mine too." She replies just as softly causing me to go against my better judgment and look up at her. She's staring at me. Begging me with her eyes to tell her I'm not having the same feeling she is. The overwhelming urge to be near her. A practical stranger.

Have you ever felt that?

The need to be close to someone. Someone you may barely even know. Someone you know you shouldn't want to be around in this way.

"Ashley," I start, shaking my head. "I can't-"

"I wrote a new song earlier." She cuts me off. "You wanna hear it?"

"It's two-thirty in the morning." I shake my head and smile at her.

"So." She shrugs, getting up from the couch. She walks into the other room and comes back with her guitar. "We both know that once Lexy's out, she sleeps like a bear in hibernation." She adds and I can't help but laugh. I laugh so hard that a snort escapes and I immediately feel embarrassed. My hand shoots up to cover my mouth.

"It's okay." Ashley chuckles. "It's cute." She adds after a moment. I drop my hands as our eyes meet. Neither of us are saying anything, we can't. There's this awkwardly amazing thing going on right now and words just won't form. I sigh and shake my head clear.

"You sure you want to do the shoot for us? I mean I know Lex put you on the spot…"

I raise a hand to cut her off because one, the idea of spending more time with her is appealing and trying to back out of a plan Lexy conjured up…let's just say it's easier to be a survivor on the Titanic.

"It's fine really, I'm not doing much this summer anyways and well I breathe photography.

We sit in silence again. These awkward moments are getting old really quickly. I notice her lick her lips as she thinks of how to get out of our uncomfortable situation. It's still the sexiest thing I've ever seen.

She's your best friends girlfriend Spencer. I remind myself. "So, you gonna play that song for me or what?" I ask, breaking our staring match.

"Right." She nods, dropping her head disappointingly to her guitar. She strums the first cord and I'm already in love with the song. But when she starts singing, when the words actually leave her lips, mixed with the sound of her guitar I know, I know that I'm in trouble. That this isn't gonna end well._"What day is it? And in what month? This clock never seemed so alive. I can't keep up and I can't back down. I've been losing so much time. 'Cause it's you and me and all of the people with nothing to do. Nothing to lose. And it's you and me and all other people. And I don't know why, I can't keep my eyes off of you." _She glances up at me from her guitar, telling me everything I want...need to hear, with her eyes._ "One of the things that I want to say just aren't coming out right. I'm tripping on words __You've got my head spinning. I don't know where to go from here. 'Cause it's you and me and all of the people with nothing to do. Nothing to prove. And it's you and me and all other people. And I don't know why, I can't keep my eyes off of you."_

Much like the first time I saw her perform in New York, I can't turn away. I can't force myself to not listen. To just get up and leave. I know that this is wrong.

"_There's something about you now. I can't quite figure out. Everything she does is beautiful. Everything she does is right."_

I know that I shouldn't want to. That every part of me shouldn't be longing to just kiss her. To take the guitar from her hands and kiss her.

"_Cause it's you and me and all of the people with nothing to do. Nothing to lose. And it's you and me and all other people. And I don't know why, I can't keep my eyes off of you and me and all other people with nothing to do. Nothing to prove. And it's you and me and all other people. And I don't know why, I can't keep my eyes off of you."_

She licks her lips and glances at me. I can't tell if she's thinking the same thing as me. If she wants what I want.

"_What day is it? And in what month? This clock never seemed so alive." _She strums the final chord with eyes fixed on mine. I should tell her that this shouldn't happen. That it will never happen. But the words won't leave my lips. Partly because I know they wouldn't be true.

Instead, "That was amazing Ashley," comes out and the smile that appeared at her lips tells me everything I need to know.

"I'm glad you like it." She replies softly, her eyes boring holes in mine. She unconsciously licked her lips before starting again, "I wrote it about-"

"Baby you coming to bed?" We both turn and see Lexy standing at the top of the stairs. "What are you guys still doing up, it's like three in the morning." She adds, rubbing the sleep from her eyes.

"I um... I had the urge to play." Ashley says, getting up from the couch. She puts her guitar back in it case. "Spencer here was nice enough to stay up and listen." She adds, giving me a small smile.

"Yeah. That's my best friend for you." Lexy nods. "Come to bed baby." She waves her arms, motioning for Ashley to follow behind her, before turning and heading back up the stairs.

"I should go." Ashley nods in Lexy's direction.

"Right." I nod, standing up from the couch.

"Goodnight Spencer." She says softly. The look on her face tells me that she wants to hug me but she thinks better of it.

"Goodnight." I match her tone as she turns and walks around the couch and up the stairs. I drop my head in my hands, wanting to scream at how fucked up this whole situation is.

I shake my head and make my way into the spare bedroom. Maybe a good nights sleep will fix this.

….

Who the hell am I kidding?

–

Song used- Lifehouse- You and Me


	7. I'd Rather Be With You

Tam24: Whaaaaat you gotta believe me. I don't know, maybe...maybe not hehe.

snowdrop1026: I think your feelings for Lexy will get worse as the story goes on. Lol, that's how we all feel about Spashley.

NDFightingIrishFan: Yeah, I think Ashley said it to convince herself more than anyone else.

Chillaxin: I found that pretty funny myself lol. Oh you have no idea how awkward things will get hehe.

YouOutaKnow: Lol you're so sure she was gonna say that I love it! lol. Lmao she should have stayed in hibernation. Greys Anatomy is the beeeeest.

SoNfan227: Next chapter right here for you.

Msblaze: Baby I love how you quote my story so much in your reviews lol

TheDWall: Really, that good? I agree the moment was set up just for that kiss but we can't have that yet now can we gotta build the suspension.

SoNFan1604: Aww. That made me smile. I aim to please.

Ohsoclever1: I love Lifehouse too. And most of the other artists and bands that will be in this story. My inspiration from Lexy comes in the form of a character named Lexy from this showed called Lip Service her real name is Anna Skellern and her Australian accent does things to me...lol. I am such a sucker for Australian accents.

Always-An-Eternity: I don't know *shrug* maybe you're just sick of seeing stories by me like half the people on this site lol. I never stop. Glad you're loving it so far. Here's the next chapter for you.

lezbritt: Well here you are then.

Guest: She's not fooling anyone lol.

* * *

**I'd Rather Be With You**

The ringing of my cell phone pulls me out of my sleep. I glance over at the clock on the nightstand. Who's calling me at nine in the morning on a Sunday? I groan as I grab my phone off the dresser, looking at the caller I.D. I should have known.

"Yes, Madison?" I answer in my sleepy voice. Hoping she would get the hint.

"So you get there and forget me. I see how it is." Madison half yells at me through the phone.

"I'm sorry Mads, I told you, yesterday was really hectic."

"You think I care?" She snaps. I can't help but giggle. "You promised me we'd talk every day Spence, everyday!" She yells. "Missing a day is not every-"

"I got it, I got it." I chuckle out. "It won't happen again." I add after a moment.

"Damn right it won't!" She says sternly, followed by a 'hmph.' "So what happened yesterday that made it so hectic?" I sigh as I remember yesterdays events.

I roll over and scream into the pillow. "I don't want to talk about it." I mumble.

"That bad huh?"

"You have no idea." I say as I turn over.

"Maybe if you tell me about it I can-"

"Spencer." A knock on my door cuts Madison off. I shoot up in bed, knowing who that voice belongs too.

"Just a second." I yell back to her. "Madison I gotta go." I tell my friend quickly.

"Oh no the hell you don't." Is her reply. I really don't have time for stubborn Madison.

"Madison I swear I will fill you in on all the details, but it's gonna have to be later." I reply quickly as I run into the bathroom to freshen up.

"Fine!" She says and I can tell she's pouting. "But I want every single detail later." She adds.

"Promise." I tell her and quickly hang up the phone. I brush my teeth and wash my face quickly before running out the bathroom to answer the door.

"Good morning." Ashley smiles when I finally open the door.

"Hey." I force out a smile. "Sorry I was um... I-"

"It's cool." She waves me off with her free hand; the other one occupied by her guitar.

"Were you writing?" I question, glancing down at her guitar.

"Yeah." She nods and smiles. "I um, I have the urge to write most mornings. It's just something I do." She shrugs it off.

"Cool." I nod, pursing my lips. We stare at each other for a moment before I drop my head. I see her smile in my peripheral vision.

"Anyways, I came to see if maybe you wanted breakfast or something. I cooked some..." She thumbs towards the kitchen. "Lexy's gone to work and I didn't want it to go to waste so if you want some it's um.. it's here." She finishes, awkwardly stepping back. Glancing from the kitchen back to me.

"Sure." I nod and smile. "Let me just put some clothes on and I'll be right out." I tell her.

"Okay." She nods and backs up away from the door. I bite my cheek to hide my smile as I close the door to get dressed.

After getting dressed I headed towards the kitchen.

"_Sittin' here, on this lonely dock. Watch the rain__ play on the ocean top. All the things I feel I need to say. I can't explain in any other way."_ Ashley's voice stops me before I get around the corner to the kitchen. She just has this way about her when she sings. She gets so completely lost in her music. Kinda like how I am with my photography I guess.

"_I need to bold. Need to jump in the cold water. Need to grow older with a girl like you. Finally see, you were naturally. The one to make it so easy when you show me the truth. Yeah, yeah I'd rather be with you. Say you want the same thing too."_ I smile as she continues to sing. _"Now here's the sun, come to dry the rain. Warm my shoulders and relieve my pain. You're the one thing that I'm missing here. With you beside me I no longer fear. I need to be bold. Need to jump in the cold water. Need to grow older with a girl like you." _

"That's really good." I cut her off, coming around the corner as she sings the chorus again.

"Um thanks." She tells me with a smile as she places the guitar down beside her, hopping off the counter.

"You wrote that this morning?" I question, finding it hard to believe that she's that amazingly talented.

"Yeah." She shrugs and nods. "But it's not done yet. At least I don't think it is."

"Sounds pretty done to me." I tell her as I take a seat at the table. "This looks amazing." My mouth waters as I scan over all the food that's set out for me. I pile a bunch of it on my plate. "A musician and a cook." I look up at her as I take a bite of my french toast.

"Among my many other talents." She says, sitting down across from me. "What about you? I know photography's your thing, right?"

"Right." I nod.

"Can I see some of your work?" She questions, grabbing a piece of bacon and eating it.

"I um...I don't know." I shrug and smile shyly. "I'm pretty private when it comes to my pictures it's a-"

"I get it." She cuts me off with the wave of a hand. "No need to explain."

"Okay." I smile and go back to enjoying my food. Which is delicious by the way.

"Did you have any plans today Spencer?" She stands from the table suddenly and asks.

"Uh." I swallow the food in my mouth. "I was just gonna go visit my parent's I didn't get to see them yesterday. Why did you wanna-"

"No it's cool." She shakes her head. "I was just gonna ask if you wanted to go check out some spots with me that we're thinking about using for the photo shoot. It was Lexy's idea." She adds quickly as she starts to clear the table. I smile at the fact that she even felt like she needed to add that.

"Yeah. I can do that." I tell her.

"Really?" She turns back to me and asks.

"Yeah." I smile. "It's no problem." I stand from the table with my plate in hand. "As long as you don't mind going to meet my parent's first." I add, dumping my scraps in the trash and placing my plate in the sink.

"Right, yeah." She nods. "Um...parent's... I could totally do that." She says, uncertainty evident in her tone. I stifle a laugh.

"Is there something wrong?" I turn back to her and ask.

"No." She shakes her head, poking at her bottom lip. "Parent's love me." She nods and visibly gulps.

"Okay, I'm gonna go get ready." I thumb towards the room, turning on my heels and heading in that direction.

"Parent's love me Spencer." She yells to my retreating figure. I can't help the smile that appears at my lips. I shut the door behind me, leaning up against it for support while I gather myself. Today is definitely going to be interesting. I finally composure myself, kicking up from the door to finish getting ready. After doing my hair and making sure I look cute enough, I gather the rest of my things and before I can leave the room my phone goes off again. I smile shaking my head. This girl…

"It's later, now spill!" Madison practically shouts at me and I can't help the laugh that escapes. It only annoys the Latina more as she quickly grows impatient on the other line.

"Madison it's been like twenty minutes." I finally get out.

"You said later and it's later." I can imagine her face as her sassy attitude builds with every second. New Yorkers really are impatient.

"Okay well I can't talk now but I promise to call you when I have time."

"Uh excuse you, I'm your best friend you're just supposed to make time for me." I sigh, quickly growing frustrated. I love the girl but she does not quit.

"Don't go breathing all heavy on me Spencer. You're already forgetting about me and acting like its no big deal. You left me here without anyone to play with." I chuckle as I pace the floor of Lexy's spare room.

"Play with Aiden." I laugh at her obnoxious groan of disapproval.

"It's not the same." She whines out.

"Spencer you almost ready?" I hear Ashley call from the front of the apartment. I cover my phone so not to damage Madison's hearing as I shout back.

I know right, how considerate of me.

Thank you for noticing.

"Yeah, be out in a minute." I remove my hand and focus my attention back on my friend. "Mads I really gotta go."

"Was that the best friend stealer?"

I erupt in laughter. "Technically you're the best friend stealer cause you came after Lexy." I retort.

"Well you know me... always getting what I want."

That's for sure. Like right now she wants a conversation with me and I'm the ass staying on the phone when I know I have to leave.

"So who was that?"

"Nunya…"

"Don't try to pull that nunya business on me Carlin, I taught you that. You might as well start talking chica because my ass will keep calling you until you do."

She really will.

"Remember the lead singer of the band at the party?"

"Shut up!"

"Yeah and she's waiting and I have to leave so can you retract your claws so I can go?"

"How did this happen?"

As much as I would love to tell her everything, right now I can't. I sure as hell can't talk to Lexy about everything and Madison was always a great…well, not listener because she's always cutting me off but I can tell her anything. I just can't indulge in that luxury right now.

"Madison I really have to go I will talk to you later."

I hear her suck her teeth and groan, clearly unhappy with the short phone call. "Fine but you better tell me everything. And when I say everything I mean everything like every mother…"

"I got it Madison, everything." I cut her off. "Bye." I hang up the phone, stuffing it into my pocket, grabbing my camera bag. As I'm about to leave the room my phone goes off again. "Madison!" I shout into the receiver. "Thirty seconds is not later!"

"You were always feisty in the morning."

And now I'm nauseous. Sad, 'cause breakfast was so good too.

I probably should've checked the caller ID before answering this call.

"I'm not doing this." I say, pulling my phone away from my ear. Her urgent pleas cease any further motion. "What do you want Carmen?" I put on my best bored tone but I know that if I stay on the phone too long with her I'll get weak.

"I just…" I hear her sigh as she tries to formulate something to tell me. "I miss you."

"And I miss the Animaniacs, but you don't see me calling the WB asking for them back. You need to stop this Carmen. I can't do this back and forth with you anymore."

"Spencer I love you." I close my eyes as I let her words wash over me. There were times when those words would overtake me. When I would drown in them, but no...not now. Now they're just a mist of emptiness.

Before I can say anything Ashley is knocking on the door. She must be part ninja because I didn't even hear her walking towards the room.

"Hey, I was afraid you got lost." I smile as she closes her eyes in embarrassment at the bad joke.

"Who's that?" I hear Carmen ask.

Sorrowful to jealous in less than a minute. Is it mean that I kind of feel good about it? It is? Well whatever. I think I deserve to gloat a little after everything she put me through.

"Don't worry about it." I answer coolly. "I'm hanging up now."

"So that's it? You find someone else and forget about everything between us, everything we had?"

I laugh sardonically at her choice of words. It's my turn to undergo a mood swing as I easily fall into anger.

"Why not?! You most certainly did, you forgot all about everything between us, everything we had when you fucked another girl! I was gonna try with you Carmen, I was gonna try to forget but now...now I'm not. Now, this is done. Don't call me again." I tell her coldly before I hang up my phone and release a deep breath. I look up to see Ashley staring at me wide eyed. I smirk a little as I walk out of the room. "I like to channel the Hulk sometimes." I shrug as say as I walk past her. She laughs and follows me down the hall.

"I bet you'd look good in nothing but purple pants." She calls after me.

I chuckle inwardly, but keep my cool as I reply, "Wouldn't you like to know?"

–

Song Used- Joshua Radin – I'd Rather Be With You

_A/N: Thoughts about it so far?_


	8. A Drop In The Ocean

A/N: You guys keep me smiling. :) I think I need to mention that this story is as amazing as it is because of my muse and my amazing beta!

Ohsoclever1: Madison is definitely not going anywhere. The little things are what matter right? :) I really love that song. Like I said, most of the songs I use in this are songs I absolutely love so I'm glad you're enjoying them too. I know a couple of New Yorkers and I spent some time there. Their patience is definitely thin if not non existent lol. Classic WB television. Gotta love it.

LobaDeIlladel: You have no idea how amazing it feels to get a review from you! Short long... I really don't care. You could post PMS and I'd be okay lol.

All-Time-Low343: OMG I wanna totally marry you. seriously! You're Australian? ugh. You've totally just won my heart lol. I listen to a lot of Australian talk radio just for that.

msblaze: Of course it wasn't that song. You know I don't get down like that lol. You're crazy.

DominoL: Yay! :)

2000: I'm happy that you're happy. I hope my brain keeps producing stories cause I love writing them!

Chillaxin1: Nooo don't take offense lol. But you know I'm right though haha!

SoNFan227: I'm sorry. I'll try to post more chapters a week. More than two lol

Jay: Don't we all want Best friends like her?

Tam24: Exactly!

oftherose13: haha! That made me laugh lol. Oooh Madison is a riot.

BeautyLikeFrozenCathedrals21: Lol really, you and Mads huh? haha. I'm happy you laughed this chapter. I'm trying to keep most of these chapters pretty light because I know how heavy they're gonna get in the future. No one likes Carmen lol.

odunit: Here you are! :)

Asfan: oooh I like that one word.

YouOutaKnow: I like it too. Madison is the best friend I think everyone wants some point in their life. Carmen is ridiculous. haha. Glad you love the purple pants line.

**Enjoy!**

* * *

**A Drop In The Ocean**

"Was that your ex?" Ashley asks, keeping her eyes on the road as we drive to my parents house. I put the address in her GPS so we I wouldn't have to give her turn by turn directions.

"Yeah." I reply softly, not really wanting to get into a conversation about Carmen.

"Sore subject?" She questions, turning and looking at me briefly.

"You can say that." I tell her with a nod. "Carmen doesn't really deserve to be talked about to be honest. Um... she cheated on me and then paraded around with the girl in my face the next day like it didn't happen." As the words leave my lips I can feel the tears building. My wound still a bit open. Carmen was my first girlfriend and I thought she would be my only. How very lesbian of me right? Well I didn't come out until senior year of high school...to myself and to others. My parents took it better than I thought they would and well Lexy... when I told her she said and I quote, "Thank fucking God cause I was so sick of pretending like I didn't know." She'd told me she was gay in like third grade believe it or not. I think after I came out our relationship grew much stronger. We had more in common, I guess.

"Well she's stupid." Ashley says, causing me to look at her. She glances at me again, alternating between my eyes and the road. "Anyone that would cheat you Spencer, is stupid." She says again and I can see the honesty in her eyes.

What do I say to that?

"Thanks." Falls from my lips before I could stop it. Thanks? Thanks! Wow, nice one Spencer.

Ashley chuckles and nods. "You're welcome..." She narrows her eyes at me. "I guess."

"_You have arrived at your destination." _The GPS tells us, breaking our staring match as Ashley puts the car in park.

"We're here." I say for no reason.

"Yeah." She nods. "I gathered." She adds with a smile.

"Spencer!" I hear my mom yell from the door. I drop my head and sigh, rolling my eyes as I turn to look at her. Oh God, she's running towards the car with her arms open, waiting for me to fill them. Why is she running? I turn back to Ashley to see her laughing.

"That's your mom huh?" She nods towards an excited blonde.

I sigh. "Yup." I shake my head as I exit the car. "Hi mom." I barely get out as she engulfs me in a hug.

"Don't you ever make me wait nine whole months without seeing my baby ever again." She tells me sternly as she squeezes me even tighter. I think she should be having this conversation with God... don't you?

Get it?

Get it?

"Mom you're crushing my clavicle." I tell her trying to catch my breath.

"Oh don't be ridiculous." She says releasing me. I hear Ashley chuckle as she gets out of the car. "Ah!" My mom shouts, running around to the other side of the car. "You must be Carmen?" She questions, pulling Ashley into a hug.

"Mom that's not Carmen." I tell her quickly. She gives me a confused look. "I told you, Carmen and I broke up three weeks ago." I add, rolling my eyes as she releases Ashley.

"Oh!" She says, looking at me then turning back to Ashley. "Then who is this?" I let out a puff of air, frustrated at how annoying my mom is being right now.

"I'm Ashley." Ashley tells my mom through a chuckle, holding out her hand for my mom to shake.

"Well aren't you polite." My mom says, disregarding Ashley's hand, pulling her into a hug.

"Mom!" I squeak out as she hugs Ashley tighter. Are you kidding me right now?

"Are you Spencer's new girlfriend?" She asks letting Ashley go.

"Um no ma'am, actually I'm-"

"She's Lexy's girlfriend mom." I interject, saving Ashley the breath.

"Oh!" I mom says, nodding her head slowly like she just figured out the hardest puzzle of all time.

"But I'd like to think that Spencer and I are friends." Ashley gives me a pointed look before turning back to my mother.

"Of course, Of course." Paula nods and smiles. "Will you two be staying for lunch?" She asks as she walks back around the car to me.

"Actually mom, I just dropped by to say hello. Ashley and I have some-"

"Oh come on, Spence honey! You've been in an entirely different state for over nine months. Is it wrong that I want to have lunch with my daughter her first day back?"

"Technically it's my sec-"

"Of course we can stay for lunch." Ashley says appearing next to me. My head quickly shoots to her, she gives me a smile before turning back to my mother.

"Excellent!" My mom says, practically jumping for joy. "This one's a keeper Spencer." She adds, smiling lovingly at Ashley before turning around and walking towards the house.

"You hear that?" Ashley turns to me and says. "I'm a keeper." She smiles widely. "I told you... parent's love me." She shrugs, before jogging to catch up with my mom.

"Too bad you're not mine to keep." I mumble out and sigh as I walk towards the house.

"So where's Lexy anyways?" I hear my mom ask Ashley.

"She's at work." She replies as they enter the house.

This is gonna be great.

–

"Lunch was amazing Ms..." Ashley trails off, realizing she never got my last name.

"Oh, just call me Paula honey." My mom tells her with the wave of a hand as she gets up to clear the table.

"So Ashley you-"

"She's taken Glen." I stop my brother before he could make an ass of himself.

"Anyways, Ashley..." He starts again.

"And gay." I cut him off. "Very, very gay." I add with a head nod.

"Damnit Spencer!" Glen says, kicking back his chair as he stands up from the table. He disappears into the kitchen as Clay and Ashley both chuckle.

"He would have hit on you until you either told him to fuck off or slept with him." I turn to Ashley and tell her. "I just saved you the trouble." I add wit a shrug.

"That's so true." Clay adds as he stands. "It was nice meeting you Ashley." He turns to her and says.

"You leaving?" I question him.

"Yeah. I've got class in a couple of hours and I want to see Chelsea before I go."

"I still don't understand why you chose to go to school in the Summer bro, you're gonna miss out." I tell him standing. In my peripheral, I see Ashley do the same.

"It was the only way I could graduate next Spring." He shrugs. "That's a price I'm willing to pay." He adds with a smile.

"Maybe you should channel some of your brain power into your brother. What is he in, his sixth year of college?" I question with a laugh, Clay joining in.

"Go easy on him Spence, you know he's challenged." Clay chuckles out.

"Right." I nod and laugh along with him. "Tell Chelsea I said hey."

"Will do. You know she's gonna wanna hang out with you so let me know when's best for you." He tells me as he comes around the table and kisses my cheek.

"Anytime, bro." I reply.

"I'll let her know. Again it was nice meeting you, Ashley." He says hugging her.

"You too." Ashley replies as they pull back from the hug.

"Tell mom I'm gone." He waves and leaves.

"Wow, you guys really like to hug huh?" Ashley asks with a quirked brow and smile.

"We're an affectionate family." I shrug, grabbing me and Ashley's plates off the table. "We like to show people what we're feeling instead of just using words." I add, turning to head towards the kitchen.

"I think that's cool." Ashley says, following behind me.

"So Ashley, what do you do?" My mom asks as we enter the kitchen. I hand her our plates as she loads the dishwasher.

"Mom really?" I question in an annoyed tone. All throughout lunch she kept asking Ashley questions, about Lexy and their relationship. I mean my goodness, give the girl a break. This isn't Jeopardy.

"It's okay Spencer." Ashley waves me off.

"See." My mom turns to me and says, stopping what she was doing. "It's okay." She adds before turning back to Ashley. I make a face at her before hoping on the counter.

"I'm a musician." Ashley tells my mom.

"Oooh. That's great. You know, Spencer's into photography. Two artistic minds, that's a match made in heaven."

"Mom!" I whine. Why is she doing this to me right now?

Ashley chuckles and says, "I did know that. But she won't let me see any of her work." She adds, glancing at me with narrowed eyes. I do the mature thing and stick my tongue out at her.

Yup, I know...

She laughs before turning back to my mom.

"You know what..." My mom starts, lifting up from the dishwasher. "She doesn't let me see any of her work either." She says then turns to me. "Why is that, Spencer?"

"Yeah, why is that Spencer?" Ashley chimes in.

I give them both an annoyed look. "I told you. My work is sacred." I say and shrug.

"Well so is my counter. So hop your little ass off of it." She comes over and shoo's me off. I turn to see Ashley laughing. I'm glad this is so amusing to her.

"Mom I'm leaving!" Glen shouts from somewhere in the front.

"Be home by dinner son." My mother yells back. Yup, Glen's a grown ass man who still lives with mommy and daddy. Typical.

"Oh by the way, Clay said to tell you he's gone."

"Well how nice of you to tell me thirty years later Spencer."

"You lucky I said anything at all." I shrug, grabbing a grape from the bowl on the counter and popping it in my mouth.

"So Ashley, are you like Spencer when it comes to your music?"

"Uh no ma'am. I love to share my music with other people." Ashley responds. Turning to look at me when she says the last part. I make a face that causes her to chuckle.

"I would love to hear something."

"Mom!" I whine again. "We really need to go. We've already spent more than-"

"It's fine Spencer." Ashley cuts me off, holding a hand up.

"Ashley." I say in a disbelieving tone. How dare she do this right now?

"We've got time." She chuckles. "I'm just gonna go grab my guitar from the car." She says before heading out.

"I like her." My mom stops as she's walking towards the living room and says. I fake a smile before following after her. A few moments later Ashley comes back with her guitar.

"This is a new song I've been working on, so it's gonna be kinda raw. But it's quickly becoming one of my favorites." She smiles as she takes a seat across from my mother and I on the love seat. My mother smiles and waits in anticipation as Ashley strums her guitar. I don't know this tune so it isn't the song she played for me this morning.

She clears her throat as she prepares herself to sing the lyrics. I stare at her intently, as I've done every time I've seen her perform. Something about the way she strums her guitar. So much emotion.

"_A drop in the ocean. A change in weather, I was praying that you and me might end up together. It's like wishing for rain as I stand in the desert. But I'm holding you closer than most cause you are my heaven." _She sings the beginning of the song, her eyes fixed on mine. Is she singing to me? She smiles a little as she starts the next part.

"_I don't wanna waste the weekend, If you don't love me pretend. A few more hours then it's time to go. And as my train rolls down the east coast. I wonder how you keep warm. It's too late to cry. To broken to move on. And still I can't let you be. Most nights I hardly sleep. Don't take what you don't need from me. It's just a drop in the ocean, a change in weather, I was praying that you and me might end up together. It's like wishing for rain as I stand in the desert but I'm holding you closer than most cause you are my heaven." _

She strums her guitar, letting the music fill our ears as her eyes stray from mine to my mothers. I know she's trying not to look at me right now. The same way I'm trying not to look at her. I keep thinking how wrong this is. What would happened if my mom put two and two together right now. I've only known Ashley a couple of days but it feels like it's been forever.

"_Misplaced trust and old friends. Never counting regrets. By the grace of God, I do not rest at all. And New England as the leaves change. The last excuse I'll claim is that I was a girl who loved a woman like a little girl. And still I can't let you be. Most nights I hardly sleep. Don't take what you don't need...from me." _She pauses and glances at me. Stopping her fingers from strumming the guitar. She closes her eyes tightly, letting out a puff of air before starting again.

"_Its just a drop in the ocean, a change in the weather. I was praying that you and me might end up together. It's like wishing for rain as I stand in the desert. But I'm holding you closer than most, cause you are my... heaven doesn't seem far away anymore no no...heaven doesn't seem far away. Heaven doesn't seem far awaaaaay. Heaven seem far away anymore no no. Heaven doesn't seem far away." _ She continues to sing. Rifting her words and strumming her guitar. I've never seen her put so much emotion into her music.

"_A drop in the ocean, a change in the weather. I was praying that you and me might end up together. It's like wishing for rain as I stand in the desert but I'm holding you closer than most. Cause you are my heaven. You are my heaven." _She finishes, glancing at me one last time. I swallow thickly as my mom claps in approval. My eyes involuntarily close as Ashley's tongue snakes out and runs across her lips.

"Thank you." Her raspy voice breaks me out of my trans. I slowly open my eyes, trying with ever fiber of my being not to look at her. My mind and my eyes are clearly not on the same page because they immediately went to Ashley. She's biting the inside of her lip and looking down as my mother continues to clap.

"That was amazing, Ashley. Spencer wasn't that amazing?" She turns to me and asks, slapping me on the shoulder.

"Yeah." I reply distractedly. I can't seem to focus on anything but Ashley's face right now.

"Amazing." My mother says again, getting up from the couch. "You're really talented Ashley. You're going places for sure." She adds before walking back into the kitchen.

The silence was piercing. Almost like someone scratching their nails across a chalkboard. I don't know what to say... what to feel. Lexy is my best friend. But the connection between Ashley and I is obvious.

"Spencer..." Ashley starts. But I can't... I can't hear whatever she's about to say. I can't do this.

I shake my head and stand up. "Mom we're leaving." I shout into the kitchen, cutting her off.

"Okay honey." My mom says coming back out of the kitchen. She pulls me into a hug. "You all should come over for dinner. Your father will be home, I'm sure he wants to see you. And bring Lexy. I haven't seen her in forever. She hardly ever comes around when you're not here." She smiles as she pulls back from me and pulls Ashley into a hug. "It was very nice to meet you Ashley."

"And you, Paula." Ashley replies as they pull back.

"Bye mom." I say quickly before jetting out of the door. Not bothering to check if Ashley was behind me. I climb into Ashley's car and shut the door. Out the corner of my I see her exit the house, putting her guitar in the backseat before climbing into the driver seat.

"Spencer." She turns to me and says softly.

"We should probably go." I tell her, not turning to look at her.

"Spencer you can't-"

"Ashley." I plead. We don't have to do this. We don't have to talk about it. I like my best friends girlfriend more than I should. Whatever.

"Okay." She nods as she cranks up the car and puts it in drive.

I sigh inwardly. This really sucks.

–

Song Used- Ron Pope- A Drop In The Ocean


	9. California Girls

_I love you guys so much I'm posting this on my lunch break before even eating lunch lol. _

_Can't respond to everyone this time but here's a few responses._

All-Time-Low343- You're absolutely right! I did love them. Seriously though, you think I'm joking but I really want to marry you lol. But just a warning I'd make you talk to me 24/7. About the randomest things just to hear your accent lol.

Always-An-Eternity- Not wrong at all. When she's not in certain chapters... for the sake of the chapter I miss her too. lol.

Ohsoclever1- You peep that from Paula too? Lol. She straight tell Spencer to steal Ashley though!

Amy- LMAO I think it's just you... but that's cool. I won't disappoint you.

YouOutaKnow- Lol that's not really the direction of planning on going in but I like the idea haha.

Chillaxin1- I totally listened to that song last night and it's been on repeat ever since. Thanks.

DominoL- I love the oh right at the end. Lexy is such an afterthought right.

**Enjoy!**

* * *

**California Girls**

"I hate to point out the obvious..." Ashley starts, trying to break the awkward silence that has now filled her car. Neither of us have said a word since we left my parent's house. I don't really know what to say anymore. "Clay's um... well he's not...he's not really the same-"

"He's adopted." I chuckle a little as she stumbles over her words. Probably trying to find the right words to not sound like a complete asshole. "We took him in when I was four." I add.

"Ah!" She nods. "Okay. I was wondering there for a sec." She adds with a chuckle.

"Paula?" I turn and question with a raised brow. "Nah." I shake my head. "She'd never do that to my dad. She's as clean as they come."

"That's cool." She nods, keeping her eyes trained on the road. "Faithfulness in a relationship is important." She adds after a moment. I turn to look at her and I can see she's mentally berating herself.

"It is." I assure her. Because I do believe in being with one person when you're with someone. I would never...before Ashley the thought would have never crossed my mind to do any of the things I've been thinking. Lexy is my absolute best friend and I would never want to hurt her. Especially not in that way.

"So where exactly are we going?" Ashley chances a glance in my direction.

I pop up my shoulders once before saying, "No clue." She laughs and I smirk proud of myself. Then I feel a wave a guilt wash over me.

I shouldn't be happy that I make her smile and laugh, or the fact that my mother loves her. These should not be things I want.

But they are.

I sigh quietly and busy myself with my camera as I check the memory card. I faintly hear Ashley turn up the radio. Katy Perry's California girls leaking out through the speakers. I check my camera to make sure everything is how I want it. I easily get lost as I fuss over the buttons. I snap my head up as I hear Ashley chuckling to herself.

"What's so funny?" I ask with a raised brow. Her smile widens.

"You. I've been calling you for like ten minutes now and nothing."

I smile, embarrassed as I feel my cheeks get hot. I place my camera in my lap and slouch a little in my seat, as Ashley aimlessly drives around. I sigh, taking in the familiar streets. It feels really good to be home, I think as I stare out the window, when suddenly a thought dawns on me.

"Take a right at the next block." I say, sitting up in my seat.

"Ugh finally, I was about to say..." She pauses and turns to me. "Gas ain't cheap, Spencer."

I smile and shake my head before giving her instructions on where to go. I'm faintly aware that the farther we go, the more skeptical she's getting. We're in the suburbs now and the houses are getting bigger and bigger and with big houses, come big backyards. The bigger the house the more obnoxiously huge the backyard is likely to be.

"Spencer where the hell are we going?" She sounds a little nervous. It's cute.

"Trust me." She gives me a wary look and I flash a toothy smile. I hear sigh and drive on. "Okay, pull up over there." I point just ahead of us. She does so without hesitation.

Hmmm I like a girl who can take direction.

I immediately shake those thoughts from my head.

Lexy's girlfriend Spencer!

I really wish my brain would shut up sometimes.

Yes, yes I know.

Me and my stupid morals.

We get out of the car and Ashley easily follows me.

"So where are we exactly?"

"You know you ask a lot of questions." I say as I hold the camera up and take a couple of random shots to focus the lens.

"Well, I just need to make sure you're not trying to you know..." She says looking around, kicking up a little dirt with her left foot. "...kidnap me or something." She finishes.

I chuckle inwardly as I turn back to her and say, "Nah, I'm planning on doing that sometime next week." She laughs as I continue to try and get the right optic for my liking. The light is good today. The clicking with every shot that's taken is like music to my ears.

As we're walking down the street I finally remove my camera from my face to scope out a good location. I point towards a house that's the farthest from us and pick up a slight jog holding my camera firmly in my hand because if I dropped this I would die.

No, I'm serious my heart would stop and I would drop dead right here on this pavement.

Ashley jogs alongside of me as we head to a destination unknown to her. She's such a trooper, just following my lead even though she has no clue what I have in mind. I stop in front of the house and take a look around the quiet neighborhood. It's late afternoon on a Sunday, there's a good chance no one will be home.

Probably...

Maybe...

"Do you know the people that live here?" She asks as her eyes are scan the large house.

"Nope." I say easily.

Her eyes snap towards me. "Then what are we doing here?"

I don't bother to answer as I look on both sides of the street and dart up the front lawn. I smirk as I hear her hiss my name. I run towards the side of the house where the chain link fence is hidden by tall trees to add to the privacy and the décor. I hear footsteps quickly approaching and feel the chains rattle a little as Ashley crashes against the trees.

I hang my camera around my neck and get ready to climb.

"Spencer what the hell are you doing?!"

"Scouting..." I reply. "Duh." I add quickly. I settle between two of the trees and place my foot in one of the holes of the fence. I feel Ashley grab the back of my shirt.

"We are not doing this you hear me?" She looks panicked. It's a little funny. I watch as her eyes dance around making sure no one is around. No one is. This place is dead. A car has yet to pass by, no one is outside, and I haven't seen any movement inside this house…at least not yet.

"Come on Ashley! Where's your sense of adventure?" I hoist myself up and fasten my other foot in the fence. I look out from behind the tree and see Ashley running a nervous hand through her hair.

"Are you high?!" She asks in a harsh whisper.

I'm maintaining the same volume. I have no clue why she's whispering. We're not pulling off a heist here.

"Only on life." I giggle and I see her trying not to laugh. She palms her face and breathes out heavily.

I win.

"I can't believe I'm about to do this." See told you.

She moves between the other set of trees and I feel her grab the fence. We both start to climb, the bristles of the trees are soft enough that they're not leaving any scratches on our skin.

"What if they have a dog or something?" I hear her ask through a chuckle.

"If they do have a dog." I turn my head slightly to look at her. "I hope we don't land on it and kill it because it's probably the size of a rat." I say and she chuckles even more. "You know what they say, 'the bigger the house, the smaller the dog.'" I add.

"That's not a saying." She laughs harder, shaking her head at me.

"Oh." I reply with a shrug.

"What about surveillance?"

"You're doing the question thing again."

"Well you decided to do a break and enter type thing Spencer, so forgive me for not wanting to get arrested."

I snort at the hilarity of the statement.

"Technically we're not breaking in anywhere, we're still outside. So technically this is a break out!" She lets out an annoyed sigh as I turn and catch a glimpse of her face, just as we reach the top of the fence. Our bodies are well hidden by the trees.

Thank you trees.

"Spencer I don't know about this." She says as we peer into the backyard.

"What's life without a little risk?" My blue eyes lock with her brown and suddenly I forget we're hanging onto a fence about to sneak into someone's backyard. She licks her lips and I feel my knees weaken a little. I tighten my grasp on the fence so I don't fall back.

"Safe." She answers after a moment. Her eyes never leaving mine.

"Meh. You say safe, I say predictable." I look back into the yard and smile in amazement. This is exactly what I was looking for. Excited to get a better view I quickly swing my leg onto the other side of the fence and start my decent. I'd jump but my baby is around my neck. I don't want her to get injured.

I make it all the way to the bottom and look up. Ashley is still on the other side.

"Stop being a chicken Ashley and get your ass over here."

I stand with both hands on my hips. I hear her sigh and watch as she finally swings over. I can't help stare at her ass as she climbs down. I quickly avert my eyes, remembering who she belongs to. She jumps the last couple of feet and lands with a thud.

"Now what?" She asks.

"Now we explore." I walk through the yard as if I've been here millions of times before. I walk further into the yard only to turn around and see Ashley tiptoeing."Really?" I stop walking and say.

She stops and crosses her arms over her chest. "Shut up." She spits out quickly and stops further into the yard. I take this opportunity to take candid photos of Ashley as she looks around. I catch a great side profile of her and smile as the afternoon light hits her perfectly.

I walk up next to her and stop in our tracks as we take in the vastness of the yard.

"Whoa." We both say as we look around. There's a pool to our right, with a surrounding wall above ground made of glass. To our left a sitting area with a brick fire pit, obviously there's no fire since it's light out. Behind that another pool, this one lagoon shaped with a Jacuzzi in the middle, a stone path leads throughout the yard and my eyes follow it towards a discreet location.

I'll have to check that out.

"A trampoline!" Apparently someone isn't nervous anymore. Yeah that's Ashley running across the yard to jump on an in ground trampoline. It's my turn to hiss.

"Ashley get back here!" She's not listening. "At least do a tuck and roll. Be a bit more stealth."

I'm looking around to make sure the coast is clear. The act seems pretty useless to do now, since Ashley would have blown our cover with her freak out anyways. I don't know where anyone is but if no one is coming out of the house after hearing Ashley squeal excitedly as she jumps up and down on that trampoline then no one must be home for real.

What I wouldn't do for a slow motion super power right now.

Lexy's girlfriend.

…...

And I'm back.

I walk towards a jumping Ashley and try not to stare. I lift my camera and start snapping shots of her.

"Come on Spence get on this thing."

"Nope I'm good." I say as I drop down onto the grass and take more pictures of her jumping.

What?

It's art!

"Don't be a Debbie Downer."

"Says the girl who didn't even want to sneak in here anyway."

"What's life without a little risk?"

She's quoting me!

I said that!

No fair.

I blush as she winks at me and the grass tickling my legs has become extremely interesting. She stops bouncing and walks towards me. She extends her hand out and I grab it without hesitation. Every time our hands connect it feels like the most natural thing in the world. Like they were meant to connect.

She pulls me up and we're inches away from each other. I gulp and take a step back. Suddenly I'm finding it hard to breathe.

I remove my hand from her grasp and follow the stone path towards the hidden location I noticed earlier.

I hear Ashley following closely behind me. She clears her throat and I know she's trying to break the silence but right now I need to not hear her voice. It makes me dizzy. I think she can tell I don't want to talk at this moment, as she opts to remain quiet.

We follow the path and suddenly it's as if we're in a different land. A secret garden with a variety of flowers, fruit trees, and a couple of fountains appears before us. There are two levels with small stone steps to gain access to each.

My eyes dance around the yard as I imagine all the shots I could capture here. I watch Ashley walk up the small steps and I quickly lift up my camera. I instruct her to stop and she freezes in place. I smile behind my Nikon and pull it away from my face.

"Sit on the stairs." She does as she's told and she looks bashful as I snap the pictures. The lens snapping is the only sound we here. This place is completely tranquil.

"So why here?" She asks while she stands up and moves around the garden.

"Well it has to do with your band's name." I answer as I capture every motion. I capture the way she glides her hand over the water of the fountain, to the way she smells the flowers on the nearby bush, as she takes an orange from one of the trees. She finds a hammock nearby and she sits down lounging luxuriously.

"Mhm."

I think she's waiting for me to continue. I crouch down and keep clicking away.

"Well your band name is Serenity. It's like escape, there's not many places like this in LA, at least none that I've seen. I figured I'd find a serene place to capture who you guys really are." She smiles softly and I don't hesitate to snap a photo. I stop and let my camera dangle around my neck. I stand up and look around, turning my back to Ashley.

"Okay let me see these pictures."

I furrow my brows in confusion. "Uh no." I wrap my arms around my camera as she quickly comes at me. She wraps her arms around me and I wish I could freeze but all I do is melt into her. "Don't touch it. Don't touch it!" I squeal as she tries to pry my arms open to grab my camera.

"Come on Spence you have to let me see, these are pictures of me."

"Just trust my instinct." Well she doesn't trust my instinct as her arms wrap tighter around me and I fall deeper into her. I'm not fighting anymore. I've fallen into a trance, realizing our close proximity. I think she's realized it too. She's slowing down her movements and now she's just holding me.

We've both forgotten about the camera and we're just standing in the middle of this tranquil garden losing ourselves in one another. I hear as she breaths me in deep, the tip of her nose brushing against my cheek as I slowly turn to look at her.

This is the closest we've ever been.

I don't remember who she belongs to anymore.

I just know I want her to belong to me.

The tip of my nose bumps against hers and both our eyes flutter shut. As quickly as they close they open again as my obnoxious phone rings breaking our moment.

Her hands drop from my sides and I answer the call.

"Hello?"

"Hey Spence how's it going?" I close my eyes and my heart pangs.

"Hey Lex." At the sound of her name Ashley quickly backs away and leaves the garden. Suddenly our serene location is polluted with guilt.

"How's the hunt going? Did you guys find a place yet?" Lexy asks, voice full of excitement. The guilt is all too much.

"Uh yeah." I tell her as I pack walk slowly out of the garden, looking around for Ashley. I don't see her anywhere.

"That's great!" Lexy practically screams.

"Well not really."

"What?" She questions. "Why not, I don't get it." She says, confusion evident in her tone.

"Well we kinda broke into someone's back yard. Not really the ideal way to hold a photo shoot but-"

"Wait what?" Lexy questions through chuckles. "How'd you manage to get Ashley to do that? She's terrified of being arrested." Lexy continues to chuckle. I try my best to laugh along with her, to not let on that everything's not okay right now. I continue to walk out the yard, back to the fence Ashley and I had climbed over to get in. Still no Ashley, so I climb back over.

"I'm not really sure." I reply.

"Well, that's really something Spence. Ashley hardly ever does anything adventurous. Are you guys about done? I was thinking we could maybe go to a movie and get some dinner when I get off work."

"Sure." I tell her as I hop down off the fence. "Sounds good, Lex." I turn and see Ashley almost at the car.

"Okay." Lexy replies excitedly. "Well, I gotta get back to work. I'll see you guys later. Tell Ashley about dinner." She says rushing off the phone. I'm barely able to get out an okay before she hangs up. I walk the distance back to the car, Ashley is already waiting inside. I get in the passenger seat and shut the door. We both sit in the car, not saying a word, not looking at each other. The silence is killing me. "Lexy wants to go to din-"

"What are we doing?" Ashley cuts me off, turning slightly to look at me.

"I don't..." I shake my head and close my eyes. "I don't know." I finally get out.

"Lexy..." She trails off. She doesn't even have to finish her sentence for me to understand.

"I know." I nod, opening my eyes to look at her. She obviously is conflicted. I don't want her to feel like she needs to choose. She shakes her head and opens her mouth to speak. "I know." I tell her again. We stare at each other momentarily before she closes her eyes, sighing as she cranks the car and puts it in drive. She opens her eyes and glances at me one more time, pain obvious in them, as we head back to the house.

Back to her girlfriend.

My best friend...

–

Song Used- Katy Perry- California Girls


	10. Tonight Tonight

_A/N: Sigh...I have no words for how amazing you guys are. It's so awesome that everyone is enjoying this as much as I did writing it. I wanna give another shout out to my Muse aaaand My Beta! :)_

Ohsoclever1: See you're the reason I write. You notice the small things and you aren't afraid to call me out on things you don't like. This was by far my favorite story to write. For several different reasons. It's so amazing that you have read all my stories. I still can't believe that. No it's not wrong to not care about Lexy's relationship. We are all Spashley Shippers here! lol

TheDWall: They kill Ashley and Spencer too trust me!

SoNfan227: Just for you.

All-Time-Low343- Sigh... that's all I got for you lol. Oh and a ring of course..

guest: Awesome! Glad to hear that.

Chillaxin1: So when does happen, you guys will really love it...at least I hope lol. I like it when stories really build the tension. It makes for a heck of a chapter when it does happen.

YouOutaKnow: Awwww noooo don't cry. :( I'm sorry. How you know me so well lol.

Ambeezy: You really think so? I've never been in that situation either thank goodness. How do you think the getting caught will happen? lol in the act hmmm?

sonfanatic: Things are pretty intense huh. Here's another long one for you :)

tam24: I posted while at work and you read while you're at work. Smh. We're both horrible lol.

jay: Don't die! Here's the next chapter. lol

BeautyLikeFrozenCathedrals21: Not boring just predictable I guess... not sure. Just not the direction this fic will go lol. I guess a distraction would probably be the right thing to do in this situation though.

IhEaRtSpAsHlEy: lol well because you asked so nicely haha.

DominoL: I'm not sure the guilt will ever go away.

irishinkjunkie1024: woot woot! You love it, you love it! Happy dance. lol. Aw you guys are pumping up my ego so big that I won't be able to fit my head in my room to write after while lol. I'm really happy that you're enjoying this so far.

odunit: lol doesn't she though!

* * *

**Tonight, Tonight**

"Ashley maybe we should talk about this." I tell her as we walk into the house. She didn't say a single word on the ride over here and all I want is to know what's going on inside her head.

She stops abruptly, almost causing me to bump into her.

She sighs as she turns to face me. Shaking her head she says, "Spencer we don't have to talk about it or-"

"Talk about what?" Lexy comes from the other room and says. Ashley's entire demeanor changes in the blink of an eye. Suddenly she's not playing conflicted girlfriend of my best friend, her roles have changed and now she's the loving girlfriend. I let out a small sigh and she pulls Lexy into a hug.

"What are you doing here?" She asks, her tone happy again. Lexy embraces her but keeps her eyes trained on me.

"I got off work early. "She says, still looking at me. I drop my head, suddenly finding the apartment floor interesting. "I wanted to surprise you guys." I glance up and see her pulling back from Ashley. She glances at Ashley then back to me.

"That's amazing. I'm so glad you're here." Ashley leans forward and whispers in her ear. "I missed you." She adds in a seductive tone. Well if I wasn't uncomfortable before...

"What we you guys talking about when you came in?" Lexy pulls back, asking her girlfriend. "It sounded serious." Ashley turns and looks at me, pleading for my help.

"Oh." I perk up, trying to play it off. "Well, we we're just talking about the photo shoot. Ashley was a little upset at the stunt I pulled and I was just trying to apologize." I tell her as I close my eyes, hoping she would buy my bullshit.

When I open my eyes I see Lexy glance at me then back at Ashley. If the look on Ashley's face doesn't give us away then the look on mine probably will. We both look guilty as hell and as much as I'd like to say that what happened between Ashley and I, the almost...whatever, was innocent; but I know that it wasn't. I know that whatever may or may not have happened in that garden, I wanted to happen. A smile appears at her lips before she says. "I don't know how you got her to do any of that stuff in the first place." She chuckles out. I let out a sigh of relief and from the corner of my eyes I see Ashley do the same.

"I'm adventurous." Ashley says, scoffing at the insinuation her girlfriend was throwing out.

Lexy lets out one small chuckle before turning to her girlfriend and kissing her. "Sure, sure baby." She says patting Ashley's shoulder. I try to laugh to get myself out of whatever this mood I'm in is, but it's not working. "You two go and get ready, the movie starts in-"

"Oh crap." I shake my head, cutting Lexy off.

"What is it?" She turns to me and asks.

"I totally forgot that I told my mom we'd come over for dinner. You know how she is Lex, when I promise her something if I don't do it she goes-"

"Ape shit on your ass. Got it." Lexy finishes my sentence.

"I'm sorry. I totally spaced on that."

"It's cool." Lexy waves me off. "I haven't seen mama and papa Carlin for a few months anyways." She shrugs and turns back towards the stairs.

"What about the movie?" Ashley questions her girlfriend.

"We'll go another day." Lexy throws over her shoulder as she climbs the stairs. "You both should still go get dressed though, you know how your mom is about tardiness Spencer."

"Right." I yell back up to her. I turn and look at Ashley one last time, she drops her head causing me to sigh, before I head into the spare bedroom to change.

–

"Oh my God, I love this song." Lexy says as she turns up the Hot Chelle Rae song on the radio.

"_It's been a really really messed up week. Seven days of torture, seven days of bitter."_ Lexy bounces in the passenger seat as she sings along to the song. _"And my girlfriend went and cheated on me. She's a California dime but it's time for me to quit her." _Ashley glances back at me through the rear view mirror and the irony of this song is too much for me right now. I need to fix my mood because my mom will totally realize somethings up. She's perceptive like that. So I decide the only way to change my mood is to have a little fun, so I sing along with Lexy.

"_La-la-la." _I bolt out. I'm no Ashley, but I'm not bad either.

"_Whatever." _Lexy sings in reply.

"_La-la-la." _I sing.

"_It doesn't matter." _Lexy counters.

"_La-la-la." _I sing again.

"_Oh well." _Lexy chuckles as she sings.

"_La-la-la." _I say again before we both yell out the chorus.

"_We're going at it tonight, tonight. There's a party on the roof top, top of the world." _We sing in unison. I can see the corners of Ashley's lip turned up and I know she's smiling. _"Tonight, tonight and we're dancing on the edge of the Hollywood sign. I don't know if I'll make it. But watch how good I'll fake it. It's alright, alright. Tonight, tonight."_ Lexy stays turned towards me as the next verse comes on and we sing it together._ "I woke up with a strange tattoo. Not sure how I got it, not a dollar in my pocket. And it kinda looks just like you. Mixed with Zack Galifianakis."_

"_La-la-la." _I sing as Lexy points to me, signaling it's my turn.

I point back to her as she sings,_ "Whatever."_

"We're here!" Ashley shouts over the music, breaking Lexy and I from our karaoke competition. Boo, I was actually having fun.

"But my favorite part is coming up." Lexy whines as Ashley turns off the car.

"I'm sure they'll play that song at least fifty more times tonight." Ashley chuckles at her girlfriend and kisses away her pout, I have to turn away. "We don't want to keep Paula waiting do we?"

"Fine." Lexy says throwing her arms over her chest. Ashley shakes her head before getting out of the car and running around to open Lexy's door. Really? Could she get anymore perfect? I go to open my door after letting out of deep sigh at how pathetic I am, when Ashley quickly opens it for me.

"Isn't she such a gentleman?" Lexy turns to me and smiles as I get out of the car.

"The gentlest." I reply, causing them both to chuckle.

"I was just about to call the Calvary." We turn and see my mother standing in the doorway. I sigh and shake my head. Could this woman be anymore embarrassing? "Get in here before dinner gets cold." She yells, waving her hand at us.

We're like two seconds late.

"She's not serious, she wasn't gonna-"

"Oh yes she was." Lexy and I nod and say in unison. Never be late for a dinner my mom invites you to, she will not hesitate to call the cops and report you missing.

"Oh." Ashley says as we walk towards the house.

"Hey dad." I pull my dad into a hug as we enter the house.

"Hey pumpkin." He replies, squeezing me tightly. I missed my dad. Growing up, him and I were always the closest but in my sophomore year of high school he got this job as the director of a Children's Center and after that I barely saw him. He was always traveling; going to conferences and different centers across the country. We went from hanging out everyday to being lucky if we even got to say goodnight to one another. I guess after that, the older I got the more I realized that things just weren't the same between us. I was no longer daddy's little girl.

"Mom are you on call tonight?" I ask her as we all walk into the kitchen. Wow, something smells delicious.

"Yeah but I told them to only call me if there was a serious emergency." She replies.

"Mom it's the emergency room. Everyone that comes in is having an emergency." I chuckle popping a grape in my mouth as I hop in the counter.

"What'd I tell you about my counter?" She says, shoo'ing me off of it. "And don't eat anymore of that, you're gonna ruin your appetite."

I give her an are you serious face. "Mom is was a grape." I say hopping off the counter. "Not a double chocolate chip cookie." I add and hear my dad, Lexy and Ashley chuckle.

My mother narrows her eyes and me and says, "There's no difference." I just shake my head at her. I'm not gonna argue with Paula. Nope, no way.

"Hello Lexy dear." My mom puts whatever she just pulled out of the oven on top of the stove and greets my best friend with a hug and kiss on her left cheek.

"Hey mama Carlin." Lexy chuckles out.

"What have I told you about that!" My mom chastises her.

"Sorry Paula." Lexy drops her head and mumbles out. My dad laughs and shakes his head at my mother. She hates when anyone calls her by her last name. She said it makes her feel so old and since she doesn't have any grandchildren yet then she's no where near old enough for that.

"And Ashley my dear, good to see you again." She pulls Ashley into a hug, kissing her right cheek.

"Hello Paula." Ashley chuckles.

"Where's Glen and Clay?" I question as I take a seat at the table. Lexy and Ashley following suit. My father walks over and kissing my mom on the head before he takes a grape from the bowl and pops it in his mouth. See, like father like daughter. My mother slaps his hand when he reaches for another one before turning to me.

"You know those boys." She waves a hand before turning back to the stove to check if whatever else she had in there was done.

"What?" I throw my hands up. "And no Calvary for them?" I question with a raised brow.

"They both called." She turns back to me and says with narrowed eyes.

"Seriously mom, two seconds late." I shake my head and roll my eyes.

"A lot can happen in two seconds, Spencer." She says in a serious tone. A ding sounds signaling that whatever she had in the stove was done and suddenly her face and demeanor changes. She's perky Paula again. "Dinners Ready!" She practically shouts. All I can do is sigh.

–

"Once again, the food was amazing Paula. I feel like I haven't had a home cooked meal in forever." Ashley says, leaning back in her chair, looking as though she may burst at any moment. She throws her arm around Lexy's chair as my mom thanks her for the compliment.

"Your parent's don't cook?" My mom inquires. Suddenly Ashley is different. There's an acute sadness in her eyes. When she doesn't reply right away, I think I already know what's coming.

Lexy sits up, clearing her throat. "Ashley doesn't really get along with her parents." Lexy answers for Ashley.

"Oh, I'm so sorry to hear that." My mom and dad say in unison. Geez they make it sound like her parent's are dead or something. But how come I didn't know that? Well, besides the fact that I've only known her two days. I guess I've spent so much time pining after her I haven't really spent enough time getting to actually know her.

"It's okay." Ashley shrugs and shakes her head. Clearly wanting to be over this subject. I wonder the story behind that.

"Arthur did I forget to tell you what an amazing musician Ashley here is." My mother turns to my father and says excitedly.

"Oh is that right?" My father turns to Ashley and asks.

"Yes sir." Ashley nods. "Well I'm a musician," She chuckles. "I don't know about the amazing part."

"Non sense." Paula waves her off. "Oh Arthur." She turns back to my dad and says, animatedly waving her hands as she speaks. "She played this song for Spencer and I earlier, it was magnificent. Won't you play it again, dear?"

"Mom!" I whine. "She's not a circus animal that you can just get to do tricks whenever you feel like it." I shake my head.

"I wasn't implying that Spencer dear." My mother turns to me with a smile and says. She's knows exactly what she's doing right now and I don't appreciate it. "I was just simply asking Ashley if she wouldn't mind singing us a couple of songs."

"How'd it go from one to a couple?" I half shout. "No." I stand up from my chair. "This isn't happening right now." I tell my mom, waving a finger at her. "I know what you're doing and we're not gonna be apart of it." I tell her and she chuckles. What's so funny?

"Spencer I'm not doing anything I was just asking-"

"No." I cut her off. "We stayed here longer than we were supposed to earlier but not tonight mom, we really need to go."

"Oh come on honey can't you guys-"

"Nope." I shake my head.

"But I have dese-"

"No mom." I tell her again. "We have a movie to get to, right Lexy?" I turn to my best friend with a hand out, signaling her to tell my mom everything I'm saying is true. Whether it is or not.

"Uh." Lexy clears her throat, sitting up with a smile on her face. "It's true Paula, we did have plans tonight." She nods, elbowing Ashley in the rib slightly when my mom turns her attention towards her.

"Ashley I know you wouldn't mind staying a little longer right?" My mom asks in a voice that she only brings out when she's trying to get her way. Stand strong Ashley. Stand strong.

"Um...well...yeah...uh." Ashley trips over her words. I stifle a laugh. "We um..." She clears her throat and begins again as my mom looks on in anticipation of her answer. I glance at my dad and see he's just amused with this whole situation. He's used to my mom's antics by now. "We did have plans." Ashley finally gets out. My mom drops her head. "But," Ashley starts again when she sees my mother's disappointed demeanor. No buts Ashley. Don't do it. Don't do it! "We could stay for dessert." She adds. I just drop my head. Knowing my mom has won. I turn to Ashley and she gives me an apologetic shrug.

"Excellent." My mother perks up quickly. "I'll go get the Apple Pie and Ice Cream." She smiles at the three of us as her and my dad clear the table.

"You had to go and say but...didn't cha?" I turn to Ashley and say as I sit back down in my chair.

"Well her disappointed face was very convincing." Ashley shrugs as Lexy chuckles.

"It's fine, Spence really. I don't mind hanging out with your folks for the rest of the night." Lexy speaks up.

"Well I do." I roll my eyes.

–

Just as I suspected the rest of the night was hell.

Okay I'm being dramatic, it wasn't hell but it wasn't exactly heaven either.

I had to sit and watch Lexy and Ashley cuddle up to each other as my mom told embarrassing stories about me and Lexy's childhood. She laughed at the stories, I on the other hand, cringed and ducked my head.

How embarrassing are parents? Is that like some kind of law or something? A mandatory thing for parents?

After dessert and embarrassing stories came... you guessed it, the dreaded photo album. What's with a parent's need to show a photo of their children in the bath tub. What's that all about? I think there should be some kind of ban on showing a photo like that. It should constitute as child endangerment or something.

Okay I know I'm being ridiculous but so is my mom. I'm not sure this night could get any worse. When everything became too much I decided to head outside for some fresh air. I grabbed my camera from Ashley's car and looked over the pictures I'd taken of her earlier. I couldn't help but be amazed at how great they turned out. But photography is always easy when you have a subject like Ashley to take pictures of.

"Can I see?" Ashley comes out of the house and takes a seat next to me. I sigh before handing her the camera. I normally don't let anyone see my camera. My completed work, yes... But my camera...never.

"Oh wow, these are amazing." Ashley breathes out as she clicks to the next picture. I smile at the irony of that statement. "And I'm not just saying that because they're pictures of me." She adds, turning to look at me with a smile.

I shrug and nod, "It kinda is though." I chuckle.

"Screw you, Spence." She bumps shoulders with me and I inhale sharply at the nickname she'd given me. "I'm sorry I didn't mean to-"

"No it's okay." I shake my head, popping my shoulders up and down briefly. "I think we're good enough friends to start the nick name phase." I add with a smile. She smiles at me before turning back to my camera. She finishes looking at the rest of the pictures from her impromptu photo shoot, seemingly amazed with each click the next button. When all her photo shoot pictures were done she hit next and I see a picture of Carmen that I took ages ago.

"That's it." I tell her, trying to grab the camera back. She uses her left hand to ward me off.

"Is this Carmen?" She questions, looking at the picture as she continues to hold the camera away from me.

"Yes." I reply quickly. I stand up to get more leverage. After a small struggle I'm finally able to get my camera from her. I sit back down, staring at the picture of my ex briefly before shutting my camera off.

"She's pretty." Ashley says after a moment.

"Yeah." I reply softly, feeling awkward.

"Stupid." Ashley adds after a moment. "But pretty nonetheless." She says and I can't help the smile that appears at my lips. My smile turns into a light chuckle and she joins in with me. After a moment we both sigh out of out laughter.

"I'm sorry that this is happening." I say after a couple of minutes.

"What exactly is happening?" She turns to me and asks. Her eyes begging for me to say what she's feeling.

I close my eyes briefly, ingraining her face into my memory bank. I swallow before licking my lips. When I open my eyes I feel like Ashley has moved a foot closer to me. Either that or outside is shrinking. "This." I breathe out. "Me..." I pause and swallow again. "...wanting you." I add after a moment.

She licks her lips before taking her bottom one between her teeth. "Wanted." She breathes out before her lips curl into a smile.

I'm not sure I understand. But before I can ask her what she means, someone opens the front door. Ashley immediately shoots back away from me.

"Hey girls." My mother says, stepping on the front porch with us. Ashley and I both stand up from the steps. "Lexy is looking for you, Ashley." My mom tells her. She nods, turning and giving me one last look before heading back into the house. I turn to do the same when my moms hand on my arm stops me. "What are you doing Spencer?" She asks in a concerned tone. I told you, my mom has always been very perceptive. And although Lexy might be completely oblivious to the things going on around her, I know my mom isn't. And I know what she's asking me right now.

"I don't know." I answer honestly. She sighs before motioning me to sit down on the swing to her right. We both walk over and take a seat.

"When I was about fifteen, I was best friends with a girl named Joanna." She starts her story as I kick off, lightly swinging us. "Joanna had a boyfriend and I didn't at the time. At first it was nothing. Innocent touches, flirting...nothing serious. But over time feelings developed and we couldn't fight them anymore. I didn't wanna hurt Jo, she was my very best friend." My mother pauses, smiling at the memory. "But I knew what I was feeling and I knew that it wasn't just gonna go away. No matter how hard I fought for it to."

"What happened?" I ask, genuinely interested in her answer.

"I married him." She smiles.

"Dad was your best friends boyfriend and you stole him away?" I question with wide eyes.

"Yeah." She nods and gives me a conflicted smile.

"What happened to you and your friend?" I ask, hopeful that she isn't gonna say what I think she is.

"It's been over twenty-five years." My mother shakes her head and sighs. "She hasn't spoken to me since." I drop my head in my hands, knowing that whatever is going on between Ashley and I can't possibly end well. "I'm not telling you this to scare you off Spencer honey. I'm telling you this to make you think. Not everyone's the same so Lexy may not react in the same manner as Jo. But you have to know there's a possibility she might. And then consider whether you're willing to give up that friendship. You and Lexy have been inseparable since birth. Is Ashley really worth maybe losing her as a friend?" She asks, patting me on my knee as she gets up from the swing. "Just think about it." She adds before walking off into the house. I sigh and shake my head. My moms completely right.

Is having Ashley in the ways I truly want her really worth losing Lexy?

–

Song used- Hot Chelle Rae- Tonight, Tonight


	11. Wanted

Can't FoF this time cause I'm rushing. But I will next time. Thanks again for all the amazing comments everyone. They keep me smiling so hard. I love each and everyone one of you. This one is pretty short compared to the previous three but I promise to get a new one up quickly.

Oh good catch Ambeezy on the Hunter Hayes song. :) And yes All-Time-Low343 that would make my life lol

* * *

**Wanted**

"Spencer what are you doing outside?" Lexy comes from the house and asks.

I shrug. "I needed air. My mom you know." I add, thumbing a finger towards the house.

She chuckles and nods. "That's why I think my next plan is so amazingly genius." She smiles that patented Lexy smile and I already know what's coming next.

"Lexy no." I shake my head. "I am not staying at your apartment with you and your girlfriend again." I tell her in a hushed tone.

"What? Why not Spence?" She whines.

"Well for one you two need your privacy, I don't wanna-"

"It's fine." She waves me off. "Most of the time I'm at work anyways. My boss is a real asshole, she makes me work whenever she can legally get away with it." Lexy adds with an eye roll.

"Lexy I don't-"

"Please." She pouts. I sigh and shake my head at her.

"Lexy don't use the pout on me."

"Is it working?" She questions with a raised brow.

I sigh again, "Doesn't it always."

"Yay!" She jumps up from the swing. "You're gonna stay over the whole summer right?" She asks in a hopeful tone.

"Well Madison's coming down here with her boyfriend and I-"

"Ugh." She groans as she starts to walk away.

"Don't walk away when I'm talking to you woman." I yell after her.

"Well you started to bore me to death with tales of your other lover." She turns back to me and says. I can't help but laugh at her.

"You two are mess. There's plenty of room in my heart for the both of you."

"Right." Lexy nods, but clearly she's not buying it.

_'Well I don't like, living under your spotlight.' _ Ugh! Does this chick ever stop! I quickly press ignore to Carmen's call.

"Hey guys." Ashley comes out the house. Lexy and I both turn to face her. "Spence your mom convinced me to do a song." She turns to me and says.

"Spence?" Lexy glances back and forth between Ashley and I. "We're on a nickname basis already?" She questions with a raised brow. "I guess you two had fun today." She adds after a moment.

"Slip of the tongue." Ashley says quickly.

Nice.

I roll my eyes as I get up from the swing. "I'm going inside." I tell the couple, brushing past Ashley. I hear her tell Lexy that she's going to get her guitar, Lexy says an okay, then I hear the unmistakable sound of lips moving against each other. I close my eyes and steady myself against the couch to keep myself from running away.

It officially sucks to be me.

"So the whole summer then?" Lexy comes in the house and says as she walks past me towards the den.

"Sure, Lex." I nod, just wanting this conversation to be over.

"Yay!" Lexy squeals, clapping her hands together. I shake my head as I follow her into the den where my mom and dad are already waiting. A few minutes later Ashley comes in with her guitar.

"Um..." She says as she sits down across from us on a stool. "This is a new song I've been working on." When is she ever not writing? "It's called 'Wanted'." She adds, glancing at me briefly enough that Lexy doesn't catch it. But my mom does before she looks at me with narrowed eyes. I sigh as she begins to strum her guitar. _"You know I'd fall apart without you. I don't how you do what you do. Cause everything that don't make sense about me. Make sense when I'm with you. Like everything that's green girl I need you. But its more than one and one makes two. Put aside the math and the logic... of it. You gotta know you're wanted too." _Escapes her lips and it takes everything in me to not burst into tears. I'm being such a lesbian right now but I don't even care. I glance at Lexy, the smile on her face tells me she has no idea. She's always been the doey eyed girl that sees the best in people. And Ashley and I... her girlfriend and best friend are taking advantage of that.

Which makes me feel even worse about all this. Ashley takes in a deep breath before starting the chorus.

"_Cause I wanna wrap you up, I wanna kiss your lips. I wanna make you feel wanted. I wanna call you mine. Wanna hold your hand forever. And never let you forget it. Yeah I, wanna make you feel wanted." _She glances up and I have to look away. Lexy's sitting right next to me so every time she looks in this direction Lexy will assume she's looking at her.

But I know.

When she randomly yelled Wanted outside... she was naming her song. This song. The song she's now singing to me in front of my parents...in front of Lexy.

"_Anyone can tell you you're pretty." _She smiles before continuing. _"And you get that all the time. I know you do. But your beauty's deeper than the make up and I wanna show you what I see tonight. When I wrap you up, when I kiss your lips. I, wanna make you feel wanted. And I wanna call you mine, wanna hold your hand forever, and never let you forget._ _Cause baby I wanna make you feel wanted." _

She strums her guitar more viciously as she goes into the bridge.

"_As good as you make me feel, I wanna make you feel better. I wanna make you feel better. Better than your fairy-tales, better than your best dreams. You're more than everything I need. You're all I ever wanted." _She glances up again, singing the next part softly. _"And all I ever wanted. And I just wanna wrap you up, wanna kiss your lips I, I wanna make you feel wanted. And I wanna call you mine, wanna hold your hand forever and never let you forget it. I wanna make you feel wanted. Baby I wanna make you feel wanted. You'll always be wanted." _She strums the last chord, slowly raising her head from her guitar.

"Wow." Lexy breathes out then smiles. "That was amazing baby." She gets up and kisses her. Ashley returning it. My mom looks at me as I have to look away.

"That was really amazing, Ashley." My mom says, breaking Ashley and Lexy's kiss. I internally thank her.

"Thank you, Paula." Ashley smiles.

"You have a n amazing gift." My dad speaks up. "Don't waste it." He smiles as he gets up. "Well I have an early day tomorrow so I'm gonna head to bed." He adds, walking over and kissing me on the forehead. "Goodnight all." He waves goodnight to us.

"I'll be up in a minute honey." My mom yells after him.

"Spencer..." Ashley says softly, making me turn to look at her. Her arm is wrapped around Lexy's waist and they're both looking at me. "What'd you think?" She asks, barely audible. My mom stands and turns to me.

"It was amazing." I nod and smile.

"Right." Lexy says cheerfully, breaking our staring contest.

"You're in a band right?" My mom asks, stepping in front of Ashley, blocking my view. Gotta love my mom, I know she can sense my pain right now.

"Yeah." I hear Ashley say.

"An awesome band." Lexy chimes in. My mother chuckles, turning her attention back to Ashley.

"And you guys aren't signed to any label right?"

"No." My mother moves aside and I see Ashley shaking her head.

"Well I have this friend. He knows a guy that can probably get you guys an audition with Domino Records."

"What, really?" Ashley stands, practically knocking Lexy out of the way.

I really love how into music she is. It's one of my favorite qualities about her.

"Mhm." My mom nods then turns to look at me. "I'll give him a call tomorrow and see if he can set something up."

"Oh my God, you have no idea how amazing that would be." Ashley replies excitedly.

"Okay then." My mom smiles, turned back to Ashley. "Well, since I haven't been called in yet I'm assuming all the really injured patients are waiting until I fall asleep to come into the ER, so I'm gonna head to bed. Goodnight all." She says, kissing Ashley and Lexy on their cheeks before walking over to me and doing the same. "It was a beautiful song, Spencer." She whispers in my ear before pulling back. I nod as she leaves.

"You guys ready?" Lexy asks, breaking me from my thoughts.

"What?" Ashley asks confused.

"Oh, I meant to tell you babe. Spencer's gonna stay with us for the rest of the summer. I mean she's gonna be over every day anyways." Lexy shrugs. "She might as well just spend the nights there too." She adds with a smile, kissing Ashley on the cheek. "That's cool right?" She asks, scanning Ashley's face. Ashley looks at me, seeing if I would give her a sign to say no, it's not fine.

"Of course." She smiles, turning to Lexy. "Why wouldn't it be?" Her eyes bounce around the room, landing everywhere but on me. Lexy kisses her again.

"I'm gonna go wait in the car." She says thumbing towards the door. "I'll take this." She tells her, grabbing Ashley's guitar. "You wanna help Spence with her suitcases?"

"Sure." Ashley nods.

"K. I'll be in the car." She smiles and kisses her again before leaving.

We both watch as Lexy walks out the front door before I move closer to her and hit her on the arm. "What were thinking singing that song in front of-"

"I know." She cuts me off. "Spencer I don't know what this is, but I know that-"

"No." I cut her off, shaking my head. "No, we're not doing this. I won't be that person. I will not break my best friends heart. I won't." I tell her again before walking away. I grab my suitcases out my room, the one I should be staying in.

"Here, lemmy help you." Ashley tries to take the suitcase from my right hand.

"I got it." I tell her, brushing past her and out the house to the car.

"I thought I told her to help you." Lexy says when she says me walking towards the car with both suitcases and Ashley with none.

"I had it." I smile at my friend. She leans over, popping the trunk on Ashley's Honda Civic. I put my suitcases in the trunk. Remembering my camera, I mumble a be right back, before quickly running on the porch and grabbing it off the swing.

"We ready?" Lexy smiles when I get back to the car.

"Yeah." I nod, getting into the car. Ashley cranks the car, putting it in drive and pulling away.

The entire ride home her eyes were fixed on me in the rear view mirror.

–

Song Used- Hunter Hayes- Wanted


	12. I Knew You Were Trouble

My gf says I'm addicted to posting... you agree? lol. Thanks for all the amazing reviews, I was smiling like an idiot with each one. Let me know your thoughts about this chapter. :)

* * *

Tam24: I only just recently found Hunter but I quickly fell in love with his music.

Amy: Aw! You're making me blush here. I'm glad you think so.

Annais81: Lol that's sweet that you were gonna review but got so caught up in the story that you couldn't wait for the next chapter. Jetlag sounds about right. Just get tons of sleep. Your body will correct itself. I think that when and if it does happen between them, if Ashley and Lexy are still together... it still won't seem so much as cheating. what do you think? you think it's possible? I really love Paula... she totally gets better as the story goes on btw.

melirufus: I'll see what I can do :)

googoo4u: I've missed you the past couple of chapters I think. Glad you're back. Lol you and Spencer share that thought haha. Lashley! NOPE!

Ohsoclver1: I didn't I think it just didn't pop up until you refreshed your browser or something lol. Idk, probably as the story goes on she'll be thinking like that when she kisses her lol.

Ambeezy: Doesn't though! I listen to whatever song is in the chapter or the chapter title while I'm writing it and for some reason it always makes the flow of the chapter sooooo much better it's crazy.

addictedtosmallville: Me too! Hunter is the best!

sonfanatic: Ashley seems to always have the perfect song for the mood doesn't she?

Wolfie32: I don't even think Lexy notices what she's doing either like come on! I feel like it's so obvious but Lexy is so trusting that I guess she would never even expect it.

DominoL: LOL that was funny. You mad at Lexy but she had Ashley first and Spencer wouldn't even know Ashley if it weren't for Lexy probably lol. Like the time on the plane really would have been the last time they saw each other.

Chillaxin1: Someone has to get hurt though... :(

SoNFan1604: Two more chapters huh... we'll see hehe

odunit: Of course! Lol

* * *

**I Knew You Were Trouble**

I drag my suitcases into Lexy's apartment and trudge towards the spare room that I'll be occupying for the summer. My load becomes a little lighter as Ashley takes one of the suitcases from my hands and carries it in the rest of the way.

I really love slash hate how amazing she is. She's making it really hard to be mad at her. Opening doors, carrying bags, I mean honestly! Who does that?

"I can carry my own bag Ashley, it's fine."

"I'm sure you can." She answers with a smile as she handles the bag with ease.

I see her bicep clench as she tightens her grip on the handle, she gently kicks the door open and places my bag against the wall. I drag my feet into the room, dropping my other suitcase at the door and place my camera on the nearby dresser. I turn to see that she's still standing there. I look around and try to figure out just what to say.

This awkward thing really has to stop.

"You guys wanna watch a movie since it's still a little early?"

Thank you Lexy.

"Sure sounds great." I speak up quickly out of relief and my best friend takes it as excitement.

I don't really want to see them cuddle on the couch watching a movie but my options are looking pretty slim right now.

Lexy nods once and bounces out of the room. She screams something along the lines of s'mores and both Ashley and my eyes shoot open as we yell at Lexy.

"No s'mores!" We both bolt out of the room in attempt to stop her.

Well things are exactly as I pictured. Lexy is buried in Ashley's arms and I'm on the other side of my best friend trying to keep my eyes on the screen while they steal kisses between scenes.

If she invited me to stay to watch her make out with her girlfriend, that shit's not flying with me. I shift in my seat as my phone goes off. My eyes shut in defeat because I know who's on the other line without having to check.

I'm in so much trouble.

I excuse myself, but I don't even think they notice me leaving.

Ugh couples.

I answer the call and rush towards my room. I flinch as I hear her yell through the phone in Spanish.

"Madison I'm sorry!"

"You had me waiting all day! I do not wait Spencer it's not in my DNA."

"It's not!" I laugh as I hear Aiden shout in the background then cry in pain. Madison no doubt slapped him for butting into the conversation.

"Go read a book or something it's time for me to have my fill of Spencer." She shoo's away her boyfriend. I smirk then quickly frown as I realize how much I miss them.

Pouts all around.

"Madison be nice."

"You are in no position to be giving orders missy. Now start talking." I drop onto the bed and get comfortable, as I smile at her vivacious attitude. I started from the very beginning per her request as I replay the scene on the airplane. She awes at the mention of Ashley grabbing my hand for support and I try not to roll my eyes. I then talk about the flirting.

"Oh no you were not trying to be smooth."

"I don't need to try I just do, now shush. So we part ways and I'm thinking I'm never going to see her again. I get out of the airport and get bombarded by Lexy."

"Next!" I laugh at Madison's outburst. They seriously do not like when I talk about the other one to them.

"Madison."

"Nope I said next. If this were DVR I'd be fast forwarding right now. I don't want to hear about the best friend stealer."

"You both need to get over that. Anyway Lexy" I ignore the sound of Madison sucking her teeth at the mention of Lexy. "drags me to this beach party."

"I would never drag you anywhere, Spencer."

"You dragged me to a party the other night." I remind her.

"You asked and I just delivered." I can practically hear her shrug. "Do not act like it's the same thing."

I tell her about the beach party and all her commentary is making it hard to find this situation serious. She tells me excitedly my life is like a soap opera. Geez, I hope not.

I mention how in love they look, Ashley thought the same thing as me about us never seeing each other. That our flirting was harmless, but I didn't see it that way. I also tell her how we spent the night getting to know each other and she started to sing for me.

"Damn Spence, two days and that girl is already serenading you. Let me find out."

"You would if you stop interrupting." I answer through gritted teeth but keep my tone playful. I carry on after she sits in silence only for a few minutes before she hears about how Lexy volunteered me to be the photographer of Ashley's photo shoot.

"How this bitch…"

"Madison!" I shout in defense for my friend.

"Don't interrupt me!' I shake my head as I allow her to continue. "How this bitch just volunteer your ass to do stuff for her girlfriend. Like really who does that? Plus she acting like you ain't got anything else better to do like call your real best friend who has been waiting for your ass to call all damn day!'

I ignore her and continue my side of the conversation like hers never existed. She makes sure I know that she exist when she flips out that Carmen called but then her insults turn to cheers of approval as I tell her I shut Carmen down quick.

She quiets down after this because she feels my mood change. I sigh as I think of today's events. I can't believe the emotional roller coaster I've been on in only the span of two days. I tell her how Ashley and I spent the day. She remains quiet the entire time. When I finish telling her about what happened at the garden she finally speaks up.

"Wow Spence…that's wow."

"I know. I know I'm not supposed to want this Mads. I know, but I can't help it. I just…she makes me…I can't even describe it but I love the way it feels. Everything about her pulls me in deeper Mads. I don't know what to do. I don't want anyone to get hurt but I know this can't end well. For any of us."

"Well maybe should just come back to New York." I go to inject but she cuts me off. "I'm not just saying that because I miss you. I just think that it's not good for you to be there. You shouldn't have to spend your whole summer in pain." She finishes. She's right. It's only two days into my summer vacation and already it's too much for me. Maybe coming back to L.A was a mistake.

"Maybe you're right, maybe coming back to L.A was a mistake. Maybe I should just go back to New York regroup myself and-"

"Hey." Ashley says, peeking her head through the door.

"Who's that?" Madison asks quickly.

"Um hey." Turn around and sit up on the bed.

"Who's that, Spence? Is that her? Is that Ashley? Can I talk to her? Give her a piece of my mind?" Madison barrels off her questions without taking a breath.

"Madison I'm gonna call you back." I say into the receiver, keeping my eyes on Ashley.

"Spencer don't you dare hang up on me." She yells back.

"Gotta go, love you." I tell her quickly, hanging up the phone before she could reply. I know she's gonna be calling me back in a moment anyways. "Where's Lex?" I question, looking around Ashley like Lexy would be standing there.

She turns and looks back towards the living room. "She passed out about twenty minutes ago." She tells me as she comes in and takes a seat at the foot of the bed.

"Oh." Is all I can think of to say.

"I um... I just came to check on you. You left out of there so quickly I wanted to make sure everything was okay."

"Yeah. Just got a phone call." I tell her, waving my phone."

"Right." She nods. "Well I'm gonna um go, Lex has work in the morning so..." She trails off, thumbing towards the door.

"Okay." I nod.

I look down into my lap and stare at my phone a little surprised Madison has yet to call back. She's probably on her way to JFK to fly here and kick my ass for hanging up on her so many times today.

I feel the bed shift and I bite the inside of my cheek as I fight the urge to look up at her. My phone rings and I glance down at it, thinking it's Madison but it's not...it's Carmen. I roll my eyes and quickly press ignore.

She sits directly in front of me tucking one leg under the other. I close my eyes and release a heavy sigh as she places a hand under my chin and guides my face up.

"Spence look at me."

Her voice is husky and I really wish I didn't find it so appealing. I really wish I didn't want her as much as I do and I really wish I didn't open my eyes because the look she's giving me makes me want to kiss her.

I swallow the lump in my throat. I want to cry. Crying sounds like a good idea right now. I'm so emotionally stressed and it's killing me.

I grab her by the wrist and pull it away from my face. I try to say 'don't' but my voice fails me. I have to clear my throat but the urge to cry gets stronger when I try to talk.

This is my best friend's girlfriend.

I don't want to hurt Lexy, I love her. I do but a part of me right now doesn't care if she gets hurt if I get what I want and that scares me. I stand up and start to pace.

I let out a shaky breath and I feel Ashley's eyes on me.

"Spencer talk to me."

She's in front of me again, and she's ruining my pacing. I have a method here and she's interfering. She grips my arms and lowers her head to catch my eyes. I try to shake out of her grasp. Her touching me is setting me on fire and not in the bad way. In the way where I want her to never stop, to keep me there and bring me closer, to pull me so close that I'm practically ablaze. All I want is for her to hold me and that's why I have to step away.

"Please don't…" I croak out.

"Don't what?" She asks stepping closer. I gently push against her shoulders.

"That…don't do that."

She releases her hold on me throwing her hands up in surrender and it's a lot harder to breathe after she did. I shake my head at that small fact.

"Spencer…I'm sorry I don't…"

"You're sorry?!" I half shout trying to keep my voice down. The last thing I need is for Lexy to come in here and make things a million times more worse than they already are. "I'm the one who's crushing on my best friend's girlfriend. A best friend who by the way does not deserve for me to have these feelings for her girlfriend and you're the one that's sorry."

"I'm sorry?" She offers again. I groan in frustration. Is she serious right now? "Spencer just calm down. I get it okay?"

I let out a laugh of disbelief. "Oh you get it?"

I think that offended her because she looks a little pissed.

Looks kind of hot actually.

Ugh! See what's she's does to me?!

"Yeah I fucking get it! " She's whisper yelling like I was. We sound ridiculous but you try having an argument without yelling. "You don't think you're throwing me for a loop. I love her... I've love her for so long and then here you come out of nowhere-"

"I did not come out of nowhere." I scoff. "I was here before you, therefore I've got seniority!" She smirks and fights off her smile. I point at her angrily. "Do not smile."

Ashley sighs and runs a hand through her hair. "Spencer I've written more songs about you in two days than I have for her in this seven month relationship."

She closes the distance between us placing a warm palm against my cheek and I can finally breathe again. I close my eyes and the peace of her touch is coupled along with overwhelming guilt.

"Spencer I…"

"I can't do this." I step back, away from my apparent source of oxygen. "I can't do this with you right now you're too…you're meaning too much to me too quickly and I can't do this." I step back further away from her. Like moving away is gonna change anything. "Please…" I practically beg "...just leave me alone." I look into her eyes, the task difficult, as tears begin to well up in my eyes.

She tries to move closer and as much as I want her to I need her not to.

"Spence…" She offers sadly.

"Please." I beg again.

She just nods and looks away from me. "Okay." She says weakly and sidesteps me, my back is still to her and I only hear her. "We can't avoid this forever."

"I know." I croak out before I hear the door close.

But I'm damn sure going to have to try.

–

Chapter title- Taylor Swift- I Knew You Were Trouble


	13. Missing You

****Last chapters reviews were AH-MAZE-ING! I can't thank you guys enough for all the love. I hope this one is to your satisfaction. And with the way I'm feeling I probably will end up posting another chapter later tonight... don't kill me baby! Lol

Just to answer a few of the reviews cause I don't have time to do all. Yes! I'm addicted to posting. I hope you guys can support that addiction lol. I love how you guys are all waiting for the kiss. I hope that if and when it does happen I do it justice. I guess Lexy is just being a good friend. She's not intentionally throwing them together cause she knows nothing of this connection they share. If she did I'm sure this story would be a heck of a lot different haha.

Dani: I swear I've been waiting for your reviews. No lie, cause I always seem some from you on every story.

YouOutaKnow: Overnight Shipping? lol

Annais81: That had to be the longest review from you ever! I commend you on staying faithful for 14 years thats amazing!

* * *

**Missing You**

I roll out of bed and sigh as I glance at the clock on my way to the bathroom. It's only six-thirty in the morning. I guess I'm still on East Coast time right now. I splash some water on my face, staring at myself in the mirror for a moment.

It's been two whole weeks since the night Ashley and I had that conversation.

I've been avoiding her ever since. I mean, it's kinda hard to avoid someone who's living in the same house as you but I've been trying my hardest. Seeing Ashley and Lexy together hasn't gotten any easier. I think it actually hurts even more now. It hurts to think that she's right there...every single day she's right within reach, but I can't have her. I'm not supposed to even want her.

Lexy is still completely clueless, where sometimes it makes me wonder if she really doesn't know or she's just pretending not to know.

Ashley's been trying to talk to me every chance she gets. Pulling me aside when we go to the movies or out to restaurants. She even pulled me aside when I went to get popcorn from the kitchen, while her girlfriend was in the living room. She practically football tackled me! I managed to escape her grasp, grab the popcorn and make it back to the living room unscathed. She stared at me most of that night. It's not even like she's trying to pull me aside to say we should be together. She just wants to make things right between us.

Go back to how we were. I guess I don't really have a choice with the bands photo shoot coming up soon. I may be mad at Ashley, not even her really, more of just the situation.

Anyways, I may be upset but that doesn't negate the fact that I have a job to do. I'm serious about my photography and I would never let a girl get in between that. Even if that girl is as amazing as Ashley.

Ugh!

Getting off track.

So my mom has been making it her business to be in my business every chance she gets. Asking me how things are with Ashley, how they're moving along. They aren't moving at all! I keep telling her. Ashley is Lexy's girlfriend and no matter how much I wish it weren't the case, it is and there's nothing I can do about it.

Madison and I have been talking every day. She keeps telling me that I should just come back to New York and visit here again at a later time. Like visiting at a later time will change anything. That girl cracks me up. The only thing that's really keeping me going is the fact that her and Aiden will be here in a couple of weeks to keep me company for a few days. I need a bit of sanity in my life right now and Madison definitely provides that.

The sound of my phone ringing pulls me back to reality. I shake my head clear and head back into the bedroom to grab my phone. I scoop it up from the nightstand and see its my mom. I sigh before answering.

"Hey mom."

"Oh good you're awake."

"Mhm." I mumble flopping down face first onto the bed.

"How are things-"

I sit up quickly on my elbows. "Mom you seriously didn't call me at six in the morning to ask me about my non relationship with Ashley." I say the last part in a hushed tone, knowing Ashley and Lexy are upstairs asleep.

"No." She chuckles and I can hear papers rustling around in the background. "I actually called for Ashley since I don't have her number."

"Mom I'm not going to wake them up so you can ask Ashley questions about our non-"

"I'm not calling for that Spencer. I'm calling because my friend got in touch with his friend over at Domino Records and he wants Ashley's band to come in for an audition today while he's in Los Angeles."

"Oh." I breathe out.

"Yes, it's capable that not everything revolves around you my daughter." She says and laughs. I scoff and shake my head at her.

"I'll tell her when she wake up."

"Well she better wake up quickly, the audition's at ten. I'll text you the address. And I know you're not talking to her but this is a big opportunity and-"

"I would never do that to her mom." I cut her off, aggravated that she would even suggest it.

"Okay, good. Well I have to get back to work. Come over for dinner sometime this week. I miss you."

"Mom I was over there on Friday." I point out.

"Right, well. Still." She replies.

"Okay mom." I shake my head, not wanting to drag this conversation out any longer.

"Love you, sweetie."

"Love you too, mom." I reply before hanging up the phone. I groan as my phone chimes, signaling I have a text. I reach over to the night stand and write down the address my mom texted me, then throw my phone into the mountain of covers on the bed. I'm gonna have a hard time finding that later. I hear it ring and I know it's only Carmen calling. Yes, I changed her ringtone to know when it's her. Jennifer Hudson's Spotlight now plays every time she calls. I groan as I roll off the bed once again and head into the bathroom to brush my teeth. I think make the trip up the stairs to Lexy's room. Or I guess I should say, Lexy and Ashley's room..

Cue sigh.

I roll my eyes before knocking on the door and a few moments later Lexy answers it... In nothing but some boy shorts might I add. "Hey Spence." She peeks at me through one eye. Not that I haven't seen Lexy completely naked before or anything, it's just that right now... the thought of her in bed with Ashley dressed like this. It makes my stomach hurt.

"Is Ashley awake?" I question in a soft tone.

"Nope." She shakes her head. "She should be up in sec though, I have work in like an hour." Lexy says, rubbing the sleep from her eyes and yawning. "Did you need something?"

"Yeah." I nod. "My mom called and said that she got in contact with her friend and he talked to his guy at the record label and they want to audition Ashley's band today at ten." I finish, pulling the piece of paper I scribbled down the address on out of my pocket. "Here's the address." I hand it to her.

"Oh wow, this is amazing Spencer, thank you. Ashley will go crazy." She smiles. "Tell Paula I said thank you. I know she didn't have to do this."

"Nonsense." I wave her off. "My mom loves Ashley, apparently." I add with a chuckle.

"It's hard not to." Lexy smiles. I bite my cheek to keep from agreeing. "I should go tell her." Lexy thumbs towards the bed. "Thank you Spencey poo." She smiles before closing the door. I head back downstairs to the kitchen and fix myself a bowl of cereal.

"Breakfast of champions." Ashley's all too familiar voice says, walking into the kitchen. "Good morning." She turns to me with a smile and says. Has she completely forgotten about our agreement to pretend each other didn't exist. Well that's not exactly what was said but you get the jist of what I'm trying to say. I don't say anything I just keep eating my bowl of frosted flakes. "Look Spencer." She says as she sits down across from me with her pop tart. "This can't go on like this. I can't deal with not talking to you-"

"You did it for nineteen years of your life." I tell her with a shrug. "Just pretend like you don't even know me." I try to keep my tone as cool as possible because on the inside I'm hitting myself. I don't want to stay away from Ashley. That's the absolute last thing I want. But it's just how it has to be.

"Spencer I know this isn't really how you planned your summer but I don't want to go another two weeks... another two hours without talking to you." She tells me in a hushed tone. "I swear that I won't look at you in that way anymore. If it means you'll talk to me again, I can control myself." She nods.

"Don't you get it!" I half shout. We both turn slightly to see if Lexy was coming. I really don't want to have this conversation with her right now. "I don't _want_ to be away from you Ashley..." I pause and close my eyes, feeling the tears building. "I _need_ to." I stress the word need, hoping she would understand what I'm trying to tell her. I open my eyes and realize she's inches away from me. She must have moved closer when I closed them.

"Well I _need_ to be able to talk to you and be around you." She matches my tone. Her sweet minty breath dancing on my lips. All I want to do right now is kiss her. "This isn't easy for me either Spencer. You're not the one in the relationship remember."

And that's all I needed to pull me out of my trans. "But that's where you're wrong. Lexy and I have been friends for nineteen years. That's longer than any relationship I've ever been in." I tell her standing from the table. "I can't lose her." I say finally, taking my bowl and placing it in the sink. I turn around to go back to my room but Ashley's blocking me. She has me pinned between her body and the sink. I sigh. "Please move." I beg, closing my eyes. The closeness of our bodies right now is killing me. I'm on fire but I don't want anyone to put out the flames.

"Tell me you don't feel that." She breathes me in as her words cut through me. Her left hand raises up to touch my face. She slowly guides it down the length of my arm. Breathing is impossible right now.

"Ashley." I moan. Her touch is too much. It's consuming me...every part of me wants her...more of her. "Lexy's right upstairs." I point out.

"Tell me you don't feel it and I'll leave you alone Spencer. Tell me this..." She brings the hand that just trailed down my arm, back up it again, then down. Letting it dance on my stomach. "...means nothing. And I'll go." She breathes out. But she knows I can't speak those words. I open my mouth to tell her something...anything, but nothing comes out.

"Ashley you better go before you're late. Did you call your band?" Lexy's voice pulls us back to the kitchen. She's descending the stairs and it's a good thing she spoke because I'm not sure we would have heard her coming down the stairs otherwise. Ashley quickly moves back to her seat at the table and I turn around to the sink to rinse out my bowl.

"I texted everyone. We're gonna meet up there." Ashley tells her girlfriend.

"Kay. Well I need to go before I'm late." Lexy says and I turn around just as she leans down and kisses Ashley. "See you guys later. I love you." She tells us both, grabbing an apple from the bowl on the counter and an Orange Juice from the fridge. "Oh Spence." She stops in the doorway and turns around. "You should totally go with Ashley to their audition thingy." I sigh and roll my eyes... on the inside of course.

"Oh, no I wouldn't want to impose or anything. This is their thing I'm just gonna stay here and catch up on some rea-"

"No you're not." Lexy cuts me off. "You've been sitting in the house for like two weeks straight, doing absolutely nothing until I get off work everyday and that's unacceptable."

"Lex I really don't-"

"It's cool if she goes, right babe?" Lexy turns to Ashley and asks. Ashley doesn't hesitate to nod a yes. "See it's settled then. You're getting out the house today. Okay I really gotta go." She says looking at the time on her watch. "Have fun my two favorite girls." She shouts as she leaves the house.

Guilty conscience anyone?

–

After getting dressed Ashley and I headed to the audition site. It was a nice sized building in downtown L.A. Very chic. We met up with the rest of the band at the place and they were called back a short time later. As they set up to perform, I stand on the side of them, looking on in anticipation. It's been two weeks since I heard Ashley sing anything. She's been really careful about that. I guess she figured that if I wasn't talking to her then I wouldn't want to hear her singing around the house either.

"Whenever you're ready." The man on the other side of the glass tells them. Ashley smiles, turning around to her band and whispering something. Everyone nods.

"This is a new song we just finished." Ashley says into the mic. The guy on the other side of the glass nods as they start playing. The bass and electric guitarist begin, playing a few cords before Ashley starts singing.

"_I wish this could be a happy song. But my happiness disappeared the moment you were gone. Don't think I ever believed this day would come. Now all I'm feeling is lost and numb. And oh, I know I promised, mmm, that I would try. But I, yes I, miss you. And it's killing inside." S_he sings out and I shake my head at the lyrics to the song. She didn't...not again. Not another song about us. The look she turns and gives me tells me everything I need to know. I fall back into a chair against the wall as she continues.

"_I'll always be thankful for the time we had. We were blessed I should celebrate but I feel too sad. All the wonderful memories make me fall apart. And it feels like somebody stabbed me in my heart. And oh, I know I promised, mmm, that I wouldn't cry. But I, yes I, miss you. And it's killing inside. Oh well I, yes I, miss you. Want you by my side." _I close my eyes tightly, wishing I hadn't of let Lexy talk me into coming here. I can't deal with this right now.

"_Walking holding hands. Talking making plans. Touching my heart my soul. I wish this could be a happy song. But my happiness disappeared the moment you were gone. Tell me it's not happening. Say its not as it seems. Tell me that I'm gonna wake up, it's just a bad dream. Please tell the that's it's fiction. Tell me it's just a lie. Whatever you choose to tell me please tell me it's not goodbye." _The words flow so easily from her lips. The raspy tone of her voice flowing perfectly with the bands instruments. I can't turn away. As angry as she's making me, I have to give her my attention. The way she sways with the music. Her body moving so effortlessly with the beat.

"_And I, yes I, miss you. And it's killing inside. Oh well I, yes I, I miss you. Want you by my side. Oh well I miss you. Want you by my side. Back here by my side. Here by my side." _She finishes singing but the band plays out a bit more of the song. The stare at the man behind the glass, waiting for his reaction. I lean forward to see him better. He's not moving, his face is blank. Did he not like them?

How could he possibly not have enjoyed that?

I smoothe out my clothes and ready myself to get up and go give the guy a piece of my mind when the intercom comes on. "That was amazing." He tells them. I plant my ass back in my chair.

"Really?" Ashley questions...like there was ever any doubt.

"Really." He nods and smiles, giving them the thumbs up. "Absolutely perfect. You guys are exactly what we've been looking for." He tells them. As Ashley celebrates with her band I can't help but stare at her. The way her lips curl up into a smile and her nose crinkles a little. I can't help the smile that appears on my face. I must have spaced out because the next thing I know Ashley is in front of me waving her hand.

"Spencer you okay?" She questions with a worried look.

"Yeah." I nod. "I'm fine."

"We did it Spence, we did it. He thinks he wants to sign us." She nods enthusiastically and I can't help but smile at her cuteness.

"That's amazing. I knew he would like it." I tell her, standing up from my chair. Suddenly an awkward silence over takes us. I stare down at my shoes, not wanting to be the first one to talk.

"The band and I were gonna go grab a celebratory early lunch, you're welcome to join us."

"No." I shake my head. "That's something you guys should do together, I wouldn't want to-"

"You're coming Spence." She cuts me off, pulling me towards the exit.

Then what was the point of even asking?

–

Song Used- Jem- Missing you


	14. Friends Lovers Or Nothing

I completely love you all so much! I don't feel well but I wanted to get this out. I hope you enjoy the chapter. It's so long. I didn't even realize it lol. Anyways...Enjoy.

Dani: Well I'm glad that you're reading at least :)

Derpalicious: Lol here you are.

Splashyfan: I'm glad that you enjoy it cause so do I!

Tam24: It definitely does.

Jay: Lol I don't know. Maybe they were.

Guest: Aw thanks for thinking I'm awesome. I guess we'll have to wait and see if Lexy actually knows. :)

scarling07: Well I feel super honored that my story got you to review. I'm happy that you're enjoying this one so far.

Annais81: You're welcome I really think it's awesome that you have been with someone for that long. I commend you.

Ambeezy: I don't think she does. Would it be so bad if they got consumed in the sexual tension? lol

irishinkjunkie1024: I thought about an Ashley chapter when I first started writing it but I felt more connected to Spencers emotions for some reason.

YouOutaKnow: I think you and Spencer share that feeling. Her heart dropped too. And I don't think Ashley even understands how bad it hurts Spencer to see her with Lexy. Let's spice things up, shall we. And Madison is on the way! lol

SoNfan1604: Aw I'm sorry. I'm not sure how long it's gonna be before they take that step... let me stop lying I do know hehe. I can't tell you guys just yet though.

BeautyLikeFrozenCathedrals21: Lol Madison says hi.

DominoL: I laughed so hard at this.

* * *

**Friends, Lovers or Nothing**

"I'm not going to tell you again." I suck my teeth and cross my arms over my chest; slouching in my seat. I've tried everything I could to get out of this lunch. I'm not even apart of the band, why would I attend a celebratory lunch for the band? It doesn't matter how many times I present this argument to Ashley, she still tells me the same thing.

"If it weren't for you we wouldn't even have had this audition." Yeah that's what she's been telling me. Then I'll tell her.

"Technically, it was my mother that got you the audition so you should be bringing her to lunch."

"We can pick her up if you like." She tells me with a smirk.

"No!" I shout, shooting up in my seat.

"Alright then stop bugging me, it'll be fun what else do you have to do?"

Not a damn thing.

"A bunch of stuff." I say still holding my pout.

"Like?" She inquires testing me.

Nosey much?

"Like stuff and things." I say slowly, not being able to come up with anything. Looks like I'm going to have to suck it up. Besides maybe it'll be fun. Yeah no, I don't believe that either. Anything with Ashley that's fun, makes me fall further, thus leading to guilt so no. Anything with Ashley equals zero fun.

"Yeah sounds important."

"It is." I mumble and she pouts.

"Come on Spencer I want you to meet the band."

"Why?" I ask genuinely curious. Why is it so important that I meet them? Like officially meet them.

Apparently Ashley isn't sure for herself as she stammers for an answer. "Because they're great people and you'd really like them." Her eyes stay forward as we drive to the diner they usually occupy and have become well known. I look at her with narrowed eyes and she does a double take. "Stop looking at me like that it's weird." I don't stop. She shifts in her seat, clearly uncomfortable. "Spencer quit it."

"Tell me the real reason and I'll stop." I say as I lean closer to her. She moves closer to her door apparently uncomfortable with my gaze.

"Fine! You're important to me and I want them to meet you."

My eyes become normal again. That wasn't the answer I was expecting. I don't know what I was expecting to be honest. But it most certainly wasn't that.

"Oh." Is all I manage to say.

Oh, hey awkward silence you're back! Long time no see. No I did not miss you, but thanks for asking.

I sit properly in my seat once again and am relieved when Ashley pulls up to the curb.

Ronnie's Diner. I read the sign to myself. I've never been here but clearly these guys have, since they have the whole back corner of the diner to themselves.

The rest of the band is already seated. I'd say it's my fault it took us so long to get here... Ashley had to drag me out of the building and then shove me into the car.

No I'm serious.

I really didn't want to come.

I hate going somewhere when I know only one person, but they know everyone. They'll tell jokes that I don't get, or talk about things that don't interest me. It makes me uncomfortable, but Ashley insisted and well I'm a weakling and can't say no to anyone.

I hate not having a backbone.

They all cheer once they see the leader of the band and the drummer kicks out a chair for her.

She holds a hand out and glances up at me. I look back at her unsure of what to do. She laughs lightly wrapping a hand around my arm, guiding me towards the chair.

Oh right I'm supposed to do that thing called sitting down.

She takes a seat next to me, rather closely might I add.

"Everyone this is Spencer. Spencer this is Joey our bassist." She points to a guy with a beanie and a scruffy beard.

"Sup." He lifts up his head once and I mumble out a 'hey'.

Her hand moves towards another member. "This is Andrew our electric guitarist." He puts his hand out for me to shake and I grab it shaking it gently. He gives me a warm smile which I return.

"This is Mikey our drummer." He holds his fist out and I quirk a brow, slowly bringing my hand up to bump fists with him. Ashley chuckles at my face and introduces me to the last member of the band who I must say is pretty cute.

She's got a pixie haircut and green eyes that you just want to swim in. She doesn't have anything on Ashley, but I wouldn't turn her down.

"This is Stacy, she's on keyboard." She winks at me and I blush like a school girl. She bites her bottom lip and her eyes scan my face as well as my breasts. Her forwardness freaks me out and turns me on all that the same time.

I smile at her and say a shy 'hello'. Ashley clears her throat and leans forward blocking my vision from Stacy since she's at the head of the table.

Boo.

"I just want to say you guys were awesome at the auditions, I'm super proud of you. You all worked really hard." She tells her band as they all smile lovingly at her. I can tell that they're really close. "And..." She turns to me and says. "If it wasn't for you Spence, we wouldn't have even gotten the audition in the first place, so thank you." I open my mouth to remind her I had nothing to do with it her arched brow stops me and all I say is...

"You're welcome." She nods and they all lift up their waters and toast to me. This is embarrassing.

After we put in our orders they start to tell stories, which I actually find quite entertaining since they're all about Ashley and extremely embarrassing. She's a good sport though, as she laughs at herself.

I'm not too sure how it happened but our chairs have gotten closer, our legs touching and because we're so close there is little space for our arms. Which means Ashley has her arm around the back of my chair and her fingers and lightly grazing my arm.

"Oh dude, remember that show we had in Connecticut last year." Joey starts, but doesn't continue as he starts to laugh.

Ashley covers her face mortified while the rest of the band laughs.

"What?!" I asked excited.

Have I mentioned I love embarrassing stories?

Well except when they're about me.

Joey can hardly get a word in as he grabs his stomach from laughing so hard. Andrew picks up the story.

"Well Ashley over here, the graceful belle that she is, decided to do some kind of pirouette twirl thing." He pauses and looks at Ashley. "Now Ashley remind us how many years of ballet you've had?"

She purses her mouth in attempt not to smile shaking her head. I look at her with a Cheshire grin and wait for her to answer. "None."

I whip my head back to Andrew who points and repeats her answer.

"So for some reason she does this spin."

"I was really into the song!" She defends herself. She takes a look at me and though my attention is on Andrew I feel her eyes on me. Her light grazes on my arm have gotten a little firmer as she drags her fingers up and down. I should stop her, but I can't seem to think of the words to do so.

I'm sure stop, don't, no, would all work but I don't want to say any of those things.

"Anyway Anna Pavlova over here…"

"Wait who?" I cut in.

"She's a famous Russian ballet dancer." Andrew answers as if it should have been obvious.

"Why the hell do you know that?" I ask and everyone laughs. "Would you like to share something with the group Andrew?" I question him with a raised brow. He playfully glares at me and I smirk lifting my shoulders slightly.

"Yeah bro did you like the Nutstaker?" Joey asks with a laugh.

Everyone bursts out in laughter. There are a few patrons looking our way but we're enjoying each others company way too much to care.

"It's the Nutcracker Joey." Stacy answers through giggles.

"It's probably your hat, you're practically cooking your brain. Why do you have that on it's like one hundred degrees outside." I tease and he sits up proudly adjusting his beanie.

"It looks cool." He answers.

"Is that what they told you?" I shake my head with a dramatic sigh. "You look as cool as when girls where Uggz in the summer."

Ashley tosses her head back laughing, the rest of the band laughing along with her. I look at Mikey as he keeps his eyes away from me.

"Why so quiet Mikey?" I ask with a soft smile.

He just chuckles shaking his head. "I'm afraid to speak or I'll be next on your list."

"Aw come on I'm not that bad."

"You most certainly aren't." Stacy concurs leaning farther into the group. "I think you're sassy. I like it."

I pop my eyebrows up once and Stacy licks her lips. It doesn't make me crazy like the way Ashley does hers, but it still looks good. Our idle chatter is disrupted when Ashley's phone goes off. She announces that it's Lexy and that she's stepping away.

I miss her already.

"Lexy calls, she goes running." Stacy starts with an eye roll.

"Wait you guys don't like Lexy?" They all look down at their food that had been delivered a while ago. Mikey shovels fries in his mouth, Andrew sucks on his strawberry shake, Joey shoves his sandwich in his mouth and Stacy…well Stacy hasn't taken her eyes off me.

The attention is quite enjoyable, I don't think Ashley is enjoying it too much though, Every time Stacy directs conversation towards me Ashley cuts in. This is the first time she's had a chance to talk to me and she definitely taking advantage as she moves into Ashley's seat.

I smile softly as she pushes Ashley's unfinished plate away. I quirk a brow and she leans her elbow onto the table and buries her fingers in her short black hair.

"So you going to answer my question since these guys over here apparently forgot how to speak."

"Well it's not that we don't like her, it's more like we don't not dislike her." She flashes a large smile and I chuckle a little bit.

"That's the same thing." I say and she just shrugs. "Why not?"

"You ever met someone that's just so nice they annoy you?"

I erupt in laughter. "Why is too nice a bad thing?"

"It feels fake." Mikey erupts, frustrated. "She's like a candy that's so sweet its gross."

"She's fondant!" Andrew joins in. Everyone looks at him confused. "It's this form of hard icing that you use to decorate cakes."

"Cake decorations, ballet…Andrew you know you can tell us your guilty pleasures and I strongly suggest you do because I would love to bust your chops." I say highly intrigued. You just wouldn't take this kid to know these kinds of things.

We all chuckle softly.

"You see right there. You're just real, you make fun of us and we can make fun of you. It's like you're one of us without trying. Lexy she's sweet, but she's not one of us." Mikey says freely.

It's a little sad to hear such harsh things being said about my best friend, but I understand that not everyone will like everyone else. Being friends with Lexy since birth I guess I'm used to her, you never think about how people react to a person they've never been around their whole life.

I shrug. "Neither am I."

"Sure you are Spence, you're one of us. You just click with us." Joey tells me in a philosophical kind of voice. Like he was sharing the secrets of life with me.

"Is that right?"

"Totally." Stacy answers with a sly smile. "You know that feeling when things just feel like they're supposed to work, like everything feels right?" Is she still talking about me and the band clicking or is she taking this a lot further. I catch a glimpse of Ashley as she walks back in, but she's stopped by one of the waitresses. They must be friends because the older woman pulls her into a hug. "You get what I'm saying?" Stacy asks again bringing my attention away from the brunette.

My eyes dart to Ashley one more time before answering. "Definitely."

"You can't choose who clicks with who Spence, you know?" That's Joey again.

"It's like you're Bach and Lexy's Mozart."

"Do you seriously talk like this all the time?" I laugh. "I have no idea what you're saying."

"Bach's music was always all over the place you never knew where he was going with his compositions and Mozart, all though fun, was a bit predictable and frankly a little boring."

My face scrunches up as I try to understand Andrews metaphor.

"You'll get used to it." Stacy says to me and I shake my head.

"Pretty sure I won't." They chuckle and I sigh as I look back at Ashley. "Does Ashley know that you don't like her girlfriend?"

They all shake their heads.

"How can you tell someone that's practically your sister you don't like the person they're with. Especially when there's really no reason not to, just a preference in taste of personality?" Mike answers for the group and they all grunt or mumble out some form of agreement.

I bite the inside of my bottom lip as I think about how much feelings are kept secret. At least I'm not alone with keeping my feelings from Lexy.

Ashley comes back and clears her throat. Stacy looks up at her band leader and smiles. "There's a seat right there Ash."

I see Ashley's eyes dart towards Stacy's old seat and I sense a little jealousy radiating from her. She reluctantly drops into Stacy's seat, reaching over to her plate and grabbing one of her chili fries. She's quiet and looks a little annoyed.

"So Spencer did you find a place for our photo shoot?" Stacy turns to me and asks. I glance at Ashley and see a small smile on her face as she remembers the same memory that's playing in my head.

"You want to tell them Ash?"

She smirks and shakes her head. "We are not doing that again!"

"Doing what? What are we not doing?" Andrew sits up eagerly wanting to here the plans for the shoot.

"Come on Ash, we did it once before, if we do it at night it won't be as bad."

"No!" She says with wide eyes.

"Just imagine the pool lights on, you didn't notice the white lights hanging in the garden? It would be perfect I've got the…"

"Spencer no! You can't make me."

"I think you underestimate what I can make you do."

"I don't think I have." Our eyes lock and we're having a secret conversation. Her band mates look at us confused. I quirk a brow as I threaten her to deny what I want, she looks away and sighs.

"We are not breaking into someone's backyard again." She says sternly.

"What?!" They all shout excited.

"We'll see." I say as I grab my drink and lift the cup to my mouth staring at her over the rim of the cup.

She smirks as her band begs us to tell the story. Goody two shoes Ashley apparently has some explaining to do.

"Ashley did what now?" Mikey leans further onto the table and asks in a harsh whisper treating this new bit of information as if they were discussing some top secret stuff.

"You're so dramatic." I say with a laugh. "We were scoping out places for the photo shoot and I figured there would be some great backyards in a neighborhood not too far from where I live. We went to the biggest house and hopped the fence."

"Ashley hopped a fence?" Joey asked with wide eyes. I glance at the brunette who looks more embarrassed now than she did before when Andrew was telling the story of what happened in Connecticut.

Which I still didn't get the full story of. I'll have to remember to ask her about that later.

"I'm sorry why is it this big of a deal, so she hopped a fence. You've never done that?"

They all were quick to answer. "Oh we have, Ashley over here…she's never done anything wrong in her life." Stacy points a thumb in the direction of the singer and laughs.

"Can you please stop talking about me as if I'm not here?" They all ignore her and continue to talk.

"Come on everyone does crazy stuff at some point in their life." I argue in disbelief taking a quick glance at Ashley who is now playing with a straw wrapper. Slowly ripping it piece by piece.

"Ashley cried if she ever got detention." Mikey starts.

"She doesn't jay walk." Stacy adds.

"She doesn't drive through yellow lights." Joey chimes in.

"So I'm a cautious pedestrian and driver. Do you see the maniacs that drive cars these days? They'll give anyone a license." She tries to defend herself, but her defense falls upon deaf ears as her friends think of more things Ashley doesn't do that most people do on a normal basis. I laugh at all the tidbits of information I'm getting.

I like the fact that I've corrupted the brunette a little bit. I like that I have an affect on her that Lexy doesn't have. That I can get her to do things that Lexy can't.

"She doesn't steal pens when she goes the bank!" Andrew starts a new trend.

"She doesn't even take alcohol swabs from the doctor's office! Everyone does that, at least steal one q tip, good grief." Mikey shakes his head showing disappointment in his friend.

"Guys these are such small things." I counter.

"Exactly, thank you Spence." She gives me a smile and leans back in her chair. I give her a wink and she blushes.

Huh…interesting.

"Which is why we're so amazed you got her to break an actual law. This poor girl used to cry if she got threatened with detention in high school, imagine if she actually got arrested." Stacy quips with a laugh and Ashley glares at her.

"I did not cry."

"Like a baby." Joey says as his bottom lip starts to quiver and he pretends to release some fake tears. He stops once a cheese fry hits his hat. "My hat!" He shrieks quickly removing it and cleaning off the melted cheese with a napkin and water.

"Now whose the baby?" Ashley counters, tilting her head and smirking.

I laugh at how well everyone gets along and I realize all the nervousness I felt in the beginning never really flared up. Maybe Joey is right, maybe I am one of them. They're a really great group and I feel so welcomed. I wonder how they make Lexy feel or is she too oblivious to the standoffish vibe they give her like she's oblivious when it comes to whatever is going on between me and Ashley.

I look at the brunette and she has this look in her eyes and if I could pinpoint it to an emotion I think I'd say it looks like admiration. She gives me a sheepish smile and I try to return it but my gaze is cut off as Stacy leans forward to block Ashley's face. Basically the same way Ashley did to her all through lunch.

"So Spencer are you free for dinner some time this week?"

I look around the table to see if anyone is paying attention to what's going on. She's extremely forward asking me out in front of a crowd. None of them are listening though, as the boys talk about some off topic.

I can't see Ashley though or her reaction to Stacy's predatory action when it came to me.

"Uh…" Am I supposed to lie? If I say no I'll be stuck as the third wheel again with Lexy and Ashley. If I say yes well…I'll be on a date. Is that a bad thing?

She raises a perfectly knit eyebrow as she awaits my answer.

"Yeah…"I finally get out. "I'm free."

She smiles and asks for my phone. I give it to her and she puts in her number. Then calls her own phone to save my number.

"Cool I'll give you a call yeah?"

"Yeah sure." I answer and she winks at me.

She does that a lot. I'm going to start wondering if she's got something in her eye or if it's just a spasm.

"Spencer you ready to leave?" Ashley stands up quickly and everyone groans in protest.

"No Spence stay." Mikey says.

"Now you want me to stay?" I ask with a giggle. "Before you thought I was going to make you cry."

He snorts. "I'm sure you'll find another time to do that. We want to tell you more stories."

"Well she can't, I have to get back to meet Lexy and I'm Spencer's ride." I tilt my head at Ashley's tone. Something's obviously wrong.

"You're killing our buzz Ashley, mellow out." Joey chimes in.

"Whatever you say Confucius, Spencer?"

I stand up, not trying to argue with her. I say my goodbyes and assure them that I'll see them at the shoot. I attempt to pay for my meal but they basically yell at me telling me my money is no good here.

Stacy grabs my hand and gives it a gentle squeeze.

I notice Ashley storm away from the table and I quickly follow her.

"Are you training to be a speed walker in the Olympics? Slow down." She turns the corner where her car is parked and I turn to see her holding the door open for me. I shake my head and stand in front of her. "What's wrong with you?"

"You can't go out with Stacy." She says quickly, in a tone that frankly pisses me off.

"I'll go out with whomever I want. Not your call."

"She's not good for you Spencer. I love her like a sister but Stacy's not the most committed person."

"Who says I'm looking for commitment?" I counter and she narrows her eyes at me.

I'm pretty sure that thought hurt her feelings. Just because I said that, she'll probably think I don't want to commit to her. Even though neither of us should be thinking that, but then again nothing is going my way this summer so far so why the hell not?

"Can you get in the car so we can go?"

I shake my head and drop into the passenger seat. Ashley walks around the car and climbs into the drivers seat, quickly pulling away from the curb. The traffic light at the corner is just turning yellow and I'm expecting her to slow down like she always has since I've been in the car with her, but she doesn't stop.

"You went through a yellow light." I state surprised.

"I don't feel like stopping," She throws out, not bothering to even look in my direction.

I feel like there's so much more weight behind that answer though and if there is what is she telling me?

–

Chapter title- John Mayer- Friends Lovers or Nothing


	15. Whisper

Yup... clearly I'm addicted lol. Feeling well or not I had to get this update out. It's one of my favorites. And for those of you that were wondering... this story is completely finished already that's why the post are coming so quickly lol. I have a job, I'm getting my masters and I have a girlfriend. It'd be soooo hard to get these out this quickly otherwise lol. Anyways, I don't have time to do the FoF but just know that your reviews keep me smiling like an idiot and I really enjoy reading them. So keep them coming.

Enjoy!

* * *

**Whisper**

"Honey's, I'm home." Lexy shouts into the house when she comes into the front door. I'm sitting in the living room watching TV and Ashley's standing in the kitchen, where she's been since we walked in the door. I asked her if she wanted to watch TV with me and she narrowed her eyes at me before saying a harsh no thanks. I think she's really upset with me.

But I don't really see how she can be. I'm not the one with the girlfriend here!

"Hey." I smile and wave at my best friend as she comes and takes a seat next to me on the couch.

"How was your day?" She questions, leaning forward and grabbing a handful of popcorn from my bowl on the table.

"Good." I nod and force a smile.

"Where's Ashley?"

"Kitchen." I thumb in her direction.

"She told me how the audition went, Paula is so awesome for getting them that. I need to figure out a way to thank her properly." Lexy says as she gets up from the couch.

"She doesn't want anything from you guys." I wave her off.

"I know." She nods. "But I really can't thank her enough for doing-"

"She knows, Lex." I assure her.

"Fine." She rolls her eyes and smiles. "But I'm at least taking her out to dinner or something." She adds, stepping over my legs that are outstretched on the table in front of me. "Ash." She calls as she walks towards the kitchen. I flip the channels on the TV, letting the blackness of the screen be my mirror into the kitchen. I watch as Lexy pulls Ashley into a hug, connecting their lips in a loving kiss. I have to look away. I don't know why I keep doing this to myself. Lexy giggles and hits Ashley on the shoulder as she says something apparently amusing, before walking to the fridge and grabbing a water. She walks back over to Ashley and gives her another kiss before heading back to the living room and I settle on the History channels' Pawn Stars to watch.

"So did you meet the band? Ooooh, did Stacy flirt with you? That girl's a flirt if I ever seen one." Lexy fires out questions as she flops back down next to me on the couch.

"Yes, I met the band." I nod. "Stacy did flirt with me. And we're kinda are going out on a date sometime this week." I turn to my friend and smile. I'm actually kind of excited about going out with Stacy. Maybe it'll be good for me to go out with someone else, take my mind off of Ashley...

My best friends girlfriend.

"Oh my God, really!?" Lexy shouts, clapping her hands together. "Are you excited?" Clearly she's excited

I shrug, "I guess." In the corner of my eye I see Ashley come and take a seat on the loveseat.

"I'm excited for you Spence, Stacy's hot. You need to get out and have some fun. You're always cooped up in this house all day."

"I am not cooped up in the house all day." I counter.

"Baby." She looks around me to an uninterested Ashley. Ashley glances up at us, her eyes meeting mine briefly. Well at least she doesn't look angry anymore.

"Doesn't Spencer stay cooped up in the house all day?" She asks, raising a brow. I glance at Lexy then back to Ashley, awaiting her answer.

She shakes her head. "I'm staying out of that." Is her reply.

"Boo!" Lexy shouts to her girlfriend. "Well I say you do and I'm glad you're getting out of the house. Ohemgee, I just got the best idea." Lexy says cheerfully. She has that look in her eyes, the one I don't like. She either has some crazy plan or well...nope there's no other options.

"I'm afraid to ask."

"How about you, me, Ashley, and Stacy all..." She didn't even have to finish the rest of that sentence for me to know what was coming next. I drowned her out as I continued to watch her lips moves, her hands flailing about animatedly. I can't believe she's doing this to me right now. I turn my head to look at Ashley. She looks everywhere but at me. I can see a glint of something in her eyes though. I think it's the same thing she had at the diner.

Jealousy.

I sigh and close my eyes briefly, wanting this summer to just be over with. This isn't exactly how I pictured it going.

Falling for my best friends girl, then going out on date with one of her best friends, while having to watch the girl I've fallen for and my best friend making kissy faces at each other. It's just all too much really. When I open my eyes I see Lexy's hand waving in front of my face.

"Sounds good, Spence?" She questions with a raised brow.

"Yeah." I nod and smile. "Sounds great."

"Good!" She jumps up from the couch. "Well I'm gonna go shower and get ready. You gonna call Stacy and tell her we're going out tonight?" She turns back to me and asks. Wait what? I probably shouldn't have tuned out the end of that conversation then agreed to something.

"I need to go do some band stuff." Ashley jumps up from the couch and says suddenly.

"More stuff?" Lexy questions with a pout.

"Yeah." Ashley nods, clearly lying. Why didn't Lexy pick up on that?

"Ugh, fine." She groans, turning back to me. "I guess you can just tell Stacy we'll go another night. You and I could still hang though." She suggests. I nod and smile.

"Cool. Call me later." She turns back to her girlfriend and says. Ashley nods before walking over, kissing her on the cheek and heading out the door.

"I'm gonna go get ready." I tell Lexy, pointing towards the room I'm staying in.

"Sure thing." She nods. We can leave around seven?"

"Yeah." I nod. She smiles and skips up the stairs. As I'm walking to the room my phone goes off. I run and grab it from the kitchen table.

"Hello?" I ask without looking at the caller ID.

"Hey chica." Madison voice soothes my nerves. Sigh. I miss her.

"Hey, Mads." I sigh out.

"Uh oh. What's the matter?" Her tone gets serious. I tell her to hold on as I walk the short distance to my room and close the door.

"What's not wrong would be an easier question to answer." I tell her with another sigh as I flop down on the bed.

"Is this about that Ashley chick again, because I swear Spencer. This whole I love you but I'm with your lame ass best friend thing is getting really old." Madison says, going off in Spanish afterward. She knows I can't understand a word she's saying right now.

"Madison, Madison." I try to calm her down. She's very protective of me.

"Well I'm just saying, Spence!"

"I know." I roll my eyes, burying my face into the pillow. "Ugh!" I groan. "I just wish I could figure out a way to get past this. To not want her anymore." I tell my friend.

"I know Spence. I could totally whoop her ass when I get there if you want." She suggests.

"No." I chuckle. I know that Madison isn't joking either, which is what makes that sentence even funnier. "I don't want you to hurt her. God no! I just... I want some peace from this. I want to be able to be around her and not feel guilty about my feelings." I explain. I can practically hear Madison nodding. "Well the only way that's gonna happen is if you tell her straight up, Spence. You can't keep playing this game with her. For what, two weeks now you've been ignoring her right?"

"Yeah."

"What happened to that?"

"Lexy kinda forced us to hang out today. What was I supposed to say? Oh no Lex, I can't hang out with your girlfriend because I'm falling more and more for her with each passing minute." I whisper.

"Damn, is she like trying to hook you two up or what?" Madison questions, smacking her teeth before continuing. "Look you just gotta be straight up with this Ashley. Tell her she needs to back down. That you need your space. If she really cared about her girlfriend then she'd get that, and back the fuck off." Madison says angrily.

"I hear what you're saying, I just don't know if I can say-" My sentence is cut short by my phone vibrating on my hear. "Madison hold on, I have a text message." I tell her then pull my phone down to look at my messages. When did Ashley's number get in my phone. I open up the message.

_'I put my number in your phone when I was in the kitchen. I hope that's okay. I need to see you Spencer. I just need to talk to you.'_

"Madison it's Ashley." I put the phone back to my ear and say.

"What does she want?"

"To meet me." I say looking at the message again. "Right now." I add.

"Well you think you should go meet her?" She questions.

"I don't know. Should I?"

"I think you should. This is the perfect opportunity for you to tell her how you feel. Get it all out Spence. Tell her that you guys can't go on the way you're going. It's not fair to you and you deserve better than to be someone's secret." Madison's right. I do deserve more than this. More than what Ashley can give me right now.

"Okay." I say firmly. "Hold on." I tell my friend. Pulling the phone from my ear to text Ashley back.

_'Where should I meet you?' _I send and wait for her to reply.

_'Our place.' _Is all she sends back.

Our place? I'm not sure I know where she means.

"I'm gonna go meet her Mads. I'll call-"

"You better." She cuts me off.

"And Mads." I stop her before she hangs up.

"Yeah."

"Thank you."

"It's what I do, chica." She replies in her best happy voice. "Love you Spencer."

"Love you too." I tell her before hanging up my phone. I sit on the bed a moment and contemplate what Ashley could have meant when she said, 'Our Place.' I shake my head clear, getting up from the bed. I walk up to Lexy's door and knock. "Can I borrow your car for a second, Lex?" I ask when she opens it.

"Sure." She replies without hesitation. "But you better not be trying to get out of tonight. I feel like we've hardly spent any alone time together since you got here. Which is completely unacceptable." She adds as she reaches to the nightstand and hands me the keys.

"It's not my fault you went and got boo'd up after high school." I tease.

"You did too, remember." She counters.

"Yeah well, now I'm not." I shrug. "So it doesn't count."

She smiles and nods. "We're leaving in an hour and a half Spence."

"I'll be here." I tell her as she shuts the door. I run down the stairs, grabbing my bag off the couch before heading out the door. I drive around for a good ten minutes before it dawns on me. That can't be where she's talking about. I tell myself as I make a u-turn and head to my destination. I pull up beside the fence. Looking around to make sure no one was watching. I get out of the car and walk up to the fence. Scaling it with ease. I jump over, hitting the ground with a soft thud. "Ashley." I call out softly. Looking around the back yard for her. No sign of her so I head towards the garden. I walk slowly, not knowing if this is even the right place. I peek my head in and see her sitting on a bench in the far corner with her guitar in her lap. "Ashley." I call to her again. She glances up and me and gives me a half smile, motioning for me to come over. I walk over to her and sit down on the bench across from her. "What are we doing here, Ashley? This is cr-"

"Just listen." She says, cutting me off. I go to speak again, to tell her that this is crazy. Just because we were able to get away unscathed the first time doesn't mean it'll happen again. But I guess Ashley doesn't care. She holds her hand up, cutting me off. "Just listen." She tells me again. She clears her throat, before shifting her guitar in her lap to the perfect position for her. When she starts strumming, I immediately can tell it's a new song. And not just new to me but new altogether. She stumbles over the first couple of chords, shaking her head at herself before starting over. Doing it perfectly the second time. I keep my eyes fixed on her face as she watches her fingers play the music. Ashley playing her guitar gets me every time. The music changes and I know she's about to begin. She keeps her eyes on her guitar. Not wanting to mess up again.

"_Running the race like a mouse in the cage, getting no where. But I'm trying. Forging ahead, but I'm stuck in the bed that I made, so I'm lying. But if you keep real close, yeah you stay real close. I will reach you. I'm down, to a whisper. In a daydream, on a hill. Shut down, to a whisper. Can you hear me, still?" _She glances up at me, her eyes telling me so much and nothing at the same time. She shakes her head as she messes up the chords a bit. I tell her it's okay with my eyes and she gives me a small smile, turning her attention back to her guitar.

"_Eager to please, trying to be what they need. But I'm so, very tired. And I've stopped tryna find any peace in my mind cause it tangles the wires. But if you keep real close. Yeah, you stay real close. I will reach you. I'm down to a whisper. In a daydream on a hill. Shut down to a whisper, can you hear me? Can you hear me?" _

She strums her guitar with more force, finally having the courage to keep her eyes on mine._"Still the sound. It dies on my lips. To fade away and to forget. I'm down to a whisper in a daydream on a hill. Shut down to a whisper. Can you hear me? Can you hear me? I'm down to a whisper, in a daydream on a hill. Shut down, to a whisper. Can you hear me? Can you hear me? Still...?" _She's telling me everything I want to hear right now. Everything I've been waiting to hear. She wants me to wait, she wants me to hold on just a little be longer while she figures it all out. But in the end, someone is gonna get hurt and I rather it be me then Lexy.

Lexy doesn't deserve this. Any of this. She plays out the rest of the chords, putting her guitar aside when she's done. I close my eyes tightly, willing the tears not to fall but my pleas fall on deaf ears. When the first tear escapes my eye she's in front of my quicker than I could release a breath.

"Don't cry." She whispers, her breath tickling my cheek as she wipes away the tear. "Please don't cry, Spencer."

"This is wrong." I tell her, barely audible. "This...we shouldn't..." I trail off, feeling the tears coming again. I open my eyes to her face right in front of me. Inches away. My eyes dart down to her lips and I contemplate kissing her. For a brief moment we both do. But I sigh and shake my head. I can't do this to Lexy.

"Don't go out with Stacy." She says after a moment. Wait, is that what this was all about? Did I read into that song too much? Did I just hear what I wanted to hear? I stand and shake my head. Are you kidding me right now? I scoff and turn to walk away. "Spencer please." She begs, grabbing my hand and pulling me back to her. I slam into her body with a soft 'mmph' as her eyes drop down to my lips again.

"You're jealous." I tell her, trying to pull myself back. But she must be a body builder in her spare time because I can't move a muscle. "You're just doing this because you're jealous." I shake my head and look away from her eyes. They're too much for me right now.

"Yes." She states honestly. I give her a look of disbelief. "But Stacy's all wrong for you Spencer. You deserve better."

"Oh, like you?!" I snap and the look on her face tells me I've hurt her feelings. She releases me from her grasp and I stumble back a bit. As much as I hate seeing her in pain, Madison's right. She doesn't deserve me. She's with Lexy, my best freaking friend. What kind of friend am I right now? "You don't get to be jealous, Ashley. And you don't get to dictate who I do and don't date." I throw out. She turns and nods her head. Grabbing her guitar from the bench.

"You're right." She turns back to me and says. Wait, I am? "I'm in a committed relationship." She adds. Oh, right. Thanks for the reminder. She steps closer to me, placing a hand on my cheek. "You, Spencer Carlin..." She pauses and smiles. Wait, how did she find out my last name? "Are free to date whomever you'd like, and I can't-"

"Can I help you two?" A small voice asks from behind us. Ashley and I both turn towards the voice with wide eyes. Busted!

"Um..." I stumble out. Ashley just looks like a deer caught in headlights.

"Yes?" The old woman asks, walking closer to us. Crap, what's a good excuse in this situation.

"We were just um... um... this isn't what it-"

"Oh dear!" The old woman half shouts before smiling. "Are you the two young ladies that were in my yard a couple of weeks back?" The old lady asks as she pushes the glasses up on her face. Do we lie?

"Yes ma'am." Ashley answers with a nod.

"We were just um... we loved your garden so much." I say gesturing around us. "We're sorry for trespassing on your property." I add.

"Nonsense." She smiles and waves me off. Ashley and I give each other a confused look. The old lady turns and starts to walk away. "Well come on." She turns back to us and says when she realizes we aren't following her. We both shrug and follow the old woman. She leads us into the house. Which is even more amazing on the inside. "The grand-kids hardly ever visit anymore." She starts, shuffling her way to the fridge. She pulls out a jug of freshly squeezed lemonade. "You girls thirsty?" She turns and asks.

"Yes ma'am." Ashley and I say in unison. She smiles and pours us each a glass of lemonade. She shuffles over to us and hands the glasses to us, her hands shaking in the process. "Thank you." We both say again. The old woman takes a seat in the chair across from us.

"So you girls like the garden?" She asks with a smile.

I nod over my glass of lemonade.

"I love it." Ashley speaks up.

"I had it planted for my grand-kids." The woman smiles a sad smile. "The pool and the trampoline. All of it really. I'm not really an outdoors person myself. But they love it." She says and stares off like she's in thought.

"How many grandchildren do you have?" I ask, more so to be polite then anything. I mean we did just get caught trespassing. I don't want this woman to call the police.

"Twelve." She smiles, getting up from her seat and grabbing a photo album off a near by table. "Here they are." She says, handing me the album. I flip through the pages as Ashley asks.

"Where are they?"

"All my children moved out of LA for work." She says sadly. "They visit when they can but, it's not often and I'm much too old to travel far."

"You have a lovely family Mrs..." I trail off, realizing I didn't get her name as I continue to flip through the album.

"Williams. And thank you dear." She smiles. I close the album and hand it back to her.

"We probably should get going." I tell the woman, placing my lemonade on the table and standing up. Ashley follows suit.

"So soon?" The woman questions.

"Yes ma'am. I'm afraid I've got plans with my best friend tonight." I tell her.

"Well okay. Feel free to stop by anytime." She tells us, giving me an idea.

"Actually." I turn back to her and say. "My friend Ashley here is in a band called Serenity," I start explaining to the woman who looks at Ashley and smiles, glancing down at her guitar. "Your garden out there is really amazing and um... well, it'd be completely awesome if we could bring the band members in and take a few pictures in there. I promise we wouldn't mess up anything and it'd only take-"

"Say no more dear." She smiles cutting me off. "I don't mind that at all." The woman shakes her head. "As long as you both come and visit me every once and a while. I'd enjoy the company."

Ashley and I turn and look at each other before turning back to the woman. "Yes ma'am."

"Excellent." She claps her hands and smiles.

"Thank you for the lemonade, it was really delicious." Ashley tells her. I nod in agreement. The woman nods as we all walk towards the front door. We tell the woman goodbye and head to our cars. As I'm about to open the door to Lexy's car, Ashley is suddenly behind me, pushing it shut. My body is pinned between her's and the car. The second time I've been in this predicament. "I know that I said you can date whomever you want...and you can." She nods, moving her face closer to mine. "But Stacy isn't-" I put a finger up to her lip, stopping her from finishing that sentence. I don't want to know about Stacy's past. I really don't care. At this point I just want to be with someone that makes me laugh and knows how to have a good time. And Stacy does that. So whatever Ashley is about to say is irrelevant.

"I'm going out with her, Ashley." I tell her. She closes her eyes and sighs.

"I know." She nods, lifting up from me. She gives me one last look before she turns and walks away to her car.

I really can't take all this much longer.

–

Song Used- A Fine Frenzy- Whisper


	16. Backstabbers

I love you guys for all the amazing reviews! Please keep them coming because I love reading them, they make me so extremely happy and giddy. Things are realllly about to start picking up so be prepared everyone :)

Enjoy!

* * *

**Backstabbers**

I'm gripping the steering wheel as I sit in the car outside of Lexy's place. I can't believe what Ashley just did, the stunt she pulled. I am not equipped for another emotional roller coaster. I haven't fully gotten over the Carmen thing and now I have to somehow deal with this?

Nope, not gonna happen.

This supposed to be a fun, easy summer, instead I come here and get mixed up with this stupidity. I'm only nineteen and I'm pretty sure I'm suffering from high blood pressure from all this madness. I wouldn't be surprised if I found a few gray hairs.

I'm taken out of my thoughts when my phone goes off. I sigh because I know I now have to hang out with my best friend.

I should be excited right?

So why aren't I?

Probably because I have to pretend that I'm okay when I'm not. Clearly I'm not. I'm hoping fences to meet my best friend's girlfriend, allowing her to serenade me, all the while knowing I shouldn't be doing it any of it.

Who does that?

Stupid people.

Yeah, you were thinking it too.

I answer my phone and put on my best fake happy voice. "Hey, Lex."

"Where are you? I told you we are hanging out tonight." You noticed she said told and not asked.

Yeah.

"I'm sitting in the car outside your place, Lex." I've been sitting in the car for the past forty minutes. Ashley is in the house and I just couldn't deal with her right now. So sitting in the car is my answer to this situation.

She just says 'oh' then hangs up on me.

Seriously?

Minutes later the passenger door opens and she hops into the seat. She squeals in excitement.

"Okay, I'm going to need you to not do that or we're not going."

She blows a raspberry and I quirk a brow at my friend. She makes me smile and I think for a second maybe I can get through this.

Maybe.

I drive us to our favorite location. It's completely touristy but at the same time it's not as we see street performers, vendors, fisherman and surfers down in the ocean doing some moonlight surfing.

Santa Monica Pier

After we grabbed dinner at Rusty's Surf Ranch we decided to take a stroll down the pier. I don't even remember eating let alone this walk right now. My mind isn't here. It should be focused on her but all I think about is Ashley. I've been making a lot of wishes. Like wishing I didn't feel this way, wishing I was back in New York, wishing Ashley wasn't with Lexy so we could be together. In this case wishes don't come true. Maybe they never do.

The shouts of people on the rides and the music fills the pier as Lexy and I walk side by side drinking our ice cream sodas from Soda Jerks.

I've been pretty quiet, letting Lexy do all the talking as she complains to me about her boss. Then she tells me all about how she and Ashley met. Apparently the first time she told me about Ashley, it wasn't in detail enough. I wish she had because I'm finding it very hard keeping my ice cream soda down with every disgustingly cute detail. She tells me how in love with Ashley she is and if I wasn't feeling guilty enough before it's definitely eating at me even more now.

I look over at her and give her a tight lipped smile pretending to be happy for her. Okay let me rephrase that I'm happy for her. I'm happy she's in love, that she's found someone that makes her feel the way that she does. I just wish…it wasn't Ashley.

She sighs and links our arms. She drags me towards an empty bench and we sit down. Looking out into the dark ocean, the abyss is appealing.

What I wouldn't give to be swallowed up into the darkness and hide from everything that's eating away at me right now.

"Spence?" I slowly turn my head to look at Lexy, she's got that face, that face where she knows something is wrong. Oh shit. "I know Spence."

Fuck.

She knows?!

How in the hell does she know?

I thought I hid it better. That Ashley hid it better.

I swallow the lemon in my throat as I try to find words. All I get is air streaming from my mouth as I forget what words are.

"You know?" I stutter out. She just sighs and nods looking into her lap. I lick my lips, my throat is extremely dry. It hurts to speak. It hurts to breathe. Tears sting my eyes and I just want to cry but I can't, I have no right to. "I'm sorry." I say in a barely there whisper.

"No. I'm sorry."

Wait what?

"You're sorry?" I did hear her right, right? "Lexy how can you be sorry it's…"

She cuts me off. That's surprising. "Spencer you have nothing to be sorry for."

What?! Apparently not seeing my best friend for nine months is enough for her to change to the point that falling for her girlfriend is okay.

What the shit is going on?

"I don't?" I asked extremely confused.

She giggles softly. I'm not following apparently because absolutely nothing is funny at least not to me. Is there a hidden camera somewhere? If so this is a bullshit prank.

"No. I mean you don't think I notice but I do Spence. I see the way you look at Ashley."

Hey heart what are you doing in my stomach?

I try to speak again but she's not having it.

I don't blame her. I wouldn't want to hear the crap that would come out of my mouth. Even if I did know what to say, which I don't, I wouldn't give myself a chance to say anything.

It's scary that she's taking this so well. She sighs before continuing.

"I see the way you look at Ashley….and the way she treats me and I know it makes you sad." That's a bit of an understatement. Resentful check. Nauseous check. Guilty check. Angry, bitter, and sad. Check, check, and a big ass check for the last one. I shake my head. I stand up but apparently lose all feeling in my legs as I shakily walk towards the railing. I lean over and breathe in the salty air, trying to calm my nerves and my stomach. "Spencer just hear me out." Hear her out about what?! Are we going to share Ashley, is she giving Ashley to me, is she disowning me? I just nod my head signaling her to speak. She gets up and stands next to me and leans on her arms. "I'm sorry I've been rubbing my relationship in your face, especially after everything with Carmen. Ashley talked to me earlier…"

I'm going to kill her.

"Wait what? What did she say?"

"She just said that maybe she and I should tone down the affection while you're here. That's it's probably keeping you down because it's reminding you of what things used to be like with Carmen. I'm so stupid I didn't even think of that and I'm parading my perfect relationship around after that bitch hurt you." So apparently Ashley's Freud. Well what do you know? She's shelling out psychological prognosis like they're freaking skittles. I shake my head in disbelief and I feel Lexy rub my back for support. Can I be any more of a douchebag? I don't even try to correct Ashley's little scheme. What the hell is she doing anyway? "I haven't even asked you how you've been feeling or anything. I'm such a shitty friend."

I laugh in disbelief. Out of the two of us…I'm pretty sure she's not the shitty friend. "No Lexy you're not, you're really not. You have been nothing but amazing and I'm lucky to have you."

She smiles softly at me. I try to give one back but it comes off as weak. I'm pretty sure I look like I just lost all feeling in my face with this dopey grin I'm sporting.

"I'm the lucky one."

Please for the love of God stop being so damn nice! You're making this so much harder. I'm dying…like seriously a little piece of me is dying one bit at time, making it so much more painful and lasting longer than it has to.

I just laugh at her claim because well she's not lucky. At all.

"So should we do our normal routine?"

"Ferris Wheel?" I ask without having to. We push ourselves away from the railing and silently walk over to ride, keeping all our words for when we're on the attraction.

When Lexy came out to me it was on this very ride. It was the first ride we were able to go on alone given our height requirement. It was an exciting moment for us sharing that experience and when we were at the very top the ride stopped and we sat up there for almost five minutes. To eight year olds, five minutes felt like an eternity and while we sat I remember a little Lexy telling me that she likes girls the way that she should like boys. She thought they were prettier, smarter, and cooler. She told me that they made her heart go fast. I smile at the memory of her as she played with her fingers and speaking barely above a soft whisper.

I remember just hugging her and telling her about my crush on a boy in our class who I can't even remember the name of now.

We get on the ride and pull down the lap bar. As we make a stop for each person to get on we start our talk. Now it's my turn to speak but I don't really know what to say.

So Lexy does what she does best. Well another thing she does best, ask me questions.

"So how are you feeling?" She asks honestly curious.

I sigh and just shrug deciding to answer honestly.

"Overwhelmed." She just stares at me waiting for me to continue. "I'm just feeling all these feelings that I wish I didn't feel. It's making me sick to my stomach. It just hurts all the time Lex and I'd give anything not to feel this way."

It feels good to tell her how I feel without her actually knowing the reason why. Its good to get it out in some way.

"Spence I know that it hurts…"

I laugh sardonically. "You have no idea Lex. I just see her all the time and I want to get rid of it."

She thinks I'm talking about Carmen but really I'm talking about…well you know. "She's amazing…" Lexy scoffs. "No she's not Spence. She's a cheater and she doesn't deserve you. If she can't see that you're worth everything she has. She's not worth your time. So forget about her and focus on Stacy."

Who?

Oh right, Ashley's band mate

"Yeah but I'm not here forever I'm eventually going back to New York."

"Don't remind me especially since you just got here." I smile softly. "Plus there's nothing wrong with having a little fun. We're only nineteen we don't need to settle down yet."

"So you're not planning on settling down with Ashley with how in love you are?"

I ask with a little laugh but I'm slightly hoping she'll say no.

"Okay you're too young to want to be settling down. Ashley's perfect."

I really fight the urge to roll my eyes.

If you only knew Lex.

Instead I force out a laugh.

"Yeah you're right, I should just have a little fun I don't need all this stress."

I really don't…I think I found a gray hair the other day…I'm not being dramatic.

"So you're going to have fun with Stacy and cheer up and be fun Spencer again yes?"

"Yes." Wait a minute. "Hey! I'm always fun!"

"Meh." She says with a slight shoulder shrug. We both laugh and I smile wide.

This is the most I've smiled since I got here.

I guess this was exactly what I needed.

We reach the top of the ride and it stops for a while. We look out over the park and the Lights in the distance making the view even more enjoyable. Makes me think of New York at night and the thought of being there usually seems a lot more appealing but right now I'm okay.

"So what did you need my car for today?"

Crap!

I'm really sick of lying to her.

Can she just not give me a reason to, like asking questions and having great taste in women.

Damn you Lexy!

"Uh I ended up going back to that house Ashley and I broke into. Turns out she knew we were there but didn't say anything. So I decided to do the legal thing and ask if we could use her backyard for the shoot. It'd be hard to sneak a whole band and their equipment back there without getting caught."

Huh…that's almost all of the truth.

"I still can't believe you got Ashley to do all that."

I laugh. "Yeah apparently she's a goody two shoes. The band was telling me earlier."

"Oh really? They never told me that…in fact the only time I see them is when they play, they always go their separate ways whenever they finish a gig."

I give her a tight lipped smile and nod slowly.

I'm pretty sure that's just when she's around.

That's sad.

"Yeah well I'm sure they spend so much time with each other they just want to go their own way."

Oh hey another lie.

"Yeah probably."

We sit in silence for a minute and it's comfortable. The rest of the ride finishes up and we get out. We fall into our usual banter and for the first time in weeks I feel like my old self again. The nostalgia, a good refresher to endure a little bit of what's to come next.

–

We enter the apartment Lexy already yawning. I laugh at her inability to stay up late. It's only half past eleven and she's ready to call it a night.

I go straight to my room saying goodnight to Lexy. Changing for bed I sigh as my phone goes off. I've never been so popular. Smiling a little at the name on the screen and answer the call and smoothly answer.

"So you don't do the wait three days before calling rule huh?"

She giggles and her raspy voice fills my ears. "Well when it's a girl like you waiting, I can't wait too long or someone else may snatch you up."

"Yes well there is a long waiting list."

"I don't doubt that."

"So Stacy to what do I owe the pleasure of hearing a voice like yours?"

"Smooth talker." She answers with a laugh and I'm a little caught off guard by how shy she sounds over the phone.

It's a little cute. I hear her clear her throat and move around on the line, I'm guessing she's getting comfortable.

Does that mean we're going to be on the line for a while?

"So I was calling to find out what you wanted to do for our date."

I quickly clench my eyes as I realize that Lexy practically invited herself on this date. I sigh as I find the courage to tell Stacy the news.

"So don't kill me." She laughs and tells me 'okay' giving me the chance to continue. "So I kind of mentioned to Lexy about our date and she…"

"Invited herself and Ashley?"

My brows furrow. "Yeah how'd you know?"

"Yeah she does that." She answers coolly with a laugh.

She does do that but I never noticed or even saw it as a bad thing. You want to go somewhere just go. Right? That's Lexy's motto.

"Do you mind?" I ask stupidly.

Of course she minds. Who wouldn't mind having a tagalong on a first date.

"Nah don't worry about it though maybe we can break away after. Being in a band you're always in a group and I'd like to get some alone time with you."

"I don't know who you think you're dealing with Stacy I'm a lady and I do not conduct such loose behavior."

She erupts in laughter and I smile at the fact that I'm the reason.

"No Spencer I know you're a lady. I'd just like to get to know you, that's all. No pressure. Promise."

"Yeah I'd like that."

"Cool, well I'll let you go. Don't want to hover too much or you'll lose interest."

"No way." I say but we say goodbye anyway.

I drop my phone next to me and get up to grab a water bottle. I stop at my door letting my hand hover over the handle. I'm thirsty, but I don't want the cliché thing to happen where I go outside and I run into Ashley in the kitchen.

She was in the bedroom when I came in so I hadn't seen her but with my luck I'll run into her. I shake off the feeling, knowing full well that I have no reason to stay locked in my room like some prisoner.

I walk through the dark hallway and into the kitchen, open the fridge and grab my water. I make my way back to my room and sigh at the fact that unlike every scene in most movies where you walk around a sleeping house in the middle of the night and you run into your secret lover by chance.

My sigh wasn't one of relief. It's one a sadness because despite the fact that she's driving me absolutely crazy, that she's my best friend's girlfriend, the fact that this is so complicated in more ways than one, and that I'm about to go on a date with her band mate and friend...I miss her.

–

Chapter Title - Backstabbers- The O'Jays


	17. Troublemaker

I think I said a previous chapter was my favorite but I think this one and the next one are my favs lol. I'm a very indecisive person if you can't tell. I can see that not many people liked the date out with Lexy lol. I don't blame you guys. haha. Anywho, I hope you guys like this one. :) Btw, I would love to post another chapter later tonight, but that's up to you guys.

Enjoy!

* * *

**Troublemaker**

"Lex!" I shout up the stairs to my best friend, as I lean over the railing of the staircase.

"Yeah?" She shouts back down? Today has been a pretty quiet day, Lexy's off work and Ashley's out with the band doing...band stuff. My mom called me earlier and asked if I was still coming over. I couldn't think of a reason to say no.

"Can I borrow your car to go over to my parents house?"

"What?" She comes out of her room, standing at the top of the stairs with a hand on her hip.

"Your car, my parent's house, borrow?" I say with a smile, thumbing towards the door.

"But I'm off today." She whines. "Why can't we hang out. Watch movies and make s'mores?" She questions. Okay, what is it with my friend and her need to always want s'mores?

"Can't." I shrug and shake my head. "I promised Paula I'd come by today. You know how she gets if you don't-"

"Yeah, yeah, yeah." She waves me off and walks back to her room. I narrow my eyes at the now empty spot at the top of the stairs before she comes back out her room, tossing the keys down to me. "Don't forget we have that double date tonight." She points a stern finger at me.

I sigh and roll my eyes. "Hasn't left my mind." I throw over my shoulder as I'm walking out the door.

–

"Mom, I'm here." I shout into the house, tossing the car keys on the table by the front door.

"Spencer!" My mother comes from the kitchen clapping her hands together. She pulls me into a bear hug, cutting off my circulation.

"Must you hug me so tightly." I'm barely able to get out and my mother squeezes me even tighter.

"I just missed you so much." She says, giving me another good squeeze before letting me go.

"Mom it's been like two days." I tell her as we walk into the kitchen. "Hey dad." I shout into the living room. I can hear the baseball game so I know he's in there.

"Hello daughter." He shouts back. He'll come give me a hug when there's a commercial

"Well if you wouldn't have waited nine whole months to-"

"Okay mom." I cut her off, raising a hand. "I got it. No more waiting until summer to come home to visit." She smiles and nods her head once. "Where's Glen and Clay?" I question as I take a seat on a stool.

"Clay had class and I think Glen said he was taking Meredith to lunch."

"They're still together?" I ask with a look of disbelief on my face. My mother chuckles as she takes a pan of cookies from the oven.

"Yes, they're still together." I shrug, hopping off the stool to grab one of the delicious sugar cookies from the pan. "Nope." My mother slaps my hand away.

"Owie." I pull it back, rubbing it. That really hurt.

"These need to cool." She tells me as she takes them out of the pan and puts them on a cooling rack. "Speaking of cooling off, how are things with you and Ashley?" What the hell kinda transition is that?

"Really mom?" I quirk a brow at her. She smiles and shrugs.

"Worked didn't it?"

"No." I shake my head once, giving her the most serious face I could muster. "It didn't."

"Never mind that." She waves me off. You didn't answer my question. So I'm assuming it hasn't?" She questions as she takes a seat on a stool. I sigh and follow her lead.

"No." I shake my head. "It hasn't. "It's like, the more I'm around her, the deeper my feelings get." I explain.

My mother nods, bringing a comforting hand up to my shoulder. "I know."

"And I feel so guilty, every time I'm around, Lex. I love Lex to death. She's my best friend in the whole world, but I don't know how to push these feelings away. I've tried ignoring them, ignoring Ashley and now I'm even trying to date someone else but-"

"Wait." My mom cuts me off. "You're dating someone?"

"Mom!" I shriek. I'm in the middle of telling her how much pain I'm in, falling for my best friends girl and all. But all she wants to do is hear juicy details about a new girl I'm seeing.

"Well you brought it up." She shrugs and smiles. "Who is she? What does she look like? Is she artistic?" My mom barrels off questions one after the other. I don't even think she took a breath.

"Ugh." I groan and slump in my chair. I know she's not gonna let me move on until I tell her. "Her names Stacy, she plays keyboard in Ashley's band and she's-"

"Wait, you're dating someone from Ashley's band?"

"Well, technically no. Our first date isn't until tonight." I explain.

"Spencer..." She starts, shaking her head.

"I know." I cut her off. "It wasn't something that I just went out and did on purpose. Ashley took me to lunch to meet them and well Stacy just kinda asked me out."

"And this in no way shape or fashion had to do with the fact that you're trying to make Ashley jealous?" She questions with a smirk, tilting her head into her hand.

"No." I shake my head. "I don't know... maybe." I finally settle on.

"This isn't going to end well Spencer." My mother shakes her head and says. Don't I know it. It's the same thing I've been telling myself for the past two and a half weeks. There's no way that someone doesn't walk away from this with a broken heart.

"I know." I sigh, dropping my head on the table.

"Is she still singing you love songs?" My mother asks, causing me to turn and look up at her. Seriously mom? I groan, not wanting to answer. "You know, she's not so innocent in all this. I see the way she looks at you. And the song she said she wrote, clearly it was about you. Have you two discussed possible outcomes if you continue go on like this? What happens to Lexy if she finds out, how hurt she'll be?"

"Yes mom." I groan. "I've considered all these possibilities. It's not like I wanted this to happen or even that I'm pushing for it to continue to happen. I don't want to be the best friend that does something like this." I roll my eyes and drop my head back on the table.

"I know you don't wanna be that friend, Spencer." She says and I can hear her push back from the table and get off her stool. "But in order not to be, you're gonna have to talk to Ashley. Sit her down and really tell her how you feel. If you don't want this to go on then tell her that." She says as her voice becomes close again.

"Here." I lift my head to see her holding out a sugar cookie for me. I take the cookie and bite it.

Mmmm. So delicious.

Almost makes me forget about all the drama that's going on in my life right now.

"Thanks mom." I tell her, thanking her not only for the cookie but for so much more. She doesn't understand how nice it is to talk to someone about all this. Someone other than Madison. She gives me a small smile before kissing me on the forehead.

"You're welcome sweetie."

"Spencer, come watch the game, the Dodgers are playing." My dad yells from the living room.

"You better go watch it honey." My mother smiles and nods towards the living room. I hop down off the stool I was occupying and make the trip to the living room to watch baseball with my dad.

And for the next couple of hours, not one thought of Ashley crosses my mind.

This is just what I needed.

–

"Spencer are you ready?" Lexy knocks on my door as I get dressed to go on this double date tonight. I still haven't seen Ashley today. She's kept her distance, even since I got back from my parent's house. She said a quick hello to me then took off upstairs to her and Lexy's room. I shrugged it off, maybe she's just trying to be a good girlfriend now. Maybe she's trying to get over me like I'm trying to get over her.

"Almost." I shout back to my friend.

"We'll hurry up."

"Okay, Lex." I finish getting dressed and head out to meet them in the living room. The first person I see is Ashley. No, let me rephrase that, the person I see when I enter the living is Ashley. She glances up at me, our eyes connecting briefly and I instantly melt. I don't see how we've gone this whole day without talking to each other. All I wanna do right now is walk over to her and hug her. And she looks freaking amazing. She's wearing some black skinny jeans with a red t-shirt, a black and red Miami Heat fitted and some Red and Black Retro 13s. And damn does she look good.

"Hey sexy." Stacy swoops in and whispers in my ear. Oh! I didn't even see her. "You look amazing." She tells me with a smirk. The smile and subtle nod of Ashley's head tells me she agrees.

"Thank you." I turn to Stacy and say.

"Everyone ready?" Lexy asks, grabbing her keys. Ashley and Lexy take Ashley's car while Stacy and I take hers. I barely paid attention to Stacy as she asked me several questions on our way to the restaurant. I couldn't focus my mind. It kept going back to Ashley, standing there in the living room with that look on her face.

I feel the car stop and notice that we've reached the restaurant. I can't tell you how much time has passed by since we left the house and that's a problem. My mind cannot be so consumed when it comes to her, yet it is. I get out of the car and notice Ashley holding Lexy's door open.

She's so chivalrous.

They link hands and make their way towards Stacy and I. I'm watching Ashley intently and I'm sure it's borderline creepy, but I can't help it, she looks so good. My gaze is averted as I feel Stacy slip her hand into mine.

Um…what?

What's this?

I look up from our hands and she's smiling at me. Right, she's my date. I keep forgetting that. Somehow you'd think I'd remember, given this awkward situation, 'cause I'm sure as hell not here by choice.

"You good?" She asks softly.

I really wish things were different because she's so sweet. Plus it seems like she's really trying, maybe I should too.

I allow her to pull me a little closer to her and give her a smirk. "All good."

"You guys look cozy." Lexy greets us and I see Stacy fighting an eye roll. I playfully glare at her and mumble out 'be nice'.

I turn to face the other couple. Lexy's sporting a creepy grin. She really needs to tone it down, she's more excited than I am.

Ashley on the other hand looks like she can set anything on fire just by the look in her eyes. She's like Drew Barrymore from the movie Firestarter…man that was a good movie. I'm pulled away from my thoughts and into the restaurant and I notice that at the back of the restaurant there is a small stage and a karaoke machine.

Dear God this is going to be a disaster I can feel it!

We're seated and I'm sitting directly across from Ashley. I can't remember whose bright idea it was to do this.

"I'm so excited we're doing this."

That's right it was Lexy's. Everyone forces out a smile for the benefit of my best friend. She's too excited to see that no one is too thrilled with this situation.

"So Spencer…" I turn to face Stacy...her eyes are captivating. "...you go to school in New York?"

I sigh at the memory of the city. I can't wait for Madison to get here.

"Yeah NYU I love it."

"We recently had a gig in New York. Where was is at again Ash?" Ashley and I share a quick glance and I shift in my seat, uncomfortable with our current topic.

"Oh yeah!" Lexy jumps into the conversation before Ashley could say anything. From where I'm sitting she looks a little relieved at her girlfriend's interruption. "Hey Spence didn't you go to a party the night before you left?"

I see Ashley drink her water busying her mouth. Hiding her freak out, I clear my throat in search of an answer.

"Um yeah I don't really remember."

Lie.

"Wouldn't it be crazy if you met Ashley without knowing?" Ashley chokes on her water and we all snap our heads in her direction. Lexy gently pats her back, asking if she's okay. When she gets an okay she turns her attention back to me and apparently that question isn't rhetorical.

"Yeah that'd be completely crazy." I answer searching for the waitress, hoping she'll interrupt any minute.

"Wait baby didn't you fly in on an afternoon flight after New York and you did too right Spence?"

I'm gritting my teeth nervous as hell…

"Karaoke!" Great now people probably think I have Turrets. My table looks at me and I point to the stage. "We should totally do karaoke, I mean what's the point of coming to a place with a karaoke if we aren't going to participate right?"

Did anyone believe that?

"I vote Ashley goes first!" Lexy pipes in. I sigh in relief… close freaking call.

"No, Ashley shakes her head. I'm not doing this."

"Oh yes you are." Lexy pulls her up from her chair.

"Babe." Ashley groans.

"You're a performer, Ashley. It's what you do, now come on." Lexy pulls on her reluctant girlfriends arm.

"Yeah Ashley! Woo!" Stacy shouts and claps for her friend. Ashley turns and gives Stacy the evil eye. She shrugs it off and continues to clap.

"Fine." Ashley says, now standing on her own will. "But you're all singing a song then." She points a finger at each of us. We all smile as she gets up on stage. She tells the DJ what song she wants to sing and then grabs the mic from the table in front of her. The music starts to play and I have no idea what song this is. She clears her throat and begins, glancing at our table.

"_You had me hooked again from the minute you sat down. The way you bite your lip, got my head spinnin' round. After a drink or two, I was putty in your hands. I don't know if I have the strength to stand. Oh oh oh. Trouble troublemaker. Yeah, that's your middle name. I know you're no good but you're stuck in my brain. " _She turns to our table again briefly, her voice flowing so effortlessly with the music. I swear this girl can sing anything.

"Woo!" Lexy shouts as Ashley plays to the crowd.

"_And I wanna know, why does it feel so good but hurts so bad. Oh oh oh. My mind keeps saying run as fast as you can. I say I'm done but then you pull me back, I swear you're giving me a heart attack. Troublemaker." _Is she serious right now? We're really doing this again? She turns and looks at me, giving me a smile before she starts to sing again.

"I swear she can sing anything." Lexy mumbles and smiles admirably at her girlfriend. I totally just said that! Thought stealer!

"_It's like you're always there in the corners of my mind. I see a silhouette every time I close my eyes. There must be poison in those finger tips of yours. Cause I keep comin' back again for more. Trouble, troublemaker yeah that's your middle name. Oh oh oh. I know you're no good but you're stuck in my brain. And I wanna know. Why does it feel so good but hurts so bad? Oh oh oh. My mind keeps saying run as fast as you can. I say I'm done but then you pull me back. I swear you're giving me a heart attack. Troublemaker."_ The crowd shouts as Ashley continues to sing perfectly to the music. Almost like this is her concert instead of karaoke. "_Why does it feel so good but hurts so bad? Oh oh oh. My mind keeps saying run as fast as you can. Troublemaker. I say I'm done but then you pull me back. Oh oh oh. I swear you're giving me heart attack, Troublemaker." _She finishes the song and the crowd erupts into cheers. She thanks them with a wave before trotting off the stage back to us.

"That was amazing." Lexy smiles and kisses her girlfriend. Ashley glances at me from the corner of her eye.

"Kick ass." Stacy commends her friend. "No way I'm following that." She smiles and shakes her head.

"Me either." Lexy chimes in.

"Oh no." I shake my head. "You guys are not about to make me go on stage after Ashley." They all shrug and smile. I roll my eyes and groan. This is completely unfair. I sigh as I push back from the table and walk up to the stage.

What song should I sing?

I smile as an idea pops in my head. I tell the DJ my song selection and wait for the music to start...

–

Song used- Oly Murs- Troublemaker


	18. Womanizer

Because you guys asked so nicely :)

I'm glad you guys loved Ashley's song haha. Hope you like Spencer's too.

* * *

**Womanizer**

As the music starts the crowd starts to cheer. They haven't heard me sing yet though... yeah, they'll stop cheering in a second. I glance over at Ashley and see the borderline terrified look on her face. I smile inwardly, I guess she knows what the song is from the music.

"_Superstar. Where you're from how's it going? I know you, gotta clue what you're doing. You can play brand new to all the other chicks out here but I know what you are, what you are baby. Look at you, getting more than just a re-up. Baby you, got all the puppets with their strings up. Fakin' like a good one, but I call 'em like I see 'em, I know what you are. What you are, baby." _I finish the first verse and the crowd goes even wilder as I parade around on stage like I've done this before. I don't know where all this confidence is coming from. I look over at my table, Lexy is smiling, Stacy is smirk and waving her hands around and Ashley...well Ashley looks pissed.

"_Womanizer, woman, womanizer, you're a womanizer. Oh womanizer, oh you're a womanizer baby. You, you, you are. You, you, you are. Womanizer, womanizer, womanizer baby. Boy don't try to front I know just what what you are. Boy don't try to front I know just just what you are. You, you got me going. You, you're also charming. You, but I can't do it. You, you womanizer." _I nod my head as the second verse prepares to start. I feel good right now. Telling Ashley what I want to say without having to direct it straight at her. The look on her face tells me she gets my message though. Loud and clear.

"_Daddy-O, you got the swagger of champions. Too bad for you, you just can't find the right companion. I guess when you have one too many it makes it hard. It could be easy, who you are, that's just who you are baby. Lollipop you must mistake me for a sucker. To think that I would be a victim not another. Say it, play it how you wanna. But no way I'm ever gonna fall for you, never you baby." _I practically shout the last part. Knowing good and well it's not true. I've already fallen for Ashley and she knows it. But the look she's giving me right now is telling me that my words are hurting her. They're cutting through her, much like seeing her with Lexy all lovey dovey cuts through me. Now I feel bad for my choice of song.

"_Womanizer, woman, womanizer, you're a womanizer. Oh womanizer, oh you're a womanizer baby. You, you, you are. You, you, you, are. Womanizer, womanizer, womanizer, womanizer. Boy don't try to front I know just, just what you are. Boy don't try to front I know just what, what you are. Boy don't try to front I know just just what you are. You, you got me going. You, you're also charming. You, but I can't do it. You, you womanizer." _The crowd continues to cheer as I slow down to sing the bridge.

"_Maybe if we both lived in a different world, it would be all good and maybe I could be your girl. But I can't, cause we don't. Womanizer, woman, womanizer. Oh womanizer, oh you're a womanizer baby. You, you, you are. You, you, you are. Womanizer, womanizer, womanizer baby." _I finish, dropping the mic on the table in front of me as the crowd all jump up and erupt into applause. Seriously? I smile as I walk off stage, feeling good and bad about myself at the same time.

"Oh my God, Spencer!" Stacy is the first to greet me as I leave the stage. "That was amazing. I didn't know you could sing like that." She smirks, looking a bit turned on if I'm being honest.

"I can't." I shake my head.

"Bullshit!" She replies, leading me back to our table.

"Wow, Spencer! Channeling our inner Britney Spears aren't we?" Lexy asks, pulling me into a hug.

"It was nothing." I shrug and shake my head at my friends. Ashley's hasn't said anything. She hasn't even looked at me.

"I guess when you have an ex-girlfriend like Carmen it's easy to channel all that energy into a song like that." Lexy half shouts as the next person goes on stage.

"Can we leave?" Ashley suddenly speaks up, turning to Lexy. I look at Stacy who's looking at Ashley with a confused look. I turn back to Ashley and I can see all the pain in her face. I guess I really underestimated the power of song.

"Aw Stacy and I didn't get to sing a song." Lexy pouts, but quickly changes her mood when she sees the look on Ashley's face. "Is everything okay?" She questions her girlfriend, clearly concerned.

"I just... suddenly don't feel well." She tells Lexy.

Stacy narrows her eyes at Ashley. "You okay, Ash?"

"Yeah." Ashley turns to Stacy and says. "Just a stomach ache or something." She waves it off as she stands from the table. She's looking everywhere but at me right now and I don't like it one bit. I maneuver my head to try to make eye contact with her but she turns her back to me. "You ready?" She asks Lexy.

"Yeah." Lex nods.

"Don't let us ruin you guy's date though. Continue on, have a good time." Ashley says, talking directly to Stacy. I clear my throat, hoping she'd at least glance in my direction. I want to tell her with my eyes how sorry I am. How I didn't mean any of it.

"Okay cool, well I hope you feel better." Stacy tells her friend.

"See you at home, Spence." Lexy smirks and gives me a discreet thumbs up before heading out the door with her girlfriend. I sigh internally. Ugh! What did I just do?

"So what do you want to do now?"

"Huh?"

Stacy giggles. Apparently she finds being forgotten cute.

"You want to do another song?"

"God no, let's get the hell outta here."

She erupts in laughter and stands up holding her hand out for me to take. Well I can't decline now she's already taken it before. It'd just be plain rude. And I, Spencer Carlin, am not rude. A possible girlfriend stealer maybe, but rude? Never.

We leave the restaurant and I get a couple of cheers on my way out. People are obviously drunk.

I enter the car realizing that I still don't know where we're going. I let it go and just enjoy the ride as Stacy silently plays music opting for silence instead of conversation. Which I am thankful for because right now I don't think I can hold a conversation.

I'm not even sure if she's having any fun, I feel even worse now. First for hurting Ashley and now I'm practically ignoring Stacy. I'm the worst.

Okay I can at least fix one thing here.

"So where are you whisking me off to?" I ask turning in my seat, slightly leaning against the passenger door but not before making sure it's locked because I really don't feel like falling out of a moving car.

"Whisking? " She quirks a brow at my choice of words.

"Is that not what you're doing? Are you kidnapping me?!"

"Man I almost got away with it without having to put a bag over your head." I chuckle a bit. She's funny. I like her.

"You wouldn't want to hide this face now would you?"

She licks her lips as she takes a look at me, admiring my face. As flattered as I am I really would prefer her to keep her eyes on the road.

After my mini heart attack, she does just that and shakes her head.

"No I most certainly would not."

We maintain idle chatter and it isn't brutal. It's actually nice to not have tension and I almost forget everything that happened with Ashley. I said almost. In the back of my mind I picture her face, how hurt she looked, and how oblivious Lexy is that I just hurt her girlfriend or the reasons she's hurting for that matter. It pains me at how utterly clueless Lexy is. Part of me wishes she'd just figure it out, so I wouldn't have to bottle it all up inside. Maybe if we just get it all out in the open we can move forward. Maybe if I just admit that I have feelings it'll take the power away.

Yeah, no. I'm not believing that either.

But that's too much. That's too much to hope for...too much to want.

So I opt to listen to Stacy and how she's been playing piano since she was five because right now in this moment... She's uncomplicated. And that's exactly what I need.

We pull up to Putting Edge. I chuckle at her choice and she blushes.

"Too cheesy?"

"Not at all, let's do this."

We get out of the car and make our way into the building. When you first go in it's an arcade. The room is almost pitch black while everything is illuminated by neon lights and highlighted with black light. We go up to the counter and get our clubs and golf balls making our way further into the building. It's not too crowded allowing a little bit of intimacy for couples.

The mini golf course is colorful to say the least, as the black light makes everything jump out so much more. There's a forest of different colored trees, an out of place knight, some crazy mushroom things with faces. It looks weird but its glow in the dark mini golf who can hate that?

Do I want intimacy though…this is a first date.

"Okay so are we keeping score because I'm awful." I mean seriously who is actually good at mini golf anyway?

"No we don't have to keep score." She reassures me with a smile.

She sets up the ball and lines up her shot and on the first putt she makes it in. Apparently she's good at mini golf.

My mouth is slightly open in shock as I stare at her. She whips around and smiles brightly at me.

"I hate you." I say easily as I get ready to take my own shot. I point at her with a stern finger. "Don't laugh at me."

She crosses her heart. "I promise, no laughing."

Well after six shots I finally got the stupid ball in the tiny ass hole. I almost had a Happy Gilmore moment, yelling at the ball and its refusal to want to go home. But because of company I held back.

We're at the fourth hole and she's making every shot with one hit and I'm embarrassed to say the least.

After she makes the ball in I look at her with a pout. This is getting pathetic now.

She chuckles and motions for me to turn around.

"So this is why you bought me to mini golf."

She rolls her eyes gently turns me around. I tense a little as she comes up close behind me. Her front presses firmly against my back as she grips my hips.

"Open your stance a little wider." Her voice drops an octave and I'm not sure if it's cause I haven't gotten any in a while, or if I find her a lot more attractive than I've been giving her credit for, but I'm extremely turned on.

Go mini golf.

I do as she says as she snakes her hand from my shoulders and drags them down my arms, stopping them at my wrist.

"Now choke the club a little higher."

"But then it can't breathe." I feel her body shake as she laughs softly. I smile as her face gets closer to mine. Her cheek gently brushes against mine and I quickly like this golf lesson.

"Now just let the club swing like a pendulum, be loose, and hit the ball nice and easy."

These are the sexiest instructions ever!

I do as she says but her she never steps away from our closeness. I hit the ball and it goes in on the first shot.

I would shout in excitement but as I turn my face I see a look in her eyes and I'm stunned as I feel my face moving closer to hers. Apparently I'm hypnotized.

Our lips brush against each other softly at first, my eyes close as she fully captures my lips between hers. The motion slow and deep and I'm pretty sure I whimper a little. I bury my hands in her short hair as she drags her tongue across my bottom lip not forcing the gesture to go any farther. We finish off with a couple of soft pecks and she pulls back slightly looking at me expectantly.

Well damn…

She smiles at the smirk that makes its way across my face.

"So _that's _why you bought me to mini golf." I say, still a bit stunned. She shrugs and walks away to the next hole.

–

"I had a really amazing time, Stacy. Thank you." I tell her as we pull up to Lexy's apartment.

"Yeah, me too." She smiles and bites the inside of her bottom lip. "We should do it again sometime."

"Definitely." I smile, reaching for the door handle.

"Spencer." She stops me.

"Hmm?" I turn back to her with raised brows.

"Never mind."She shakes her head and smiles. "Goodnight."

"Goodnight, Stacy." I tell her, leaning over and kissing her cheek. She smiles as I exit the car. I wave at her as she pulls away. I bring my fingers up to my lips, remembering the kiss. Maybe Stacy is just what I needed to get my mind off Ashley. I walk into the house, fully prepared to head straight to bed but suddenly get extremely thirsty.

Call it fate.

Or destiny.

Call it whatever you'd like really.

But there she was, sitting at the kitchen table waiting for me with the saddest look on her face.

"Hey." She greets me, catching me off guard. I didn't think she was speaking to me.

"Hi." I reply just as softly, turning a bit to look up the stairs.

"She's asleep." She says simply, standing up from the table. I mumble out an 'oh' as I walk closer to her.

"Ashley I'm sorry." I start but she raises a hand cutting me off.

"Don't." She shakes her head. "Just don't." She turns and puts her glass of water in the sink.

"So you're mad at me now?" I question as she brushes past me, heading towards the stairs.

"Are you kidding me?" She snaps, turning around to face me.

"You don't get to be angry, Ashley. You don't get to be upset or sad or anything." I shake my head, raising my voice, only a little though, not wanting to wake up my best friend.

"Why the hell not?" She asks, matching my tone. "You don't think this hurts me? That I'm not in pain?" She moves closer to me, causing me to back up towards the sink.

"You should have told me." I tell her, fighting back the tears. "You should have told me from the start that you were in a relationship. This is your fault." I push her back gently as she continues to move forward, making me walk backwards.

"What would that have changed?" She questions.

"Everything!" I shout a little louder. She clenches her jaw, as I continue to fight the urge to cry.

"It wouldn't have changed a damn thing and you know it." She counters.

"You don't know that!" I half yell. "You don't know that." I shake my head and say softly this time. I sigh as she looks at me with those eyes.

"You really feel that way about me? You think I'm a womanizer?" She questions, clearly trying to fight back tears herself. "You think I enjoy this? That I like hurting Lexy? That I like hurting you..." She chokes up when she says the last part.

"No." I interject. "I know that this is-"

"Then why'd you do that? Why'd you sing that song?"

"Because I want you to feel what I feel, Ashley. I want you to-"

"You don't think I know exactly what you're feeling?" She cuts me off. I'm leaning against the sink now, she's in front of me and we're both fighting back our tears. She takes in a sharp breath before continuing. "I sit and think about this all the fucking time. What to do..." She closes her eyes. "I love Lexy and I thought she was gonna be the person I spent the rest of my life with." She pauses, sighing. Her face contorts in pain as the tears finally escape. I hate seeing her cry. My hand immediately shoots up to her cheek too wipe them away. "But then you came along. You came along and now I don't know what I want anymore. I don't how to fix this and it's killing me. It's killing me, Spencer." She gets out through sobs.

I pull her into a hug. "I'm sorry." I whisper. "I know this is hard for you." I tell her as the tears that were threatening to fall finally do. "I didn't mean it. I was just angry." I tell her as she sobs into my shoulder.

"Spencer." She pulls back and says after a moment. I stare into her eyes knowing what she wants to do. What she's asking me without saying a word. I wipe the tears from her cheeks as she wipes mine. "Tell me what you want." She whispers, closing her eyes. I breathe in deeply, taking in her scent. This is all too much right now. Lexy's right upstairs, and could walk in on us at any moment. I close my eyes tightly, wishing that this wasn't all so damn complicated. And now Stacy is in the picture. Another innocent heart that doesn't deserve to be broken.

What do I want? Should I just tell her to leave Lexy? To just choose me?

We both open our eyes at the same time. Her eyes scan my face, dropping down to my lips. I lick them in anticipation. I've wanted nothing more than to kiss her since the moment I met her. Her eyes dance around my face before shifting back and forth between my eyes and lips as her face moves closer to mine. I know this is wrong. I know that I should stop her.

But apparently my brain and my body aren't speaking to each other right now, because I don't stop her.

I'm the one the closes the distance, connecting our lips. We both sigh and melt into each other at how perfect it all feels.

Her hands shoot up to my waist, snaking their way up my arms. I moan at the contact. Her touch is like nothing I've ever felt before. It's like my body was made to be in her embrace. Every part of me feels alive right now.

Exhilarating.

Intoxicating.

She's only touching me in a few places but I can feel her all over.

I grab the back of her head, pulling her impossibly closer as my fingers get lost in her hair. I've wanted this for so long and it feels so amazing.

But then it hits me.

The giant wave of guilt.

I pull away from her, dropping my hands down to my side, shaking my head. I open my mouth to speak but nothing comes out.

Lexy...

Stacy...

Fuck why'd I have to put Stacy in this giant mess pile.

I can't breathe. I need to not be here right now. I can't look at her.

See her.

Want her.

This is so wrong.

I run out of the house, grabbing Lexy's keys from the bowl by the door on my way out. I'll send her a text telling her I took it later. But right now I just need to go. I hear Ashley shout after me, her footsteps behind me.

I vaguely recall telling her to leave me alone.

That I couldn't be around her right now.

But my mind is blank as I get in Lexy's car and drive.

I feel like such an ass.

Now who's the womanizer...

–

Song Used- Britney Spears- Womanizer


	19. Confessions

Quick question: Would you guys rather me do the FoF and get out the chapters a little slower or not do it and get the chapters out a lot quicker? Thanks for all the reviews last chapter. I'm so glad you guys liked the way the kiss happened. :)

Enjoy!

* * *

**Confessions**

I somehow ended up at my parents house.

In the midst of all this chaos, the only thing I wanna do right now is cuddle under my mother and have her tell me that everything will be okay.

Even if deep down, I know it's not going to be.

I sigh as I drop Lexi's keys in the bowl by the door, trudging into the living room to sit down. "Mom." My eyes open wide as she looks up from the TV. "I thought you'd be asleep." I tell her in a low voice, flopping down next to her on the couch.

"Late shift." She says, scanning my face. "Spencer, what's wrong?" She sits up and faces me.

The tears that I'd been fighting the entire car ride over decide that now is as good a time as any to present themselves. I fall into my mother's lap, not being able to stand it any longer. She doesn't push me to talk or anything. She just does what she knows I need right now. She rubs my back and tells me everything is gonna be okay.

When I finally settle down I tell her everything that happened tonight. From karaoke to kissing Ashley. I tell her how guilty I feel for kissing Stacy when I know how I feel about Ashley. She doesn't pry or ask for more information about a certain thing, she just lets me tell my story the way I want to.

To be honest, I've never seen her like this. When I'm done she clears her throat, pushing me up gently off her lap to look at my face.

"You are a beautiful, intelligent, amazing woman." She says as she cups my face, wiping away my tears with her thumbs. "You deserve to be just as happy as anyone." She gives me a small smile as she nods her head. "And if Ashley makes you happy-"

"But it's wrong." I cut her off, shaking my head in her hands. "It's wrong mom. Lexy is my best friend and I don't want to lose her. I can't lose her."

She drops her hands from my face and sighs. "Then you have to distance yourself from Ashley." She says and I nod, knowing she's right. "This Stacy young lady sounds lovely, Spencer. Maybe you should try with her. See if she makes you happy and if she doesn't then... then move on, but at least you can honestly say that you tried.

"Mom..." I say softly, turning to face her. "I think... I think I'm..."

"I know honey." She cuts me off, nodding as she rubs circles in my back. "I know." I fight the urge to cry again. "I have to get to work, but we can talk more when I get home okay?" I nod as she stands from the couch. "I love you, Spence." She leans down and kisses me on my forehead before grabbing her purse and leaving out the front door.

I sigh as I sink down into the couch. Taking out my phone to text Lexy to let her know I borrowed her car and will have it back before she has work in the morning. I drop my phone onto my lap, turning up the volume on the TV a little.

The Golden Girls.

I've always loved this show. It's always had the ability to make me feel better.

My phone vibrates in my lap, pulling me from the TV. Is this Lexy texting me back already? She should be asleep right now?

What if she was awake that whole time?

What if she heard and saw everything?

What if she... will you just check your damn phone already! My subconscious screams at me.

Fine! I scream back.

Mature I know. I'm screaming at myself.

I finally pick my phone up and see that it's a call from Carmen! Ugh! I really don't have time to deal with this right now. I groan and sit my phone down on the couch next to me when it buzzes again. I growl, fully ready to curse Carmen out when I see it's a text from Stacy. Oh, so I was freaking out for nothing. Nice.

_'I just couldn't sleep without telling you again how much I enjoyed our date.' _I smile at her cuteness. She decides to text me two hours after the fact.

_'I had an amazing time too.' _I stare at the screen, thinking. Should I just go for it? I roll my eyes and decide, why the hell not?_ 'What are you doing tomorrow?' _I add to the message and send it.

_'Seeing you I hope.'_ She replies quickly. I smile and start to type my reply when another text comes in. _'We still have the photo shoot tomorrow right?' _

Crap! I completely spaced on that.

_'Yeah, Ashley will text you guys the location.' _I text her back.

_'Okay then. Well goodnight beautiful and sweet dreams.'_

_'Goodnight Stacy.'_

I sigh and toss my phone on the table. I was planning on avoiding Ashley for a while. I guess that's kind of impossible now.

I kick my feet up on the table, grabbing the blanket off the arm of the couch and draping it over myself. Tonight has been a long night.

Sleep will do me some good.

I wake up the next morning to the sound of my phone ringing. _'Hey, I just met you. And this is crazy. But here's my number, so call me maybe.'_ I grab my phone and answer it, giving myself a mental note to change my ring tone later.

"Hello?"

"Spencer!" Lex voice shouts from the other line. Shit! I sit up and look at the time on my phone. Half past nine. Crap, Lexy had to be to work at seven.

"Fuck, I am so sorry Lex. I was gonna drop the car back off this morning I just over-"

"No worries Spencer." She tells me in mellow tone. "Ashley dropped me off at work. I'm more concerned with why you left in the first place. Is everything okay?" I rub my temples as I think of what to tell her.

A lie.

"Everything's fine."

"Then why'd you leave?"

"I don't know. I just went for a drive to clear my head and then ended up staying at my parent's house." Not a complete lie.

"Clear your head?" She questions.

"Yeah, you know..." I trail off, hoping she'd do the Lexy thing and finish my sentence with some preconceived notion she's drawn up in her head. But she doesn't say anything, waiting on me to finish. "This whole Carmen thing and then Stacy, I just-"

"Ah, say no more!" She shouts cheerfully. How is she doing all this shouting at work right now? "I get it. You're feeling guilty because you like Stacy but you think it may be too fast for you to be moving on from Carmen." She tells me. Yeah you caught that too?

Tells me.

"Lex I-"

"I get it, Spence." She cuts me off again. "But let me just say this. Carmen cheated on you and any asshole that's dumb enough to cheat on someone they claim to love is a fucking moron. And the dumb bitch she cheated with...well she's a fucking twit." Oh great. Glad to know your thoughts on what's going on between Ashley and I. "You deserve to be happy Spencer..." Why does everyone keep saying that? "and if Stacy makes you happy," Right band, wrong member. "then I say go for it."

"Right." I nod and say. "Did you need me to pick you up from work?" I ask, trying to change the subject.

"No." She says and I can hear someone yelling in the background. "Ashley said the photo shoots today, I wouldn't want you to feel like you have to rush so just keep it. I'll get Randy or someone to give me a ride home." I hear someone yelling again and Lexy saying an 'okay.'

"Lex do you need to-"

"Yeah, I gotta go Spence. See you at home."

"Actually I was thinking I would stay at my par-"

"Love you!" She shouts before hanging up. Nice. I toss my phone on the table and sigh. Once again feeling super conflicted.

How did this fun amazing summer turn into this drama filled soap opera. I fucking hate soap operas. Well... certain soap operas.

I pull myself up from the couch, knowing I need to head back to Lexy's to get ready for the photo shoot that's in a couple of hours. I grab my phone off the table again, looking down at it. I don't know why I was expecting Ashley to call. Or text at least. But all night...nothing.

"Did you sleep here?" Glen asks as he take a bite of his breakfast sandwich. I try to side step him, not wanting to deal with him right now. "For real though, did you sleep here?" He asks again.

"Glen move." I whine. I really don't have time for this. He takes another bite of his sandwich and steps in my way as I try to step around him again.

"Yes, I slept here. Now move." I push him out the way, almost knocking his sandwich out of his hand.

"Girl trouble?" He says and my head immediately shoots back to him. He's wearing a dorky grin on his face as he takes another bite of his sandwich.

"What do you know about my girl troubles?" I question him with a raised brow, moving closer to him.

"Oh nothing." He shrugs. I let out a sigh of relief. Thank goodness for that. "You know, just that you totally have a thing for your best friends girlfriend." He smiles and turns to walk away.

What?

"What!" I shout chasing after him. I step in front of him. "What the hell are you talking about?"

"I'm not blind Spencer. Anyone with eyes can tell what's going on here."

"Will you stop being so cryptic and just spit it out." I half shout to my brother. I really want to know exactly what he knows.

"At lunch a couple weeks ago." He stops, taking another bite of his sandwich. Oh my God, I wanna hit him right now. "You were making googly eyes." He adds with a mouth full.

"No we weren't." I punch him in the arm and turn to walk away. Completely over this conversation now.

"Keep telling yourself that, little sister!" He shouts to my retreating figure. After leaving my parent's house I headed to Lexy's to shower and get ready for the photo shoot. Thank goodness Ashley had already left.

Stacy texted me while I was getting ready, telling me that Ashley still hadn't texted them the address. I sigh and text the address to her.

After getting dressed I grab my camera and a few rolls of film before heading over to the Garden.

–

Chapter title- Usher Confessions


	20. Photographs And Memories

I'll do the FoF every few chapters or when I feel like I really need to respond to one of your amazing reviews. I lol'd at the fact that you guys said my last chapter came out slow. I guess slow for me is more than ten hours later huh lol. I loved reading all the reviews so keep them coming. This chapter is dedicated to my amazing beta! Oh and I also wanna just say a quick thanks to everyone who is adding this story to their favorites and or following it. It means a lot. :)

Enjoy!

* * *

**Photographs & Memories**

"Well hello there, sweetheart." Mrs. Williams greets me as she opens the door.

"Hello, Mrs. Williams." I smile warmly at the old woman. I don't know why her smile is so comforting right now. "How are you doing today?" I question as she steps aside to let me in.

"Marvelous, just marvelous." She smiles as shuffles towards the kitchen. "Lemonade sweetie?" She says from the kitchen.

"Uh, yes ma'am." I reply, following her into the kitchen. She hands me a glass of lemonade.

"Your friend is already out back." She nods her head towards the back door. I glance at the door and back to her. "The cute brunette from before." She clarifies.

"Ashley?"

"Mhm." She nods, sipping her lemonade.

"Thank you." I tell her.

Suddenly, I'm extremely nervous. My hands are sweaty as I make my way out the back door into the yard. I should be mad at her, right? I mean, she completely dropped off the face of the earth. I mean yes okay I ran out after our kiss, but that's a normal reaction.

Not calling, not texting, not sending smoke signals. Completely uncalled for. Albeit it's only been less than half a day... still ya know. She could have at least texted me or something. I mean is that too much to ask for?

The sound of Ashley's guitar gently playing pulls me towards the garden. I follow the music, not being able to hold in my smile. She was born to play music. I'm sure of that.

I find her sitting on a bench; strumming her guitar and humming quietly.

I tentatively make my way across the grass wiping the sweat that's collected on my hands and forehead. Why am I so nervous right now?

I clear my throat to get her attention and it causes her to mess up the tune. She stops strumming and looks up at with sad eyes. My heart breaks at the sight. Sighing regretfully, I move closer to her and she scoots back on the bench she's sitting on, almost falling backwards.

I stop my advances. Clearly the five feet between us is too close.

"Hey."

Really? That's what I start with?

Her raspy voice replies and I smile at the sound of it not realizing just how much I missed it. "Hi."

This is conversation is riveting to say the least.

"Where've you been?" I ask curiously because I want to know. I know you do too.

"You know…around." She answers vaguely, with a shrug.

"Yeah I've been there before." I roll my eyes and she lets out a pathetic chuckle.

"Don't do that." She orders.

Um do I look like a waitress? I take orders from no one.

Except for Lexy…and Madison…but that's it!

"Do what?" I cross my arms over my chest and stare at her. She doesn't have her gaze on me anymore.

"That thing you do…acting like everything's okay when it's not."

I do not do that!

"I wasn't and how would you know what I do and don't do? You've known me for like five seconds."

She finally looks into my eyes, she doesn't look angry, she looks more lost than anything.

"A lot can happen in five seconds." She answers staring into my eyes as she silently elaborates on her answers.

A lot like falling in love.

Kissing your best friend's girlfriend.

Things like that.

I sigh and look down kicking the blades of grass. I notice how clean the grass looks. How fresh. Aw Mrs. Williams is so sweet, making sure the lawn looks nice for the shoot. I'm really going to have to do something to for her.

"Yeah well…" That's all I got. I scratch behind my ear and apparently Ashley is over the whole me not being close to her, as she quickly moves in front of me causing me to take a step back. Her whole presence right now throwing me off.

She's standing right in front of me and I forget everything as I breathe her in. I take that step forward and she matches my stride.

Literally inches apart.

I close my eyes as I remember our kiss from the night before. I don't have to imagine for too much longer as I feel lips glide against mine. I don't hesitate to kiss back.

It's hungry and desperate as we push the limit even more than we clearly already have.

She slides her tongue over my bottom lip, begging me for permission, which I quickly grant. I feel my knees get weak and I thank all that is holy that she grabs my hips with her free hand while the other one holds the neck of her guitar, because right now her hand is the only thing keeping me up.

I pull back reluctantly because as amazing as this feels my subconscious is screaming at me to remind me how wrong this is.

Screw you subconscious.

"Don't do that." I tell her, much in the same manner she said it to me.

"Do what?" She asks, her brows furrow in confusion as she scans my face. Both of us are breathing heavily, as I try desperately not to just grab her face and kiss her again.

"Forget who you belong to." I can see the hurt on her face, then it quickly turns to regret. I just nod taking a step back. "I need your help to take some stuff out of the car." I don't wait for her to answer as I turn and walk away. I run a hand through my hair and lick the taste of Ashley from my lips.

I sigh and make my way through the house and out the front door to grab the equipment for the shoot.

The music fills the back yard and I nod my head as I adjust the strap of my around my neck. Mrs. Williams comes around with her tray of lemonade. I'm starting to wonder if that's all she has to drink.

I take a glass with a smile saying a quick 'thank you' and watch as the band sets up their equipment.

I smile as Joey gives Mrs. Williams a big hug.

She's taken to the group very quickly and I find it sweet that the boys are so smitten over her.

"Hey you." I turn to see Stacy. I give her a smile as she leans forward, kissing me gently. I'm a little caught off guard so my eyes still open and I see Ashley looking at us with narrowed eyes.

I was just kissing her and now I'm kissing Stacy.

Ironic response from her I would say.

The pianist pulls back with a smile.

"Hi." I say with a nervous giggle. My eyes dance between Stacy and Ashley as she watches with dagger filled eyes.

Stacy slides her hand down my arm and slides her hand into mine.

"I'm excited to see you in charge." She winks and I blush slightly.

I'm not the only one who caught the sexual innuendo right?

Right.

I lick my lips and avoid looking at Ashley. I see the boys tease Stacy and try to get Ashley to join in she quickly shakes her head and walks away. They all give each other a look and shrug. I make my way over to Ashley.

"You want to not be so obvious?" I probably shouldn't have said that because the look she's giving me…pretty sure she's channeling her inner fire starter again. She just shakes her head laughing and walks away from me. Well that went well. Let's just get this started. I can't handle much more of this. "Alright, let's just start with some candid shots of you guys playing."

Ashley goes the mic and nods at Mikey, which I'm guessing is their signal cause he starts up the beat. The rest of the band joins in and Ashley starts to sing it takes everything in me not to get lost in her as she gets lost in her passion.

I lift up my camera and get lost in mine.

I direct the band towards the garden and instruct them on how to pose. Stacy stands her keyboard up vertically and stands behind it as she folds one arm over the top while the other hangs in front of the keys. Mikey stands next to her, resting his arm on Stacy's shoulder with a drumstick interlaced between his fingers and the other one in his hand. Andrew and Joey with their respective instruments in their hand and Ashley with a mic hanging by the wire over her shoulders.

The white garden lights add to the ambiance as I instruct them to change their poses as I easily snap away.

I feel Ashley's eyes on me, but I'm too into taking the pictures to investigate what kind of looking she's giving me. I dismiss them telling them I want to take single shots of each of them. They were all really cooperative as I snap shots of them dispersed throughout the garden.

I save the best for last.

"You all set?" Ashley just nods, not saying a word. "You need to change your attitude or anger is going to come out in every shot." I stare into her eyes and she looks away. "I love the way you kiss me." I whisper to her easily, knowing that even though it shouldn't happen, it doesn't mean I don't want it to.

Her mouth twitches up a little.

"I know I shouldn't be happy about that." She finally speaks and I sigh in relief. "But I am."

I just nod lifting my camera and she smiles. I take a couple of close up shots because hello, have you seen this face? It'd be a sin not to.

I finish up taking the photos and jump slightly as I feel arms wrap around my waist. I know who it is by the face Ashley is making.

I'm sorry but waist wrapping is a bit early after one date.

I'm just saying.

"You all done?" Stacy whispers in my ear.

Ashley just gets up and walks past us. I turn in Stacy's arms and give her a sheepish smile.

She leans closer to steal a kiss but I won't kiss her, not here.

This is me and Ashley's spot.

It's sacred.

I lean back and she gives me a confused look.

"Not done yet just wanna finish up." That seems to be enough for her as she lets go and brushes a stray hair from my face. I just whisper a thanks and move past her.

"Mrs. Williams can we swim in your pool?" Joey asks excitedly.

"Of course dear." She waves a dismissive hand and Joey wastes no time pushing Mikey in then doing a front flip in himself.

With their clothes on, might I add.

Andrew does a cannonball and I take the opportunity to take a photo him in midair. Snapping shots of them as they dunk each other, I watch as they conspire and nod their heads towards Ashley.

Stacy's still next to me, but she starts to back away when Joey comes rushing toward us.

"Don't touch me I've got my camera!" I quirk a threatening brow and Joey stops in front of me, putting his hands up.

"You can't keep that thing on you all night, Spence."

"Watch me." I answer with a smirk, but he winks and chases Stacy around the yard before scooping her into his wet body. She shrieks and I snap a shot as he easily carries her then tosses her into the water. He flips in again.

I watch as Andrew and Mikey circle around Ashley as she just shakes her head.

My distance doesn't allow me to hear what she's saying but it's no doubt a threat. They don't seem fazed as they block her in. She screams at them but she's laughing as well taking away from the threat.

I use my handy camera to take shots as Ashley is carried towards the pool by her arms and legs and thrown in.

Candid shots are the best. I get them as they play fight in pool and I even snap a couple photos of Mrs. Williams as she dangles her feet in the pool watching the band cheerfully.

They quiet down and just lazily float around the water.

I make a fatal mistake.

I put my camera down.

I turn around and see that all the boys and Stacy are in the pool talking to Mrs. Williams.

I think it's safe.

And then…

"Ashley no!" I shout but it's too late.

She easily picks me up.

I told you... She is freakishly strong.

She's laughing maniacally.

I hear the cheers of the rest of the band.

She jumps into the water still holding on to me, the force of the water breaking us apart.

I swim to the surface and come mere inches away from Ashley's face. I was going to yell at her but her smirk puts me in a trance.

We forget that everyone else is there, then we are quickly brought back to reality as I hear a familiar voice.

"Hey guys!"

Great...

Lexy.

I swim away from her girlfriend and towards the rest of the band hearing Ashley get out of the pool.

I turn to catch her kissing my best friend lovingly and I sigh, focusing my attention on Stacy.

She smiles softly at me, swimming closer. I allow her to kiss me this time, hoping that it'll help get over the fact that my best friend and my love interest are getting cozy.

As her lips gently slide against mine I quickly realize... it doesn't.

–

Chapter Title- Photographs & Memories- Jason Reeves


	21. Little Things

I have the biggest headache in the world guys but I wanted to get this out. I'll FoF privately. Thanks for reading and reviewing. So sorry for any mistakes.

Enjoy!

* * *

**Little Things**

"I can't believe you're coming tomorrow. I'm so excited Mads, you have no idea." I tell my friend in a monotone voice.

She chuckles. "Well you don't sound excited."

I sigh and roll over in my bed. "I am, I swear. You know I am." I'm just finding it hard to be happy these days you know? One day Ashley and I are avoiding each other and the next we're making out. It's been five days since the photo shoot and once again we're doing this little dance we do. I wish we could just make a choice either way.

Let each other go... or figure out a way to tell Lexy and I guess now Stacy.

See why I didn't want to get involved?

I'm such a mess.

"I know, Spence. I'm gonna handle all this shit when I get there." Madison says seriously, causing me to giggle.

"You're not handling anyone, Madison so stop it."

"Oh bitch I will."

"You better go off!" I half shout, making her laugh.

"You know I'll get Sasha Fierce on a bitch Spencer, please don't make me." I chuckle and bury my head in the pillow. Sigh. Madison never fails to amaze me. She can make me feel better in any situation.

One of the many things I love about her.

"I love you." I tell her, turning over on my back. I glance over at the clock and see it's only seven-thirty in the morning. I still haven't gotten on west coast time yet.

"I know you do." She says and I can practically hear the cockiness seeping from her voice.

"Oh it's like that." I chuckle.

"You know I love you, Spence." She says and I can't help but smile. "I gotta go, Aiden's taking me to his parent's for some God awful brunch, but we'll see you tomorrow, okay?"

"Wait, how do you know it's gonna be awful if you haven't gotten there yet?" I question my friend.

"Because it's with his family, duh." She replies quickly and I fight the urge to snort out a laugh. As much as Madison loves Aiden, her and his family have never really gotten along. She calls it the needle in her haystack. Impossible to see in all the love they have for each other but in the back of your mind you always know it's there and you just hope one day you don't find it. I just laugh and shake my head at her.

"What time am I picking you guys up?"

"I think the flight gets in around seven or something. I'll have to check. Text you when I get home. Love you Spence."

"Love you too." I tell her and we hang up. As I toss my phone on the bedside table there's a knock on my door. I shoot upright, straightening out my hair and making myself presentable. "Come in." I tell the person behind the door, thinking it's Ashley.

"Hey bestii." Lexy comes in and jumps on my bed.

Oh.

It's just my best friend that I'm completely betraying behind her back.

I put on my best Spencer smile. "Good morning. Wait..." I narrow my eyes at her as she jumps on the bed. "Why aren't you at work?" I question and quirk a brow.

"That's what I came in here to talk to you about." She tells me, dropping down on the bed. She crawls up next to me and pulls me into an embrace. It doesn't feel how it used to. Now the only thing I feel when I'm around Lexy is guilt. It's definitely put a huge strain on our friendship.

"What's up?"

"Well my asshole of a boss called me this morning right before I was heading out, telling me to come in later because she needs me to go out of town with her for the night." She pauses, turning to look at me with the biggest grin on her face. I already know what's coming next.

"Lex." I groan out.

"Oh come on, Spence. You've been spending every second with Stacy, which is great." She says, nodding with enthusiasm. "I think it's awesome that you're moving past Carmen, hell, Carmen can drop-"

"Moving on." I interrupt my best friend with a smile.

"Right." She nods. "I just think that Ashley's been a little I don't know... down or something lately and I know you can cheer her up." I roll my eyes at the irony of that statement. If only Lexy knew. "I'm just asking you stay home with her tonight, you guys can hang out, you know... make s-"

"I swear if you say s'mores the deal's off." I say, pointing a stern finger at my friend. She chuckles and holds her hands up. "Fine." I groan, playfully rolling my eyes. Like hanging out with Ashley is such a task.

"Yay!" She jumps up, clapping her hands together. "I'll go tell Ashley, she's gonna be so excited." She hops off the bed and makes for the door.

"Wait Lex, what time are you gonna be back?" I question.

"I don't know." She shrugs. "With dragonlady I can never tell."

"Well is it cool if I pick up Madison and Aiden from the airport?"

"No way." She shakes her head. "She is not ge-"

"Lexy!" I scold my friend. I really don't understand why they don't like each other. They've never met and I've never told the other something bad that the other one has said about them so really, what's the big deal?

"I'm serious, Spencer!" She points at me.

"And how exactly will you know if I did?" I ask with a raised brow and smirk.

"Oh I'll know." She tells me with narrowed eyes. We stare at each other for a moment before she suddenly smiles, cheery again. What the hell? Did she just like hit a switch or something? "But I'm sure Ashley wouldn't mind taking you." She says before skipping off.

And yes.. I really mean she skipped out of my room.

"I hate you!" I yell after her.

"I love you too." She shouts back.

Great. I have to spend all night entertaining Ashley...

Freaking amazing.

I grab my phone off the nightstand and text Stacy. We kinda had plans tonight. Like we've had every other night this week. I text her that I'm doing Lexy a favor and can't hang out tonight. She texts back a sad face but says it's okay and that I'll have to make it up to her another night.

Awesome. I sigh and toss my phone on the bed, then get up to get ready for my day.

–

"You didn't have to do this." Ashley says as we sit next to each other on the couch. It's so awkward between us right now that I feel like I'm on one of those awkward first dates that your parent's decide it's a good idea to set you up on. You know, with the geeky boy from church. And you spend the whole night with your hands on your laps, stealing glances at each other but neither dare make a move... any kind of move.

Yeah, that's how it is between Ashley and I right now.

"I know." I tell her, turning my head slightly to look at her. "But when have you ever known me to say no to Lexy? When has anyone ever not done something that she's wanted?" I ask and we both contort our faces like we're searching for an answer. Lexy has a way of always getting what she wants.

"Hmph." Ashley says then chuckles. "I guess you've got a point." She adds and I join her in laughter.

"I know right." I say as we both continue to laugh. A few moments later we sigh out of our laughter and she turns her head to look at me.

"Can we stop doing this?" She asks, now turning her whole body to face me.

"Doing what?"

"Disappearing on each other." She replies quickly. "I can't take it, Spencer." She shakes her head. "I can't take it when we don't talk. It kills me."

"It kills me too." I nod. "I just don't know what else to do." I add honestly. She nods, not knowing what else to say on that particular subject. I don't dare bring up the obvious. That we could end all this agony. That we could finally just be together if we could just tell Lexy.

Figure out a way and just tell her. Sure it'll hurt. She probably won't talk to me for a while but, this is excruciating. Wanting her so much and having her so close. So within my grasp and still not be able to really touch her...

It's killing me.

"So... you and Stacy seem to be getting pretty serious." She says after a while of silence. I turn to look at her. She's not going there. I narrow my eyes at her and her lips slowly curl up into a smile.

"Jerk." I lightly push her in the shoulder.

"You're not denying it Spencer." She's smiles, nudging me back.

"Why? You jealous?" I tease.

"You wish." She counters.

"Oh I know." I reply quickly with a smirk.

"Cockiness is so sexy on you." She leans in and whispers to me, her face a mere inch from mine. The closeness of her face catches me off guard and the sharp intake of breathe nearly knocks me backwards. "Annnnd it's gone." She adds with a smile.

Ooooo! She so did that on purpose.

"You little-" I'm not able to complete my sentence as she jumps on me and starts tickling me.

"Little what?" She questions, tickling the life of out me.

No really... I can't breathe.

"You totally did that on purpose you sneak!" I get out through giggles.

"And what if I did?" She asks quirking a brow.

"Stop it!" I chuckle, trying to catch my breath.

"Nope." She says, continuing with the tickle fest.

"I hate you so much right now." I tell her and she stops tickling me. Looking down at me.

"You take that back right now, Spencer Carlin!" She says, trying to sound serious but I can see the smile playing at her lips.

"Or what?" I question with a smirk.

"You don't want to find out." She warns. I'm not scared.

"Nope." I cross my arms as she hovers over my body.

"Okay." She shrugs and gets up to walk away.

Wait that's it? No more tickling? No fight? No anything?

"Where are you going?" I ask.

"To my room. I'm going to bed." She replies nonchalantly. I smile as I pull her back by her shirt to the couch.

"Like hell." I tell her. She giggles as I start to tickle her.

That's how most of the night went. We talked and laughed. Watched TV and laughed some more. I love how easy everything is with her.

I've never felt so comfortable with anyone... not even Lexy or Madison.

In this moment no one else exists but me and Ashley.

I flip through the channels and Ashley giggles as I mumble annoyance at the lack of good television shows late at night.

"Spence leave it on something." Ashley comments as she shuffles further down the couch.

"There's nothing good. I mean what's the point of cable making so many channels if you're not going to put anything on them."

I drop the remote against my stomach as I settle on Animal Planet.

"Kittens!" I shriek in excitement and Ashley groans. I look at her in disbelief. "Do not tell me you don't like kittens."

Ashley just shrugs unimpressed by their tiny faces and tiny paws and all their cuteness. How can you not like kittens?!

"Okay I won't tell you kittens are cute." She's smirking. I hate it when she smirks only because I love it so much.

"Are you blind?! Seriously look at them! Oh no that one fell down." Ashley tosses her head back in laughter as she admires my adorableness. I wasn't trying to be. The poor kitty. "Don't laugh at me." I answer trying to be threatening but it's completely overpowered by my giggles.

What?! I can't help it she's cute when she laughs.

I do the next best thing.

I pout.

"Don't pout." She sighs and shakes her head.

I know I win when she sighs.

"Yay." I say cutely, pumping a fist in the air. She chuckles at me before we both turn back to the TV, watching the cuteness of the kittens as they run around and play.

Don't judge me.

"I wrote you a song." Ashley says, looking down at me as her hand strokes my hair. We're laying on the couch now. Her back is against the arm and I'm laying between her legs as she strokes my hair. We've been this way for the past few hours. Just enjoying each others touch.

"Another one?" I ask in disbelief. It's amazing how many songs she's written about me.

Crazy.

"Mhm." She nods and smiles brightly. "Can I play it for you?" She asks, and for the first time she seems nervous.

"Of course." I nod and sit up, scooting my back up against the other arm rest as she gets up to grab her guitar. She sits back down across from me, positioning the guitar comfortably in her lap.

She strums it a few times, making sure it's in tune. "It's not really-"

"Ashley." I cut her off, already knowing what she was gonna say.

"Huh?" She raises a brow, looking up from her guitar.

"It's gonna be perfect." I smile. She returns my smile and says to play.

The first few chords of the song of the song are beautiful. She looks up at me and smiles and I can't help but smile back lovingly at her.

"_Your hand fits in mine like it's made just for me. But bear this in mind it was meant to be. And I'm joining up the dots with the freckles on your cheeks and it all makes sense to me." _She keeps her eyes focused on mine as she sings.

"_I know you've never loved the crinkles by your eyes, when you smile. You've never loved your stomach or your thighs. The dimples in your back at the bottom of your spine but I'll love them endlessly. I won't let these little things slip out of my mouth, but if I do. It's you. Oh it's you they add up to. I'm in love with you and all these little things." _I smile at the cheesy cuteness of her lyrics, swaying to the music.

"_You can't go to bed, without a cup of Tea and maybe that's the reason that you talk in your sleep. And all those conversations are the secrets that I keep, though it makes no sense to me. I know you've never loved the sound of your voice on tape, you never want to know how much you weigh and you still have to squeeze into your jeans, but you're perfect to me. I won't let these little things, slip out of my mouth. But if it's true, it's you, it's you they add up to. I'm in love with you, and all these little things." _The chords change and I know the bridge is coming. I've watched her play enough to know what comes next. She smiles and continues.

"_You'll never love yourself half as much as I love you. And you'll never treat yourself right darling, but I want you to. If I let you know I'm here for you. Maybe you'll love yourself like I, love you. Oh. And I've just let these little things slip out of my mouth. Cause it's you. Oh, it's you. It's you they add up to. And I'm in love with you. And all these little things." _She strums harder getting towards the end of the song.

"_I won't let these little things slip out of my mouth, but if it's true. It's you. It's you add up to. I'm in love with you and all these little things." _She finishes and I go to clap but stop myself. Taking in the lyrics of the song. My eyes scan hers as she puts her guitar on the floor beside her.

I shake my head.

That can't be what I just heard.

She didn't...

"You..." I trail off, swallowing the lemon in my throat. I close my eyes and feel the couch shift. She's moved closer to me. I take my bottom lip between my teeth.

Her hot breath dances on my cheek as she whispers, "I do." She nods against my skin. "I love you, Spencer." She says and my heart sinks.

This just became so much more complicated.

Not because it's Lexy's girlfriend right now telling me she loves me but because...

"I love you, too." I whisper.

–

Song Used- One Direction- Little Things


	22. Favorite Girl

I freaking loved writing this chapter. I hope you guys enjoy it too! I really loved all the reviews the previous two chapters everyone they make me so happy and I love reading them. This chapter is brought to you by my "apparently amazing sense of humor" and my beta. :)

ageofworry: I totally love kittens. Almost obsessively lol.

BeautyLikeFrozenCathedrals21: Oh wow. I don't think I've ever heard anyone say that before. Maybe future chapters will change your mind.

Ambeezy: Aw I like most of One Directions songs lol. And I love Ed Sheeran too and the fact that him and Harry are best friends.

Ohsoclever1: I think if they would have told her when the feelings first started this story would have ended about ten chapters ago lol

sonfanatic: Don't be so anxious about that :)

Enjoy!

* * *

**Favorite Girl**

I roll over, realizing Ashley is no longer next to me. I groan and sit up. We fell asleep entangled in each other last night.

In case you're wondering...no, nothing happened.

After our little confession we just spent the rest of the night talking.

It was amazing actually.

I'm not sure who fell asleep first, I just know that the tranquility of her arms around me made me feel so... safe.

Complete.

I grab my phone off the table and see I have a few text and a couple missed calls from my mom, Madison and Carmen.

_'I called you bitch. Our plane lands in that God awful city at eight thirty. Don't be late hoe.' _I chuckle and shake my head as I read her next text. _'You better not be hooking up with that Ashley chick. Why aren't you answering my text?'_ And the next. _'Oh so it's like that? Okay, I got you!' _Uh oh, I'm in trouble. I smile as I text her back.

_'I'm sorry, I fell asleep last night. I promise I won't be late getting you guys from the airport. Los Angeles is the best city on earth Mads! And don't you forget it.' _I can already hear Madison going off in Spanish when she reads this text. You see I didn't even attempt to address that Ashley comment. I hit send and throw my phone back on the table. I'm not even gonna read what Carmen sent.

And I'll call my mom back after I've had a chance to wake up.

I'm sure she doesn't want anything anyways.

I sigh and fall back into the couch, remembering me and Ashley's conversation. The replaying of Ashley's words brings a smile to my face.

"Good morning." A raspy voice pulls me from my thoughts. I look up to see Ashley standing in front of me in different clothes, a smile on her face and a tray of food in her hands. This girl seriously has to be a morning person. It's only eight in the morning and she's already showered, dressed, and cooked me breakfast.

Aw.

She cooked me breakfast.

"Good morning." I reply and smile as she sets the tray of food down in front of me on the coffee table.

"I wasn't sure what you'd be in the mood for so I just um... kinda cooked everything we had." She says and nervously plays with her hands. I've never seen Ashley nervous.

Jealous...yes.

Angry...yes.

Nervous...no.

"Everything okay?" I ask, picking up a piece of bacon from the tray and eating it.

"Yeah." She nods, dropping her hands to her side.

"Ashley." I say simply, tilting my head and quirking a brow. I've known her long enough to know when something's wrong.

"Fine." She sighs, closing her eyes. This must be big. "I wanna take you somewhere." She says quickly before turning to walk about into the kitchen.

"Wait, that's it? You're acting like this right now because you wanna take me somewhere?" I ask, holding in a chuckle.

"Yes." She stops, turning back to me and nodding.

"Is that place like horrible or something?" I ask with a raised brow. I mean, what could have her flipping out like this.

"You can say that." She purses her lips, shrugging her shoulders and nodding.

I narrow my eyes at her. "Where is it?"

"Just...somewhere." She replies rubbing the back of her neck nervously before turning to leave again.

"Ashley, if you don't tell me where you're taking me, I'm not going." I stuff the last bit of bacon in my mouth before folding my arms across my chest.

"But I already told them I was coming." She says softly.

"Told who?" I ask confused.

She rolls her eyes and sighs. "My parents." She finally says. She scans my face for a reaction. I don't move a muscle though. Cause right now it seems as though Ashley wants me to meet her parents.

Her parents!

Okay yes I took her to meet mine but that's different.

Completely and totally different.

How you ask?

Well for starters we hadn't just told each other that we love one another the night before.

How about that!

And two... It's her parent's! Ashley hasn't told me a single thing about her parents. Hell, I didn't even know she had parents! Well I knew she had parent's but I didn't know she had...you get my point! Plus she said that she didn't get along with her parent's and now suddenly she wants to take me to meet them?

What the hell?

Anyway, her taking me to meet them feels wrong. Like really wrong. More wrong than professing our love for one another.

Just plain wrong!

"Spencer?" She questions, moving closer to me.

I swallow the lemon in my throat, lifting my gaze from the tray on the table to look at her. "Hmm?" I mumble out absent-mindedly.

"Are you okay?" She questions timidly.

"Yeah." I nod, looking away.

"You're totally not." She comes over, kneeling down in front of me. "I knew I shouldn't have asked. I'm sorry. You don't have to meet them if you don't want it's just that I told my mom I'd come by today a couple of days ago, but I didn't want our day to end so I just figured I'd bring you along with me but it's a bad idea." She nods her head. "I see now that it's a terrible idea and I'm sorry for even-"

"Ashley!" I cut her off, grabbing her face in my hands. She hasn't taken a breath yet. "Breathe." I tell her. She releases a breath and I smile. "It's fine." I assure her with a nod. "I would love to go with you to your parent's house." I smile trying to ease the tension.

"Really?" She questions shyly and I fight the urge to kiss her. She's so cute right now.

"Yes really." I tell her and she smiles.

"Okay. Well you should go get ready." She stands and turns to grab the tray of food from the table. I whine in disapproval. "I'm sure my mom will have a spread of food out when we get there." She rolls her eyes as she walks away.

"What should I wear?" I shout to her retreating figure.

"You look good in anything Spence!" She throws back to me.

I roll my eyes and smile at the brunette.

Oh My God...

I'm gonna meet Ashley's parents...

–

"You don't have to do this. I can turn around and take you home right now." Ashley tells me as we sit outside her parent's massive house. I can see her knuckles turning white as she grips the steering wheel, glancing back and forth from me to the house.

"Ashley, I've told you, it's fine." I smile.

She sighs and bangs her head on the steering wheel once. "Okay." She turns the car off and gets out, walking around to open the door for me.

"Hey, did you talk to Lexy today?" I ask her as we climb the stairs towards the house.

"Yeah, this morning." She nods. "She thinks she's coming in tonight, it could be tomorrow though. She's not sure."

"Did she mention anything else?" I question, wondering if she'd mentioned anything about taking me to the airport.

"No." She shakes her head, turning to look at me. "Why, was there something she was supposed to tell me?"

"It was nothing big, I just needed a ride to-"

"Yes." Ashley nods, cutting me off.

"But I haven't even told you where I needed to go yet." I turn, biting my lip.

"It doesn't matter." She shrugs. "I'd take you anywhere." I can't help the smile that appears at my lips. Ashley has this way of pretty much always saying the right things. We turn to face each other and I suddenly find myself backed into a wall. When did that wall get here? "You know that right?" She whispers, barely audible.

I gulp, "Know what?" I feign ignorance as she she takes her bottom lip between her teeth. She's killing me right now, literally killing me. I suppress a moan and I guess she can tell cause she smiles.

"That I would do anything...go anywhere for you." She leans forward and whispers in my ear. Her breath tickling my ear. I close my eyes and breathe her in. Getting a mixture of roses and gardenia's. There must be a flower bed around here somewhere.

"Ashley." I breathe out. I know she knows what I'm asking. I need to feel her lips on mine right now.

She pulls up from my ear, scanning my face as she leans forward towards my lips. "We're here." She says, inches from my lips, nodding towards the house.

Really?

When did that happen?

I really gotta start paying more attention to my surroundings.

I turn and look up, gasping at the sheer magnitude of the building in front of me. "Your parent's um..." I pause, turning to face her. "There something you wanna tell me?" I ask, quirking a brow.

"Nope." She purses her lips, shaking her head as she feigns ignorance. I stare her down, crossing my arms over my chest as I wait for an answer. "Okay, so my parent's kinda have money." She shrugs.

"Kinda-" I start.

"Come on." She chuckles, cutting me off as she pulls me into the house. "Mom, dad I'm here!" She shouts into the huge house, her voice echoing through the foyer. The shrill of a scream that came from the top of the stairs made me jump and Ashley rolls her eyes and shake her head. "Hi mom." Ashley sighs as the woman descends the stairs.

"Ashley, honey!" A tall, thin, dark-haired woman kisses Ashley on each cheek before turning to me with a smile and open arms. "Ah and you must be Lexy!" She says as she pulls me into a hug, pulling back and kissing both my cheeks as well.

Wait what?!

They've never met Lexy?

I stare at Ashley from the corner of my eye as she practically pulls her mom off me.

"No, mom this is Spencer." She tells her mom, looking down when I turn to face her. How could she have not told me that she's never brought Lexy here? What does this even mean? I thought she was in love with Lexy... if you're in love with someone, after eight months, wouldn't you have brought them to meet your parents by now?

"Spencer?" Ashley's mom backs up, confused.

Hi Ashley's mom, I'm Spencer. Lexy's best friend and Ashley's secret... lover.

"Yeah mom, Spencer." Ashley says, not bothering to explain exactly who I am. I mean how does she explain that really?

"Well hello there Spencer!" Ashley's mom says pulling me into another hug. I see we've got another huger here. Maybe her and my mom can become friends and just hug each other all the time. Maybe then they wouldn't hug other people so much. "I'm Christine Davies, but you can just call me Teenie." She says and Ashley contorts her face in a mixture of disgust and embarrassment.

"No mom, she will not call you Teenie." She shakes her head, rolling her eyes. A tall, thin, dark-haired man appears from the kitchen. I'm assuming he's Ashley's dad because my goodness if she isn't the spitting image of him. "Dad." Ashley breathes out a sigh of relief as she pulls me toward the man.

"Hey sweetheart." He says lovingly, kissing her on the forehead.

"And you must be-"

"No." Ashley shakes her head, cutting him off quickly. "This is Spencer." She tells him and he nods, pulling off a piece of his orange and eating it.

"Well it's nice to meet you, Spencer. I'm Raife, Christine's better half." He smiles at me.

"Funny dear." Ashley's mom chuckles as she walks past her husband, kissing him on the cheek.

"Nice to meet you sir." I offer up my hand but he glances at it, shaking his head before pulling me into a hug.

Great.

More hugging.

Ashley mouth's an 'I'm sorry' to me as her dad finally lets me go.

"There's food in the kitchen if you guys are hungry." He thumbs in the direction he just came from. "She hired a caterer." He adds, shaking his head.

"Thanks dad." Ashley gives her dad another kiss on the cheek before pulling me into the kitchen. "I'm sorry about them." She leans and whispers in my ear. I pull away from her, furious at the fact she never told me one very important detail... the little fact that she's never even brought Lexy, her girlfriend! To meet her parents.

"How could you not have told me you never brought Lexy here?" I question.

"I don't know." She shrugs. "It's not a big deal, Spencer. It's just...not everyone can handle my parents and I didn't want to-"

"To what, Ashley? Nothing you say right now can excuse the fact that you-"

"Are you girls hungry?" Christine interrupts us. I run my fingers through my hair and hold in a sigh, trying not to show how upset I am.

"Yes ma'am." I smile and nod.

"Well there's plenty to eat so dig in." She says gesturing to the massive spread of food across the huge kitchen table.

"Thank you." I smile and she nods and walks away.

"Spence you're not mad right?" Ashley asks once her mother leaves the kitchen.

I turn to her and scoff. "Mad? No." I shake my head. "I'm not mad at the fact that you brought me to your parent's house to meet your parent's even though you haven't even brought your girlfriend, my best friend..." I half shout. "To meet them. Why would I possibly be upset about that?" I ask sarcastically, not even bothering to wait for a reply. I turn and walk towards the layout, checking to see what I want. This has to be the most food I've ever seen in my life at one time.

It'd take a small army to eat this.

Who did Ashley's mom think Ashley was bringing over? A two ton trucker?

"Spencer." Ashley says, coming up behind me as I pile food on to my plate. There's a couple of severs standing around, I'm guessing in case we want anything other than what's laid out for us. Which is pretty much impossible since every type of breakfast slash brunch food known to man is sitting on this table right now. "Spencer don't ignore me." She pleads. But I'm not giving in. I just wanna eat my food and get this day over with. "Spencer seriously, you can't ignore me all day." She says matter-of-factly.

Okay then...watch me.

–

"So Spencer are you in school?" Christine asks as we lounge around the pool. After breakfast we came outside, since it's such a nice day, and we've just been laying around. Ashley has continued to try to talk to me and I've continued to ignore her.

"Yes ma'am." I nod, splashing my feet around in the water. Christine's is on a beach chair to my left, Ashley is in the pool leaning on the wall next to me and Raife is sitting at the table reading today's newspaper. "I go to Tisch." I tell her.

"Well that's wonderful. Did you know that Ashley got in there." She says and I jerk my head around to look at Ashley, who just shrugs. "She sure did." Christine continues. "But she decided to defer for a year to pursue a career in music. Much like her father that girl." I wonder if Ashley would have come to Tisch, would any of this be happening right now? Would she have started dating Lexy? Would we have found each other sooner? Would we be together right now in an uncomplicated fashion? So many questions.

"Your dad's a musician?" I turn back to Ashley and asks. When her lips curl up into a smile I slap my head and realize I just talked to her.

"He was the lead singer in Purple Venom." She tells me, looking satisfied with herself.

"Holy crap, my dad loves Purple Venom." I practically squeal. I hear Raife chuckle behind me.

"I'll sign something for him later then."

"Oh no." I shake my head. "You don't have to-"

"I insist." He cuts me off with a smile.

"Thank you." I return the smile then look back to Ashley. "I'm still not talking to you." I whisper harshly to her.

"Are you there for music, Spencer?" Christine asks, breaking Ashley and I's staring match.

"Photography, actually." I whip my head back around to face Christine.

"She's amazing mom, you should see the pictures she took of me and the band. They're freaking amazing."

"Language honey." Christine chides her daughter.

"Mom I said freaking! Gosh!" Ashley shakes her head and dips her head under the water. "I'm nineteen for goodness sake." She says when her head pops back up. I take this opportunity to dip it back under. When she comes back up she splashes me. I gasp cause I mean, what the fuck? She's in the water and I was clearly only trying to get my feet wet.

"Freaking is still a bad word." We hear Christine say as we splash each other.

"Just leave them alone, Christine." Raife tells his wife. "This is why she never visits." He adds. Ashley and I continue to splash each other with water, acting like a couple of twelve year olds.

"Ashley Francesca called." Ms. Davies says. Whomever Francesca is, it causes Ashley's whole mood to change. She stops splashing me and gets out the water.

"I already told you mom, I'm not doing it." She says rolling her eyes as she grabs a towel from the shelf.

"But I don't understand why honey." Christine presses her daughter for an answer.

"Because I don't want to." Ashley says, almost snapping. She makes sure to keep her tone respectful though.

"Christine don't start this." Raife tells his wife, pulling his paper down from his face to look at her.

"I'm only asking our daughter a question Raife, is that a crime?"

"When you know she doesn't want to talk about it, yeah." He nods. I'm so confused at what's going on here. Who's Francesca and why does the mention of her name make Ashley upset?

"Well I'm just trying to figure out what's going on in our daughters mind, Raife. We barely ever see her and-"

"Do you ever wonder why that is?" Raife snaps, cutting off his wife. I feel like this is a conversation that should be just between family. I pull myself out of the water, watching as Ashley practically stomps her way into the house. I grab a towel off the shelf, intending to follow Ashley when Christine stops me.

"Spencer darling." She calls to me.

"Yes?" I ask, hoping she wouldn't put me in the middle of anything.

"If you were purchased a loft at the Ritz Carlton with your own staff, would you turn it down?" She asks and I seriously don't know what to say. As Spencer Carlin, probably not. But as Ashley Davies... who knows her reasons.

I shake my head as I shrug my shoulders. "I really don't-"

"Christine leave the poor girl out of this, she probably already thinks we have issues." Raife tells his wife. I give him an appreciative smile.

"Don't all families..." I add before turning and heading towards the house. I hear Raife and Christine continuing the conversation. "Hey." I find Ashley in the kitchen, sitting on a stool drinking an Orange Juice.

"I'm sorry I brought you here, I don't know what I was thinking." She says, rolling her eyes.

"It's cool." I wave her off, taking a seat next to her. "Your families really not that bad." I tell her with a smile.

She turns and raises a brow at me. "You haven't met my brother or sister yet. They're in Paris." She shakes her head and sighs. "You ready to go?"

I shrug. "I guess."

"Could you tell my mom and dad that Spencer and I are gone?" She asks one of the maids. The young girl nods and quickly scurries off. "Let's go before my mom comes back." She says grabbing my hand and practically dragging me to the car. Once we're inside she waste no time, cranking it up and pulling off.

"Is this why you never brought Lexy here? You didn't want to see what your family was like?" I ask, turning to face her.

"I don't know." She shrugs, keeping her eyes on the road. "I guess that probably was one of the reasons."

"There's more?" I question.

"Do you really want to get into this right now?" She asks, turning slightly to look at me.

"I guess not." I smile. She's probably been through enough questioning for one day. "Ashley."

"Hmm?" She replies, glancing back between me and the road.

"I wanna see your loft." I tell her with a smile.

"No." She shakes her head. "I don't even go there."

"But I wanna seeeee." I whine. "I mean, it's at the freaking Ritz Carlton."

"Ugh!" She groans. "Of course my mother told you that she rented a loft at the most expensive place on earth. Why am I not surprised?"

"Come on, I've never been and I've always wanted to go. Please." I pout, poking out my bottom lip for emphasis. She glances at me briefly, chuckling at me.

"Put that lip away." She commands, but I don't comply. She glances at me again and rolls her eyes. "Fine." She sighs out. "We'll go see my stupid expensive loft that I never sleep in."

"Yay!" I clap my hands together as she turns around and heads towards the Ritz.

–

Chapter Title- Justin Bieber- Favorite Girl


	23. More In Love With You

****This chapter is brought to you by my amazing beta and my wonderful muse!

I loved all the reviews they had me laughing. Here are a few responses.

YouOutaKnow: Lol I'm sorry, I don't mean to post too fast where people can't review.

tolazytologin: When I first thought of this story, I honestly thought no one would read it because of the fact that theres cheating but I guess I was wrong lol.

SoNFan1604: I can't tell you if you're right or not lol.

Ambeezy: I wanted to make Christine one of those parent's that you love but hate at the same time.

BeautyLikeFrozenCathedrals21: See I told you lol

cdarko: OMG you're Australian? I totally love you now too lol

Annais81: I used to like Justin back when he wasn't such a douche but now... not so much. Madison's coming lol

yobeel: I would say I'm sorry but I'm totally not haha. I'm glad you're reading this and enjoying it. :)

ageofworry: I was saying that Spencer is Ashley's favorite girl.

Enjoy!

* * *

**More In Love With You**

"Who's Francesca?" I ask as we ride the elevator up to her loft. Of course she has the penthouse suite.

"The maid my mom hired me." She shakes her head and rolls her eyes. The elevator dings and the doors open.

"Holy crap." I breathe out as I enter the massive suite. Who wouldn't want to stay here? I glance around taking in the vastness of the place. I think I've seen enough big things today.

"Ms. Davies." An older woman, with pale white skin and gray hair appears from behind a wall.

"Francesca what are you doing here?" Ashley asks walking over to the woman.

"Oh, Mrs. Davies told me to-"

"I don't care what my mom says, Francesca." Ashley shakes her head, putting her hands on the old woman's shoulders. "You don't actually have to come in. You'll still be paid, I promise." Ashley tells the woman.

"Oh no no, I can't do that." She shakes her head.

"Yes you can." Ashley nods. "And you will. Now go home, you have a family you could be with right now."

"But I wouldn't-"

"I'm not taking no for an answer Frannie now go." Ashley shoo's the woman towards the elevator. The woman looks scared, I would be too if I worked for Christine. She's kinda scary. Ashley shows the woman out before heading back in the living room to me. "That's Francesca." She tells me rolling her eyes.

"This place is amazing." I say, looking around. It's so huge and...huge. I grab my camera from my bag and start snapping pictures.

"It's okay." She shrugs and sits down on her red couch. "Do you always carry that with you?" She asks with a raised brow.

And yes.

I did say her red couch.

I know right?

"Duh." I don't even bother turning to face her as I continue to snap pictures of any and everything. "Are you kidding me, this place is-"

"Not me." She cuts me off, patting the spot next to her on the couch. I sigh, wanting to take more pictures but how can I deny Ashley right now? I place my camera down on the table and take a seat next to her on the couch.

"Can I ask you a question?" I turn to her and ask as I sit down next to her.

"Mhm." She nods, pulling me closer to her. My back is now to her front.

"Why don't you want to live here? I get you saying it's not you but I mean, this place is amazing."

"I don't want to owe them anything." She states simply.

"Your mom, is she-"

"Crazy? Pushy? A psycho? Yup." She purses her lips and nods. I chuckle and shake my head.

"She's not that bad."

"Honestly Spencer, she's the worst."

"So you turn down living in this amazing place just because you don't wan to owe your parent's anything?" I question just for clarity.

"It's more than that. I guess I just, I don't want them to feel like I need them, cause I don't I have my own money and my place. I don't-"

"So you live with Lexy like permanently?" I question, cutting her off.

"I mean, I guess. If I'm not staying with one of the guys or Stacy then yeah, I'm at Lexy's." She nods as I turn to look up at her.

"Does Lexy know about this place?" I ask, turning back around.

"No." She replies softly. Of course she doesn't.

"Does she know you're rich, at least?"

"I'm not rich, my parent's are rich. But no, she doesn't know."

"Can I ask you something?"

"Of course."

"Do you love Lexy?" I turn and look up at her.

She bites her lip and sighs. "Yes." She finally says. We both grow quiet, neither of us knowing what to say now. I'm not really sure why I even asked her that. What was the point? "You love Stacy?" She asks, breaking the silence. I can practically hear the smile in her voice.

"Shut up." I turn around and slap her on the arm.

"What I'm just asking." She says holding up her hands in defense. "You totally do don't you?" She questions with a raised brow.

"Ashley Davies, I do not love Stacy." I get directly in her face, inches from her lips. "I love you." I whisper. A smirk creeps onto her lips. Almost like she knew that would make me say it. I take my bottom lip in between my teeth, wanting nothing more than to just kiss her right now.

"Are you gonna kiss me or what?" She questions, snaking her tongue out to lick her lips. It's my turn to smirk now, knowing how much she wants my lips on hers. I should torture her.

Tehe.

"No." I state simply, lifting up from her.

She narrows her eyes at me, deciding if I'm joking or not. When I'm almost completely off of her she grabs me by the collar of my shirt and pulls me back down.

"Kiss me now." She whispers harshly and I can't tell you the things that just did to my body. I lick my lips as she pulls my face in connecting our lips in a lust filled kiss.

The ringing of my phone pulls us out of the kiss. I groan and lift up from Ashley, taking my phone from my pocket. Oh, great! It's Stacy. I hold up my index finger to Ashley and excuse myself to another room. I hear her phone ringing as I walk out. I guess both our girlfriends sensed something.

Wait... is Stacy my girlfriend?

I mean neither of us have officially asked the other person but we all know how lesbians are. We meet one day and we're moving in the next.

"Hey Stace." I answer the phone, trying to sound cheerful.

"Hey baby." She greets me.

"I thought you were hanging with your parents today?" I ask.

"I am. I just wanted to hear my girlfriend's voice for a moment." She says and I can practically hear the smile in her voice.

Oh crap.

I guess she is my girlfriend.

I sigh inwardly. Could this get anymore complicated?

"Aw, babe. That's so sweet."

"I miss you." She tells me and I can't help but feel a little guilty.

I've been so wrapped up in Ashley I barely thought of Stacy. At least not enough to miss her.

"I miss you too."

I'm really upset that I'm getting so good at lying.

She sighs in appreciation to the words I just told her and another onslaught of guilt washes over me.

"Okay well, I gotta go. Talk to you later."

"Okay." I reply and we hang up. I finally release a sigh as I stuff my phone back in my pocket. Under any other circumstance, Stacy would be the perfect girlfriend.

To some other girl...

Some girl that isn't in love with Ashley.

Some girl that isn't me.

I walk back into the living room to hear the end of Ashley's conversation. "I love you too." She tells Lexy and I can't help but feel a tad jealous. "Stacy?" She questions and I sit back on the couch next to her. Oh she doesn't get to be jealous! At least I'm not throwing out 'I love you's' left and right.

"Yeah." I nod. "Lexy?" I question. Like I even have to ask. She only nods. My phone buzzes in my pocket. I take it out thinking it's a text from Stacy. And I'm guessing Ashley did too from the way she backed away from me. I roll my eyes and check my message. "It's from Madison." I say, like I have to explain myself.

_'Bad thunderstorms has our plane delayed until tomorrow afternoon. I'll call you later.' _The text reads.

"Everything okay?" Ashley asks. I look up to her and nod.

"My friends plane just got delayed, that's all." She raises a questioning brow at me. "The ride I needed later, it was to the airport to get them." I tell her and she nods in understanding. "Maybe next time you should listen to my request before you agree to do it." I smile at her. "What did Lexy want?"

"She's staying in Vegas another night with her boss."

"Oh." Is all I can think to say.

"You know I was thinking." She says, pulling me closer to her. "How would you feel about staying here tonight?"

"I thought you never wanted to stay here." I say with a smirk.

"I changed my mind." She shrugs.

It would be nice to hang out with her without feeling even guiltier for being in Lexy's house.

"Okay." I nod and smile.

She bites her lip and nods. "Okay then."

Another night alone with Ashley...great.

–

"Spence you figure out what you want to do yet?"

I just grunt out some form of a response.

I'm too enthralled to use words right now. I flip through the list of amenities in this place. My choices are so vast I don't know which one to do first.

I practically begged Ashley to stay in and indulge on the luxury that is the Ritz Carlton because I mean seriously…this is like a once lifetime chance here.

It's like a Charlie in the Chocolate Factory situation right now.

Best four letter word…

No not love…silly romantics.

It's free!

She doesn't have to pay for any of it. None, nada, zero, zip, niente…okay you got the point.

Nothing.

That was the last one.

So here I am on Ashley's emperor bed…it's too huge to be a king. I swear you can fit the whole Duggar family from that show nineteen kids and counting on this bed…What number is she on anyway? Kid twenty two? That lady needs to get her tubes tied.

Sorry too excited to focus.

I feel her eyes on me and as much as I hate to do it I look up.

Once I see her face I forget why I didn't want to look up sooner.

She's smiling softly at me and I bite the inside of my lip to keep from smiling too wide.

She leans against the front of the bed and buries her fingers in my hair.

I'm on my stomach with my legs crossed at the ankles balanced in the air.

"You figure out what you want to do yet?"

"There's so much I don't know what to pick first!"

And I'm back looking down at my options.

"Well we can do whatever you want. We've got the whole day." She sits next to me and leans over my back, her arm keeping her balanced on the other side of my waist. She places a soft kiss on my head and looks over the list with me. "What were you thinking? There's the gym." I snort and she giggles.

Do I look like I like to work out? "Okay no gym, there's a private screening room we can go see a movie."

I squeal with intrigue. I quickly stop as I notice Ashley cross her legs, the action simple, yet she makes it the sexiest thing in the world. My mouth goes dry as she slips her warm hand under the back of my shirt slowly gliding her hand back and forth.

I look up at her surreptitiously and she just continues her motions as if it's something she's done forever. I look back down at the paper not telling her to stop.

"Oh what about a massage!" I point down at the Spa section and all it's offers.

"I could give you a massage Spence."

She slides her hand a little higher up my back and applies more pressure. The thought extremely appealing…

"Nah I want a big Russian lady with a name like Helga to really get the kinks in my neck out, I've had a really stressful year." She erupts in laughter and I continue to look at all the options. "Thai message, Scrub and Wrap, Four Hand Massage ooooh that sounds like fun, Mud Bath bet it feels weird and amazing at the same time, Drift to Sleep could seriously go for a good nap. Oh Ash exfoliating _with_ a milk bath do you think they use real milk? What if a person was lactose intolerant? Sucks for them huh?" I didn't take a breath that whole time. Don't judge me! You know if you were in my situation you'd be just as excited. "Hey! Jet lag therapy we could do that!" I slam my finger down on the paper in glee as I look up at her.

"We're not jet lag." She states matter of factly.

I smack my lips in protest. "So?!"

Ashley shakes her head at me and smiles. "You're so cute."

I roll my eyes obnoxiously and get up to sit on my knees. Ashley's hand drop from my back in the process and I really don't like my new decided movement.

I count off my fingers at my mental to do list as I tell Ashley what I'd like to do while we occupy her apartment for the night.

"Massage, movie screening, dinner you want to add anything?"

She's looking at me with an arched brow.

"Is there any more hours left in the day?"

I playfully smack her and leap off the bed as I get ready to indulge in my first professional massage…and its free!

"These are the best mashed potatoes ever! They must have grown these potatoes in heaven or something because they are so yummy." I say as I take another bite of my fluffy goodness.

This has to be the best day of my life.

I know people always say that when they have good days but no. This is seriously the best day of my life.

First we went to our massages it was a bit awkward since they thought we wanted a couple massage and in couples massages you see the other person naked. I'm not opposed to seeing Ashley naked and that's the problem.

I'd like to see her naked.

Very much.

I'd like to see her very much naked under me.

See the problem?

So anyway a professional massage is really all it's cracked up to be. Sadly I did not have a Russian lady named Helga but the masseuse I did have…hands of a goddess. I think she massaged me for ten minutes before I passed out and when she was finished I floated off the table.

I did too float!

Then I had the mud bath and I was right it feels strange and amazing all at the same time. Who knew getting dirty actually would help your skin.

Just in case you were wondering…milk baths have real milk in it.

After much persuasion and by much I mean little because it seems Ashley cannot withstand my pouts, side note for future reference, we had our jet lag massage.

I can stand any time difference now! I bet if I go to China I'd be wide awake to eat some lo mein then come all the way back here still seizing the day. But who needs to go all the way to China when you've got Wolfgang Puck and his restaurant just a few floors down.

Can you tell I'm in a good mood?

Cause I am.

"I can't believe you got the chef to make you mashed potatoes in an Asian restaurant."

I just shrug taking another bite.

"I've got good people skills." I answer.

My smirk makes her chuckle. I sigh in awe of the girl across from me.

I love her.

I know I shouldn't but she's amazing, she does things to me. Makes me feel something I didn't even know I could feel. Yeah I loved Carmen but Ashley…she's in a league of her own.

Her voice, her laugh, her personality she's more than I could have ever imagine the perfect person for me would be.

I watch as she narrows her eyes looking at me curiously.

"Why you staring at me?"

"Because you're the most beautiful person I've ever met."

She ducks her head down embarrassed and I just reach across the table linking our hands together.

She whispers a 'thank you' and we go back to our dinner in a comfortable silence.

–

"All I'm saying is that Rose should have sat Indian style or something. There was plenty of room on that door."

The elevator dings and I walk out in a huff. Ashley's laughing behind me and I see nothing funny about this situation.

"You've seen this movie before why do you still get upset when Jack dies?"

We just saw Titanic at the screening. It was the one with alternate ending.

Apparently the ending… not so alternate.

"It was an alternate ending!"

She laughs at me as I through my hands up in the air.

I'm pouting.

Freaking Rose.

Ashley walks towards me and wraps her arms around me. I do the same without any thought and sigh.

"It's all Rose's fault." She coos and I petulantly throw in a 'yeah'.

She buries her hand in my hair and nuzzle my face into her neck. It's even smoother because of the mud bath and then the milk bath.

"I know what will make you feel better."

–

"So no one told you life was gonna be this way…" We clap in time with the theme song as another episode of friends comes on the television.

The television by the way is hidden in the dresser and Ashley had to press this tiny remote to make it come out.

We're on our second episode and she's right, I do feel better.

It's not the show though, even though FRIENDS is awesome.

Lying in her arms seems to be my greatest source of comfort.

I'm nestled into her side as she lightly grazes my arm.

I can hear her heartbeat and it puts me even more at ease as it reassures me she's not a figment of my imagination.

I didn't dream up this perfect girl.

She's here with me, our legs tangled together as we lie on her bed.

Things cannot get anymore perfect.

I don't know what comes over me.

Maybe it's the amazing day, maybe it's this moment, or maybe my lips no longer follow my brain's orders as I gently drag them over the nape of her neck.

She groans in pleasure and it eggs me on more as I place a firmer kiss.

"Whatcha doin?" She asks, I can hear the smile in her voice, but I don't bother to answer as I drag the tip of my tongue slowly up her neck and gently suck on her pulse point.

She hisses and it makes the bottom of my stomach warm slightly.

I smoothly shift my body to lie on top of hers and her hands grip my waist.

I look down at her and her eyes have become a little bit darker. I'm sure mine are as well.

She pushes some of my hair from my face and guides my head down.

Our lips quickly fuse together and Ashley wastes no time in sliding her tongue against my bottom lip asking for entrance which I quickly grant.

One of us moans at the contact of our tongues. Maybe it was both of us, but I can't think right now as she gently sucks on my tongue.

I would curse right now at how good this feels but my mouth a little preoccupied.

We break apart to catch our breaths and I bite her bottom lip softly and see her smirk.

She masterfully flips our positions and I wasn't turned on before I sure as hell am now, as she pins both my hands above my head, sliding her free one under my shirt.

She drags her nails down the smooth skin of my stomach and I whimper a little at the absence of her lips.

She remedies that by capturing my lips again and my whole body is buzzing.

She slips her leg between mine and the pressure of her thigh against the ache between my legs sends off jolt of electricity.

I grind my hips into her as we continue to lose ourselves even deeper into each other.

I swallow the moans that erupt from her mouth and she moves her mouth to assault my neck. She kisses her way down and the hand she had under my shirt changes direction, moving south and I quickly snap my eyes open.

What the _fuck_ am I doing?!

What the fuck are WE doing right now?!

She feels my body tense and I guess she reads my mind and realizes what we're doing is wrong as well. She quickly pushes herself off of me and then sits up on her knees. She rubs her palms against her thighs. One of which I was just grinding on.

I'm so fucked!

And not it a good way.

The laughter from the television show fills the silence between us and I glare at the TV.

Oh fuck you FRIENDS!

Ashley sighs and backs up completely off the bed. I pull my knees up to my chest, forcing my body to calm down.

I feel like I could explode at any moment and the look on Ashley's face is saying she does too.

"Let's do something else." She says quickly, turning towards the TV. Apparently FRIENDS is an aphrodisiac of some sort.

"Yeah." I nod, jumping up from the bed. I look around the room, searching for something...anything that could take my mind off how much I want her right now.

Actually I don't think want is the proper word.

I'm craving her. Every part of her. I don't think I've ever wanted anyone this bad.

"I can't be near you." She whispers. I look up at her and she shakes her head. Her eyes shut tightly as she takes her bottom lip between her teeth.

"Ashley." I breathe out and step closer to her. I'm still a good ten feet away but her eyes snap open and she throws herself back into the wall like being near me would cause her to spontaneously combust or something.

"Seriously Spencer." She pleads as she holds up a hand, stopping any further movement from me. I try to get control of my breathing as I watch her lick her lips. "Let's do something else." She says again.

"We've done everything." I point out. Well, not everything. But everything we wanted to do.

"Let's go swimming then." She says in a raspy tone. My eyes flutter shut at the sound.

Have I mentioned how much I love her voice?

"I don't want to." I reply.

"Then how about..." She trails off, I open my eyes to see hers still closed. I take a step towards her. "Don't Spencer." She says, not even having to open her eyes to know I'm moving closer to her.

"I can't take this." I tell her honestly. It's so hard to crave her so much and not be able to indulge in all that is Ashley.

"Your camera." She says suddenly, her eyes shooting open.

What?

"Huh?"

"Your camera." She says again, kicking herself up from the wall and side stepping her way past me towards the door. "Can I see the pictures you took?" She asks.

Really, right now? We're gonna look at pictures.

"Sure." I shrug and hold in a sigh. Not exactly what I want to be doing right now but...

–

"Oh wow, these are amazing." Ashley says as she goes through the pictures on my camera. "It's crazy how you can take these cold hard walls and make them feel so homey in a picture. You're truly amazing Spencer." She smiles. I opt to just return a smile, not trusting my mouth at the moment. I feel like I could leap forward at any moment and attack her with kisses. "Is it okay if I check out the photos you took of the band?" She asks and I nod. "Holy crap Spencer, these are..." She trails off, getting lost in my work. Although photography is something I know I'm good at because it's my whole life, it still feels amazing when someone as artistically inclined as Ashley gives me praises.

"Thank you." I finally say.

"And she speaks." Ashley jokes, lightly pushing me. "I was beginning to think you'd gone mute on me." She adds with a huge grin.

"Well you rendered me speechless, what can I say?" I reply sarcastically.

"It's what I do." She shrugs.

"You are so full of yourself." I retort, grabbing my camera from her hand.

"Hey!" She shrieks. "But I wasn't done yet." She pokes out her bottom lip and I shake my head.

"Totally doesn't work on me. That's my move Davies." I wink at her as I get up from the couch.

"Is it now?" She yanks me back down on the couch, climbing on top of me.

"Oh my God Ashley no!" I practically yell as her hands go up. I already know what's about to happen. I place my camera on the couch so my baby wouldn't be hurt in what I know is about to be a throw down.

"Don't what?" She questions with a smirk and raised brow.

"I swear if you lay one finger on me you'll regret it." I warn her.

"Is that right?" She narrows her eyes at me, readying her hands to tickle the life out of me. Before her hands reach me, I flip us over and pin her hands above her head. "What the-"

"I told you." I smirk.

"How in the hell did you just do that?"

I shrug, brushing it off. "It was easy lightweight." I smile down at her, our eyes connecting briefly. You don't even understand how badly I wanna kiss her right now. She licks her lips in anticipation. I bring one of my hands down from above her head to cup her cheek.

She sighs. "Maybe we should just go to sleep." She suggests. I sigh and climb off of her.

As much as I hate it. I know that nothing can happen between us tonight. Or any other night for that matter.

Not right now.

Not with her still in a relationship with my best friend.

This all is just so wrong...

But what's even worse is that it feels so _right. _

–

Chapter Title- Jason Reeves- More In Love With You


	24. Princess Charming

I wanna thank everyone for the reviews last chapter. I really appreciate them. :) For everyone suggesting songs, thank you so much but I have already completed the story so I already know all the songs I'm gong to use. But thanks a lot really. I hope you enjoy the chapter.

You guys are really awesome btw. Oh and I just wanted to clear up that the song I use sometimes as the chapter title may not necessarily go completely with the chapter. The title of the song may just fit.

* * *

**Princess Charming**

I stir awake, gliding my hands over the cool covers in search of Ashley. I stretch my arm as far as it can go before I safely decide she's gotten out of bed already. I sigh as bury my face in this extremely soft pillow.

I really don't want to leave.

Like ever.

Reality sucks ass. It's sucking my Ashley time away.

Ashley time equals fun time. I groan and roll over quickly grabbing my chest in horror as I see Ashley kneeling on my side of the bed.

"Ah ya creeper!"

She just giggles as she lifts the covers and climbs in next to me. Fully dressed may I add.

Clothes suck ass too.

I'm making a list.

Reality, clothes, and morning breath sucks ass because all I want to do right now is devour her lips as she smirks at me.

"I didn't mean to scare you." She apologizes and everything is all better as she pulls me closer to her and we tangle our legs together. She's got on a pair of jeans on and the material feels good against my bare legs. I slide my foot up and down her covered leg and she leans forward to kiss me.

Take cover!

I bury my face into the white feather stuffed pillow and Ashley's lips come in contact with my hair. She pushes some of the hair away from my neck and places gentle kiss up and down.

"No fair." I mumble.

"What's not fair is you denying me your very kissable lips."

Wow she's good I barely understand myself as I bury my face further into the pillow. Musician's ear I suppose.

I lift my head up and pout and she pecks my bottom lip quickly. She tosses her head towards the bathroom and I quickly get up and jump over her body.

Though our stay here completely spontaneous, this place came fully equipped; toiletries, and wardrobe good thing Ashley and I are relatively the same size, though I wouldn't be opposed to sleeping in the same bed naked.

I'm just throwing ideas out here.

I freshen up and dash back into the bedroom. My mouth drops as I notice she's gone.

There's only so many places she can be so I make my way to the door and turn the knob.

My brows furrow in confusion. I turn it the other way and it doesn't budge. I jiggle the handle and nothing.

I knock on the door feeling ridiculous because who the hell knocks on the door from inside a room.

Well someone who is locked in first of all.

I hear Ashley's voice right away. "Who is it?" Her voice playful and I can practically hear her stifling her laugh.

"Oh ha very funny Ashley, open the door."

"Uh…can't."

I quickly panic. I'm trapped!

"What do you mean you can't?"

"Well I can but not right now. I've got a surprise for you and it's not ready yet and I don't want you to come out here until its done."

Oh HELL no!

"What?!"

"Yeah so just sit tight and I'll let you out soon. I don't want to ruin the surprise."

"Ashley!" I shout out quickly before she disappears

"Yeah?"

Oh I thought she left. Huh.

Her voice is closer she must've gotten closer to the door and I lean my head against it.

"You gotta let me out of here."

"Spencer relax you'll be fine."

"What if I run out of air?!"

I'm dead serious.

This is no joking matter and she's chuckling right now.

"Then go out onto the balcony."

I look to the other side of the room and see the doors that lead out to a decent sized balcony. This place is freaking awesome. It's got lounge seats with pillows and a table and the view breathtaking.

"This is a hostage situation! You cannot hold me here against my will, I demand you let me out this instant Ashley Davies. I'm not cut out for imprisonment."

She's laughing again and I stomp my foot petulantly. Good thing she can't see me because I'm about to go into tantrum mode.

I clench my fists and pout as if this combination would magically open the locked door.

"Spencer you've got a fifty inch high definition flat panel television, DVD _and_ a Blu-Ray player, bookshelf of movies, a Jacuzzi tub, and a giant ass bed, I don't really think you can consider yourself living a hard knock life."

"Are you going all Kathy Bates in Misery on me? Are you going to hobble me?!" I grab my knees in mild horror.

"Why on earth would I damage those sexy legs?"

"Good point." I say as I look down at my legs smiling at how nicely they have colored since my arrival. I get over the scene quickly and go back to my task of getting out of here. "This is wrongful imprisonment Ashley! I want out."

Okay maybe I'm exaggerating a little bit but I don't want to be by myself, Lexy comes back tonight and Madison will be flying in today and there's only so much more alone time left with Ashley.

Call me selfish but I need my Ashley time before her girlfriend comes and rightfully claims her once again.

"Too bad. I promise it's worth it just sit back and relax. I'm going to be right out here so if you need me well, just shout."

"Ashley!"

"Just like that…see getting the hang of it already. Be back soon love you." I can hear as she walks away and glide my feet against the soft carpet and drop back onto the bed. It's like sinking into a marshmallow.

I roll around in the covers restless and growing frustrated. My phone brings me out of my pity party.

Boo phone I was enjoying my wallowing.

I untangle myself from the covers with a lot of effort. I tried my best not to panic, I almost drowned in all the covers. I'm already a prisoner the last thing I need is to die of suffocation. I grab my phone off the side table and smile at the number.

I clear my throat and answer the call.

"Hey you reached Spencer can't get to the phone right now so leave a message and I'll call back."

I smirk as Madison quickly assumes that I'm actually my voice mail.

"Bitch your ass is never going back to LA, apparently you forget how to answer your damn phone. If I call your dumb ass one more time and you don't pick up all fucking hell is going to break loose. Don't test me Spencer I've been stuck in the airport all damn night and I do not…" She stops at my laughter. "Asshole."

"I miss you too Mads. What's up?" I roll of the bed successfully landing on my feet and walk towards the balcony. In prison they call this yard time…I step out into the LA sun and I nod in acceptance.

I don't hate yard time.

"I'm just calling to let you know that we finally got a freaking boarding time. We are heading out in an hour. It's a sign."

"Madison it is not a sign you better get your butt over here. You promised."

"I don't recall this how do you call it…promise? I don't think you know what they are yourself because I mean you promised to speak to me every day and the amount of times I heard from you I can count on one hand."

I settle onto the lounge chair and lean back comfortably. "I know Mads I'm sorry things have just been…hectic."

"Well I've got an hour to kill. So that gives you one hour to explain yourself or the first thing I'm going to do when I see you is slap you upside the head."

"No hug?" I whine.

"After the slap now start."

Where do I even begin?

"Well right now I'm locked in a hotel room because apparently Ashley has this surprise for me that I'm not allowed to see because it's not finished."

"Wait she's surprising you with stuff? Say word Spencer's got a sugar mama."

I laugh and shake my head. Of course that is what Madison notices and not the fact that I'm a prisoner.

"I do not have a sugar mama. She's just…being nice."

"Spencer, spare me the bullshit."

I roll my eyes. "Fine so I'm afraid things have gotten worse, but amazing at the same time. Lexy went away with her boss."

"Does that mean I don't have to see the bitch?"

"She comes back today Madison." I stifle a giggle. I really don't know where all this hostility is from.

"What the hell was the point of you getting my hopes up then, ass? Continue." I do as I am told being the good and respectful friend that I am…Do not quirk your brow at me with the good and respectful.

Anyway I give Madison a play by play of the last two nights. How Ashley and I spent the first night together, then how we confessed our love for each other."Hold the motherfucking phone! What?!"

I squirm a little uncomfortable. It's like I can feel Madison's eyes boring holes into me all the way from JFK.

"Yeah we sorta said I love you, she sang me this song…"

"Another one?" Her unimpressed tone makes me a little defensive but Madison scares me a little so I don't dare retort.

"Yes another one and it was so honest and she told me in the song she loved me and I couldn't not say anything back especially when I love her too."

I can practically hear her shaking her head. She stays silent and I continue on with my extremely crazy two days. How we fall asleep on the couch holding each other. How Ashley woke up the next morning breakfast. Then meeting her parents.

"Holy shit."

"I know." Is my response before I reveal the twist. "Lexy's never met them."

"What the fuck?!" She shouts and I have to pull my phone from my ear.

"Babe stop being so damn loud." I hear a muffled voice.

"Hi Aiden!" I shout and I hear him greet me. Aw I miss him.

"Spencer focus." Madison tells me and I get back on track.

"Yeah so Lexy never met her parents or knows that Ashley's rich or at least her parents. Who are cool but a tad crazy but what family isn't right? I mean they got into the huge argument in front of me about Ashley having this badass suite but not staying in it at the Ritz which is freaking awesome and we had a spa day and spent another night together. But as of right now I'm currently serving time in the bedroom due to this surprise."

"From your sugar mama."

"She's not my sugar mama!"

The line is silent and I'm really hoping she doesn't call me out on it.

"You're not telling me something."

Shit. How the hell does she do that?

"We kinda almost slept together last night. Nothing too crazy!" I cut in…more so for my guilty conscience than Madison's relief. "It was just some intense making out with the intention but we stopped."

I let out a slow breath to calm my jumbled nerves. Madison is quiet. That's bad…she's never quiet. Loud, pushy, blunt but never quiet.

"Well Spence you're fucked."

See told you blunt.

"Tell me something I don't know. What do I do Madison?"

"Spencer what do you want to do?"

My heart pounds at this question because I know what I want. I know what I need.

I just never admitted it out loud.

"I want to be with Ashley."

"Spence…you already are." I close my eyes and sigh. "Sure this situation is messed up but really everything between you two is way too strong to ignore. If you want to take the risk I'll be your side no matter what you choose, but know there is a risk."

"Madison…" I call out to her and my voice fails me. It's weak and fragile and the reveal of the truth is suffocating and freeing at the same time.

"I know sweetie. No matter what though everything will turn out how it's supposed to. "

A knock on the glass door that leads to balcony grabs my attention and I turn to see a smiling Ashley leaning against it. Her smile reassures me that she didn't hear any of this conversation and I'm relieved.

"Mads text me your flight info and I'll see you tonight."

She reluctantly says goodbye and I face Ashley with a huge grin on my face.

"Warden."

She smirks and holds her hand out to me. I get up and connect our hands. "You've been let out early for good behavior." She jokes as she pulls me in front of her and something covers my eyes.

"I'm being kidnapped too!"

She chuckles. "Stop it Spence, I just want you to see your surprise at the last second."

"Taking charge Davies, I like it."

"Do you now?" Her lips brush against the shell of my ear and I gulp trying to moisten my fast drying throat. I let out a shaky breath and she places a hand on my lower back and guides me out of the room and through the hall.

We are walking slowly and my hands outstretched in front of me even though Ashley is guiding me I'm still scared to fall.

Or you know...run into a wall or something.

We stop and she rests her hands on my shoulders. "Okay ready?" Her voice is a little shaky and she seems to be nervous. What the hell did she get me? She takes off the blindfold that she put on my eyes before we the left the bedroom and I blink my eyes a couple of times to adjust to the brightness of the room. My eyes go from blinking to not blinking at all. "I had to lock you in while the delivery guys brought this in. It would be kind of hard to be subtle with these."

My mouth hangs open as I turn in a circle and see my pictures blown up in sixteen by twenty tangible photos. The gloss impeccable I've never seen my pictures so big. They are all taller than me and Ashley standing on top of her shoulders.

They are almost touching the ceiling.

"How?" Is the only word I manage out.

"My dad knows some people I kind of put a rush order on some stuff after I sent the selections via email. They got it out perfectly."

I raise my hand to cover my mouth as I fall deeper into shock.

I can't speak but I feel myself move closer as I go to examine the pictures Ashley has chosen to have printed.

I smile as I see a photo of Madison, Aiden and Me taking obnoxious bites of Nathan's hot dogs standing in front of the cyclone. A lump forms in my throat as emotions wash over me realizing just how much I miss my friends.

There's a picture of Mrs. Williams from the photo shoot the other day as she dangles her feet in the water, a soft smile dances on her lips as she happily watches Joey dunk Mikey's head under the water in her pool.

Another a close up of Ashley's face the first day we snuck into the garden.

My heart is racing as I fall more in love with this girl. I can't believe she did all this.

I choke up more as I see a picture of my parents that I took as my father holds my crying mother at my going away party last year.

There's the Leaving Brooklyn Sign that says Fuhgeddaboudit.

I look at the final picture but I don't remember taking this one. I couldn't have taken this one since I'm sleeping in it. I close my eyes at the picture it's so overwhelming. I open up my eyes again as I see a picture of my sleeping form with Ashley holding me her eyes closed.

"So I hope you don't mind that I used your camera." Anyone else yes but her…not in a million years. I still don't know what words are so I just shake my head. "There's more."

"What?!" I squeak out she just smiles and pulls me towards the couch. We sit down and my eyes dance around at all the pictures that are encircling us.

"Well my dad again has a curator friend in New York and I spoke with him after you fell asleep last night, I raved about you and sent him some of your work as well and he was so impressed that he said when you get back at the end of summer he wants to discuss what work you'd like to put up at the Yossi Milo Gallery."

I think I've gone into shock.

I'm not moving.

I'm not even sure if I'm breathing.

I open and close my mouth but I probably look like an idiot since nothing is coming out, but I honestly couldn't care less because I've just received the best news any professional photographer wants to hear and I'm still a student.

A soft touch on my cheek brings me back to life and apparently I'm crying as Ashley wipes a tear that has somehow escaped.

"I…I..." Say something you fool. "I don't know what to say."

She leans forward and places a soft kiss on my lips.

"You don't have to say anything Spencer, you're amazing at what you do and the world deserves to see great talent like yours."

My heart is going to explode…any minute now.

"I love you." I tell her as I pull her closer to me hungrily taking her lips into mine as I try and show her how grateful I am in this one gesture. She receives the message as she kisses back with the same exuberance as if she were telling me I were welcome.

"There's more." She says pulling back as her chest rises and falls in dramatic fashion. We're both trying desperately to catch our breath's which seems nearly impossible right now.

"More?" I groan. She's clearly already done enough.

A smile creeps on to her lips. "Just breakfast." She shrugs. She holds out a hand for me to take and leads me into the kitchen.

"This is a buffet." I point out. She chuckles a little.

"Yeah."

"Ashley I'm one person. I can't eat all this." I smile and take a seat at the table. A young boy in a red waiter's outfit is standing by the fridge. "What's he doing here?" I lean over and whisper to her.

"For anything you need." She whispers back.

"Ashley, I can take care of myself." I roll my eyes playfully at her.

"I know." She nods, sitting down next to me. "But he came with the food so..."

"Ashley, let him leave." I tell her with a smile as I pop a strawberry in my mouth.

OH MY GOD!

Best. Strawberry. Ever.

"Jacob was it?" She turns to the boy and asks.

"Oh, um yes ma'am." The boy nods nervously.

"Would you like to join us for breakfast?" She questions and he immediately shakes his head.

"Oh no ma'am I-"

"I'm not taking no for an answer Jacob." She smiles, gesturing to the seat across from us. The boy stands motionless, glancing from the seat to us.

"She doesn't take rejection well Jacob." I tell the boy eating another strawberry from heaven.

"It's true, I don't." Ashley nods. The boy apprehensively walks over to the stool and sits down. "Now that's more like it." She says handing him a plate. I turn and smile at her as she piles the boy's plate up with food he probably helped prepare. Words can't even begin to express how much this girl means to me.

Did I mention how much reality sucks?

Oh I did?

Well let me tell you again then.

It sucks!

Because I know that in a couple of hours this will all be over and I'll go back to Stacy and her to Lexy.

I wish this... right here and now with her... was my reality.

–

Chapter Title- Megan & Liz- Princess Charming


	25. From New York To LA

Yay Madison's here! I really appreciate all the reviews. Hope you guys like this chapter filled with all things Madison.

Enjoy!

* * *

**From New York to California**

"Where's this Ashley chick and why are you driving her car?" Madison asks me as we drive to my parents house.

"For the fifth time Madison, she was supposed to take me to the airport to get you guys but she had some band business to take care of suddenly, so she gave me her car and took Lexy's."

"Oh, the best friend from hell." Madison says and rolls her eyes.

"Madison you're gonna have to try to get along with Lexy. At least pretend." I chuckle and shake my head at my friend.

"Yeah, that's not happening." Aiden says from the backseat.

"Nope, sure isn't." Madison says folding her arms over her chest.

"Well it's gonna be kind of hard for us to all hang out if-"

"Whoa!" Madison shrieks, turning in her seat to face me. "I never said I would hang out with that chick, I'm here to see you. Not extra hoes." Madison says seriously and I can't help but burst into laughter.

"She's not that bad Mads." I shake my head and continue to chuckle.

"Mhm."

"Really, she isn't." I assure my friend.

"Just give the girl a chance Madison." Aiden chides his girlfriend.

Madison scoffs and turns around abruptly in her seat. "Would you like to go back to New York single?" She asks Aiden with a raised brow and he quickly shakes his head. He's knows she's not joking. I chuckle at her as she turns back around.

"Put your seat belt on." I command.

"You don't look like Marisol Angelis Daurte to me." She says completely ignoring my request for her to do the safe thing and put on her seat belt.

"Okay, if you die." I shrug, glancing at her then back at the road.

"A little dramatic aren't we?" I just shrug. "Fine!" She says after a moment with a huff. She snatches the seat belt from it's position above her right shoulder and snaps it in. "Happy?" She asks harshly.

"Very." I smile.

"Works every time." Aiden chuckles from the backseat.

–

"Mom!" I shout into the house. I told her that Madison and Aiden were coming today and she completely went nuts, talking about taking off of work and what not. I'm like seriously mom? You'll take off work to spend time with my friends that you've never met but you won't take off to come to New York to visit your own daughter?!

So anyways, I talked her out of it because lets face it...you've met my mom. She can be super awesome but she can also be super annoying.

"I'm in here, Spencer!" She shouts from the kitchen.

"Yo, little sis." Glen comes down the stairs eating a bag of chips.

I roll my eyes as I show Aiden where to put his and Madison's suitcases. "Go away, Glen." I tell my brother as he follows us to the kitchen.

"Who's the hottie?" He asks and Madison scoffs.

"My girlfriend." Aiden pipes up.

"Excuse my brother guys, he was born without a brain. We get monthly checks and everything." I tell my friends in the most serious tone I could muster. They both chuckle as we reach the kitchen. "Ma tell Glen to stop being a creeper and hitting on my friends." I whine we enter the kitchen.

"Glen stop hitting on, Aiden is it?" My mom looks up and asks.

"Yes ma'm." Aiden chuckles.

"Mom!" Glen shrieks. "I was hitting on the girl, not the boy!" He shakes his head and scoffs before walking out the kitchen in a hurry.

I giggle at my mom. "Why'd you think he was hitting on Aiden?" I question, taking a seat on the stool.

"I didn't." She shrugs and shakes her head. "But I knew if I said it, it would get him to leave." She laughs, placing the pan of cookies on the cooling rack.

"Nice one." I commend my mom. "Mom this is Aiden and Madison, guys this is my mom." They both smile and shake my moms hand.

"I made cookies for you guys." She squeals, clapping her hands together.

Annnnd

Welcome back annoying mom.

"I love cookies." Aiden smiles, reaching over to grab one. My mom slaps his hand away.

"These need to cool, young man." She tells him with a stern finger. Aiden pulls his hand back and rubs it.

"Hurts doesn't it?" I chuckle and Madison joins in.

"So what are we doing today?" My mom asks and my head immediately whips back to her.

"Say what?" I question.

"Today, what are our plans?" She asks enthusiastically.

Oh helllllll no.

"Um... mom what makes you think I, a nineteen year old college student wants to hang out with my friends I haven't seen in a month and my mother?" I ask. She shrugs and walks around the counter.

"Because you told me your friends were coming so I assumed you wanted me to hang out with you guys." She smiles.

"No." I shake my head, hoping down off the stool. Madison and Aiden just stare at the pair of us in amusement. "I told you, to let you know they were coming." I say.

"Right." She nods. "So we can all hang out."

"Nope." I shake my head again. "So you'd know they were coming, as in to your house, as in to stay here for the duration of thier trip." I clarify.

"Oh!" She says, throwing her head back in a fit of giggles. "My mistake." She waves me off when she calms down. I turn to my friends with a raised brow. Is my mom serious right now? "Well we can all still hang out anyways." She shrugs and starts to walk off.

"No no, mom." I stop her. "Aiden, Madison and myself are gonna go hang out. That's it. No parent's." I tell her.

"I heard you." She nods, turning to walk away again.

"So where are you going then?" She stops and turns back to me.

"To get ready." She turns to walk away again.

"But mom I just said-"

"To go to work Spencer." She chuckles.

Oh.

That little...

"You never planned on going with us, did you?" I narrow my eyes at her.

She purses her lips and shakes her head, a smile creeping out. "Nope. I'm on until eleven." She says before turning to walk away again.

"Real funny ma!" I shout to her retreating figure.

"It's nice to know how you feel about spending time with your mother though." She shouts back and I can practically hear the smile in her voice.

"I like her." Madison says, with a smile on her face as I walk back over to them and sit down on the stool. Aiden leans over and grabs a cookie from the tray.

"My mom's gonna-

"Ow!" He screams, dropping the cookie on the counter in front of him. Madison and I both stare at him with a raise brow. "Damn cookie is hot." He says, putting his injured fingers into his mouth. Madison and I chuckle at him.

"That's what you get." Madison tells her boyfriend.

"So what are we doing today?" Aiden asks as he plays hot potato with the freshly baked cookie. I don't see why he can't just wait until they're cooled down.

"I was thinking maybe we could hit up In and Out burger, maybe go to the Pier and then the beach?" I suggest to my friends. Aiden nods as he eats the burning hot cookie but Madison... well Madison looks unimpressed.

"Sounds boring to me." She shrugs and hops off the stool.

"No it doesn't." I counter.

"Yes it does. But what can I expect, this is L.A after all." She retorts.

"Don't mind my girlfriend." Aiden shakes his head and rolls his eyes at her. "She's just a bitter old hag right now." He adds, eliciting a slap from Madison.

"I am not!" Madison shrieks. "First of all, I'm not a big red meat eater, I don't wanna go to some stinky Pier and I absolutely hate the beach." She folds her arms over her chest.

"You love steak Mads, it's your number one favorite food, we go to Coney Island like every other weekend and your parent's practically live in the Hampton's during the summer. It's all beach pretty much."

"Well then I hate sand." She tries. Aiden and I burst into laughter.

"No one hates sand Madison." I shake my head as I laugh at my friend.

"Mhm, I do. It's all...sandy and gross."

"Oh I'm sorry baby I guess it didn't get the memo that even though it's sand, it shouldn't be so sandy." Aiden quips and it causes me to laugh even harder and earns him a punch in the arm. He rubs his arm as he laughs as his girlfriend. She pouts and he quickly kisses it away.

Aw.

That makes me miss, Ashley.

Sigh.

"Well how about this, I just don't want to go." Madison says.

"Oh you're going." I tell her.

"No." She shakes her head. "I think I'll just stay here and watch some TV."

–

"I can't believe you two made me come here." Madison sighs as we walk along the Pier. We had to pretty much drag her out of my parent's house and into the car. She fought the entire way, kicking and screaming. And when we went into In and Out Burger, people were staring at us. She kept saying 'Let me go, I just wanna go home.' I think people thought we were trying to kidnap her or something.

What kidnappers would bring the person they kidnapped into a restaurant with them?

A restaurant full of people.

People that can call the cops.

Aiden finally got her to calm down enough for us to eat our food and actually enjoy it without people staring at us.

Of course she tried to pretend like she didn't like it. But the emptiness of her tray told another story.

"It's not that bad babe. Why don't you just try to have a good time?" Aiden sighs. I think Madison's mood is bringing him down.

"It's not Coney Island." She mumbles. Aiden and I can only chuckle at her.

"How about we play some games?" I suggest.

"Sounds good." Aiden nods. He runs off quickly to one of the shooting games. The one where you gotta shoot the star out of the middle. I freaking hate that game…only cause I suck.

Madison and I stagger back and stay silent for a minute. I do my sad sigh and I know she'll wear down.

I hear her sigh obnoxiously and try not to smile.

"I'm not going to apologize for my behavior so wipe that smirk off your face."

I quickly pull my lips into my mouth forming a thin line hiding my smirk.

"So what's the deal?"

If anyone else were to start off a conversation like that I'd be so lost. Madison just knows how to get her point across, or you just make sure you know what's she's talking about because you do not want to be on the receiving end of that attitude when you don't.

"Since you refuse to meet Lexy…" I ignore the gag face she does. "I don't know how you'll meet Ashley. Lexy is always around."

I swear maybe if they just met each other they'd get along

Or Fight.

My money is on Madison!

Sorry Lex.

"I'm sure you'll find a way…so what are you going to do?"

Geez Barbara Walters ask some harder questions, I don't think you're grilling me enough.

I sigh and rub the back of my neck nervously. I smile as Aiden point towards one of those minion guys from Despicable Me and walks over to us.

Madison jumps slightly as Aiden hits her on the arm with the yellow creature's goggle covered eye.

"Thanks baby now go play another game." She quickly dismisses him and reaches out for the stuffed doll but he holds it away.

"Uh get your own." He chuckles as he hugs the very large guy close to his body.

Madison glares at him and he pops his eyebrows up once not backing down. She sucks her teeth.

"I got you Aiden, trust." He glances at me nervously. He probably should sleep with one eye open tonight. I just shrug and he leaves to go play another game. Probably to win something for Madison to get out of the hole he dug himself in. "Anyway like I was saying…" She leaves the sentence open for me to continue where I left off.

I'd prefer if she forgot because honestly…

"I don't know."

"Well you need to figure it out for your sake Spencer. How long are you going to be doing this shit? You love her, she loves you then what? You guys play Danny Zuko and Sandy in the shadows until you leave then…"

Ugh her and her logic and her Grease reference because really? Grease?

I'm feeling claustrophobic in this big ass open space. I don't need her to make sense right now.

I want things to go back to how they were the last two days.

Her visit is supposed to be fun and carefree.

This isn't fun or carefree!

"Can we just have a good time Mads, I really just need you."

She looks at me with soft eyes.

Finally! They've been fierce since she got here.

With a nod she grabs my hand and pulls me towards another carnival game.

"Let's go beat Aiden at a game and make him feel emasculated."

I laugh as she pulls me towards her boyfriend.

Its so good to have her here.

–

"Ew, ew, ew, ew…."

"Madison just take off your shoes!" Aiden shouts through a laugh as we walk onto Venice Beach.

Madison refuses to take off her shoes so now she's got sand in them and she's stuck saying…

"Ew, ew, eeeeeeeeeew. I hate sand!"

Aiden and I laugh then quickly shut up as she glares at us.

"Why don't you use the million dolls you've won to make a runway so you can walk?" I suggest through a smile.

She won like a bunch of stuffed animals which she is making Aiden carry.

I don't know what the hell they are going to do with those things when they go back to New York.

"I will not!"

She answers as if the very thought were beneath her.

We finally reach a spot close and far enough away from the water and plop down.

Madison stands as she looks down at us.

I bury my hands in the sand and she cringes which makes me laugh because that right there hilarious.

I look at her as she looks down at her animals and grabs one. Sitting on it with her knees as close to her chest as possible.

"So you won't walk on your dolls but you'll sit on them?"

"This one's Aiden's." She says with a shrug.

"Hey!" He shouts in protest.

We share a laugh and I'm grateful that Madison decided to lay off with the questions for the time being. I know she'll bring them back up soon but for right now this stress free situation feels really good.

My phone goes off and I go to answer it.

As I answer the call Madison grabs the phone and quickly speaks.

"She's with her real best friend so you need to not disrupt our time together, Okay? Okay thanks."

Then hangs up.

My eyes are wide and my mouth drops open.

Yeah I'm pretty sure I don't need to tell you who just called.

Aiden's chuckling as he watches the waves ahead of him.

"I can't believe you just did that."

No actually I can but I'm in a bit of hysterics right now because I know Lexy is going to call back.

I think it best to just not answer her calls right now.

We tiredly drag ourselves into the house, stuffed animals dragging against the floor.

Aiden announces he's going to call it an early night. The jet lag probably got the best of him.

"I'm going to wash the sand off me."

I laugh as I shake my head.

"Madison you've got like no sand on you."

"I feel it!"

I can't help but throw my head back laughing, she's such a drama queen. I direct her towards the bathroom and she grabs her things and heads there.

I drop against my bed sighing tiredly. I didn't realize how much I missed my bed.

What a long day.

I miss Ashley so much. This can't be normal how much I miss her.

It's like we've been apart for months not hours.

I just want to be in her arms again and I think about the picture she took of us while I was asleep.

Turns out she couldn't figure out how to work my camera, so she called the company and had them give her play by play instructions on how to set up the timer and take the picture with me.

I text her and drop my phone against my stomach, closing my eyes.

There's a ton of missed calls and texts from Lexy and I'm not all enthused to answer her back right now.

Maybe I'm a little annoyed that she's back though I have no right to be.

Some best friend I am.

My phone vibrates signaling a text from Ashley and my heart aches with desire as I read her reply.

_'I miss you so much more, you have no idea'_

I let out a long sigh as I smile. My eyes drift close and I imagine Ashley's arms around me, wishing I were the me in that picture she took.

Frozen and happy with the girl of my dreams.

–

Chapter Title- Mat Kearny- New York to California


	26. The Right Kind Of Wrong

Thank you so much for everyone that reviewed on the last chapter. I really appreciate it. As for the guest reviewer that doesn't appreciate what I'm doing with the story... I don't know what to say to you besides stop reading. Cause believe me, I'm not condoning cheating or even saying that's it's okay to think about it, this is a story of fiction therefore you should take it as such. Thanks. Next time maybe send me a private message to discuss your feelings rather than post negative comments on the story thanks.

Anyways...everyone else Enjoy :)

* * *

**The Right Kind Of Wrong**

"Good morning sunshine." I wake up to see Lexy standing over me."

"Holy shit!" I jump up from the bed. I swear I covered the entire length of the bed in one leap.

Yes... I was just that scared.

I hear a raspy giggle along with Lexy's and I turn to see Ashley standing by the door. She gives me a small smile and I try my hardest not to run over and kiss her.

To tell her how much I missed not sleeping in her arms last night.

Two days of it and now I'm spoiled.

Sigh.

Shit focus! Stop staring at Ashley like you want to mound her right here and now with her girlfriend standing next to you.

"Sorry I didn't mean to scare you, Spence." Lexy says, continuing to chuckle. I force my eyes from Ashley's and turn to look at my best friend.

I think I should just start calling her Lexy now. It's pretty safe to say that I'm the worlds worst best friend at this point.

"Well," I say grabbing my chest. "You did a terrible job at that."

She chuckles again before walking over and pulling me into a hug. "Aw, I missed you." She tells me. Oh well rub it in why don't ya, guilt! She pushes me back and hits me on the arm a few times. "But if you ever ignore my calls and texts and calls again to hang out with the best friend stealer, I will kill you." She narrows her eyes at me and the look on her face right now has me genuinely terrified.

"Okay." I nod with wide eyes.

"Good." She changes into happy cheery Lexy again.

Um... creepy much?

"Not that I'm not glad to see you," I start, running a hand through my blonde curls. I hate it that Ashley's seeing me with bed head right now. Granted she has before but waking up next to her with it and her coming over to my house and seeing it are two different things... come on that's good logic. "...but why are you in my bedroom at," I turn to look at the clock on the nightstand. "...seven in the morning!" I practically shout.

Her and Ashley both chuckle at me. I don't find this funny at all. I hate waking up early when I have absolutely nothing to do and today... I have absolutely nothing to do.

"I'm just dropping Ashley off to pick up her car."

"Oh." I nod, walking over to my dresser and grabbing her keys.

"Spencer why are you screaming?" Madison stops in the doorway when she see's Ashley and Lexy.

"Madison that's Ashley." I point to her. "And this is Le-" Madison stops me, raising a hand.

"No thanks." She rolls her eyes and walks away.

She did not just do that.

I look back and forth between Ashley and Lexy. Ashley is trying not to laugh but Lexy just bursts into laughter, shaking her head.

"Nice girl." She chuckles out.

"She's not usually like this." I try.

"Right." Lexy scoffs. "Cause just yesterday she didn't answer your phone for you and hang up on me. I just imagined that." She rolls her eyes and smiles.

"I'm sorry about that, Lex. She just get's protective sometimes."

Lexy waves me off. "It's cool Spence. I get it. It's hard to be the second best friend." She adds with a smile. "Well I have to get to work." She walks over and kisses Ashley. "You guys hanging out today or..." She trails off, glancing back between us.

"Sure." I shrug.

"Yeah." Ashley nods and smiles at her girlfriend, giving her another quick kiss.

"Okay." Lexy smiles. "Well watch out for that one in there." She whispers, thumbing towards the direction Madison walked away in. "She's a jealous one." She adds, glancing back at me. "Have fun and oh! Tell her the good news Ash." She walks over and gives me a hug before leaving.

"What good news?" I question Ashley with a raised brow. She smiles that smile that's reserved only for me and of course I swoon. She's so different around Lexy. It's crazy to me really.

"Go freshen up." She commands, moving closer to me.

"I have to freshen up before you can give me the good news?" I ask with a smirk.

She shakes her head, walking closer. "No." She stops right in front of me. "I really wanna kiss you right now, and I know how you are." She smiles and takes her bottom lip between her teeth. I smile and run over to my window, watching as Lexy pulls out the drive way before I run into my bathroom. I hear Ashley giggle.

After showering and brushing my teeth, I head back in my room in just a robe.

"Back." I announce as I open the bathroom door.

"You showered." She states, standing up from my bed.

"I did." I smile, pulling my robe tighter.

"I wanted you to brush your teeth Spence, not shower." She smiles.

"Well I was too tired to shower when we got in last night. I smelled like the Pacific Ocean." I explain.

"I'm sure you didn't." She giggles and shakes her head at me.

"Are you complaining?" I raise a brow.

"Not at all." She says as she pulls me closer to her by the string on my robe. When we crash into each other she wastes not time connecting our lips. The moan that escapes her throat let's me know that she missed me just as much as I missed her. She brushes her tongue against my bottom lip, asking for entry, which I quickly grant. Her hand slips down between us, reaching the string of my robe, she pulls back looking me in my eyes; asking for my permission. I scan her face as I weigh the pros and cons of what she's asking me right now.

Fuck it.

I nod and she undoes my robe, I turn to the door and realize she closed it when I was in the shower.

Her breath hitches when she looks down at my naked body. I bite my lip nervously. She scans my body before her eyes drift back up to mine.

"You're fucking beautiful." She whispers, looking straight in my eyes. My tongue snakes out to lick my lips before my hands shoot to the back of her head and I pull her in for another kiss.

"Spencer your mom said..." Madison's sentence dies in her throat when she see's Ashley and I. I quickly tie back up my robe and Ashley turns, covering her face. It almost looks like she's trying not to laugh. "While the cat's away..." Madison smirks. I roll my eyes at my friend.

"Did you need something?" I playfully snap as Ashley is unable to hold in her laugh any longer.

"She's hot." Madison throws out. Seriously?

"Madison!"

"Well she is." Madison shrugs. And Ashley is full out laughing right now. I slap her on the arm, not really finding this funny. "Anyways, your mom said to tell you breakfast is ready."

"Thank you." I tell her, but with my eyes I'm saying something completely different. "And I'd appreciate if you knocked next time."

"And miss out on the opportunity to get a full out Spencer frontal..." She narrows her eyes and shakes her head, pursing her lips. "Not a chance." She says before closing my door. Ashley is still laughing.

"It's so not funny, Ash." I hit her again.

"But it is though." She chuckles out.

"You suck." I tell her, pointing a stern finger before turning to head into my closet.

"Whoa, where you going?" Ashley asks, pulling me back.

"To get dressed." I tell her.

"What, why?!" A pout appears at her lips and I kiss it away.

"The moment is totally over." I say quickly and scurry off into my closet.

"Now you suck!"

–

"Well good morning." Madison says with a huge grin as Ashley and I walk into the kitchen. Her, Aiden, Glen, my mom, dad and Clay are all sitting at the table.

I narrow my eyes at her before telling everyone good morning.

"Good morning Ashley." My mother smiles at Ashley before turning to me with questioning eyes. I guess she's trying to figure out why Ashley and I are coming out of my room at eight in the morning.

"Lexy just dropped her off to pick up her car." I answer the unasked question, but I know it's on everyone's mind.

"Oh, I thought I heard Lexy this morning." My mother smiles. I look at Glen and see he's smirking at Ashley. He's such a creeper.

"Morning dad. Morning Clay." I bend down and kiss my dad on the forehead as I pass him. I slap Glen in the back of the head and walk over to the counter. Clay smiles and waves at me as he eats his pancakes.

"Ow!" Glen shrieks, rubbing the back of his head. Madison and Aiden chuckle.

"How have things been, Ashley?" My mother asks as Ashley takes a seat at the table. I fix the pair of us a plate and take a seat next to her.

"Table side service." Madison half mumbles. I glare at her. She looks down and smiles. It's only fair I fix Ashley's food though, she's given me breakfast in bed for the past couple of days.

"Thank you." She smiles to me and I can't help but smile back. Her smile is so contagious. I pull my eyes from hers and look around the table to see everyone staring at us with a smile.

Great...

Uh...change the mood right now.

"Clay where have you been bro?" I ask my brother, getting everyone to turn from me and Ashley.

"You know how school gets little sis. Crazy." He shakes his head and smiles. The room grows quiet and everyone turns their attention back to me and Ashley.

Ugh! I need another subject...

"So, what was your good news Ash?" I ask, directing everyone's attention to her.

She licks her lips and smiles. "Well, I guess now is as good a time as any, especially with the people who made it all possible are sitting at this table." She smiles at my mother then turns to me. "Yesterday, when I was called in suddenly. It was Mr. Levi over at Domino Records. He played our demo for the board and well," She pauses, finally paying the rest of the people at the table some attention. Boo them, look at me. "They loved it. He said that they wanna sign us." She finishes and I can see how happy she is. I know this is something she's wanted for so long, I'm just glad that it's happening for her.

"Oh wow, Ashley that's amazing." My mom get's up and hugs her as the rest of the table tells her a congratulations.

"That's amazing." I whisper, once Paula lets her go. She smiles at me and my heart melts. Her smile is saying so much right now. She's thanking me, telling me she wants to kiss me and saying how happy she is, all in one.

"Spencer here also has some amazing news." She turns from me and says to the table.

"Ashley no." I shake my head, not wanting to take away from her moment.

"Yes, do tell." Madison speaks up.

"What is it, Spence?" My mom and dad ask in unison. Glen looks utterly bored.

"It's nothing big. Ashley's dad knows a curator that's gonna get some of my work put in the Yossi Milo Gallery." I say and shrug it off. "It's not a record deal or anything."

"Are you kidding me?!" Madison shrieks. "You're always talking about that gallery, we go there like every other freaking week. You were practically peeing your pants when-"

"I think we get it Madison." I cut her off. Ashley chuckles beside me.

"We're so proud of you, Spence." My mom commends me, my dad and Clay both nodding and smiling in agreement.

"Seriously, let's not make a big deal about it." I shake my head as Ashley bumps shoulders with me.

"It is a big deal though." She smiles.

"Oh wow, Spence. I'm so proud of you." Clay smiles at me.

"Yes, Spencer and Ashley here are both awesome, can we move on?" Glen asks, rolling his eyes. See why Clay is my favorite brother? I mean he's hardly ever around because of school but he's awesome either way.

"Someone upset that they didn't get any of mom and dad's creative genes." I coo to my older brother, tickling underneath his chin. He slaps my hand away and stands up from the table.

"Sit down son." My dad tells him firmly.

"But dad I-" Glen tries.

"Sit."

Glen smacks his lips and sits back down. I can't help but giggle.

"So what are we doing today Spence?" Madison asks, eating a fork full of pancakes.

"Yeah, what are we doing?" My mom asks, I turn to look at her.

"Nope, we're not doing this again mom." I tell her, shaking my head. She laughs and goes back to eating her food.

"You think they'd want to go to my place?" Ashley leans over and asks.

"I wanna know, I wanna know." Madison says. I roll my eyes at her and turn back to Ashley.

"What if Lexy asks you where we are, you ready to tell her?" I whisper.

"It's impolite to whisper in front of a group Spencer." Madison pipes up. Seriously though? I look up and see the entire table staring at Ashley and I.

"Ashley wanted to know if you guys wanted to go back to her place." I say flatly. I'm over Madison's nosy, sexy-time interrupting, rude ass.

"Boring." She throws out.

Watch this.

"It's at the Ritz."

"Oooooh!" She jumps up, clapping her hands together. Aiden shakes his head and pulls her back down to her chair.

See.

"Wait, you live at the Ritz as in Ritz Carlton?" My mom questions, confused.

"Um, I guess you could say that." Ashley nods.

"That place is mad expensive, how do you afford that?" Glen nosy ass asks.

Why is everyone being so nosy today?

"My parent's bought out the penthouse as a graduation gift." Ashley says unimpressed with her parent's gesture.

"They did what!?" Madison asks, almost choking on her food. Aiden pats her on the back.

"Who are you right now?" Glen asks seriously. Ashley chuckles.

"She's Ashley, you ass." I reply.

"Watch it, Spence." My dad scolds me.

"It's no big deal." Ashley assures them.

"Clearly it is." Madison says.

"Ashley are you loaded and not telling us?" Glen asks.

"Glen that's not your business bro." Clay tells him.

"Why should she tell you anything?" I ask and he just shrugs.

"I'm not loaded, my parents are. My dad is Raife Davies." She tells them. Everyone looks confused except my parents.

"The lead singer of Purple Venom?!" My dad shrieks.

Way to keep your cool dad. Ashley chuckles and nods.

"You learn something new everyday." My mother smiles, standing up from the table, clearing plates.

"I love your father's music." My dad tells Ashley. I roll my eyes and stand up from the table, knowing he can go on for hours with this subject. I grab me and Ashley's plates and head over to the sink. The doorbell rings as I'm dropping the plates in the sink.

"Got it." I tell my mom and head to the door.

"Hey." Stacy smiles brightly at me when I open the door.

Holy crap!

"Hey." I smile weakly. "How'd you-"

"Lexy gave me your address. I hope it's okay." She says. I nod.

"I'm just surprised that's all."

"A good surprise I hope." She says with a raised brow.

"Very." I tell her, pulling her into a hug.

"Good." She pulls back and kisses my lips quickly. "I'm sorry I was totally M.I.A yesterday."

"It's okay." I assure her. "My friends from New York, you know the one's I was telling you about, they're here so we spent the whole day out anyways."

"Cool." She smiles. We stand in the doorway staring at each other for a moment. "Are you gonna let me in?" She asks with a smirk.

"Oh yeah." I hit myself on the head and move aside so she can come in. We walk to the kitchen where everyone is engrossed in their conversations. "Mom, dad, Clay, Madison, Aiden... this is Stacy...my uh girlfriend." I introduce her to everyone. Well almost everyone.

The look on Ashley's face right now.

If looks could kill...

"And the plot thickens." Madison says. Aiden slaps her on the arm softly. She just shrugs.

"Hi everyone." Stacy greets them cheerfully. My mom comes from washing dishes to hug her.

"Nice to finally meet you, Stacy. I've heard so much about you." My mom smiles, pulling back.

"Good things I hope." Stacy smiles at me.

"Of course." My mother replies. I glance at Ashley, telling her how sorry I am with my eyes. I know it's hard for her to be around me and Stacy, the same way it's hard for me to watch her with Lexy.

"Hello I'm Arthur." My dad shakes her hand.

"That's my brother Clay." I point to him, he gives her a wave and smile.

"And that's Maddy and Aiden, my best friends from New York." I point to them.

"And I'm Glen, her older and more good looking brother." Glen stands up and says.

"Sit down, Glen." My mother tells him quickly.

"Okay." He mumbles and sits back down. I hold in a laugh.

"Would you like some breakfast Stacy?" My mother asks.

"Sure." Stacy nods and smiles. She kisses me quickly before following my mom over to the counter. I look at Ashley and the pain in her face doesn't go unnoticed by Madison, as she stares at her.

This is gonna be a long day.

–

Chapter Title- LeAnne Rimes The Right Kind Of Wrong


	27. Mine

Aww you guys are sweet lol having withdrawals and stuff from me missing a day. I'm sorry about that by the way. But here's a chapter I hope it'll hold you over until possibly Saturday... don't kill me. I really appreciate all the reviews guys and for those that are asking me if the story is coming to a close soon... not yet. Still got lots of loose ends to tie up. This is one of those chapters where the song doesn't necessarily fit, I just wanted to use the title.

Enjoy!

* * *

**Mine**

This girl is on fire!

Yeah no, I'm not actually singing the song. We all know I don't sing... well except that one time I sang, but that's besides the point.

Right now, Ashley's eyes are literally setting me on fire. Okay not literally, but I mean I feel as if they are.

We're all still in my kitchen talking about our plans for the day. There's a few extra seats since my mom dad and Glen all left the table, but Stacy decided to sit on my lap.

I want to push her off, but I'm pretty sure that would be rude.

I'm just guessing here though.

She's running her fingers through my hair and it's supposed to feel good but I'm squirming under Ashley's gaze. It's really just making me feel worse.

"So what's the plan today? We Ritzing it?" I scrunch my eyebrows in disgust, as everyone stares at Aiden.

"Honey no, no. No, no don't say ritzing." Madison shakes her head and pats Aiden's arm and everyone chuckles.

Well not Ashley she's still trying to murder Stacy with her eyes.

I do this awkward laugh cough thing to try to ease the tension that's building up inside me. I wish Ashley would look at me so I can silently tell her she has nothing to worry about.

"Ashley…"

Ashley doesn't hear Madison call her name because she's too busy glaring at Stacy and Stacy is too busy to notice Ashley's death glare because she's placing soft kisses on my temple.

Umm there's people around.

I move my face gently and give her a forced smile.

I really have to take care of this situation.

I signal for her to get up and she does so without hesitation. I make my way to lean against the counter, shuffling things around to make it look like I'm busy.

"Yeah we can go to my place and hang there for the day. I'm sure Spencer wouldn't mind another spa day." I smirk at her and sigh in relief at the change in her mood. I guess making Stacy get off of me was apparently the secret move.

"Spencer you've already been to Ashley's place?" Stacy turns in her seat and asks me.

"Yeah." I nod. "We hung out there yesterday." I tell her.

She turns back to Ashley, "You took Spencer, but you haven't even taken your girlfriend?" She questions Ashley with a raised brow.

Uh oh. I can feel the tension building back up.

"Yeah, she wanted to see it, so we went and just hung out there all day. No big deal. And you know why I haven't taken Lexy yet." Ashley narrows her eyes at her friend.

"Hell yes let's go to the Ritz!" Madison shouts, breaking the staring match Stacy and Ashley were having. "Half a point to LA." Madison throws a fist in the air and I give her an appreciative smile when I see Stacy and Ashley both turn to her with smiles.

"Only half?" Ashley asks intrigued with Madison's scoring system.

"It's lucky it got that much."

I roll my eyes at my best friend, she's so much to handle but I love her to death.

"So who's riding with whom?"

Oh look an awkward question.

"Well obviously me and Spencer will ride together." Stacy chimes in. She grabs my hand and smiles softly at me.

"Obviously." Madison says in that way that make you want to smack the person for knowing so much inside information on you.

She smirks at me and I scowl, effectively doing nothing to threaten.

"Ash you mind driving with Spencer's friends so I can get a bit of alone time with my girl before?"

Ooooh Stacy you better stop, you're going to get beat.

I gulp as I look at my love interest nervously.

She just nods and looks down at her hands as she clenches them together on the table.

I really just want to hold her right now.

"Let's get going." Madison quickly rises from her seat and pulls Aiden out of his chair. Almost making him fall out of it, I giggle at my two best friends.

"We'll meet you there Ash."

Oh geez, I forgot she was still here.

I see Ashley clench her teeth. Swiftly exiting the room, I try to catch her eye but she's not looking at me.

Well damn, if my heart wasn't breaking before.

I feel Stacy connect her lips with mine.

"Finally. I never thought I'd get you alone again. Maybe we can get a couples massage if you're into the spa thing."

She's got a devilish smirk and for anyone else the idea would be such a turn on, but for me it's just another activity that I don't want to with someone that's not Ashley.

I pout knowing it will get me out of having to give too much of explanation.

"That sounds amazing but I'm really insecure about my body."

I see her face fall a little in disappointment.

Yea never mind the fact that I totally just flaunted my hot body in front of Ashley, but I mean it's Ashley.

"That's fine no pressure." I know she's referring to the fact that we haven't slept together yet. It's only been a few weeks, plus I don't have sex this quickly in a relationship... Unless you're Ashley, then I'm jumping your bones five seconds after we meet. I give her an appreciative smile which is completely genuine because sex will only complicate the situation.

And I'm up to my ears in complicated, so no.

Thanks but no thanks.

I just grab her hand and lead her out of the house. As soon as we step outside, I see Ashley speed away.

I sigh as my friends get to spend some alone time with her and I'm a little bit scared because I know that Madison is grilling the poor girl with questions.

Along with some threats that Madison delivers as promises.

I feel carsick at the thought and Stacy hasn't even pulled away from the curb yet.

Ugh I miss Ashley!

Stacy pulls up to the Ritz and I smile as I remember being here only yesterday.

Then it hits me.

Shit!

Stacy hands her keys to the valet and waits for me to exit the car.

Ashley would've opened the door for me, but I'm probably not one to be going over the dos and don'ts of courting another woman.

Since I mean I'm in love with her friend and all.

Back to my panicking, so remember that really great thing that Ashley did for me.

All those pictures.

Yeah the one of us sleeping.

In a sixteen by twenty print.

Can't hide that bad boy too easily and I'm pretty sure that it'll be hard to explain, with Ashley holding my sleeping form a little to lovingly and all.

I try to think of a plan.

Anything.

WWMD…what would McGyver do?

He's got some great tricks up his sleeve that clever bastard. I wonder what he'd do in my position right now.

He'd probably figure out a way to get the elevator jammed to stall for time. Do some crazy Morse code against the doors that will send vibrations through the shaft and then somehow signal Ashley to do something quick.

Or I mean I could just text her, but obviously that's way too logical.

"Hey!" Stacy and I stop abruptly as Madison comes up to us.

I look at my friend suspiciously.

"Hey?" Stacy says with a soft laugh.

"So yeah, seeing as I'm the best friend and all I'm going to have to threaten your life. Sooner works better than later for me."

Stacy looks at me wearily and I give her a smile that's supposed to be supportive, but who am I kidding? She'll probably come back crying.

"I thought Lexy was your best friend?" Stacy cuts in confused.

Probably shouldn't have gone there.

"She who will not be named, AKA the best friend stealer." Madison says with force. "Does not know the ins and outs of how to correctly threaten whomever is dating my girl. So let's take a walk shall we. Spencer Ashley needs you upstairs. By the way love the pictures."

She pops her eyebrows once and I know she's referring to the one of me and Ashley.

She's giving me a look like I owe her one and I sure as hell do.

She carefully guides Stacy away from me and I mouth a thank you as I rush towards the elevator hitting the button to get to the penthouse.

I impatiently tap my foot against the elevator floor as the numbers change. This thing isn't moving fast enough.

It finally dings open and I quickly enter the apartment.

I look around and see that the picture of me and Ashley is no longer there.

"Ash?!"

"In here!" She shouts and I know she's in the bedroom.

I quickly run towards the back room and see Mikey, Andrew, Joey and Aiden carefully setting the picture down on its side in the adjacent powder room that is next to the bathroom.

"Hey guys!" How'd they get here?

"Spencer!" All three musicians shout out and rush over towards me, pummeling me in a large hug.

"You sly girl you!" That's Joey.

Not the reaction I was expecting.

"You're quite the Casanova no?" I shouldn't have to tell you who that was.

"Thanks Andrew…I think."

"Now I know how Madison feels." Aiden says as he stands next to Ashley with his arms over his chest. I smile at him softly, then throw him a wink to reassure him he has nothing to worry about.

"When'd you guys get here?" I ask the three band members with a smile.

"We were here waiting on Ashley, she told us the news about getting signed and well we wanted to celebrate." Joey says in a total surfer dude type way. I just don't know about this boy sometimes either. Him and Andrew... "But then we got here and we saw this and we were like whoaaaaa, totally mind blown." He adds.

"All of you out!" Ashley orders and they all look at each other.

"Sure Ash cause it's not like we didn't just carry this heavy ass picture to avoid getting Stacy's feelings hurt." That was Mikey.

He's looking to be the logical one of the group.

Please don't make me hate you Mikey.

"Out." Ashley responds with a finger towards the door and her eyes menacing. Aiden is the first to side step the brunette that's way shorter than him and the other boys follow suit.

She closes the door behind them and locks it.

"I'm so glad you thought of the picture, I was freaking out for a minute. I started to channel my inner MacGyver…"

Yeah I'm done talking as Ashley bum rushes me and kisses me…hard.

She slides her tongue inside my mouth and I let out a moan.

She backs me towards the bed and we land without a sound because the bed, I've decided, is definitely made of marshmallows.

She slides her hand under my shirt and I mirror the action as both hands slip under the back of her shirt. I feel her muscles contract as she positions herself on top of me.

The kiss is heated and I swear I'm about to get lightheaded. She bites my bottom lip and my goodness this girl is going to grant me an early death.

We break apart and she's looking down at me.

Her eyes dark with want and I gulp at the amount of desire that's evident.

"You are mine." She says each word slowly as if she's giving each word a chance to permeate my mind. Making sure I don't forget.

I will never forget.

I'm Ashley's.

I always have been and I always will be…

Emotionally she's mine.

Physically she's mine.

But we both know she's not.

Right now though, that's not the focus.

Right now she's owning me in every possible way.

"Say it." She orders and good thing we're lying down because my knees get weak at the demand. I swallow the lemon in my throat and find a bit of courage to answer her.

"You say it first." Not what she was expecting by the look on her face.

She's searching my eyes.

One of her hands comes to brush some of my blonde hair out of my face. She plays with the end of my hair and genuinely smiles.

"Spencer. I'm yours. So totally and completely yours." Yeah, we both know that's not the truth but right now we'll go with it.

I lean up and capture her lips, they languidly slide against each other as our kisses are no longer reassurances but promises that neither of us should be making.

"And I'm yours."

We kiss for some time and Ashley starts giggle.

Um should I be offended?

"What?"

She clears her throat and gains her composure.

"I was thinking how you were locked in here yesterday and you saying you were a prisoner. If that's true then this is a conjugal visit." She drops her head into my neck and her body shakes with laughter.

I flip her over and she stops laughing as my eyes grow a shade darker.

"Then we probably should get started before our time is up." I tell her and she answers by bringing my face closer to hers and kissing her deeply.

I slip my leg between her thighs and she moans at the contact. We rock against each other in a smooth rhythm. I assault her neck with bites and kisses as she grips my hips and rocks against me a little faster.

My phone vibrates and Ashley slips her hand into my back pocket as I drag my tongue up the length of her neck. She takes out my phone and wiggles it close to my face to make sure I get a view of who's texting.

I groan as I read Madison's text.

I push up off Ashley and take my phone from her hands.

"Conjugal over?" She asks with a sad smile and I just nod not wanting to think about it. She stands up in front of me and kisses me one last time.

"Mine." She says one last time before taking my hand in hers and bringing me out the door.

I most certainly am.

"Babe these pictures are amazing."

Stacy is looking at the pictures that Ashley had blown up for me. All of them minus one, as it hides in Ashley's powder room.

Since there's no reason for Stacy to go into Ashley's room with the three other bathrooms in this place then I can control my irregular heartbeat at the possibility of her finding out.

Secrets, secrets, secrets.

It's making me sick to my stomach.

I don't know how many more I can keep in.

Stacy wraps her arms around my waist and kisses my neck gently. I turn my head to give her a quick kiss hoping that it will placate her for now.

I try to make it short but apparently for her short is not sweet at all.

She's a good kisser, don't get me wrong.

Ashley's just... better.

The position a little uncomfortable for me I turn myself around in her arms and she pulls me closer to her.

I pull my head back and lick my lips.

"I've missed you." She tells me with a soft smile.

Aw.

I wish I could say the same, but the thoughts of Ashley that constantly fill my mind leave no room for anything else.

"That's sweet Stace, but I'm right here." I pull away from her and walk over to the dining room where everyone has congregated to set up some time of game plan for the day.

Oh yeah, I said dining room.

Why the hell is Ashley not living here?

"Okay y'all LA losers better show me a good time because I'm sure as hell not satisfied with the beach, sand, carnival, and sand."

"You said sand twice." Oh no Mikey don't do that…

"You want me to hurt you?" Madison's got her eyebrow quirked and her trademark smile.

Mikey laughs nervously as his eyes shift towards a smirking Aiden.

There's two seats left one next to Ashley and another next to Madison.

I quickly choose my seat next to Ashley and Madison quickly snaps her head at me.

"I fly all the way out here to see your ass and you don't wanna sit next to me. "

I smirk and shrug. "Does LA lose half it's point now?"

"Whole."

"Good job Spence you got us in the negative!" Joey pounds a fist on the table and everyone erupts in laughter. He pulls his beanie down further over his eyes and slouches in his chair.

Apparently he thinks there's a real point system.

"Let's figure something out guys or we're going to be going back and forth all day." Stacy's smooth voice settles everything down and I frown a little.

She really is a great person.

Sweet, charming, and available.

Too bad none of those qualities win me over.

"Babe since you've done everything here already."

I tut. "I didn't do _everything_."

I didn't do yoga.

Cause really who wants to do yoga?

Ashley surreptitiously scoots her chair closer to mine and slips her hand onto my thigh. Gently caressing it and I lean forward to hide her arm because I sure as hell am not stopping her.

I take a quick look at her and I smile.

She's not looking at me as she keeps her gaze on the group at the table.

I really need to kiss her.

It's over powering.

I zone out thinking about kissing Ashley and the whole table has to shout my name to grab my attention.

"What?"

"So the plan sound good to you?" Mikey asks and I really want to ask what the plan is but I'm afraid it will rile everyone up again.

"Yup let's do this."

"You sure?" Madison asks as she stares at me warily.

What did I agree to?

I pretend to be okay with whatever is going on.

"Like one hundred percent?"

"Madison yes. What's the big deal?"

She's smirking.

Smug ass.

Ugh I love and hate her.

"Alright chica just making sure you end up spending the day the way you want, but I mean as long as you're with me I know you're good."

"Obviously. " I share a smile with my best friend and the guys are the first to stand.

"Let's do the damn thing." Andrew says excitedly.

Aw he's so cute trying to sound cool.

Everyone lets out one big cheer.

Ashley's kind enough to whisper in my ear that the boys and girls are going to split up and meet back up later. Girls are going to the spa, to shop, and then meet up with the guys to go to the club tonight.

Shopping?

I hate shopping?!

Hmmmm maybe I can steal Ashley into a changing room.

–

Chapter Title- Taylor Swift- Mine


	28. DJ Got Us Fallin' In Love

Thank you guys for sticking with this story so far even though some people don't agree with the theme. I really really appreciate it! This chapter is brought to you by fruit roll ups and cherry fanta. lol. So you should probably thank them.

bodybroke: I don't think I've ever heard that before. That had me laughing so hard lol.

punkerocker07: Awww that made my day! I'm glad you like my works.

Tam24: Your reviews always make me smile.

Ambeezy: Or maybe Stacy sees but doesn't care... I don't know lol. I think Ashley has been wanting to claim her for the longest time. It's crazy how in love they are with each other but all these things...complications keep getting in their way.

YouOutaKnow: Stacy is really sweet and I'm not sure if I did that on purpose or not. She just kinda came out that way when I stared writing her. It was like her character took on a life of it's own.

All-Time-Low343: Ahhhh where you been fiance? lol

Enjoy!

* * *

**DJ Got Us Falling In Love**

"Who's bright idea was it to come to this club?" Stacy asks as we enter Lust. I've always been a fan of Lust actually. It's not too cheesy or corny and the DJ always plays music we actually listen to.

"I like it here." I loudly whisper in her ear over the music.

"Really?" She asks with a smile. I nod and she kisses my neck. "Well if you like it then, I guess it's cool."

"I'm gonna go find the boys!" Ashley yells, practically rolling her eyes at Stacy and I, then walks off.

"I'm gonna go with her." Madison says and I just nod. This night is not gonna go well, I can already feel it.

"You want something to drink?" Stacy yells over the music, thumbing towards the bar.

"Seven and Seven." I say after a moment. She pops one brow up. "I could really use a drink right now." I tell her with a smile. Stacy knows about my dispute with alcohol and how we aren't getting along, or weren't I should say. But tonight... I can already feel the drama brewing. I need a drink.

"Okay." She smiles and heads to the bar. I search around the club for Ashley and spot her with the boys at a booth in the far left corner.

"Hey sexy." A familiar voice says in my ear, grabbing me by the hips. I turn and see Lexy.

Oh, great!

"Lex." I force a smile. "What are you doing here?"

"I called Ashley and she told me you guys were coming here so I decided to join." She smiles and shrugs. "I feel like I've been working so much lately that I haven't really been hanging out with you and Ashley."

"It's cool, we get that you're working on advancing your career Lex." I wave her off.

"Yeah, but you're my best friend and she's my girlfriend and it's not fair to either of you." She pouts and kisses my cheek.

No you wanna know what's not fair... me being in love with your girlfriend behind your back.

"Here babe." Stacy comes back and hands me my drink. "Oh hey Lexy." She greets her and I can tell that the greeting is superficial.

Of course Lexy is oblivious.

"Hey Stacy." She replies, smiling brightly at my girlfriend. Her eyes drift down to the drink Stacy just handed me. "You and alcohol on speaking terms again?" She questions with a raised brow.

"Tonight we are." I reply simply, taking a sip of my drink. "Everyone's over there!" I point to the corner where I spotted the group a minute ago. Lexy smiles and heads in that direction.

"Who invited fondant?" Stacy whispers in my ear, throwing her head in Lexy's direction.

I chuckle, "Ashley texted her." I take another sip of my drink and quickly realize that I'm gonna be shitfaced in no time. "Come on." I pull Stacy towards the group.

"Heeeey!" All the boys, including Aiden yell to us. I guess Joey, Mikey, and Andrew have rubbed off on Aiden.

I give Ashley a small smile and turn to the boys. "Hey boys." I shake my head, drinking some more of my drink.

"Spencer is that alcohol?!" Madison stands up, trying to take my drink away. I move quickly, alluding her hands.

"It's mine." I practically slur out. Yeah, this probably wasn't a good idea.

"Stacy!" Madison scolds my girlfriend.

"You know how convincing Spencer can be." She chuckles out. I drink some more of my drink from my straw, swaying side to side.

"Spencer can't have alcohol?" Joey asks Madison.

Madison shakes her head, trying to maneuver her way out of the booth without making everyone have to get up. "They got into a little spat a while ago and haven't been on speaking terms." She replies.

"Spencer give me that." Ashley tries to take my drink away.

"No no." I slap her hand away. "How'd you buy me this anyway?" I turn to my girlfriend with a raised brow. She holds up an ID with the name Josie Halden, age twenty-two. "Oh, well hello there Josie." I smile and lean in to kiss my girlfriend.

Yup, definitely should stop drinking.

"Is she gonna be drunk after one drink?" I hear someone ask, I think it was Mikey.

"Yep, probably." Madison replies.

"Someone should take that then." He says.

"Touch this and you die." I point a finger at the whole group, still sipping. "Come on, let's dance." I take a big gulp of my drink, cringing at the burning sensation that fills my throat before grabbing Stacy's hand and pulling her to the dance floor just as the song changes.

"_Yeah, I'd like to take the time. To love yo body, rub yo body, kiss and hug your body. Girls say, ooh ooh, I like it. Girls say, ooh ooh, I like." _Jeremiah's voice rings out through the speakers as Stacy pulls me closer to her, effectively eradicating any space that was between us. _"So I'm gonna take the time to love your body. Rub your body, kiss, and hug your body. Girl say ooh ooh I Like, ooh ooh I Like" _She spins me so that my back is now to her front as we sway to the beat. I gotta admit, and this could just be the alcohol talking, but I'm getting so turned on right now. Stacy is an amazing dancer.

"You are so sexy." She whispers in my ear, sending shivers down my spine. I turn back to face her, wrapping my arms around her neck.

"_Baby don't you know, I'm here to give my lesson, Somethin' bout your body, girl just gives me direction. How to find that spot. I ain't Young__ Money girl but my bed rock. So won't you let your hair down, let me take a picture. Tell me what's your zodiac, cancer's my description. Girl and I don't stop, that's right we go from six to nine o' clock. I ain't too proud to beg, yeah (you're a superstar, girl you are). It's all up in my head, oh you (Baby it's you and me and some privacy cuz)."_

"Spencer I want you." She whispers, sliding her leg between mine as her hands snake under my shirt and her nails dig into my back. I lick my lips and close my eyes. Right now I can honestly say I'm tipsy, maybe a little beyond tipsy. Cause all I wanna do right now is take Stacy somewhere and fuck her.

But I'm sure it's just the alcohol talking.

See why we don't get along?

_"I'd like to take the time to love your body. Rub your body, kiss, and hug your body. Girl say ooh ooh I Like, ooh ooh I Like. So I'm gonna take the time to love your body. Rub your body, kiss, and hug your body. Girl say ooh ooh I Like, ooh ooh I Like."_

The combination of the alcohol and the sound of Jeremiah's voice right now, along with Stacy's nails dragging up and down my back is doing things to my body. I don't answer Stacy, I justgraab the back of her neck and pull her into a kiss. A kiss that's sending me over the edge.

"Can we leave?" She pulls back and asks, scanning my face.

Suddenly I'm a little more sober than I was a minute ago. I look around her and see Ashley and Lexy dancing a few feet away from us. Ashley's eyes boring holes in Stacy's back. She cannot be jealous with the way Lexy is dancing on her right now.

I catch her eyes and she quickly looks away.

"I don't wanna be rude to our friends." I lean closer and whisper in her ear. She pulls back and takes her bottom lip between her teeth.

"Later?" She questions and the question catches me off guard so the only thing I can do is nod.

Fuck!

The beat switches and I know the DJ is transitioning into another song. Please play something faster.

No such luck as Beyonce's voice booms through the speakers.

"_I just wanna show you how much I appreciate you, yes. Wanna show you how much I'm dedicated to you, yes. Wanna show you how much I will forever be true, yes. Wanna show you how much you got your girl feeling good, oh, yes." _Stacy pulls me closer into her, wrapping her hands around my waist as she grinds into me.

"_Wanna show you how much, how much you understood, oh, yes. Wanna show you how much I value what you say, Not only are you loyal, you're patient with me babe, oh, yes. Wanna show you how much I really care about your heart, Wanna show you how much I hate being apart, oh, yes. Show you, show __you, show you, till you through with me, I wanna keep it how it is so you can never say how it used to be!"_

"Can I cut in?" Stacy and I turn to see Madison standing there with a smile and a hand out for me.

"Sure." Stacy smiles and steps out of the way. I can tell that she didn't really want to leave but Madison is scary. Stacy gives me a small smile before walking back over to the group. I look over at Ashley and see her and Lexy have rejoined the group as well.

"What are you doing?" Madison questions me with a raised brow as we dance, fairly close together. I told you... Madison's a closeted Lesbian.

"Huh?" I ask absentmindedly as I stare at Ashley.

"See!" She says and slaps my arm.

"Ow! What was that for?" I turn back to my friend.

"Why are you both doing this?" She asks.

"Doing what?" I ask, but I pretty much know what she's asking me.

"You're both stupid." She shakes her head.

"Oh okay...thanks." I roll my eyes at my friend as we continue to dance to Beyonce.

"You guys clearly want each other." She says, turning to look back at Ashley who's staring at us. "Why are you wasting Stacy's time, Spence? It's not right."

"I know." I drop my head on my friends shoulder. "I don't know what else to do." I mumble.

"Telling her the truth would probably be a good place to start." I lift my head and narrow my eyes at my friend.

"And what about Lexy?"

"I don't really care." She shrugs and rolls her eyes.

"That's not a solution." I shake my head and lay it back down on her shoulder.

"Well you should really do something about Stacy, it's clear she really likes you Spence. It's not fair to her, Plus she's hot." She adds with a shrug. I lift my head up to look at her.

"Gay much?" I say with a raised brow.

"For certain girls."

I shake my head and smile at my friend. "I'm so screwed mads." I groan.

"Definitely." She says and curls her lips up into a smile when I glare at her. "Come on." She pulls me back towards the group as the song changes to something upbeat. Oh now you wanna play something fast!

"_So we back in the club. Get that bodies rocking from side to side (side to side). Thank God the week is done. I feel like a zombie gone back to life (back to life). Hands up, and suddenly we all got our hands up. No control of my body. Ain't I seen you before? I think I remember those eyes, eyes, eyes, eyes."_

"Spencer, Spencer." Mikey says once I reach the table. "You were killing it out there." He says and most of the table concurs. I say most because Ashley doesn't say anything, she's looking down at her hands.

"Hardly." I shake my head and smile at them.

"Bullshit!" Joey speaks up.

"_'Cause baby tonight, the DJ got us falling in love again. Yeah, baby tonight, the DJ got us falling in love again. So dance, dance, like it's the last, last night of your life, life. Gonna get you right. 'Cause baby tonight, the DJ got us falling in love again."_

"I taught her everything she knows." Madison says as she scoots into the booth next to Aiden. Well at least her and Lexy aren't at each others throats.

"Oh Spence, you remember that time we came here and had that dance off with those other chicks? It was like that scene straight out of white chicks." Lexy says and everyone but Ashley and Madison laugh.

"Oh my God, I wish I woulda been here for that." Aiden chuckles out and Madison rolls her eyes.

"Please tell me you and Spence won right?" Andrew asks.

"Hell yeah!" I speak up and all the boys cheer and clink their glasses together. They sure do get excited about the smallest things.

Hey! Where's my drink?

"I tossed it." Madison says when she sees me looking around for it.

"Meanie." I pout and cross my arms over my chest.

"You want me to get you something else baby?" Stacy stands and asks.

"Oooo, yeah." I clap my hands together and think of a different drink. "How about a blu-"

"Water." Madison cuts me off. "One is most definitely enough for you my friend."

"But technically I only had three-fourths of one. So I still have one-fourth left." I say matter of factly.

"You wanna another Seven and Seven?" Stacy asks.

"Damn Spence, you've been sober for months and your first drink of choice is a Seven and Seven?" Joey asks.

"Yeah." I nod, not seeing what the big deal was.

"That's hard core man." He nods and smiles. I can barely see his eyes under his beanie and shaggy hair.

"Okay Joey." I giggle at him.

"Babe?" Stacy questions. Oh, I never answered her.

"Um... another-"

"Nope." Madison cuts me off again, standing up. "Water Spencer." She gets in my face. Boo! She's no fun.

"Fine!" I shout to my friend then turn to my girlfriend. "Just a water." I tell her. She nods and smiles before walking off to the bar.

"I need to go to the bathroom." Ashley says abruptly, in a harsh tone. She gets up and walks away from the table without another word.

"What's wrong with her?" Lexy asks confused. Everyone around the table drops their heads and sips their drinks.

"She's realized that you're-" I elbow Madison, stopping whatever she was about to say cause I already know it was gonna be rude.

Lexy chuckles. I guess she doesn't take Madison seriously. She thinks it's only fun and games. A competition for my friendship. She's so wrong. If Madison didn't think that kicking her ass would upset me, she'd probably have done it already.

"I'm gonna go get another drink, anyone want something?" She asks, getting up from the booth. Everyone at the table calls out an order and Lexy looks overwhelmed.

"I'll come with." Mikey tells her with a smile, scooting out of the booth. Once they're far enough away I announce that I'm going to the bathroom.

"Sure you are." Andrew smiles.

I shake my head and chuckle at him before walking off to the bathroom.

I bob my head at the song that starts. _"When you hear this in the club you gotta turn this shit up, you gotta turn this shit up, you gotta turn this shit up. When we up in the club, All eyes on us, all eyes on us, all eyes on us."_

"Ashley." I call into the bathroom when I enter it. There's two girls the sink washing their hands and giggling about something.

"Brunette?" One girl turns around and asks me. I nod and she points to the stall at the end of the row.

"Thanks." I say and she nods before they leave. I bend down to check and see if anyone else is in the bathroom before I walk down to Ashley's stall. "Ashley let me in." I knock on the stall door. She opens it without saying a word. I close it behind me and lock it. I look at her face and I can tell she's been crying. I immediately move over to her. "Ashley why are you crying?" Her bottom lip trembles like she's about to cry again and it breaks my heart.

"I'm sorry." She shakes her head and wipes her face.

"No." I mimic her actions, wiping more of her stray tears. "Don't be sorry. Talk to me."

She takes a deep breath and sighs. "It hurts Spence. It hurts seeing you with her. I can't do this anymore." She shakes her head and my heart sinks. Is she referring to us? "I need to tell Lexy." She clarifies. Oh, that. "I need to tell her because I love you Spencer and I can't keep pretending when I'm around her that I don't. All I think about all the time is kissing you, calling you baby and holding your hand." She shakes her head. "But I have to sit and watch Stacy get to do all those things and it kills me, like I know it kills you to see me with Lexy. We can't do this anymore. I can't keep you a secret anymore. And I've never done this baby. I've never even thought about another girl besides Lexy since I've been with her. I would never-"

"I know." I cut her off, nodding. She's telling me that she's not a cheater and that I shouldn't think of her that way even though what we're doing right now is just that...cheating. I don't know what else to say to her. She's saying exactly what I've been wanting to hear for over a month, but the thought of breaking Stacy's heart...Lexy's heart... it's killing me. "I don't think Lexy will ever forgive me." I whisper as I lay my forehead against hers.

"I don't think Stacy will forgive me." She shakes her head against mine.

"We're so fucked." I whisper out through a chuckle. She joins in but we both know this is no laughing matter.

"I don't think Mikey approves of what we're doing." She says.

"I kinda figured." I reply.

"He told me that we're all like family and that Stacy would understand, that I should just tell her. I told him about us meeting in New York and he said Stacy will get that I met you first and we don't get to decide who we connect with." She finishes and I smile remembering the conversation we had a couple weeks back at the diner. "Plus Madison said that if I didn't tell Lexy soon she'd kill me." I chuckle. "She scares me Spence." Ashley says with wide eyes.

"Yeah, she's scary." I giggle out and Ashley joins in.

We sigh out of our laughter and she pulls me in for a sweet kiss.

"I love you." She whispers into my lips.

"I love you too." I reply honestly.

"We should probably get back out there before they come looking for us." Ashley says, reaching around me to open the stall door. I reluctantly pull myself away from her and turn to leave the bathroom.

"Helping her wipe?" Madison questions with a raised brow, arms folded across her chest.

"How long have you been standing there?" I ask my friend with a smile.

"Lexy was gonna come see if you two were okay, I politely volunteered." She says and I smack my lips. "Okay so I told her to sit her ass down and drink her drink." She shrugs and Ashley and I both erupt into laughter.

"You're kidding right?" I ask my friend. The look on her face is telling me she's not. "You're a freaking riot Mads." I tell her as Ashley places one last kiss on my neck and we exit the bathroom.

"They're back!" Joey shouts a little too cheerfully.

"Everything okay?" Lexy asks her girlfriend as she takes a seat next to her in the booth. Stacy wordlessly hands me my water with a smile and a kiss on the cheek as I squeeze in next to her.

"I think we should get out of here and head back to the Ritz." Andrew suggests.

"Oooo yeah!" Madison agrees. "Roof top pool party!" She throws out and everyone cheers.

"The Ritz?" Lexy asks confused.

Oh shit!

I guess everyone forgot that Lexy didn't know anything about Ashley's secret rich life. Andrew clamps a hand over his mouth as Mikey slaps him in the back of the head.

"Yeah." Ashley shrugs, trying to act as nonchalantly as possible. "My parent's bought me this loft for graduation but I never stay there." She shakes her head.

"Your parent's bought you a loft at the Ritz and you don't stay there?" Lexy questions with a raised brow.

"But we barely got to dance." Stacy whispers in my ear.

"We can dance in the pool." I lean over and whisper back. My eyes catch Ashley's. She looks a little panicked right now. I think it's only fair we give them some space to talk about this. I stand up and pull Stacy away from the booth and everyone else follows suit. Andrew just shakes his head at himself, realizing the fight he probably just caused. We all head out the club and wait by the cars for Ashley and Lexy to come out the club.

"You think Ashley's gonna get in trouble?" Joey asks the group.

"Probably not." Stacy replies, shaking her head.

"I got twenty says Lexy's pissed." Andrew speaks up, taking out his wallet.

"I'll take that bet." Mikey agrees, doing the same. Joey and Stacy both pull twenties from their pockets and hand them to Andrew.

"So you're willing to lose sixty bucks right now?" I question Andrew.

"There's no way she can just not be upset about Ashley hiding this big of a secret from her." Andrew says with a smile and a knowing look. Which I'm sure is directed at me. After about ten minutes Ashley and Lexy emerge from the club.

"Well here they come now." Aiden says. We all turn to look at them as the exit the club. Waiting for a sign of either anger or love. Ashley says something and bumps shoulders with Lexy as Lexy giggles and takes Ashley's hand in her own.

"Booyah!" Mikey shouts as Andrew groans and hands them each their twenty back plus a twenty from him.

"There's just no way she's human man. I'm thinking Cyborg." Andrew shakes his head at the pair looking back down at his now empty wallet. Madison, Aiden and I all chuckle.

"She's fondant bro. Definitely not human." Joey jokes and we all laugh.

"Did you just call her fondant?" Aiden questions. Joey nods. "Wow." Aiden chuckles some more, just at Ashley and Lexy reach us.

"Party on the roof top, top of the world?" She shrugs and turns to me to finish her lyrics.

"Tonight, Tonight." I sing along and catch Madison just as she makes a gag face.

"Let's get out of here!" Stacy screams and all the boys cheer as we pile into the three cars and head to Ashley's place for a roof top pool party.

–

Songs Used-

Usher- DJ Got Us Falling In Love

Jeremiah- I Like

Beyonce- Dance For You

Will. and Britney Spears- Scream and Shout


	29. We Are Young

You guys are so super amazing. Sorry this chapter took a minute to get out. I was gonna do FoF but I have a headache so I'll pick it back up next chapter. I really appreciate all the amazing reviews I'm getting as well as the follows and favorites. And for those of you that have come out of hiding and reviewed and have never reviewed before... let me just say that I'm honored that my story is the story you're reviewing on for the first time. :)

Enjoy!

* * *

**We Are Young**

Stacy can't keep her hands off of me and well you know I'm sure I'm partly to blame.

Okay fine I'm all to blame, but seriously…down girl. She's like a cat in heat!

Okay that was kind of rude.

I'm all better now. I stick my face out the window as we drive back to hotel; the air is refreshing. Plus the bottles of water that Madison practically drowned me in sobered me up pretty quick.

Want to know the worst thing about drinking?

Besides the obvious.

You _ALWAYS _ have to pee.

I swear it's the worst.

I'm practically bouncing in my seat as we drive back.

Let's move it people!

Stacy pulls up to the hotel and I've never been so excited to see a building in my life.

I practically roll out of the car.

Gracefully by the way, and try not to do one of those stupid dances where people know you have to go to the bathroom but they ask anyway…like no I don't have to go to the bathroom I just like to pretend I'm in a musical and dance like an idiot.

I see Ashley pull up behind Stacy her eyes lock with mine. She stares at me confused and my eyes widen. She doesn't hesitate to come over to me as she tossing her keys to the valet.

"I need the key to the room." She quickly gives me the key without another word and I run into the hotel. The guys cheer at me as I run inside, but I ignore them as I rush towards the elevators. I watch as the doors open and quickly run into the elevator. An older couple try to stroll in, but being in the penthouse I know they will be on a lower floor. I really don't have time for this.

I point a stern finger at them as the husband holds the door open. "No!" I say bouncing and practically holding myself.

He looks at his wife confused. "Excuse me?" He's so confused right now as she shuffles onto the elevator.

I don't want to wait for the elevator to stop at another floor and when the doors open I know they'll take their time getting off…and the sensation to pee is getting worse just thinking about it.

"No! Out!" I press the button and the older gentleman pushes the door back open. His eyes widen in anger. "Old man I will hurt you if you do not move your hand."

I'm not generally mean to old people but right now, I really have to use the bathroom and he's not getting it.

"My wife is coming." He says softly. I peek around him to see an old woman shuffling towards elevator in super slow motion. Are you freaking kidding me?!

What is he not understanding right now?!

"Sir, I don't mean to be rude or anything but I really really really need to-"

"Here she is." He perks up as the old woman steps onto the elevator.

Shoot me now please.

He finally let's go and the door closes and I mumble as I try to calm my overactive bladder down. After the doors ding open on the seventh floor, I bounce waiting for them to get off the elevator. Oh my God are they moving slow. They finally get off the elevator and I quickly press the button to shut the doors behind them. When the elevator dings for Ashley's floor, I insert the key card into the penthouse suite slot and the elevator doors open.

I come out sighing happily and as I'm exiting the bathroom I stop in my tracks as I realize for the second time.

Fuck!

The damn picture again and both girls are here.

I pace back and forth as I try to think.

WWMD!

That's right I've reverted back to MacGyver.

He can get me out of anything.

Maybe I should channel Chuck Norris... that guy's an amazing problem solver.

Always fixing little bad ass kids lives. Getting them off the street. Kicking peoples asses with nothing but some nun chucks.

Amazing right?

Focus Spencer!

I hear the elevator intercom buzz and I know it's the group asking me to let them up. Good thing I've got the only key card.

Shit!

I stop pacing, trying to think of what to do.

…

I got nothing.

I close the door behind me and rush to the elevator.

I press the circular button. "Can I help you?"

"Uh you could let us the fuck up." Madison's sassy ass needs to calm down. This is not the time.

"Um, Ashley can I see you for a moment, alone.?" I hear everyone groan as I keep them from coming up and commencing their pool party.

I'm sorry the pools on the roof and their asses can access it without needing to enter the penthouse so if they wanna go straight there then be my damn guest.

"Baby you said you'd give me a tour." I hear Lexy say and I can't help but grind my teeth together.

"Is everything okay Spence?" Ashley asks in a worried tone.

No!

"I'm just a little shy for everyone to see my _pictures_." I say this in hopes that she'll get it.

"Spencer they've already oh..."

And there it is!

"Spence what's the big deal? People have seen your pictures before." Ugh Lexy just be quiet for a second.

I hear Andrew and Joey's voice in the background and I'm assuming they've just figured it out too. I scruffy voice groans and I'm assuming that's Mikey. I so can't take him being logical right now.

"Ah Spence we can help you move them if you want?" Ugh Joey you've got so many more points than Mikey.

I'll be sure to tell him that later.

"You don't gotta do that baby your pictures are amazing." Stacy speaks into the intercom. Sighs. Her support is exhausting. "Spencer babe, just let us up." Stacy says.

I'm having flashbacks to the man on the elevator.

"No!" I shout into the intercom, no doubt scaring the crap out of her.

"Spencer I'm coming up." Ashley says and I sigh relief. This is getting to be too much for my little heart. When I see the elevator stop on this floor I use the key card to open it for her. When she steps off the elevator she's sporting a slight smirk.

"This is too freaking much!" I shout. "Could we be any more obvious right now?!"

"Spencer, Spencer! Relax."

"Relax?! There is a sixteen foot picture of us cuddling!" I'm whisper yelling right now and it's really hurting my throat, but I can't actually shout now can I? I mean I guess I could since they're all the way downstairs and all but you get my point. Ugh she's smirking. Why is she smirking! This bitch. "No smirking Ashley I will destroy you!"

She snorts and I glare at her making her clear her throat. She runs a hand through her hair and I start to pace again.

"We'll just have the guys move it. Joey already said they would so let's just have everyone come in and I'll show Lexy around except the room that we hide the picture in okay?"

I start to calm down and feel a little better about the situation. Ashley's so good at making me relax. She's good at getting me worked up too. Mmm Ashley getting me worked up and then making me relax.

You catch my drift?

"Spencer!"

"What?!"

"You ready?"

"Yeah! Wait." I stop and turn back towards her. How'd you get Lexy to not be mad at you about not telling her about this place?" I question with a raised brow, cause if I were Lexy I'd probably be mad as hell right about now.

"I just explained to her that I didn't think this place was important since I never stayed here." She shrugs.

"And you told her about how loaded your parent's are?"

"Yeah." She nods. "She said that it didn't matter cause she doesn't care about my money." Lexy really is unfreakingbearable sometimes with how nice and forgiving she is. I only hope she's this forgiving when she finds out how terrible a friend I've been. Sigh. I really suck right now. "Only that she'd like to meet them one day soon."

"Oh." Is all I can say after that.

"Spencer." Ashley moves closer to me. "We'll talk about this later, but I swear to you that if I do take her to meet them, it wouldn't mean half as much as when I took you." She smiles and kisses my lips quickly.

Okay! I'm back to my old self again.

MacGyver mode initiated.

"Ready now?" She questions with a smile.

I nod once, narrowing my eyes at her as she walks backwards towards the elevator. "Let's do this!" I turn and do a tuck and roll and Ashley erupts in laughter.

"Spencer what the hell?"

"I'm trying to be stealth."

"You don't need to be stealth right now no one is here."

"Logistics." I shrug.

We're still whisper yelling.

I get up from the floor and do another tuck and roll towards the room and I guess I overestimated the distance because I roll right into the door.

"I'm okay!" I shout, rubbing my head. I hear Ashley laugh as she goes to let everyone up. I open the door and stand in the closet where our picture is currently laying. Aw Ashley's so cute in this angle. I hear a knock on the door and I carefully open it to see Aiden, Andrew, and Joey all smiling at me. Mikey not looking too pleased to be here but he gives me a soft smile anyway.

They all come into the closet and grab a spot on the canvas.

"Alright Spence you gotta be the look out. Madison took Stacy to grab some drinks at the bar and Ashley is taking Lexy onto the balcony." Aiden tells me and I nod.

Ugh I really want to do a tuck and roll right now.

This is so the moment for it.

I peek out the door and notice Lexy and Ashley on the balcony I see Ashley with arm around Lexy's shoulders and I scowl.

I just stand there; staring, and forget all about my mission.

"Spencer! Is the coast clear or what? This thing is freaking heavy!"

Oh right!

"Move, move, move." I wave them down and they run across the hall into the room directly across to the second biggest bedroom. Ashley looks over her shoulder and the guys come out tired and I give Ashley a thumbs up. She nods and leads Lexy back into the apartment.

"That's the balcony, this is the living room obviously, the dining room. You saw the foyer when we came in, here's the powder room. "

I give the couple a tight smile. The boys congregate and drop down onto the dining room table. I mouth a thank you and they all nod.

"Spence your pictures are amazing, I can't believe Ashley did this, isn't she amazing?" She laces her finger with Ashley and I wanna to break her hand.

Cool it Spencer.

This is your best friend you're talking about here.

Sighs.

"Thanks Lex and yeah she is." She smiles then looks at Ashley again.

"Babe show me your room….or I guess our room for nights that we stay here."

FUCK THAT!

That is me and Ashley's room.

I glare at her and Ashley sees my face then winks at me.

"Lex don't get your hopes up on staying here I don't really want the place so…"

"Awww but I like it here."

"Yeah but I don't." Lexy pouts and I watch as Ashley kisses the pout away. It's taking everything in me not to throw a tantrum. I shake my head as I watch the couple walk into me and Ashley's bedroom. The guys give me a sad smile and I lean against the bar that's adjacent to the kitchen.

"Wow that room is huge, how big is it compared to the other rooms?"

All five of us out here, hear Lexy ask and the boys scramble out of their chairs and rush to the room they just placed the picture in.

Freaking Lexy, you seen one bedroom you seen them all. This isn't Willy Wonka factory, each room doesn't have a different thing.

Sit your ass down!

The boys peek their heads out as Lexy walks out of the room and I stare wide eyed at Ashley and she pulls Lexy towards the kitchen.

"Babe come check out my oven it's huge."

I give Ashley a face that's saying 'really the oven?' and she just flips me off so I know she caught that message.

The boys peek out again and I just point to the bedroom right next to the room they are about to come out of. They turn the small corner and go into the smallest room and come back out.

"I'm gonna kill her." Andrew whispers harshly as they go back to the dining room table.

My heart's beating out of my chest right now.

"That's awesome baby but I wanna look at the other two bedrooms."

"Come check out my dual washer and dryer it's in its own separate room."

Ashley tugs Lexy into the room that's in the kitchen. All the guys groan and Joey leaps across the table as they all dash to grab the painting again. Aiden falls out of his chair Mikey comes up to me and points a finger at me.

"You guys gotta say something we can't be running around with this thing all night. It weighs a ton."

I feel bad but Mikey is making it very hard to no want to hit him.

I'm not in the mood for rational people.

"Mikey get your ass in here!"

That's Andrew and he's whisper yelling!

See! It's the time for it.

Can I do a tuck and roll yet?

Ashley peeks her head out and sees as the boys running across the hall again back to _me and Ashley's _room. Lexy attempts to come out but Ashley pushes her back in and closes the door. Holding onto the knob.

"Ash!" Lexy yells through the door and the brunette looks at me about to burst into laughter. I'm bent over laughing and I'm trying to compose myself as Lexy bangs on the door.

Right back where we started.

Ashley snorts and waits until the boys rush back out and scramble to sit down in the living room. Andrew jumps over the coffee table. Aiden crashes into the arm chair and Joey lands on the floor in front of the couch grabbing one of the complimentary magazines off the table, pretending to read and Mikey leans against the doorway of the den.

Ashley lets the door go and Lexy stumbles out.

"What was that Ashley?"

"Oh I'm sorry baby, the door got…stuck."

"I think the place is haunted!" Joey shouts from the floor. "I was catching some really negative vibes you know? So maybe like the ghost shut the door."

"Maybe Joe." I say trying my best to sound serious. I smirk at Joey and he winks at me as he reads the magazine, which is upside down by the way.

"Come on let me show you the last two rooms."

We all sigh in relief at the fact that the tour is almost over. Ashley finally finishes the two back bedrooms and we all sigh. Lexy sits on the couch next to Andrew and he doesn't look particularly pleased.

The buzzer for the elevator dings and I go over to let Madison and Stacy in. Stacy kisses my lips and smiles as she walks past me further into the apartment.

"Everything taken care of?" Madison asks softly, once my girlfriend is out of earshot.

I just nod.

"You know what I just realized? I've never actually seen this whole place. Ash can you give me a-"

"No!" The seven of us that are in on it shout and Stacy looks around nervous and confused.

Poor Stacy.

–

"We're so gonna go to jail." Joey whispers as we sneak into the pool area. It's after hours so the pool is closed but I mean, Ashley owns the penthouse suite, shouldn't that make her and her guests immune to such trivial rules?

"We're not gonna go to jail Joey." Mikey scoffs. "Could you be any more of a girl right now?" He chuckles and shakes his head at his friend.

"Well I'm just saying." Joey counters.

"Dude you know that's not a real argument right?" Andrew turns to Joey and says.

"Is it national gang up on Joey day or something?" Joey asks, throwing his hands up in the air causing the whole group to laugh at him.

"We have arrived ladies and gentleman." Ashley says once we reach the pool and let me tell you. This view is AH-MAZE-ING!

"Wow." Lexy breathes out, looking around as Ashley wraps her arms around her waist from behind and rest her head on her shoulder.

"Amazing right?" Ashley asks Lexy, who smiles and nods as she turns around and kisses MY girlfriend. Okay Ashley's _her_ girlfriend but still... I think I feel myself getting mad at Ashley. I mean, just a couple hours ago she was saying how she wanted to end things with Lexy and yet... here we are now... back to square one. Sigh.

"Cannonballlllll!" Andrew yells as he runs and jumps into the giant swimming pool. The L.A lights reflecting off the water, making the sight that much more beautiful.

"Get in the water bro." Aiden tells Joey as he starts to chase him around the pool.

"Aiden leave that boy alone." Madison shouts to her boyfriend.

"Did you want to get in?" Stacy leans over and whispers in my ear.

"I'm more of a sit and watch kinda girl." I smile at her. She kisses me on my cheek before stepping back and taking off her shirt and shorts.

"Wooooo!" The boys shout from the pool. Madison's head snaps in Aiden's direction and he quickly averts his gaze.

"Sorry boys, I'm all Spencers." Stacy teases her friends. She gives me another quick kiss and smile before running and jumping into the pool. I can't help but smile at how carefree and fun she is.

Like I said... she's pretty much the perfect girlfriend.

Just not for me.

I watch as Lexy and Ashley strip down, poking and teasing each other the entire time.

Ugh!

I bet they were a happy couple... a perfect couple, before I came in and ruined it all.

I'm a ruiner!

Oh my God! I just realized... I'm that girl!

You know, the one no one wants to be friends with because they're always trying to hit on or sleep with their boyfriend or girlfriend.

That's totally me right now.

So unattractive.

Paula raised me better than this.

"Spence you getting in?" Madison yells to me from the other side. I shake my head no and she shrugs before stripping down and getting in the pool with Aiden's help. I take a seat on one of the chairs and watch as my friends play Marco Polo in the pool. Mikey is doing the seeking and he can't seem to find anyone. The size of the pool isn't helping him though.

"I don't wanna play this shit no more man." Mikey whines, holding his hand out as he searches for someone. "Marco."

"Polo." Everyone yells from every direction. Mikey slaps the water and drops his hands from over his eyes.

"I freaking quit." He groans, climbing out of the pool.

"Don't be a sissy man!" Andrew quips.

"You're a sissy!" Mikey retorts, sticking his tongue out at his friend as he takes a seat on a chair next to me.

"Yeah, that was real manly." Joey teases. Mikey flips him the bird and they go back to playing.

How awkward is this right now?

I'm sitting next to the one person that doesn't approve of what's going on between Ashley and I.

"Spencer." He calls my name, causing me to turn from the pool to look at him. "I'm not mad at you or anything." He shakes his head and smiles.

"I never thought you were." I shrug and force a smile. I lean closer to him and whisper, not wanting everyone to hear. "I know you don't approve of me and Ashley but it's not something that I planned or sought out. It just kinda happened." I tell him honestly. "I even tried to stay away from her, it just didn't work."

"Stacy's like family to me, Spencer. I love Ashley like a sister, but Stacy and I have been knowing each other since we were two. I didn't meet the rest of these crazies until Middle School. So you can see where my conflict lies." He says softly, turning to look at his friends play. "I get what's going on with you and Ashley, I really do. You don't get to choose who you connect with, that's something I've always believed in. But I also believe in honestly Spencer. I've always wanted to tell Lexy how we feel about her. I think she deserves to know but the guys and Stacy said it would only cause problems with the band and Ashley, so I should just keep it to myself. The point is, the longer you guys let this go on, the more pain it's gonna cause when Stacy and Lexy do find out."

"You think I should just tell Stacy straight up?" I ask, looking out at my girlfriend, who's being dunked under the water my Andrew.

"Better than her finding out from someone else, don't you think?"

I know he's right. I do need to tell Stacy. I need to end things with her before they get too serious.

"Okay." I nod.

"Cool." He gives me a smile then gets up. "You should get in." He thumbs towards the water and I just shake my head. "Suit yourself." He shrugs, running and jumping into the pool. Completely drenching, Madison.

"Oh shit bro, you better run." Aiden tells his new friend as Madison gives Mikey the look of death.

"I'm sorry Madison don't kill me." Mikey says as he turns and swims away with Madison right on his tail. I can't help but laugh at them. I was so engrossed in the Mikey/Madison debacle I didn't even notice Ashley sit down next to me.

"You don't look like you're having any fun." She says softly. I turn to her and scan her face. My gaze falls to her lips and oh what a bad idea that was.

Cause right now, the only thing I wanna do is kiss her.

"I'm having plenty of fun." I reply, never taking my eyes off her lips.

"Spencer." She breathes out. I let my eyes fall down, taking in the beauty of her body. This is my first time seeing Ashley half clothed and I must say...Damn! I continue to scan over her body. Taking in her tanned legs and taut abs, amazing arms and... "Spencer!" Ashley shouts, getting in my face.

"Huh?" I say, snapping back to reality.

"You're eye fucking me." She whispers, her lip curling up into a smile.

"Am not." I protest, practically prying my eyes away from her body to look at hers.

"Uh huh." She nods and continues to smile.

"Fuck you." I snap.

"Gladly." She retorts and it catches me off guard.

I stand up quickly, "I'm gonna go get my camera to take some pictures." I yell to no one in particular.

"Oh, babe you brought that with you?" Stacy asks, holding a finger up to Andrew signaling for him to stop for a moment.

"I always have my camera with me." I tell her.

Truth is, I left it here earlier, as in yesterday... as in when I spent the night here with Ashley alone!

"Oh okay." Stacy replies, going back to her game with Andrew.

"I'm gonna grab something to drink." I hear Ashley announce as I enter the stairwell.

"What are you doing?" I ask Ashley as she sneaks up behind me and wraps her arms around my waist. Stacy and Lexy are right upstairs. Not to mention we're in the open.

"I wanna kiss you." She whispers in my ear. "Right here and now." I moan as she flips me around and pins me against the wall. She takes her bottom lip between her teeth and I fight the urge to cum. Don't judge me. "Can I kiss you Spencer?" She whispers, inches from my lips.

Words don't seem to be my friend right now as I try to speak but fail. I opt to just nod my head instead. She closes the short distance between us and we both moan at the contact. I feel like I haven't felt her lips on mine in weeks. The kiss is hurried and sloppy but in a good way.

We both want each other so much right now that slow and sensual just won't cut it.

"Wow you guys are getting sloppy." We hear a voice say and we quickly break apart, wiping our lips as Madison stands at the top of the stairs with her hand on her hip.

"Could you be any creepier?" I ask my friend.

"Could you be any hornier?" She counters with a head roll and all. Ashley chuckles before giving me another quick kiss.

"Finish this later?" She whispers in my ear and I'm sure I'm blushing right now. I nod and she smiles at me then walks back up the stairs.

I sigh and bring a hand up to my lips.

"Are you out of your mind?" Madison asks, suddenly appearing in front of me.

Ugh!

I need to get it together right now, I didn't even see her walking down the stairs.

"Completely." I nod.

"Spencer you've gotta pull yourself together. Her girlfriend aka your best friend..." She pauses to roll her eyes. "...is right up stairs and you wanna stop on the stairwell to have a make out session? You guys could have at least went into Ashley's place." She groans and shakes me. "You're losing it Spencer!"

"I know, I know." I nod, breaking free of my friends grasp. I turn and walk down the stairs into Ashley's place to grab my camera. "But all my freaking sanity goes out the window when I'm around her, Mads. I don't know what to do." I continue, knowing my friend is close behind me.

"I can see that."

I stop and turn to face her, almost making her run into me. "What the hell am I gonna do?"

"I don't know Spence. I think you just need to talk Stacy first of all, that girl is really falling for you. I can see it. It's gonna hurt so much more if you keep this up."

Ugh!

More logic!

I groan and turn back around to go grab my camera out of Ashley's bed room.

"This is gonna totally suck." I say when I come back out of the room.

"Yup." Madison nods. I drop my head on her shoulder as she pats me on the back. "Come on, let's get back out there." I lift my head up and place my camera around my neck as Madison and I rejoin everyone on the roof.

Everyone is scattered throughout the pool. I avert my eyes away from Lexy as she has her legs wrapped around Ashley's waist and her arms around her neck, they float through the water idly. Mikey is floating on his back staring at the sky. Madison is on Aiden's shoulders and Stacy on Andrew's as they play chicken. Joey is commentating on the fight. I smile at my group of friends, the new and the old and everything feels good right now.

Things are complicated but it doesn't feel like it.

I turn away from my hotel rule rebelling group and I take shots of the skyline.

The lights of the adjacent buildings makes me miss New York, it's good to be home but New York's become my new home and I'm looking forward to going back.

Nokia Theater is lighting up the sky shining spotlights towards the darkness.

The lights of the traffic down below adds to the scene, I love taking shots of moving traffic. I get to play with the effects of the taillights in the finished product making it look like blurs of lights whizzing by.

I get lost in my ideas for what to do with pictures.

Then my eyes shoot open.

Not again!

"Put me down!" I flail my legs and I see Andrew grab them.

I'm going to kill them.

I don't know who has me from behind but he's dead.

"Stop squirming Spencer you're making this harder than it has to be." It's Aiden!

"You're dead pretty boy I'm gonna mess up your stupid face."

That sounded tough right?

Apparently not cause he's just chuckling in my ear.

Bastard.

I try to kick Andrew but he's got my legs tight.

I'm having flashback to the last time this happened.

Aw Mrs. Williams I'll have to see her again to thank her.

I'm not gonna be one of those people that use your stuff and then lose touch.

I'm already a home wrecker I can't afford to claim another bad title.

I feel my camera shift on my chest.

If it were possible my eyes open wider.

"My camera! I swear if you guys get this wet, I seriously will beat the shit out of you!"

They take me seriously this time as they stop moving.

Andrew calls Mikey over and he grabs a nearby towel dropping it over my camera so his wet hands don't harm my baby. He lifts it around my neck and once it's out of the way I start to squirm again.

I fail as I feel my body fly through the air and into the water.

I hear everyone cheer as I'm midair, but I, on the other hand am screaming as if I'm getting murdered.

Underwater I hear big splashes; Aiden, Andrew, and Mikey must've jumped back in. I swim to the surface and notice Stacy swimming over.

I scan the water and see Ashley trapped between the wall of the pool and Lexy as she sits in the makeshift seat that is Ashley's lap. She looks like she wants to swim over to me but my girlfriend beats her to the punch.

I must've been looking at Ashley longer than I realized because Stacy is now in front of me and her hands grip my thighs.

I let her drag me through the water and wrap my legs around her waist. I smirk at the short haired girl and she gives me a sexy smile.

I gulp as she licks her lips.

Okay so I'm turned on by the gesture but cut me some slack. She's a hot girl and I'm only human.

"I told them not to." Her voice is a little husky.

I shrug as I wrap my arms around her neck.

I really do wish I could like her.

Sigh.

"You don't seem completely disappointed that I'm in here though."

She giggles rolling her eyes obnoxiously.

"Well it's not like I can see under all those clothes you're wearing, you didn't tell me you were part Amish." I throw my head back in laughter, but stop when I feel her lips press softly against mine. I moan lightly. I feel her tug on my soaked shirt. "May I?"

I look into her green eyes and I'm hypnotized.

I just nod lifting my arms into the air my legs around her waist keep my in place.

I wasn't planning on getting in the water so I've only got my underwear on.

Good thing they match cause that would not be a good luck.

She tosses it out of the pool and I hear it land with a heavy splat on the ground. Her hands travel to my jeans and I keep myself from drifting away by wrapping my arms around her neck. It takes quite a bit of movement to get the jeans off my legs, but with the help of Stacy I manage.

She grabs them before they sink to the bottom and tosses them in the same direction as my shirt. They land with a heavier sound and she brings my legs back around her waist.

"You're fucking beautiful."

My mind flashes to when Ashley saw me naked that one morning.

I get turned on at the memory and I squeeze my legs tighter around Stacy to control the ache growing between my legs.

I've sent the wrong message as her hands travel to my ass.

I bite my bottom lip and she leans closer to steal a kiss.

"Maybe we should swim over to everyone."

She pouts a little and I give it a quick kiss making her smile.

She relents and carries me towards the group.

They're all huddled in the corner by the stairs. Aiden's sitting with Madison between his legs, Ashley and Lexy in the same position next to them. Joey kneeling on the steps, Andrew against the railing the water sitting right in the middle of his chest. Mikey splashes Andrew as he laughs at him along with the rest of the group.

"Don't go sharing my secrets Andrew before I share some of yours."

Andrew puffs out his chest proudly. "I have no secrets."

I hear Stacy giggle.

Aw she's cute.

Did I mention how much I really wish I could like her?

I did?

Well I do because it would make things so much more simpler.

"I beg to differ, should we let everyone know about your obsession with soap operas?"

We all laugh.

"Oh my goodness which one do you watch?"Madison asks only because she has her own that she watches.

Andrew mumbles something out.

"Can't hear you!" I shout, Andrew meet my bitch payback.

He slaps the water and shouts. "Days of our Lives!"

"That's my shit! Love me some Hope!"

Everyone laughs as Andrew gets excited and shrieks grabbing Madison. "Oh my goodness can you believe freaking Daniel picked Jennifer over Chloe."

Okay I'm lost…

And by the look on everyone's else's face so are they.

Everyone except Madison as she animatedly gets into the conversation about the soap opera with Andrew.

"Like sands of the hour glass so are the days of our lives!" They both shout and share a cackle

What the fuck is happening?

Everyone is staring at the two and Andrew clears his throat clearly embarrassed, as he should be.

"Yeah well at least I don't wax my chest!"

"Hey!" Joey shrieks in horror. "I don't like all the hair…"

Aw poor Joey he didn't even do anything.

"Don't go passing the spotlight on Joey, Andrew." I say and Joey agrees.

"Oh Spence you think you're one of us, don't think I won't turn this around on you."

Andrew's threat makes me laugh.

He's got nothing!

I quirk my brow threatening him.

Before he can say anything a voice that doesn't belong to any of us fills the air.

"Excuse me but the pool is closed." A man in a very neat guard's uniform announces, pointing a flashlight at us.

Really rent a cop?

A flashlight! Everyone run away! He's got a damn flashlight.

"I'm going to have ask you to vacate the premises."

"You vacate the premises!"

Apparently I'm getting high off the chlorine in here cause I'm just mouthing off.

"Young lady I'll invite you to watch your tone."

You'll invite me? Really?

"How do you watch a tone?"

Oh Andrew how I love you.

Everyone snickers.

"Alright everyone out of the pool!"

"Or you could join us." That's Stacy talking all sultry and it's kinda hot if I do say so myself.

He seems to be contemplating the thought and then he shakes the idea away.

Aw we were so close.

"No out!"

"Ah lighten up Officer Krupke!"

"Andrew just come out already! Why do you know a West Side Story reference?" I ask and his mouth drops.

"It's a classic!" He whines and everyone forgets that the security guard is there as Andrew breaks out into a rendition of 'America'.

"Hey!"

Everyone turns back to Officer Dumbass.

"I'm going to have to report you."

"Oh no! I knew it! Jail! I'm too pretty to be someone's bitch!"

Everyone laughs at Joey's exaggerated fear.

"Room number?" The fake officer asks and we all look at each other with a smirk and in unison say.

"Penthouse."

His face falls a little and he clears his throat.

"Try to keep it down, we've been getting noise complaints. Have a good night."

"You too." Ashley answers back with a smirk.

The security guard walks away and Mikey chimes in.

"I'm too pretty to be someone's bitch." His voice mimics a girl's as he makes fun of Joey.

Joey lunges at his friend and the rest of us watch as he tries to drown the drummer.

Stacy and I swim away towards a wall on the other side of the pool, as everyone else goes back to doing their own things. I watch as Madison and Aiden cuddle up on the other wall, stealing kisses as they watch the boys play in the water. Lexy and Ashley stay on the stairs and I have to turn away when Lexy leans over and kisses Ashley.

I moan a little as Stacy kisses my neck.

It's really bad that I forget that she's here. Especially since I'm basically sitting in her lap, legs around her waist and her hands on my ass, which she's enjoying squeezing a bit too much. It's not a stress ball, chill Stace.

She drags her tongue up my neck.

"The way you talked back to that cop…"

"You mean Paul Blart?"

She tosses her head back laughing as I reference the Kevin James Mall Cop movie. I smirk at her reaction I enjoy that I make her laugh don't get me wrong.

I steal a glance in Ashley's direction while the rest of the boys play fight in the water. Lexy is whispering in her ear. Sweet nothings I presume, but Ashley doesn't seem the least bit interested as she watches as Stacy works my neck.

I close my eyes and imagine that it's Ashley and I get turned on very quickly. Stacy doesn't mind the show, but I think Ashley does as she quickly stands up from the water and clears her throat.

Everyone stops what they're doing and looks at my gorgeous brunette.

That's power and it's freaking hot.

"I'm so glad you guys are all here. We get to spend more time together and get reacquainted as well as make new friends."

I see Madison and Lexy glare at each other for a minute I snort out a laugh.

"I just want to thank Spencer again…" I roll my eyes as everyone cheers. "For the awesome hook up and shooting such amazing pictures of us for possible album covers, I think I speak for everyone when I say, we love you Spence."

My heart warms a little bit as she stares into my eyes as if she were telling me that "we" was actually just her.

"You're very welcome and I love you too." I hold my gaze on her and then look around before the secret message and I see everyone's knowing eyes. Except Stacy and Lexy.

Sigh.

"Well I just want to let everyone know that in lieu of celebrating the signing tonight there's also a party next week and I'd like for all of you to be there."

Madison and Aiden groan and I pout.

Ashley looks down at the couple and I answer for them. "They leave in a few days, they'll miss the party."

"What a shame." Lexy pipes in pretending to care and that's the first I'm annoyed with how she reacts to Madison not finding it funny at all.

Madison is about to say something but Aiden covers her mouth and tells Ashley to continue.

"So yeah the party's next week and we'll be putting on a short set for the board, sign some papers, and we're official."

Everyone shouts in excitement.

"Guys shhhhh before we have to vacate the premises." I tell the group and we all laugh.

–

Chapter title- Fun- We Are Young


	30. She Is Love

Well how horrible do I feel giving you guys a 7k+ word chapter last time and now... well I'm back to my normal old self I guess lol I loved reading all the reviews, I think that you guys are all so freaking awesome and I thank you so much for reviewing every chapter even if the chapter doesn't sit well with you. It seems as though we have mixed feelings going on. Some of you want Spashley loving and some of you don't lol... we'll see what happens.

Ohsoclever1: First time for everything right? lol

Annais81: I'm glad this chapter made you laugh. I think this story took on a mind of it's own once I started writing it cause I never intended it to be really funny or humorous. But you guys are enjoying it so that's a plus.

YouOutaKnow: That had to be the funniest scene in this story to me. Madison and Lexy smh...lol

KaKaSaku Chan: I love new readers and Im so glad you gave my story a try. Im thrilled you're loving it so far btw

Ambeezy: Some people believe having two best friends is not possible lol

gina: Aw well I'm glad you think so. I try, I try lol.

ageofworry: I try to incorporate some of the personalities of my real friends to help the flow of the story.

googoo4u: I think the biggest thing that's happening right now is fear. I think that they are so in love that maybe Ashley's scared of the possibility of the magnitude of their love.

1319: Isn't it though! Lol. Aw no, I'm sorry for putting you through withdrawals.

shawdowkissed14: Yay favorite! :)

Sorry I couldn't FoF everyone this toothache is never ending apparently I have to get it pulled tomorrow smh. So there probably won't be an update from me tomorrow, but who knows lol. I may update from the operating chair haha.

Enjoy!

* * *

**She Is Love**

"Good morning." I roll over to see Stacy smiling at me. When did I even fall asleep?

"Morning." I mumble out as she pecks my lips. "When did I fall asleep?"

She sits up and stretches, "Around three I think. Right after Mikey and Joey began their game of who can belch the loudest." She chuckles shaking her head at the memory.

"Did everyone sleep over?" I can't stop imagining Ashley and Lexy in the same bed. Oh shit the picture! What room are we in? I shoot up, sitting straight up on the bed trying to remember what room we ended up storing the picture in.

"Yeah. I think so. You okay?" She asks, raising a brow at my action.

I swallow thickly, racking my brain to try to remember what room we'd place the picture in last. "Yeah." I nod. "Fine." I hope that didn't come out like it did in my head.

"Okay baby." She leans forward onto the bed and kisses me again. I need to get ready, I have to go home and change I have work in like..." She pauses and looks down at her watch. "Two hours." I nod as she walks into the bathroom connected to the room we're in. I scramble off the bed, falling to the floor in the process.

"Owie." I mumble out, rubbing my side. I hit the ground hard. I look under the bed to see if the picture is there. I let out a huge sigh of relief when I see it's not.

I guess the boys were smart enough to not let Stacy choose the room we'd hidden the photo in.

I grab my phone off the nightstand to text Madison.

_'You're still at Ashley's right?'_

_'Duh bitch, where else would I be? I have a nice view of your fat head too, btw.'_ I chuckle and shake my head at her.

_'I don't even remember falling asleep. Thanks for taking that room.'_

_'Yeah, yeah. I'm tired of saving your ass Carlin. Stacy was tryna choose this room.'_

'_Well I'm lucky to have a best friend such as yourself.'_ I text back, grinning at the cheesyness of it.

_'Bitch, speak twenty-first century please and thank you. What are we doing today?'_

_'Stacy has to work and I think Lexy does too.'_ I text back.

_'Did I ask you what thing one and thing two were doing? We as in us. Me, you and Aiden. Maybe Ashley cause I actually like her. You know... when her face isn't attached to yours. ' _I throw my head back and chuckle as I reread the text. This girl cracks me up.

"What's so funny baby?" I glance up and see Stacy laying across the bed, trying to look at my phone. I quickly get up from the floor, locking my phone and placing it back on the nightstand.

"Nothing." I shake my head and smile at her. "Are you gonna stay for breakfast?" I ask as I walk towards the bathroom.

"Maybe." She nods. "Hurry k? I wanna at least get to say a proper goodbye before I go." She smirks and I force a smile before heading into the bathroom to shower and freshen up. I put a robe on and head back into the room, knowing I have to go to Ashley's closet to get something to wear. I tighten my robe when I see the look on Stacy's face. She gets up from the bed and approaches me slowly.

"I'm just gonna go see if Ashley has anything for me to wear." I thumb towards the door but she's not letting me go that easily.

"You know what I would love to do right now." She starts, taking her bottom lip between her teeth as she scans my robe covered body. She leans closer to me, "Kiss you." She whispers. "Here..." She says kissing my neck softly. "And hear." She places a kiss on my collar bone. "And here." She moves my robe to the side a bit and kisses the top of my left breast. I moan involuntarily at the contact.

Sue me, I'm horny.

"Maybe, we should go see if everyone else is up." I stammer out.

She lifts her head and smirks at me.

"You don't sound so sure about that." I gulp and then take a deep breath the try to calm my nerves. I must admit, Stacy is good at this. When her hands slide down between us and goes to untie my robe, I snap out of whatever trans I was in and stop her. Memories of that morning at my house with Ashley replaying in my head. I can't do this.

To myself.

To Ashley.

And most of all to Stacy.

She doesn't deserve this.

I need to come clean. I need to tell her the truth. That she's an amazing person, but she deserves to be with someone who can reciprocate her feelings. My heart belongs to one person and one person only.

Ashley...

"Stacy..." I pull her hands into mine, intertwining our fingers. How do I tell her this?

How do you ever tell someone that you're in love with one of their best friends when you're supposed to be falling in love with them.

"You okay baby?" She asks, genuine concern evident in her tone.

"Um... I need to talk to-"

A knock on the door interrupts us. I groan inwardly.

"Come in." Stacy tells the person.

Oh great it's Ashley. You think she could sense what I was about to do?

Yeah me too!

You think she has microphones and camera's strategically placed around the house too?!

Glad to see we're on the same page.

She looks at my robe covered body then up to my eyes. She looks hurt. I'm trying to tell her with my eyes that nothing happened but she adverts her gaze to Stacy.

"I just wanted to tell you that we're having breakfast if you guys want some." She says in a monotone voice before shutting the door back. Not even waiting for us to respond.

"Well she seems cheery." Stacy says sarcastically, turning back to face me. "You think Lexy wouldn't give it up last night?" She jokes, but I don't find that funny at all.

"I don't know." I say with a shrug, hoping she'll change the subject.

"Anyways, what did you want to tell me?" She questions, reconnecting our hands. I think about it for a moment. Trying to decide if right now is really the best time.

Maybe I've lost my nerve now.

Ugh!

Damn you, Ashley!

"Nothing." I shake my head. "It can wait baby, let's just go eat." I force a smile.

She glances up and down at me. "You should probably put some clothes on first." She smiles and I glance down at my robe covered body and chuckle.

"Right." I nod.

"But I can't stay. I should get going, I don't wanna be late for work." She kisses me again, this time taking her time. "Mmm." She pulls back, eyes still closed. "I will never get tired of kissing you." She smiles, finally opening her eyes.

"Have a good day at work baby." I give her another quick kiss. She grabs her bag off the floor next to the bed and leaves the room. I sigh and sit down on the bed.

My one opportunity to tell her before things get really fucked up and I chickened out.

–

"Ayyyyyyeeee Spencer!" The boys shout when I enter the kitchen. I don't get why they're always so happy to see me.

"Hey guys." I chuckle and take a seat next to Madison at the table. Another massive spread of food awaits me and I can't wait to dig in. I'm starved. I grab a plate and begin piling food onto it. I look around the kitchen and see Lexy nor Ashley are present.

"Best friend stealer went to work and Ashley's on the roof." Madison answers my unasked question. I drop my fork on my plate and stand up.

"Hey Spence did you hear?" Joey asks, stuffing more french toast in his mouth.

I scrunch my eyebrows together. "Here what?"

"Well you know we got signed to Domino Records." I nod and he continues. "And you know about the signing party, well we're totally going on a small tour, you know just to get people interested in us. It's only gonna be a few shows in a few cities but still, we're opening up for The Arctic Monkey's how cool is that?" He asks me with a huge grin on his face.

"That's amazing Joey. When is it?"

"Not really sure yet. But I know it's gonna be awesome!" Aw he's so excited. "But I think Ashley said in a month or two." He shrugs. "You should ask Ash though." He adds.

"Okay I will." I smile and he just nods, eating more french toast.

I turn to leave and see the boy from the other day standing by the door. "Hey Jacob." I smile at him. He gives me a warm smile and waves. "You're more than welcome to eat Jacob, you know that." I tell him.

"Yeah dude, there's plenty." Andrew agrees and the rest of the boys nod. He drops his head and smiles, I guess he's surprised at how nicely we're treating him. He's probably always treated like the help by everyone else.

"Thank you." He mumbles and joins the boys at the bar.

"I'll be back." I whisper to Madison.

"Of course." She mumbles and rolls her eyes. I smile and kiss her on the cheek before head up to the roof.

There are a couple of people lounging around in the pool and on chairs. Ashley has her back to me as she looks out at the L.A sky.

"What are we doing, Spencer?" She asks when I come up beside her. Almost like she could feel me coming.

Creepy.

I lean over the railing, looking out into the city with her. It really is a beautiful site, even in the day time when the streets are full of people and the noise of the people and cars bustling.

"Right now we're standing on the roof of your apartment." I say in a light tone, trying to ease the mood. I can feel a heavy conversation coming on and I'm not sure if I can handle it right now.

"I'm serious, Spencer." She turns to me and says.

See! What'd I tell you.

"You're gonna have to be more specific." I sigh and turn, leaning my back against the railing. She turns away from me and looks back out into the city.

"It'd be so much easier if I didn't love you." She whispers, dropping her head.

I contemplate my next words. "Easier for whom?" I turn and ask.

"You remember when I told you a while ago not to date Stacy?" She asks and I nod. How could I forget that conversation? I'm pretty sure it ended in a hot make out session. "You remember the reason I gave you?"

I rack my brain for the answer. I don't think she did. "You didn't."

"That's because I didn't have one." She shakes her head, glancing at me briefly. She sighs and sits down on a nearby chair.

I follow her. "I don't follow what you're saying Ashley."

"I didn't have a reason for you not to date her. Stacy is amazing. I knew that. I didn't want you to date her because..." She pauses, and I can tell she's fighting back tears. "Well because she's so easy to fall for and I didn't want you to fall for her. I didn't want-"

"Ashley if you're talking about what you saw this morning, I swear nothing-"

She raises a hand, cutting me off. "I just need to say this." I nod and she continues. "You deserve so much better than this Spence, so much better than me. Stacy is uncomplicated and I know that she really likes you. You need to be with someone that's available to love you like you deserve to be loved..." She pauses as the tears begin to fall. I lift a hand to wipe them away. I can't stand to see her cry. "I'm sorry that I even put you in this predic-"

"You didn't do anything." I cut her off, moving to sit next to her. I know she asked me to let her finish but I can't sit here and listen to this anymore. "I'm just as much in this as you are, Ashley. I love you and you can't just push me away right now. We've done this... it's done. This love isn't just gonna go away because we want it to. You can't think for a minute that pushing me away, pretending like this never happened is gonna change anything." I pull her face up to look at me. "Yes, this is complicated. I know. And I know that it's completely unfair that Stacy and Lexy have to be the ones to get their hearts broken, but you don't get to choose who you connect with Ashley." I smile at the memory of the band in the diner that afternoon.

She chuckles through her tears. "You sound like Andrew."

I join in her laughter as I wipe away her stray tears and she wipes away mine. "He told me that." I nod.

"Figures." She rolls her eyes playfully.

"Don't try to push me away okay. You have no idea what that would do to me." I tell her honestly, holding her face in my hands as my thumbs wipe her tears. "I love you Ashley Davies and nothing you say or do could change that. Okay?" She nods and smiles a little. I lean forward and give her a light kiss, barely moving my lips against hers, just needing to feel them against my own. "You can't get rid of me that easily." I whisper and smile into the kiss. She sighs as we pull back.

We fully understand now the magnitude of our situation.

It's not just lust.

More than _just _love, really.

It's way more than that.

It's like she was put on this earth for me, and I for her.

We were made for each other and we don't exist if we don't coincide together.

"I love you." She whispers back, recapturing my lips. I pull back when the kiss gets heated, knowing how into we can get.

"I heard there's going to be a small tour." I say pushing her back with an index finger to her chest.

She groans then smiles, falling back into the deck chair. "Yes, next month sometime, we're opening up for the Arctic Monkeys." I fall down beside her.

"I'm really happy for you guys. You certainly deserve it." She smiles and kisses me quickly.

"I certainly deserve to make out with you right now too." I giggle and kiss her forehead.

"I was thinking we could go visit Mrs. Williams today." I say sitting up. She points to her lips as she sits up, poking them out. I give her a quick peck and she groans again. "We can't kiss all day, Ashley." I chuckle at her.

"I certainly don't see why not." She pouts, then leans forward, trying to kiss me again.

"I just told you. I wanna go see Mrs. Williams today. We promised her we'd visit and we've only been to see her once since the photo shoot. It's not right." I stand up and she pulls me back down onto the chair. She pulls my face to hers by the back of my head and kisses me hard. I moan into the kiss and quickly realize what she's doing. "No!" I pull away and point a stern finger at her. "Come on." I say over my shoulder as I walk away. I know that if I stay close to her we'll never leave this roof.

"No fair!" She shouts to my retreating figure.

"Life isn't fair." I throw back to her, getting a couple of stares from the pool patrons.

They don't want none...

–

Chapter Title- Parachute- She Is Love


	31. Unthinkable

****Well I ended up getting a root canal instead so the pain isn't as bad as I thought it would be. Thanks for the well wishes guys you're all so awesome! Really loved reading all the reviews. And to the new reviewers thank you for taking the time to tell me your thoughts on this story.

This chapter is rated M for Mature.

Enjoy!

* * *

**Unthinkable**

"Well if it isn't my favorite felons."

Ashley and I share a chuckle and miss Madison and Aiden's shared look of confusion. We walk into Mrs. Williams home with my New Yorker friends behind us.

I smile as Ashley hugs the older woman that has broken into our hearts much like we broke into her back yard. She holds her arms out for me and I'm not usually a huger but for Mrs. W, I'll make an exception.

She's so cute!

I love old people.

But not in that Anna Nicole Smith kind of way because…ew!

Mrs. Williams rubs my back gently and lets me go.

"These are my best friends Madison and Aiden." Aiden and Madison decided to come with us to Mrs. Williams after Joey, Andrew and Mikey left for work.

"You just hand out best friend cards like coupons at the supermarket I see." I furrow my brows and try not to laugh at my friend.

Apparently calling Aiden my best friend is a no no.

She's so sensitive sometimes.

I glare at her because before we left the car I told her she had to be on her best behavior.

Apparently everything I tell her goes through one ear and out the other. Surprise, surprise.

Mrs. Williams chuckles and links arms with Madison, patting her arm lovingly. "I like her she's sassy."

Madison smiles widely and smirks at me then looks at Mrs. Williams. "Would you like to take Spencer's place as my best friend Mrs. Williams, because apparently I'm not good enough."

"Oh you…" Mrs. Williams starts then finally acknowledges Aiden. "I don't think you'd want that, I'm about to steal your boyfriend."

We all laugh as Aiden blushes and rubs the back of his neck nervously. Madison just sucks her teeth and waves a dismissive hand.

"You can have him, he's about to expire."

Aiden lifts his head proudly and links his arm with Mrs. Williams free one. "Gladly. Mrs. Williams shall we?"

Mrs. Williams laughs and allows Aiden to lead her further into the house and Madison smiles brightly.

"I like her better than you Spence."

"Ditto."

Madison sticks her tongue out then sashays away towards her boyfriend and Mrs. Williams.

"Mmm I'd never trade you Spence."

I smile as she comes closer to me and grips my waist. "Good to know."

We share a quick kiss and we hear Mrs. Williams shout for us to have some lemonade.

"Does she serve anything other than lemonade?" Ashley asks will a small snicker.

"Right!" I swear that question runs through my mind every time we come here.

"I'm going to ask her for iced tea and see what she says!" I say in a quick whisper then dash towards the kitchen.

Ashley snickers and chases after me. "Spence don't be a brat."

"I wanna know." I whine as she pulls me back. She wraps her arms around my waist and we kind of do that cute waddle thing when you walk.

Ugh we're so cute it's disgusting.

"There you girls are I was just telling Madison and Aiden about how we met. Madison tells me you're a bit of a troublemaker at home Spencer." Mrs. Williams stands with her hands on her hips and I lower my head a little ashamed.

"A little bit."

I hear Ashley gasp. "You are a felon!?"

"Just a delinquent!" I shout with a smile. "I've only broken into like three, maybe four places tops."

"Aiden's dorm room!" Madison shouts with a laugh.

"What?!"

Oh great, apparently it's blow up Spencer's spot day.

"Only cause Madison made me!"

"Sure bring me down with you." Madison sighs obnoxiously.

I point her accusingly. "You started it."

Mrs. Williams laughs at our bickering.

"Why were you breaking into my dorm room?!"

I really want to laugh at Aiden's face right now.

Madison had a worry that Aiden was cheating on her and we broke in to find out if he was and we started to rummage through his things.

Turns out he was taking ballroom dancing lessons. He was too embarrassed to tell Madison and he didn't know we knew until today.

Good job Madison.

"That's beside the point. The point is that Spencer's got a record and she's got all the signs of a troubled youth." Madison snorts out a laugh and my mouth drops open in shock.

Mrs. Williams is getting a good kick out of this I on the other…not a fan of Madison's shenanigans.

"Can we get off my case please and thank you." I ignore my best friend's attempt to pick the conversation back up and pull out a small box out of my bag and hand it over to our host.

"What's this dear?"

I just shrug and take a seat on one of the bar stools that circles the island in the middle of kitchen and Ashley takes the seat next to me.

"It's just a little something to say thank you, it's nothing much."

We all watch as a smile breaks across Mrs. Williams' face.

"Oh hun this is beautiful."

I smile softly as Mrs. Williams fingers slide over the glass of the frame as she looks down at the picture of all of us the night of photo shoot, huddled around the woman who has graciously let us into her home and made her way so easily into our hearts.

From wandering around the house on past visits it's become clear that Mrs. Williams has a thing for photos, so I framed one of the developed shots with all of us in it.

She leaves the room for a moment I'm guessing to place it in a spot and I take her absence to yell at Madison.

"Why are you telling Mrs. Williams that I broke into all those places?"

Madison snorts. "Please Spencer, no one believes you're a good girl."

I glare at her and Aiden chuckles quietly. I freeze as Ashley's lips brush against the shell of my ear as she whispers.

"I love you, bad Spence."

I gulp and I'm pretty sure everyone heard it. Ashley sits back pretending she didn't just successfully turn me on.

That sneak.

"I found the perfect place for it." Mrs. Williams announces as she comes back into the kitchen, I look at my unfinished lemonade and I'm contemplating asking her for that iced tea as if she were reading my thoughts Ashley nudges me with her elbow and shakes her head no.

I just roll my eyes.

Fine.

Fun ruiner.

"I'm glad you like it Mrs. W. It was really nice of you to open your home to us."

"Nonsense the pleasure was all mine you've kept this old broad from being lonely. I do hope you'll visit more often. This big house feels more empty every day."

My heart breaks and I want to pout for Mrs. Williams until Ashley speaks.

"The boys will always come to see you as will Stacy and myself and though Spencer goes back to school at the end of the summer, I'm sure she'll drop in when she's off. Right Spence?"

"Definitely." I answer without hesitation.

I look over to Ashley and we share a smile. I hear Madison gagging on the other side of me and I kick her in the shin under the table.

I'm going to pay for that later.

"You did not just do what I think you did." Madison starts off, straighten up and have a stare down which doesn't last long due to our inability to stay mad at each other.

We both smile and burst out laughing.

"You two remind me so much more of me and my best friend. We are inseparable she visits as often as she can but you know us old people can't travel too much."

"Pfft. Mrs. Williams you don't look a day over thirty, you age better than Madison over here." Aiden says flirtatiously wiggling his eyebrows causing our host to swat his burly arm.

She throws a thumb at Madison. "You've got a perfectly fine young lady here."

"I tell him that all the time." Madison answers with an exasperated sigh and I look at her with furrowed brows.

She's something.

"Since the two of you haven't been here yet, why don't you check out the backyard. The band and these two girls seemed to love it."

"She's got a trampoline!" Ashley shouts excitedly and my goodness if she wasn't adorable before she just hit cute right in the face just now.

That's all Aiden needs to hear before he darts out of the kitchen. Madison sighs.

"I really need to start keeping him on a leash." She leaves seconds later and I get that feeling that you get when you know that an adult sent other people out of the room on purpose so they can talk to you about something.

"I hope you don't mind my prying…" Mrs. Williams starts and right away proves that I'm right. "I just can't help but realize the relationship you two have." Ashley and I share a quick glance at each other. A guilty smile spreads across our faces before we turn to Mrs. Williams nodding slowly. "Oh I don't mean to make you feel as if what you feel is wrong. The way you two connect reminds me of my relationship with my late husband. He was such a great man; patient, gentle, and kind. He would have loved you two. Seeing you two together reminds me so much of what I had with him and it makes me wonder why you two aren't together."

We both shoot another glance at each other as we try to figure out a way to answer Mrs. Williams.

"Um.." We both mumble, not really sure where to start. She senses our uneasiness and picks up the conversation again.

"I know that you two are seeing other people. I remember your closeness with the other two at the shoot the other night and it's obvious you care for them, but it's obvious there's more here and I just can't help but marvel at why you aren't pursuing this love you have for each other."

Are we that obvious?

Okay yeah we are, but have we always been?

Has it been like this since the beginning?

Was this connection obvious and what is the inevitable result?

The unknown is what's disturbing.

The what ifs are what scare me.

I don't want to hurt or lose Lexy, she's my best friend but I feel like Ashley is the love of my life.

It's natural.

We're easy, though everything around us is complicated.

I can't deny the love I have for her nor do I want to.

"I was too late." I answer with a soft chuckle. "My best friend got to her first."

I feel Ashley slip her hand in mine and give it a gentle squeeze and all I want to do right now is cry because she shouldn't be comforting me right now.

I look into Mrs. Williams' green eyes full of wisdom as she places her hand on my cheek.

"It's never too late dear. No better time then the present." Her gaze shifts from me to Ashley as she removes her hand from my cheek. "I don't know you two very well but I know true love when I see it and though you may love the women you're with now, it's not the same love you two have for each other. I understand you don't want to hurt them but what I see between you two is so strong it's not going to go away and the longer you stay with your current significant other, the more you'll end up hurting them. You won't ever love them as much as you love each other." We all sit silent for a minute. I don't dare to look at Ashley and I remove my hand from her grasp. This is all too much. I feel like I'm drowning and the only thing that can give me air is Ashley. "Who wants some more lemonade?"

Mrs. Williams perks up and her change in mood catches me off guard. I smirk to myself as I look at her with a smile.

"Do you have any iced tea?"

XXXXXXXX

"I'm dying of starvation here!"

"So dramatic Madison." I roll my eyes at my best friend as we wait for Ashley to come out of the bathroom, we're back at her place and we're about to go to dinner. Lexy got forced to stay late at work. There's got to be some child labor laws or something with this job, she works entirely too much. Okay fine she's no longer a child but still!

"It's not drama when it's true. I'm wasting away."

"Careful not to waste away on the carpet it'd be a hard stain to get out." Aiden laughs as he watches a baseball game on the television. He shuts up quickly at the pillow that's thrown at his head.

"If I were you I'd start going to counseling for domestic violence or send her ass to anger management."

He tries not to laugh and I dodge a pillow thrown at me.

"Act your age Madison this is why I don't take you anywhere."

She sucks her teeth, folding her arms over her chest as she crosses her legs. "You're not taking me anywhere. Ashley is taking all of us to dinner and you just happen to be tagging along." I smirk at her at her insanity in thinking that she is closer to Ashley than I am. Silly Maddy. "Seriously though where is Ashley? It's been like an hour our reservation is in five minutes."

"How about you just go down and we'll meet you, since you clearly have no patience."

"I'm a New Yorker it's not in our blood."

"Obviously." I say with a laugh and get up from the arm chair I'm sitting in. "So we'll just meet you downstairs okay? Just give her name and I'm sure they'll seat you."

It doesn't take too much convincing on my part as Madison stands up and holds her hand out for Aiden which he takes and kisses her softly on the cheek. She smiles and it's nice to see that Madison has a soft side.

"If you're not down when the waiter comes we're ordering without you."

Aaaaaand it's gone.

I just shake my head and watch as they enter the elevator and the doors close behind them.

I go towards the room Ashley and I had shared our first night here. I don't bother to knock. I look around the room and see Ashley standing out on the balcony looking out towards the setting sun.

I walk up behind her and wrap my arms around her waist and lean my head on her shoulder. She lets her head fall against mine and releases a heavy sigh.

I groan in response.

"That sigh sounds full of emotion."

She chuckles softly and does a pathetic shrug. "I'm just thinking."

"About?" I pry knowing full well what she's thinking about.

I see her lips twitch up as she smiles.

"Us and what Mrs. Williams said."

I've been thinking about it too.

About what Mrs. Williams said, my mom. Madison, Mikey, hell even Joey and Andrew with their whole you don't choose who you connect with philosophy.

It seems everyone knows what we should do except us.

I place a soft kiss on her neck and she inhales deeply at the feeling.

"I hate that this is so complicated." I admit honestly. I really wish things were easier. That Ashley wasn't with my best friend and that I did start up a relationship with Stacy even though I knew I was in love with Ashley.

"Me too." She sighs out, turning around in my arms. She pulls me into her as she leans back on the railing. She closes her eyes and lets out another sigh. "I love you." She whispers into my ear.

She has no idea how much I love her.

Words couldn't even begin to tell the story.

"I love you so much more." I tell her, matching her volume.

She leans forward, kissing me sweetly.

"I wrote you a song." She tells me when she pulls back.

"When are you not writing songs for me?" I ask with a raised brow and smirk, but the look on Ashley's face right now isn't smug or even the normal face she has when she says she's written me a song.

"I wanna sing it for you." She states seriously, moving me to the side gently to walk back into the room.

"Now?" I question. She only nods as she grabs her guitar that was sitting against the side of the dresser. "Madison and Aiden are downstairs waiting for us to come to dinner." I tell her. I wanna hear the song but right now probably isn't the best time.

"Sit down Spencer." She points to the bed, not bothering to look at me. The tone of her voice makes me comply. I don't think I've ever seen her this way. I'm not even sure how to describe how she's acting.

She pulls the chair from her desk and sits down in front of me. She clears her throat and begins the song. No smile or intro like usual. She just strums her guitar.

As the sound of her guitar fills the room, I can't help but feel some type of way about the music.

She strums the chords, keeping her eyes trained on her guitar, even though I'm sure she has them memorized by now. She finally looks up at me and I get it. The look on her face right now is saying everything. She wants me... she wants me in ways she hasn't had me yet. As she transitions in her chords I know she's about to start singing. _"__Moment of honesty. Someone's gotta take the lead tonight. Whose it gonna be? I'm gonna sit right here. And tell you all that comes to me. If you have something to say. You should say it right now. You ready?" The chords change as she goes into the bridge. "__You give me a feeling that I never felt before. And I deserve it, I think I deserve it. It's becoming something that's impossible to ignore. And I can't take it." _

The words are hitting me hard. I close my eyes to soak them in.

"_I was wondering maybe, could I make you my baby. If we do the unthinkable, would it make us look crazy. If you ask me I'm ready. If you ask me I'm ready. I was wondering maybe. Could I make you my baby. If we do the unthinkable would it make us look crazy. If you ask me I'm ready. If you ask me I'm ready." _

I want to stop her, to pull the guitar out of her hands to make her understand that if we go there, if we do what I know she's asking me right now there's no going back.

"_I know you once said to me. "This is exactly how it should feel when it's meant to be". Time is only wasting so why wait for eventually? If we gon' do something 'bout it. We should do it right now. You give me a feeling that I never felt before. And I deserve it, I know I deserve it. Its becoming something that's impossible to ignore. It's what we make it." _She strums her guitar to go into the next part of her song but I don't need to hear anymore. My mind, heart, and body are all in consensus. I stand up from the bed, taking the guitar from her hands. She gives me a surprised look, my new found confidence taking me by surprise too. I kneel down in front of her as I place the guitar on the floor beside us.

"Yes." I whisper. She raises a brow, wondering exactly what I'm saying yes to. Words are failing me right now. They don't do any justice to what I want to convey to her right now. So I bypass the conversation, pulling her head down, crashing her lips into mine. She wastes no time kissing me back. I'll never tire of this feeling.

The kiss quickly becomes heated, we both stand and she walks forward pushing me back towards the bed. I fall on it with Ashley still on top of me, never breaking our kiss.

Nothing matters but us right now.

Lexy isn't my best friend or Ashley's girlfriend.

Stacy isn't the one on my mind, even though she should be the one touching me this way.

All I can think about in this moment is how much I want her, no... need her.

I'm craving her like I've never craved anything before and it's not just gonna go away. I need to feel her, be with her in this way.

I have to.

Ashley's hand slides under my shirt and I swear every part of me feels like it's on fire.

We smoothly find our way to head of the bed.

I'm not sure how we got here. We're moving so in sync and my mind is foggy.

Ashley's drags her tongue across my bottom lip asking for entrance and I gladly grant her access, both of us moaning at the contact of our tongues sliding against one another.

She's stealing my breath away, but I dare not break this kiss to breathe.

I grip her hips, pulling her closer as her thigh slips in between my legs applying pressure to the ache that's quickly growing in my center. An ache that's gotten worse over time. Every time we touch or kiss, or she steals a glance at me the ache grew stronger.. deeper.

All I want right now is for her to touch me in every way possible and despite how wrong we both know this is, how much pain it could potentially cause... nothing in my life has ever felt so fucking right.

Ashley pulls away from our frenzied kiss with eyes full of love, I watch as they grow darker with desire and I lick my lips as I catch my breath.

"I love you." She says in a soft whisper brushing her nose against mine.

This is more than just sex for us... this thing we have, it's more than just lust and I know that's what she's trying to tell me right now with this action.

"I love you." I answer in the same fashion.

It's quiet as if it's a secret only meant for her.

Our lips languidly glide against each others. Smooth and gentle as I tug on the bottom of her top to signal that I want her to remove it. She sits up making sure to straddle me in the process and I've never been so turned on in my life as I watch her take off her black blouse and remove it over her head. As she stretches her abs contract and my goodness what a sight this is.

Ashley in a black lace bra … I'm done.

I sit up and kiss up her chest, her collarbone then her neck. I feel her legs wrap behind me as I grip one of her thighs and gently bite her neck.

I get close to her ear to whisper and as my lips brush against her ear I feel her shudder.

"You're so fucking beautiful." The raspy tone of my voice causes her to moan and she starts to rock her hips into me. I guide my hands toward her ass and pull her closer to me. She's not nearly close enough and maybe it's because of all the clothes we still have on.

She reads my mind as she lifts the bottom of my shirt and I don't hesitate to lift my arms over my head. I'm not sure where it lands, I'm too focused on Ashley kissing me right now.

I feel myself fall back and Ashley's no longer on top of me as she lies on her side and drags her nails across my stomach. My abs aren't as defined as Ashley's but she doesn't seem to mind as she lowers her head and kisses my stomach. My breathing picks up as her fingers dance at the top of my jeans. She unbuttons them with no hesitation. I think at this point our minds are completely made up.

There's no stopping us now.

I reach for her jeans and she kisses my neck as I unbutton them. She places a kiss right above my extremely fast beating heart.

"You nervous?" She asks. I just shake my head now as she smile lazily above me. She brushes some of my blond hair from my face. "Your heart's beating really fast."

I chuckle softly. "It's always like that when I'm around you."

She does a guttural moan and I smirk as she kisses me again. I feel her hands push down my pants and I lift my hips to get the process moving. Everything is flowing so smoothly as my jeans easily fall off and get kicked off the bed. Ashley's are quickly to follow.

Her bare skin comes in contact with mine as she lies on top of me and my eyes close at the feeling.

She feels so good.

We're done talking. We're zeroed in on what we're about to do as she slides her hands behind me, gently squeezing my ass before sliding her hand up to unclasp my bra. I follow suit and undo hers.

My heart races faster and I'm sure I'll probably pass out, but right now, I really don't care as long as I get to touch Ashley in the way I've been craving for so long before I do.

Before either of us realize it we're lying naked.

Both our eyes are scanning each others bodies and fuck she looks amazing without clothes on.

"You're gorgeous." I tell her and she ducks her head shyly. I've never seen Ashley shy once. This is new. I cup her cheek bringing her gaze back to mine. "Don't look away." I breathe out as I take charge.

I hover over her body my arms holding me up and she snakes her arms around my neck pulling me down. I kiss her deeply as her foot drags up my smooth leg, which I slip between her and I can already feel her wetness against my thigh. I moan at the feeling and she mimics my moans as one her leg raises and pushes into me. She can feel how wet I am for her and we start to rock into each other.

It's not enough for me though as I take one hand and slide it between our bodies. I cup her and she breathes in deep and quick. She goes from rocking into my thigh to moving against my hand.

I lean my forehead against hers looking into her eyes. She reads my eyes, nodding to the unasked question. I close my eyes for a moment and breathe her in. Trying to fully understand what's about to happen.

I slide my fingers over her clit and I groan at how wet she is. She moans and starts to rock her hips a little faster as I slowly slide my fingers up and down. She whimpers and I place a soft kiss on her closed eyes.

"Slow baby." I order and her hips slow down as if I said the magic words.

If this is the only time we get to do this I'm going to take my time. Make sure I get to do everything I want to…I need to.

Her eyes flutter open she looks at me as she continues to rock but much slower. Her lips part as she closes her eyes again, breathing heavily. I bite my lip as I feel her take her arm and slip it next to mine making sure to touch me the way I'm touching her.

I moan as she goes right to my clit slowly circling. She's going to kill me.

I stop moving my hand and so does she.

I snap my eyes open and she quirks a brow at me. I smile at her leaning down to capture her lips with mine, making sure to keep my motions continuous so hers would be as well. Her fingers explore me as mine easily glide up and down her wetness.

She feels amazing.

I know she won't advance unless I do as we're keeping everything we do in sync. She's grinding her hips into me and I roll mine down into her.

But I need more.

I slip two fingers inside her and she arches her back and moans. Her fingers stop and I couldn't care less at this point because the feel of her around my fingers is mind blowing. I start to push deeper inside her using my hips to go in further. Her breathing picks up and so does mine as I try my best to take my time.

"More." Her voice is raspy and needy as one hand grips the sheets beneath us while another is buried in her hair. I smirk at the reaction I'm getting as I curl my fingers pulling out slowly. Her breathing is quick as I pick up my pace slightly. "Spence…" She moans and it has to be the sexiest thing I've ever heard in my life. I almost came at the sound of it. I feel her getting tighter as I pump in and out of her, so I slow down causing her to groan. She pulls her hand from her hair and slams it against the bed. "Don't!" She snarls out and I'm pretty sure it was supposed to scare me, but it just turned me on even more.

"Fuck you're so wet." I moan out as I slip in a third finger and start my pace again. Ashley starts up a rhythm that I quickly match pushing and curling. I grab her leg and wrap it around my waist and she gets the idea as she tightens her grip helping me to go in deeper.

"Fuck Spence…so close." I suck on her pulse point and she hisses in pleasure. I groan as she digs her nails into my back. I brush my thumb over her clit as I curl out. She's mumbling out the word 'fuck' repeatedly. I'll take that as a good sign.

Her walls tighten around my fingers and I connect our lips and I swallow her moans. She arches her back as she rides the wave of her orgasm on my fingers. We share quick lazy kiss as she drops her leg from around my waist and catches her breath. She's going to need it.

I kiss my way down her chest making sure to brush my lips over one of her nipples taking it into my mouth. She moans in pleasure. I swirl my tongue around then stop to continue my way down. She says my name but I don't stop.

I kiss the inside of her thighs dragging my tongue up the sides tasting her and she tastes so fucking good.

I waste no time slipping my tongue between her lips and she jolts at the contact.

"Open your legs wider for me baby."

Without a word she does what she's told and I gulp at the sight. Her pussy glistens from her juices and I don't waste any time as I flick her clit with the tip of my tongue and her hips buck to meet my mouth. I do it again and she bucks her hips again.

I smirk as she groans.

"Spencer I swear if you don't stop fucking teasing me!"

I chuckle and drag the flat of my tongue over her clit taking it into my mouth sucking gently knowing she's already sensitive from the first orgasm. She buries her hand in my hair and pushes me in further as I kiss my way down and slip my tongue inside.

She shouts out in pleasure and my clit jumps at the sound of her voice. Fuck I didn't think it was possible to love this girl even more, but I do.

I take her clit back in my mouth and slide my fingers back inside her. Working her insides with everything I have in me. I wanna show her just how much she means to me.

With every stroke and flick of my tongue she gets the message as she rocks into my face. The pace quickens as her walls tighten for a second time.

"Oh my fucking God, I'm gonna come baby." She moans out and I feel her flood my fingers. I slow down to let her ride out her orgasm as I gently suck her sensitive clit.

Her grip loosens from my hair and she drops it by her side. I climb up her body and lie beside her. I figured she wants to rest after what I just did but she surprises me as she pins my arms over my head.

"My turn." She tells me with a smirk and easily maneuvers her body onto mine. She doesn't tease me like I did her, but she does take her time as she runs her fingers over my clit. The fire in my body erupts again as she places her fingers on either side of my clit and tugs. I moan out her name and scream louder when she grazes her teeth over my nipple. I slam my eyes shut as she works my body with such ease.

And perfection.

I rock my hips as she carefully slips three fingers inside me and groan at the gesture, the pleasure catching me a little off guard as she curls her fingers. My breathing is heavy I can't control the movement of my hips but Ashley does as she slows me down with her free hand.

She takes her time pulling all the way out then plunging back in, brushing my clit with her thumb.

I push my head back into the pillows moaning her name again as she replaces her thumb with her tongue and quickly flicks it repeatedly. I know that I'm so close, I can feel myself squeezing Ashley's fingers, but she removes them and replaces them with her tongue.

"Oh fuck!"

I swear her mouth is working wonders and I know she's smirking as she slides her tongue deep inside me, being sure to make the tip drag across the top. She pushes my legs open wider to give her better access and I'm grateful for the action as try to grind down into her. She slows down and it's my turn to grip the sheets as two fingers circle my clit while her tongue teases my opening.

I can't hold on much longer.

Fuck do I want to though, she feels so amazing inside me.

I feel my body buzzing.

I scream out Ashley's name as she gently pushes down on my lower stomach making me cum that much harder. She doesn't stop circling my already sensitive clit and I hit a second wave immediately. My lower body lifts up from the bed as she slows down her fingers and kisses her way back up to me.

She brushes her nose against mine, and I feel my stomach clench as she keeps her fingers moving in circles still. Its slow and gentle as the wave slows down.

My chest heaves as I look into her eyes, mine heavy with post sex after glow. We kiss and I moan at the taste of myself on her tongue.

I whimper as she picks up the pace again, apparently two isn't enough but I'm not one to complain as she brings me over the edge one last time.

"Fucking fuck!" I scream out when my third orgasm over takes me. She smirks as she finally takes her fingers out of me. She places a kiss on my neck. "You're going to kill me." I say through labored breaths. She giggles and I swear it's the greatest sound in the world.

"Then I'd have to give you mouth to mouth resuscitation." I pucker my lips so she can give me a demonstration. She only laughs and pecks my lips then we tangle our legs and hold each other close.

I kiss her neck and trace her abs as I lean my head on her chest. It's beating fast and I'm a little nervous that she's freaking out about what just happened.

I lift up my head and place my hand over her heart.

She's looking at me with soft eyes and I bite my lip nervously.

"Regrets?" She smiles softly shaking her head no. "Your heart's beating really fast."

I'm remembering the way this conversation had gone earlier and by the look on her face I can't help but smile at the answer she's about to give me. I already know what it is and I love that things are the same for her as they are for me.

"It's always like that when I'm around you."

I give her a smile and she lifts her head to capture my lips with hers.

Right now we're all that matters and we let ourselves soak in the moment because as right as it felt we both know that we're eventually going to have to face the music.

–

Song Used- Alica Keys- Unthinkable (Acoustic Version by Jayne Rio ft. Summerbreeze)


	32. Helium Hearts

Everyone seemed to enjoy last chapter. Happy about that. I loved reading all the reviews they made me smile although I have been in a lot of pain. So forgive me for not doing the FoF. Love you all.

Enjoy!

* * *

**Helium Hearts**

"Morning." I roll over to a smiling Ashley.

"Morning." She leans forward and kisses me.

"Do you always watch me while I sleep?" I ask quirking a brow. She shrugs and turns to face the ceiling.

"Maybe."

"Well it's creepy." I tell her, untangling myself from the covers to get out of bed. She pulls me back down, straddling me.

"Where do you think you're going?" She questions, holding me down by my arms, that are pinned above my head.

"To shower." I chuckle out. She bends down and kisses me again, oddly I don't feel the need to turn away. I kiss her back, moaning when she brings her hand down between us. Even after going like ten rounds last night, I still feel like I could go another twenty.

"Or you could just stay here." She pulls her lips from mine and whispers in my ear as her hand that was moving down between us reaches it's destination. I moan and arch my back at the feeling. "See how much better it is here... on this bed with me." She breathes into my ear. I moan as her finger continues to move in me.

"Ash." I breathe out, loving the feeling she's giving me right now. "Fuck." I moan. She continues to move in me and I can feel myself getting close. Then it hits me. No, not an orgasm. Lexy! If we spent the night here, where the hell is Lexy? "We spent the night." I say with wide eyes. She lifts up to look at me, stopping her movements inside me.

"Yeah." She nods.

"You have a girlfriend."

She rolls her eyes as she rolls off of me. "Well that's a mood ruiner." She sighs as I sit up.

"How did we sleep here and Lex not-"

"She called me after you fell asleep and told me that her boss needed her to stay over for the night to finish up this project they're working on." Ashley cuts me off. I let out a sigh of relief.

"Oh." Is all I can say.

"I'm gonna go shower." She rolls off the bed and tells me as she heads towards the bathroom. I guess she's a little mad right now I stopped us just now. She stops in the doorway and turns back to me. "You coming?" She questions, letting a smirk creep onto her lips.

I guess she isn't mad after all.

–

"Well look you finally decided to join us for a meal." Madison says as Ashley and I walk into the kitchen.

"Hello to you too besti." I smile at my friend and sit down. "Hey Jacob." I smile at the boy who waves. Ashley and I take a seat in the stools at the bar across from Madison and Aiden.

"It was a nice dinner wasn't it?" Madison quips as I pile food on my plate. Ashley and I missed dinner last night so right now I'm starving.

"It was, actually." Ashley retorts, with a smirk then leans over and kisses my shoulder. I snort out a laugh.

"Okay, ew." Madison makes a face, dropping her fork on her plate.

"You set yourself up for that one baby." Aiden nudges his girlfriends shoulder with his own.

"Right." Madison pushes her plate away and looks at me. "So what are we doing today, you know it's our last full day in California."

"Don't remind me." I pout.

"Don't be sad Spence, you know we're gonna come back soon. We're really having a good time."

Madison scoffs. "Speak for yourself."

"Stop being such a bitch, you know you're loving it here." Aiden tells her.

"Did he just call her a bitch?" Ashley leans over and asks me.

"Mhm." I nod, watching the couple in front of me as I stuff my face with waffles.

"I'm not being a bitch, you douche." Madison counters.

"Okay, so what are we calling it these days?" He replies without missing a beat. I love watching these two fight.

"Being a New Yorker." She answers and I roll my eyes. That's Madison's excuse for everything.

"Right, cause you only use that five hundred times a day." Aiden retorts.

"Fuck you." Madison feigns insult. We both know she's used to this. Ashley's phone rings and she excuses herself from the table. "Anyways, as I was saying. What were the plans for today Spence?"

"I don't know." I shrug. "We can do whatever you guys want."

"We don't know anything about this place, you're our host you're supposed to know where all the good spots are Spence."

"Bitch just get on the internet and see what you want to do." I tell my friend as my phone buzzes in my pocket. I take it out and see it's a text from my mom.

_'Come over today. Miss you. Oh, and bring your friends Madison and Aiden. Your dad's barbecuing and Clay is bringing Chelsea. Glen will be here too.' _I chuckle as I read my moms text. See how Glen is an after thought for everyone.

_'Okay mom, we'll be over there in a bit.'_ I text back.

_'Oh and Ashley or Stacy is welcome. I'm not sure which you'd prefer to bring.'_ I read and roll my eyes. She knows who I'd rather bring. I don't even bother texting her back.

"Looks like we've got somewhere to go after all. My mom just invited us to a barbecue."

"Oooooh. I love barbeque." Aiden claps his hands together.

"Could you be any gayer?" Madison turns to him and says.

"Yet you're with me... what does that say about you?" He quirks a brow at his girlfriend. She pokes her bottom lip out and nods at her boyfriend. He got her there. I chuckle at my friends as I hop down off the stool to see where Ashley walked off to. I find her in the living room. She hangs up the phone when I reach her.

"Important business?" I question as she leans in to kiss me.

"That was Mr. Levi, he wants me and the rest of the band to come in today. We're gonna meet with some execs before the signing party on Saturday." She smiles, wrapping her arms around my waist as I wrap mine around her neck.

"Boo." I pout. "How long is that gonna take? My mom invited you to a barbecue." I smile and kiss her quickly, enjoying this simple gesture of us holding each other.

"Can't." She shakes her head and I drop mine. She pulls a hand from around my waist to lift my head. "I'm sorry. You know I'd come if I could." She assures me.

"Is this meeting thing gonna take all day? Cause the Carlins have been known to throw some pretty wild cook outs." I tell her, wiggling my eyebrows.

She giggles and kisses me. "Still can't baby. Lexy texted me saying she's getting off in a few hours and wants to spend time together. Apparently, we haven't been doing that enough."

"Oh." I reply softly. Of course she has to spend time with her girlfriend. "Okay." I nod and go to walk away but she pulls me back to her, wrapping her arms around me.

"I love you." She tells me, inches from my lips. "I promise that I'm gonna end things with Lexy soon, I just need to figure out how to do it." I nod and she kisses me. "You love me?" She whispers into my lips.

"Of course." I reply just as softly.

"Good. Cause I'm head over hills for you, Spencer Carlin." She smiles as she reconnects our lips. "And don't you forget it." She says pulling back. And just that easily she made me forget about Lexy. "Have fun at the cook out for me, kay?" I nod and smile. "Oh and I told Mr. Levi about the pictures you took for the band and he wants to see them."

"Really?" I question, full of excitement. The possibility of my pictures being used as a cover for the bands debut album is really awesome.

"Mhm." She nods, spinning me around, wrapping her arms around my waist. "I'm sure he's gonna pick one of them, they're amazing." She whispers in my ear as her head rests on my shoulder.

"You're just saying that because you have to." I smile, turning my head slightly to look at her face.

"You're crazy." She shakes her head. "You're an amazing photographer baby." I inhale sharply at the nickname, she smirks and kisses me neck. "Did you need me to call you a car?" She asks pulling back.

"A car?" I question.

"Yeah, you know to get around since I'm taking mine."

"Oh no." I shake my head. "We'll just call my-"

"No." She cuts me off. "I'm calling you a car. It'll be waiting downstairs when you're ready." She whispers in my ear.

"Do you two ever stop?" We look up to see Madison standing in the kitchen doorway with a hand on her hip.

"We'd prefer not to." I shrug and Ashley chuckles in my ear.

"I gotta go. I'll text you later. I love you." She whisper the last part and kisses my cheek.

"Okay." I reply with a smile. She grabs her bag and leaves the apartment.

"You two are ridiculous." Madison shakes her head. "I don't understand why you got with that Stacy chick, Spence. You're clearly in love with her." Madison thumbs in the direction Ashley just left in. "Why bring another heart into this already seriously fucked up situation?"

"Ugh please no logic right now." I groan, flopping down on the couch.

"You need a bit of logic it seems." Madison says sitting down next to me. "This really goes without saying, but Spence... you need to break up with Stacy."

I sigh and drop my head back onto the couch.

Tell me something I don't already know...

–

"Why are we here exactly?" Madison asks as we walk up the steps to Lexy's apartment. Aiden elected to stay in the car, saying that he didn't feel like hearing any girl talk right now.

"I told you, I need to grab some clothes and some extra rolls of film for my camera; my suitcase is here, Mads." She groans and rolls her eyes. I just smile and shake my head at my friend. I unlock Lexy's door with the key she made for me and head towards the room I'm staying in.

"Spencer is that you." Lexy calls from the living room. Madison and I skid to a stop. She rolls her eyes and I point to the room to let her know which way to go.

"Yeah, it's me Lex." I call out as I walk into the living room. She's sitting on the couch looking down at her hands. "Lex." I whisper and she turns to look at me. She looks like she's being crying. Oh no! Does she know?

Is me and Ashley's cover blown?

Has she pieced two and two together. I swallow thickly and take a seat next to her on the couch.

"Spencer." She says matching my tone.

This is it everyone! I'm about to lose my best friend. I can feel it.

"Are you okay?" I ask, not really knowing what else to ask in this situation.

"No." She shakes her head. There's so many emotions running throw me right now. I don't know exactly what I'm going to say to her. How do I explain this?

How to handle falling in love with your best friends girlfriend is not something people write handbooks on.

"Lex I-"

"I think Ashley may be seeing someone else." She says and I narrow my eyes and knit my brows in confusion. So she doesn't know it's me?

"What do you...why do you...what makes you think that?" I stumble out. Real fucking smooth Spence. I shake my head at myself as she continues.

"Last night I called her and told her that I was staying over at my bosses house cause she really needed me to finish up this proposal, Ashley told me that was cool and that she would just being staying home and calling it a night anyways. Well I came home to get some papers and she wasn't here Spence. She told me she would be here and she wasn't. She's never lied to me before and I can only think of one reason she would need to lie. She has to be seeing someone else."

Fuck! What the hell do I say?

"You don't know that, Lex." Nice going Spencer. Now when she does find out it's you she's talking about she's gonna be even more hurt.

"I know Ash, Spence. We've been together long enough for me to see that somethings not right. You think this is my fault?" She turns to me and asks with wide eyes.

"Lex, no." I shake my head. How could she possibly be blaming herself right now?

"I know that I've been working a lot lately and I'm hardly ever around. Maybe Ashley just feels lonely and is seeking affection elsewhere because she feels like I'm not giving her enough."

"Lex you cannot put this on yourself. You've done nothing wrong. You're trying to make a better life for yourself and I'm sure Ashley gets that."

"Then where was she last night Spence and why'd she lie about it?"

With me and because it'll crush you to know that we were making love.

"I don't know." I shrug. Ugh! This day sucks already. "Why don't you just talk to Ashley, see what she has to say about what happened last night?" I suggest. She nods wiping a few stray tears that had fallen. This is the perfect opportunity for Ashley to end things with Lex. I need to really call Stacy.

"You're right. I'm just gonna confront her and see what's going on." She says, puffing out her chest to seem confident."Where'd you sleep last night? With the best friend stealer at your moms?" I nod and force a smile.

"You two should really try to get along, it's her last full day." I tell my friend avoiding the question. I don't want to have to lie to her about this too.

"Is it awful that I'm thanking God right now?" She questions and I chuckle at her.

"You're crazy." I shake my head and stand up from the couch. "You okay now?"

"I think I will be." She nods. "Go." She shoos me away. "Hang out with the BFS before she has to head back to hell."

"Did you seriously just abbreviate that?" I question with a raised brow.

"Catchy right?" She smiles and I can't help but return one as I nod.

Ugh!

I really hope I don't lose her friendship when this is all said and done.

"I was just gonna grab some clothes and rolls of film." I thumb towards the room. "My family's having a barbecue if you want to come."

"Can't." She shakes her head. "I already made plans with Ashley later. But I'll see you here later, yeah?"

"I'm gonna stay at my parent's tonight. I have to take Madison and Aiden to the airport tomorrow."

"Boo! Well I'll see you tomorrow. Love you." She stands up and kisses my cheek before heading upstairs to her room.

Fuck my life.

"You're so fucked." Madison says as I enter the room.

"Don't I know it." I bang the back of my head against the door as I close it. "You hear all that?"

"Mhm." She nods. "She knows something is up Spence, this isn't a secret anymore. She's gonna find out sooner or later and I think she's going to be more hurt if it's later. You guys just need to tell her." Madison says. I roll my eyes, kicking up from the door.

"Oh well you're just full of advice today aren't you?" I say as I put my suitcase on the bed and grab the things that I need out of it.

"I'm just saying." My friend shrugs.

"Well don't. This is already hard enough with the guilt trips."

"Don't get snappy with me mami. You're the one that's in the fucked up situation. Be a fucking woman and fix it." She snaps back, but not in a mean way or anything. She's just being a really good best friend right now.

"I know, I know." I groan, sitting down on the bed.

This is gonna suck.

–

I walk up my lawn towards the house and I can already smell the barbeque. Yum, my mouth is watering already. I love barbecues. Love them enough to put up with my mother because honestly have you not seen the woman? She's a handful.

"Spencer you're here!"

See what I mean?

We haven't even stepped a foot on the porch and she's already acting like she hasn't seen me in years.

"Yeah mom you sent me a text telling me to come how can I ignore you?"

It's usually easy but I had to get away from Lexy.

I just need a day away from this because I feel it boiling and it's not going to end well.

So I'm taking all the happy moments I can…even if said happy moment is with my mother.

She pulls me into a bear hug and I swear I'm almost out of oxygen.

I push away from her gasping.

"Mom…oxygen…need some."

Paula lets go chuckling making sure to swat me on the arm.

Ow.

Child abuse.

"You're so silly Spence."

"Yeah Spencer you're so silly." I glare at Madison and she's lucky it's her last full day so I'm being nice but once I get back to New York that's it!

No more nice Spencer Carlin.

Imma start slapping people up when they bust my chops.

"Madison, Aiden lovely to see you two again please come in we're cooking up a storm back here." My dad says, smiling and waving around a pair of tongs.

I go to follow my friends into the house and my mom stops me.

"Spencer you mind going into the car and grabbing the ice your brother forgot to bring it in."

"What? Why me? Glen's the one that forgot it make him do it!"

Yes I'm aware I'm acting like a brat.

Shut it.

"I asked you and no one said it was Glen."

I give her my best don't play with me face.

"Mom only Glen is stupid enough to leave ice inside a car in the middle of the summer in freaking LA."

She tries not to smile but fails because come on it's true and I'm also pretty damn funny.

"Don't speak about your brother that way…even if it is true just please get the ice for me and come inside."

I groan and stomp towards the car.

Yes, I really did stomp.

And?

I'm being an ass because I miss Ashley.

I miss Ashley and I can't get the image of us together last night out of my head and what makes it worse, the more I think about it the more Lexy's sad face is popping into my head.

I'm the worst best friend in the history of best friends.

I'm worse than that best friend that leaves you behind if a murderer is after you, and you fall over. They say forget about me but they don't really mean it you're supposed to go back and get them. I'm worse than the ones that don't.

And if you ask me, those are pretty shitty friends.

Like seriously, a psychotic murderer is after you and you leave them behind?! Clearly I'm straying off topic here but I guarantee I'm worse.

She thinks it's her fault and it's all mine.

Good job Spencer you've won the douchebag of the year award.

And that don't just hand those out all willy nilly.

You have to be one hell of a douche bag to get one.

Sigh.

I suck.

I walk back into the house, melting ice in hand and bump into Glen.

"Hey loser watch where you're going you're dripping water everywhere."

"Well the ice wouldn't be dripping if you didn't leave it in the car."

He grumbles something and brushes past me. Seconds later I hear him slip and fall and groan in pain.

I laugh, pleased with the outcome.

Thank you melting ice.

"Bag of water anyone?" I announce as I reach the cooler and dump the water and ice inside.

"Thank you for that hun I know it's a hassle to pick up after your brother." I smile at my dad as he adjusts the apron around his neck. I chuckle at the quote in front of it. He looks down with a smile and puffs his chest out.

"Real men don't use recipes huh?" I ask with a smirk as I take my camera from my bag and snap a picture of him. He wipes down his apron and nods. I point towards the house with my thumb. "So I can go hide mom's cookbook then?"

His eyes widen slightly and he puckers his lips. Shaking his head slowly, I pat him on the arm as I walk away.

"Don't do it Spencer!" He shouts at me and I turn and throw him a wink. I take a seat on the picnic table, setting my feet on the benches. I grab handful of chips and shovel them into my mouth.

Mmmm chips. They're so delicious.

"Is it a crime for you to actually sit on a chair Spence?" I roll my eyes at mother.

"I like to stand out from the crowd mother, everyone uses a chair. How can you deny me the one thing that allows me to express myself?"

She looks at me with a quirked brow. I totally got that from her. I won't admit it to her though.

"Express yourself into an actual seat."

Ugh she's such a life ruiner. I sit next to Madison who is completely engaged in the scene between me and my mother.

"Aiden would you like a beer?" I shoot a look at my mother in confusion. Aiden clears his throat clearly nervous. He stammers out an answer and my mother only chuckles. "I'm sure you guys drink anyway as long as you're not reckless I don't mind. I'm a cool mom."

My eyes shoot open.

"Mom! I told you to stop watching Mean Girls. It's not going to make you cool!"

Madison and Aiden share a laugh at my horrified face.

Paula just waves a dismissive hand. "You're so not down Spence, chill out."

Oh my God what is happening?!

"No stop it! Stop it right now."

My mother pouts and crosses her arms. "Boo, you whore."

Aiden and Madison erupt in laughter and I can't help but join them because honestly how often does your mother reference an epic line from one of the greatest movies.

I sigh containing myself and I'm actually glad that I can manage a good time.

Madison, Aiden and I regale our events during their stay waiting for the rest of the guests to arrive. Clay arrives with his girlfriend Chelsea who I must say is cute as a button and pretty artsy herself. She definitely adds some oomph to my brother because, don't get me wrong I love him to death, but dude's a bit boring.

I'm just saying.

"So you're a photographer?" Chelsea asks me and I look over to my brother Clay who has his arm around her waist while he talks to Aiden about something I really don't feel like hearing about.

Madison ran away with my mom somewhere and I hope there not scheming anything against me. Those two in a room alone isn't safe.

"Yeah, it's everything to me. I actually recently found out that I may have a spot in Yossi Milo Gallery."

Ugh someone stop me I sound so conceited.

Chelsea doesn't seem to think so because she's urging me to go on thoroughly impressed with my accomplishment.

"Wow girl that's one of the top gallery's on the East Coast. How'd you snag that?"

"My gir…" Oh watch it Spence she's not your girlfriend. "My good friend" I correct myself quick.

Chelsea catches my Freudian slip and eyes me with a smirk.

Ugh not another person knowing about my home-wrecking abilities.

That's the last thing I need.

"Well that's some good friend." She emphasizes good and I have half a mind to shout 'bitch you don't know my life' but I'm not rude.

I smile a little embarrassed and look away.

Can this day get any stranger?

"Presenting the new and improved Paula Carlin!"

Madison announces and I close my eyes in horror willing the scene away. I open one eye and shake my head.

Nope I'm not dreaming,

"Whoa honey you look smokin'!" My dad say then whistles at my mom.

What the hell?

What is with my parents trying to be cool today?

Stop trying to make it happen! It's not going to!

I watch as my father kisses my mother softly on the lips…aww that's cute.

I grab my camera that I placed on the table and take a picture of them. Then turn around and take a picture of Clay and Chelsea as he wraps his arms around her lovingly and she chuckles at the scene unfolding in front of her.

Yeah, you never get used to the Carlin antics.

Madison orders Paula to twirl around to show off her new attire. Her hair and makeup is done. She's wearing a skirt and blouse that I didn't even know she owned, with sandals that have a slight heel to them.

Mind you my mother is mostly in scrubs and sneakers so I'm sure I'm not the only one caught off guard.

"Hey who's the hottie?" I hear my brother shout from inside the house. "Ah!" He screams once my mom turns around and he realizes he just called our mother hot. "I'm scarred for life." He cries out as he drags himself to the picnic table and plops himself down next to me. "I'll never live that down." He mumbles into his arms as he hides his face embarrassed.

He most certainly doesn't as he is the butt of all jokes throughout the day. I berate Madison for going all "Extreme Makeover: Paula Edition" on my mother and she proceeded to tell me I was next.

This bitch.

As if I don't already look like Paula enough!

The food never stops and I don't stop eating because it's freaking delicious! The music is blaring and I'm halfway on probably my tenth beef rib when I hear it.

The eye opening situations are not going to stop today it seems.

"Come on Glen dance with your hot mom!" My mother shouts and I try to hide my laugh.

Any attention drawn to me and I'm sure I'll get dragged up there too.

My two best friends willingly get up and join my brother Clay, Chelsea, and my dad on the dance floor aka the middle of my backyard.

I try to make myself invisible as I eat my food.

"Don't think you're going to get away from me Spence."

Maybe if I stay really still and keep eating she'll go away.

It's what possums do, they play dead!

It works for them every time.

Just keep still.

Keep…still.

My mother taps me on the shoulder.

Damn it all to hell!

"Mom no I hate this song and I hate dancing."

She's rocking from side to side right now with the dopiest grin on her face. I take another bite of my rib.

"I'm in the middle of a rib situation here I can't be bothered." I say with my mouth half full. Attractive I know.

"Funky!" My mother starts to sing and clap her hands.

My eyes get wider and I swear they're about to fall out of my face.

She starts to follow the instructions of the song. Stomping her right foot, then her left.

Someone save me.

She holds her hand out to me and I just look at her and wave my rib bone in the air.

She takes it and drops it onto my plate.

"Come on Spence, take it back now!" Madison is shouting from middle of yard I point a warning finger at her. She hops once in the air flashing me a wide smile.

I'm gonna smack her.

My mother goes all Hulk on me and grabs my hand pulling me out of the seat, dragging me towards the dance floor. I cross my arms over my chest and watch the buffoonery around me.

"Cha cha real smooth."

Freaking DJ Casper. I hate your whole existence.

"Spencer if you don't dance I'm going to put this song on repeat!"

Really?

"Do we have to result to threats mother?"

She flashes me a smile.

Only the evil smile that way.

I break down and dance to this wretched song and look around me everyone seems to be enjoying themselves and I just go with it.

"How low can you go? Can you go down low? All the way to the floor? How low can you go?"

I hate that I'm enjoying myself right now.

This song is awful.

I swear if they play electric slide next I'm outta here.

DJ Casper is telling everyone to reverse and it dawns on me that no one ever knows what the hell to do in this part?

Reverse what?!

Are we supposed to spin, do the dance backwards, what?!

We're cha cha-ing and I thank the heavens that this song is over. I turn to the back door and see Stacy standing there. I close my eyes in frustration.

I'd rather do the Cha Cha Slide again.

I look over to Madison and she gives me this look.

She's telling me to do what I know I probably should've done a while ago.

I walk over to her and she leans in to give me a kiss.

"Hey what are you doing here?" I ask a little caught off guard by her presence.

She looks at me with a sad smile, great I already hurt her feelings.

"I got off work early, thought I'd come by. Your front door was open and I heard the music so I just came in, hope that's okay."

She looks down for a minute and looks up at me.

This feeling of dread steals all the joy I just had a few seconds ago. I swallow the lump in my throat and just nod.

I lace our fingers and I bring her up to my room.

I close the door behind us and when I turn around it becomes clear that she's under the wrong impression of why I brought her up here.

She's gently pushes me against my door and captures my lips with hers. I kiss back for a moment before I gently push her away.

"Is everything okay?" I lick my lips and drag my thumb against my bottom lip as I muster up the courage to deal with this. I've never broken a heart before. I've had my heart broken but this is way too hard. "Spence?" She calls out to me and I can hear the worry in her voice.

I step out of her embrace and clear my throat.

"Here's the thing…"

Well that's an awful start.

I wring my hands together.

She's looking at me with those big green eyes and another wave of guilt hits me.

She doesn't deserve this.

She deserves someone who won't cheat on her.

Shit I'm Carmen.

I hurt a perfectly innocent person... and for what?

Okay well I love Ashley that's the difference but I could've went about this differently.

I should've never her lead her to believe I wanted a relationship.

Should've could've would've, but I didn't.

"Spencer?" She grabs me by my hands and I look at her. "Whatever it is you can tell me."

Ugh please don't be nice.

Throw something.

Make a scene.

Be crazy…anything to make this easier.

"Stacy you were so unexpected. I'd just got out of this relationship and things were a bit hectic for me. From being cheated on…"

"I'd never hurt you that way Spence." She reassures me.

Really? Really?!

I give her a sad smile and nod letting her know that I knew she wouldn't.

"Just let me get this out okay?" She nods and I lead her to sit on my bed.

I fold one leg under the other and she places her hand on my thigh.

"You are so great. Like the most amazing person I know. You're beautiful, talented, and I'm so lucky to have you in my life and I hope that never changes because I've become quite fond of you."She smiles and I take a deep breath, willing myself to continue. She squeezes my thigh gently encouraging me to go on. "I like you Stacy, but just... it's not enough."

Her hand slides off my thigh and I can't breathe.

"Oh." She whispers.

I'm pretty sure my heart is coming out of my chest right now. I take a quick look and I don't see it but it sure as hell feels like it is.

"I just…it's not fair to you to be with someone that doesn't like you as much as you deserve to be liked."

She looks up and her eyes are glossy. She looks like she may cry.

Oh please don't cry.

She swallows and clears her throat as she tries to find something to say.

"Was it something I did?" Her voice raspy as she fights threatening tears.

Ugh goodness! I'm going to hell.

"No, no, no. I swear it's not you it's me."

She snorts at the cliché answer and I don't blame her because honestly I want to punch myself for saying that.

I reach out for her but she moves away.

"Don't."

I raise my hands in surrender completely understanding her need to not being touched right now.

She sighs and runs a hand through her short hair.

She really is cute.

"I'm so sorry Stace I really wish I could make this work. You're so amazing…"

"Please stop." She chokes out and quickly stands up.

"I…" I start again but the look she's giving me shuts me up quick. It's not angry it's pleading.

She needs me to stop trying to explain because no matter what it doesn't make sense.

At least not for her.

"It's been fun Spencer." She tells me then gives me a soft kiss on the lips. I don't hesitate to give her this one last thing. She pulls away with a soft smile and I mirror the action. "Goodbye." She says and then turns to walk away. I look down into my lap and hear the door open then close. I feel a tear roll down my cheek.

I didn't even realize I was crying.

I wipe it away and sniffle.

This hurts a lot more than I thought it would.

I don't deserve to feel bad so I opt for my primary emotion of the summer.

Guilt.

–

Chapter title- Jason Reeves- Helium Hearts


	33. We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together

****I am so sorry for the delay guys. I got that root canal and ended up getting an infection and then had to get the tooth pulled so I've been in so much pain plus I'm on vacation. Some vacation huh. I'll try not to make the next update too long from now. Until then I hope you enjoy this one.

Enjoy!

* * *

**We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together**

"So she wasn't mad or anything?" Madison asks as we lay down on my bed.

"Nope." I shake my head. "She just looked so hurt Mads. I feel terrible." I groan and roll over on my stomach, burying my face in my pillow.

"Break-ups are always hard Spence, but you did a good thing. You didn't really like that girl, as hot as she was..." Madison pauses. I lift my head and look at her with a raised brow. She's looking off like she's imagining Stacy's face right now.

So gay.

"Madison!" I snap her back to reality.

She quickly shakes her head and continues. "You did what was right and I'm proud of you." She places a hand on my back as I drop my head back into my pillow.

I just wanna scream right now.

I came to Los Angeles this summer to get away from all the drama.

But it followed me here.

Maybe I should put out a restraining order.

"Spencer you have company!" I hear my mom yell up the stairs. I hop up from my bed quickly, thinking it may be Ashley. I know it can't be Stacy, she just left and if I were her... I probably wouldn't want to see my face right now.

I can't believe I used the 'it's not you it's me' line on her.

What the hell was I thinking?

I run down the stairs into the living, skidding to a stop when I see who this said guest is.

"Hi." She smiles, giving me a small wave.

What. the. fuck!

"Carmen." I breathe out, in complete shock. How in the hell did she even find me? I never gave her my address. Maybe she's the one I should have taken the restraining order out on. "What are you...how did you...what the fuck?" I whisper out the last part as she makes her way over to me.

"Nice to see you too." She smirks once she reaches me. Of course she smirks. I roll my eyes and step back when she reaches a hand out to touch me.

"What the hell are you doing here?" I ask through gritted teeth. "How did you even find me?"

"You're listed." She shrugs and steps closer to me again. "I needed to see you Spence. You haven't been returning my calls." She moves closer and I step back.

"For a reason." I nod.

"Spencer I miss you. I don't see how you can just push me aside like I never mattered to you." Classic Carmen. Always making herself out to be the victim. Like when I found out she cheated she told me the girl seduced her. I asked her if the girl put a gun to her head and forced her to bring her to Kaci's party the next night too. She had nothing to say after that.

"I'm not doing this with you." I shake my head. I refuse to let this day get any worse. "You need to leave my house."

"Why would I do that when your mom just invited me to stay and eat?" She smirks.

Ugh! Her and that damn smirk!

"Ma!" I shout.

"Yes dear?" She answers from the kitchen.

"Carmen can't stay she has to go." I shout back and I made sure to shout it loud enough for Madison to hear.

She should be down here in three...two...

"What the hell is that skank face doing here?" Madison says from the top of the stairs.

"Hello, Madison." Carmen sighs, stepping back from me.

"Don't hello me hoe." Madison snaps, coming down the stairs. I stifle a laugh. See why I love Madison so much?

"Madison I don't want trouble." I bet you don't. "I just came here to talk to Spencer."

"Who doesn't want to talk to you." I chime in.

"Well that settles that. You can leave now." Madison shoos her towards the door.

"Spencer." Carmen turns to me, ignoring Madison. "Please, just give me a minute of your time. That's all I'm asking." I sigh and turn to Madison. She shakes her head no but I tell her with my eyes that I need to do this. If this is the only way to get rid of her, then I'll do it.

"Fine." I say and brush past her to the front door. When I open it Ashley and Lexy are on the other side, Ashley's around wrapped around Lexy's shoulder and they're both smiling.

"We made it after all." Lexy smile and kisses my cheek. "Who's that?" She asks, looking past me to Carmen.

"Carmen." I reply, looking at Ashley. Her eyes go wide briefly before she turns away from me. Are you fucking kidding me right now Ashley!

I guess they didn't break up.

"Your ex?" Lexy whispers.

"Yeah." I nod and side step them. "Everyone's in the back. Carmen are you coming?" I shout back into the house as I walk down the drive way. When she reaches me I say in a snappy tone, "You've got two minutes."

She nods and wipes her hands on her shorts nervously. She clears her throat before beginning. "I can't tell you how sorry I am for what happened-"

"So you've said." I cut her off with an unimpressed look on my face.

"I know." She nods once. "But I'm here to make it right. I want...no I need you in my life Spence. Nothing's the same without you. I miss you and I know that I don't deserve your forgiveness but I'm asking...begging you for it." She moves closer to me, taking my hand in hers. I go to pull away but stop myself...I'm not sure why. She places my hand over her heart. "My heart only beats for you Spencer. I'm sorry that it took me so long to figure that out. I'm sorry that I hurt you. I want you to know that I love you and I'll always love you. I just want a second chance to prove that to you."

I sigh and drop my head. Carmen always have had a way with words. It's one of the reasons I fell for her.

But clearly this isn't going to happen.

I'm in love with Ashley.

I just broke up with Stacy; a perfect girl. Why would I break up with her to get back with someone who cheated on me?

"I understand what you're saying Carmen." I tell her, taking my hand back. "I know you're sorry." I nod. "But it's too late. You fucked up... I get that everyone makes mistakes and I can forgive you for that. But I can't forget. I will always picture you with her when I see you and so we would never work. I'm sorry." I lean forward and kiss her on the cheek. "Thank you for apologizing." I nod and give her a small smile. "But you need to leave." I tell her and turn to walk back into the house, leaving her to get back to New York, however she got here.

Spencer!" She yells my name but I don't stop... I can't stop.

"Alright Spencer!" Madison holds her hand up for me to high five it once I enter the house.

"Were you just being a creeper and listening to my whole conversation?" I ask her with a quirked brow.

"Of course." She shrugs, lifting my arm to make me high five her. I shake my head and smile at my friend as I walk past her. "I had to make sure she didn't try anything." She says following behind me.

"Madison you know I love-." I tell her.

"Who do you love Spence?" Lexy appears out of nowhere. Where the hell did she even just come from?

"Um...uh...Carmen." I offer weakly.

"Is that why you broke up with Stacy?" She asks with furrowed brows.

Huh?

"What?"

"Ashley just told me that she just got a text from Stacy a little while ago saying you broke up with her. If you're in love with her then why'd you get with Stacy in the first place Spence? That doesn't make sense. " I hear Madison snort out a laugh. I turn to her with narrowed eyes. She covers her mouth and walks past us to the backyard.

"No it's not why I broke up with Stacy." I shake my head. That's the first truth I've told her since I've been here. "I just don't think I need to be in a relationship right now. I should have never gotten in a relationship with Stacy in the first place, knowing I still had feelings for Carmen." Back to the lies.

"Aw Spence." She rubs my arm comfortingly. Ugh! Why does she have to be such a good friend? "Well you know I'm here to talk if you need to." She adds giving me a soft smile.

"Kay." I nod and return a smile. "Did you um... did you get a chance to talk to Ashley about last night?" I'm sure Ashley didn't break up with her or tell her where she really was because if she did, we wouldn't be having this best friend like conversation right now.

"I did." She nods. "It was just a big misunderstanding, she told me she stayed at her place and that when she said she was turning in early she was already there so..."

"Oh. So she's not cheating or anything?" I question.

She chuckles and says, "No no, nothing like that. I guess I was just being paranoid or something."

"Are you sure cause I mean..." What the fuck are you doing right now Spencer! "I mean, I'm glad it was just a misunderstanding. I told you, Ashley wouldn't do that. She's perfect." I whisper the last part. Lexy narrows her eyes at me. "For you, I mean. You know, you two are perfect for each other." I smile and she nods.

"We are, aren't we?" She turns and looks at her girlfriend. She's watching us, but drops her head when we turn her way.

"Yeah." I breathe out. "I'm gonna go upstairs for a sec, I'll be right back." I tell my friend. She nods and walks towards the group. I take off up the stairs to my room, shutting the door behind me.

I sigh as I sit down on my bed. I can't take this anymore. All the lying, sneaking around...loving someone that I shouldn't. She's never gonna leave Lexy.

I don't know why I didn't see it before.

A knock on my door pulls me from my thoughts and I look up to see Ashley peeking her head in.

"Can I come in?" She asks. I don't speak I just gesture for her to enter. She comes over and sits next to me on the bed. We sit awkwardly for a moment before she breaks the silence. "I heard about you and Stacy...I'm sorry Spence."

"Why?" I snap, turning my head to face her. "Why are you sad about something you knew was gonna happen?"

"I don't think I understand. Are you mad at me?" She asks.

Really?

"Am I mad, really?" She nods and I stand up from the bed. "No." I shake my head. "I'm not fucking mad, I'm just freaking dandy." I spit out harshly.

"Spencer why are you so upset right now?" She stands, trying to touch me.

"Don't." I pull back.

"Spence?" She questions, scrunching her eyebrows together. She really has no idea right now.

"You're really fucking clueless right now." I shake my head. I can feel the tears building in my eyes. I don't wanna cry right now.

"Spencer just talk to me." She reaches for my hand again but I pull away again.

"You had the chance, the perfect chance to end things with her...and you didn't." I shrug and shake my head as the tears fall.

She opens her mouth to speak but closes it quickly. She reaches for me again, but I snatch my hand away. "It wasn't the right time." She tries.

"When will it ever be the right fucking time?" I shout. She looks like she wants to tell me to keep it down but thinks better of it. "It's never the right time to break someone's heart Ashley, but we have to do it. I broke up with Stacy, you should have seen the look on her face. You think I wanted to do that? Or that I liked it? She was so good to me and I did that. I did that because it had to be done. I knew that I could never love her because my heart...my whole fucking heart already belongs to you." I barely get out through sobs. I didn't realize I was crying so hard.

"Spencer please don't cry." She tries to wipe my face but I push her back, shaking my head.

"I feel like I never had a chance. That you were never gonna leave her. You tell me that you will and that you love me. But not enough to leave her I see." I step back, she steps forward matching my stride. "I can't do this anymore." I shake my head, stepping back again, she mirrors my actions.

"Spencer don't-"

"I won't be this girl anymore." I step back again, slamming into my bedroom door. She steps in front of me, wiping away my tears.

"I love you." She whispers.

Clearly love isn't enough.

I need all of her.

Not the parts left over from Lexy.

"I can't do this Ashley." I shake my head again.

"Don't do this." She whispers, moving closer to my lips.

"I'm not the one doing this."

"I'll break up with her Spencer, I promise. I just need more time."

"There is no more time." I close my eyes and sigh. "You need to go." I tell her, keeping my eyes closed. I can't look at her right now. I know that if I do she'll pull me back in again.

"Spencer." She whispers my name and I all I want to do right now is kiss her and tell her that I love her. That I forgive her for not breaking up with Lexy when she had to chance. That it's okay, I'll wait for her as long as it takes.

But I can't.

I won't...

"Just go, please." I beg. I need her to understand what she does to me, that if she says my name that way one more time I'll cave in.

"I don't want to leave." She whispers in my ear. I open my mouth to speak but the sound of someone calling Ashley's voice stops me.

Of course.

"Your girlfriend is calling you." I say softly, ducking under her arm that she'd placed beside my head, so she could exit the room.

"Ashley!" Lexy shouts again. Obviously searching for her.

"Spence..." She turns and calls again.

"Just go." I shake my head weakly, turning and walking into my bathroom. I hear my bedroom door open and close and I know she's gone.

I slide down my bathroom door, landing on the floor with a soft thud as I let the tears escape.

I did always say I'd rather be the one getting hurt in this situation, so Lexy wouldn't have to.

I guess I never figured it'd actually happen that way...

–

Chapter Title- Taylor Swift- We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together


	34. Falling Apart

Thanks for all the well wishes. I'm feeling a bit better.

Enjoy!

* * *

**Falling Apart**

I roll over again for what seems like the millionth time. I barely got any sleep last night. I fell asleep crying, woke up crying, hell I even had a dream that I was crying.

I didn't even know I contained so many tears in my body, but I cried my eyes out and now my head is killing me.

I roll onto my back and bury my hands over my puffy eyes. I swallow the lump in my throat, refusing to cry anymore.

I'm stronger than this.

I didn't even cry this much when I found out about Carmen cheating on me.

I grab my phone and squint at the brightness as I dismiss another text from Ashley. I really can't talk to her right now. As much as I need her to hold me and kiss all this pain away, I'm not the one she's supposed to be showing that affection towards.

Hell, who am I kidding? I am hers…she's just not mine.

I look at the time and it's almost six in the morning, I groan as I swing my legs over the side and lean my elbows on my knees, burying my face in my hands.

I hear a soft knock on my door and whoever it is doesn't bother to wait for an answer.

Only Madison would do that and I'm not surprised when I hear her New York accent fill my ears.

I'm grateful for the smile that she makes appear when she asks if my ass is up.

"If I wasn't, I am now." I answer with a raspy voice.

Being friends with Madison for the past year, she's become accustomed to my different voices. My morning voice, my whiney voice, my trying to be tough but I ain't fooling anyone voice, and my voice post cry fest.

I sigh as she sits next to me and links her hands with mine. I look at her sadly and she pulls me into a hug.

I tried not to but it happened anyway. She rubs circles on my back as I cry some more.

She pulls away from me and gives me her infamous 'start talking' stare. I bite my bottom lip nervously hoping that will deter her from getting me to divulge last night's events.

It doesn't.

"You wanna tell me why you suddenly became a mute last night?"

"Do I have to?"

"Why you asking stupid questions?"

I groan and my tired voice fills the air and I tell Madison about my conversation with Stacy, then my conversation with Lexy which she gave unnecessary commentary on.

It helped my mood though.

Then finally about my breakup with Ashley.

I snort at the word breakup.

How do you break up with someone that's not even yours?

We weren't even in a real relationship.

At least not really.

It felt real though.

Every second of it. Every touch, kiss, smile, look. It all felt…feels so real.

The pain that comes with it definitely is unbearably real.

I release a heavy sigh wiping away a tear that made its way to my chin.

"You done?" I look at my best friend with knitted brows then roll my eyes nodding. "You did the right thing. I know that's not what you wanted to hear but the circumstance was shitty and but if it's as special as you say it is it shouldn't be done in secret."

My heart hurts.

This isn't helping, as encouraging as her words are they aren't doing anything for the pain.

"I love her."

"I know you do and she loves you but she needs to love you the right way and running around to secret apartments and secret gardens. That's not enough, you deserve so much more than that Spence. You of all people."

"How can you make me seem like the victim when Lexy…"

"Lexy is oblivious as shit if she can't see that her girlfriend is obviously in love with someone else. She deserves to have her girlfriend stolen."

I smirk. "That's not nice."

"I know but it's true. I'm just saying chick as dumb as…" She rolls her eyes at my stern look. "Fine but she's an idiot. I'm going to go wake up Aiden, our flights in a few hours and he's always a pain in the ass to wake up and your ass better not fall back asleep. You're our ride and I need to get the hell outta here. As great as it was too see you, I like New York Spencer better."

"There's only one me Madison."

"Debatable."

I chuckle as she groans dramatically and walks towards the door. As she opens it she shrieks a little grabbing her chest. I shake my head as I see my mother awkwardly trying to look casual in the hallway.

Really how can you be casual in a hallway?

She circles a bit and paces back and forth before she settles on one direction and walks that way. Madison points a thumb in my mother's direction with raised brows.

I just raise my hands up surrendering any admittance to knowing the woman. My best friend laughs as she exits my room and I get up to get ready. As I'm getting dressed someone knocks on my door again.

"Madison go away, I'm up."

"It's mom." She tells me as she opens the door a crack, popping her head in.

What's the point in people knocking if they are going to just come in anyway?

I wave my mother inside and she enters closing the door and leaning on it.

I lean against my dresser my clothes in my hand as I pick out what I'm going to wear. Like it matters I'll probably end up here later today doing exactly what I've been doing.

Crying pathetically over a girl who isn't even mine to cry over.

I must remember the not mine part.

It's not working, but hopefully I'll drive myself crazy enough to believe it.

"I couldn't help but overhear." My mom starts and I snort.

That's always code for 'I was camped outside your door listening.'

"You sure about that mom?" I ask with a bit of an attitude. I don't mean it, not entirely at least but I'm sad, tired, and cranky, my pseudo girlfriend and I are no longer together, my best friend doesn't know I'm in love with her girlfriend, and my other best friend is leaving me today. So forgive me if the image of my mother with her ear pressed against my door doesn't make me want to do cartwheels.

"Spencer I'm sorry about you and Ashley, I can tell you two really cared for each. It's just sometimes things work out for the best though."

I grunt an acknowledgment.

Best for whom?

Nothing's working out best for me in this situation.

Ugh…listen to me. I'm that gross annoying pessimistic person that no one wants to talk to cause all they do is talk about themselves and how much their life sucks.

Good grief.

"If you and Ashley are meant to be together I'm sure it'll work out."

"Are you? Like how sure? Give me a ballpark figure mom, because right now I'm in the negatives and things aren't looking too bright and sunny from my point of view. I just need her and I can't have her. I shouldn't want her, but that's all that matters to me right now, her and I together and that's the shitty part you know? Excuse my language. We won't ever be together and I knew that. I knew that the moment Lexy introduced Ashley as her girlfriend and I've just gotta deal with it. So I appreciate your pep talk mom but it's not nearly peppy enough." I look at my mother with a sad smile and she holds her arms out towards me.

I blame my depressed state because I cave in and go into my mother's arms.

Hmmm feels kinda nice actually.

"Young love is always the worst. It's always so much more complicated than it has to be. The answers are always simple but it's the actions that are difficult."

My mother, Yoda, ladies and gentlemen.

"How about I make you some pancakes?"

"With chocolate chips?" I ask with a full on pout because I mean hello? Chocolate chip pancakes? They are sure to make any crappy day better. She nods and gives me one final bear hug. I let her get away with it because I hardly ever give them and she leaves me alone in my room to finish getting ready.

I walk into my bathroom and look at the spot where I sat on the floor crying last night. I swallow the lump in my throat as I fight the threat of new tears.

No.

I won't go back to that again.

I'm stronger than this.

–

"Aiden stop pouting!"

"But I don't want to leave." He answers his girlfriend with an exaggerated pout.

"Then I'll leave your ass here I don't care."

"But LA is so cool."

"I'll revoke your New Yorker license for talking crazy."

"Think of what we'll be leaving though babe."

I laugh at the couple because honestly they're the greatest. Ugh I still have to wait almost two months before I can see them again.

"Aw Aiden I'll miss you too." I hold open my arms for him to hug.

"Oh yeah right, and Spencer's here too." He gives a quick glance to the floor before giving me a tight smile and wrapping me into his arms.

I slap him hard on the back. He winces.

"Jerk you weren't sad about leaving me."

He chuckles and gives me a skeptical look. "Of course I was."

I shake my head at him as we walk further into the terminal. My father was nice enough to let me take his car, catching a ride with my mom to work. I've got great parents, they just click so well.

I smirk to myself as I think about my mom and when she told me how she stole my dad from her best friend.

Maybe steal is too strong of a word.

Gravitated maybe?

Like how can you help the attraction you have towards someone, especially when it's so strong?

My parents couldn't and I'm sure my mother felt bad but really when it's love do you get a right to be selfish.

When it's this real does the fact that someone you really care about gets hurt not matter?

They got through it, they're extremely happy.

What are the chances for me?

"So why don't you just hop on the plane with us?" Madison asks with a large grin.

"Tempting."

Seriously is. It'll be easier to stay away from Ashley all the way in New York.

But running won't fix anything.

"So you're gonna come?" Aiden asks with an even larger smile.

I glare at him. "Like you want me around ass."

He chuckles then tries to pull me into an embrace.

Okay I'm at my hugging quota for the day.

I walk with them to the counter as they check in and I'm getting sadder with every step. I really hate that they're leaving.

I know I'm going to see them soon but they would be a really good distraction.

Now who am I going to hang out with?

Glen?

I don't think so.

And Clay is always so busy with school or Chelsea.

They get their tickets and I'm trying my best not to pout.

It's not working but Madison is a little bit more sympathetic towards me than she was with Aiden. Only a little though.

"Don't go shedding tears missy I'll see you soon."

I just nod not trusting my voice cause I really do want to cry. I'm too emotional I need to get a grip.

They walk towards the security line and I feel like running after them. They turn to give me a final wave goodbye. I furrow my brows as I notice Madison's face.

She looks like she's about to murder me.

I look at her confused and I get more nervous as Aiden holds her back and motions towards the officers at the head of security.

What the hell is happening?

"Fancy seeing you here."

Oooooh. Now I get it.

I drop my head in defeat as I turn around with a sigh.

"Carmen, hi."

Ugh I really wanted to say something clever and insulting but I'm not in the mood.

She's even surprised as her brows raise a little at my greeting. I take a quick glance over my shoulder and I see Madison walking through the security line backwards. I love how protective she is.

"Hey, I'm not stalking you or anything I swear."

Oh right, Carmen's here. I look back at her and nod slowly.

"Technically you are since you flew all the way over here and found me by looking in the phonebook. "

I didn't even know they still made phonebooks.

I'm surprised they still make paper with how technologically dependent everyone is.

Carmen speaks and good thing she does because otherwise I would have forgotten she was still here.

"Yeah well after last night I kind of got the hint." She adjusts her messenger bag on her shoulder and lets out a nervous laugh. She clears her throat and she looks like she's going to say something. "So…you and Ashley huh?"

I furrow my brows and my mouth drops open. She waves a hand to wave off my freak out of her possibly knowing.

"I saw the way she was looking at me when she and her girlfriend, I'm assuming with the way they were cozied up, came over last night."

"She just knows our situation Madison looks at you the same way all the time."

Carmen smirks and if I've never seen Ashley smirk it probably would've made my knees weak. I watch as she shakes her head no.

"No Madison glares at me like a best friend Ashley…Ashley glares at me like a lover."

I glare at her like I want to murder her and she chuckles a little.

"Yup a little of that look mixed with a lot of hate and envy. It's not too fun to be looked at that way. I hope you never get to experience it."

"Don't judge me!" I half shout and she gently places a hand on my arm. I shrug it off.

"I'm not judging you Spence. I know that things don't always work out the way we'd like but that doesn't mean that we shouldn't try. I tried to get you back and I accepted that my chances are shot to hell now, but I still tried. I'll see you around Spence, maybe we can grab a coffee or something when you get back. You know…as friends?"

I sigh gently shaking my head. It's not good to have so much hate in your heart and I do forgive her and I'll never forget but doesn't mean that I shouldn't move on.

"Yeah maybe…don't hold your breath though."

She smiles softly and places a gentle kiss to my cheek. It catches me off guard and she walks past me. I swear I hear Madison shout something.

I turn around and see my best friend trying to come back through security. Aiden quickly detains her before the police do.

She's crazy.

I watch as Carmen walks away then turns around to look at me.

"Not for nothing Spence she's crazy if she doesn't pick you."

I look down for a minute to hide my smile. When I look up she's still standing there looking at me.

"Go before you miss your flight."

She makes a nervous face.

"I think I'm on the same flight as Madison. It was the first one out. So you probably won't ever see me again."

I shrug. "Probably."

She laughs and nods in agreement, she waves and walks away.

This is turning out to be an excruciatingly emotional morning.

–

I glance down at my phone and see it's a call from Ashley. I sigh. I haven't answered a single call from her all day. I don't feel like I should.

Ashley has that way about her... you know what I'm talking about. She can't get whatever she wants at anytime.

I groan as I answer the phone.

"Yes Ashley?"

She sounds surprised that I answered the phone.

"Oh my God, Spence. I..." She pauses and sighs, then I hear a bunch of noise in the background. Is that Lexy's voice I hear? I so can't do this.

"Ashley I'm gonna go."

"No wait." She stops me. "I'm so sorry I'm about last night Spence. I swear that I'm gonna do it. I just need time. I need to-"

"It's not about you anymore Ashley! I've given you enough time to do this. It's been going on way too long now. I just can't do it anymore.: I sigh and drop my head in my hands as I ready myself to say the next part. "I don't think we should see each other anymore while I'm here." Her voice hitches and but she doesn't say anything so I continue. "I just... I think it's what's best. I guess it's good anyways you know... Lexy never has to know and we'll-"

"No!" She shouts surprising me. "No." She says again, this time softly. "I will not do that Spence. I won't-"

"I can't do this anymore Ashley. I'm sorry. I gotta go." I tell her. I don't wait for her to reply as I hang up the phone with a sigh. I can't believe I just did that.

I don't head back home. I have nothing to do there. I drive around aimlessly and I think of how alone I feel right now. My phone buzzes again and I dismiss the call dropping it into the passenger seat.

Not sure which of them it was. It's either Ashley or Lexy.

I've stopped looking at this point.

I can't talk to either of them right now, and I don't know when I'll be able to.

I've never wanted school to start so badly before.

There's no reason why I can't head back to New York, but I know Paula will not be too pleased with my attempt of leaving a month and a half early especially since I didn't even come home for the holidays.

I pull up to the house and smile softly as I look over to the gate.

It feels like a lifetime ago since we climbed over it.

I sigh and get out of the car. I'm not really sure why I'm at Mrs. Williams' house. I shouldn't expect that she's home just because she's an elderly, doesn't mean she doesn't have a life. I get to the door and ring the bell anyway.

It isn't long before she answers the door and she looks surprised but happy to see me.

"Come in, come in dear. What a lovely surprise."

I give her a hug and she pats my back.

"I hope I'm not intruding." I offer politely and she waves a hand.

"Nonsense you're never intruding. All alone today?"

You have no idea.

"I get you all to myself this time." I offer with a smile and she laughs as we make our way towards the kitchen.

She points a finger at me and motions for me to sit down. I do as I'm told and take a spot at the counter. She pulls a pitcher out of the fridge and giggle as I see her wave it in the air.

Iced tea.

It's nice to have a place to be easy for a minute. She's not expecting anything of me and vice versa.

"So to what do I owe the pleasure?" She asks as she pours me a glass and hands it over.

I take a sip before answering with a shrug. "I just wanted to see a friendly face."

"I'm sure you've got plenty of unwrinkled friendly faces to visit. So how about you tell me what's really going on?"

Old people are so wise.

"Do I have to?" I ask not really wanting to but needing to.

She shakes her head no and before she can utter a word the house phone rings. She excuses herself as she shuffles to go answer it.

I take this time to get up and walk to my favorite place.

I take a deep breath as I walk outside and up the familiar path leading towards our garden.

I see her everywhere. I see our kiss, I feel her touches, and her lingering gazes.

I take the spot on the bench she sat on as she played me one of the songs she wrote for me and my heart swells at the memory, then quickly breaks at the thought of it being only that. A memory.

"You know my husband built this little garden for us." Mrs. Williams says and her voice startles me a little. She continues. "He thought it would be a nice addition to have a place that didn't feel like the city also a place that always remained ours, like a capsule of sorts and I think he did a great job."

I smile. "He sure did." I look around and clench my jaw as a new set of emotions come over me.

Don't cry.

Don't you fucking cry.

I hold my hand to my eyes to prevent tears from shedding I don't want Mrs. Williams to see me this way.

She doesn't seem to care as she wraps a supportive arm around my shoulder.

I sniffle and give her a sad smile.

"Sometimes getting away is the best thing to realize what you need to go back to."

I choke out a pathetic laugh cry type thing. Those always sound awkward.

"I don't know what to do with that Mrs. Williams."

"I don't either," She shrugs seriously. "I read it on a fortune cookie." We share a laugh and she wipes my tears away. "You're a special girl Spencer and I'm glad to have met you."

"Feeling is mutual." She points to the bench and we walk over to sit down. She leans back and her feet glide over the grass.

"You know Spencer…I've lived a long time; seen a lot of things, been a lot of places and it amazes me how people can change. No matter what people change, whether it is for better or worse that's the one consistent thing in life...change, which is ironic if you think about it. Change is consistent."

She gazes off into the distance then looks at me again. "When things feel like they're at the worse Spencer…things will eventually change."

I smile softly and lean back against the bench.

I'm glad I found this place, it gives me Mrs. Williams and the good memories that only Ashley and I share.

This place won't ever change and I'm grateful for it.

–

Chapter title- Matt Nathanson- Falling Apart


	35. Where We Gonna Go From Here

****Loved reading all the feedback from you guys. I hope you enjoy the chapter.

I may pick back up on the FoF next chapter since I am now feeling much better. The chapters that follow this one are... well, you'll see hehe. Enjoy!

* * *

**Where We Gonna Go From Here**

It's been a few days since Madison and Aiden left and tonight is the signing party. Which I've decided I'm not going to by the way. I mean, how awkward would that be?

My ex, my best friend who I'm two timing and the girl I'm in love with that also happens to be my best friends girl, in the same room... Yeah we've been there done that and we see how that turned out the first time.

"Spencer are you going to leave the house today?" My mom peeks her head in my room and asks.

"No." I shake my head, lifting up from the bed to look at her. "I thought I would continue to lay in this bed and drown in my sorrows. Thanks though." I say seriously before laying back down.

"As fun as that sounds..." She pauses, chuckling a bit. Apparently, my misery is funny. "You have company."

"What?!" I jump up from the bed.

"It's not Ashley." She whispers, motioning with her hands for me to settle down.

Well boo!

Yes I know! I'm the one ignoring her but still apart from calling and texting she's done nothing to try to win me back.

I'm sad about it.

But at the same time I'm telling myself that it's for best.

See my conflict?

"Who is it?" I ask, getting up from the bed.

"Lexy." She tells me and I sigh. I've been ignoring her too. I can't really take talking to her right now.

"Tell her I'm not here." I groan and fall to the floor dramatically.

Ahh.. It feels nice down here.

"Too late." My mom says and I lift my head to see Lexy standing in my door with a hand on her hip. Uh oh. I'm in trouble.

"I'll leave you two girls to talk." My mom says and shuts the door. I turn my attention back to Lexy. She looks pissed.

"Lexy I-"

"Don't even Spencer!" She snaps, cutting me off. "How dare you completely disappear on me? You haven't been returning my calls or texts for days now and I tried to come by to see you the other day and you paid Glen to tell me you weren't here!"

I furrow my brows. "How'd you know I paid him?"

"He told me, duh." She answers as she sits on my bed. Figures. I stand up from the floor and sit next to her on the bed. She looks at me and I know she can tell somethings not right. We've been friends long enough for her to read me well enough to know that. "What's going on with you Spence? Why are you shutting me out?"

I sigh and fall back on my bed, covering my eyes with my left arm. "It's complicated Lex." I try to explain.

"Don't give me that bullshit Spence. We've always been able to talk each other. Before you left for New York, we never kept secrets and now I feel like I don't know you at all."

I wish she would just drop this. I feel like at any moment I could blurt out that I'm in love with Ashley.

"I can't..." I trail off, shaking my head.

"Spencer just tell me what's going on with you. You're not being very fair. I'm your best friend but this past few weeks I feel like we're hardly associates."

I know that this isn't exactly how we planned on our Summer turning out. Sometimes I wish I just hadn't of gone to that stupid party in New York. If I hadn't of gone I wouldn't have met Ashley and then I wish that I would have missed my flight so I wouldn't have been sitting next to her on the plane.

But then I think, was all this meant to happen?

It couldn't have just been a coincidence.

There's no way.

"Spencer please!" She begs, breaking me from my thoughts. I can't tell her. I can't do this to her. Not today. Not when the bands signing party is tonight. It'd be so selfish of me.

"Lex this isn't-"

"Please." She asks again. I roll my eyes and sigh. She isn't going to drop this.

"Fine." I breathe out, groaning as I sit up. I turn to look at her, putting one leg up on the bed and wrapping it under my left thigh. She looks at me expectantly, waiting on me to answer her question. To spill my guts about what's wrong with me. "I'm in love with..." I pause and swallow the lemon in my throat. I shouldn't do this. As I scan her face I know I can't...I can't break her heart like this. "With someone I shouldn't want." I tell her. She narrows her eyes at me and scrunches her brows confused.

"Spencer who could you possibly be in love with that you shou-" she stops mid sentence, her eyes widening in realization.

Oh my God!

She's figured it out!

She knows that I'm in love with Ashley.

She knows that I'm the other girl in the situation. That this whole time it's been me that Ashley's been creeping around with. That I'm the homewrecker!

I scoot back away from her a bit as her eyes return to normal size and they scan my face. I gulp loudly and close my eyes to prepare for impact.

Impact from what you may ask.

Well, her fist duh!

I'm expecting a right jab or an uppercut possibly.

Cause if I were her, I know I'd want to punch me if I found out what she just did.

"Spencer." She breathes out. But the tone of her voice isn't what I was expecting and it catches me off guard. I open my eyes and she's looking me dead in mine. Why is she looking at me like that? "I'm so sorry." She shakes her head. Wait what? Why is she sorry? "I never knew. You never told me." She moves closer to me. I'm confused as hell right now. "Why didn't you tell me?" She asks and now it's my turn to give her a confused look.

"Tell you what exactly?" I ask in a soft voice.

She gives me a small smile and rubs my arm lovingly. My gaze immediately turns to my arm that she's rubbing.

What the hell is happening right now?

"That you're in love with me."

What. The. Actual. Fuck.

"Huh?"

"It's okay Spencer." She smiles and pulls me into a hug.

What the hell is happening right now?

"Lex I didn't-"

"You didn't know how to tell me?" She pulls back and asks. I go to speak but she cuts me off again. "I understand." She nods and smiles. "I'm so sorry that you've been holding this in Spence. I swear I didn't know you even had feelings for me like that."

Oh my God! This isn't happening right now.

Nope.

This is a bad dream and I'm gonna wake up in a second.

"I-"

"I love you too Spencer." She nods and speaks slowly. "But..." She pauses, standing up from the bed. "You're my best friend." She starts pacing a small circle in front of me. I'm trying hard not to yell out that I don't love her, I love Ashley! I mean really Lexy? We've been friends forever. I see her more in the platonic fashion you know. "I don' t want to lose that. And plus I'm with Ashley and I love her. You know that if I were single and things were different maybe we could-"

"Lexy!" I stop her, raising my hand. I can't hear anymore of this. "I get it." I nod and give her a weak smile. "I'm not asking for a relationship or anything." I add for no reason.

Ugh! What are you doing Spencer, leading her to believe you're in love with her.

I'm not doing that! I'm just not correcting her.

Same thing.

Oh shut up!

"I'm so sorry." She says again, bending down in front of me. Could this get any worse right now?

"Lex you don't have to apologi-"

"But I do." She nods. "I should have seen it before. You never wanna come home from New York because you feel like it's wrong, right?" I open my mouth to speak again but she cuts me off. "Is that why you stayed away so long?"

"I-"

"And how you stare at me and Ashley all the time." Oh my God, she noticed that. I didn't even know. "Is that why you were so against hanging with Ashley?" She asks. I stare at her and wait for an interruption. When she doesn't pick back up her dialogue, I take it as my cue to talk.

What the hell do I say?

"It's not like that, I just never really thought that-"

"You don't think Ashley's right for me, do you?" Really? Can I talk?

"She's-"

"She's amazing Spencer and I love her. I'm sorry that-"

Ugh! "Lexy!" I shout, cutting her off. I stand up and grab her by her shoulders. She's caught off guard as she stares at me with wide eyes. "It's fine. I don't want to come between you and Ashley. You're happy, I wouldn't want to disrupt that. Just forget about my feelings." I shrug and force a smile.

"But Spencer I-"

"Seriously." I stop her. "It's fine. You're happy and I want you to stay that way." I tell her before pulling her into a hug. "You're a really awesome person Lex, it's hard for anyone not to love you." I roll my eyes at myself. I'm just digging deeper and deeper.

"I love you Spence." She pulls back and kisses me lightly on my lips. Well, that was unexpected and I'm sure my face is saying that. She smiles and hugs me again.

Um...

Okay.

"I love you too, Lex."

"So." She steps back and claps her hands together. "Now that we've cleared that up and you're not avoiding me anymore, how about you get dressed." She smiles, making her way to my closet.

"For what?" I lift a brow.

"Serenity's signing party tonight."

Oh hell no!

"Nope." I shake my head. "I wasn't planning on going to that."

"Yeah, that was when you had this huge secret weighing heavy on your heart." She waves me off. "Now that we're all good, you have no reason not to go."

Boy if she only knew.

"Lex I don't wanna-"

"Spence you're coming!"

What is this, national interrupt the fuck outta Spencer day?

"But I don't really feel well enough to go."

"Chick please." She smacks her teeth and walks into my closet. Ugh! I really don't wanna go. I can't see Ashley. Not right now. Not in this setting. I always seem to fall harder for her when I hear her sing. And I haven't seen Stacy since we broke up. Tonight is not a good night for us to see each other for the first time since then.

Especially not when all my thoughts are Ashley consumed.

"I'll be back Lex." I yell to my friend.

"Okay, I'm just gonna pick you out something to wear." She yells back from inside my closet. I open my door to see my mother trying to scurry away from it. Seriously mom? Again?

"Mom." I call to her before she could get down the stairs. I was actually going to see her anyway.

"Yes dear?" She turns around, pretending to be innocently walking down the stairs.

Yeah, I'm not buying it.

"Can I talk to you a second?" I ask. She nods and points to her room. I follow her inside.

"What is it honey?" She asks as she closes the door behind us.

"I know you heard what happened." I tell her, putting a hand on my hip. Feigning ignorance is not necessary in this situation.

She sighs and smiles. "I did. Spencer you shouldn't have allowed her to believe that you were in love with her." She tells me.

Like I don't know this.

"I know." I breathe out. I'm so emotionally exhausted from all this. It's too much.

"When she finds out it's gonna be that much worse."

"I know. I just didn't want to crush her, you didn't see the look on her face mom. I couldn't do it." I shake my head. I hate that I lied to Lexy once again but it was a little white lie. One to spare her feelings.

"I think you should have just told her. Maybe it wouldn't have hurt so much coming from you. Maybe if you had just explained everything, from the meeting in New York to the two of you..." My mother trails off, giving me this look. She totally knows Ashley and I made love.

Sigh.

I really miss Ashley.

"I haven't talked to Ashley in days, mom. Maybe I can just continue like this and I won't have to tell Lexy anything." I say hopeful.

"You don't really believe that, do you?" She raises a brow at me.

I drop my head and sigh. "No." I tell her shaking my head. "Not talking to her is only making me love her more. I really miss her mom." I can feel the tears building in my eyes. No more crying please eyes!

Thanks.

"I know you do honey." She says, wrapping her arms around me. "I'm afraid that what you're feeling isn't just gonna go away. You can't just push it aside and expect it to."

Why are moms always right in these situations?

Is it safe to assume that it's because they've been through the exact same situation at one point or another in their life?

Ironic how MY mom really has.

"What should I do?" I ask, looking up at my mom.

"I can't tell you what to do Spencer. You just have to do what you feel is right." She kisses me on the forehead and walks out of the room.

I know what I have to do.

I have to come clean.

After the signing party tonight, I have to tell Lexy everything...

–

Chapter Title- Mat Kearney- Where We Gonna Go From Here


	36. I Won't

**I Won't**

"This is amazing right?" Lexy asks as she takes my hand in hers. We've just entered the club where Serenity's signing party is.

"Yeah." I reply nonchalantly as she laces our hands together. I glance down at our hands and rolls my eyes. This is an action Lexy has done so many times before, I don't know why it's so weird now.

Maybe because she totally thinks you're in love with her.

Ooooh look everyone, Captain Obvious is here.

"I'm gonna get us something to drink." Lexy stops us, using her free hand to thumb towards the bar.

"Anything without alcohol in it." I tell her, she gives me a small smile before walking off. I make my way over to an empty table and see a familiar face in the corner.

"Mrs. Williams?" I question, walking over to her.

"Spencer!" She smiles and stands, pulling me into a hug.

"What are you doing here?" I ask. Not that I'm not happy to see her or anything, it's just that it's a club...I never imagined seeing Mrs. Williams at a club.

"Getting my party on of course." She smiles and moves her hips a little, doing this awkward dance. I can't help but smile at her. "Ashley invited me. I couldn't turn down the invitation now could I?" She smiles.

"Well it's good to see you." I hug her again. I've really become quite fond of Mrs. Williams. "Have you seen Ashley?" I ask, looking around.

She gives me a small smile and shakes her head. "No, but a man came on stage a little while ago and said they'd be performing shortly."

"Oh okay." I nod.

"Did you two fix what was going on with the two of you?" She questions. I sigh and take a seat in the chair across from her.

"No ma'am." I shake my head. "I love her a lot. But I broke up with my girlfriend and I don't think she ever will."

"Spencer honey," She reaches over and grabs my hand. "Maybe things are just a bit more complicated for her than for you. How long has she been with her girlfriend?"

"Almost nine months." I reply.

"And you with yours?"

"A month." Ugh! I didn't even think about it that way. It was so easy for me to break up with Stacy because we don't have that history like Ashley and Lexy have. They've been together almost a year, how could I expect her to just end things so easily?

"See." Mrs. Williams says, breaking me from my thoughts. "I'm sure she just needs a little more time honey. A love like the two of you have..." She pauses, smiling and shaking her head. "...it's forever."

"Thank you Mrs. Williams." I smile, standing up from my chair. "I think I should probably go talk to her then, I've been ignoring her the past few days." I give Mrs. Williams one last hug before going off in search of Ashley.

"Where you going?" Lexy steps in front of me, holding a clear liquid out for me. I taste it and see it's Sprite.

"Um... to talk to band. I wanna wish them good luck." I tell her. Which isn't a complete lie.

"Oh okay, I'll come with." She says, taking the drink out of my hand and sitting hers and mine on a nearby table.

"Actually." I stop her as she starts to pull me towards the back of the club. She stops walking and looks back at me. "I wanted to talk to Stacy alone for a moment. I feel like I need to explain some stuff to her and maybe it'd be best if you weren't there." I say, using my friends ignorance to my advantage. I'm such a shitty person...I know.

"Ohhhh." She nods slowly. "Got it. Well I'll be at the table." I nod and she walks back to the table she sat our drinks on. I sigh relief that she got the hint as I make my way to the back of the club.

"Spencer..." I turn around to see Stacy standing there. I haven't spoken to her since the day we broke up. I tried calling her a few times but she didn't answer and I don't blame her. I was really crappy to her and she didn't deserve that.

"Hi." I breathe out as she moves closer to me. She looks super amazing right now and under any other circumstance I think I would tell her that. But I'm sure she doesn't wanna hear that from me right now.

"Hey." She gives me a small smile. A smile is good, right? We stand and stare at each other awkwardly before she breaks the silence. "I'm sorry I haven't been returning your calls, I just... I needed time you know." She says and I nod.

"Yeah, Stace it's okay."

"Good. Cause I didn't want you thinking that I didn't want to talk to you, because I do. I was gonna call you tomorrow actually. I wasn't sure if you were coming tonight."

"Of course Stace, I wouldn't have missed it for anything." I give her a tight lipped smile.

"Kay." She nods and smiles, dropping her head to look at the ground. We grow quiet before she breaks the silence again. "Spencer I've been thinking and I know that you said that things just weren't the same for you as they were for me. I get that. And I respect the fact that you told me. But I want you to know that I really liked you. More than I've ever liked anyone and that's saying a lot." She chuckles and glances back at the ground. "What I'm trying to say is..." Oh my God, please don't say it. "Right now probably wasn't the best time for you. I know your ex really messed you up and you still haven't had time to heal from that. Maybe we could try again someday." She smiles.

I don't know what to say. She's awaiting an answer, an answer that I really don't want to give her, but I know it's necessary. I can't pretend with her anymore.

"Stace, I..." I pause, trying to figure out the best way to say this. I give her a small smile trying to ease the tension I'm feeling. "I can't be with you." I shake my head. "You're an amazing person. Seriously amazing. But I'm just not..." I sigh. Maybe I should just tell the truth. "I have feelings for someone else." I tell her. She drops my hands and steps back. Guess that wasn't what she was expecting and now I feel like I'm breaking up with her all over again.

Nice going asshole.

"Oh." Is all she says.

"Stacy I'm-"

"No." She cuts me off, shaking her head and raising a hand. "I get it." She forces a smile then turns to walk away.

"Stacy please." I call after her retreating figure, but she's gone. "Fuck!" I groan, internally kicking myself.

"Spencer, you're here." I turn around to see Ashley standing there. Suddenly I don't want to talk to her anymore.

"This was a mistake." I turn back around and try to leave. She runs up and grabs me. "Let me go." I try to snatch away. She's got a really good grip on me though.

"No." She shakes her head.

"Ashley let me go." My voice cracks. Ugh! I will not cry anymore over this girl.

"No I won't Spencer." She says, barely audible. I look up to her and see that she's been crying.

"Just let me go, please." I beg, matching her tone. She stares at me intently, scanning my face to see if what I'm saying is what I really want. It is... but it isn't. See what she does to my brain! She wordlessly pulls me into an adjacent room, shutting the door behind us. "Ashley please don't-" I'm cut off by her lips crashing into mine. The kiss isn't rushed or rough. It's exactly what I've been missing. She's telling me how much she loves me and misses me in this kiss.

This kiss is telling me everything I've wanted to hear the past few days.

I love her. I can't deny that. But this love that we have...it shouldn't be a secret. We shouldn't have to hide it from the world. I can't do it anymore. I gently push her back.

She pulls back and looks at me as we both struggle to return our breathing to normal.

"I love you." She whispers, moving closer to my lips. I close my eyes and soak it in.

"I know." I whisper back.

Her loving me isn't the problem. I know that she loves me.

"I love you." She says again, but this time her voice cracks. I open my eyes to see she's crying. I immediately wipe away the tears. "I love you, I love you, I love you." She repeats over and over.

I nod. "I know Ashley. I know." I tell her.

"I'm so sorry that I haven't done it yet. I've tried. I've been trying since the last time we talked. I just don't-"

"We don't have to talk about this right now." I cut her off. She's about to go on stage in a short while and I know how important this record deal is to her. I don't want it to be jeopardized in any way.

"But I need you to know that I'm trying. I want to be with you Spencer. I need you to know that."

"I know." I assure her.

"I love you." She says again, pulling me into another kiss. When we pull back she lays her forehead against mine and sighs. "I don't wanna lose you Spencer, promise me you'll wait. And I know it's selfish of me to ask but I don't care. When it comes to you, I can't help but be selfish. I want you to promise me you'll wait. Please." When I don't say anything she pulls back and looks in my eyes. "Please tell me you'll wait." She asks again.

Of course I'll wait for her. I never planned not to.

There's no escaping this... I know that now. That's why I'm telling Lexy after the party. She needs to know.

"I'll wait for you." I say, barely audible.

She sighs then leans her forehead against mine. I've missed her. I bury fingers in her brown tresses and we just stand in silence for a moment.

"It'll be over soon baby," She pauses and looks up into my eyes. There's meaning behind her words. "I promise." She adds and I sigh knowing that it'll be much sooner than she thinks. She gives me a small smile and kisses me again. "I have go, but you promise not to disappear on me again right?" I nod as she kisses me once more before exiting the room. I sigh before leaving the room. I really don't wanna have this talk with Lexy but I know it has to be done.

A few moments later I leave the room to head back out into the club.

"Spencey!" Andrew shouts, coming up behind me and hugging me.

"Hey Andrew." I chuckle as he sits me back down on the ground.

"I'm so glad you're here." He ruffles my hair. I slap his hand away and he laughs.

"I wouldn't have missed it Andrew. And I'm gonna need autographs from all of you so I can frame them, please and thank you."

"Of course of course." He chuckles out. "We heard about you and Stacy. I'm sorry Spence, that's a real bummer."

"It had to be done I couldn't lie to her anymore. I've done enough of that already." He just nods in understanding. I sigh as I notice her in the distance getting ready on stage. Andrew looks back at his band mate then at me.

"I think she hates me."

He scoffs. "Please, Stacy doesn't have a mean bone in her body."

I groan. "That makes me feel even worse. I totally didn't need to hear that."

He makes a face and scratches under his chin as he thinks. "Well you know I definitely made that up, she's like the Grinch's sister, stealing Christmas presents and making people cry. It's a good thing you ended it, who knows what she would've turned you into." He gives me a soft smile after he delivers his pathetic save.

I snort. "I'm pretty sure it can't be any worse than the person I've become."

He places his hands on both of my shoulders forcing me to look up at him.

"You are not a bad person Spencer. Things just happen and often when they happen like that, that's when you know they're right." I look at him a little confused. I've been getting too many philosophical teachings these past few days. I need someone to give it to me straight. He senses my confusion and tries again. "You already know how I feel about people connecting, it's not a choice. Sure you can choose not to follow your heart, but in the long run does that really resolve anything? You're a really cool chick Spence and I don't care what anyone else says. You're doing what feels right, what you want, people spend too much of their lives doing what everyone else wants. There's nothing wrong with going after what makes you happy." I look down and my mouth twitches up as I smile. "Like I always say you can't help who you connect with."

He pulls me into a hug and pat his back in appreciation. "Thank you Andrew"…

I shake my head and sigh and what is proving to be a stressful night like I knew it would be when I agreed to come. I don't think I can take another heart felt conversation. Especially not the one that I know is inevitable.

"Mom, Glen, What are you two doing here? " I ask when I reach the table Lexy and I were sitting at.

"Ashley invited us. She said that this wouldn't have been possible without me." My mother yells over the music that's playing.

"And Glen?" I question, thumbing in his direction.

"He thinks he's gonna pick up some girls." My mom says rolling her eyes. We both chuckle as I sit down next to her.

"But isn't he in a relationship?" I question with a raised brow.

My mother gives me a side eye, "He's an idiot." She says seriously, causing me to laugh.

"Where'd Lexy go?" I ask looking around. My mother points to the stage and I see Lexy and Ashley talking.  
Oh.

Great.

"Are you okay?" She asks. I look at her, debating on my answer.

"I think I will be."

"Have you decided whether you're gonna-"

"Tonight." I nod, already knowing what she's gonna ask. "After the signing party"

"And are you prepared for the possible outcomes?"

"Not really." I shake my head.

"You need to prepare yourself Spencer. You need to understand that there's a really good possibility that she won't forgive you."

"I know."

"Okay." My mother smiles as she turns back to the stage. I look up and see Lexy is no longer on the stage as Serenity does a sound check.

"Look who I found." Lexy comes from behind me and says. I turn to see her with Mrs. Williams. "I told her to join us." Lexy says. I give Mrs. Williams a small smile as she joins us. Funny how everyone at this table knows about me and Ashley's relationship except Lexy.

After sound check Mr. Levi, the man who signed them, comes on stage and introduces them; acknowledging all the execs and board members in attendance.

"We're gonna do a couple of light songs for you guys to start out. We hope you enjoy them." Ashley smiles as they play their first song. Which just so happens to be the song she sang for me the first night we spent alone together. She named it 'Little Things.'

Next they played the song she sang at my parent's house the time we went over for lunch. 'A Drop In the Ocean.'

Then she sang 'I'd Rather Be With You.'

She glances at me quite a few times during their set and each time I roll my eyes at her. Is she trying to blow our cover right now?

"This next song is new, It was written a few days ago and well um... we're just gonna play it for you guys. It's called 'I Won't.'" Ashley tells the crowd. A few people cheer as they start the song. As Ashley strums her guitar her eyes shift to me. We shouldn't have sat so close to the stage. She needs to not give me those eyes right now.

"_I won't do what you told me. I won't do what you said, no. I'm not gonna stop feeling. I'm not gonna forget it. I don't wanna start over. I don't wanna pretend that. You are not my lover. That you're only my friend." _Falls from Ashley's lips and I drop my head and shake it. She's not doing this right now. Not in front of Lexy.

Lexy can't be this blind.

"Oh snap." Glen says and snickers. I shoot him a death glare. I notice Lexy switching her gaze between me and Ashley. I close my eyes and try to ignore the fact that my friend is piecing it all together right now.

"_Cause when you took my heart. You took it all. When you gave it back. It fell apart. So..." _When the chorus comes in Ashley and Andrew sing together.

"_I won't do what you told me. I won't do what you said, no. I'm not gonna stop feeling. I'm not gonna forget it. I don't wanna start over. I don't wanna pretend that. You are not my lover. That you're only my friend. My friend. I won't..."_

"_Maybe you're not right for me. Maybe it's just hard to see. I get lost in your beauty. And I just start questioning. Cause when you took my heart you took it all. But when you gave it back it fell apart."_ She pauses, staring at me intently. I can feel everyone's eyes on me. Why is she doing this to me right now? Stacy follows Ashley's gaze and when her eyes land on me, I know that she knows. I can see it in the way she's looking at me. I look at Lexy who's eyes are fixed on Ashley right now.

"Did you know she was gonna do this?" My mom leans forward and asks me. I can only shake my head.

"Is she singing to you?" Confusion and sadness are lacing her voice and I give her sad eyes. She whips her head in the direction of her girlfriend. It isn't long before Lexy's eyes are on me again. She's glances at me with this look on her face, one I can't read, before turning back to Ashley who's still staring at me.

This time when the chorus comes in Joey sings it with her._ "I won't do what you told me. I won't do what you said, no. I'm not gonna stop feeling. I'm not gonna forget it. I don't wanna start over. I don't wanna pretend that. You are not my lover. That you're only my friend. Friend. I won't..." _

Oh my God!

When the bridge comes in everyone stops playing their instruments except Stacy, as Ashley sings. "_You __say it's easier to burn than to build. You say it's easier to hurt than to heal. But I say you lose when you give up what you love. And I've lived my life without you long enough. You say it's easier to burn than to build. You say it's easier to hurt than to heal. So..." _The boys and Ashley slowly come back in with their instruments as Mikey and Stacy joins Ashley in singing the next part.

"Spence?" I feel my chest tighten as she directs all her emotion at me right now. None of them resembling any form of happiness. She's looking at me in a way she's never looked at me before. Disgust, anger…probably more along the lines of hatred. I don't know what to say. I had a whole speech prepared and now…nothing.

"_I won't do what you told me. I won't do what you said, no. I'm not gonna stop feeling. I'm not gonna forget it. I don't wanna start over. I don't wanna pretend that. You are not my lover. That you're only my friend. Friend. I won't...No, I won't..." _When the final words leave Ashley's lips everyone claps. Everyone except Lexy. Stacy stares at me with so much hurt in her eyes. I've hurt her for like the third time and if I didn't feel shitty before.

"Thank you everyone we're gonna take a quick break and then come back to finish up." Mikey tells the crowd and everyone starts doing their own thing. I tear my eyes from Stacy to look at Lexy. Her head is down. I can't read her face. I can't figure out if I should say something...if she knows.

Of course she knows. Ashley just made it blatantly obvious.

"Spencer." My mom leans forward and whispers. I glare at her. I really don't need a speech right now.

"Lexy." I try. Her eyes snap to me. Yup, she knows. "Lexy wait, let me expl-"

"Go to hell Spencer." She spits out before hopping off her chair and taking off towards the door. I glance at Ashley again as the band shuffles off stage. She's trying to tell me something with her eyes but I'm really not in the mood to hear it. There was a much better way to do this. A way that didn't completely embarrass Lexy and she didn't choose that way.

"Spencer!" She calls after me as I race after Lexy. I catch up to her right as she leaves the club. I grab her arm and she spins around to face me.

"Don't touch me." She tells me with so much hate in her voice. Lexy has never spoken to me this way. I guess I've never really given her a reason to.

"Lexy I'm sorry." I tell her. Like that makes it any better. "I never meant for this to happen. I didn't plan it or anything I swear." I explain.

"This whole time it was you. This whole fucking time."

"Lexy it isn't-"

"You're my best friend Spencer. My best fucking friend and you..." She trails off, shaking her head. Not even able to say the words. She scoffs and turns to walk away again.

"Lexy please." I call to her.

"Spencer." A voice calls to me. I look over and see Ashley's parent's.

Oh my God! As if this night couldn't have gotten any worse.

"Hi Mr. and Mrs. Davies." I reply and in the corner of my eye I see Lexy skid to a stop and turn around. Now she knows that I met Ashley's parents before her.

"You have got to be fucking kidding me! How could I have been so stupid?!" She shouts, shaking her head and turning around again.

"Who's that?" Mrs. Davies thumbs in Lexy's direction.

"Lexy."

"Ah. Now I see why Ashley was hiding her." Mrs. Davies makes a face and I can't help but roll my eyes. She has no idea what Lexy just went through...Is going through.

"Ashley's inside, I gotta go catch up to my friend." I tell them, chasing after Lexy. I hear Mr. Davies say something to his wife along the lines of 'he can't take her anywhere.' "Lexy if you just give me a moment to explain I can-"

"You can what?" She snaps, turning around to face me, almost causing me to crash into her.

"I can-"

"Explain to me how for the past month and a half you've been fucking my girlfriend when you're supposed to be my best friend."

"It isn't like that Lex. I swear. When I met Ashley I didn't know that she was your girlfriend."

"What the hell are you talking about... I introduced you two at the..." She trails off, turning her head to look at the ground as she figures it out. "The girl in New York and the girl on the plane." She says and clenches her jaw. I should have just told her then that it was Ashley, but I didn't know how.

"Yeah." I breathe out.

"Unbelievable." She rolls her eyes and takes off running again.

"Spencer!" Ashley shouts from the club. Ugh! Right now is really not a good time.

I run a frustrated hand through my hair as I try to catch a glimpse of Lexy. She's headed towards her car if I don't find her soon she'll get away.

"Not now Ashley!" I scream out and I hate that I'm yelling at her right now but I'm so fucking confused! I dart towards where Lexy parked her car earlier and I hear footsteps behind me.

Ashley's still running after me.

After me!

If this weren't Lexy I would love this fact, but no, right now my feelings don't matter.

Maybe this whole time they shouldn't have.

"Just wait!"

I whip around and look at Ashley she looks heartbroken but I'm so mad at her.

"What the fuck was that?!" She halts at my words as if they were what stopped her. She tries to approach me but I back away. "You're chasing the wrong person." I tell her. "We have to find Lexy we have to explain." I swallow the lemon in my throat. I feel it. I'm about to lose my best friend. The stinging in my eyes alert me that tears are about to shed. For the first time in days I'm about to cry and it's not over Ashley. So I let them come. Ashley steps closer. "No! Why did you do that?"

"I…I couldn't help it! I just needed you to know, that you're it Spencer you're the one for me. I needed you to know that I won't stop loving you just because you think it's what's best. I wrote that song after our talk the other day. I didn't mean to hurt Lexy. I never did, that was never my intention, but hurting you seemed so much worse."

I shake my head, wiping the tears away. "There was a better way Ashley! I was going to talk to her after the party."

"You were going to talk to her without talking to me first."

My mouth drops open. "Are you kidding?! With that shit you just pulled you should _not _be talking." I turn and start in the direction of where Lexy's car should be. Hopefully it's still there. I pick up the pace and I still hear Ashley following. I don't look back but shout over my shoulder. "You better not be coming after me!"

"I'll always come after you."

Ugh I don't need her to be sweet right now.

I just shake my head and continue to jog.

I sigh a little, relieved when I see Lexy's car. Relief quickly leaves me as I notice her crying in the driver seat. I place my palm in front of my eyes as I try to squeeze the tears away. I don't have a right to cry right now.

I slowly approach the car and knock on the window.

She quickly snaps her head up and her gaze paralyzes me.

She turns on her car and I quickly step in front of it so she can't pull out.

"Lex please just let me explain."

Her words are muffled as she shouts from the inside of her car but I'm pretty sure she told me to get the fuck out of her way.

"Lex just get out of the car and let us explain." Ashley says in that voice that would make you want to do anything for her.

Okay maybe I should've told Ashley to go away because I'm pretty sure the two of us here right now, together... isn't helping. I thought I wanted Lexy to get out but I was wrong. Her car still running as she opens the door and she's out in a flash.

"Fuck you Davies! My best friend! Of all people?! Who the hell do you think you are? Don't ever talk to me again, I hate you..." She turns to me. "...and you!" She's shouting at me now. Oh you got that on your own did you? "Move." I'm a little sad that she only had one word for me.

"Lexy please I just…"

"We're in love Lexy, we didn't mean for any of this to happen."

"Ashley, shut up!" She looks at me and as much as I love her for trying to help…she's not.

Lexy laughs sardonically.

"Oh you're in love. Oh I'm sorry I thought you were just fucking because you were bored. No you falling in love with each other behind my back makes it so much better. Please forgive my erratic behavior. I didn't know it was love." She stays quiet for a minute. Not gonna lie. I'm kinda scared. Fire is in her eyes as she looks at me and then at her girlfriend…well ex girlfriend. "Fuck you! I don't give a shit that you two are in love, you both betrayed me. So since you two are in love you can do without me, because I sure as hell don't want to be around either of you. I'm done." She turns to get back in her car before stopping and letting out a shrill of a laugh. She turns back around to me. "And how fucking stupid am I?! I sat there and consoled you, I..." She shakes her head and laughs sardonically. "I thought you were in love with me?"

"Wait, what!" Ashley shouts beside me, looking back between me and Lexy. Ugh! She's so not helping.

"Ashley can it!" I turn and shout to her.

"I have to be the biggest fucking idiot on the gotdamn planet!" Lexy shakes her head and I open my mouth to tell her she's wrong, that she's not stupid but the look she gives me cuts me off.

She gets in her car and Ashley grabs me out of the street because I'm pretty sure Lexy would have hit me with her car.

She's that pissed.

I quickly accept the warmth of Ashley's arms but then quickly remove myself from them. I just shake my head as she says my name in a pleading tone.

"You need to go check on Stacy." I tell her and start to walk back towards the club to get a ride with my mom.

"Are we going to talk about this?"

"No." Is all I can say before I turn the corner and leave Ashley behind, this time she doesn't follow.

–

Song Used- Colbie Calliat- I Won't (Itunes session version)


	37. Mess I Made

Feedback for the previous chapter was amazing. Most of you hate the way Ashley handled the whole situation. I get that. Anyways, I hope you enjoy this chapter. As you probably know by now this story is winding down. Only a few more chapters.

So enjoy it while you can everyone :)

* * *

**Mess I Made**

"Lexy open the door!" I shout through Lexy's apartment door as I bang on it. I had my mom drive me here after we left the club. I just couldn't leave things like that with Lexy. She's my best friend and I don't want to lose her. I know you're thinking then I shouldn't have slept with her girlfriend, yeah yeah, trust me I know. "Lexy please just open the door! Just let me explain please!" I beg my friend.

"Get the hell away from my door before I call the cops on you Spencer!" She yells back to me and I take a moment to decide if she's serious or not. I decide there's no way she'd really do that, so I bang on her door again.

"I'm not going away Lex. I can stay out here all night." I tell her as I lean my head against her door. I know I don't deserve her forgiveness, or for her to ever even talk to me again but I'm hoping that she will.

Praying actually.

The abrupt opening of the door causes me to fall face first onto her foyer floor. I look up at her. She has her arms folded over her chest, and a less than pleasing look on her face.

"I swear Spencer, if you don't get the fuck away from my door I'm gonna-"

"I'm sorry Lex." I tell her as I pick myself up from the floor. "I don't know how to make you understand how sorry I am. Words can't even begin to-"

"You don't get to do that." She shakes her head.

"I-"

"Don't talk to me." She shoves me backwards, pushing me out of her apartment. I stumble a bit, caught off guard. She slams the door in my face and I sigh and fall back against it. I slide down to the floor as my phone rings in my pocket. I pull it out and see that it's Ashley.

"Ashley I don't want to talk to you right now!" I tell her as Lexy's door swings open again causing me to fall in. I look up at her, laying on my back, as she stands over me.

"That Davies?" She asks. I'm done lying to her. I nod my head yes. "UnFuckingBelievable. Tell her she can come get her shit at any time, it'll be on the street." She says and I see her grabbing for the door to close it. I quickly move out of the way so I won't get slammed in the door. I roll my eyes as I hear Ashley saying something on the other line.

"Ashley please just leave me alone right now okay." I ask in a defeated tone.

"Oh don't stop talking on my account!" I hear Lexy yell through the door. I groan and drop my head in my left hand.

"Ashley please." I beg.

"I need to see you right now Spence."

"Don't you get it! We hurt her. We went behind her back and we built this relationship that we shouldn't have. We hurt her so bad Ash and right now I just need you to understand that I have to try to fix this and in order for me to do that I need you to not be around. Just don't call me so I can-"

"No!" She cuts me off. "I can't just leave you alone Spencer. I told you. I wish I could change the fact that Lexy got hurt in all this, but I don't regret falling in love with you Spencer."

"Ugh! I can't do this right now Ashley." I tell her and hang up before she could reply. I really hope she doesn't come here after me, that definitely would not bode well with Lexy. My phone rings again pick it up without looking at the caller I.D, thinking it's Ashley again. "Seriously Ashley will you just-"

"It's your mom Spencer." My mom's worried voice calms me down.

"Oh." I say softly with a sigh.

"How are things going?" I groan and bang my head lightly against Lexy's door.

"They're not. She won't even talk to me."

"Well Spencer you can't really expect that-"

"I know." I cut my mom off. "I don't expect her to just forgive me. I just... I want her to at least talk to me."

"Well you're gonna have to give her some time Spence honey, I told you when you first started dealing with Ashley about this possibility. I asked you if you were ready to possibly lose Lexy as a friend, you didn't really think it through though, did you?" My mom asks, and I know she's not judging me or anything right now but I can't help but feel like she is.

I sigh and close my eyes. Tonight is officially the worst night of my life. "Mom I'm gonna stay here tonight." I say once I open my eyes.

"Is she letting you in?" I glance out into the dark parking lot. I'm sure my mom is watching me sit my ass on Lexy's front porch right now so she already know's that she hasn't let me in.

"No. I'm just gonna sit out here. She has to come out some time."

"I'm not sure if I'm comfortable with that Spencer-"

"Mom I'll be fine, don't worry about it." I assure my mom.

She sighs that motherly sigh. I know that she's not okay with me spending the night outside but she gets what I'm trying to do. "Okay, but call me if you need me to come pick you up Spencer. I don't care what time I'll come."

"Kay mom. Thanks."

"I love you."

"Love you too mom." I tell her as we hang up. I glance down at my phone, the time reading after midnight. I sigh and throw my head back against the door. This is gonna be a long night.

I keep looking at the time, thinking that I can control it by making it move faster. It's not working just in case you were wondering.

I've been out here for twenty minutes and it's torture. I know I am not allowed to complain, I have very little to no room to be selfish about anything, but I just want to talk to her to straighten things out.

She could give me that little right?

No?

Well fuck you too.

I sigh as I slide my legs straight out. They're starting to cramp. I lightly bang my head against her door because I'm not going to shout anymore, just because Lexy isn't going to call the cops on me, doesn't mean another person won't for my disturbing of the peace. That'd just add to my wonderful summer vacation.

Fuck you summer.

Right…not allowed to complain.

The only thing filling the silence is the thudding of my head against Lexy's door. I really want to use the key she gave me but I don't think that would be a good idea, I already invaded something that belonged to her.

I sigh as the thoughts of the summer invade my mind. There were so many ways to go about this; I could've told Lexy that Ashley was the one form New York the minute she introduced us, I could've kept to myself when she tried to meet me in secret, I could've done so much….but I didn't want to.

I felt like I was watching myself do these things, knowing that in the end the only person that could possibly get hurt from it was Lexy. I kept saying I'd rather it be me... but I don't think I ever had any intentions on stopping this... denying this love that Ashley and I have for each other. It felt criminal to try to do so.

I'll take this time to reflect on how selfish I was…am. I know my self-condemnation isn't really doing anything to better the situation, but all I've got is this right here. Sitting and thinking how shitty of a person I am. So unless you've got something better…shut up.

Forty minutes.

Maybe if I keep banging my head against the door I'll give myself a concussion, pass out and time will move a little faster.

I fall back again and my heart leaps out of my chest as I fall through the doorway.

I turn my head to the side. Oh hey heart what are you doing over there?

I turn my head upwards to look at Lexy.

"Can you stop that shit you're pissing me off."

Now I'm pissing her off?

Right not the time.

"Lex please…" I say as I sit up and push myself onto my knees. I'm literally on my knees. Begging on my knees, it's come to this. I don't care though, anything to get her to talk to me.

I notice as her eyes scan over my body taking in my pathetic appearance. I think pity flashes in her eyes for a brief second but it quickly replaced though I'm sure she's remembering why I'm like this.

"What the fuck can you possibly have to say right now?"

I open my mouth then quickly close it.

Shit!

Words!

Need them!

"Uh…"

Those are not words Spencer!

Lexy apparently notices I ain't got shit to say and closes the door. I launch myself back landing not so softly on my ass. Hurts so much…again much deserved. I grit my teeth as I feel the years I had with Lexy slip away from me. I turn back around and use her door for support. This isn't how this was supposed to happen.

I don't know how this was supposed to happen…I just didn't expect to be sitting in front of her door for the past…hour.

My mom said to prepare myself but really who listens to their mothers when they give relationship advice…screw you if said you do because you know you're lying!

I lean my head back against the door deciding to stop pounding my head because one it's starting to hurt and two I'm pretty sure that pissing Lexy off more and three it's not going to fix anything. I close my eyes and release a heavy breath. What the hell have I done?

I fall backwards again, grabbing my head as it lands on the floor with a loud thud.

"Shit Spence I'm…"

Lexy stops her apology and I see her jaw lock.

I fell asleep.

I'm surprised I didn't get mugged out here.

Goodness that was reckless.

"Morning." I greet her groggily. My voice is so hoarse, most likely from all the yelling that I did last night.

I stand up and rub the back of my head. If I wasn't concussed before I probably am now.

Lexy doesn't say anything and I don't know why I expect her to.

She just ignores my complete existence and locks her door and walks towards her car.

"Have a great day at work!" I shout at her and close my eyes at myself. Being a smart ass is not really ideal in my situation.

I grab my seat back on the ground and wait for her to come back.

This is drastic but drastic times and all that.

It's not like if I left and came back she'd know the difference, but I would and really this is all I can think of to do right now because sorry won't ever be enough. Words won't ever fix anything and maybe my actions of camping outside her apartment like a hobo won't get her to talk to me either, but maybe if she sees I'm trying something, sees that I really want to make up for what I did to her...she'll give me a chance.

I smack my lips together, my mouth is so dry. I would really like some water. I probably shouldn't drink anything though because I'm not sure how long I'll be out here. I squeeze the bridge of my nose with my fingers, I feel a headache coming as I continue to sit.

It's now been…nine hours that I've been out here, I notice as I look at my phone with less than half it's battery life left. Like last night, I quickly grow bored and I begin to people watch to pass the time. If you want the scoop I am fully informed of the goings on in Lexy's complex community. So the dude across the street apparently is like Matilda's dad with his old car parts, I saw him shovel some scandalous equipment from his garage to his trunk last night before I fell asleep. He didn't do too good of a job at being inconspicuous.

Then there's the little old lady across the street who is a better people watcher than I am. She's been watching me all night with binoculars. I squint my eyes as notice her slip the lenses through the blinds of her window. I don't know what comes over me but I yell.

"I see you!"

She slips out from her blinds and seconds later I see them slip open again. I shake my head. I close my eyes again because really what else can I do but sleep.

Try anyway.

Nine hours and thirty five minutes. Sigh.

I jump awake as I feel someone gently grab my arm.

"What the hell?!" I put my hands up in some karate type fashion, I'm channeling all my Ninja Turtles, Power Rangers, and Dragonball Z episodes as if I can actually whoop whomevers' ass is trying to attack me. I sigh and grab my quick beating heart. "Joey."

"Spence I'm sorry didn't mean to rattle you." I smile at his choice of words only this kid can say stuff like this and not have me look at him like an idiot.

"Yeah well I should be used to it." I straighten up and feel my back crack. It hurt and feels good all at the same time. Joey grabs a seat next to me and I see a plastic bag in his hand.

"I come bearing gifts."

I hear my stomach growl, apparently it smells food. I check the time and see I've been out here for twelve hours. I really hate the fact that I haven't brushed my teeth.

What! I like having a clean mouth, there's nothing wrong with that.

"Thanks." I mumble out and grab the food that's offered to me.

"I wasn't sure what you liked so I got you my usual. I woulda called but I mean you've kinda stopped answering your phone." I just nod as I devour my burger from In and Out and moan in delight. So delicious. If my mouth wasn't so hungry I'd kiss Joey for bringing me food. I nom on some fries and he looks at me with a smile. "Crazy shit last night huh?"

I groan in acknowledgment. As my stomach fills so does my brain because I think to ask. "How'd you know where I was?"

"Ash. She called me up and told me to check on you and bring you something to eat."

Ugh that girl. I really need her to stop doing things that make me love her more, this is what's got us here... well me here, you know sitting against my best friend's door.

I can't help but smile softly at the thought of Ashley still wanting to take care of me even after I yelled at her. Which I feel awful about, I'm just a giant ball of awfulness and guilt.

I just don't know how to handle this situation…and for people who want to say just stay away from your best friend's girlfriend. Fuck off because have you not seen what's been happening. We couldn't help it. We tried and that's what I want to talk to Lexy about. It's not like we intentionally wanted to hurt her. I wouldn't want to listen to me either 'cause that's a lame ass explanation. There's not good explanation when it comes to betrayal but here I am trying to figure one out.

"She wanted to bring it herself but she thought it best to give you space." Joey speaks up when I stay silent.

I don't really have much to say. That much is evident. I really should start thinking of something to tell Lexy if she ever does decide to hear me out. Probably should do that instead of bang my head against the door or people watch.

"How is she?" I finally ask and Joey gives me a smile.

"She coasting by ya know? She's seen better days but she's missing you, sad she hurt Lexy, bummed you're upset." I understood half of that…he really is a California kid. "Do you want me give her a message or anything?"

Joey collects my trash and don't even realize how quickly I finished my food. I want to cry a little because I miss it already. I should've savored it a bit more.

I try to think of something to tell her. I don't know what to say but that seems to be the running theme of this shitty situation. I just shake my head as I look down. He just nods and pats my leg.

"It'll be okay Spencer. Just hang in there."

I mumble out something out and I'm not sure if I even understood what I said. I watch as he leaves and I see the old lady snooping again I just point at her and she disappears. Nosey.

Nineteen hours and my mother calls me again. I probably should answer her before my phone dies.

"Mother?" I start dryly.

"Spencer this is enough you need to come home."

"Mom I can't. I need to talk to Lexy we have to straighten things out."

I'm starting to sound like a broken record.

"Spencer I understand you're upset but let's be rational here."

"I am being rational. I have to show her I'm not going anywhere no matter how much she tries to push me away."

"Honey you have to give her time, she's upset and you forcing yourself on her isn't going to help things."

"Neither will space mom!"

"Spencer—"

That's all I get before it cuts off and my phone dies. Awesome now I won't be able to keep track of the time.

–

Twenty one hours.

I'm just guessing here...

"You're seriously still here?"

I look up at Lexy as she looks down at me annoyed. I stand up, my legs feel like jell-o. I probably should've jogged in place or something. I hold onto the wall for support and watch as Lexy effortlessly takes out her house key and goes to open the door.

"Lex…please." I beg in a tired whisper. "Please."

Her face is sideways to me as she keeps her head forward. I notice as her jaw clenches as she restrains herself from giving in. She slowly turns her head to look at me and now I'm scared.

"Spencer…there is nothing you can say to me right now that I want to hear. Nothing you say is going to fix shit so just go home!"

I look down then back her. "I know that this is so beyond messed up Lex, but if you just give me a minute I swear I can explain." I try. She sighs and turns to face me. Oh my God, is she gonna hear me out right now? She looks at me without saying a word and I take this as my cue to speak. I open my mouth but once again words just won't form. You have got to be fucking kidding me Spencer!

You've been sitting on her front step for twenty one hours and your ass can't think of a single word to say when you finally get the chance?

You don't deserve for her to listen!

Lexy let's out a laugh of disbelief as she shakes her head. "Can I have the key I gave you please." She holds her hand out expectantly. I dig around in my pocket for her key, detaching it from my key ring before handing it to her. She snatches it from my hand before going inside and slamming the door behind her. I sigh as I put my back against the wall and slowly slide down. I shimmy over to the door and start to lightly bang my head against the door again. The old lady is watching me and I have no energy to send her any mean hand gestures.

Hour I don't fucking know.

I start to get hungry again, I mean I passed hungry hours ago right now I'm freaking starving. I know it's late though because Matilda's dad is shoveling parts into his trunk again. How has he not been found out already? He is so not good at hiding this.

"Spencer!"

I snap my head in the direction of the deep voice.

"Dad? What are you doing here?"

"It's time for you to come home sweetheart."

I shake my head and he kneels down in front of me. I start to tear up and the tears waste no time falling. I guess I'm more tired than I thought.

"I can't dad. She's so mad at me. I'm not doing enough."

He doesn't argue with me but comes up beside me, slipping his arm under my knees and the other behind my back as he effortlessly picks me up of the ground and walks me away from Lexy's door. I wrap my arms around his neck and bury my head in his shoulder as the tears continue to fall.

"If it's worth anything…your mom is the best choice I've ever made and I would do it all over again if I had to."

My dads words comfort me a little as he places me in the car and drives me home.

–

I showered, brushed my teeth and ate some food and now I'm right back at Lexy's. I stopped at the store first and got her some flowers. Yeah, cliché I know but right now I got nothing else. I'm gonna try everything I can to get her to talk to me.

She should be leaving for work in about five minutes and I want to catch her before she goes. I plop down on her front step and I can see the lady across the street already being miss nosy pants again.

I give her a wave and a smile and she quickly disappears from the blinds. She'll be back in a second.

The opening of Lexy's door behind me startles me, but I jump up quickly and turn to face her... flowers in hand. She glances down at the flowers then back up at me. She laughs and shakes her head as she turns back around to lock her door then brushes past me, taking the flowers from my hand.

She took them... that's a good sign right?

I turn and watch as my friend makes her way to her car, but not before stopping and throwing the flowers in the garbage bin at the top of the sidewalk.

Nice.

She gets in her car and drives away with out so much as a second glance back to me.

I sigh and rub my forehead. What the hell was I thinking?

–

"No strawberries, right, yeah she's allergic to those. Just pineapples and mango, and apples. Oh you have grapes too right? Yeah okay. And this is all the fruit covered in chocolate or just... oh okay, yeah that works. Okay, thanks. How long will it be? Okay, I'll pick it up in few hours. Thanks." I hang up the phone with the edible arrangements receptionist.

"How's it going honey?" My dad peeks his head in my room and asks.

"I don't know." I shrug and flop down on my bed. I came home after leaving Lexy's earlier but only to eat and figure out what to do next. My dad was nice enough to let me borrow his car for the day.

My dad comes and takes a seat next to me on the bed. "Spence honey." He starts. I sigh and lay my head down on his shoulder. He pats my face gently before continuing. "This isn't going to be an easy fix you know. She may never get over it." I lift my head to look at him. "And I'm not saying that to discourage you or anything, I'm just trying to prepare you for what may happen. You understand right?" He asks, I nod and lay my head back down on his shoulder. "I'm not proud of the fact that someone had to get hurt in order for me to find your mother. But..." He pauses as a smile creeps on his lips. "Your mother is best thing to ever happen to me Spencer. Without her, I wouldn't have you," He looks down to me and smiles. "And Glen... and Clay even. So I'm not proud that I cheated but I am completely happy to be where I am today." He gives me a soft smile before patting me on my knee and standing up. "Lexy may calm down eventually and talk to you, but I think until then... you should give her some space let her process things a bit you know." I groan and nod. He's right. Just like my mom said, I'm not giving Lexy a chance to be angry. I'm forcing myself on her and it's not right. But I need to try. I need her to know... no to see that I'm trying.

"Thanks dad." I tell him. He nods and leaves my room. I throw myself backwards onto my bed as my phone rings in my hand. I already know who it is without having to look at the screen. "Yes Ashley." I answer the phone. I'm not annoyed at the fact that she keeps calling me I'm just... I don't know... I feel like she should be making more of an effort to fix things with Lexy too. I guess a relationship is easier to get over than a friendship.

"I don't think I ever really loved her." She says and it catches me off guard. Wait what?

"What?" I ask sitting up on my bed.

"I think I was in love with the idea of being in love. Lexy was the first girl that ever called me out on my shit Spence, she told me what I needed to hear when I needed to hear it, she supported me when things weren't okay, she encouraged me when I needed encouragement, she was fun and happy and easy and I think that I was in love with all those things... all those things about her I loved, but never her... I don't think-"

"Stop Ashley." I cut her off. "Just stop it!" She can't fix this by claiming she never loved Lexy because I know she did. Before me everything was fine. I'm a life ruiner, a home wrecker, a cheater, a liar. I could go on and on and none of those things are me! That's not who I am! At least before Ashley it wasn't. So I'm mad. I'm mad at her and I'm mad at myself for allowing her to change me into the type of person that would put their own feelings before their best friends. "Don't do that. Don't belittle your relationship with her to make me feel better."

"That's not what I'm doing Spencer. I'm telling you what I know to be the truth. What I've just realized anyway. I've been thinking about it all night and day today. I-"

"Ashley I gotta go." I cut her off. I can't stand to hear another minute of this.

"Spencer please. Just let me come see you, let's talk about-"

Yeah... I hung up the phone. I know that if I talk to her for any longer I'll give in. Right now my happiness is not important. All that matters right now... is talking to Lexy. I bury myself in my covers, waiting until Edible Arrangements calls me back to let me know my order for Lex is ready.

"Spence." My mom shakes me awake. Shit! I fell asleep. I grab my phone and see I have five missed calls from Edible Arrangements. I listen to my voice mail.

'Hello Ms. Carlin this is Edible Arrangements letting you know your order is ready to be picked up. Our store closes at six so please be here before then.' I hang up my phone and look at the time. Ugh! It's 5:45pm. There's no way I can make that. I jump up from bed and throw on my shoes.

"Gotta go mom, I'll be back later." I tell her as I run out the door.

"No spending the night outside Spencer!" She yells to my retreating figure.

"Promise!" I yell back.

–

"No no no no no!" I shout as I make it to the store. They're closed and don't open back up until ten tomorrow. I can't wait until ten tomorrow. I bang on the glass door, I know someone is in the back. A white-haired woman peeks her head out of the back room, saying something that I can't hear. Probably that they're closed but I keep banging anyways. She shakes her head and visibly sighs before coming and opening the door.

"I'm sorry but we're closed." She tells me and goes to close the door again.

"Wait no please." I stop her, putting a hand up to keep the door from closing.

"I'm sorry hon but we're-"

"I know." I cut her off with a nod. "I understand that you're closed and under any other circumstance I wouldn't ask you for any favors or special treatment because you don't know me and you have no reason to." I shake my head, shrugging. "I messed up really bad. I did something horrible and I'm tryna fix it. Nothing is working so I'm hoping that doing something sweet and spontaneous like giving her a basket full of fruit will at least get her to look at to me." I unload on the poor old woman. The woman face softens as she opens the door a little wider to let me in.

"Name sweetie?" She asks, walking back towards the back room.

"Spencer Carlin." I tell her, forcing myself to give her a small smile. I know she didn't have to do this. She goes in the back and comes out with my fruit basket. I went with the classic, I'm sorry basket; filled with all her favorites.

"52.47." The lady says. I hand her three twenties.

"Keep the change." I take the basket and give her another smile. "Thank you so much." I turn to leave but her voice stops me.

"If you did something as bad as you say sweetie." She pauses as my eyes meet hers. She gives me a smile and a head nod. "I think you can do better than a basket of fruit, don't you?" I don't say anything. I purse my lips and turn to leave.

I surely can do better than a basket of fruit.

–

Lexy should be getting home from work soon. I've been sitting outside her place for about thirty or so minutes. She's a little later than normal but that's cool. I'll wait as long as it takes.

The slamming of a car door causes me to look up and I see Lexy walking this way. She rolls her eyes and groans when she sees me.

"Spencer I'm really tired and don't have the strength for this right now. Just go away please." She asks in a low tone. I can tell that she really isn't in the mood right now. I'll just give her this basket and go.

"I just wanted to give you this." I stand, handing her the fruit basket. She looks down at the basket and back at me. I'm half expecting her to throw it away like she did my flowers earlier. But she doesn't she takes it and unlocks the door to her apartment. That's it? No yelling or fruit throwing or anything? I think I was expecting to get a pineapple up side the head or something. "Lex." I say softly just as she steps over the threshold. She freezes, hand on the handle, before sighing and going completely inside her place. I drop my head and turn to walk away.

"Did you sleep with her?" I hear behind me as I'm descending the stairs. I stop in my tracks and turn back to face her. Do I lie?

No!

No more lying Spencer!

"Lex it-"

"Did you sleep with her?!" She asks a bit more firmly this time. I have to man up right now and just tell her the truth. I'm sure she already knows the answer, I guess she just needs to hear it from my mouth.

"Yes." I nod. "But it was only one time and I swear Lex that I-"

"Save it!" She cuts me off, shaking her head. "Just save it." She slams her door and I drop my head. Before we slept together this was probably fixable, I probably could have gotten her to forgive me. But now... now I know there's no chance. It's not like a deserve her forgiveness anyways. The door opens quickly as I'm turning to walk away. "And take this shit." She tosses the fruit basket at my feet. "I don't want your guilt fruit! Just leave me the hell alone Spencer!" She yells before slamming the door once more. I bend down to clean up the fruit, trying to show Lexy that I'm trying to clean up the mess I've made. Well she threw the fruit, but you get what I'm saying. When I'm done I throw away the sixty dollars in fruit and head to the car.

Lexy is never going to forgive me...

–

Chapter title- Parachute- Mess I Made


	38. Deuces

****I'm really sorry about te delay. I'm on vacation and trying to finish up the last couple weeks of school.

Either way, Enjoy!

* * *

**Deuces**

I look around the club and I can't help but beam at the crowd that has come to support my girl and her band. She's so talented and I'm so lucky to have her. She treats me amazing and I honestly believe her to be the one for me.

I see myself being with Ashley for the rest of my life. She's my one and I believe I'm hers, she's subtle in the ways she expresses it though. Have you heard all the songs she been writing lately?

I've been away so much with work and I think my absence has triggered her inspiration. She hasn't written this many songs since I've known her.

I'm so glad she and Spencer have gotten along so well. I was a bit nervous about their meeting. Your best friend and your girlfriend the two most important people in your life, if they don't get along it would suck. I'm glad I don't have that problem.

I watch as the band walks onto the stage and Ashley nods her head cuing Mikey to start the beat of the first song of the night. She's got such a great group, I never really feel like I belong with them though. They're nice enough but sometimes I feel like they're only nice to me because of Ashley.

How can I tell?

Well sometimes you just get a feeling with people and I get a feeling with them, but it's fine. Ashley loves me and I've got Spencer and honestly I'm all set with just the two of them.

My heart swoons as my girl sings the final chorus of 'I'd Rather Be With You'. This is my favorite of hers. A smile tugs at my lips as I listen to the lyrics. Ashley introduces a new song that she just wrote the other day and I'm really excited to hear it. She's so talented.

She looks a little nervous but she doesn't need to be; she's amazing. I smile widely as I try to lock eyes with her to reassure her. She strums her guitar and looks up, I'm expecting her to look at me but I notice that her gaze is past me.

"_I won't do what you told me. I won't do what you said, no. I'm not gonna stop feeling. I'm not gonna forget it. I don't wanna start over. I don't wanna pretend that. You are not my lover. That you're only my __friend."_

As I listen to the lyrics, trying to make sense of what they could possibly mean... I hear Glen make a smart remark and snicker. What's so funny? I look at Spencer to see what Glen could be laughing at and she's looking at him like she's about ready to kill him. I look back over at Ashley and her eyes are still locked on Spencer.

Spencer's trying not to look at me. I swallow nervously as Ashley continues with the song.

"_Cause when you took my heart. You took it all. When you gave it back. It fell apart. So..."_

No…She's not…She wouldn't.

I look at Spencer and I look into her eyes. They look…guilty.

"_Maybe you're not right for me. Maybe it's just hard to see. I get lost in your beauty. And I just start questioning. Cause when you took my heart you took it all. But when you gave it back it fell apart."_

My heart races as I take another look at Ashley. I see Stacy at the piano and she seems to be sporting the same look I feel growing on my face. She looks at Spencer, everyone seems to be looking at Spencer. She's looking at Spencer some type of way. I look at Stacy as she watches Ashley and I watch Ashley as she watches…Spencer. This isn't happening.

No!

Spencer wouldn't. She's my best friend…practically my sister. She'd never…

Of course not. I laugh internally because it won't come out of my mouth. I'm sure this is all just a misunderstanding.

"Did you know she was gonna do this?" I hear Paula ask Spencer. I turn to look at them but they're too engaged with each other to notice that I witness the exchange.

No…no.

No, no, no!

I'm just going to ask.

She'll say no and we'll move on from this.

"Is she singing to you?" I ask, confusion and sadness lace my voice…apparently my emotions are recognizing the situation a lot faster than my brain is allowing me register.

What the _fuck_ is going on?!

I look at Ashley but she hasn't looked at me once. I see something in her eyes when she looks at Spencer…something I've never seen when she looks at me. I don't know why I never noticed this before.

My eyes start to sting and my heart is racing as I come to a conclusion that everyone seems to be aware of. Everyone but me…and Stacy.

Is that why Spencer broke up with her? Because she's sleeping with _my_ girlfriend.

I look at my best friend…if I should still call her that and she's trying to read me. Good luck Spence cause right now I don't know how to express myself for even me to understand.

"_I won't do what you told me. I won't do what you said, no. I'm not gonna stop feeling. I'm not gonna forget it. I don't wanna start over. I don't wanna pretend that. You are not my lover. That you're only my friend. Friend. I won't..."_

Ashley's voice is the only thing filling the room right now. She's not singing to me. She never was. I internally scoff... I was never her inspiration.

I take a deep breath and close my eyes. Just once more. She didn't answer the first time maybe she is just as confused as I am.

"Spence?" I ask. It comes out so weak and she doesn't say anything.

She's looking like she's panicking.

I grit my teeth because for the first time in my life I feel hatred building up in me. It's making me tremble slightly and I want to cry but I'm so angry.

"_I won't do what you told me. I won't do what you said, no. I'm not gonna stop feeling. I'm not gonna forget it. I don't wanna__ start over. I don't wanna pretend that. You are not my lover. That you're only my friend. Friend. I won't...No, I won't..."_

Ashley stops singing and the room erupts in applause. I don't I'm too busy staring at Spencer. The tension obviously has risen and it's only at my table.

Humiliation.

Betrayal.

I can't breathe.

Deceit.

Lies.

I can't move.

My head falls and I feel my eyes burn as I try to fight back tears.

"Lexy…" I forget about crying, the fire in my eyes burn all the tears away. "Lexy wait, let me expla—"

"Go to hell Spencer." I spit out angrily. I stand up and storm away, I don't bother to look at Ashley. I already feel so much hate in my body I don't think I can take anymore. I hear Ashley call for Spencer and that just pisses me off more.

Spencer grabs my arm and I quickly flinch away. "Don't touch me!"I don't recognize my own voice. Spencer doesn't either, I've never spoken to her this way. Then again she's never given me reason to.

"Lexy I'm sorry." I try not to laugh because her apology is bullshit. "I never meant for this to happen. I didn't plan it or anything I swear."

"This whole time it was you. This whole _fucking _time."

I can't believe this.

What the hell is wrong with me? How did I not see this? She's my best friend how could she?

She betrayed me in the worst way possible. I throw the doors open and pass a couple, I don't know who they are but the fact that they know Spencer makes me slow down. She says their name and my heart drops. She met her fucking parents?! I've been with Ashley for almost a year and she barely utters one word about them to me and Spencer met them after a fucking month?!

"You have got to be fucking kidding me! How could I have been so stupid?!" I shout and storm away. The fact that Ashley's mother asks who I am is a punch to the face.

I think I'm going to be sick. I need to get the hell out of here. I don't hear Spencer following me anymore, probably fucking setting up wedding plans with in laws. What the fuck?! I'm so angry and hearing Spencer call out for me isn't doing anything for me. She used to be able to calm me down now all I feel is rage every time she opens her mouth. She's asking me to give her a chance to explain. There's nothing to explain.

"You can what?" I finally stop walking and turn to face her. What could she possibly say right now that would make what she did okay?

"I can-"  
"Explain to me how for the past month and a half you've been fucking my girlfriend when you're supposed to be my best friend?" I ask seriously. Cause if she can explain that then I'd like to hear it.

"It isn't like that Lex. I swear." Oh spare me the bullshit! "When I met Ashley I didn't know that she was your girlfriend." Are you kidding me right now? Seriously? Seriously?!

I finally piece it together. Ashley's the girl in New York, the girl she flirted with on the plane. I scoff as I remember that I encouraged her in seizing the moment. Looks like she took my advice. And fucking Ashley... I guess out of sight out of mind.

I snap my head as I hear Ashley shout for Spencer. Awesome.

I shake my head storm away again. I'm a grown ass woman stomping my feet like a damn three year old but walking normal right now isn't doing it for me. My feet hit the pavement hard with every step I take. I'm so close to my car and I know I probably shouldn't be driving in this state because all I see is red. I leave them both behind, not like they'll notice I'm gone they sure as hell didn't before.

As I get in my car the tears that I was fighting before begin to fall. I don't wanna cry. They don't deserve my tears. A knock on the window pulls me back to reality. I look and see it's Spencer. She's fighting back tears and under any other circumstance I think I'd be the one comforting her. She begs me to let her explain. Haven't we done this already?

"Get the fuck out of my fucking way Spencer!" I shout to her, but she looks confused like she can't understand what I'm saying right now. It should be perfectly clear what I want from her. When Ashley asks me to get out of the car something in me snaps. I can't believe she would fucking do this to me. I jump out of the car, "Fuck you Davies! My best friend! Of all people?! Who the hell do you think you are? Don't ever talk to me again, I hate you..." I scoff and turn to Spencer. "...and you!" I shout, pointing a finger at her. "Move." She looks hurt, like she was expecting more. She wants me to yell at her?

"Lexy please I just…"

"We're in love Lexy, we didn't mean for any of this to happen." Ashley cuts her off and it takes everything in my power not to run over and punch her in the face. She shouldn't talk to me right now. My judgment is clouded right now and I think it's safe to say I may do something irrational.

"Ashley, shut up!" Spencer turns and shouts to her. I can't help but laugh at the pair.

How the fuck did I not see this before?

"Oh you're in love. Oh I'm sorry I thought you were just fucking because you were bored. No you falling in love with each other behind my back makes it so much better. Please forgive my erratic behavior. I didn't know it was love." I grow quiet, choosing my next words carefully. I want them to know exactly what I'm feeling right now. "Fuck you! I don't give a shit that you two are in love, you both betrayed me. So since you two are in love you can do without me, because I sure as hell don't want to be around either of you. I'm done." I turn to walk back to the car when I remember the conversation Spencer and I had earlier tonight. How fucking dumb could I be? "And how fucking stupid am I?! I sat there and consoled you, I..." She shakes her head and laughs sardonically. "I thought you were in love with me?!" Ashley screams out a 'what' and Spencer tells her to shut up. Wow. I shake my head and turn back to the car. I turn back to them once more. "I have to be the biggest fucking idiot on the goddamn planet!" I shout before getting in my car. I can't be here anymore. I can't look at the two of them without wanting to hit them. I speed off and see Ashley snatch Spencer out of the way. I guess she thought I would actually hit her. Aw fucking cute, she's saving her life!

Fuck them!

–

I'm not sure how I even got here. I'm sitting in my car in front of my apartment and the drive here is as blurry as ever. The last thing I remember is pulling away from the club.

I bang my head on the steering wheel, trying to knock some sense into myself. I keep asking myself over and over how I could have been so fucking stupid. All of this was happening right under my nose and I had no idea.

Not one clue.

I've always been so trusting and loving and I guess I never expected anything like this from Spencer. We've always said how much we despised cheaters. I guess a year in New York changed her.

I try to compose myself before getting out of the car and walking into my apartment. The apartment I share...shared with Ashley. The girl I thought I would spend the rest of my life with.

I think what hurts the most is that I'm not only losing a girlfriend but my best friend too. I don't know how we can come back from this. It's the ultimate betrayal. They let their temptations get the best of them instead of just talking to me first. I'm not sure how I would have taken it then either but it has to be better than finding out this way. Getting humiliated in front of everyone. Even Mrs. Williams seemed privy to what was going on.

Was I the only one?

A bang on my door startles me. I've been standing in the foyer trying to figure everything out. How I could have not seen any of this? How long it's been going on? Just everything.

I turn and look out the peephole. It's Spencer.

"Lexy open the door!" She shouts as she bangs on it. Really? What the fuck could she possibly want? "Lexy please just open the door! Just let me explain please!" She begs.

"Get the hell away from my door before I call the cops on you Spencer!" I yell back. I won't really, but the threat should be good enough.

"I'm not going away Lex. I can stay out here all night." She yells back. Ugh! I just want her to go away.

I groan as she bangs on my door again. Just go away! She grows quiet. I contemplate for a minute then decide to check and see if she's gone. I open the door and she falls in. I fold my arms over my chest and give her the meanest look I can muster. She really looks pathetic right now.

"I swear Spencer, if you don't get the fuck away from my door I'm gonna-"

"I'm sorry Lex." She tells me as she picks herself up from the floor. "I don't know how to make you understand how sorry I am. Words can't even begin to-"

"You don't get to do that." I shake my head.

"I-"

"Don't talk to me." I tell her and shove her out of my apartment. I can't listen to another word...another lie. I turn to walk away, knowing if I stayed any longer I may give in, when I hear her phone ring. She answers it and the name she utters refuels the rage that had fizzled out. I whip open the door causing her to fall backwards onto the floor.

"That Davies?" I ask her, she looks like she wants to tell me a lie. She better not! I already know that it is. She finally nods her head yes and I scoff.

"UnFuckingBelievable. Tell her she can come get her shit at any time, it'll be on the street." I tell her and slam the door quickly, causing her to have to dive out of the way.

Fuck!

I sigh, looking at the door once more. I really can't believe this is happening.

–

I've been in bed for the past half hour trying to sleep so this stupid day can just be over with, but the constant banging on my door is keeping me up. I climb out of bed and go downstairs. I open the door and Spencer fall in again. Ugh! I wish she would just go away and give me some space.

"Can you stop doing that you're pissing me off!" I tell my ex-best friend.

"Lex please." She begs, sitting up on her knees. Oh great! Now she's begging on her knees. I can't take this.

"What the fuck could you possibly have to say right now?" I ask, and the opening and closing of her mouth tells me that she's got nothing.

"Uh..." She says. See! Nothing! I roll my eyes and shut the door. I have to be up for work in a few hours and I really don't have time for this. I walk back up to my room and after an hour I'm finally able to fall asleep.

–

I open the door to leave for work and Spencer falls in again.

"Shit I'm sorry..." I stop myself realizing the reason she's sitting outside my apartment in the first place. I quickly become angry again. She greets me good morning and I decide to ignore her complete existence, locking my door and stepping around her to head towards my car.

"Have a great day at work!" She shouts to my retreating figure. I fight a smile, shaking my head. Leave it to Spencer to be a smart ass in this situation.

The drive to work was hard. I can't help but keep replaying last night in my head. The look Ashley was giving her, Spencer's face when she realized that I was piecing it all together. I wonder how many people knew about this... was I the only one that was in the dark?

"You're late Alexis." The dragon lady greets me as I enter the office.

"I know I'm sorry." I tell her, handing her her morning coffee.

"Sorry doesn't get this portfolio complete on time." She says without even looking up at me. Ever since that night in Vegas... she's been extra bitchy towards me. What night you ask? Well I'll tell you later, right now I have to get the hell out of this office.

"I know." I nod, picking up the pile of papers on her desk as she types away on her computer. "I swear I'll have this complete by this afternoon. I tell her softly, I can't really deal with any more of her crap right now. I think I'm liable to cry at any moment. Usually I can take all the bullshit she throws at me but today... I just can't.

"Alexis..." She stops me as I turn to walk out of her office. The softness of her voice catches me off guard. I don't think in the year I've been working here she's ever been nice to me. I only stay because the pay is amazing and I have a real chance at becoming something under Meredith. As much of a bitch she is... she's the best Marketing Exec in California. Anybody who's anybody calls her for marketing advice.

Being a lackey isn't exactly how I planned to spend my first year here but if that's what I have to do to come up then I don't mind doing it. I turn around to face her, readjusting the stack of papers in my arms.

"Yes Ms. Lewis?" I elect to use her real name and not dragon lady... wouldn't bode well you know.

"Is everything okay?" She questions, looking me dead in my eyes. Is this concern I'm seeing from her? Genuine concern?

"I..." I trail off. I can't go there with her. I don't want to seem weak and have her use it against me later. "No." I shake my head. "I'm fine." I force a smile and turn to leave again.

"Alexis." She calls me again, stopping me. The tone of her voice is vulnerable. I've heard it once before. That night in Vegas. I guess now is a good time to tell you about what happened. Okay so on our recent business trip to Vegas to pick up some client papers as well as attend a few meetings, she kinda made a pass at me. We were in the hotel and she just called me into her room, I'm thinking we're gonna go over some business papers or something but no... she tries to kiss me. I was apprehensive to decline because I didn't want my job to be in jeopardy but I'm not a cheater. I would never cheat on Ashley... on anyone. It's not in my DNA.

Little did I know I was being cheated on the whole time.

Anyways, I explained this to her. That I can't cheat, that I won't cheat. She told me she understood and things went right back to how they were.

Her being a dragon...lady.

"Yes?" I turn around to look at her once more.

"Is it you and Ashley?" She questions, staring at me as she awaits an answer.

I really just want to get away from all this. I don't want to think about it or talk about it anymore.

"Yes." I nod. Maybe if I tell her she'll drop it.

"Have a seat." She motions for me to sit down in the chair across from her. I internally sigh as I sit down. "What happened? Is she okay? Did you two have a fight?"

It's weird seeing Meredith like this. All caring and concerned.

"Oh she's fine I'm sure." I laugh once as I sit the stack of papers on the desk. "Just dandy." I add for good measure.

"I don't understand." She shakes her head as she waits for me to continue.

"Last night," I start, clearing my throat as I sit upright in my seat. I really don't want to cross my personal life into my work life but I can see this conversation won't be over until she is satisfied. "I found out that she was cheating on me with my best friend." I finally get out and the look on her face is one of shock. I guess she was expecting me to say something else. "But I'm fine though." I shrug and shake my head. "I just wanna get back to work." I tell her honestly and she shakes her head.

"No." She tells me. I'm confused. Am I being fired or something right now. "Talk to me." She instructs me.

"Meredith I-" She cuts me off, holding up a hand then tells me that it's okay and she's there to listen. So I unload... I tell her everything that's happened and oddly afterwards... I felt a little better.

–

"You seriously still here?" I ask Spencer as I make my way up my front steps. I can't believe she sat outside my apartment all day. I'm sure Mrs. Vega across the street got a kick out of that. She's always people watching. I take my key out of my bag and go to open my door.

"Lex..." Spencer asks in a tired whisper. "Please." I can't believe she sat out here in the hot sun all day.

I keep my face forward as she stands up next to me. I can't look at her, I may lose all my resolve. I clench jaw and restrain myself from giving in. I gain my composure before turning to look at her.

"Spencer…there is nothing you can say to me right now that I want to hear. Nothing you say is going to fix shit so just go home!"

She glances down at the ground probably trying to come up with some bullshit ass speech. I turn to go in my house, her words stop me. "I know that this is so beyond messed up Lex, but if you just give me a minute I swear I can explain." I sigh and turn back to face her. She stares at me with a blank look, like she's trying so hard to figure out something to say. She's been sitting in front of my door all day and she can't find a single thing to say? I shake my head and laugh in disbelief.

"Can I have the key I gave you please." I hold my hand out as wait as she digs around in her pocket for the key. After taking it off her keyring she hands it to me, I snatch it from her grasp before going inside and slamming my door shut behind me.

–

Why is it that whenever we're sad or going through a break-up we eat ice cream and watch sad movies? Like what the fuck is that supposed to do for us? Besides make us fat and even more sad!

I've be getting reacquainted with my old friend cookies and cream cookie dough blast ice cream while I watch the notebook... over and over... and over.

I think I've seen it about six times now. And every single time it gets me. Next I as thinking of watching Charlie St. Cloud or Lucky One, Dear John, or The Vow... you see where I'm going with this right. Okay good.

Well I think I'm deciding on Dear John cause come on... that movie is everything.

Amanda Seyfried brings a smile to my face... even if just for a moment.

I sigh when I hear my phone ring, reaching over to the coffee table to grab it.

"Yes mom." I say as I adjust the phone so my shoulder is holding it up to my ear, I have to put more ice cream in my mouth. I already know why she's calling me. She called me earlier at work but I was busy and told her I'd call her back. She wouldn't let me get off the phone until I told her what was bothering me first, though. So I did and then started crying... again. I'm so over crying.

"How are you doing honey?" She asks softly. I hate that my mom isn't here. I'd love for her to comfort me right now... tell me everything will be okay. You know, in a way only a mother can. But she fell in love and moved to Brazil last year after I graduated. She wanted me to come with, but I like my life here in the states...liked.

"Still crappy." I admit, sitting the ice cream on the coffee table. "Spencer keeps trying to talk to me. I don't know if I should. I mean... I want to, and I keep almost giving in but I just... I don't think she deserves it right now."

"Well that's something only you can decide Lex. I know that she hurt you. I get that honey, but Spencer is your best friend in the world. You two have been inseparable since you were in diapers. There's no way that a friendship as long and as deep as that can just be erased from memory. Give it some time... your wounds will eventually heal and maybe then you can give her a chance to explain everything. I'm sure Spencer has a good-"

"There's no good reason for cheating with your best friends girlfriend mom." I cut in. Cause there isn't! I don't care what the circumstances are... there's no excuse.

"I know honey. Just think about it...I'm coming Henry!" She shouts and I know she has to go. "I gotta go honey." She tells me and I sigh.

"Okay." I reply in a low voice.

"I'm gonna call you tomorrow okay. Just think about what I said. I love you."

"I love you too mom." I say as we hang up.

I guess it's back to my ice cream and movies...

–

Day three of this torture. Spencer and I have been best friends for as long as I can remember and we've never had a fight of this magnitude. Honestly, I don't even remember us ever being mad at each other. I don't feel like going to work today but I know if I don't I'm just gonna sit here and wallow in my own self pity.

I can't do that!

I can't be that girl! I'm so much stronger than that.

I open my front door and see Spencer sitting on my front step.

Seriously?!

I elect to not say anything as she holds out a bouquet of flowers. Fuck I look like? I don't want her 'I'm sorry' pitiful ass flowers.

I laugh and shake my head at her attempt, taking the flowers from her hands as I brush past her. There's one place these flowers belong. I take the liberty of placing them there.

The trash... in case you were wondering.

I get in my car and drive to work, praying Spencer won't be here when I get back. I don't how much longer I can hold out from talking to her.

–

"Spencer I'm really tired and don't have the strength for this right now. Just go away please." I ask in a low tone as I walk toward my porch. I'm really not in the mood right now. My asshole of a boss just gave me a shitload of work that I get to stay home and do.

I should be happy about that right? I get to stay home and people at work won't have to see me crying anymore... no. Being at home means I don't have the necessary distractions I need to not cry like a fucking baby over this situation.

"I just wanted to give you this." She stands, handing me an edible arrangement. Fuck! She got me fruit. I love fruit! Especially all these fruits. Don't do it Lexy. Stay strong! I look down at the basket and back at her. The look on her face is telling me that she either expects me to throw it at her or in the trash. But I'm not gonna do either. I adjust the basket in my arm to unlock the door to my apartment.

"Lex." She calls to me softly just as I steps over the threshold. I freeze, hand on the handle, before sighing and stepping inside, closing the door behind me. I'm this close to forgiving her. To telling her that we can put this behind us. Move forward with our friendship. But first, I need to know one thing.

"Did you sleep with her?" I ask softly when I open the door. She stops walking and turns back to face me. She looks as though she's trying to decide whether or not to tell me the truth.

"Lex it-"

"Did you sleep with her?!" I ask a bit more firmly this time. I don't want whatever bullshit answer she's trying to come up with. It's a yes or no question.

"Yes." She nods. And that's all I need to hear. That's the straw that broke the camels back. I've always disliked that metaphor. Funny how it fits so fucking perfectly here. I know that Spencer and I could never be friends again. "But it was only one time and I swear Lex that I-" She tries to explain but really, I don't wanna hear it.

"Save it!" I cut her off, shaking my head. "Just save it." I shake my head as I feel the tears building in my eyes again. I slam the door, unable to look at her face anymore. There's nothing Spencer or Ashley for that matter can say or do now that would make me forgive them. I look down at the basket of fruit filled with my favorites. I don't want this. It's guilt fruit. I pull the door open quickly, grabbing the basket off the table I'd sat in on. "And take this shit." I toss the fruit basket and it lands at her feet. "I don't want your guilt fruit! Just leave me the hell alone Spencer!" I slam the door for what I know will be the final time tonight. I don't plan on speaking to her any time soon. I look out my peephole and watch as Spencer bends down to clean up the fruit.

I sigh, turning away from the door. I know it's only a matter of time before the tears come... again.

–

Chapter Title- Chris Brown ft. Tyga- Deuces


	39. When A Heart Breaks

I'm sorry for the delay guys! I've been on vacation and I've had no time to post. Anyways, hope you enjoy the chapter. Let me know your thoughts. A lot of people were disappointed with the fact that the previous chapter was in Lexys' Pov as well as just a recap of the past couple of chapters. I just wanted to show those emotions from Lexy's POV so you guys could see how much this betrayal really hurt her. Anyways.

Enjoy

* * *

**When A Heart Breaks**

"Spencer." My mom peeks in my room. I lift my head to look at her. I don't deserve to speak words right now. "There's breakfast downstairs if you want it." She gives me a sad smile. I nod and she closes my door. I don't deserve to eat.

I sigh as I drop back down on my bed, grabbing my phone off the bed next to me and text Lexy for what seems like the thousandth time. I know I should give her the space she's asking for, that she deserves. I know it's the right thing to do, but I can't help but keep wanting to try.

As I drop my phone back next to me and it buzzes. I snatch it up, thinking it's Lexy but groan and roll my eyes when I see it's Ashley calling. She hasn't stopped calling me and trying to come see me since I hung up on her two days ago.

I can't see her... I don't deserve to see her.

Or talk to her right now.

It isn't right. Not when my best friend is in so much pain.

Not when this is all my fault. I should have fought harder, pushed my feelings aside. I never meant for things to end up like this and now I'm pushing away the one person I want to be closest to the most in this moment.

But like I said, I don't deserve to be so amazingly happy with Ashley when Lexy is hurting.

I dismiss her call and roll over to my stomach.

I didn't get any sleep last night. Not one drop. I haven't slept much the past couple of days actually. Ever since I took that fruit basket over to Lexy's place and she threw it back at me, I think I've realized that it may be over... that my friendship may be finished.

You know that saying that you don't know what you've got until it's gone, well that's how I'm feeling right now.

Sigh.

I really miss Ashley.

Why does life have to be so complicated? Why does fate push you, unrelentingly towards someone it knows you shouldn't want? I tried to not love her, to not want her... it didn't work. If anything it made me want her more.

_'You don't get to choose who you connect with.' _Andrew's words keep replaying over and over in my head.

I'm trying to use them to make myself feel better but they're making me feel worse.

Before I got here and ruined everything, Lexy had found her connection. Her and Ashley were perfectly happy and I ruined it.

The thought brings me to tears again. I've cried more in this past week then I have in my entire life.

I shouldn't have anymore tears left.

I feel my phone buzz on the bed again and I don't have to look at it to know it's Ashley. I'm not expecting Lexy to ever talk to me again.

I've known her eighteen years and seven months. We've been best friends since we were one. And I don't think she's ever gonna speak to me again. And honestly I deserve that.

I close my eyes tightly, letting the tears escape freely. No point in even wiping them anymore, more will come anyways.

Another knock on my door causes me to sit up and wipe my face. I don't tell the person to come in, but they do anyways.

"No." I shake my head when I see Ashley peek her head into my room.

"Your mom let me in." She whispers as she steps in. I scoot up further to my headboard.

"You should go." I plead in a pathetic tone, the words barely audible.

"Spencer don't push me away, not now." She shakes her head, moving closer to me.

"Just go, please." I tell her as a new wave of tears hit me. I just want to stop crying. I can't do that if she's here, reminding me of everything I did wrong.

"No." She shakes her head, sitting down in front of me on the bed. "I'm not going anywhere Spencer. I'm not gonna let you disappear on me. You promised you wouldn't do that again."

"That was before we fucking broke her heart Ashley. And what makes it even worse... is that I'm not sad about the fact that I stole you from her, cause I love you Ashley. God knows I do. I'm just sad that she's sad. That as her best friend... I let this go on so long. I broke her heart and I don't know how we can come back from that. I don't know if she'll ever forgive me." I clench my jaw and shake my head as my hand wipes away the never-ending tears.

"I know." Ashley nods, pulling me into a hug. It feels so good to be in her embrace. In a time like this... it's all I want really. But this is wrong. While my friend, her ex, is hurting we shouldn't get to comfort each other. "She'll forgive you Spencer. You're her best friend." Ashley whispers. I close my eyes to fight more tears.

I can't do this.

I pull back, shaking my head. "Please just go." I beg her through sobs, unable to fight the pain anymore.

"Spencer don't ask me to do that. I've given you five days. Please just let me be here." She begs as her eyes now water.

My heart swells at the sight. I never wanna see Ashley cry. I shake away the feeling and get up from the bed. "Please." I ask again.

I need time alone. I need time to think... to figure out how to fix this cause the lame ass attempts I've made haven't succeeded.

She just stares at me shaking her head.

I need her to understand me right now. Understand that I just need some time.

"Spencer I can't-"

"Ashley, I need you to go." I drop my head, wiping at my stinging eyes.

She jumps up from the bed and steps in front of me, lifting my eyes to meet hers. "Stop tryna push me away." She tells me and when I try to look away she pulls my head back forward. "We didn't plan this Spencer. We didn't intend to hurt Lexy. I'm sad that she's hurting, I am." She nods, grabbing both sides of my face. "But I love _you. _I love you so much Spencer. And whether it was now or ten years from now I'm sure I would have eventually found you. You're my soul mate Spencer, and as corny as that sounds, I know it's true. And so do you. You can't fight this. We can't push it aside and pretend like it doesn't exist. We've tried that remember. It only makes us want it more." She pauses, dropping her eyes to my lips as she licks hers. "I will never love anyone else like this. Please don't take this love away from me." She begs, closing her eyes as I sigh.

"I love you too." I say after a moment. She opens her eyes, staring at mine intently. She licks her lips again before moving her head toward mine to kiss me. I kiss her back immediately. Feeling like it's been way too long since I felt her lips on mine. It's another kiss full of promises.

Promises to love.

Promises to never leave.

Promises that we shouldn't be making right now.

Not while Lexy is in so much pain.

I push her back. She gives me a confused look. I lay my forehead gently against hers as we both try to catch our breath.

"I love you." She breathes out.

"I love you too." I tell her. Cause I do. God knows I do. But I... I just need time. "I need you to leave Ashley." I tell her. She lifts her head up to look in my eyes. I close mine, unable to withstand her gaze. "Please." I whisper. She drops her hands from my face and steps back. I open my eyes. She looks confused, hurt... yet another person I've hurt this summer.

I'm starting to really think that coming here this summer was the biggest mistake ever.

When she doesn't say anything I walk over to my door and open it. She drops her head before turning around to look at me. I'm trying to look everywhere but at her. I can't. I'll cave in. And right now I need to stand strong. She sighs before walking closer to me. She stops in front of me, I'm expecting her to say something...but she doesn't. She leans in and kisses my lips softly before walking out. I shut the door behind her, leaning up against it for support.

I replay the past months events in my head.

The happy times.

The sad ones.

Lexy.

Stacy.

Mrs. Williams.

The boys.

Madison and Aiden.

My family and even Ashley's.

I slide my back down the door, already knowing what's coming next.

I don't deserve any relief from this pain.

–

"Are you sure this is what you wanna do Spencer?" Madison asks me for the tenth time.

"Yeah. I just... I need to get away. I thought you of all people would be thrilled."

"I am." Madison says quickly. "Trust me. I'm ecstatic. I just didn't want you to come back like this you know. I don't like that you're hurting." Madison says in a worried tone.

"I'm fine Mads. I just need to leave this place." I assure her. I know that I'm lying though. Leaving here solves nothing. I'm still short a best friend and I don't have Ashley.

So basically, I've got nothing. Hurting Lexy was all for nothing.

"Spencer I don't know who you think you're talking to right now, but this is Madison. I know you whore." Madison says and I can't help but laugh a little.

"I'm fine Mads." I shake my head at my friend as I continue to pack up my clothes. I sit down on the bed, grabbing my camera, going through the pictures.

"What about Ashley? You gonna tell her you're leaving?"

"No." I reply quickly.

"Spencer you really think that's-"

"I just need a clean break Mads." I cut her off as I stop on a picture of Ashley at the garden.

I close my eyes and sigh, quickly changing the picture to one of Joey doing a cannonball into Mrs. Williams pool, and Mrs. Williams throwing her head back in laughter.

"Okay." Madison says, sensing my mood change.

"I gotta go. I'll call you when I'm at the airport okay?"

"Okay." She agrees without a fight. We hang up and I toss my phone on the bed with a sigh as I flip through more pictures.

I really am gonna miss everyone.

I toss my camera on my bed as someone knocks on my door. I sigh and lay down as I yell out a 'come in.' My mother peeks her head in my room.

"Can I come in?" She questions softy. I nod and she comes in and takes a seat next to me on the bed. She glances back at my packed suitcase then back to me.

"Mom I really don't wanna talk about it I just need to-"

"I understand." She nods, cutting me off. Her understanding catches me off guard a little. I sit up and look at her.

"You do?" I ask with a raised brow.

"Things didn't go quite like you pictured them huh?" I groan and shake my head. "So you're running from them?" She asks. Ugh! Clearly she doesn't understand.

"Mom." I whine out. "I thought you said you understood."

"I do." She nods, placing a hand on my leg. "I do honey. But just because I understand doesn't mean I approve. You can't just run away from your problem Spencer. Cause eventually, they'll catch up to you."

"Could you not be such a mom right now." I groan and playfully roll my eyes.

"Being a mom is a full time job Spencer. I don't get to take days off." She smiles. "All I'm saying is maybe you shouldn't run away just yet. Go..." She pushes my feet off the bed. "Try to talk to her again."

"I've been trying mom." I wave my cell phone around. I've decided that going back over to Lexy's place is not a good idea right now so I've been trying to call her and sending her texts, thinking maybe she'll respond to at least one. But nothing. It's been two days and still no reply.

"You kids and your technology." She shakes her head, standing up from the bed. "A text message or a phone call is not gonna get through to her Spencer. Go talk to her, face to face. Here." She says, tossing me her keys. "You can use my car." I groan and use the bed to pull myself up from the floor.

"But you're the one that said I should give her more space." I say.

"And now I'm saying it's time you fix this. You're leaving Spencer. Do you really wanna leave things this way?"

"Fine" I pout. She smiles and kisses my forehead.

"And just so you know... because you're leaving an entire month and a half early, you're coming home every break you get from school this year, got it?" She questions with a stern look on her face.

"Yeah." I nod quickly.

–

I release a deep breath as I sit outside Lexy's apartment. There's no way she's gonna talk to me. I don't even know what I'm doing here. I groan as I practically roll out of the car and up to Lexy's front door. I knock, not expecting an answer, even though I see her car in the lot.

To my surprise she opens the door.

"Go away Spencer." She says in a flat tone. I scan over her face. She's clearly been up crying all night. Ugh! I feel so much worse.

"No." I shake my head. She's gonna talk to me, even if I have to force my way inside. "Can we talk?" I ask hopeful. She rolls her eyes and opens the door wider before walking away.

Was that a yes?

I walk in and shut the door behind me. I follow her into the living room and take seat on the couch across from her.

She not saying anything, she's not even looking at me right now.

"Lexy I know that you don't want to talk to me or see me. I know that I'm probably the last person on earth that you want to be around right now. But I'm glad that you're letting me get this out, even though I don't deserve that much from you." I tell her. She glances up at me but quickly averts her gaze back to something on the carpet. I sigh, running a nervous hand through my hair. I didn't really have a speech planned, I honestly didn't expect her to answer the door. "I know that right now things seem really shitty. That what we did...what I did... is the worst thing that a best friend could ever do to someone." She scoffs and rolls her eyes. Probably at me calling her my best friend. I don't blame her. Best friends don't do what I did. "I know you probably hate me right now and I don't blame you. I hate me too, I just needed to-"

"Spare me the self loathing Spencer!" She snaps, cutting me off, venom spewing from her voice. "I could fucking care less how you feel right now." She shrugs. "I don't give a shit about your feelings. Cause when you were fucking my girlfriend you sure as hell didn't give a shit about mine."

"Lex it wasn't like-"

"Shut up!" She screams, cutting me off again. "You don't get to play the victim in this. You don't get to use your Spencer charm to weasel your way out of this. You fucked up, big time and I really don't care to hear the details of it."

"I wasn't trying to weasel my way out of anything." I shake my head. A little hurt by her words. I didn't know she thought of me that way. She scoffs again. "Lex I-"

"Stop calling me that!" She snaps. I swallow the lump in my throat.

"Alexis," I use her full name this time. "I never wanted you to get hurt. I was trying so hard to not feel what I was feeling. I tried staying away from her, but you just kept pushing us closer together-"

"So this is my fault?" She lets out a shrill of a laugh. "Classic Spencer, always pushing the blame on someone else, never taking responsibility for her own actions." She shakes her head as she runs a hand through her tangled curls.

"I don't do that." I narrow my eyes, shaking my head.

"Right." She rolls her eyes.

I know that I messed up and I deserve her anger but she's really laying it on me here and I'm not sure how much more of this I can take.

"Le...Alexis." I correct myself when she gives me a death glare. "I'm so sorry that you got hurt."

"Oh you're sorry!" She yells out. "Listen up everyone, Spencer's sorry she fucked my girlfriend. She's so fucking sorry so everything is okay now!" She shouts to no one in particular. I've never seen Lexy like this.

"From the beginning." I shout over her as she keeps yelling out that I'm sorry. "I kept telling myself that I'd rather it be me that got hurt you. I never wanted this."

"But you're not the one that's hurting here, are you?" She stops shouting and looks at me.

If only she knew. I think that's part of the reason I'm pushing Ashley away. I feel like I deserve to be hurt.

But I don't get to feel sorry for myself right now.

"Please don't think for a second that I-"

"You know what Spencer, fuck you! Get out." She snaps, catching me off guard. I give her a confused look as she stands up from the couch.

"Lexy what-"

"We sat on this very couch talking and you could have just told me then. You could have told me that it was you, but no." She shakes her head. "You let me go on being the damn fool. You looked me dead in my eyes and you lied to me. A best friend wouldn't do that. I don't care about Ashley, I care about the fact that you, my best friend..." She pauses as her voice breaks and I know she's about to cry. I really can't see her cry right now. "You of all people would do this to me." She shakes her head.

"Lexy please don't-"

"Just go!" She throws a hand towards the door as her tears fall. I hate seeing her cry. I hate it! And more than that, I hate that I'm the reason she's crying right now.

"Lex." I walk towards her, trying to wrap my arms around her. I know that I don't have this right anymore. I gave up that right the moment I let my feelings for Ashley cloud my judgment and crossed that line. She pushes me away as she cries harder. I try again. She pushes me away again. I try one more time, this time she just melts in my arms. Releasing everything that she'd been holding in. As she sobs in my arms. I rub circles in her back, comforting her in the only way I can right now. I shoulda just kept my mouth shut.

"Everything's gonna be fine." I utter out stupidly. She stops crying and pulls back, looking at me. Hatred in her eyes once again.

"Just get out." She mumbles and I stumble back a bit from her embrace.

"Lex just..."

"Leave Spencer!" She shouts. I sigh, knowing I won't win this battle with her. I drop my head, rubbing my forehead.

"I'm so sorry Lex." I say finally before walking towards the door.

"I hope it was worth it." I hear her say before I leave out the door.

Was it?

–

I find myself getting out of the car for the second time today day. I have been trying to get Ashley out of my mind all day and I'm at the one place that reminds me of her the most.

I didn't want to leave without telling Mrs. Williams goodbye. I walk up behind her as she tends to her garden, she's so cute with her sun hat and garden tools.

"Afternoon." I say and startle her a bit. I pout feeling bad about scaring her.

She giggles and stands up dusting her knees. "Spencer dear, giving an old woman a fright."

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to."

She pulls me into a hug and seconds later we release from the embrace. I'm going to miss her simplicity, every time I'm with her my problems don't really feel like problems. She just gives off this carefree euphoria feeling and I don't really stress too much over what's bugging me.

"It's quite alright. What brings you by?"

I rub the back of my neck nervously and look into her eyes. They are full of life and wisdom and I can't help but smile at how friendly they are.

"I just came by to say…well goodbye." I let out a pathetic chuckle and Mrs. Williams frowns a little. I guess my awkward laugh didn't take away from the news.

"Where are you going?"

"Back to New York…I can't…I need not to be here. It's too much."

She purses her lips and nods slowly. "So things didn't work out for you then?" I shake my head no and look down at her neat lawn, watching as I glide my foot back and forth. I look back up at her and she's awaiting more of a response. "No they didn't. That's a bit of an understatement though."

"I'm sure…things did look a bit hairy when you stormed out of the club the other night."

I snort in agreement.

Hairy indeed.

"Yeah well let's just say that I lost my best friend…for good it seems."

"Well Spencer, there are some people that were meant to just pass through our lives. Just because we've known them for a better part of our life doesn't mean they were meant to last." I sigh at her revelation. "Then there are some who come later on that stay with us forever." She gives me a knowing smile and I know she's talking about Ashley.

I can't think about that now though.

I just grab Mrs. Williams into another hug and squeeze tightly.

"Thank you so much for being around this summer…and for not calling the cops."

She laughs and swats my arm. "Thank you for bringing my home back to life again. It's been some time since there was so much joy in these walls."

"Well I'll be back during break and I will come back and see you."

"The lemonade and I will be waiting. Hopefully by then I'll have a glass for Ashley as well." I give her a sad smile and she grabs my hand to give it a soft squeeze. "One day at a time Spencer, no one said you have to figure out love and life all in one day."

I release a heavy breath. "What would I have done without you this summer Mrs. Williams?"

"Oh stop, you flatterer you." She giggles and releases my hand I walk away sad and take a final glance in her direction. She watches as I leave.

There has been a lot of hurt and love going around this summer and I can honestly say I love that woman back there, she's definitely given me a lot of insight that if it were anyone else I would have dismissed.

She's just one more reason for me to come back even though right now nothing about LA seems appealing.

–

"I promise mom, I'm coming back on our first break. I swear." I tell my mom as she hugs me in the middle of the airport. I roll my eyes as I pull back.

"You better." She tells me.

"I'll see you later dad." I say as I pull my dad into a hug.

"Love you sweetheart." He says as we pull apart.

"See you Clay. Tell Chelsea I said I'm sorry we didn't get to hang out."

"No worries." He waves me off. "She understands." He gives me a small smile and grabs me for a hug. "I love you little sis." He whispers into my ear.

"Love you too, Clay."

When we pull back Glen and I stare at each other awkwardly. We never really have been the hugging brother and sister pair. I guess I can make an exception this time. Cause as annoying as he is... I still love him. "I love you Glen." I tell him as we hug awkwardly. He groans and pulls back.

"I guess I love you too." He forces out and it causes me to smile and shake my head at him. I grab the handle bars on both of my suitcases, lifting them so I can roll them.

"I love you guys." I tell my family as they wave goodbye to me. The burning sensation in my eyes telling me that I'm gonna cry. I give them a sad smile as I turn and walk away.

"Spencer!" A familiar voice calls to me. No... it can't be. I turn around to see Ashley running towards me.

How did she even know I was here?

"Ashley please don't-"

"You were just gonna leave without telling me?" She asks, out of breath, hurt still evident in her voice.

"How did you even know I was leaving?"

"Your mom called me." She turns around and gives my mom a small smile. How in the hell did my mom even get her number? I look around Ashley to my mom with narrowed eyes. She only smiles.

"I'm leaving, Ashley I can't-"

"Please." She steps closer to me. "I love you Spencer. I can't-"

"But you can." I cut her off, already knowing what she's going to say. "And you will." I drop my head and sigh. "Goodbye Ashley." I lift up and quickly kiss her lips. She pulls me closer to her, not letting me pull away.

"I love you Spencer." She chokes out. "Please don't leave me. I can't... this isn't..." She's having a hard time getting her thoughts together. "Please on't do this to me... to us."

No crying Spencer... absolutely no crying.

"I love you." I nod once as I pull myself from her grasp.

"Please." She begs again. Ugh! I don't know why I expected this is be easy. I love Ashley, I do. I just, I need to get away from L.A. "I can't live without you here. You're my everything Spence. Please."

"It's for the best." I try.

"How can you say that?" She lifts her head to look me in the eyes. "You leaving me, could never be for the best."

"Right now just isn't a-"

"Spencer, I'm begging you not to do this." I sigh and shake my head. I have already made up my mind. And I may regret this later but right now I feel like this is the best thing...

I give her one last kiss on her forehead before I grab my suitcases and turn to walk away. I hear her take a couple sharp intakes of breath, the kind you do when you're crying really hard. But I know if I turn around. If I comfort her right now I'll lose all resolve.

I can't... I need to go.

I don't turn back as I hear my family yell one final goodbye to me. I keep walking forward...

Away from them.

Away from California.

Away from Love...

* * *

Chapter Title- Ben Rector- When A Heart Breaks


	40. Time After Time

**Time After Time**

_Three Months Later _

"This Art history: Time and Illusions is really kicking my ass." I tell my friend as we exit my dorm to walk to class together.

"I told you not to take that shit." She chuckles. "That's what you get."

"Well you're a bit mentally challenged Mads, I just thought it was hard for you." I drawl out and laugh as she hits me on the arm.

"Fuck you blondie." She laughs along with me.

"I've already told you Mads, I don't swing that way." I joke.

"And what way is that...Puerto Rican?" She asks, raising a brow. "Cause your ass sure as hell-"

"You did not just say that?" I stop walking, bending over to laugh and finding it hard to breathe.

"What'd I say?" She asks seriously. I can't even deal with her right now. When I finally get my breathing under control I link our arms and shake my head at my friend.

"You're a freaking riot, you know that?" I question my friend who just smiles as we continue our trek to class. I hate the fact that my dorm is completely across campus now; away from all my classes.

"You love me." She smiles.

"That I do." I tell her, laying my head down on her shoulder. "Where's Aiden?" I ask, realizing he's not making this normal walk with us.

"He's decided to skip his morning classes today." She replies with a shrug. I mumble out an 'oh' and notice her glancing over at me. "You okay Spence?" She asks after a moment. I know what she's asking me without her having to say it.

This past summer was... well, the worst and best times of my life.

I fell in love... like really fell in love.

And then had my heartbroken.

I lost my absolute best friend, but became immensely closer to another.

I realized that although my mom gets on my nerves most of the time, she always only has my best interest at heart.

I've experienced more one summer then some people experience their entire lives.

Most importantly, I've felt it... I know what it feels like to love someone so much it hurts. To be willing to do anything for them. To want them so much you forget where you end and they begin. And most importantly, I know what it's like to give up that love. To believe that the only way to make things right is to give up the one thing you want in life.

I sigh and close my eyes, relishing in the memory of the brunette. I don't really say her name anymore. It hurts too much. And until now, Madison hasn't really brought it up. She knows that I don't like to talk about it.

"I'm okay." I whisper.

"You know I love you right?" She stops us, turning to me. I give her a confused look before nodding.

"Of course."

"And that I wouldn't do anything that I didn't think was good for you, right?"

I nod again. "Madison what's going on?" I question. I'm so confused right now.

"I'm being a good best friend." She gives me a small smile before turning me around to face the other direction.

I gasp at the sight in front of me.

Am I dreaming?

This must be a dream.

I rub my eyes, telling myself to wake up.

"You're not dreaming." An all too familiar voice tells me. I open my eyes and there she is. She's here. Standing directly in front of me. I close my eyes again. "No." She says quickly, causing me to reopen them. "I want you to see me." She says as her eyes scan my face. I'm still debating whether or not this is real. "This is real." She whispers. "I'm real."

Okay she really needs to stop reading my mind right now.

"How...why..." I shake my head, trying to will myself to say something intelligible. Words won't seem to form right now.

"She called me." Madison speaks up from behind me. "She called and asked me if it were okay if she came. I told her yes." I turn to look at Madison. I can't decide if I want to hug her right now or kill her. "Don't kill me." She says holding her hands up with a smile.

Why is everyone reading my mind right now?

Am I that easy to read?

I turn back to Ashley, unsure of what to say.

I guess she realizes this because she opts to do all the talking. "These past few months I've had a lot of time to think Spencer. I've gone over it in my head time and time again." She pauses, shaking her head. "I can't figure it out. I can't wrap my head around why God would bring you into my life and then just take you away." She takes her bottom lip between her teeth and I can see the tears building in her eyes. "But I get it now." She nods. "I wasn't ready then, I wasn't ready to love you like you deserve to be loved... then..." She stresses the word then. "But I am now." She nods. "I know it wasn't easy for you to just love me, after what happened with Lexy and I don't expect you to forget everything that happened this summer, everything that I put you through. But I want you to know that I love you Spencer Carlin and I have since the moment I laid eyes on you." She smiles as the tears begin to fall. "And I hope that you can find it in your heart to give me another chance." She finishes and starts to back up.

Wait, where's she going?

"Where are you-"

"To finish this how it began." She smiles. "With a song." She adds before turning and running back in the direction she came from.

"Hey Spencer!" Andrew, Joey and Mikey all yell. Oh crap! I didn't even see them there. And all the bands equipment. What the hell? How did I miss all that?

I guess tunnel vision does exists. I look beside the boys to a smiling Stacy. She waves before walking towards me.

"Yup, she's still hot." Madison leans forward and whispers to me.  
"You're so bisexual." I tell my friend. Giggling and shaking my head at her.

"Meh." She shrugs.

"Hi." Stacy says once she reaches me.

"Hi." I reply with a smile.

"It's good to see you, Spence. We've missed you around L.A." She says placing a hand on my arm.

"It's really good to see you too, Stace." I tell her, pulling her into a hug. "I'm so sorry about-"

"It's okay, Spencer." She cuts me off, pulling back from our hug. "Like I said before, we don't always get to choose the people we connect with. I just want you to be happy." She shrugs, leaning to look around me at my friend. "Hey Madison."

Madison giggles like a damn school girl before saying, "Hey Stacy."

See... so gay.

"Well, I better get back over there." She thumbs back towards the band.  
"What's going on?" I question, looking around her at Ashley.

"Why she wrote you a song of course." Stacy smiles. "It's a good one Spence." She adds before walking back to join her band. I watch them as they finish setting up, each of the three boys smiling brightly at me. Aw, I missed them.

Madison moves closer to me, taking my hand in hers as Mikey beats his drum sticks together and starts a countdown as Stacy starts playing her keyboard. Soon Joey and Andrew join in and the few people that were walking to class have stopped to watch the impromptu performance.

Ashley gives me another warm smile before grabbing the mic, waiting for her cue to start singing.

"_Lying in my bed, I hear the clock tick and think of you. Caught up in circles, confusion is nothing new. Flashback, warm nights, almost left behind. Suitcase memories, time after...sometimes you'll picture me, I'm walking to far ahead. You're calling to me I can't hear what you've said. Then you say, go slow. I fall behind. The second hand unwinds." _

Stacy and Andrew join in as she sings the chorus. _"If you're lost you can look and you will find me. __Time after time. If you fall I will catch you I'll be waiting. Time after time. If you're lost you can look and you will find me. Time after time. If you fall I will catch you, time after time."_

Andrew does a short guitar solo before Ashley starts to sing again, this time with the accompaniment of Mikey. _"After my picture fades and darkness has turned to gray, watching through windows you're wondering if I'm okay. Secrets stolen, from deep inside. The drum beats out of time."_ They finish and the others join into the chorus.

"_If you're lost you can look and you will find me. Time after time. If you fall I will catch you I'll be waiting, time after time." _

Andrew does another short solo before Ashley sings again on her own._"You said go slow. I fall behind. The second hand unwinds." _

The band joins in. _"If you're lost you can look and you will find me. Time after time. If you fall I will catch you, I'll be waiting. Time after time. If you're lost you can look and you will find me. Time after time. If you fall I will catch you..."_

"_I will be waiting._" Ashley solo's.

"_Time after time."_ The group joins back in. _"Time after time. Time after time. Time after time. Time after time. Time after time. Time after time." _The gradually get softer with each time saying it. _"Time after time. Time after..." _When they stop playing the couple dozen people that had stopped to listen cheer out and whistle.

The rest of the band smiles and waves to the crowd but Ashley, her eyes on focused on mine. She's smiling at me. She side steps the mic, walking towards me; never letting her eyes leave mine. I feel Madison release my hand and step away from me, just as Ashley reaches me.

"I just want you to know that I'm Spencer. I'm here and I'm not going anywhere. I know that you may need a little more time and I get that." She nods. "But I want you to know that I'll wait for you. I'll wait as long as you need to-"

I hear a few cheers as I cut Ashley off with my lips. I think Madison cheers the loudest.

I kissed her because one, she was talking too much.

And because all I've wanted to do since I saw her five minutes ago is kiss her.

And because all I ever want to do when I'm around her is kiss her.

And because most importantly I can... and not feel guilty about it.

"Thank you." I whisper once we pull back.

"For what?" She questions, confusion evident in her tone.

"Coming here." I shrug and shake my head. "For singing that song." I smile and she bites her lip shyly. "And..." I trail off, taking in her face. How I've missed this face.

"And?" She asks, urging me to continuing.

"For being you." I reply simply, pulling her into another kiss. The crowd cheers again, a few squeals and cat calls cause us to giggle, breaking our kiss. And the groans that followed made us laugh even harder.

"I don't think our audience is liking our show." She chuckles into my neck.

"I think we should make this a private one." I reply.

"Booo." Madison says from next to me.

"Seriously?" I turn to her with a raised brow and say, noticing that all the bystanders were now dispersing. She shrugs and smiles. "I seriously wonder Madison." I tell my friend with the most serious look I can muster.

She laughs and shakes her head. "So I take it you're not going to class today?" She questions with a raised brow. I shake my head. "Figured." She smacks her lips. "Well you two have fun, you know... fuc-"

"Oh my God, Madison go!" I shout at my friend. Not letting her finish her sentence. She shrugs and chuckles again before waving and heading off the class.

"So, what do you want to do?" Ashley asks as I turn back to face her.

"I don't know." I shrug. I look around her at the band. They're pretty much done packing up and when they see me looking Andrew shouts,"We love you Spencer!" Mikey and Joey concur apparently. I chuckle at them.

"Don't mind them." Ashley turns back to her band and shakes her head with a smile. "They just missed you." She turns back to me.

"Are they alone?" I ask, quirking a brow.

"Nope." She shakes her head. "Definitely not alone."

"You think Lexy will ever find it in her heart to forgive me?" I ask as we walk back towards my dorm room. Yeah, there's no way I'm going to class now.

"I'm not sure." Ashley says throwing and arm over my shoulder. "When I went by the house to pick up the rest of my stuff last month she offered me a s'more so..." We both chuckle a bit, Lexy loves herself some s'mores. "I think she will Spence, she just needs time." Ashley nods and kisses my temple.

"I hope so." I reply softly.

We walk in silence and it's anything but uncomfortable. God, I missed her!

The feeling of having her here with me, holding my hand. It's amazing. I look over at her and smile. She's looking at me and I can't help the giggle that escapes my lips.

"I missed you." She tells me in a whisper.

"Really? I had not a clue with that song you wrote me."

"Oh no, that wasn't for you." She shakes her head seriously. "That was for Madison."

"I knew it!" We erupt in laughter and it feels good to be this way after spending the last few months trying to get through the pain. Having her here erases every bad thing I've been feeling. We get up to my room and I fumble my keys. I lean against my door and bite my lip nervously.

"So now what?" Ashley asks as she places both her hands on the door, trapping me there. She moves her face closer.

"We could make s'mores." I answer with a smirk. She groans, grabbing my keys and placing the correct one into the keyhole, successfully unlocking the door.

"I think we can do better than s'mores."

I giggle as she attacks my neck and we stumble through the door. We shut it behind us as if we closing the door on our past as we start our future...together.

* * *

Song used- Cyndi Lauper- Time After Time

A/N: There will be an epilogue that will be in four parts. I wanted to get all four parts completed before I posted them and right now I'm finishing up part 2 so expect part one once three and four are completed. Which should be within the next week or two. I hope everyone enjoyed the story.


	41. Breakeven

_Italics_ are flashbacks.

* * *

**Breakeven**

"Ashley if we don't leave now we're gonna be late." I tell my girlfriend as she continues to apply eyeliner.

"I'm trying to look hot for you baby." She turns from the mirror and kisses me.

"You always look hot. You don't have to try." I counter causing her to smile widely.

"One more second." She tells me turning back to the mirror. "All done." She declares a moment later.

"Finally." I sigh out dramatically and smile. She pulls me into her arms, wrapping them around my waist.

"I love you." She tells me as she kisses me softly.

Oh no! I know exactly what she's doing.

"We promised no goodbyes Ashley." I tell her, pulling back to look in her eyes.

"I wasn't saying goodbye, I was simply telling you that I love you." She pecks my forehead then my nose, then my lips again.

"It feels like goodbye and I told you, I can't do goodbye. I only just got you back a few weeks ago." I tell her leaning my forehead against hers. I knew this day was coming, I've been dreading it. Ashley and the band have to go on another small tour around the country to promote their upcoming mix tape. As much as I've been preparing myself... this day still hurts. A measly eighteen hours is not nearly enough time.

But it's all we have left before she goes away for four whole months.

"I know baby." She sighs and pecks my lips again. "I don't want to upset you, I know this is the longest we're gonna be away from each other since you know..."

"I left California three and a half months ago." I finish for her.

"Right." She nods and forces a smile. "It still hurts to think about those three months. Months of crying, trying so hard to figure out a way to get through to you. You wouldn't answer my calls, emails, texts anything. It was horrible Spence." She tells me. I nod knowing exactly how she feels. "Why'd you do it? What were you thinking when you left?"

"I wasn't really." I answer honestly. "I guess I just figured leaving would be easier on everyone, you know. Leaving felt like something I probably should have done before things went as far as they did. Maybe if I had removed myself from the situation sooner-"

"No." She cuts me off, shaking her head. She grabs my head in her hands. "There was nothing either of us could have done baby. This..." She places a hand over my heart then takes the same hand and places it over hers. "Was meant to be. And whether we admitted it then or five years from now..." She rolls her eyes and smiles. "It would have happened eventually. I'm sure of it." I can't help the smile that forms on my lips. Ashley always seems to know the right thing to say to me.

"Yeah." I agree, kissing her lips. She pulls me back by my shoulders and stares at me. "What?" I question, confusion evident in my tone.

"Those three months," She starts, quirking a brow. "How'd you manage to not go insane like me?"

I shrug and shake my head. "I don't know. Madison's a pretty good distraction."

"Seriously?" She asks.

"I mean her and other things." I nod.

"Other things like?" She steps back and sits down on the bed.

"Ash seriously, we're gonna be so late." I whine, but she just looks at me expectantly. "You're seriously gonna do this? And now?" I question my stubborn girlfriend.

"I wanna hear every detail." She replies, scooting back towards the headboard.

"Ugh!" I groan and take a seat on the bed. "Fine. But everything though?" I question in disbelief cause I mean come on, three months is a long time to play catch up on.

"Everything." She replies simply.

–

"_Welcome aboard flight 226 non-stop service to John F. Kennedy airport. We're looking at a 7:52pm arrival time where the weather is sunny with a high of 71 degrees. I'm your captain ladies and gentlemen let's have a wonderful flight shall we." The captain finishes and the only thoughts that are running through my mind consist of Ashley._

_I can't do this!_

_I shouldn't be running away. _

_I need to go back._

_I unbuckle my seat belt. "Um I need to get off this plane!" I stand and yell to the flight attendant._

"_Ma'am you need to take your seat we're about to take off." She tells me, as she walks down the aisle to me. _

"_No." I shake my head. "You don't understand. I have to get off this plane. I have to go back."_

_"Ma'am I'm sorry but you can't get off the plane. We're about to take off."_

_"No! I need to get off now." When the flight attendant opens her mouth to tell me to sit down I shout. "This plane is gonna crash." The collective gasp from the crowd startles me. What the hell are you doing Spencer?_

–

"You didn't?" Ashley giggles from the top of the bed. I roll my eyes and sigh. Sadly I did.

"Shut up!" I pick up a pillow and throw it at her.

"I'm sorry." She gets out through chuckles. "You totally pulled a final destination." She adds as she grabs her stomach and continues to laugh.

"Okay since you wanna be an ass I'm not gonna finish the story." I pout, folding my arms over my chest.

"No no." She waves her right hand as the left one continues to clutch her stomach. "Okay, okay I'm good." She clears her throat and sits up. "Continue."

"Nope." I shake my head, keeping my pout.

She gets on her knees and crawls over to me. "I'm sorry I laughed." She whispers in a seductive tone. Totally not fair! "I promise not to interrupt you again." She adds, taking my ear between her teeth. Okay no! Just no!

"Fine!" I shoot up from the bed and catch the smirk my girlfriend is sporting. What an asshole. A hot, sexy, seductive asshole. She scoots back to her original position and waits for me to continue.

–

"_I'm so sorry things didn't work out for you Spence." My best friend tells me as she pulls me into a hug._

–

"Wait what!" Ashley stops me.

"You said you wouldn't interrupt me again." I tell her with a raised brow.

"Yeah but you totally skipped the best part. I wanted to hear what else happened on the plane."

"We should really go." I tell my girlfriend standing up from the bed. "I mean, people are waiting for us and whatnot. We shouldn't keep them waiting." I try but Ashley's not buying it.

"Spencer if you don't sit your sexy ass down and finish telling me-"

"Ugh fine!"

–

"_Ma'am if you don't take a seat, I'm afraid I'll have to have the Air Marshall handcuff you to it." The flight attendant tells me. _

"_Right." I nod and sit my skinny ass down as the flight attendant calms the worried passengers with a speech on the many safety guidelines and regulations this aircraft follows. Then she gives a statistic on the amount of plane crashes that happen in a year. _

_I smile briefly thinking of when Ashley told me that on our first plane ride together. _

_Ugh! It's too late. I'm leaving L.A and probably losing Ashley for good. I guess things happen they way they're meant to. _

"_You know they could have arrested you for that." A small woman says next to me. _

"_Yeah it was stupid. I don't know what I was thinking." I shake my head. _

"_You said you needed to go back, mind if I ask to what?" _

_I sigh as Ashley's face floods my mind. The look she had when I walked away. _

"_A girl." I reply honestly. I'm not sure why I feel the need to tell this stranger any of my business._

"_Must be one heck of a girl if you're willing to go to jail for her." She chuckles and puts on a pair of glasses, pulling a book from her bag. _

"_She was...is." I nod and read the label of her book. "The Great Gatsby." I smile. _

"_One of my favorites." The woman looks at me briefly before turning back to her book. _

_Mine too..._

_I close my eyes as I sit back in my chair. I can't get her face out of my mind. I'm not sure if I will ever be able to..._

–

"_I'm so sorry things didn't work out for you Spence." My best friend tells me as she pulls me into a hug._

"_Yeah me too." I tell her honestly as she takes one of my suitcases and starts rolling it out of the airport. _

"_Well at least you can say that you've loved. Like really loved. You know some people never get to experience that Spence. Maybe that's all Ashley was meant to be in your life: A love unobtainable." I stop walking and look at my friend._

_"No." I shake my head. "God wouldn't do that. That's cruel and unusual punishment. It's against the eight commandment." _

"_First of all that's an amendment and I'm pretty sure God doesn't go by the Constitution, Spence." Madison chuckles as we start to walk again. _

"_Madison this hurts." I tell my friend as Ashley flashes in my mind once again. _

"_Are you sure leaving was the right thing to do?" Madison questions, holding a hand up to stop my movement. _

"_No." I reply honestly, shaking my head. "But it's all I had." I shrug. _

"_Come on." Madison says wrapping an arm around my shoulder as she leads me to her car. _

–

_Madison tugs on the bottom of my blanket and I hold on tight on the other end._

_"Spencer get your ass out of this bed right now!"_

_I bury my head into my pillow and groan as I fight my best friend for my cover._

_"Just leave me alone Madison let me wallow in peace."_

_She starts speaking in Spanish and I'm quickly growing scared but I have to stand my ground. As soon as I reached New York it's like I forgot how to speak and my body went on autopilot. Madison has tried everything to get me to speak but all I've done so far is cry and try not to cry but mostly cry._

_Everything from takeoff to landing has been me reminiscing her. _

_I kept calm because thoughts of how she easily slipped her hand into mine made the flight easy. The way conversation flowed as if we've speaking our whole lives and suddenly running away seems like a mistake but things are too screwed up right now.  
_

_I love her and right now I feel too guilty to continue. I want to feel her, be near her and the fact that I'm focusing on my pain and not the pai__n I've caused everyone else makes me consider the fact that this isn't right. It's so selfish. I'm selfish and I don't know how to be, nothing is making any sense._

_Nothing except wallowing about how miserable this situation is. How miserable I am._

_"I swear Spencer I am going to beat your ass if you don't get out of this bed right now it's been a week when's the last time you even showered!"_

_I inhale deeply trying to see if I smell bad and I frown a little. I could be worse._

_"I'm still fresh and so clean, clean."_

_I'm glad I can still crack a joke._

_"Alright Outkast glad you've returned for a comeback tour now I suggest you get out of bed before I get Aiden to literally throw you into the shower."_

_Madison pulls extremely hard on the blanket and successfully removes it from my grasp. I groan picking up my pillow and chucking it at my best friend. She catches it and glares at me evilly. I gulp and now I'm a lot more scared than I was before._

_"You done throwing a tantrum because this shit is not flying with me. You can't run away and be a baby. You were already doing that in LA so suck it up and do something."_

_I pout and my lip quickly quivers. She points at me with a stern finger. I whimper and sigh frustrated. "But I don't want to do anything. I just want to cry."_

_"Well you can't. I know you're sad Spencer I know things aren't now you want them to be but if you believe in your love for Ashley and you believe that it's real. That you two are real, you will overcome this. You two are bigger than this and lying is your bed feeling sorry for yourself does absolutely nothing."_

_I fall back onto my pillow-less mattress and cover my face._

_"I can try."_

_"Screw it."_

_"Ah Madison! Quit it." She doesn't listen to me as I try to block my pillow that she's hitting me with. "Alright! Alright I'm up."_

_I jump off my bed and slowly make my way to the bathroom, I quickly move faster once I hear her footsteps follow me. I take a very long shower and I'm thankful for the water that hits my face. My tears mix in easily with the water and my heart breaks as I let my mind wander to the summer. I clench my teeth and slam my fist against the tiles of the shower._

_I control my sobbing and catch my breath. I love Ashley but this needs to be done right. If we're really meant to be the way I think we are I have to let things work out on their own. I can't keep in contact with her. It'll make me this selfish person that I am not. I know I won't get over her but I can't pursue her either._

_I finish my shower and I debate putting on sweatpants and lazing about by apparently Madison has __picked out my outfit. I shake my head and pull on my jeans, shirt and lace up my sneakers._

_I look at my bed and shake my head. I walk out into the lounge area and find my best friend scribbling something into my notebook._

_"Did you really have to take the sheets off my bed?"_

_"I didn't want you to be tempted. Now sit down."_

_I sighed annoyed but grateful for Madison and her persistence to get me to a somewhat form of normalcy no matte how extreme her tactics. I sit on the arm chair and let my legs dangle off the armrest and cross my ands over my stomach. The notebook lands with a thud on my stomach._

_I growl as I lift the collection of papers. I scrunch my face in disgust. "Really? An itinerary? What the shit do I need this for?"_

_"Do not use that kind of language with me, you need something to do. You've got your gallery opening coming up. Have you chosen what pictures you want to exhibit?"_

_Shit, the greatest thing to happen to me and I forget about it._

_"No." I answer pathetically._

_"Mhm...get your shit together Carlin. Ashley wouldn't want you to not do well because you miss her."_

_Ten bucks say she would!_

_As if she heard me make the internal bet, my phone goes off. A part of me still wishes that it would be Lexy but I know that'll probably never happen. I stare at her name and ignore the call. If I give in I'll fall back onto my bed sheets or sheets._

_I look back at Madison's list of activities for me. "Madison classes don't start for like another two weeks."_

_"You should still figure out what books you need!"_

_"Ugh you're worse than my mother." I roll into the back of the chair and bury my face into the cushion._

_"Damn straight. I don't mind whooping your ass, now get up!"_

_I roll off the chair and push myself up using the coffee table to help me stand. Madison stands up as well __and she leads me towards the door. This is gonna suck._

_XXXX_

_"Uh Spencer where did you want this one?" I whip my head around and smile softly at the intern that was assigned to help me with my exhibit. It's a bit awkward to tell someone who is older than me what to do but she's been a sport about it._

_It's been two weeks and I haven't had a moments peace. As soon as I met with the curator of the gallery, showed him some of my work he wanted my stuff for his next exhibit which was only one week from the day we met. I had a whole room to myself and no new material to put in it._

_I spent the whole week shooting and haven't spoken to anyone. Between taking pictures, developing, and printing I haven't had time to breathe. Madison was feeding me while I was in my dark room, cause let's face it, if she hadn't I probably wouldn't have eaten at all._

_But in all that, I've barely talked to her and if I'm not talking to someone that lives in the same apartment as me I sure as hell wasn't taking calls. I got lost in what I love and I was zeroed in. I have ninety three unread texts, a full voicemail box, and even more missed calls. I don't read them, it hurts too much to even know I'm ignoring her. I have to stay focused._

_"Put that one on that wall over there. Thanks a lot April" She smiles hiding the small blush and carefully carries the small portrait to the white wall._

_It's two in the morning and I've been setting up all night. Getting the lighting perfect and the right placement of each photo to display the specific theme is a lot harder than I pictured. Doesn't help that I'm a perfectionist and change the placement every time I put one down. The heavy lifters come with my large portrait and I hear April gasp._

_"Wow..."_

_I smile and sigh contentedly. "Yeah."_

_I forgot how beautiful she was...is. My heart swells as I take in the old photo. Ashley sitting with her guitar the night we shot pictures of the album cover. I picked my favorites from that night, sent the __copies to my mom so she could give them to her producer friend for the band. I didn't want them to think I forgot about them. I wanted to keep my word at least in that retrospect. Photos were my love, my life, my art and I'm serious about it and I couldn't leave the job undone._

_This one is my most favorite, an extra close up of Ashley's face. The way her lips curve up as she smiles softly. The lights in the background slightly blurred out. The whole portrait in sepia; giving it an old fashion tint. Her eyes are sparkling and it's just right after I told her that I love the way she kisses me. I couldn't pass up that photo. There's so much love in her eyes when I revealed that truth._

_"Who is she?" April asks and I am not entirely sure how to answer that question._

_She's not my girlfriend. She's more than a friend, so I just shrug and look over at my assistant and answer truthfully._

_"The love of my life."_

_April smiles widely and squeals a little. Goodness don't do that. I just widen my eyes to share the little bit of excitement that I can muster up. She just laughs and gently brushes my arm. My forced smile falls as I look at the gesture._

_She sees my face and quickly steps back waving her hands nervously. "Oh no, no, no...No."_

_I just nod once. I think she's telling me no._

_"You're gorgeous, and funny and a total catch. I'd be lying if I said I wasn't interested but the way you look at that picture, I know that I have no chance in hell. No one does. I can only imagine how you look at her when she's in the same room."_

_My heart slows a little in relief and I look back as the delivery guys position the photo on the largest wall. I feel my phone buzz and I don't bother looking at who it is. Only one person would be calling me at two in the morning, mostly because the three-hour time difference._

_It stops buzzing and I sigh relenting and looking at the name that's been blinking on my screen for the past month._

_I miss her.  
__–  
I lay in bed going through my emails, the curator sending me a list of big names that may potentially want to buy my work. This is so I overwhelming and exciting and I only want to talk Ashley. She made this possible and I don't know how I could ever thank her. Ignoring her probably isn't the best way._

_I close out of my email and go to my voicemail._

_"Your mailbox is full. To listen to your messages press..." Not needing to know the drill I press one and listen to message after message._

_I get cozy in my bed as her raspy voice fills my ears. Along with forgetting how beautiful she was earlier I forgot how amazing her voice is. Her raspy fine fills my ear and I can't help but feel a peace wash over me._

_"I miss you Spencer. This is so stupid. We're supposed to be together. You know we are why are you fighting this haven't we done that all summer? I know you feel guilty I do too but I love you too much to let guilt keep me from you, please call me."_

_"To erase this message..."_

_I hesitate for a moment and decide to delete because there are so many more to listen to._

_"This sucks! Do you know how painful it is to hear your voicemail after every seventh ring? Yes seven I counted. I know it's pathetic and I probably should be catching some kind of hint by now but I'll do anything to get you back."_

_"Message deleted." I go to the next and though everything she's saying is making me choke up both at the fact that hearing her voice but more so the pain she's in._

_The very thing that will make us both feel better is the only thing I'm not doing. Talking to her would make me feel sooooo much better, but its like this; you know when you do something so stupid for so long that the only thing that makes sense is to continue doing said stupid thing? Ironically it makes no sense at all but yet you feel you're too far gone to do the right thing. That's where I'm at right now. I can make all this better but then again, I don't deserve to. I deserve these heart felt messages of pleas. __Asking me to take her back I shouldn't be listening to this I should be the one leaving them._

_"Please baby. I love you...I love you so much, just talk to me, lets figure this out. We can make this work, the hard part is over. Lets just be...please."_

_I end the call on my voicemail and drop the phone next to me. I let the tears fall from my eyes onto my pillow and sniffle like the pathetic mess I am. All this self loathing and self pity is so sad. I'm so sad I shouldn't even be allowed to be this sad. It's all my fault!_

_I feel my phone vibrate again. I don't bother to look because I know it's Ashley I'm beginning to wonder if she ever sleeps she's always calling me at different hours of the night. I look at her name on my screen as I count the rings._

_"Four...five...six...seven." It stops and two minutes later I get a notice. Missed call, one new voice message._

_I just close my screen and do the only thing that makes me feel nothing...sleep._

–

"So you seriously listened to all my messages and didn't feel the need to reply to any of them?" Ashley stops me, causing me to look up at her.

"I was being an idiot." I shrug.

"You can say that again." Ashley says quickly.

"Ah. I'm offended." I say and she smiles at me.

"You know I'm only kidding." She scoots closer to me, kissing my forehead. "Go ahead with the story." She nudges my shoulder.

"I don't think I'm gonna." I pout.

"Is today national Spencer pouting day? Cause you sure as heck are doing a lot of it."

"Is it working?" I turn to her, titling my head with a hopeful look.

"Not even a little." She shakes her head. "I'm immune now. That's what three months will-"

"Got it!" I cut her off quickly, she smiles and kisses me again. "Continuing."_  
__–_

_"Can I get a large coffee please?"_

_"Careful young lady, you don't want to confuse them with that over complicated order."_

_I sigh softly and turn around to my ex. "Carmen. I'd say its good to see you but then I'd be lying." I laugh softly to reassure her that I'm only kidding. Sort of. She places her hand on her heart and leans back dramatically._

_"Strong words Spence."_

_I just shrug as I move to the next counter to wait for my coffee. She follows me._

_"Aren't you gonna order?"_

_"You mean like order a coffee to drink with you?"_

_I roll my eyes._

_"No I mean order a coffee so you don't reveal the fact that you're stalking me and followed me in here."_

_She laughs but I'm serious. I felt like someone was following me earlier. Probably should start walking with Madison._

_Carmen goes to quickly order her drink and stands next to me again. My coffee is placed in front of me and I pick it up and walk over to the adjacent bar adding all my condiments._

_I'm in the middle of pouring my sugar into my coffee and Carmen waits patiently making sure not to break my concentration. I have a system don't judge me._

_"Still count to ten when you pour your sugar?" She asks with a soft smile and I can't help but smirk at remembering the fact that she knows things about me, things that Ashley hasn't gotten to learn yet. There I go missing her again. I lasted about ten minutes not missing her. The longest it's been yet. I'm not thrilled at the progress though._

_"It's the perfect number to stop at." She groans in understanding and she dresses her coffee._

_We grab a table by the window and sit awkwardly for a minute. I don't have anything to say to her. I haven't had anything to say to anyone in a long time. I don't know how to hold a discussion. All I want __to do is talk about Ashley and how crappy I feel despite all the good things happening._

_"So I saw your exhibit, not that I never thought so before, but it's really amazing, Spence."_

_"Thanks." I manage to say as I hold my cup to my lips and smile lightly before drinking it._

_"I heard the sepia of Ashley was causing quite the stir."_

_I grunt. She gives me a sad smile and I feel bad, she's trying I can't fault her for that. I sigh as I put the cup down on the table and wrap my hands on them warming up my palms. It's not cold outside just a bit brisk. New York in October has got to be one of the most beautiful things to see. It's got a feel about it that you can't get on the west coast._

_It's been two and a half months since I've left and I still haven't spoken to Ashley. Ignoring her is still as hard as its been the first day. Even harder now since she isn't as persistent. I'm gonna lose her and I'm not doing anything to stop it._

_"Yeah I've gotten a lot of great offers for that one but it's um... not for sale. It'll be on display for another couple of weeks and then the curator wants to switch things around."_

_"You'll still have a spot though?"_

_"Yeah just different work. So how are your classes?"_

_Look I asked a question and it had nothing to do with Ashley. Yay me? I feel my lip quiver as I think about her. Focus on Carmen Spencer._

_"How about you?"_

_Crap totally missed that._

_"Ah well you know, hectic."_

_She chuckles nodding. I don't know if that answered the question. Her face changes though and I don't like the look she's giving me._

_"I've been watching you."_

_I knew it! Stalker! Someone blow a stranger danger whistle!_

_"Weirdo." I laugh nervously more because you can't let crazy people know you're scared._

_Now where are the emergency exits in this place? I subtly look around, searching for them when I hear Carmen chuckle._

"_Stop searching for the exits Spence. I'm not a crazy stalker. I just mean whenever we are in the same room I see you from a distance, when you think no one is looking I can tell you're sad. Is everything okay?"_

_I just shake my head as I indulge in one of my many tricks. "I'm fine."_

_Denial._

_Carmen looks at me with an arched brow and I break easily. I'm so weak! I tell her everything that's happened and it's like a release. Talking to someone that isn't directly involved just brings so much peace to my chaotic thoughts._

_She just listens, no interruption, no threats of beating me down, telling me to suck it up, or promises of things being okay as if she knows the future._

_"Wow Spence, that's heavy."_

_"I know and I just... miss her so much I just, it's not fair to anyone. It's like being with her is like saying what we did was right not being with her is close to death. __I'm not being dramatic either it's so painful I swear if it weren't for Madison I'm pretty sure I would've been a corpse in my bed right now."_

_"She's a good friend."_

_"The best."_

_"Maybe that's why she is in your life now. Going through what you went through with Lexy maybe it was meant to happen that way. When you and Madison found each other, that was meant to happen too, she's everything Lexy isn't or couldn't ever have been for you."_

_"Don't make me the victim I'm the one that stole her girlfriend."_

_"If you think about it Spencer, if she was able to be stolen, then she was never truly hers in the first place."_

_"So were you never mine, you cheated."_

_"No my act was physical and a lapse in judgment, but when it's emotional..." She pauses shaking her head and smiling. "When strong emotions like what you two have for each other. There's no doubt that Ashley was never Lexy's. Being emotionally destructive isn't going to make Lexy happy and even if it were, would you want a friend that's happy only because you aren't?"_

_I look out the window as I think. I don't remember Carmen ever being this insightful. She's probably taking like a philosophy class or something this semester._

_"No."_

_"Exactly and I know you. If the circumstance were different you'd want Lexy to be happy even if you weren't."_

_Well I did say that I'd rather me hurt than Lexy._

_"Stop being logical you're making me feel better."_

_"Well maybe it's time you should. I also think you should try and talk to Ashley." I watch Carmen stand up and she stops next to me and leans down to give me a kiss on the cheek. " Smile Spencer. You're even more beautiful when you do."_

_I blush softly and watch Carmen walk away. I release a heavy sigh and lean back in my chair sipping my coffee. Say I am ready to fix things. Where would I even start?_

–

_"Madison she hasn't called, emailed, or messaged me in ten days!"_

_"Maybe she didn't pay her bill." My best friend shrugs as we walk into the building for our first class of the day. She looks at her phone again for the billionth time that day._

_"Don't be stupid and why do you keep looking at your phone?"_

_"Do I ask you about your life?"_

_"All the time!" I retort and she doesn't even gripe back as she furiously texts. "Can your listen to me for five seconds it's like this past week you haven't even been here at all. Leaving the room to talk on the phone as if I never heard you and Aiden have a phone conversation."_

_She smacks her lips and her face scrunches up in disapproval. "Aiden is not the only person I talk to."_

_"Besides me yes he is no one is brave enough to be your friend." She's still not listening. "Madison!"_

_"Aye, chill woman. I heard you. I've gotta go, I'll see you tomorrow morning, I'm gonna spend the night with Aide okay."_

_"Worst conversation ever!" I yell at her and she turns to flash me a smile as she walks out of the room, shutting the door behind her. Ugh!_

_The next morning Madison shows up at our apartment and we walk to class like normal. But there's nothing normal about this morning. I could feel it. I knew something was going to happen and the moment I saw her face, I knew... everything would be okay. _

–

"Did you just add that last part for my benefit?" Ashley questions with a smirk.

I smile and shrug at my girlfriend. "Maybe."

"Well either way..." She moves closer, wrapping me up in her arms. "You have no idea how much I love you Spencer Carlin." She whispers in my ear.

"I think I've got a clue." I rebuttal.

"No." She pulls back, looking me in my eyes. "You don't. You couldn't possibly." She shakes her head.

"Everything okay?"

"Those eleven days of not calling, texting or emailing... they were the worst ten days of my life. Madison told me how much you were freaking out, I hated it. I didn't want you thinking I'd forgotten about you because there wasn't a second of one day that I didn't think about you Spence." She tells me and I can't help but smile.

"I'm glad to see we were on the same page."

"Oh you thought about you all day too?" She quirks a brow and smiles.

I lightly nudge her. "You know what I mean." She shrugs and I stand up from the bed. "We're so late." I say when I glance over at the time.

She pulls me back down to the bed by my hand and I land on top of her. "Let's just stay here. I'd rather spend my last night in New York here in this bed with you than go out anyways."

"As much as I would love that..." I pause, leaning down to kiss her. "We can't. All of our friends are waiting at the restaurant for us." I lift my self off of her then hold out a hand to help her up from the bed. She reluctantly takes my hand and I pull her up to her feet.

"Fine. But we're not staying the whole night." She pouts and I kiss it away.

"Never intended on it."

–

"Ayyeeeeee." Everyone shouts when they see Ashley and I enter the restaurant.

"Look who finally decided to join us." Madison pipes up. You know what! Who asked you Madison?!

"Spencer was telling me a story." Ashley says simply as we take a seat at the table with our friends.

"Yeah a naked story." Madison says unnecessarily.

"Okay Madison don't think just because we're out in public I won't-"

"Spencer honey." Ashley cuts me off, placing a hand on my thigh. That always calms me. Madison stares at me, waiting for me to finish my sentence. Yeah, I'm good. I've got my sense again. Thanks Ashley. I purse my lips and shake my head.

"Never mind."

"That's what I thought." Madison smiles before taking a sip of her water.

"Good evening again, are we ready to order now?" I turn around to see a male waiter smiling at us. I guess they really have been waiting for us.

"Could you give us a couple minutes?" Ashley turns to him and asks him politely.

"Certainly." He nods once before walking away.

"Spence, how you holding up?" Andrew asks.

"Way to bring it up Andrew!" Ashley says quickly, shaking her head at her friend.

"What?" Andrew asks holding his hands up.

"Tonight isn't about the fact that Ashley won't be around for the next three months you dope." Mikey says slapping his friend in the back of his.

"Ow." Andrew hand quickly shoots up to the back of his as he rubs it. The table chuckles at the pair.

"You'll have to excuse Andrew Spence, he never went to—"

"Watch it Joey." Andrew narrows his eyes at his friend.

"Touchy." Joey holds his hands up and I can't help but look around and smile at my friends as everyone breaks off into their normal banter. Andrew, Joey, Stacy, Mikey, Madison, Aiden and Carmen... yes even Carmen, we're kinda friends now I guess; have all come to celebrate the success of Serenity. I can't believe how incredibly lucky I am. This past summer has taught me many things, but I think the most important thing it taught me is that; love... real unadulterated genuine love, you can't escape it or pretend like it doesn't exist because no matter what it'll always find you. And the people that are meant to stay in your life will always find a way to do so.

–

Chapter Title- The Script- Breakeven


	42. Epilogue Part 1: Begin Again

So here is part one of the epilogue as promised. and to those of you that were wondering, yes, I took your words in mind when I added the previous chapter to the story. I'd written the previous ending way before ever finishing the story so I kinda had already had it planned out how it would end but then things changed along the way with the story and I think the new ending reflects those changes. Anyways, the epilogue will be in four parts. I'm hoping to get part two up by tomorrow. Let me know what you guys think.

Enjoy!

* * *

**Epilogue Part 1- Begin Again**

_'You are cordially invited to attend the union of Phyllis Williams and George Radin on Sunday, July 7th at 1pm.' _I smile as I read the invitation for about the tenth time. I couldn't be happier for Ms. Williams. She'd said that this past summer had been the best time she'd had in years. That we'd brought love and happiness into her home once again.

Little did we know, Ms. Williams had a love brewing of her own. She'd meet George on a trip to a garden store to pick up supplies for the photo shoot. He was the store manager and did everything in his power to make sure Ms. Williams had everything she needed before left. She said she was a little apprehensive to talk to George because of her late husband and how connected she still was to him. But I'm happy that Ms. Williams took a chance on love.

Much like me I guess... cause I couldn't be happier. I've found the most wonderful girl in the world and I don't know how I survived the first nineteen years of my life without her to be honest.

"Baby, are you done packing? We're gonna be late!" I smile at how frantic she gets sometimes, as I stuff the invitation in the front pocket of the camera bag.

"Yeah I'm ready!" I shout back.

"What were you doing?" She asks as she comes in the kitchen, kissing me on my cheek.

"Just thinking." I shake my head and smile.

"Well come on, you can think on the plane. We gotta hurry or we're gonna miss our flight." I nod as she grabs the camera bag from my hand and lifts the handle on her suitcase to roll it.

"Spencer." I call to my girlfriend with a smile. She stops walking and turns to face me.

"Hmm?"

"Slow down. We're fine." I walk over and kiss her sweetly on the lips. "We've got three hours." I point out. She rolls her eyes and smiles.

"You're right." She nods. "I'm just nervous I guess."

I narrow my eyes and scrunch my brows at her. "Why are you nervous Spence?"

"It's just..." She sighs and places her camera bag on the counter. "It's the first time I'm gonna see Lexy since last summer and I just... I don't how this is gonna go. I don't know if she's-"

"I get it." I nod, wrapping her up in my arms. "Listen." I pull her over to our couch to sit down. "I know it's gonna be hard to see Lexy, but it's been almost ten months. I doubt that Lexy is still holding a grudge for this long." I offer weakly, because honestly I don't know how Lexy will be when we go back to California. Her and I have talked occasionally, about my music career and the band, but I guess it's different for her and Spencer because of the nature of their relationship. I was just a girlfriend, but Spencer... Spencer was like a sister to her. So I'm sure _that_ betrayal isn't as easy to forgive and I know that I'm partly to blame for that and I feel terrible. I should have just broken up with Lexy when I knew that I was falling in love with Spencer but it wasn't that easy. Lexy was pretty much the perfect girlfriend, I had no reason to leave her. I don't know what I was thinking. I loved things about her and how she made me feel but I don't think I ever loved her.

"You think so?" Spencer looks up at me with hopeful eyes.

I give her a small smile before leaning forward and kissing her softly on the forehead. "I do." I nod once. She forces a smile, trying to believe my words but I know she knows it's not gonna be that easy. "Come on, let's get out of here. I'm sure Madison and Aiden are having a fit right now from the wait." I tell her with a smile. She nods as we both stand up from the couch. We grab our suitcases and head out the door. Back to California for the first time _together_ since last summer.

–

"Ugh I can't believe I am going back to that hell hole. Seriously, why couldn't Ms. Williams have a location wedding…like Florida!" Madison declares as we stand on the security line at the airport.

I laugh along with Spencer and Aiden but Madison is apparently serious. I've learned her moods very quickly because she's the scariest person if you catch her during the wrong time of day. Plus her version of the 'hurt my best friend and I'll kill you' speech could make Don Corleone shake in his Italian loafers.

"I wouldn't consider Florida a location wedding or extremely romantic Mads." Spencer declares with a tilt of her head and I just want to kiss her. So I do. I wrap my arms around her waist and kiss her neck softly and she turns to look at me with a soft blush. I lock eyes with her and easily get transferred to the first moment I ever saw her. I feel her place a soft kiss on my lips and turn back towards our friends, but my mind wanders to Serenity's gig in New York at the party that I first fell for the love of my life.

_I watch as she gets pulled closer to the brunette and their bodies almost mesh together, as I sing the words newly written on the plane ride here. I don't know what came over me, I just felt the urge to write. I lose myself in her so easily and I sing the song in a way I've never sang before as I sing to her. I see her looking at me and a smile tugs at my lips. I close my eyes and sway from side to side to the music imagining that I am the brunette that gets to dance with this blonde that has easily grabbed my attention. _

_The band hits the last few notes of the song and I announce to the crowd that we'll be breaking for a few minutes. _

_I make my way over to the bar after quickly going over the set list for the second half. When I get to the bar I ask for a water and I hear another order for water to my right. I look at the blonde that had my attention during 'As The Rush Comes' and I walk a little closer to her. _

"_Not many people order water at a college party." I tell her with a sly smirk. She counters saying I have water and I admire her sass._

_I take her in as we fall into easy conversation. I admit that I was watching her because she's the kind of girl that should know when they've caught your eye. She's breathtaking. Even more beautiful than my girlfriend back home and I say that with conviction. _

_I hear my band do a quick tuning as they get back on stage and I reluctantly tell her goodbye. If I wasn't getting paid to play I could stand here all night and talk to her. She tells me goodbye and then says my name and everything in me buzzes at how good it sounds leaving her lips. I don't know what comes over me but I quickly ask her._

"_You're staying for the next set though right?"_

_I try to play it cool as I walk towards the stage and she just nods. I'm a little disappointed that her voice doesn't grace my ears again but I'll take what I can get. As I get on stage and play the next song I can't help but stare at her for the rest of the night wondering exactly who this girl is..._

"Baby where'd you go?" Spencer gently squeezes my hand as we practically strip down to nothing to go through security.

"The way they got me taking stuff off, I should be getting paid." Madison says, then says something in Spanish.

We all laugh as well as a few bystanders that overhear Madison's comment. She's a barrel of laughs today. I know it's because she knows Spencer's nervous about going back. As much as she dislikes Lexy, her love for Spencer will trump everything else. She's keeping her humor on full blast to ease Spencer's tension and I'm grateful for it.

We walk through the metal detector without hassle, get our stuff together and head towards our gate. Aiden and Madison leave their belongings with us as they walk to grab a quick bite and I rest my arm on Spencer's chair. She's bouncing her knee and I look at her with a raised brow.

"Spence, calm down."

"I'm calm!" She says in a high-pitched voice easily indicating that she's not. She groans and drops her face in her hands. "Okay I'm not calm."

"Could've fooled me." I answer with a small laugh and she pouts. I love when she does, it's the cutest face in the world. I give her a quick peck and she beams into a smile.

"Thank you."

I just nod and her eyes drift away from mine and I know something's on her mind. "Want to tell me what you're thinking about?"

She shakes her head no quickly and I turn to give her my full attention. I place a hand on her thigh giving it a light squeeze, softly urging her to talk to me.

"So…okay. I was thinking maybe…" She lets out a quick breath before starting again. "Do you think maybe we should like... lie low if we see Lexy? Maybe keep our displays of affection to a minimum, you know just to spare her feelings. I don't want her to be reminded of everything I put her through and hating me all over again."

I cup her cheek gently and smile. "No."

"What?!" She's surprised by my answer and little unhappy with it as well.

"I love you Spencer. I already had to hide the fact that I was in love with you once and I'm not going to do that again." I shake my head as she stares at me intently. I clear my throat and smile at my girlfriend before I start again. "We _both _put Lexy through a lot and that wasn't fair but I love you too much to pretend that I don't. I won't do that for anyone."

She looks down at her lap and I see a smile forming on her lips. She nods and mumbles out an 'okay' I place a kiss on her cheek.

The time for boarding quickly approaches and we all clamber towards the gate anxious to get on the plane and leave. Well everyone except Madison, who Aiden had to drag out of the bathroom. And yes, I mean he literally had to go in the bathroom and get her out.

We settle into our seats and as I place my things, then Spencer's in the overhead compartment. I look down at her and smile as I motion to pass her to get to the window seat, remembering the first time this happened.

"_Fancy seeing you here." _

_I couldn't believe my luck. Twice in a row I'm encountering the blonde from the night before whose name I couldn't forget even if I tried. It suits her oddly and it adds to her addictive personality. For the second time we easily fall into conversation and I want to learn everything there is to know about her. Fate is definitely playing a key part in our run ins, being this close to each other for this long can't just be a coincidence. I try not to dwell on that though because I'm going home to my girlfriend of almost eight months and even though these next five hours, I want to spend getting to know this blue eyed angel, the chances of me actually seeing her again are…slim to none. _

"_So that Gatsby is he really great?" I say then mentally berate myself. Really Ashley... you went there?_

"_The greatest." _

_I smirk and I can tell she's upset with herself for that comeback. I can't help the chuckle that escapes me. I'm trying to talk to her but she's really bad at keeping conversation, I tell her this and she says that it may just be the fact that she doesn't want to talk to me. Doubtful. I know that comes off as cocky…but hey when you got it…it's hard not to be. _

"_Oh you want to talk to me."_

"_How can you be so sure?"_

"_Do you normally remember people you don't want to talk to?" _

_I know I've got her stumped at least I thought I did. She leans closer to me and I freeze. I'm holding my breath and most likely about to pass out. I've got an image to uphold here though so I quickly gather myself before I counter. She begins to flirt with me and it's cute. She's got the whole awkward yet adorable thing going on and usually that's not my type but it makes her more attractive. Our banter is cut short, but the thought of her telling me she's worth the wait can't be left unanswered._

"_I'm sure you are." I tell her and I believe every single word that leaves my mouth. _

_The captain announces our flight information and I'm caught off guard as I feel her grab my hand. She apologizes and I offer my hand to her, plus some delightful information on the statistics of plane deaths. That's probably not the best thing to tell someone that's afraid of flying. I make up for it by slipping my hand into hers and I melt at the soft touch._

A sharp intake of breath pulls me from my thoughts and I look over at my girlfriend. The look on her face tells me that her fear of flying hasn't dissipated although she's been home every single break from school this year. I wonder how she got on with out me those times?

"I'm right here and I promise I won't let anything happen to you." I tell her as the plane begins to roll down the runway. She looks at me gratefully and I lean in and kiss her. I remember the promise I made to her all those months ago and now we're here again, exactly the way fate intended it.

I gently stir Spencer awake as the plane taxis down the tarmac and sigh because she is just so damn cute. She groggily awakes and can't help but kiss her cheek because she won't let me kiss on the lips. She's such a girl like that, afraid of bad breath even after all of this time we've been together.

"We're here babe."

She groans slouching in her seat pulling my arm to go around her. I laugh lightly squeezing her waist. "I'm too tired to move."

I lean into her seat and onto her kissing her temple. "If you get up we can get In and Out." I have to move quickly from how fast she moves. Burgers always get her moving. I swear they are her weakness.

I grab my things and we all straggle down the aisle. Once we get out of the plane and enter the terminal Spencer announces that we are going to In and Out first. I swear this girl thinks with her stomach sometimes. Madison groans but I know she's a little excited she's just trying to keep her hate for LA as obvious as possible. She walks ahead of me and she drops her sweater she was wearing on the plane. I call out to her and she turns with a smile.

"_You dropped this." I hand her the book she was reading on the plane and I'm grateful that I get to keep her in front of me a few seconds longer. This is the last time I'll ever see her I bet and I don't mind the few seconds I have left. I tell her maybe I'll see her around knowing that I won't, but wishful thinking right. _

_I watch her walk away and sigh as I turn back towards the other direction to go to my car. I send a mass text to my band to let them know about the last minute party we were just hired to play at. They caught a later flight, but I had to come in earlier to talk to the host of the party. Being the leader is hard work but I love it. They're like my family and we're all really close. I text my girlfriend Lexy and tell her that we'll be playing at the party. She's such a sweet girl and I care about her a lot, but sometimes I get this feeling like she's not my soul mate, like there's someone else out there for me. You ever get that feeling?_

_Anyways, Lexy's been going on and on about her best friend, so this girl better be freaking amazing with the amount she talks about her. _

_She won't tell me the name of the girl though…something about adding to the mystery. It sounds like she's setting me up for a blind date not meeting her best friend. As I get into my car I feel my phone vibrate and I smile as her name appears. Reading the text she lets me know she's dragging her best friend out against her will. _

_I laugh because Lexy is one to get what she wants. She's hard to say no to. I've come to know that for myself quite quickly. I reply back to her and drop my phone in the passenger seat. I pull out of my spot, out of the garage and into the LA sun. Man I love this place. _

_Time is not on my side because before I know it, it's time to head over to the beach house for sound check. I text everyone to make sure they are on their way and like clockwork they reply back to me. I love that they are as serious as I am about this. To get signed would be a dream come true and even though my dad has all the connections to get us there I'd rather do it from the bottom up on my own. Lexy texts me that she's here with her best friend and I'd love to see her and meet the girl she's been gabbing about for the past eight months, but I'm about to go on. Sending a sad message declining her invitation to join them for the moment I turn to my band and we pump each other up as the band before us finishes. They're not the greatest but they've got a good vibe about them. _

_We walk up on stage and stand in our respectful spots. Mikey clicks off and we do what we were born to do. I close my eyes easily getting lost in the music, the cheers of the crowd only add to my euphoria. I know my bands soaking it all in as well as they lose themselves in their instruments. _

_"And I wish that we could see if we could be something. Yeah I wish that we could see if we could be something."_

_I finish and open my eyes. I wave to the amazing crowd and smile as my band walks off stage I scan the crowd for Lexy but my eyes are drawn to an extremely familiar face. It hits even harder as I see Lexy lean over and whisper something in her ear._

_No. Way._

_This cannot be happening. I walk off the stage in a daze and I try to compose myself. I don't want to have to explain to Lexy why I look like I've seen a ghost. I might as well have. This is weird right? Seriously three times in two days? This is extremely weird. It's worse because with my luck I know I'm about to be introduced to Lexy's best friend and it's going to be Spencer because that's how weird this situation is right now. _

_Just chill out Ashley it'll be fine. Just be normal. It was just some harmless flirting, nothing to go crazy about, just be cool. I sigh and notice Lexy approaching me and at the same time my band scurries away. I roll my eyes at them, they honestly are really bad at keeping the fact that they don't like her hidden from me. _

"_Baby!" I smile as I finally reach Lexy, she greets me with a kiss then pulls me into a hug. She sure is affectionate, it's cute really. As I hold her I lock eyes with Spencer, she looks like she's about to be sick. I lose her gaze when she looks down and I miss her eyes already. I sigh and pull back from the embrace and watch as Lexy waves her hand in front of Spencer's face. It's funny how she responds, I can't stop smiling as I watch Spencer interact with my girlfriend. Lexy introduces us unnecessarily and I reach my hand to shake Spencer's and once our fingertips touch we both get shocked. _

_Weird…like everything else about this circumstance._

_We try again and I marvel at how well our hands fit together. My mind quickly flashes back to when I held her hand on the plane and the thought dawns on me that I actually don't want to let go. When something fits so perfectly together what's the point of separating them. It's like Spencer's hand was always meant to be in mine. I'm taken though, and I respect and love Lexy and I would never intentionally want to hurt her. _

_Lexy leaves us to get drinks and I countdown to the freak out that I know Spencer's going to have. I just had a mini one myself so it's understandable. I mean the odds of us seeing each other were pretty slim but apparently we made it right through that margin. _

_I try to be smooth, I'm not sure why, when I try to ask her what the chances are of us seeing each other again but she butts in. _

"_Are you fucking kidding me?"_

_Is it bad that I'm finding her hot right now? Girlfriend!_

_Right._

_I try to get her to explain but she interrupts me again. Okay I'm going to need her to stop doing that, how am I supposed to explain if she keeps cutting me off? She points out the obvious that I didn't mention I was in a relationship. To be honest I didn't feel the need to. The flirting was harmless. At least it was meant to be harmless. I enjoyed it but who flirts and doesn't enjoy. That's the whole point of flirting. Plus I never thought I'd see her again so you see where I'm going with this?_

_Spencer keeps flipping out and she looks really angry. I try to calm her down, tell her not to cause a scene and she cuts me off…again. Seriously! _

"_Out of all the fucking people in LA!" She shouts and I look around to make sure Lexy isn't coming because I don't want to have to explain a situation that doesn't need explaining it's not a big deal. Just a coincidence…or maybe it's that fate thing I was talking about before but really what are the chances?_

_She's rambling and I laugh because it's the cutest freaking thing I've ever seen. _

_She starts to speak again and I'm annoyed at the fact that I haven't gotten a word in so it's my turn to cut her off. I explain that she was just a stranger on a plane, the flirting was harmless and that I didn't think my life needed to be gone through with a fine tooth comb. She seems to calm down a bit and I'm glad because Lexy comes with our drinks and begins to comment on the band. She's cute at how she hates every other band that's not mine and though I find it adorable it doesn't beat Spencer's rambling five seconds before. _

"There are my girls!" I smile at Paula and laugh at the groan that comes from my girlfriend.

"Be nice." I whisper to her and she does a raspberry. My girlfriend, the grown up ladies and gentlemen. Paula wraps me into a hug and it's nice to have a normal version of a mother though I'm sure Spencer would debate me on that topic but Paula's been pretty amazing if it weren't for her I would've missed Spencer leaving and I wouldn't have gotten a final goodbye or should I say see you later because there was no way in hell I was letting her get away. Not after everything we've been through.

"It's so good to see you guys again." Paula says pulling us all into a big group hug. Spencer groans as she pulls back from her mother.

"Mom, Mads, Aiden and I were just here like a month ago for spring break."

"Has it been that long? Goodness I don't know how I lasted so long."

"I know I keep telling her she has to come more often." Madison pipes in with a smirk and I laugh internally because I do not want to endure the Spencer smolder because if looks could kill Madison would be dead right now.

"You don't even like LA!" Spencer shouts as we all enter the house. Aiden and I are smart enough not to get in the middle of the best friends' bickering. We are both more than used to it by now.

"Well Ashley how've you been?" Paula turns to me and asks. I smile warmly at the woman I've come to love so much.

"I've been great Mrs. C, we just got back from tour a few months ago and we've just been in the studio cutting the album and doing small signings."

"Life of a superstar." Paula smiles and places a loving hand on my shoulder.

"Stop being creepy mom." Spencer whines. I chuckle and shake my head at my girlfriend.

"Oh hush honey." Paula says as she ushers all of us in and continues to drill us with questions, I know Spencer is getting annoyed but I just wrap my arms around her and she melts into me. I lace our fingers together and she brings our hands up to her lips kissing them softly. I'm so in love with this girl and I knew I was in trouble from the very first night we spent together.

_The three of us are gathered on the bed Lexy and I share and she's running off group activities for the night. She's a bit too excited and Spencer looks like she could use a little sleep. She still looks beautiful though. I hear something about s'mores and I need to cut in because uh no. _

"_Maybe you should calm down." I suggest with a small laugh because she's way too excited for how late it is and I break out into a smile as Spencer raises her hand agreeing with me. So freaking cute…who raises their hand anymore? _

_I add to Spencer's reasons for calling an early night along with using the pet name makes me crazy but I know using it will allow me to get my way. I call her Lexy bear and I notice the look Spencer is giving me. Trust me Spence it hurts you as much as it hurts me. _

_I really do need to get some rest though because I have to meet with photographers for the band and when I mention this Lexy suggests Spencer and she looks like she wants to say no. I hope she doesn't because I really want to spend some time with her. I can't help it everything she's doing from her awkward flirting, to her freak out, to her cuteness is drawing me in. _

_I have to pretend I don't know anything about her though so I ask "You take pictures?"_

_I have to hold back the snort at Spencer's face because she's looking at me like I'm absolutely ridiculous right now. Of course I knew she takes pictures but Lexy doesn't know I know. Or something like that. _

_My girlfriend goes on some more about how amazing Spencer and I'm quickly agreeing because without even trying she's got me hooked. Lexy is doing all the talking but I'm only watching Spencer as if she were the only person in the room. I suggest to Lexy that Spencer should talk since she would be the one taking the photos. I apparently have no rank in anything since she completely dismisses my suggestion and basically tells Spencer she'll do it. I can't help but marvel at how patient this girl is. I try not to get too excited when she says yes but at the same time I don't want her to feel pressured if she doesn't want to. I wouldn't want to make her feel uncomfortable in any way. _

"_Only if you're sure Spencer."_

_I show sincerity as slightly lift my brows and soften my eyes because despite the way I presented myself at the beach party I really am a nice person. I feel bad that I lead Spencer on but then again maybe I didn't. I don't normally flirt like that but the way we just fell into conversation the way we were flirting was like second nature. It couldn't be helped and even though I kept saying it was harmless the more I look at her, take her in, spend time with her, the more I realize that it may not have been. _

_After the decision is made Lexy tries to get us to make s'mores again. I remind her that she has a job to get to with a boss that hates her so she should probably get some sleep. After a lot of coaxing from Spencer and I, realize I'm not tired at all. Spencer leaves the room and I tell Lexy I'll be back. _

"_Spencer wait up." I see her shoulders drop as she sighs and she turns around. I know she's probably be mad at me but I'm bored. "Are you really going to sleep right now?" I flash her my nose crinkling smile hoping it'll do the trick and it does once she tells me no. _

"_I just didn't want to make s'mores." I laugh because this girl is quite the comedian, she laughs with me and I feel a flutter in my stomach. Huh._

_I suggest maybe watch some television, even if it is in the middle of the night something has to be on._

_Nothing is on but that doesn't really seem to be an issue as Spencer and I easily fall into a banter that has quickly become normal to us. We're bickering over television shows now and I swear we share the same brain because everything I like she seems to like. Is that strange to be so in tune with someone you just met? Or is that really fate? I feel my heart growing fonder of her as she tells me she wrote a letter to Shonda Rhimes asking to marry her brain. She's so cute I can't contain it. _

_Her facial expressions especially because when I did my little 'I'm probably falling in love' and left her hanging for a minute I swear she almost passed out on me thinking I'd say her. Not like I really know what being in love feels like. _

_I'm not there with Lexy, I mean I love her but something's missing. If I had to guess what being in love felt like though I'd really have to say that it should feel a lot like how I'm feeling now. Because as Spencer tells me about herself I have the desire to learn more, there doesn't seem to be enough information on Spencer in my brain right now. It's easy, it comfortable, and most of all spending time with her feels right. Like it's something I'm supposed to be doing at this very moment. _

_We share a laugh and it grows quiet my eyes automatically lock with hers and I get lost. The blue is hypnotizing and I feel myself getting drawn in. I can't look away nor do I want to. She looks away and I feel a bit of sadness flood over me. I quickly recover as I ask her another question. _

"_What's your favorite color?" I'm hoping the question will make her look up at me again and because I miss the way I feel when she looks at me. _

"_Black."_

_Seriously!_

"_Mine too." I answer softly because she's still not looking at me, at this point the fact that our favorite color is the same doesn't surprise me, we've got everything else in common. I'm just disappointed she would rather look at the floor than at me. I stare at her hoping my gaze will tell her something or maybe possibly ask her what's been on my mind since I left her at the airport. Maybe her eyes will explain why I've been thinking about her, why my mind wanders to her, why even though I've got other stuff going on I'm wonder what she's doing, but most importantly why do I have this overwhelming urge to be near her when I barely know her._

_She says my name and the flutter in my stomach that appeared when she laughed is even stronger when she says my name. Like she was destined to be the only one to ever say it, she starts to tell me she can't but I don't want to hear the rest of that statement. _

"_I wrote a new song earlier." I quickly stop any chance for her to finish what she wants to say. "Wanna hear it?" She tells me the time and I can't help but smile at her. I'm sure she's confused with how random I am. I try to make her point out what the problem is but there isn't one. Once Lexy is asleep, she's asleep. Like bear during hibernation sleep. She laughs at my analogy and snorts her hand shoots up to cover her mouth and I can't help the laugh that escapes me because along with everything else Spencer does, that was the cutest thing ever. I tell her so and she gets shy on me. I want to take her into my arms and hold her that's how adorable she is. Our eyes meet again and the attraction is so palpable that words are useless. Everything in me is buzzing as I look at her, look into her as she lets me in and I do the same. I can't explain it and I think that's why it feels so good. The unexplainable is always the best part of life…of love. She breaks our connection shaking her head as if she's trying to shake everything off…shake me off but it's too late for me. I've already absorbed her in and I've become addicted. I'm a little worried though that she doesn't want this connection that we have, maybe she doesn't want anything to do with me and she's just tolerating me because of Lexy._

"_You sure you want to do the shoot for us? I mean I know Lex put you on the spot…" _

_She lifts her hand to cut me off and reassures me that it's okay. We're back to silence. I really hope we don't have too many of these because it's starting to get uncomfortable and uncomfortable doesn't suit Spencer and I. I lick my lips as I try to figure out what to say next and as if she reads my mind Spencer reminds me of the song I mentioned earlier. _

_I grab my guitar and I release a sigh before I start to play. The song just came to me before sound check. My heart sort of took over my brain and I produced this. I didn't realize until now that she's the reason I wrote this song. _

_I look up at her to tell her and as I sing and we have this silent conversation with our eyes. She's understanding everything that I'm telling her because I need her to know. I need her to understand because it's confirming what I am quickly realizing. _

_"One of the things that I want to say just aren't coming out right. I'm tripping on words. __You've got my head spinning. I don't know where to go from here. 'Cause it's you and me and all of the people with nothing to do. Nothing to prove. And it's you and me and all other people. And I don't know why, I can't keep my eyes off of you."_

_I've got it bad for my girlfriend's best friend. _

_I keep singing and she keeps watching and it's like the first time we locked eyes. It's a stars and moons aligning type of situation between Spencer and I and I want to stop playing and kiss her. I swear I see the same look in her eyes. I see her eyes dart towards my guitar and I'm hoping she'll rip it from my hands. I finish the song strumming the final chord and lock eyes again. I honestly don't ever want them to see anything else but Spencer's eyes. It would really be a disservice to them if they look at anything else. _

_She tells me likes it and I tell her I'm glad. I muster up the courage to tell her what it's about but apparently the universe doesn't think it's the right time to be disclosing that type of information because Lexy comes out of the room to tell me to come to bed. Oh right, I forgot about the fact that I had a girlfriend, it's just that when I'm with Spencer, nothing else exists to me. I don't have that with Lexy. _

_I explain why I'm up and Lexy unnecessarily reminds me that Spencer is her best friend. I reluctantly leave but not before telling Spencer goodnight. I walk up the stairs glancing back at Spencer her face is in her hands and I know exactly how she feels. This situation is completely fucked up. Lexy grabs my hand and leads me to bed. _

_Her hand doesn't fit perfectly like Spencer's. We wordlessly get into bed and I try to close my eyes but all I see are Spencer's blue ones. They remain there because even though I'm tired my mind is too focus in my girlfriend's best friend and wondering if she's thinking about me the same way I'm thinking about her. _

"Dinner was amazing Mrs. C." I tell her as I help her clean off the table.

"Aw thank you Ashley." She smiles warmly. "Will you all be staying over tonight or-"

"We're gonna stay at Ashley's mom, I told you this already." Spencer cuts Paula off.

"Well I just thought maybe you'd change your mind." Paula drops her head as she places the dishes in the sink.

"Oh no, you're not getting me with that fake sadness. I know you, remember!" Spencer scolds her mom. Paula head pops up quickly and there's a smile on her face. Oh my God! That little sneak! She had me fooled.

"Okay." Paula shrugs and turns back to the sink. "It was worth a try."

"Oh Paula you're gooooood!" I tell her in disbelief. She only chuckles.

"Are we ready to get out of here?" Spencer asks, standing up from the table. We all nod. "Mom tell dad that I'll be by tomorrow to see him." Paula nods.

"Will do."

–

"Oh my God I missed this place so much!" Madison says as she flops down on my couch, kicking off her shoes.

"Well make yourself at home." I throw out and she tilts her head to look at me.

"Don't mind if I do." She replies sarcastically.

A smile spreads across my face as I think of everything that led us here. I think about how Spencer was the first person I ever brought here. The only person I ever wanted to bring here. Spencer's the only person I've done a lot of things with.

_I bite my lip as I pace in front of the spare room Spencer is staying in and I hear her talking on the phone. She sounds frustrated and I hesitate knocking on the door. My head jerks back as I hear a muffled scream and I don't like that fact that whatever is going on between us is stressing her out this much._

_I sigh and run a hand through my hair. I don't want her to feel like that because of me, whenever she's around me. I can't let there be any awkwardness between us. I enjoy her company way too much. If I'm honest with myself I enjoy her too much. That can be a problem._

_I get over the fact my quick growing interest in Spencer may be a possible problem and knock on the door._

"_Just a second."_

_I smirk as she rushes whoever she is talking to off the phone. I can't help but laugh as she grows annoyed with the person. I hear her feet as they quickly scurry across the floor towards the bathroom and I lean against the wall as I wait._

_Once the door swings open I straighten myself up and smile at how cute she looks with mild bed head. She unnecessarily explains herself and I cut her off letting her know breakfast is ready. We stare at each other and I don't know what it is about her, maybe it's the intensity of her blue eyes, or the fact that they make my heart melt, or maybe the fact that she's been the only girl to make me blush since…ever. I get a little disappointed when she drops her head but I smile because I like the fact that I make her shy because these small signs tell me I'm not the only one feeling this._

_She tells me she'll be out momentarily and I back away from the door reluctantly. I really don't like being away from her. This need to always being around sneaks up on me and the more we separate the worse it gets. I walk backwards watching as she closes the door._

_Everything flows so naturally between us and I can't help at marvel at how easy it is. Yes relationships are work and yeah Lexy and I get along but it feels like something is missing. She's great in every sense of the word but whatever I'm missing with Lexy I sure as hell found it Spencer. I can't figure out what it is though, but it has been helping with my music. All I do is come up with songs that generate whenever she's in my mind._

_She's been in my mind since the first moment I laid eyes on her. I don't mind though because the thought of her makes me smile. Everything about her makes me smile._

"_Did you have any plans today Spencer?"_

_I hope nothing because I would really love to pick back up from where we left off last night. She tells me that she has to meet up with her parents. I try not to let my disappointment show, spending more time with her would be amazing. Plus I'm sure I can't handle being away from her just yet, there's too much to learn about her._

_I tell her my plans and she agrees to go. As hard for me as it was to contain my disappointment it's harder to contain my excitement but not as hard as it is to hide my fear when she mentions I'll have to meet her parents._

_I've never met parents. Like anyones...ever. Lexy's mom and dad split a while ago and I've never had to meet her mom because she lives in a different country. I mean we've talked on the phone but I've never met her. _

_Okay obviously it's impossible to go through life without meeting parents but I've never met parents of a girl I…what am I feeling exactly? A girl I like, a girl I'm interested in? I can't be interested in Spencer though but I mean that's normal right. You meet someone new, when they're interesting they interest you…right?_

_Yeah I'm totally talking in circles to avoid the obvious. I like Spencer…a lot._

_She teases me on my hesitation and if I weren't as nervous as I am right now I would totally find her adorable. This overwhelming urge to wrap her up in my arms overcomes me and I'm grateful that she leaves the room laughing quietly._

"_Parents love me Spencer!" I shout and I'm pretty sure I sound like a complete lunatic._

_That's the mantra I tell myself from that moment on. Even when Spencer went all Hulk on her ex, which I found rather hot. Though I never want to be on the receiving end of that anger, I'd also never give Spencer a reason to be mad at me._

_I pull up to Spencer's house and I can't help but smirk as she tells us we are here after the GPS announces our arrival._

_I hear a shout from the house and I can't help but erupt in laughter as the older woman runs towards the car with her arms spread open. Spencer groans in embarrassment and I want to rub her back but I'm afraid that if I touch her this fire that's burning within me for her will only get worse._

"_So that's your mom huh?"_

_I try not to groan at my redundant question. No Ashley that's her hair stylist…stupid. She confirms what I already knew and I watch as she gets smothered with hugs. Aw I wish my mom was normal. She finally releases Spencer and I quickly judge for doing such a thing. I get out of the car to greet her properly and she lets a quick shrill causing me to jump a little._

"_You must be Carmen?" She pulls me into a hug and I'm caught off guard by the gesture. This is terribly awkward. Poor Spencer._

_She corrects her mother and Paula proceed to ask who I am._

"_I'm Ashley." I introduce myself and hold out my hand and she pulls me into another hug. Someone sure likes hugs. Spencer shrieks in horror and I laugh. She finally lets me go._

"_Are you Spencer's new girlfriend?"_

_I wish_

"_Um no ma'am, actually I'm—"_

"_She's Lexy's girlfriend mom."_

_Ugh it sounds so foul when she says it. It sounds like she's saying something she'd rather not say and to be honest I'd rather not hear because I'm quickly reminded that everything that I'm feeling towards Spencer I shouldn't be feeling._

_Everything I'm feeling towards Spencer I should be feeling towards Lexy…then why don't I?_

_Spencer doesn't address me as anything to her and that doesn't sit well with me so I pick up from her interjection._

"_I'd like to think that Spencer and I are friends." I look at Spencer a certain way then look at her mother again. Paula invites us to lunch and despite Spencer's efforts to make this a quick visit I accept the invitation on both our behalf. Her mother gets excited and I can't help but act the same way._

"_This one's a keeper Spencer."_

_Oh how I want nothing more than to be kept by Spencer._

"_Hear that? I'm a keeper. I told you…parents love me." I shrug and jog up to catch up with Paula. Every parent in the world could hate me but as far as I'm concerned Spencer's parents approval are the only ones that matter._

"We have to visit Mrs. Williams baby." I crawl on the bed next to Spencer and tangle our legs together. She wraps her arms around me and I melt into her like I always do. I bury my face in her neck and kiss it softly. She purrs in appreciation and my lips spread into a smile across her skin.

"We will first thing in the morning. Right now I just want to cuddle with you. You think Madison and Aiden are okay wandering the halls of the hotel alone?"

She laughs and I pull her closer."Probably not but we can always say we don't know them if something happens."

"Yeah okay and when Madison looks at you with those scary eyes don't come crying to me."

"My hero." She tells me sarcastically and purse my lips as I look at her in disbelief.

"Like you wouldn't do the same thing to me. " She just shrugs. "Uh huh that's what I thought."

–

_As I drive aimlessly around the streets of L.A I can't help but think back to the song I just sang in front of Spencer's parents. I can't believe I just did that. But like I said, Spencer has been all kinds of inspiration to me since I met her. _

_We have idle conversation when she suddenly gets this idea and starts giving me directions to somewhere... _

"_Spencer where the hell are we going?" I ask a bit nervous cause I mean, I'm in a unknown neighborhood here. _

"_Trust me." She tells me and flashes a toothy grin. I sigh as I continue to follow her directions. "Okay, pull up over there." She says pointing to a curb. We both get out of the car and come up to a fence. I ask her where we are and she replies saying I ask too many questions. Ugh! This girl! _

"_Spencer what the hell are you doing?" I ask as she begins to climb the fence of the home she just told me she didn't know who occupied it. _

"_Scouting." She replies quickly. "Duh." Oh really, breaking and entering is considered scouting these days?_

_I tell her we're not doing this as I look around, making sure that no one was coming. She continues to climb the fence anyways, asking me about my sense of adventure. Oh I'm adventurous alright!_

"_Are you high?" I whisper shout to her. _

_She giggles before replying in fashion only a high person would... "Only on life." We go back in forth for a minute before I give in and climb the damn fence. I bet she thinks she's a winner right now. Well I'm only doing this to be her look out. Yeah, I know. That made no sense. As we trek through the yard, admiring it's beauty I notice a trampoline. Oh my God! I love trampolines! I shout and then run and jump on it. I'm sure Spencer is laughing at me right now but I don't even care. _

_I'm not sure how I got here, in front of Spencer...holding her hand as I stare in her eyes. But here I am. And it feels so perfect. Like our hands were always meant to joined as one. The look on her face tells me that she feels the same. That I'm not the only one feeling like this right now. I don't think the urge to kiss her has ever been as strong as it is right now. _

_But she pulls away, walking down a stone path further towards the back of the yard. I sigh and drop my head before following her in a magnificent garden. _

"_Stop." Spencer commands as I walk up a small set of stairs in the back of the garden. "Sit on the stairs." She tells me and I do as I'm told. We fall into easy conversation as she snaps pictures of me. I can't believe I'm letting her do this right now. When she stops snapping pictures I get up and ask her to see the pictures. When she tells me no and tries to hold her camera away from me, I wrap my arms around her and reach for it to try and take it, but she has a tight grip on it; telling me to trust her instinct. I don't listen as I continue to reach for it, but soon I'm no longer fighting to get the camera and she's not fighting to keep me away from it. We've melted into each other and right now in this moment, nothing matters to me. I don't have a girlfriend and Spencer isn't that non-existent girlfriend's best friend. _

_I lean closer to her and she turns in my arms to face me. I breathe her in as we bump noses. Everything in me wants me to kiss her. Just do it Ashley. Just kiss her. No! You have a girlfriend! _

_The moment is over as quickly as it came when her phone rings and she announces that it's Lexy... my girlfriend. I back away from Spencer and leave the garden, thinking how if Lexy hadn't of just called Spencer and I would have probably shared our first kiss. _

"Well hello Dears!" Ms. Williams greets Spencer and I with a tight hug as we enter her home. We giggle and greet her. "Oh how I've missed the two of you."

"Hey!" Aiden shrieks as him and Madison appear in the doorway behind us.

"Boyfriend!" Ms. Williams greets Aiden, pulling him into a hug. Madison chuckles as she waits for Ms. Williams to release her boyfriend so she can give her a hug.

"Must not have missed me too much, you're getting married." Aiden feigns insult and Ms. Williams slaps him on the arm and giggles as she releases him and grabs Madison for a hug. She leads us into the kitchen where there is no doubt a pitcher of lemonade and to Spencer's delight, a pitcher of iced tea. My girlfriend turns and smiles at me as she pours herself a glass.

"Ms. Williams, where's the soon to be Mr. Williams?" Spencer asks.

Ms. Williams chuckles, "At work darling. He should be home for lunch in a bit if you all plan on staying a while. We all glance around at each before turning back to Ms. Williams and nodding. We've got nothing better to do today and I'd much rather be here then at my parent's house and I'm sure Spencer feels the same about hers. "So what's been going on with you all?" Ms. Williams asks the group.

"Ms. Williams we were just here a month ago." Spencer replies with a smile.

"A lot can happen in a month." Ms. Williams replies, not missing a beat as looks back between Spencer and I with a smile.

That is very true... A lot can happen.

"_Hey." I tell her, peeking my head through the door. I know that watching me and Lexy be all cuddly and lovey isn't the easiest thing for Spencer and I don't blame her for walking out on us. _

"_Um hey." She sits up and turns to face me on the bed. She's on the phone and I feel bad for interrupting her, but I wanted to make sure she was okay. "Madison I'm gonna call you back." She tells the other person on the phone, never letting her eyes leave mine. I hear the person on the line yell something before Spencer says, "Gotta go, love you." Quickly into the phone and hangs it up. "Where's Lex?" She looks around me. _

_I tell her that Lexy passed out as I take a seat at the foot of her bed. She says a quick oh and I gather my thoughts. _

"_I um... I just came to check on you. You left out of there so quickly I wanted to make sure everything was okay." _

"_Yeah. Just got a phone call." She says, waving her phone. _

"_Right." I nod. "Well I'm gonna um go, Lex has work in the morning so..." _

"_Okay." She replies as her phone rings again, whoever it is she pressed the ignore button. I don't know what comes over me but I feel like I need to be close to her. I need her to understand what's going inside of me. And I need to know what she's feeling. I move closer to her on the bed and take my index finger to lift her chin. _

"_Spence look at me." I tell her in a voice I don't recognize as my own. She grabs my hand and pusses me away before getting up from the bed and pacing the floor in front of me. She lets out a heavy breath as I watch her. "Spencer talk to me." I say as I get up and step in front of her, stopping her from pacing. When she still doesn't look at me I grip her arms and lower my head to catch her eyes. She tries to pull out of my grasp but I keep a tight grip on her. _

"_Please don't…" She croaks out. The fact that this is hurting her right now is killing me. I know that this situation is delicate and that her best friend... my girlfriend is in the next room. _

"_Don't what?" I ask stepping closer. I know exactly what she wants me to do. _

_She pushes me back my shoulders. "That…don't do that."_

_I let go of her and step back a bit, not wanting to make this any harder for her. "Spencer…I'm sorry I don't…"_

"_You're sorry?!" She half shouts trying to keep her voice down. "I'm the one who's crushing on my best friend's girlfriend. A best friend, who by the way does not deserve for me to have these feelings for her girlfriend, and you're the one that's sorry."_

"_I'm sorry?" I offer, cause I mean... what do I say to that? She groans in frustration. "Spencer just calm down. I get it okay?"_

_She laughs. Why is she laughing? "Oh you get it?"_

_What the hell kinda question is that? She thinks that this isn't hard for me too? Harder even? I'm the one that's dating someone. _

"_Yeah I fucking get it! " I reply quickly, yelling but whispering at the same time. I do not want Lexy to hear any part of this conversation. It would not be good. "You don't think you're throwing me for a loop. I love her... I've loved her for so long and then here you come out of nowhere-"_

"_I did not come out of nowhere." She scoffs. "I was here before you, therefore I've got seniority!" I can't help the smile that appears at my lips. Leave it to her to say something cute like that in the middle of an argument. She points at me angrily. "Do not smile."_

_The smirk that was on my face disappears as the situation turns serious again. I sigh and run a hand through my hair."Spencer I've written more songs about you in two days than I have for her in this seven month relationship." I close the distance between us, placing a palm against her cheek. She closes her eyes and I want nothing more than to kiss her right now. "Spencer I…"_

"_I can't do this." She steps back and I feel like I can't breathe. Things are so much better when she's near me. "I can't do this with you right now you're to…you're meaning too much to me too quickly and I can't do this." She steps back further away from me. "Please just leave me alone." She begs me and I can see that she's about to cry. I don't want her to cry. That's the last thing I want actually. I try to step closer but she backs away. _

"_Spence…" I try. This is all too much for me. _

"_Please." She says again. _

_She doesn't have to beg anymore. I get it. I nod and look away, whispering out an okay, stepping around her, towards the door. "We can't avoid this forever." I tell her. _

"_I know." She gets out before I shut the door. Spencer may be trying to avoid whatever this is that's happening between us, but I for one won't do that. Not when everything in me is telling me that she's the one. _

–

Chapter Title- Colbie Calliat- Begin Again


	43. Epilogue Part 2: Kiss Me Slowly

Here's part two guys. Hope you enjoy it!

* * *

**Epilogue Part 2- Kiss Me Slowly**

"I think you've had enough iced tea Spence." I tell my girlfriend and smirk at the pout that forms on her lips. She knows how I can't say no to her when she does that.

"But it's delicious." She adds in a whiny voice. I swear she has me wrapped around her finger.

"Get a grip woman its juice!" Madison spits out as she sips her lemonade. Ms. Williams left the room as she answers another call from her beau. It's so cute to see her this way. Spencer and I are very much like that, never getting enough of each other. Always calling as soon as one of us leaves the house because we miss the others voice that much.

Yes it's sad and pathetic but when you're as in love as we are it can't be helped.

It's like this heart clenching feeling of not knowing what the other is doing, or if they're thinking about you even if you know they are, or if they miss you almost as much as you miss them.

It's overwhelming and amazing all at the same time.

"Baby tell Madison to shove it!"

I eye Madison and her glare is withering. I opt to kiss Spencer softly on the lips and tell her. "I love you." I flash a charming smile and she just looks at me with a blank stare.

"Coward!" My girlfriend shouts at me and I would hang my mouth open in shock but she's completely right.

"She better be scared." Madison says as she just pours herself another drink. "I swear Ms. Williams must be putting crack or something in this drink I can't get enough." Aiden and I chuckle as Madison wastes no time taking a long sip of her beverage.

"Get a grip woman it's just juice." Spencer says in a tone that tries to mimic her friend's voice from before.

Madison just smirks as she looks at my girlfriend over the rim of her cup.

"And here I thought you loved me."

"I do love you baby, more than you can imagine." I tell her honestly and though I know she's joking it's still nice to remind her just how in love I am with her. If there were enough words to express how I felt they still wouldn't be enough. This girl is my heart and I'd do anything for…except stand up to Madison that's like standing up to the devil without God on your side…automatic death.

How am I supposed to love Spencer from the grave?! When you have an answer then I will gladly go head to head with the New Yorker. Until then as my baby would say…shove it!

"Love me enough to let me have another glass of iced tea?" She gives me a cheesy grin and if I could I wouldn't tell her no. I nod towards the glass pitcher. She does a little dance in her seat and I can't contain her cuteness.

"You better let me have another glass or I'd give you a silent treatment." She flashes me a smile. "I know how much you love those." She says with a chuckle her voice echoing inside the glass as she holds the cup to her mouth.

I glare at her. "Yeah almost as much as you love them."

She hates them…just in case you didn't catch that. She always has… And so have I...

_I can't believe Spencer is actually doing this. It's been almost two weeks since we talked in her bedroom that night and she declared that it'd be best if we avoid this whole thing. Whatever this is that's going on between us. I didn't expect her to actually try. _

_I'm going crazy not talking to her or hanging out with her. She plays nice when Lexy's around but whenever Lexy's away, it's like we're strangers. _

"_Spencer can we please stop this?" I question in a whisper as she tries to walk past me into the kitchen for a drink of water. We were all in the living room watching a movie but we both got thirsty at the same time. Well she got thirsty... I'm just desperate. _

"_Ashley move." She begs as she tries to side step me to go back into the living room._

"_Could one of you grab me some more popcorn while you're in there?" Lexy yells from the living room. Spencer sighs and turns back into the kitchen to get the popcorn. _

"_Can we please stop this... I don't want to not talk to you. Could you just please-"_

_"No." She cuts me off, turning her head to look at me. "I can't just anything." She sighs as she shakes her head. "I can't be around you Ashley. I can't have these feelings-"_

"_I feel them too." I cut her off, moving closer to her. I try to take her hand in mine but she snatches it away. She pours the rest of the popcorn in a bowl, turning to face me completely. _

"_This is wrong." She says simply, walking past me into the living room. These feelings I'm feeling aren't just gonna go away. No matter how much I try to push them out of my mind. Every second of every day is consumed by thoughts of Spencer. _

"I'm sorry you have to go so soon, George is running late, he had some problems with a shipment."

"I know me too, but I have to meet with the band to make sure we're all set for your big day. We'll see him at the rehearsal dinner." I reassure Ms. Williams as she pulls me into a hug. She pats my back and let go. Spencer takes my place in the embrace.

"Don't you worry I'll have to have a stern talking with George before he says his 'I do'." My girlfriend the bully.

I smile as our host chuckles. "Don't scare off my soon to be husband."

"Well I'll be there to take his place if he's crazy enough to even think it."Aiden answers and this guy is the sweetest as he gently lifts her off the ground.

"My turn!" Madison as she shoves her boyfriend out of the way once he's a safe distance from Ms. Williams. Aiden scoffs as he crosses his arms and watches his girlfriend hug our favorite elder.

"Ashley can I see you a second?" Ms. Williams asks as everyone starts to head towards the car. I smile and nod as she pulls me inside the front door. "I've discussed your plan with George, he thinks it's a lovely idea." She smiles.

"Really?" I ask, pleased. I honestly can't believe he agreed to let me do it, seeing it's their big day and all.

"Mhm." She nods.

"That's amazing, Ms. Williams. Thanks so much." I tell her as I pull her into a hug. "Tell Mr. Radin that I really appreciate it." I nod as I lean forward and kiss her cheek.

"He knows." She assures me. I say goodbye once again and catch up to the group at the car.

"What was that all about?" Spencer asks, once I reach the car.

"She um..." I stutter a bit, I don't want to lie to Spencer but it's kinda necessary in this situation. "Just some stuff about the play list for the reception." I lie and can see Madison eying me from the rear view mirror.

"Oh, well you guys are all set on that right?" Spencer asks as Madison continues to glare at me from the backseat.

"Mhm." I nod, putting the car in drive. Change of subject would be great. "I can drop you guys back at the hotel while I go meet with the band." I suggest as I turn off Ms. Williams' block.

Madison and Aiden agree but apparently Spencer has other plans as a pout appears at her lips and she crosses her arms.

"What is it?" I ask, reaching over and placing a hand on my girlfriends thigh.

"I wanna goooooo." She whines out and I chuckle at her cuteness.

"Spence it's kinda just-"

"Please let her go or she'll be whining about how much she misses you." Madison begs from the backseat.

"You're just jealous that I don't miss you."

Madison just sucks her teeth and rolls down her window letting her arm drape outside. You see how she doesn't disagree. Spencer notices too because she quickly says "Love you Madison." The Latina waves her off mumbling an 'uh huh'. "So can I go?"

I just nod as my hand finds hers. She starts to go on a tangent about all the things she has to tell the guys and Stacy since the last time she's seen them. She really has clicked well with all of us. Even though she and Stacy had that little fling they have managed to remain pretty good friends. I do however catch Stacy eying Spencer every once in a while. I don't let myself get too jealous but the history between them does bug me just a bit. Especially when I think about how it all started…why it all started.

_I'm glad that Spencer decided to come with us to the audition and I'm glad that she decided to come to lunch with the band. She's become so important to me in such a short time and the band is like the family I've always wished I had so I'm glad they're getting to meet her. They think I don't know, but I'm aware of the fact that they've never really liked Lexy but they seem to be falling in easily with Spencer, which brings a smile to my face. The boys decide it'd be fun to tell embarrassing stories and I can't say I didn't expect it. Stacy is so engrossed in Spencer she probably has no idea what we've even been talking about for the past hour. _

_I'm not sure how I feel about this. _

_I mean I guess I don't have a right to be protective or jealous because technically Spencer isn't mine but in my mind... since I kinda want her to be then that counts for something right?_

_My fingers dance on Spencer's arm and the feel of her skin against the pads of my fingers feels so good that I can't help but make the strokes a little more firm. I feel the goose bumps as I continue and I catch the quick glance that Spence throws in my direction. I can't help myself around her though. I'm like someone I always knew I was but for some reason I haven't been that person for a while. Spencer just brings out that part of me…if that makes any sense. _

_With Spencer around I feel more like myself than I ever have and I love that she does that for me. I just hope I do that for her._

_My phone rings and I excuse myself to answer the call. I quickly head outside where it's a bit quieter. _

"_Hey there."_

"_Hey baby how'd it go?" _

_I smile at Lexy's voice, she's such a comfort to have around. Her sweetness, and personality always a treat to associated with. She's like the best friend I never really had. The band doesn't really count they're the family I picked because the family I didn't…let's just say they are quite the bunch._

"_It went great. The producer really liked us, he said we were exactly what they were looking for and there's a high chance of being signed with them. Like I can't believe this is happening…"_

"_You deserve baby you're so amazing and so talented. I'm so proud of you."_

"_Thanks babe. It's just everything I've ever dreamed you know." I look into the window of the diner to check on the group and I catch a glimpse of Spencer. "And it's all just happening so fast. I can't stop it." I get lost as I watch her._

"_And why would you want to it's a great thing."_

"_Yeah." I answer absentmindedly. _

"_Listen I can't wait to hear more but I have to get back to work I was just getting really anxious. Is Spence still with you?"_

_I'm watching Stacy flirt with her and I'm wondering myself if she is. "Uh sorta I guess we're just having lunch with the band. We're leaving now though."_

_I can't let Stacy stay too long around her. _

"_Okay baby well I'll see you tonight. Love you." _

_I quickly say the same and hang up the phone. I rush towards the table but I'm stopped by one of the waitresses who despite my efforts not to, manages to get me to engage in small talk. The band and I have been coming here for years and she was our first waitress. I try my best not to be rude and thank all that his holy when she gets flagged down by another table. _

_When I reach the table Stacy has effectively stolen my seat and offered me hers. I don't want her seat it's too far away from Spencer. Which is probably why she stole mine!_

_Chair thief._

_I'm trying not to let my jealously rear its ugly head and I think I'm doing a pretty good job. Everyone else seems to buy it, everyone's but Spencer. _

_I don't know exactly what triggered my abrupt reason to rush Spencer and myself out of there but it must have been necessary. My mind isn't with me as we say our goodbyes and even though I wanted Spencer and I to leave together I'm storming off like a bat out of hell. Leaving her behind because right now my heart…it's hurting. _

_My mind is confused. _

_My frustration is boiling. _

_My like is turning into so much more._

_My desire is burning so much more than it has been. _

_Most of all my fear is growing because I feel like I'm losing Spencer to one of my good friends and suddenly…I slightly understand how she feels. _

"_Are you training to be a speed walker in the Olympics? Slow down." _

_I'm ignoring her and as I get to my car I open the passenger door and wait for her to arrive. She comes up to me and stands by the open door._

"_What's wrong with you?" She asks. _

"_You can't go out with Stacy." I tell her…yeah tell. Like I own her or something…I don't even know where that came from. I mean sure, yeah, I was thinking but I didn't actually mean to say it. Okay maybe I did but I didn't mean for her to hear the words because I'm just coming off as a pompous brat that doesn't want to share her toys. _

"_I'll go out with whomever I want. Not your call." _

_First of all who uses the proper term 'whomever'! Second yes, I know it's not my call, doesn't mean I won't call it. Lots of things aren't mine doesn't mean I don't sort of consider them mine…like you for instance. _

"_She's not good for you Spencer. I love her like a sister, but Stacy's not the most committed person."_

_Ha! Hey pot my name is kettle. _

_How committed am I if I'm falling for someone that's not my girlfriend?_

_She catches me off guard when she asks, "Who says I'm looking for commitment?" _

_I swallow the lemon in my throat but I know she can see the sudden appearance of sadness in my eyes. That's not really something I want to hear from someone I'm developing deep feelings for. Does that mean if the time came for it…she wouldn't commit to me? I know I shouldn't be thinking of being committed to her when I'm committed to Lexy. At least I'm supposed to be. I can't help but wonder, just what I am to her…_

"Spencer!" All the guys shout as they scoop her up in their arms. It's amazing how much they all love her, and how they've loved her from the beginning. Even after they found out about the whole 'affair.' It's one thing I truly love about them. They don't judge.

"Hey guys." My girlfriend chuckles as they release her. "Hey Stace." Spencer smiles shyly as my friend pulls her into a hug. See what I mean! There's no need for the shyness, we're all friends here! Right?

Stop being paranoid Ashley! Spencer loves you!

"Hey." Stacy whispers as she pulls back.

"So, how about we get this show on the road." I suggest to the band, everyone nods. We're gonna get a couple hours of practice in today, although I'm confident in our ability to not have to. But this is Ms. Williams' big day, we don't want to have any mishaps. "Spence you can sit over there if you want." I point to a row in the corner." She gives me a bright smile and kisses me quickly before heading over to the chairs. "Okay guys on Mikey's count." I tell them as Mikey bangs his sticks together to cue us in.

After we practice a few songs we feel we've done enough for the day and start packing up.

"So this is the last one before the wedding then?" Andrew asks, closing his guitar case.

"Yeah, unless you feel like you need to go over the songs a few more times?" I question him with a raised brow and smile.

"No, no." He shakes his head and smiles as everyone else stares at him. Sporting the same look as me. "I got it."

"Yo Andrew it's cool if you need a little more practice bro. We understand." Mikey pipes up, barely able to hold back his laughter.

"Shut it, Mikey!" Andrew snaps at out friend.

"If you're sure." I cut in.

"Yeah, yeah I'm sure." He nods as he walks over and punches Mikey on the arm.

"Ow." Mikey grabs his arm, rubbing it.

"Spence could you give us a minute, I need to discuss something with the band." I tell her, she gives me a smile and a nod as she leaves the studio.

"So we're all set for your big thing then?" Joey questions, barely able to contain his excitement.

"You seem more excited than me Joe."

"Well it's not everyday that..."

"Shhh!" Everyone in the room hushes him.

"Sorry." He holds his hands up in defense.

"Everything is set, I just need to talk to my parents." I sigh as I pick up my guitar case.

"We sometimes have to make sacrifices for the greater good." Andrew says, getting a look from the entire band. I swear, if I hadn't met Andrew years ago... I'd think he was the weirdest guy ever.

"We'll you know we're ready." Stacy speaks up.

"Thanks guys." I smile and nod. "I should go, Spencer's not the most patient person." They all agree and nod. We say our goodbyes and head out the studio.

"Official band business huh?" Spencer asks as we walk down the stairs to the car.

"Yeah you know, like stuff... and stuff." Oh nice Ashley! That didn't raise any red flags.

"Ash you're not keeping secrets right?" She asks as she laces my fingers in hers. I readjust my guitar on my shoulder. Here comes another lie.

"No." I shake my head and kiss her.

"We both know where secrets get us, Ash. What they get us." She says, stopping her movement to look at me.

"I'm not keeping anything from you Spence. I..." I trail off, studying her face. I don't like that I have to lie to her but it's necessary for this situation. Otherwise I wouldn't do it and I hope Spencer can understand that.

"Kay." She forces out a smile. She's knows something is up, I can tell. I just hope she doesn't figure it out before the wedding.

"That went better than I expected." I tell Spencer as we get in the car to drive to her parents house.

"What!" She shrieks. "You guys are totally professionals now. You don't even need to practice." She smiles and I can't help but shake my head at her logic.

"You know that makes no sense right?" I turn to my girlfriend briefly and ask.

She shrugs and purses her lips. "Meh. You know I'm saying." Ugh! I swear this girl is so freaking perfect.

"I love you." I tell her as I take her hand in mine, glancing over at her.

"I love you more." She smiles, lifting my hand to kiss it. "Everything okay?" She asks a moment later.

"Perfectly fine." I assure her as a small smile creeps on my face and I continue to drive to her parents house.

–

"Mom, where's dad? I thought you said he'd be home today." Spencer asks when she sees her dad's car is not in the driveway.

"He was supposed to be honey, but you know how work is." Paula shakes her head as we walk the Carlin residence for the second time on this visit. "He promises to see you at the wedding though." Paula smiles and offers us a cookie. Spencer grabs one and I shake my head no thanks.

"That's in three whole days!" Spencer whines as she takes a seat on a stool. I take the seat next to her and smile a little at her pouty face. She can be so cute sometimes.

"You know, I'm starting to think you love your dad a lot more than you love me." Paula raises a brow at the younger blonde.

"It's a different kinda love mom." Spencer counters. I snort a laugh. What does that even mean?

"What does that even mean?" Paula asks, reading my mind.

"You know what I'm saying." Spencer shrugs.

"No. I don't." Paula counters.

Spencer sighs as she tries to think of a way to explain this to Paula. Paula's face right now is priceless.

"Okay so well you're my mom and of course I love you. You gave birth to me. But with dad it's like, I don't get to see him often or when I do it's not for a long period of time so it's just-"

"So you're saying you want to see me less often?" Paula questions.

"No mom." Spencer says quickly. "I'm just saying that it's not the same-"

"So you love him more?" Paula asks, putting a hand on her hip.

"No mom I didn't-"

"After all we went through this summer Spencer this is how-"

"Mom I wasn't saying that, you gotta let me-" The laughter that Paula let's out stops Spencer mid sentence. Hasn't Spencer learned her mother by now? Paula hops down off the stool she'd sat in, continuing to laugh. Spencer doesn't think it's so funny. "You're a jerk, you know that right?"

Paula shrugs. "Sure." She smiles and kisses her daughter on the forehead. "I've got to get to work. You two enjoy the cookies." She walks over to me and kisses me on the forehead.

"Thanks Mrs. C." I tell her. She nods and smiles.

"Can I see you in the living room for a second Ashley?" Paula asks, and Spencer's eyes shoot to mine. This is the third conversation today that I've had in secret from her. If she wasn't worried before, she definitely is now.

"Everything set?" She asks with a huge grin.

"Yes ma'am. I just need to put one final piece together." I nod and return the smile. I'm really happy that Paula is okay with what I'm going to do. I know her and I didn't get to know each other under the best of circumstances last year, with the whole Lexy debacle thing but I'm glad that she understood and has accepted me into their family.

"Good, good." She pats my shoulder. "I'm really proud of you Ashley. Doing this..."

"Thank you. I um... I don't see how this could go in any other direction you know."

"There are plenty of ways this could have gone sweetheart. I love the one you're taking it." She counters. She pats me on my shoulder again, taking a bite of her cookie before leaving. I smile as I walk back into the kitchen.

"How dare she invite us over knowing she has work. That woman..." Spencer says shaking her head. I take a seat on the stool next to her.

"I love your mom, Spence. She's awesome." I tell my girlfriend, grabbing a cookie.

"Yeah yeah, live with her for eighteen years and see how you feel after that."

"I'm sure I'd feel the same." I tell my girlfriend before placing a chaste kiss on her lips. "So what now?" I ask, hoping off the stool.

"Should we talk?" She asks. I raise a brow at her.

"Talk about what?"

"The fact that you still don't like me around Stacy. Or the secret you claim to not be keeping from me" She counters with a smirk.

"I have no idea what you're talking about Spence." I shake my head, reaching over the counter to grab another cookie.

"Right, we can play dumb if you want. But I saw the way you were looking at Stacy when she hugged me and this is the third conversation you've had in secret today. We can talk about either or... you decide." She says, getting off her stool.

"Okay fine. I'm still a bit uncomfortable with you two being around each other. But can you blame me?" I ask seriously. I mean Stacy isn't the worst person to be around. In fact, in high school I had this major crush on her but Mikey told me that is wasn't a good idea to go there especially not if we were serious about the band.

Oh shit, when did Spencer get in front of me?

"How many times do I have to tell you that you're the only person I want?" She whispers against my lips.

"At least a million." I reply with a smile.

"I love you Ashley." She leans forward and kisses me. "You and only you. Always and forever." She says once she pulls back.

A smile creeps onto my lips as I reply, "I love you so much more."

_What the hell am I doing?_

_What the hell am I doing?_

_What the HELL am I doing?!_

_I jump down from the fence with my guitar strapped firmly onto my back. I quietly look around to make sure the coast is clear. A lot more stealth than I was before. I already texted Spencer to meet me here, I came up with a pathetic lie to tell Lexy. It wasn't even good. I'm sure she'll find out before I can tell her. I'm so bad at this but then again you think that'd be a good thing. _

_No. _

_Nothing is good about what's going on here, there's just so much wrong but at the same time my heart is leaning towards Spencer. As mad as I am at her I can't imagine her being anyone else's. My text was so cryptic I'm really hoping that she'll know where I'm talking about or I'm going to be sitting here like an idiot. Then I'm gonna get arrested and end up being a bitch to some huge lady named Cookie…_

"_What are we doing here, Ashley? This is cr-"_

_She startles me but I know my time is limited so I pull myself together as I ask her to listen. I start the song and allow the words to say everything I'm feeling. It's another new one I wrote for her and the fact that its new, my emotions are out of whack and Spencer is making me extremely nervous I stumble over a few of the chords. _

_I quickly get over it as I let what I love take over me but when I finish I'm surprised by what's in front of me. I don't hesitate to rush towards her and gather her into my arms._

"_Don't cry…Please don't cry Spencer."_

_She tells me it's wrong again and even though I know it is a large part of me is disagreeing with her. She stumbles over her next set of words and I quickly make a request._

"_Don't go out with Stacy." _

_I watch as she tries to piece things together. She quickly grows angry and attempts to walk away. I call after her and grab her hand pulling her into me. The momentum a lot more than either of us anticipated as she crashes into me. The moonlight allows me to see her eyes dart towards my lips and my eyes do the same to hers. _

"_You're jealous." She states. _

_Obviously. I thought we covered that? She tries to free herself from my grip but I love the feel of her this close to me. So I refuse to let her go. Being friends with boys you're bound to end up in a wrestling match or two. I just got better over time. _

"_You're just doing this because you're jealous."_

_I'm staring with so much emotion right now. I'm hoping she'd look at me to absorb some of what I'm feeling but she's fighting me. I won't lie to her as I tell her the truth, that I did do this just because I was jealous but my intentions were all good because I tell her Stacy is wrong for her. I tell her she deserves better and she angrily spits back her response._

"_Oh, like you?!"_

_I let her go because the way she said held so much venom. Like the thought altogether was so unappealing to her. I feel my heart slowly breaking as she scolds me, telling me I don't get to dictate who she dates. She's right. I grab my things and I stand in front of her and tell her just that. _

"_You're right. I'm in a committed relationship…" I should start acting like it. "You, Spencer Carlin…"as much as it pains me to think so "Are free to date whomever you'd like…"_

_I used whomever!_

_I'm cut off by the presence of an older woman. "Can I help you two?"_

_I'm too young for jail!_

"I don't get why you two can't just go to dinner on your own. It's not like you haven't been to this hotel enough times to know where the the restaurant is."

"Stop being a horny jerk Spencer." Madison counters, I stifle a laugh, getting a side eye from my girlfriend. I shrug and smile sweetly.

"Baby really it's fine." I lean over and whisper to her. "We can finish this later." I add, obviously not low enough.

"Yeah, finish that shit later."

I roll my eyes at Madison as I pull myself from Spencer's grasp and roll out of bed.

"I'm sorry Ashley." Aiden whispers, getting a glare from his girlfriend.

I mouth that it's okay as I pull myself up.

"Double date yay!" Madison shrieks and I cringe at the memory of Spencer and I's first double date.

_Eating cereal with three year old milk…putting hot coal on my eyes…play tag with a tank full of man eating sharks. What am I doing you ask? Well I'm listing all the things I'd rather be doing than going on a double date with Spencer and Stacy._

_I don't do double dates._

_I don't even really like single dates but I mean they are necessary to get to know the person that you want to be with. I'm alone in the living room with Stacy because my girlfriend is a bit on the impatient side and is rushing Spencer. I shouldn't feel awkward around Stacy but I do._

_I clear my throat and she looks over at me, probably because she's expecting me to say something._

"_Sorry for crashing your date."_

_She just smiles. She really is a sweetheart. I don't know why I told Spencer she isn't good for her, maybe I told her that because in reality…she is. And with the way I'm feeling about Spencer at the moment, I don't want anyone else but me occupying her time. And I know what you're thinking, how selfish of me but you don't understand what's going on in my brain right now. _

"_It's fine, we'll probably separate at the end and do something anyway."_

_No! Stay in my sight where I can see you!_

"_Yeah that sounds awesome." No, no it doesn't._

_Lexy comes back with Spencer not too far behind and the moment Spencer's eyes connect with mine, I fight the urge to tell her how fucking amazing she looks right now. I hear Stacy call her sexy and I hold in an eye roll. No right to get jealous here Ashley! Stacy tells her how amazing she looks and I involuntarily smile and nod, cause I mean she does. But then again, Spencer would probably look good in anything. _

_The ride to the restaurant had to be the hardest ride of my life. The entire time Lexy kept trying to hold a conversation with me but all I could think about is what Spencer and Stacy may or may not be doing in the other car. Lexy notices my absentmindedness and calls me out on it._

"_Where's your head at today baby?" She asks, grabbing hold of my hand – effectively getting my attention._

"_I'm sorry." I shake my head. "I just have a lot of my mind you know. With the band and stuff." I lie. I don't know why it's becoming easier and easier to lie to her. _

"_Oh okay." She smiles and nods. "I understand. I'm here to talk if you want babe." She tells me and I practically cringe at just how fucking sweet she is. _

"_Okay." I tell her with a nod as we pull up to the restaurant. Stacy and Spencer pull up a few seconds after us. Lexy and I get out and walk towards Stacy's car. Lexy makes an unnecessary comment about how cozy they look and I catch the eye roll that Stacy is fighting back. We make our way into the restaurant and grab a seat. The conversation quickly turns to one that we definitely don't want to be having right now as Stacy asks Spence all these questions about school and when Lexy joins in Spencer and I decide that we need to end this discussion now or our cover might be blown. When Spencer blurts out karaoke I already know that I'm gonna be volunteered to go first._

_Which I am!_

_I protest for a moment but then give up pretty quickly. I already know I won't win this battle. I just make sure to tell everyone else they have to do it if I have to do it. I make my way on stage and search briefly through the big book of songs. Ah! I know exactly what I'm gonna sing. _

_I tell my selection to the DJ and ready myself to sing. _

_When the music starts to play I immediately turn my attention to the table I'd just vacated, trying to subtly let Spencer know this is yet another song I'm singing to her. I mean it fits her so perfectly... fits our situation._

"_You had me hooked again from the minute you sat down. The way you bite your lip, got my head spinnin' round. After a drink or two, I was putty in your hands. I don't if I have the strength to stand. Oh oh oh. Trouble troublemaker. Yeah, that's your middle name. I know you're no good but you're stuck in my brain." _

_After the chorus I start to get really in to it, imagining I'm at a concert in front of hundreds of adoring fans...and Spencer. Spencer's here and when she's around I feel like I can do anything. _

_When the song is over the entire crowd erupts into cheers and I smile and wave as I exit stage left. That was actually pretty fun. _

_When I reach my table my girlfriend and best friend commend me on my performance and both chicken out leaving Spencer to go on stage next. She grunts as she gets up and heads on stage, clearly not wanting to do this but doing it anyways. Probably for the sake of Lexy, who seems to always get what she wants. After Spencer tells the DJ her selection the music begins and I can't believe the song she's chosen. Is this how she feels about me? As the crowd cheers and Spencer begins to move with the music. I think this is the most confident I've ever seen her and under any other circumstance I would be turned on... but right now, the words coming out her mouth and the way she keeps staring at me... it's actually making me mad. _

_I can't believe she's doing this. A womanizer? Really? Spencer's the first girl I've looked at in this way since I've been with Lexy. I love Lexy... I do. I just, I feel this thing for Spencer that's kinda unstoppable or at least hard to control. I don't really know how to explain it. _

_When Spencer's done the crowd cheers louder for her than they did for me. As she exits the stage and makes her way back to our table I try my best not to look at her. I'm hurt. Really hurt. _

_Both Stacy and Lexy commend her on a job well done and she makes a comment about having Carmen as an ex-girlfriend. I hold back an eye roll. We both know this is about me. _

"_Can we leave?" I turn to Lexy and ask, I can't be here any longer. She asks me if I'm okay and I tell her I'm not feeling well suddenly. She tells Spencer and Stacy to continue with their date, like they needed permission, and we leave the restaurant. _

_The entire ride home I couldn't shake the feeling I've been feeling. I can't put Spencer out of my mind. _

_Her smile._

_Her laugh._

_Her voice._

_Her eyes._

_Her lips._

_Everything about her entices me. _

"_Ash you okay?" Lexy asks, breaking me from my trans. _

"_Yeah." I look up from my hands to her._

"_Well, we're here." She nods her head towards our apartment. Oh wow, I didn't even realize._

"_Right, yeah." I nod, unbuckling my seat belt. When I reach for the door handle Lexy grabs my hand stopping me._

"_Ash, are you sure you're okay?" _

_I close my eyes briefly and sigh inwardly. Maybe I should just tell her what I've been feeling. Maybe she'll understand. _

"_I'm fine." I nod and force a smile. _

"_Okay." She returns the smile, kissing my palm before letting my hand go. We get out the car and head into the house. "I'm going to bed." She says, dropping the car keys in the bowl by the door. "You coming?"_

"_Yeah, I'll be up soon. I'm just gonna watch a little T.V." I tell her, but really I need to stay up to wait for Spencer. I have to talk to her. To ask her if she meant what she sang. If she really thinks I'm a... I just need to talk to her. _

_Lexy nods, kissing my cheek. "Goodnight, I love you." _

"_I love you too." I tell her, before she heads upstairs. _

_I've been waiting up for a couple of hours now and the more that I think about Stacy and Spencer out on their 'date' the more I feel... sad. _

_I hear the car pull up outside and I count the seconds it takes Spencer to exit the car. 185 seconds, more than enough time for a goodnight kiss. I listen as she closes the car door and makes the short walk to the front door, using her key to unlock the door I listen as she makes her way towards the kitchen. Towards me. _

"_Hey." I greet her softly as she enters the kitchen. _

"_Hi." She matches my tone. When she looks towards the stairs I know that she's wondering where Lexy is. _

"_She's asleep." I tell her as I get up from the table. _

"_Ashley I'm sorry." I raise a hand to cut her off. _

"_Don't! Just don't." I turn and put my glass in the sink. I was going to talk to her, I wanted to. But now... now I can't. Now I just need to go. She asks if I'm mad at her and I have to hold back a laugh. I ask her if she's kidding me as I head towards the stairs. _

"_You don't get to be angry, Ashley. You don't get to be upset or sad or anything." _

"_Why the hell not? You don't think this hurts me? That I'm not in pain?" I ask as I turn around to face her, walking froward, pushing her back toward the sink. _

"_You should have told me." She says and I know she's trying now to cry. "You should have told me from the start that you were in a relationship. This is your fault." She pushes me back but I keep up my movement making her continue to walk backwards. _

"_What would that have changed?" _

"_Everything!" She yells. _

"_It wouldn't have changed a damn thing and you know it." She yells that I don't know that and I can't help but ask if she really thinks I'm a womanizer. If she thinks I enjoy hurting Lexy, that I enjoy hurting her..._

"_No." She cuts me off. "I know that this is-"_

"_Then why'd you do that? Why'd you sing that song?" _

"_Because I want you to feel what I feel, Ashley. I want you to-"_

_"You don't think I know exactly what you're feeling? I sit and think about this all the fucking time. What do I do..." I close my eyes as I think about this whole situation. "I love Lexy and I thought she was gonna be the person I spent the rest of my life with." I pause as the tears fall, she wipes them away."But then you came along. You came along and now I don't know what I want anymore. I don't how to fix this and it's killing me. It's killing me, Spencer." _

_She pulls me into a hug, whispers how sorry she is and that she knows this is hard for me as she begins to cry. "I didn't mean it. I was just angry." _

"_Spencer." I pull back and say after a moment. "Tell me what you want." I whisper, closing my eyes. I want so badly to just kiss her right now but I know this is wrong, Lexy is right upstairs and I know that Spencer likes Stacy, she wouldn't have kissed her if she didn't. _

_We both open our eyes at the same time. I scan her face to see if she's feeling what I'm feeling, if she wants this as much as I do. My gaze drops to her lips and I can't fight it any more. I don't want to. _

_My hands shoot up to her waist, snaking their way up her arms. The moan that escapes her throat spurs me on even more and when she grabs my head, pulling me closer I lose myself in her. I've wanted this so long, and this has never felt so perfect. _

_But then she pulls back. The look on her face, one of guilt. I know what's coming next and I'm already chasing her before she's even taken off. I tell her that it's okay. That we can figure this out but she keeps running, yelling for me to leave her alone as she gets into Lexy's car and drives away. _

–

"Can I ask you something?" I turn to Spencer and ask as we lay on the bed watching TV. After dinner we came back up to the room, while Madison and Aiden opted to go down to the theater for a movie.

"Sure baby, anything." She turns and looks at me with those beautiful blue eyes.

"That night I told you that I love you..." I pause as she shifts closer to me, giving me her full attention. "While I was singing the song you had no idea that the whole time I was telling you I loved you, did you?" I ask as a smile appears at my lips.

"No." She shakes her head and smiles. "I was staring at your lips and thinking about kissing you." She admits, causing me to smile wider.

"Good to know." I lean down and kiss her forehead.

"How long had you known?" She asks suddenly. I scrunch my brows.

"Known what?" I question.

"That you were in love with me?"

"I think the falling started the moment I met you." I admit truthfully. "But I knew for sure the night we kissed for the first time. I just... everything in me told me that you were the one. That no matter how hard I tried to fight it, I wouldn't win."

"I think it was the same for me too." She replies sitting up. "Do you think if Lexy hadn't of gone away for those few days you would have told me still?"

Hmm. I never thought about that. Would I have had the courage to tell her with my girlfriend so close to me?

"I think that the love I was feeling for you wouldn't have allowed me not to." I answer as truthfully as possible. Her lip twitches as a smile appears. She leans forward capturing my lips with her own.

"I love you so much Ashley." She whispers into the kiss.

"Not nearly as much as I love you."

–

_I take another look around the living room and make sure everything is in order. I know it's completely unnecessary because Spencer's been living here and she knows how messy it can get._

_I fluff yet another pillow on the couch., placing it back down I readjust the cushion on the seat. I'm a mess. Stacy has been spending more and more time with Spencer and I feel like I'm losing her even after our two kisses._

_How do you lose something you never really had to begin with? You know what screw that, Spencer's mine! I mean she fits me, I fit her and yeah there's the whole Lexy thing and I should be feeling more awful about it but when you're this much in lo…Oh my God._

_Am I really?_

_I drop onto the couch and bury my face in my hands exhaling softly. Of course I'm in love with her. What else could this be? Why else would my heart stop every time I see her or I smile like an idiot every time someone just mentions her name. Why else would she be the last thing I think of when I fall asleep and the first thing that comes to mind when I wake up? I hold Lexy with love, but my heart is consumed with everything Spencer. I care about Lexy I do but I'm not in love with her the way I should be. I'm not in love with her the way that I am with Spencer._

_Right now I know that I won't ever love anyone the way that I love Spencer because without trying she's stolen my heart, my soul, my everything and as far as I'm concerned…she can keep it._

_I grab my guitar as a sudden burst of inspiration floods my heart because just like every other time when I think of Spencer; a song easily comes to mind._

–

"_You didn't have to do this."_

_I know Lexy had to convince her which makes me a little sad to be honest. I'm not sure at what lengths she had to go but knowing that Spencer didn't come willingly is kinda killing me. _

_I sit next to her on the couch and she's sitting on the pillow I fluffed a million times. I try not to sigh…I worked really hard on the pillow._

_I steal a glance at her and I feel like an absolute idiot. This awkwardness is absolutely disgusting, we are drowning in it with no lifeboat, life preserver, or even arm floaties. Like what the hell, can we not do this?_

"_I know." I almost forget what she's referring to I'm so deep in the awkward and I get smashed down by guilt at the mere mention of Lexy's name. "When has anyone ever not done something she's wanted?"_

_I think for a while and I'm a bit shocked at the fact that I'm whipped by this girl. Ashley Davies is whipped by no one! Unless your name is Spencer._

_We share a laugh as I agree with Spencer and I'm quickly over the joke because right now all I want to do is kiss her and tell her how much I've missed her and how much I think Stacy is stupid!_

_Okay fine Stacy's awesome but in a Spencer Stacy combo she's dumb._

"_Can we stop doing this?" I turn around fully to look at her. As if facing her is my way of showing my vulnerability. I'm wearing my heart out on my sleeve right now and she wants to act like she doesn't know what I'm talking about. "Disappearing on each other. I can't take it Spencer, I can't take it when we don't talk. It kills me."_

_The thought of not hearing from her is heart wrenching in itself. She's quickly become this person that has control over everything I'm feeling. My heart constricts when she's not around and that's only when I know I'll eventually see her but not knowing that's death, no question._

"_It kills me too." She says and I nod because that thought brings me some resolve to know that we're on the same page despite everything we're both going through with our emotions and our connection with Lexy to know that we're in this together makes it a bit easier. It should never be easy to betray __someone you care about and though it doesn't seem like it with my actions I feel guilty for doing this to Lexy, she's been so good to me and I don't deserve the love she has for me but I can't help it. I can't help this. "I just don't know what else to do." She tells me after a moment and I see it in her eyes. We both know what to do. It's just the doing it that's the hard part. Telling Lexy would lead to one great thing but a lot of terrible little things as well._

_Lexy won't forgive me and I don't even know how she'll react that we've kept this so long from her. That we've kissed and especially the fact that I'm in love with her best friend. All those songs she thinks I wrote for her and me never correcting her, the fact that seeing Spencer from a distance that one night in New York felt more amazing than anything with her. She's so innocent in all of this and I can't bring myself to come to the conclusion that eventually she's going to get hurt. So I do what I do best avoid the topic._

"_So…you and Stacy seem to be getting pretty serious." I think I vomited in my mouth a little those are words I never want to say again but I'm pretending here._

"_Jerk." She pushes my shoulder and I nudge her back._

"_You're not denying it Spencer."_

"_Why? You jealous?" She's joking obviously but yes…yes I am. I am as jealous as Tito was with Michael, as jealous as Khloe is of Kim and so on and so forth basically I'm foaming at the mouth but I have no right to be._

_I have no right to be a lot of things doesn't stop them from happening._

"_You wish."_

_Yeah I know lame but that's all I got don't judge me._

"_Oh I know." She's smirking and my goodness can she wear a smirk. I bite the inside of my bottom lip as I strategize._

"_Cockiness is so sexy on you." I lean and whisper as seductively as I can and I'm literally an inch from her face, go ahead and break out a ruler if you want. I want to kiss her so bad right now. __"Annnnnnnd it's gone." I pull back and smile, hey I've got to stay strong sometimes. She goes to threaten me but stops because right now I'm tickling the life out of her. No seriously it looks like she can't breathe so I slow down and she accuses me of purposefully being seductive. "And what if I did?"_

_I know…trust me I know how lame tickling is but hey I'm a top of Spencer and you're not so really how sound is your argument. That's what I thought. She begs me to stop and my answer is the same if I was on top of her for a completely different reason. "Nope." She tells me she hates me and I know that she's joking but the thought of it makes me stop. "You take that back right now, Spencer Carlin!" I'm trying to be serious but her face is making me smile. She smirks and I want to kiss her whole face. She calls my bluff and all I come up with is "You don't want to find out." Which in translation means I got nothing, I'm still hovering over her and I gulp because I'm feeling some type of way right now and I need to get her off…get off her! I mean get off her._

"_Where are you going?"_

"_To my room. I'm going to bed." I just shrug as I try to walk away but she does exactly what I hope for. She pulls me back and this time she's tickling me._

_It mellowed out quickly but that's how it's always been with Spencer and I. Things just naturally flow as if it's always meant to. That's love though isn't it.?When you do things with a person because it makes less sense if you don't. Everything is too easy and trying not to do them…that's the difficult part._

_We manage to entangle our bodies on the couch. I'm leaning against the armrest while she sits between my legs. She won't pick a channel and as cute as it is I'm sure I'm going to have an epileptic shock if I stare as she flips through the stations any longer._

"_Spence leave it on something."_

_I probably shouldn't have said that because right now we're watching Animal Planet and she's going crazy over these kittens. I'm a dog person myself they're playful, cats…they're just planning your demise. The pounce at your feet while you're walking and trip you up and then people want to laugh it off oh they're just playful. No, no they're little schemers and they're out to get us!_

"_Oh that one fell down."_

_I toss my head back laughing as she coos at the uninjured animal. She's so damn cute. She pouts and I tell her not to but I mean she doesn't listen so I sigh and she knows she's won. She always will with me, she's won my heart and now feels like the right time to tell her. If I don't I'll combust._

_I tell her I wrote her a song and she is surprised that there's another one. I just nod and ask to play it for her. I reluctantly get up and my hand starts to shake a little as I set up to play for her. I release a long breath to regain some composure. I try to explain that it's not done, and that I don't have all the chords completely figured out but she stops me and tells me it's going to be perfect and just like she's the cure to everything else when it comes to me her confidence in me rids all my fears and I strum the first few chords of the song like I've played it a million times._

"_I know you've never loved the crinkles by your eyes, when you smile. You've never loved your stomach or your thighs. The dimples in your back at the bottom of your spine but I'll love them endlessly. I won't let these little things slip out of my mouth, but if I do. It's you. Oh it's you they add up to. I'm in love with you and all these little things."_

_I make sure to keep my eyes locked on her the whole time. Her smile makes me smile and I continue with the song with ease._

"_You can't go to bed, without a cup of Tea and maybe that's the reason that you talk in your sleep. And all those conversations are the secrets that I keep, though it makes no sense to me. I know you've never loved the sound of your voice on tape, you never want to know how much you weigh and you still have to squeeze into your jeans, but you're perfect to me. I won't let these little things, slip out of my mouth. But if it's true, it's you, it's you they add up to. I'm in love with you, and all these little things."_

_I hit the bridge and make my way to the end of the song making sure everything I'm feeling goes into everything I'm playing so she'll understand. When I finish she hesitates her applause and I know she understands everything I just told her._

_I put my guitar down and I stare into her eyes. She shakes her head and opens her mouth and all that __comes out is 'you'. I sit back down next to her and move closer to her, space is no longer an option when it comes to us. I can't be away from her. I never could and I'll never be able to._

"_I do." I confirm as I lean close to her just whispering the truth, I feel like I'm shouting though. "I love you Spencer."_

_As I say it out loud, directly to her, knowing she's hearing me I feel myself fall even more in love after admitting out loud just how much I love her._

_I know she's Lexy's best friend._

_I'm Lexy's girlfriend and I should love her but I don't…I love Spencer and I need her to know and as if she can read my thoughts she tells me in the same way I told her._

"_I love you too." In nothing but a whisper but I hear her loud and clear._

–

Chapter Title- Parachute- Kiss Me Slowly


	44. Epilogue Part 3: 4 Letter Word

This has to be the longest chapter I've ever put out in all my stories lol. I hope you enjoy it. It does have a ton of new flashbacks you didn't get to see because they were in Ashley's POV.

Enjoy!

* * *

**Epilogue Part 3- 4 Letter Word**

"I seriously wish we didn't have to come here." I roll my eyes as Spencer and I walk up the stairs to my parents house.

"Ashley your family really isn't that bad." She shakes her head and laughs. But she hasn't met Ashton and Kyla yet. And both of them are here today. Now she'll see what I'm talking about.

"Right." I nod, opening up the front door. "Mom we're here!" I shout into the house, a few moments later a familiar squeal comes from the top of the stairs. Well if this isn't deja vu.

"Ashley, Spencer!" She greets us as she pulls us into a hug.

"Mom let go." I tell her, trying to pull myself free.

–

_I wake up at the vibration at my phone going off. I rub my face tiredly and pull back a little to see Spencer sleeping. I smile as her hair covers her face. She's so beautiful and I think about how we declared our love to each other. Nothing happened, the declaration was enough and we fell into conversation the way we always do. Forgetting that other people exist in the world and it's been the best I've had in a long time it reminds me a lot of the first night Spencer and stayed up late the first night together getting to know each other._

_I sigh contentedly and push her hair from her face and place a soft kiss on her forehead. I gently pull myself from her arms and walk away to read my texts. A few from Lexy and I decide to respond to her later. Several from my mother and I groan as I remember that I promised to meet with my parents today but I really don't want to leave Spencer._

_I feel my phone vibrate and smile sadly at the name. I answer and put on my best cheery voice. "Hey Lex."_

"_Good morning baby how'd your night go?"_

"_It went well we stayed up talking all night pretty much."_

"_Well you sound a lot better than when I left. I knew Spencer could get you to cheer up."_

"_She definitely did."_

"_She's amazing isn't she?"_

_I smile as I take a peek at a sleeping Spencer. "She really is. How's your trip with your boss."_

_She hesitates for a second but I don't read too much into it she always gets nervous whenever she talks about her boss. "It was interesting but it's going well. What are you up today?"_

"_Nothing really. I'll probably just hang with Spencer."_

"_That's sounds good. I miss you."_

_I sigh and my heart breaks a little because I haven't missed her as much as I should. I tell her I do anyway after that lie she gets off the phone I'm afraid the longer we stay on the more lies I tell. We say our goodbyes and I think about my plans for today._

_I couldn't tell Lexy that I was going to my parent's house and I definitely couldn't tell her that I'm taking Spencer with me._

_I smirk as the thought dawns on me and as much as they drive me nuts I kind of really want my parents to meet Spencer. I'll whip her up some breakfast after my shower if some coaxing is necessary._

_So I'm totally not a morning person but any time with Spencer makes me happy so it just comes off as if I were. She doesn't notice me in the kitchen as she texts on her phone. I'm sure it's Madison and I'm curious to meet this other friend that's claimed the best friend title in Spencer's life._

"_Good morning." I tell her and she greets me with a smile. I get shy at the fact that I made her everything in fridge but she's a good sport about it. I don't get shy around people I'm pretty confident in everything I do and I mean everything but the fact that I'm doing this for Spencer or anything for Spencer I get nervous because for someone makes me nervous about how I'm doing something. I'm also nervous at the fact that I want to take her to meet my parents not the fact that my parents may not like her because that's far from the truth. In fact I'm sure they'll love her it's just…I try not to bring living, breathing, sensible people around them because I'm pretty certain they had a lobotomy at one point in their lives._

_I tell her I want to take her somewhere and she gets me to reveal where and she looks a little panicky. Probably how I looked when she wanted to take me to meet her parents. It's the same thing isn't it?_

_I mean yeah we told each other we loved each other last night but I'm pretty sure the feelings were already there before we even admitted them to be true so it's just as serious. She looks as though she's about to be sick and I quickly second guess my invitation. I try to back out but she reassures profusely that she would love to go see my crazy parents with me._

_I hold down my excitement and my nervousness flares up again and I take the tray of food and order her to get ready._

_I think I'm going to be sick. No seriously I feel clammy. What's that mean when you're clammy? Isn't that like a symptom for malaria?! I've got malaria we can't go. Apparently my hands and feet don't care that I have malaria because we're here._

_I pull into the very large driveway and we have a small discussion about the fact that I would do anything for her and I would. I really would because this girl…no doubt in my mind she's the love of my life. I lean forward and kiss her and announce our arrival._

_I try to ignore her reaction because few people know about my parents' wealth. It's not my money even though my parents always buy me stuff I don't take it because well I'd rather work for things myself. I value it more._

_Spencer stammers for a little bit and I pull her into the house._

"_Mom, dad I'm here!"_

_Whelp they're not here lets go. I hear a shriek and my second of excitement goes away. I sigh as I see my mother._

"_Hi mom."_

_My mother greets me and kisses me on the cheek and then lets me go to greet Spencer._

"_And you must be Lexy!"_

_Snap…yeah that's going to be a problem. I feel Spencer's eyes on me and I'm just trying to keep my __best poker face. See I never brought Lexy here obviously. It's just meeting parents, especially my parents, is kind of a big deal._

_My mom tries to get Spencer to call her Teenie goodness she's been shipping that name since I was in the fifth grade. Let it go mom!_

"_No mom, she will not call you Teenie." I ask for my dad because things have been going so smoothly so far._

_My father appears and I drag Spencer to him like a rag doll. He greets me then her and I break the second time there woulda been this isn't Lexy mishap. My dad just brushes over it like I knew he would unlike my mother and that's why he's my favorite._

_My dad pulls Spencer into another hug and I mouth an apology she's not much of a huger. We're told that there's food in the kitchen and I take the chance to apologize to her. She pulls away from my dad and her eyes are murderous._

_You think she'll kill someone with malaria?_

"_How could you not have told me you never brought Lexy here?"_

"_I don't know." I shrug and I'm definitely not making the situation better. "It's not a big deal, Spencer, It's just…not everyone can handle my parents and I didn't want to—"_

"_To what, Ashley? Nothing you say right now can excuse the fact that you—"_

_So what's the point of being asked questions if nothing I say will fix it. My mom interrupts us and Spencer does a one eighty and she's happy Hannah all of a sudden calling my mom ma'am. My mom leaves us in the kitchen and I stupidly ask if she's mad. I guess I'm an ass hat because she answers with a sarcastic statement that leads to a sarcastic question and she follows all that up with the silent treatment._

_Come on! Seriously!_

"_Spencer seriously, you can't ignore me all day."_

_She gives me this look and I'm pretty sure I've tested her patience enough to where she's going to prove __me wrong._

_So far she's succeeding and I hate it. Why does she want to talk to my mom more than me anyway I'm the awesome one. They're talking about school right now and my mom is bragging about me and it's obnoxious and it makes me uncomfortable. She reveals that I got into Tisch and I realize that if I didn't go the music route and went to school, Spencer and I could've been together for longer. It would've been the right way but right or wrong I'm still very much in love with her. It was inevitable._

_She breaks and asks me a question. Ha! She quickly realizes she broke her ignore Ashley game and slaps her head. I answer as smug as I can. We have a little banter and she reminds me that she's still not talking to me even though she's talking to me. We have a stare off and then my mom's question breaks our little competition. She asks Spencer why she's in Tisch and now it's my turn to brag._

"_She's amazing mom, you should see the pictures she took of me and the band. They're freaking amazing."_

_My mother scolds me for saying freaking. Really? This only leads to my father telling my mother to leave me alone and reminds her that I never visit. Thanks dad you could've stopped at 'leave them alone'. I just ignore them because this is normal and I'm just splashing a dry Spencer._

"_Ashley, Francesca called."_

_Way to ruin life mom bringing up Francesca. "I already told you mom, I'm not doing it."_

_My parents bought me the penthouse suite of the Ritz Carlton. My dad jumps in and since this is going to get heated real fast. I need to get out of here. I snap at my mother but make sure I'm not a complete ass. I get out of the water and I hear Spencer follow me._

_I overhear my parents arguing and I groan in annoyance as my mother wraps Spencer in the argument. I am so sorry Spencer. I grab a drink and just sit on the stool at the island and try to calm down. The only thing that works is the sound of her voice._

"_I'm sorry I brought you here. I don't know what I was thinking." I roll my eyes at myself, why did I think it was a good idea I'm such an idiot. My parents complete lunatics I can barely stand them how __can I expect people who are strangers to them to. She tries to play it off and say it's not a big deal but I know she's a little weirded out._

_I'm ready to go and I tell the maid to let my parents know we're leaving because I'm not going back into that warzone._

"_Is this why you never brought Lexy here? You didn't want to see what your family was like?"_

_She asks me and I really think that's only part of the answer. I think it's more of the fact that I'd only want my parents to meet the person that I'm truly in love with and if they can deal with my family…then maybe they can deal with me._

_She calls me and I already know what she's going to ask. I don't really want to go but we all know whatever Spencer wants I'll give her. I easily break down and drive in the direction of the hotel that I never go to. _

"You're such an idiot!" I sigh at the sound of my sister's voice.

"Kyla cut it out!" My mother shouts and leaves me and Spencer alone again.

"Home sweet home." I mumble unenthusiastically and Spencer squeezes my hand lovingly and turn to her and give her a sad smile.

"It'll be fine baby come on let's go."

She pulls me further into my house. No seriously she's pulling me I don't want to be here but I have to talk to my dad.

"Ashley stop struggling." My beautiful girlfriend tells me with a laugh and we get further into the kitchen closer to the yelling.

"Mom he ruined my brand new Prada bag! There are only five of these total, five!"

"Oh so you can count!" My older brother Ashton shouts back. I just shake my head.

"Can you two please stop it! I'm getting a headache and your sister is here."

I really wish she didn't announce me now I actually have to interact with them. Both my older brother and sister look at me for a moment before making sure they make it observant that they are blatantly ignoring my presence. You feel that? That's love right there.

"You shouldn't have put your bag on the counter in the kitchen where food and drinks can easily spill."

"I hate you! Daddy!" Kyla grabs her ruined purse and storms out of the kitchen and my mother sighs walking in the other direction probably to get a glass of wine.

My brother mimics my sister as he lifts a glass of water to his lips and I see him staring at my girlfriend. Not in that curious way either in that judging kind of way.

"Who are you?" He asks pompously.

"Watch it." I say protectively and he just scoffs rolling his eyes.

"I'm merely asking a question little sister is that a crime?" I just glare at him and he smirks devilishly at me. "So who are you?"

I look over at Spencer as she lets go of my hand and walks towards my brother and holds her hand out. "I'm Spencer Ashley's girlfriend."

My brother looks at her hand then back at her. I clench my fists as my anger grows. Spencer looks back at me then faces my sibling again dropping her hand at her side. I'm about to defend her to my rude ass brother but she handles it on her own.

"Oh so you're ambidextrous? You're right you don't want to tire either out cause I'm sure they're really busy when you're alone."

My brother glares at my girlfriend with fire in his eyes and smile at her proudly. Chuckling softly at the girl I've fallen for she steps back and puts her hand back into mine. I feel a peace overcome me at the gesture.

"So Ashton how's Paris?" I try to kill some time as I wait for my dad to appear I would go looking for him but I don't want to run into my sister, or my mother.

He shrugs and leans against the counter. "Well you know…Paris is Paris."

I just roll my eyes. My brother is an asshole.

"So how is…I'm sorry I don't know anything that you do?" I stare at him blankly.

"Fine."

"Marvelous. Well as pleasurable as this is I must go." He doesn't specify but he has nowhere in particular he needs to be he's just a jerk.

Spencer turns to me and smiles softly. Seriously love this woman. "You're adopted right?"

She asks and I can only laugh because seriously I've looked for the papers myself. I shake my head with a smile and kiss her softly. "I love you."

She smiles widely and I can totally wake up to the smile everyday for the rest of my life.

"If it isn't my favorite daughter!" My dad announces as he enters the kitchen. I smile and because I know he's telling the truth.

"Hey dad."

"Baby girl. Spencer."

"Mr. Davies…Raife." She quickly corrects as he glares at her playfully. He feels old when someone calls him that.

Before I can get a word Kyla comes storming back in and starts slamming cabinets like the child that she is. Really I'm the baby of the group and she's claiming that spot for her own. Typical.

"Kyla stop slamming the cabinets." She groans and crosses her arms and I notice Spencer's less than pleased face. My father just shakes his head and groans. "You mentioned you wanted to talk to me sweetie."

"Uh yeah…can it be in private though?" He nods and I turn to Spencer. "I'll be right back."

She gives me this face and it's been growing more worried with every private conversation I have. Just hang in there Spence it'll all make sense soon.

She opens her mouth to protest and I really do feel bad leaving her alone here, especially with my bratty ass sister. I don't take my eyes off of her but lose sight of her when I turn the corner into the foyer to speak to my dad.

"So what's up honey?"

I work up the courage to ask my father for some help. I've been doing so much without either of my parents help but I'll overcome my pride to give Spencer a future that she can pre proud of.

"Okay there's this house in New York that I've been…"

"Say no more, how much do you need?" He starts walking towards his office I'm guessing to get his checkbook.

"That's it, I had like a whole speech planned and…"

He laughs as he opens up the door and walks towards his desk. "Honey stop it, you know I'd do anything for you."

"I know dad I just don't want…"

"I do not think you're like your brother and sister." Okay he's creepy. "I'm not creepy."

Ah! Get out of my head.

He sits in his leather chair and grabs a pen and checkbook. He looks up at me expectantly. I sigh and rub the back of my neck.

"Dad I'll pay you back."

"Pay dad back for what?" Kyla asks as she barges into my dad's office. I groan and roll my eyes.

"Kyla can you get out!"

She just scoffs at my annoyed request and drops into the seat in front of the desk. He stares at my older sister with a disapproving look.

"Kyla please give Ashley and I some privacy."

"But why I haven't seen Ash in so long I just want to know what's going on in her life."

She whines out and if I hadn't been around her my whole life I'd totally fall for that. My dad just shakes his head and knows the only way to get rid of her is to tell her something she wants to hear.

"Ashley's moving to New York for good." He tells her dryly as he starts to fill out the check but I hear a bit of sadness in his voice.

"Does that mean I get to have the penthouse!" She shrieks and shoots up with excitement.

"No!" I protest quickly not knowing where it came from.

"Why not you don't even stay there or want it."

She's right but it holds so many memories, I can't just give it up like that.

"_Holy crap." I smirk at Spencer's reaction as soon as we step out of the elevator. That was mine the first time I stepped in here and I knew it was too much. Spencer makes herself comfortable and I can't help but marvel at the idea of having a place like this with her someday. _

_I usher Francesca out of the room. There's no need for her to be here. She's got a family and I'm sure she'd rather spend time with them than do things that Spencer and I are more than capable of doing ourselves. Plus more time alone with Spencer is extremely pleasing. _

_We spend more time talking and though that's not the idea I had in mind it's still nice to getting to talk to her. We have a little playful banter and she reassures me that I'm the only one she loves. I'll never get tired of hearing her telling me that. It hurts to tell Lexy though that I love her because I know it hurts Spencer and I'm letting Lexy think I love her the way that I love Spencer when I don't even though I should. _

_We get word that Madison is grounded for the night and we have the rest of the day to ourselves. Spencer decides to try everything that the hotel has to offer. If it were anyone else I'd find this obnoxious but she's just too damn cute to think anything bad about her. _

_We spent the day getting massages and I swear if I get one more massage my body will definitely melt into nothingness. I feel so relaxed it may just be because Spencer's grazing my hand with her thumb as we watch Titanic, the one with the alternate ending. I mean really how much of an alternate ending could this movie have. No matter what the ship is still going to sink. _

"_All I'm saying is that Rose should have sat Indian style or something." Cleary Spencer is upset that the ending is not alternate at all. Jack still dies, the ship still sinks, and the little old lady still throws __that jewel in the ocean. Selfish…the amount of time that guy spent looking for it anyway tangent. I come up with an idea to cheer Spencer up and really who doesn't feel better after several episodes of FRIENDS._

_Spencer is lying in my arms and I never felt more comfortable in my life. She cuddled up into my side and I hope she doesn't hear how fast she makes my heart beat that'd be rather embarrassing. I mean I know she knows how excited I am when I'm around her but she doesn't know just how much. It starts to beat faster as she drags her lips over the nape of my neck and I fight back a moan. Once she places a firmer kiss onto it I can't hold back the sounds that emits from my throat. _

"_Whatcha doin?" I ask playfully but she doesn't answer me with words but drags her tongue slowly up my neck. Dear God she's killing me. I grip her waist once she settles down on me and look into her eyes. They're so dark and I don't blame her because the little things she does turns me on so much. I push some of her hair from her face and guide her head down to capture her lips with mine. _

_I love the way she kisses me, she's told me that before but I never told her but I do. I show her the best way I can as I slide my tongue in her mouth I feel the heat between my legs growing quickly as the warmth of her mouth dances on my tongue. I suck on her tongue gently and she moans I'd smirk but I'm on a mission. _

_I flip her onto her back taking control of the situation, pinning both her hands above her I slide my free hand under her shirt. She feels so good. My body is buzzing and now my love for her is taking control as my desire grows. She starts to grind her hips into me and I quickly match her strides. I'm lost in her, she's my drug, I'm addicted and don't dare try to get me rehabilitated. I need her, I crave her and I can't stop myself as I kiss my way down my hand moving faster and then it comes to an abrupt halt as I feel her body tense under me. _

_I quickly sit up because I don't trust my body to calm down while it's still on hers. I'm so turned on right now and I need a minute. I get off the bed because I'm still too close. I try to calm my breathing down because not once have I ever been this enticed by someone before. My body is on fire and I she __sets it ablaze and can control all at once. I need her to but I know we can't. _

_I shake the images of everything I want to do to her from my head and bite my bottom lip to keep myself from screaming with frustration. I can't take this. _

"_I can't be near you." I whisper pathetically as much as I would love nothing more we can't go there. I don't want her to be that person. She breathes out my name and the way she says it does nothing for my nerves. I beg her, I'm backed up against a wall and it's ironic how literal and metaphorical the action is. _

_She comes closer to me and seriously if she gets any closer I'm not going to be able to stop myself. I try to offer so many suggestions to do something else. Something that doesn't involve us being so close to each other. _

"_I can't take this." She tells me and boy she has no idea how much I can't either. _

"_Your camera." I blurt out and I have no idea where I'm going with this. "Can I see the pictures you took."_

_She relents and I'm grateful that she does because I needed some space. We go through the pictures and I feel myself settling back to some form of normalcy. She really is so talented and I know she'll only get better. It's a shame that she keeps her art hidden, they should be big enough for everyone to see. _

_I don't know how it happened but we ended up in another tickle fight I can't not be on her. She draws me in somehow. We end up in another predicament that makes me want to devour her and I'm trying so hard to not have us go there. _

"_Maybe we should just go to sleep."_

_She climbs off of me and I want to cry. I close my eyes and shake my head annoyed. This is not going so well at all. She just slips under the covers and I'm grateful the bed is as large as it is. The glow of the television is the only thing that's lighting up the darkness in the room. Spencer doesn't say a word to me and I miss her already. I stay awake and think about a way to make up for all this confusion, to __make up for all this stop and go that we're going through. I stare at the ceiling and the thought dawns on me. I smile and easily slip out of bed without disturbing her. Pretty sure she's a heavy sleeper. _

_I make a call and get things in the works. I use the little bit of connections I have through my parents and I steal Spencer's camera but I manage to take a picture of us before I send them to my friend. I hope she likes the surprise I have in mind. _

_After staying up all night I finally get a call that everything is ready. I had to lock Spencer in the room and she is not a cooperative prisoner. Mmm Spencer in handcuffs, okay let me get back on track. She loved the surprise to say the least and I was glad I was able to help her get into the gallery. She deserves the best and I'm going to do my damndest to give her that and then some. _

_Lexy is back in town and it's nice to see her bubbly personality again. I miss Spencer though. I hope that's not too apparent though because Lexy has been super affectionate and I can't deny her but it pains me because I feel like I'm betraying Spencer. I'm thinking about this the complete wrong way. She has my car so she could take Madison around. _

_As my girlfriend and I drive towards Spencer's house she's telling me about her trip, she reaches a certain part of her trip and skips over it. I narrow my eyes in confusion and she seems a bit flustered, I don't push her though. We arrive at Spencer's and Paula lets us in. She winks at me as we enter and I blush softly. Someone is on our side. _

_Lexy scares Spencer awake and I can't help but laugh at her reaction. My girlfriend informs her of our presence and to be honest I could care less about my car I just want to see the girl I'm deeply in love with. She's shy about her appearance as she fixes her bed head but I think she's beautiful. I'm staring at her lovingly and I'm doing a terrible job at being subtle. I'm such an ass for not caring more I know I am but my heart has been leading every ounce of emotion, action, and thought that filters out of me. _

_I finally get to meet Madison and she's scary as hell. I don't if she puts up this front if she's really like this but I love how protective she is of Spencer. She seems to know our situation and the fact that she's not being judgmental makes this just a tiny bit easier. I guess there's more people on our side than I __thought. I shouldn't feel good about this though. Spencer and I easily decide to hang out due to Lexy's interest in our plans. The fact that she trusts us so much makes this easier and harder at the same time. It should not be this easy to betray someone I claim to love. I'm going to hell. I'm the most awful person in the world. I'm too busy condemning myself that I don't notice Lexy talking to me. _

"_Tell her the good news Ash!" With that Lexy leaves and Spencer and I are alone. The urge to kiss quickly arises and the closer she gets the more I want her. I know that if I try to kiss her she'll deny me because she hasn't freshened up yet. So I order her to do so and she pouts but does so anyway. I hear her shower go off and I groan, I just thought she was going to brush her teeth. I take a seat on her bed and try my best to wait patiently. _

"_Back." She announces and I'm so thankful because it was torture waiting for her. As usual we fall into easy banter as she walks over to me in nothing but t her robe. I pull her close to me by the string of her robe and once our bodies connect my lips copy the action. I moan at the feel of her on me and I've missed her so much it's been way too long. I slide my tongue inside her mouth and let my eyes wander towards the string of her robe and I'm feeling exactly like I did the last this happened. The last time we were so close to going that far. I want to be sure that what I want to do is okay with her and I pull back from our kiss and lock eyes with her. She nods and undo her robe. A breath escapes me as my eyes scan her body. _

"_You're fucking beautiful." I manage to whisper out because she is breathtaking. I see her lick her lips and I swear my knees go weak. She grasps the back of my neck and I swear the action alone makes me so wet. She pulls me into a heated kiss and I easily get lost at how much I want her right now._

"_Spencer your mom said…" Oh come the fuck on!_

_Spencer quickly ties her robe back up after Madison barges in. I hide my face I'm not entirely sure why it just seems like the thing to do. Madison makes a comment and I can't help but laugh because this girl…kinda funny. _

_Spencer snaps at her and I laugh some more and it gets worse when Madison calls me hot. Madison __finally leaves and I wipe a tear from my eye as I regain composure and Spencer is hitting me and she leaves to get dressed. Well thanks for that Madison. _

_Madison is definitely a handful. She's high maintenance but her outlook on life extremely entertaining. We make a plan to spend another day at the hotel and I swear it's only because it makes Spencer happy that I'm doing this. Other than that I would never have stepped foot in that building let alone the room. We split up so Stacy and Spencer can have alone time and I am not a fan of the idea. _

_Them alone especially since she and I have spent so much time alone. Done so many things together…alone. I adjust in my seat as my mind wanders back to Spencer naked. I slam on the gas as we head towards the hotel and Madison is yelling at me in Spanish. She threatens me and I slow down and try my best not to crack under the pressure coming from Spencer's best friend. _

_She shoots question after question and makes me swear never to hurt Spencer. I would be offended but given the circumstance I'm in I can only comply. I would never hurt Spencer though…the pain at the thought alone is unbearable. I love her way too much to make her feel anything but joy. _

_I pull up to the valet and when I step foot out of the car I close my eyes in defeat. The pictures. _

"_Madison I need your help."She quirks a brow at me._

"_Hm I don't know you well enough yet for you to be asking me to do stuff."_

_I groan and Aiden wraps his arm around Madison's shoulders. "Babe let's help her out."_

_Oh Aiden you're my new favorite person. She scoffs and I clench my teeth in frustration because I'm trying to keep things under wraps before they explode. Thank goodness I texted the guys to meet us here so they can help too. _

"_Yo Ash!" I turn and she Joey getting out of his jeep and I sigh. Speak of the devil…_

"_Thank goodness you guys are here. I need your help." _

_It took me showing the severity of the situation for Madison to help out. She takes position downstairs while the guys move the picture and seconds later I here Spencer barge come inside a bit panicked. She calms once she sees that I've taken care of the situation. Obviously everyone knows now and the only __person that's not a fan is Mikey but that's because he and Stacy were best friends the longest and I think at one point he had an unrequited love for her. He's probably still not over it. Once the picture of me and Spencer cuddling is taken care I hold her hostage in the bedroom ushering everyone to leave. I lock the door making sure not to have an accident like this morning and rush over to her. She was saying something about MacGyver and I'm sure it was funny but right now I need to feel her. I kiss her hard, I don't stop the roughness of it either as I push her onto the soft bed and fall on top of her. I slide one hand up her shirt and I really can't withstand the urge much longer to have her as mine. _

_I'm hers. I have been for a really long time. From the second I laid eyes on her she had me. There's no doubt in my mind that I will only be Spencer but I need to tell her just in case she isn't aware of it. Regardless if she wants to be or not she is. _

"_You are mine." I tell her each word slowly making sure she knows it making sure I know it making sure these walls know it because they will hold this secret for us. She's mine, I love her, I need her, and I can't be without her. _

_Our breaths are heavy and I stare into her beautiful blue eyes and I see so much love in them. I need her to tell me. I need to make sure I'm not the only one. There are so many things unsaid between everyone else and us that we can't afford to keep things unsaid between each other. _

"_Say it." I order her. It's urgent. I can't be gentle about it this is serious and I've got so much authority behind my voice I see her gulp at how demanding I am. I'm more turned on though as she musters up some authority of her own as she demands that I go first. _

"_Spencer. I'm yours. So totally and completely yours." _

_She kisses me deeply and it's smooth this time. She's sealing this promise with a kiss and I do the same. She pulls back and I miss her already. _

"_And I'm yours."_

_I really don't like going to clubs but the majority won. Even after Spencer and I claimed ourselves to __each other I did something fueled by jealous. I invited Lexy over, she had called and asked where we were and she told me she was tired from work but I kind of pleaded her to come. _

_I couldn't help it she's with Lexy and they're being all couplely and I swear I'm being such a brat. I know I only put Spencer through this only a little over a month ago and she handled it…sort of. I led the girl I love to drink because there she is drinking a seven and seven and getting drunk pretty quickly. I try to take the drink away from her but she just slaps my hand away. Mean._

_We end up on the dance floor somehow and the music is slow. Lexy's dancing pretty intimately and it feels good. I momentarily get lost with her because I remember just what it was about her that attracted me in the first place. I smirk as we dance and then I take a look up at Spencer and Stacy and I'm quickly sobered up. What Lexy and I had was nice but there's more passion with Spencer and I. Its natural and I wouldn't trade it for anything. I just think of everything that got us here and how badly I'm hurting the girl that is dancing on me right now. Pain from that and pain from the way Stacy is dancing on Spencer is quickly making every ounce of jealousy boil in me. I watch as my friend snakes her hand in places only my hand is allowed to go to. _

_I see a look on Spencer's face it's one she's given me a number of times and it's directed towards my pianist. She wants to do so many things to Stacy and I really hope it's the alcohol running through right now making her think all these things. She catches me staring and I look away and I'm grateful that I catch Madison breaking up the couple and their slow dancing. _

_I get tired of pretending. I ask Lexy if we can stop and she doesn't ask any questions. Only minutes later Spencer and Madison come back to the table. Everyone joins in on the banter and I'm not even present. All I see is Stacy touching Spencer and I don't even feel Lexy touching me and all at once this guilt washes over me because here is Lexy being super attentive and all I care about is how close Stacy is to Spencer. _

_Lexy leaves the table and I quickly rush away. All this noise and chaos is overwhelming and I rush to the only sort of quiet place. The bathroom. I feellike I can't breathe and I'm not entirely sure what to __do. I barge in and the girls in here already look at me strangely. I don' t even care I just rush into a stall and lean against the door. I try to catch my breath and I'm so over this. All this lying all this cheating, all this pain I'm feeling and causing and more specifically keeping it a secret that I'm in love with this beautiful girl who has made everything about my life so much better in so many ways. _

_I hear her call out to me and she continues to prove that she is the cure to everything wrong with me. I calm down at the sound her voice and as soon as she knocks I let her in because I need to see her. She asks me what's wrong and it's probably easier to tell her what's not. I start to cry because tears flow easier than words. She coos me and I don't hold back. _

"_It hurts Spence. It hurts seeing you with her. I can't do this anymore." I love Spencer and I can't keep that a secret seeing someone I'm this in love with knowing they love me just as much and someone else gets to hold them is killing me. How is Spencer even doing this. "I need to tell Lexy. I need to tell her because I love you Spencer and I can't keep pretending when I'm around her that I don't. All I think about all the time is kissing you, calling you baby and holding your hand." I shake my head because I see myself doing all these things in my head and it quickly gets replaced with Stacy doing all the things I just mentioned. "But I have to sit and watch Stacy get to do all those things and it kills me, like I know it kills you to see me with Lext. We can't do this anymore. I can't keep you a secret anymore. I've never done this baby. I've never even thought about another girl besides lexy since I've been with her. I would never—"_

_I don't want her thinking this is normal for me. I respect being in a relationship and being with that one person I truly do but this…this is so far gone and I can't control it. It's not fair to anyone and I don't want to be this person, hurt Lexy the way I have and most certainly not Spencer. This isn't a norm for me disregarding the love someone has for me but Spencer…My God Spencer she's the girl I didn't wait for and now I'm in this situation hurting everyone wishing I had. It has to stop. _

_We talk some more and I calm down. I know I need to fix this. I'm the only one that can I have to end things with Lexy. _

_We all decide to head back to the hotel and I'm glad that Lexy is extremely patient and was able to understand about why I kept my family and the hotel a secret from her. Everything is so complicated that the result of the reveal is simple and I couldn't be happier. After having the boys play hide the picture again for the second time that day we all get ready. The rest of the night went so merrily and the alcohol continued. I stopped and so did Spencer and because everyone else has no sense they can't tell the secret I love you's we're sending each other. _

_We sort out the sleeping arrangements and everyone I'm sure is passed out but I can't even get drowsy. I lie awake thinking about everything. How to handle everything and how much I love Spencer and realize that the love I have for her controls a lot of what I do, who I am, and the thought scares me momentarily. I turn on my side and my thoughts consume my mind, constrict my heart and nothing is easing the stress that's building. _

_I sneak out of bed before Lexy wakes up. I pass by the group as they nurse their hangover and ignore the jeers that are thrown at me. I'm not in a social mood at the moment. They just want to celebrate the great new but as great as it is. I don't feel great about anything. I stare out onto the skyline as I think. I feel her approach, not hear….feel. I feel this completion build in me and I know she's around._

"_What are we doing Spencer?" _

_I know we just went over this last night but just because it was talked about it doesn't mean anything is resolved. I don't feel better about anything. _

_She stands next to me and we keep silent for a minute. The only noise coming from the people in the streets, Spencer tries to joke but it doesn't work. I want to smile but it's not working. I tell her I'm serious and she tells me to be more specific. _

"_It'd be so much easier if I didn't love you." The words fall from my life and just the thought of not loving her hurts but not as much as the thought of her not loving me. _

"_Easier for whom?" She asks me and I suddenly don't know. _

"_You remember when I told you a while ago not to date Stacy?" We go over the event quickly and __establish the purpose for going down memory lane. I didn't have a reason for Spencer not to date her. Stacy is perfect. Stacy is uncomplicated and Stacy doesn't have to lie about how she feels for Spencer. _

"_You deserve so much better than this Spence, so much better than me. Stacy is uncomplicated and I know that she really like you. You need to be with someone that's available to love you like you deserve to be loved…" I start to cry as I try and be a martyr of love. I don't like this way but it's best for her because as much as I want to be with Spencer I don't want to hurt Lexy she doesn't deserve this. _

_Boasting up Stacy is killing me but I want Spencer to be happy and I can't give her that right now. I try to apologize for our situation and she stops before I can finish. She tries to reassure me and I wish it wasn't working. I just want the hurting to stop for everyone but most especially for her. If I tell Lexy I'm hurting yet another person and then there's Stacy. I'm doing all this and if I know Spencer is happy with Stacy I'm the only one that's hurting. I'm the only one in pain and everyone else is good more specifically Spencer is good. I'd rather me be miserable than her and everyone else. _

"_I love you Ashley Davies and nothing you say or do could change that. Okay?" _

_Hearing her say that makes me smile and I just nod leaning forward to accept the kiss she is giving me. I love this girl so damn much, I think it'll be the death of me. We discuss the sign with the record label, the signing party, and the upcoming tour. She eases my heart, my mind, and everything else and now I can be excited about my dream coming true. _

_The day commences and everyone goes about doing their own thing. Both girlfriends go to work and Spencer and I bring Madison and Aiden to Mrs. Williams. She bluntly makes our situation notable. Showing that what Spencer and I have is beautiful but it's only ugly because we're going about it the wrong way. Not that I wasn't aware of it before but she reminds up just how rare our love is, it's true love and we're meant to be. We won't get rid of it and I really don't want to. I love the way I feel around Spencer and I love the way I make her feel but I know there's still so much more to discover. _

_The rest of our visit, to the drive back to the hotel, until now I haven't stopped thinking about what Mrs. Williams has said. I'm on the balcony in my room and I spend a lot of time thinking, trying to figure __things out when I know how this will all end already. Spencer wraps her arms around me and I release a heavy sigh._

"_The sigh sounds full of emotion."_

"_I'm just thinking."_

"_About?"_

_I smile shyly as I prepare to tell her the answer. "Us and what Mrs. Williams said."_

_I can say it several times and it will remain true. Spencer is the one I want to be with in every way you can possibly be with someone. I love her and I want her in so many ways. This attraction, desire, and fervor I have for her. It's more than infatuation and I know even if we went that far it'd make things even stronger. It'll make my love for her harder. The more I think about it the more I want to. But I know that if we take this step we've done the ultimate betrayal. _

_I shake my head as the thought occurs to me…what's worse than emotionally cheating, though my heart already belongs to Spencer even though it should belong to Lexy. I guess I never gave it to her, it's been Spencer's, I've been Spencer's, and now…I want my body to be Spencer's. _

_She says that she hates that this is so complicated and I easily agree with her because I really don't want to hurt Lexy but I already have going as far as we have. I've resulted to a 'might as well' attitude, it seems that way but it's so much more than that. Spencer's my soul mate and I can't deny myself to her. _

_She tells me she loves me and I swear I love her more. I kiss her sweetly and I tell her I have a song for her. They're so easy to write when she's my muse. I've never written as much so quickly until she became my inspiration. She makes a joke asking when don't I write songs for her but the motive of the song, the message behind it is so serious and I have to show her that I am. _

_I order her to sit down and she does so without hesitation. I need her to know my heart, behind everything that I'm telling her. That even though I'm betraying her best friend that it's not casual, it's not a fling, this is serious shit. I'm so in love with her and I need to show just how much, through ways __you can only prove by making love to someone. That they can only realize when you bring them to an edge only a lover can bring them to but I want to be more than her lover because Spencer has become my life. _

_I start to play and I don't even flinch, or hesitate the way I would with other songs. My nerves are steady because I need to show her I'm sure. I'm sure about myself, I'm sure about us and I'm sure about everything I'm about to say. _

_I look up at her and I know my eyes are heavy with desire they have been since the second. Desire, love, a promise to be the only hers that and so much more are hidden in my eyes and she's the only one that can read them as she looks at me deeply with her blues. I read the same thing in her eyes and I'm positive this is what needs to happen. _

"_Moment of honesty. Someone's gotta take the lead tonight. Whose it gonna be? I'm gonna sit right here. And tell you all that comes to me. If you have something to say. You should say it right now. You ready?" The chords change as she goes into the bridge. "__You give me a feeling that I never felt before. And I deserve it, I think I deserve it. It's becoming something that's impossible to ignore. And I can't take it."_

_I watch her as she closes her eyes. I'm drowning her with my love and I'm overjoyed that she's picking up what I'm laying down. I don't even want to know what I'd feel like if she hadn't. _

"_I was wondering maybe, could I make you my baby. If we do the unthinkable, would it make us look crazy. If you ask me I'm ready. If you ask me I'm ready. I was wondering maybe. Could I make you my baby. If we do the unthinkable would it make us look crazy. If you ask me I'm ready. If you ask me I'm ready."_

_I'm so ready. I'm so ready to make her mine, I'm ready to be hers. We claimed it and though they weren't just words but promises we must back it up with actions because I have the most beautiful woman in the world in front of me and it's killing me not to devour her. I see her contemplating the decision and I know my next line will reassure her. _

"_I know you once said to me. "This is exactly how it should feel when it's meant to be". Time is only wasting so why wait for eventually? If we gon' do something 'bout it. We should do it right now. You give me a feeling that I never felt before. And I deserve it, I know I deserve it. Its becoming something that's impossible to ignore. It's what we make it."_

_I strum my guitar into the next part of the song but I'm stopped when Spencer wraps her hand around the neck muting the sound. She whispers yes kneeling in front of me and even though it was the answer I was hoping for, I'm still a bit surprised that's the one she is giving me. She pulls me into a kiss and I don't hesitate to instigate the very thing we've both been wanting for a really long time. It gets heated quickly and I don't bother to wait. Oh I'll take my time but I need to feel her so I slip my hand under her shirt and my body is buzzing. _

_Unbeknownst to me we make it to the bed and I feel like I'm on a drug. That drug is called Spencer and my goodness does she do things to me. _

_I drag my tongue along her bottom lip, she grants me access and I get lost in her even deeper than I already have been. _

_Whispered I love you's confessions of how rapidly we make our hearts beat, and touches that linger are hidden in these walls. It will forever be a memory held here and in our hearts. _

"Kyla the place is mine! If you want a penthouse suite somewhere why don't you stop wasting mom and dad's money on shitty bags, and trips to places you don't even remember because you get to messed up every time you party, and splurging on friends that aren't even your friends!"

Kyla's eyes are wide and I hear my dad snicker quietly. Kyla stands up and straightens out her outfit, giving me a death stare, one I easily throw back at her before she storms out of the room like the brat that she is.

I look over at my dad and he has a smug look on his face and blush shyly.

"I thought you didn't like the suite we got you?"

I shrug. "It has a lot of memories."

He just shakes his head with a smile and writes me a check, I sigh with a heavy heart because I really didn't want to take this route but I'll get over my pride to give the world to Spencer.

"I promise to pay you back dad." I assure him. Right after our next bonus, I'll be paying back every cent.

"There's no need Ashley." He waves me off. "You know that."

"Yeah, I know dad. But I want." I nod and smile as he pulls me into a hug.

"You were always my favorite you know." He says with a grin as he rubs my head.

"Yeah, yeah." I chuckle, slapping his hand away.

After I finish with my dad I make my way to the kitchen and meet with Spencer she's sitting on a stool and looking adorable and she smiles once I catch her eyes. My heart swells up I seriously am the luckiest girl in the universe.

"Hey baby sorry about that." She just shakes her head as I walk over to her, giving her a chaste kiss. She pulls away but I instantly miss her lips she rolls her eyes playfully and gives me another kiss, this one lasts a bit longer and I'm grateful because my girl can kiss.

"It's okay did you handle what you needed to handle?"

"Yup and we can go because if we stay any longer I'm sure my sister will murder me. " She scrunches her face in confusion. "I told her she couldn't have something and you never tell Kyla she's can't have anything. "

"Hm I suppose I understand."

"You do?"

"Yeah because if someone told me I couldn't have you well then…" She gives this serious face and I burst out laughing.

"I love you crazy." She flashes me a smile and shrugs turning to head towards the front door. I yell a goodbye in the house for everyone to hear. My mother pops out of nowhere asking why we aren't staying longer and I sigh. "We have to get to the rehearsal dinner for Ms. Williams' ."

She pouts and I actually feel bad because I know it's hell being in the same house as my brother and sister and I wouldn't wish that on anybody…not even my mother.

"Let's grab lunch before I leave though okay mom?"

She smiles widely. "I'd love that honey. Thank you."

I smile and she gives me a hug. I don't know what came over me…probably should get an MRI.

Spencer coos at me as we walk to the car. I just shake my head and tell her to shove it. She drops her mouth at me stealing her line.

"I'm telling Madison!" She says.

"No! I'm sorry…"

"Shirley Temple please." My adorable girlfriend asks the bartender as we stand at one of the three bars in the hall where Ms. Williams' is having her rehearsal dinner. I sip my beer and lean in to kiss her forehead.

"Did I ever tell you how cute you are?"

I bite my lip as I fight back the smile of her cute self tilting her head to think, sipping on her freshly delivered drink.

"No, no I don't think so."

"Well…"

Just as I'm about to compliment my girlfriend my phone goes off and I tell Spencer one minute so I can answer the call and I see her face fall. I've been sneaking away a lot and I know she's growing a bit discouraged and confused as to why I've been disappearing so much.

I take my call and it's one of the producers at the studio making sure to have the right track for tomorrow. I notice Madison talking to Spencer and then she takes a quick glance in my direction I gulp in fear and I hurry to end the call before Madison makes her way over to me. I slip my phone in my pocket.

Madison marches towards me and I hear Spencer tell her "don't" but Madison listens to no one.

"Hey Madison." I greet her nervously. She arches a brow and I really hope I don't wet my pants.

"You better tell me what the hell you're up to Davies, these secret phone calls, private conversations, your ass is not in no CIA and Spencer won't admit it but she is worried. Do not make me beat the truth out of you because I damn sure will. I am looking way too fine and these heels are new to be beating your ass so save me the hassle and save yourself the hurt because I swear if you are…"

I cut her off highly offended. "I am _not _cheating on Spencer. I would never hurt her like that she's the love of my life." Any mustered up courage I had quickly dissipates as I look into Madison's fiery eyes..

"Start talking…"

I sigh. I guess one less person will be surprised. I have to tell her though I haven't been this scared about a secret since Lexy approached me last summer.

"_Lex?" I call out as I drop my keys on the counter. I missed coming home to Spencer it's always nice knowing she's around now she's at the cookout her family is having and I want to be there but I had some band stuff to take care of and Lexy urged me to come home. I don't want to cause too many red flags to go up right before I end things with Lexy. I think the best way to say this is to tell her that I don't feel the same way she feels and that it'd be best to end things. I don't want her to hate Spencer and after last night I can't let things go any further with Lexy with how things are going with Spencer._

"_Hey." She says giving me a sad smile. I furrow my brows and walk over to her placing both my hands on her arms rubbing them gently. _

"_Hey, you alright?" She just nods softly not saying anything. My heart races with worry as I try to figure out what can upset her if she figured out what is happening between Spencer and I, I'm pretty certain that she'd be flipping out and not letting me hold her. _

"_Can we talk?"_

"_Yeah of course, come on lets go sit down." _

_I lead her towards the couch and sit her down next to me. As we sit I remember Spencer and I lying here a few days ago in each others arms. My thoughts cut back to Spencer kissing on my neck and I cross my legs as I fight the image of her between them._

"_I just…I know I've been working a lot and I just wanted to spend some time with you. We've both been so busy and…"_

_I smile sweetly at her and pull her close to me."Say no more."_

_She sighs in relief and snuggles into me placing a kiss on my neck. It feels odd. I feel like I'm cheating on Spencer. Oh the irony. We get comfortable on the couch and Lexy turns on the television and I let my mind wander as she flips the channels. I sigh as I contemplate just how to tell her things are over. She stops switching stations and looks up at me._

"_Are you okay?"_

_I force out a smile and nod. "Great babe." I watch as she pulls herself away from me and turns to face me, crossing one leg under the other. She plays with her finger looking down into her lap. "Lex what is it?"_

"_I…I really love you Ashley. So much." Oh crap. "I just I feel like lately you've been pulling away from me and I don't want to lose you ya know?" She keeps silent and I assume I'm supposed to say something but I can't so I just nod because I do know. I only know because that's how am with Spencer. "I really see a future with you and want to be with you but I can't shake this feeling like…" She takes a deep breath and I'm growing more nervous by the second. "Are you not happy with me?"_

_My eyes shoot open. That's not it at all I honestly believe that if Spencer hadn't come into my life I could have lived a happy life with Lexy. Unfufilled, but happy life because let's face it, she's a sweet girl but that's all, she's sweet. Spencer…Spencer makes my insides melt, takes my breath away, turns me on, makes my heart race, being in love with Spencer makes me realize I've never been in love before. That I was never really in love with Lexy._

"_God no! I mean yes...Okay no Lex you make me happy you really do." _

_That's the first honest thing I've told her in a long time. _

"_So you're not cheating?" My face falls and she's quick to apologize. "I'm sorry I just. I don't think you'd ever do that I just can't help but think that I've been so busy…" She explains how she got to this conclusion and right now the little devil on my shoulder is laughing at me because I'm going to hell. _

_I could fix all this with the truth. Tell her I'm in love with her best friend but I'm a coward and the way she bears her heart out to me makes me shrivel up and any backbone that I did have is now gone. I can't hurt this girl she doesn't deserve it. I need time to figure out how to deal with this and deal with it the right way. There are too many hearts involved and only one chance to do it right. _

_I pull Lexy into a hug and hold her tightly. She sniffles a little and I feel guilty for leading her to cry. I run my fingers through her hair and rock from side to side. _

"_It's okay Lexy. I love you too, and I'd never intentionally hurt you. You mean a lot to me and believe me when I say I'd never want you feeling the way you do right now. I'm sorry I've been so distant things have just been happening left and right and I'm sorry. I'm so so sorry, I can't apologize enough."_

_I'm apologizing for more wrong than I'm letting on because I know this will probably be the last apology she'll want to hear from me for a while. She pulls back and kisses me deeply. I feel my heart breaking because I don't want to do this to Spencer but at the same time Lexy is my girlfriend. I'm so torn and conflicted. We break from the embrace and just hang out for a bit. _

"_You want to go to the cookout?" She asks me with a smile. _

"_Let's just hang out alone for a little while longer."_

_She smiles brightly at the idea and cuddles into my side again. _

_I'm so screwed. _

Madison squeals and I widen my eyes. "Calm down will you, I just…I'm trying to make it a surprise and very few people know so don't be all girly. Don't say anything to Spencer either!"

"I have no idea who you think you're talking to telling me what to do like that."

Scary Madison is back.

"Baby I'm so sorry she didn't attack you did she?" My girlfriend checks me for imaginary wounds and scowls at her best friend playfully.

"Please if I did anything to your girl she would not be standing."

I point to my lips and pout. "She punched me in the mouth babe."

Spencer tuts and Madison just scoffs walking away. We both giggle at the Latina as she goes back to the bar and orders her drink.

"Should I kiss it and make it better?"

"That is why I pointed out the location." She smiles and kisses me gently.

"These are the two love birds that I admire so much." I pull away from my girlfriend and smile at Ms. Williams and her fiancé.

"Oh well we admired you first." I answer and she waves a bashful hand. "It's nice to finally meet you Mr. Radin"

"Likewise I've heard so much about you girls. I think she talks about you more than her kids." He jokes and she swats his arm.

"These girls are my kids too, you silly man." He laughs and kisses her temple. Aw old people are so cute.

"Where are your kids by the way Ms. Williams?"

"Oh they'll be here late tonight they all caught late flights because of work and they arrive to late for tonight's dinner. Speaking of dinner let's eat shall we?"

"Lead the way!" Spencer shouts and I shake my head, she has a not so secret affair with food.

_I smell the food as we drive down the block to Spencer's house and I'm trying not to let my excitement __of seeing her control my acceleration on the gas pedal. We get to the house and just as Lexy is about to open the door it swings open to reveal a very miffed Spencer and…fucking Carmen! What the hell is she doing here?!_

_I stare at her with so much hate in my eyes. I take a quick glance at Spencer and she's trying her hardest not to look at her best friend the way I'm looking at Carmen because right now my arm is wrapped around Lexy's shoulder to be honest I don't even know how it got there. She lets us know where everyone is but we linger in the living room. _

_Spencer comes back later and Lexy is quick to go find out the inside scoop. I'll ask about it later when I'm alone with her. Spencer looks at me but for the first time, I can't look back. I know she's disappointed that I didn't end things with Lexy the way I said I would. Spencer walks away from her best friend and goes upstairs. Lexy tells me that she and Stacy broke up and I make up some excuse to go check on her. Lexy doesn't give it a second thought and encourages me to go. _

_I knock on her door and peek my head in. I ask to come in and she doesn't say anything she just waves me in and I know things are bad but I'm sure we can fix it. _

_I apologize for what happened between her and Stacy and she snaps at me. I slightly stumble back at the harshness in her voice and narrow my eyes. I'm a little confused as to why she's so angry and just answers in her normal sarcastic way. I ask her if she's upset and reach out to her and she denies me. A part of my heart breaks. _

_I call out to her again and I'm slightly panicking now. What's happening, the last time she denied my touch she broke down within seconds. I say her name nervously, she calls me clueless and as much as I want to deny it I am. I beg her to talk to me and I'm not prepared for what she's about to say. _

"_You had the chance, the perfect chance to end things with her…and you didn't." She starts to cry and I reach out to grab her but her denial makes another piece of my heart break. I don't like this feeling. I open my mouth to say something but have nothing so I close it just as quickly. _

"_It wasn't the right time." I say and it honestly wasn't. I just…she was so upset and she doesn't deserve __the hurt that it's going to bring, at least in the long run Spencer and I would get each other and Lexy will get heartbreak she doesn't deserve. I can't do that to her. Not after the way she's been so good to me. I have to do this respectfully and I know that sounds like an excuse and pathetic but after everything it's the least I could do. _

"_When will it ever be the right fucking time?" She shouts and I get nervous because I don't want anyone, specifically Lexy, to overhear because she thinks I'm up hear soothing a hurt Spencer when in reality I'm adding more hurt to what she's already feeling. "It's never the right time to break someone's heart Ashley, but we have to do it. I broke up with Stacy, you should have seen the look on her face, you think I wanted to do that? Or that I liked it? She was so good to me and I did that. I did that because it had to be done. I knew that I could never love her because my heart…my whole fucking heart already belongs to you." _

_She's full on sobbing and I just want to hold her. I am trying to stay strong and not cry at the scene in front of me. I beg her not to cry I reach for her tears but she pushes me back shaking her head. _

"_I feel like I never had a chance. That you were never gonna leave her. You tell me that you will and that you love me…." No. "But not enough to leave her I see." She steps back but I step forward my heart isn't breaking piece by piece anymore it full on drops to the pit of my stomach and I feel like I can't breathe because she's about to do what I know I won't be able to handle. I beg her to not say what I know she's about to. "I won't be this girl anymore." My breathing picks up and I wipe her tears away. Maybe if we're close she'll forget this crazy idea. She'll realize this is crazy and she'll stop. I tell her I love her hoping that'll help. "I can't do this Ashley." _

_I hear nothing now. Those are the last words to echo through my ears and I want them to stop. I swallow the very large lemon in my throat and clench my teeth and if this is how it feels to lose Spencer I'll break anyone's heart. I just…I can't. Please no…_

_No. _

"_Don't do this." I whisper. I move towards her lips I just need to kiss her, feel her. Please Spencer __don't…I'm begging you don't._

"_I'm not the one doing this." _

_This pain is overwhelming I need to fight harder, say more words, do something but nothing is happening. She tells me she's not the one doing this and I know it's not, it's me but right now she has the power to stop this hurt I'm going through. Is it not hurting her? This is excruciating. I beg her to stop I beg for more time to tell Lexy, I'll do it if she'll just take me back I'll do it. She tells me my time has run out and asks me to leave. She won't even look at me and I need her to kiss me, forgive, tell me she understands but she doesn't. She tells me to leave. I tell her I don't want to and after I say that Lexy shouts for me. I sigh in defeat and Spencer runs into her bathroom. I walk over to her door and lean against it. I don't have the heart to cry out to her because all I hear is her crying. I catch my breath and try to get myself together before leaving and heading downstairs to Lexy. _

_Only one day passes and I swear I never called Spencer's number so many times. I've been spending so much time getting ready for the signing party, spending time with Lexy and I've managed to text and call Spencer through all of it. I haven't slept. My last several calls have gone straight to voicemail. _

_She finally answers and I'm so used hanging up and calling back I almost hang up on her. She doesn't sound happy to hear from me and that hurts me because I've missed her so much. _

"_Oh my God Spence. I…" _

"_Babe you coming?" _

_I groan quietly as my frustration with Lexy grows because I know Spencer heard her. I quickly stop her and apologize again and tell her that I'm gonna break up with Lexy. She cuts me off before I can even explain myself further._

"_It's not about you anymore Ashley! I've given you enough time to do this. It's been going on way too long now. I just can't do it anymore. I don't think we should see each other anymore while I'm here."_

_I gasp at the request and I thought the break up was bad but now she doesn't want us to see each other. Fuck that!_

"_No!." I shout and I don't even care that Lexy can hear me. I don't care anymore. "No. I will not do that Spence. I won't—" _

_She cuts me off again and I'm getting more upset. She tells me again that she can't do this anymore and leaves. She just leaves…_

_I feel myself float out of my body and watch myself breakdown. This isn't happening. _

_I don't even know how I functioned to this day. We're at the signing party and I know Spencer will be here. Lexy said she doesn't know why Spencer's been MIA but that she's going to get Spencer and bring her to the party. Knowing Lexy Spencer will definitely be there and I'll talk to her then because I can't deal with this shit. It's only been a couple days and if I can't handle two days I sure as hell am not dealing with forever. This is not the outcome that I'm supposed to have with Spencer. We are supposed to be together and I'll make her see that. _

_She and Lexy arrive at the club and I can't keep my eyes off of her, it feels like ages since I've last seen her and it's like I'm rediscovering just how beautiful she is. I see Stacy talk to her and I successfully break away from Lexy with some lame excuse and cut Spencer off._

"_You're here." Ugh…what the hell was that? That was just awful. Plain awful. Of course she's here you dumb nut! She's standing right in front of you. Now is not the time to not have a proper holding on conversation you need to fix things. _

_She tells me it's a mistake and turns to leave. I grab her but not forcefully because I'm not tryna have a Chris Brown moment here I really love this girl. She orders me to let her go and I ignore the request. She keeps telling me and I keep ignoring her as I pull her into what happens to be some sort of supply room. I don't care to investigate to long to figure out what it is because I kiss her and hard. _

_It's rushed and rough and it hurts so good but I tell her as much as I can in that kiss. I beg for so much in that kiss and if that wasn't enough I pull away telling her I love her hoping she'll hear me. She tells me she knows and I tell her again her response is repeated much like my admittance of love for her. I tell her I've been trying to talk to Lexy but every time I do her face makes me cower I feel so guilty but __I want to be with Spencer so much she tells me we don't have to talk about it but I need to. I can't do this without her. I don't want to be without her. I beg her to promise me she'll wait and she does but it's so weak that I know if I don't do something and soon...I'll lose her. I've gotta do something because losing her is not an option. _

_She leaves me and my mind is zeroed in on getting Spencer back. I try to keep to myself until it's time to get on stage but Lexy decides to come talk to me and wish me good luck. Thankfully the time is here and Mikey clicks us in. _

_Every song I ever wrote for Spencer is played. I'm on autopilot as I think about this whole summer. Think about how we met, how we fought this love we had and how we've overcome that fight. We didn't lose though I won her I won her love, her heart and she's won everything I have to give her and I can't let this go. She's the only person I see and I play the final song I forget that there's other people in this room. I forget that Lexy's in this room and I forget that she's my girlfriend, that I'm the girl that she loves, and that she's Spencer's best friend. Too much is at stake and this is the worst possible way to go about it but I can't keep my eyes off of Spencer. I notice a small panic on her face but I have to do this. I have to prove to her that she's the love of my life and hurting someone over her isn't an option. I don't care who hurts as long as it's not her._

_I stare at her with love in my eyes and I'm sure I'm obvious to everyone. That's how I want it to be because from this day on my love for Spencer will not be a secret. It's too powerful, she means too much, and I need her more than I've ever needed anything in my life. Every cliché love song, movie, poem all fits me when it comes to her. She's my love and I don't care who knows it no matter the consequence. _

_I finish the song and Lexy jumps from her chair and Spencer is quick to follow. I call out to her and she yells at me. It's too late to fix things with Lexy but Spencer's been the one that's consumed my mind since day one. I know I look like an asshole and frankly I don't give a damn because I love this girl and if you say you'd handle things better than I had well I say fuck you because I was too busy falling in __love with this girl, so thinking straight wasn't on my list of things to do. I tried to be good I tried to do the right thing but ignoring how you really feel, ignoring what makes you happy, what gives you life and purpose, and a dream to chase after if that's not something worth pursuing worth fighting for then I don't know what is. _

_I chase after Spencer as she chases after Lexy. We barge out of the club and I see my parents. Icing on the cake everything I ever kept from Lexy is all coming out tonight. _

"_Ashley we just met Lexy she seems a bit disturbed."_

"_Not now mom!" I yell as I run after Spencer. _

_I try not to lose them as they make their way to Lexy's car. Spencer is yelling for Lexy to wait and she finally stops. Her eyes bore into mine and I know I'm in trouble. _

"_What the fuck was that?!" She yells . "You're chasing the wrong person." She adds and I know that's a complete lie I'm chasing the right one the circumstance right now just makes it seem wrong. "We have to find Lexy, we have to explain."_

_I understand where she's coming from and I want to make sure Lexy is okay I just want to make sure Spencer's okay first. She's about to cry and I attempt to approach and she yells at me. Guess we're not there yet. _

"_No! Why did you do that?"_

"_I couldn't help it. I just needed you to know, that you're it Spencer, You're the one for me. I needed you to know that I won't stop loving you just because you think it's what's best. I wrote that song after our talk the other day. I didn't mean to hurt Lexy, I never did, that was never my intention but hurting you seemed so much worse." _

_That's all of it that's exactly how I feel and will always feel. Spencer will always come first. We have a mini argument and despite everything she would rather go and chase Lexy. _

_We start running again but not for long as we come to a halt at Lexy's car. Spencer is begging for her best friend to get out of the car and I'm watching like some kind of idiot with nothing to say. I'm sure __I'm the last person Lexy wants to see but apparently me asking her to get out of the car instigates her action. _

"_Fuck you Davies! My best friend! Of all people?! Who the hell do you think you are? Don't ever talk to me again, I hate you…"_

_That cut deep but nothing I wasn't expecting. I know I hurt her and I don't deserve her forgiveness. I hurt a completely innocent person and nothing can excuse that but it happened and I can't take it back the girl I fell for completely worth it. _

_I try again and tell Lexy that we're in love and Spencer tells me to shut up. My heart breaks at the request but I do what I'm told because I know I'm just making things worse. The only sound I make is my surprise when Lexy thought that Spencer was in love with her. _

_Where the hell did she get that idea from? Spencer tells me to can it and I'm really annoyed at the fact that I'm being treated like a child. Lexy gets into her car and she looks like she's about to run Spencer over. I quickly grab her and hold her because it's never felt so good to do so. Just as quick as it happened it's over. She tells me to go check on Stacy._

"_Are we going to talk about this?"_

"_No." She walks away and a part of me is scared its for good._

"Ugh I'm exhausted. Yay bed!" Spencer leaps onto the bed in my room at the suite and I giggle at her. She flips around and lies on her back.

I crawl on top of her and gently kiss her. She groans as she pulls away from me.

"What's the matter?" I ask as I drop onto my side tangling our legs together.

"Don't get me riled up because once we get started we're not stopping and we have to be at the ceremony early tomorrow."

I sigh deeply and lie on my back. She links our hands together and lift them up to my mouth and kiss them.

"I love you so much Spencer."

She lifts up and looks into my eyes. "I love you more…you alright?"

I smile softly as I look at her face. "More than, as long as you promise to always be mine."

"I promise." She answer quickly.

"I'm glad you didn't have to think about it." I say with a laugh.

She just shrugs and lies back down nuzzling her face into my neck. I giggle at the little tickle it causes.

"What's there to think about? I love you, you love me. It's simple."

"Easy as one two three."

"Oh simple as do re mi."

"A, B, C."

"One, two three baby you and me girl. So Michael why do need me to reassure the obvious fact that I'd be with you forever."

"Just making sure I'll never lose you again."

She leans down and kisses me. "Never again."

_Spencer's been sitting outside Lexy's house and not answering my calls so I had to send Joey to take her some food. I know she's being extreme but I know she's doing everything that she can to get Lexy to talk to her. I know that she's not ready to talk to Spencer yet and I know neither of them are ready to talk to me but I'm more worried about losing Spencer than anything. So I'm giving her space. The hardest thing about giving her space is well the whole space thing but I can only comply if there's any chance of her hearing me out. _

_I'm staying at the suite because there's no way I can go back to Lexy, at least not yet and everything reminds me of Spencer and life fucking sucks. I drop onto the bed and it's been days since I've talked to her and I've wandered around here and I haven't left the place since I've been here. _

_My phone rings and it's Paula. I answer the call._

"_Hello?" _

_I sound dead. I'm sure Paula is just making sure I'm okay and I'm not. She's been doing that lately. _

"_Ashley you need to get to the airport."_

_I quickly sit up._

"_What?" _

"_Get to the airport now…Spencer's leaving." _

_I don't even say anything back I quickly get up and grab my keys. I know I've probably broken so many laws. Goody two shoes Ashley has no time to be cautious. Being cautious does nothing, being cautious is just another way of being scared. I don't know where I parked but I'm sure I'll find my car sooner or later. I see her as she gets her bags together._

"_Spencer!" I yell and I need to get to her. I rush over to her and she looks surprised. She tries to stop me but it's my turn to cut her off. She's gotten plenty of chances to do that, for me to hear her out but now she's going hear me. "You were just gonna leave without telling me?"I'm so mad and hurt and I want to cry. She's more focused on how I know than anything else and it's killing me more that that's her main focus. _

_I'm begging her to stay, to figure this out, because after all we been through it can't be for nothing. It couldn't have meant nothing. I tell her I love her and she tells me the same but her actions digress from what she's saying. She tells me it's for the best and she must be delusional because it can't fix a damn thing. I beg her not to do this, giving her one kiss hoping it'll wake her from her psychosis. It doesn't. She just grabs her things and walks away, from California, from me, from love..._

* * *

Chapter Title: Diggy- 4 Letter Word


	45. Epilogue Part 4: Unfailing Love

Well this is it guys. The last chapter. I hope you enjoyed it. Just to everyone that's wondering, this will be my last story for a while if not for good. I just haven't been able to come up with anything these days. Maybe that'll change down the line after a break. Thanks for putting up with me for all this time though. I'll be doing a lot of editing on all my other stories to make them a bit better so if you want you can go back and take a peek at those in a couple months.

Thanks for reading and enjoy this final part!

* * *

**Epilogue Part 4- Unfailing Love**

Today is the day... what day you may ask? Well today is Ms. Williams' wedding day but its also the day that... how about I just make you wait and see.  
Cruel?

Meh. You'll live.

"Ash you ready to head out?" Spencer peeks her head in the bathroom and asks as I'm staring at myself in the mirror. I smile and nod, giving myself a final once over.

"Mhm." I say, turning around to face her. My breath hitches when I see her. "You look... wow... amazing." I finally get out. She smiles shyly, looking down at herself.

"Aw thanks baby." I move closer to her, lifting her head up with my index finger.

"No Spencer. You look fucking..." I trail off as her eyes connect with mine. Yeah I cant remember what I was gonna say. All I know right now is that I want to kiss her. So I do. The kiss quickly becoming heated as we make our way out of the bathroom and into the room. We kiss our way to the bed, never breaking contact.

"Ashley, we're gonna mess up our-" She's not able to finish her sentence as I reconnect or lips. I know what she's tryna say but right now, I really don't care. We can do our hair, make-up, and put our clothes on again. It only took us like two hours the first time. "Ashley we really can't-"

"I don't think I've ever wanted you more than I do right now." I whisper, cutting her off.

"But you have to be at the wedding in like an hour." She says in a pleading tone. "The band has to..." She trails off as I start to kiss on her neck. She wants me to stop because we really do have to go but I know she feels what I'm feeling too. That need to have her in ways I feel like I haven't in days.

When I'm pretty sure it was just yesterday. But that's neither here nor there. Right now I just want to be kissing my girlfriend.

"Are you two done getting... oh." Madison stops in her tracks as she sees me unzipping Spencer's dress. "Of course you two are trying to have a quickie." Madison sighs and shakes her head before leaving the room. Shutting the door behind her.

Spencer and I stare at each other for a moment before we burst into laughter. As we sigh out of our laughter we lean our foreheads against each others.

"We really do need to go."

"Yeah, I know." I groan placing another chaste kiss on her lips. I zip back up her dress the small amount I unzipped it, kissing her back, neck and lips again. "I love you. We'll finish this later." I assure her. She smiles and turns towards the door.

"I'm sure we will."

–

"_Dad, how do you know when you love someone?" My eleven-year-old figure looks up and asks._

_My dad looks down to me with a smile. "Is there any particular reason you're asking this Ashley?" He questions, raising a brow at me._

"_No." I shake my head quickly. "I was just wondering. How'd you know you loved mom?" _

_He narrows his eyes at me before smiling and looking away. "You just do." He shrugs as we watch the waves crash against the shore; something we did nightly. Having a house on the beach in L.A is one of the best things about living in L.A. "It's a feeling you get, or a series of feelings really. Sometimes it's at first sight and sometimes it takes a while, but when you know, you know sweetheart." _

_I turn away from my dad, admiring the ocean. I've always loved the beach. The salty air and the sand. The laughter that carries through the air from the families playing in the water. _

"_I think... I think I many love someone dad." I say suddenly, I turn my head slightly to look up at him. He doesn't look mad. I think I expected him to be angry, I'm not sure why. It's just how I pictured it. _

"_Who is this little boy and do I need to clean my gun?" He jokes, chuckling as he pulls me closer. _

_How do I tell him this?_

"_Dad it's um... it's not a boy..." I trail off, afraid of what may come next. I look up at him again and his face surprises me. He doesn't look angry or disgusted. He's smiling. "You're not angry?" I question in a small voice. _

"_No." He shakes his head, smiling. "Why would I be upset with you sweetheart?" _

"_Because I'm different." I reply quickly._

_He pulls me onto his lap, wrapping his arms around me. "That's one of the many reasons I love you so much." He kisses my forehead. I smile as he pulls back, wiping some tears I didn't even know had fallen. "Tell me about this girl you think you love." _

–

"See Spencer we rushed." I tell my girlfriend with a sly smile as Madison makes a gag sound.

"This wedding just had to be at the beach didn't it." Madison shakes her head as we walk towards the beach.

"Yeah Madison, Ms. Williams totally did this on purpose in hopes you wouldn't come." Spencer quips.

"Watch it Carlin or suffer my wrath." Madison turns to Spencer and says seriously.

"I'm quivering in my Manolos." Spencer rebuttals playfully.

Umm... she better be.

"You trying to die today?" I question my girlfriend, peeking behind her to Madison.

"Wait bitch what? You have on Manolos, lemmy see." Madison reaches down to lift up Spencer's dress. "Ahh! How dare you!"

"They were a gift from Ashley." Spencer says matter-of-factly, causing Madison to give me a death glare.

"Um..." Yeah that's all I got. I'm genuinely scared for my life.

"Oh I got you bitch. I only took up for you, kept your best friend from finding out about you two before you were ready for her to, covered for you guys a few times and backed you guys' relationship for all those months last summer. No biggie." Madison says sarcastically.

"And you're measuring all that in the form of a pair of heels?" Aiden asks his girlfriend.

"Mind your shit before I bury you in this Devil awful sand."

"Devil awful?" Aiden questions.

"Well I'm sure as hell not gonna bring God into this, clearly this is the work of the Devil." Madison says rolling her eyes as we walk down the covered pathway towards where all the chairs are set up. To our right I see a small beach house and I figure that must be where Ms. Williams is getting ready.

"I wanna go say hello to Ms. Williams before we sit." I lean over and tell Spencer.

"K, I'll come with." She nods. "We're gonna go say hello to Ms. Williams, you guys can go sit." She tells our friends who nods. I'm sure Madison doesn't want to walk on the sand any more than she has to.

"You really do look amazing Spencer." I tell her for probably the hundredth time as we make our way to the dressing room.

"So I've heard." She smiles, intertwining our fingers. "Not as amazing as you though." She counters.

"I've got nothing on your beauty baby." I lean over and kiss her on her temple as we stop at the door and knock.

"Ashley, Spencer!" Ms. Williams shouts as she pulls us into the room and into a hug.

Someones excited.

I smile as she pulls back, releasing us.

"Ms. Williams you look.. amazing." Spencer breathes out, grabbing Ms. Williams' hand to spin her around. I nod in agreement.

"Aw thank you girls." She tells us, grabbing and squeezing our hands. "There's some people I want you two to meet." She smiles widely as a group of people walk in the door behind us. What were they doing, waiting for a cue or something? "Spencer and Ashley, this is my family. My daughters; Haley, Lauren, Mckenzie, and Jessica, my sons; Jackson, Ryder and Sam. And these are all my amazing grand-kids." She says as twenty-four sets of eyes stare up at us with smiles. "I'm far to old to be expected to remember all these names aren't I?" Ms. Williams asks her children who all laugh.

"Of course mama." The one introduced as Mckenzie tells her, patting her on the shoulder as she steps out from the group and over to us. "We just wanted to say thank you." She smiles, pulling Spencer and I into a hug.

Um... what's happening right now?

"For?" Spencer asks, when the woman pulls back.

"Taking care of our mother when we couldn't." Ryder speaks up.

"Well you have an amazing mother so no need to thank us." I assure them.

"We'd like to thank your mom for not calling the cops on us." Spencer adds and the group chuckles. I guess Ms. Williams told them about that little debacle.

"I'm glad that I didn't." Ms. Williams smiles and nods.

We all stand around for a moment smiling at each other and it's getting kinda awkward.

"Well, we're gonna go take our seats and let you finish getting ready." I tell Ms. Williams, pulling her into another hug. "You look beautiful." I whisper in her ear. She smiles as we pull back. Spencer hugs her after me. "It was so nice meeting all of you finally." I tell her children and grandchildren before Spencer and I leave and head out to take our seats.

"I'm so happy for her." Spencer whispers as we sit down, fairly close to the front.

"Yeah." I nod. "Me too, Ms. Williams deserves it."

"Yeah, they're so lucky."

"Yeah." I smile. "But right now I feel like the luckiest girl on the planet. I get to sit next to the most beautiful girl in the world." I add causing Spencer to blush. I lean over ad kiss her cheek.

"Well if it isn't K-stew and Rupert." Spencer, Madison, Aiden and I all turn around to see Lexy sitting behind us, holding the hand of some girl I've never seen before.

Wait what did she just call us?

"Hi Lexy." Spencer mumbles softly. I really hope Lexy doesn't make a scene. We've been on semi speaking terms since the whole signing party deal went down but she has never actually seen Spencer and I as a couple.

"Right, hi." She turns to Spencer and gives her a fake smile. She gives Madison the side eye. I don't think she really understands who she's messing with.

"How've you been?" Spencer asks.

"Just peachy." Lexy answers quickly. "How are my favorite behind my back couple?" She asks, looking back between the both of us.

Sigh.

She's trying to make a scene.

Madison stands up and I know things are about to get bad. "Um you need to-"

"Lexy come on, you said you wouldn't-" I cut Madison off, trying to calm things down.

"And I'm not." She shrugs, cutting me off. Clearly she is.

"Lexy if we could just talk then maybe-"

"No thanks." Lexy purses her lips and shakes her head as she sits back in her chair. I grab Spencer's hand and squeeze it. I know how much she wants to mend things with Lexy, but this is Ms. Williams time right now and I don't want anything to ruin it.

"You know what, no. I'm not gonna just sit here and take that." Madison says suddenly. She turns to Lexy. "Spencer knows she messed up, this whole situation was messed up. We get it. But it's been almost year now and no matter how mad you stay at her, it won't change the fact that they're in love. They love each other and if you were a true friend, like you claimed to be... you would understand that and you would forgive her. They made a mistake in the way they went about it and they get that. But what kinda friend wants to see the other one miserable?" Madison finishes as Aiden tries to pull her back around. She snatches her arm away. "We all go through heartbreak in our lives, the strong people are the ones that choose to move on from it. Clearly you're not one of those people." She finishes with an eye roll before turning back around in her seat. I watch as Lexy face falls. The random girl next to her squeezes her hand, much like I did Spencer's moments ago.

I turn back around in my seat as the rest of the guest settles into theirs. The music starts playing as the wedding party comes in.

"_Settle down with me, cover me up, cuddle me in. Lie down with me and hold me in your arms. And your hearts against my chest, your lips pressed to my neck. I'm falling for your eyes, but they don't know me yet. And with a feeling I'll forget, I'm in love now." _Ms. Williams' twelve grand-kids are so cute. The little girls walking down the aisle dropping flowers.

"_Kiss me like you wanna be loved, you wanna be loved, you wanna be loved. This feels like falling in love, falling in love, we're falling in love. Settle down with me, and I'll be your safety, you'll be my lady." _I never realized how big her family is.

_"Settle down with me and I'll be your safety, you'll be my lady. I was made to keep your body warm, but I'm cold as the wind blows so hold me in your arms."_

When the music changes to a tune Spencer recognizes she turns to me and smiles and I hear Lexy scoff behind us. She didn't know that Ms. Williams' would be using one of my songs to walk down the aisle to. I figured I'd be a nice surprise to hear it. We all stand as we wait for Ms. Williams to walk out of the beach house. Mr. Radin smiles widely in anticipation.

"You didn't tell me that she'd be walking to your song." Spencer leans over and whispers.

"Your song." I correct her.

"_You know I'd fall apart without you. I don't how you do what you do. Cause everything that don't make sense about me. Make sense when I'm with you. Like everything that's green girl I need you. But its more than one and one makes two. Put aside the math and the logic... of it. You gotta know you're wanted too." _It feels weird to hear my voice coming out of the speakers so loud. I remember sitting down and writing this song for Spencer. It took me all of an hour to write it. Spencer as my muse... endless possibilities. We all turn and smile as Ms. Williams finally emerges from the beach house. She's so tiny and just... beautiful. I've come to love this woman like family. I seriously couldn't be happier for her.

"_Cause I wanna wrap you up, I wanna kiss your lips. I wanna make you feel wanted. I wanna call you mine. Wanna hold your hand forever. And never let you forget it. Yeah I, wanna make you feel wanted. "Anyone can tell you you're pretty._ _And you get that all the time. I know you do. But your beauty's deeper than the make up and I wanna show you what I see tonight. When I wrap you up, when I kiss your lips. I, wanna make you feel wanted. And I wanna call you mine, wanna hold your hand forever, and never let you forget._ _Cause baby I wanna make you feel wanted." _As Ms. Williams slowly makes her way down the aisle, smiling at everyone that has come to this beach side wedding, all her friends and family. People that love her dearly, here on her big day.

"_As good as you make me feel, I wanna make you feel better. I wanna make you feel better. Better than your fairy-tales, better than your best dreams. You're more than everything I need. You're all I ever wanted. And all I ever wanted. And I just wanna wrap you up, wanna kiss your lips I, I wanna make you feel wanted. And I wanna call you mine, wanna hold your hand forever and never let you forget it. I wanna make you feel wanted. Baby I wanna make you feel wanted. You'll always be wanted." _

The song finishes just as Ms. Williams makes it to the altar.

"You may be seated."

–

"_I never knew such a day could come, and I never knew such a love could be inside of one. I never knew what my life was for but now that you're here I know for sure."_

"You look so beautiful." I whisper to Spencer as we dance at the reception. I know the band will have to go on stage and play in a little while so I want to spend as much time with her as I can before then.

"Ashley stop." She blushes, slapping at my arm.

"_I never knew til I look in your eyes. I was incomplete til the day you walked into my life. And I never knew that my heart feel so precious and pure, one love, so real."_

"I'll never tire of telling you that."

"_Can I just see you every morning when I open my eyes? Can I just feel your heart beating beside me every night? Can we just feel this way together til the end of all time? Can I just spend my life with you?"_

"I love you." She smiles at me and now it's my turn to blush and look away. "No." She turns my head back to face her, looking me in my eyes. "I really love you Ashley."

"_Now baby the days and the weeks and the years will roll by. But nothing will change the love inside you and I. And baby I'll never find any words that could explain just how much my heart, my life, my soul you've changed."_

"I know. And I love you Spencer, more than you'll ever know. More than any amount of words will ever be able to express."

"_Can we run to these open arms when no one else understands? Can we tell god and the whole world I'm your woman, you're my man? Can you just feel how much I love you with one touch of my hand? Can I just spend my life with you?"_

"I kn-"

"_No touch has ever felt so wonderful, you are incredible. And no deeper love I've never known. I'll never let you go. I swear this love is true. Now and forever to you, only for you, to you." _

"Can I cut in?" We turn to see Lexy standing there. Does she literally want to cut one of us or something cause I know she's not trying to dance with either of us. But she stands there waiting for an answer. Oh I guess she does want to dance.

"_Can I just see you every morning when I open my eyes? Can I just feel your heart beating beside me every night? Can we just feel this way together til the end of all time? Can I just spend my life with you?"_

"Yeah sure." I let go of Spencer and start to walk away.

"_Can we run to these open arms when no one else understands?" _

"Actually, I wanted to dance with you Ashley." She stops me.

_"Can we tell god and the whole world I'm your woman, you're my man?"_

"Oh." I turn, just as Spencer head drops. I guess she was hoping Lexy was finally going to talk to her. "Sure." I nod.

_"Can you just feel how much I love you with one touch of my hand?"_

"I do want to talk to you though Spence, just give me a sec okay?" She says softly to her ex-best friend. Spencer nods and heads off toward where Madison and Aiden are dancing.

_"Can I just spend my life with you?"_

"What's up?" I ask as we start to dance.

"_Can I just spend my life with you?"_

"You know for a while I hated you." She starts, looking up at me. Way to start a sentence. "Like really hated you."

"_Forever here with you."_

"Gee thanks."

"_Can I just spend my life with you?"_

She chuckles a bit before starting again. "What I'm trying to say is that, yes for a while I hated you, but it wasn't because you fell in love with my best friend behind my back or even that you cheated on me. If anything I hated you for being happy. I'm not a complete idiot, I kinda felt what was happening between you and Spencer. I could see it in your eyes... and hers..." She pauses, turning to look at Spencer who's slow dancing with her brother Clay and laughing with her family and friends. "You found your epic love." She starts again. "I thought I'd found mine in you but I know now that wasn't the case. You and Spencer were made for each other. I'm not over how it all went down, that's gonna take some time, but I am happy for the two of you. Everyone deserves to find their soul mate. It sucks that yours just so happened to be my best friend." She laughs. I haven't seen her this... Lexy... since everything went down.

"_Can I just see you every morning when I open my eyes...oooooohhhhh."_

"Yeah I'm sorry—"

"No." She shakes her head. No need for apologies, we're way past that Ashley. I just wanted to tell you that I forgive you. You know, if that mattered to you."

"Of course it matters." I tell her quickly.

"Well good." She let's go of my hands and steps back. "I'm gonna go talk to Spence." She nods her head in my girlfriends direction. I nod and give her a small smile. I'm sure Spencer is gonna be thrilled.

"Hey wait." I stop her as she turns to leave. "That girl you with, is she..."

"Yeah." Lexy nods and smiles. "And she really amazing. I'll introduce you guys later k?"

"Yeah, I'd like that." I nod.

"As long as you promise not to steal her." She jokes, raising a brow at me.

"I promise." I nod and chuckle. She smiles before walking away. I watch as she walks over to her best friend with Madison glaring at her. I laugh and shake my head at that girl cause I mean, you gotta love her. The conversation between them is short but ends in a hug, which is always good.

"Let's clear the dance floor for the bride and grooms first dance please." The DJ tells the crowd. As the newly wedded couple makes their way onto the dance floor the band and I make our way onto the stage to serenade them.

"This is a song that I wrote especially for the bride and groom. Mrs. Williams," I pause and clear my throat. "I'm sorry Mrs. Radin." I correct myself quickly as the crowd chuckles a bit. "You have no idea just how amazing of a person you are. Mr. Radin you're a very lucky man. You've found the absolute most amazing woman on the planet and if you hurt her you'll have to deal with me-"

"And us." The band says behind me.

"And us." Madison, Aiden and Spencer all add.

"Not to mention us." Mrs. Williams' family shouts.

"Got it." Mr. Radin says holding up his hands in defense as the crowd chuckles.

"Anyway, as lucky as you are Mr. Radin, I'd like to say that Mrs. Radin is extremely lucky too. It's hard to find love and even harder to keep that love..." I pause, glancing at Spencer who gives me a soft smile. so without further ado, please..." I gesture for them to move further onto the dance floor. "Enjoy this time you have together." I finish, turning to the band with a smile. We've rehearsed this enough to know what it backwards and forwards.

As Mr. and Mrs. Radin take their stance Stacy begins on the keyboard and I ready myself to sing.

"_The day we met, frozen I held my breathe. Right from the start, I knew that I'd found a home for my heart beats fast, colors and promises. How to be brave, how can I love when I'm afraid to fall. But watching you stand alone. All of my doubt suddenly goes away somehow. One step closer. I have died everyday waiting for you, darling don't be afraid I have loved you, for a thousand years. I'll love you for a thousand more." _I smile at the love of my life. Spencer has no idea how much I love her and how long I've waited for her. All the girls I've ever dated could never compare to the amount of love I feel for Spencer. They couldn't even come close.

I can't help but blush as she returns a smile and Andrew picks up the lyrics. _"Time stands still beauty in all she is. I will be brave. I will not let anything take away, what's standing in front of me. Every breath, every hour has come to this." _

Andrew and I both sing. _"One step closer."_

I pick back up with the entire band backing me up._"I have died everyday waiting for you. Darling don't be afraid I have loved you for a thousand years. I'll love you for a thousand more. And all along I believed I would find you. Time has brought your heart to me, I have loved you for a thousand years. I'll love you for a thousand more." _

"_I'll love you for a thousand more." _We all sing. _"One step closer."_

The music drops out as I sing the next part acapella._"I have died everyday waiting for you."_

As the music slowly comes back in my heart swells at the sight in front of me. Not only how absolutely beautiful and happy Mrs. Williams looks but how this entire past summer put all this in motion. If it had not been for Spencer and I breaking into Mrs. Williams' back yard that day none of this would be happening, or so she says. And if I hadn't gone to play at that party in New York I wouldn't have met Spencer when I did. And who knows, I could possibly still be waiting for her. _" Darling don't be afraid I have loved you for a thousand years. I'll love you for a thousand more. And all along I believed I would find you. Time has brought your heart to me, I have loved you for a thousand years. I'll love you for a thousand more." _As the song finishes and the crowd cheers I stare at Spencer, telling her with my eyes just how much I love her. The soft smile on her lips tells me she understands.

"Let's give it up for the bride and groom ladies and gentleman." Mikey shouts to the crowd and everyone cheers.

"This next song is to help everyone get up and dance. This one's for you Mrs. Radin." I point to her as the rest of the wedding patrons get up on the dance floor. As Andrew starts on the on the guitar, I can't help but smile when I see Lexy pull Spencer on the dance floor. Mikey starts the beat on the drums.

"_Right, right, turn off the lights. We're gonna lose our minds tonight. What's the deal, yo? I love when it's all too much. 5 a.m. turn the radio up. Where's the rock 'n roll? Party crasher, penny snatcher. Call me up if you're a gangsta. Don't be fancy, just get dancy. Why so serious?" _The band pauses the beat and the crowd freezes. Mikey brings the drums back in and the crowd starts up again. I love performing live and the crowd gets into it.

"_So raise your glass if you are wrong. In all the right ways, all my underdogs. We will never be, never be anything but loud. And nitty, gritty, dirty, little freaks. Won't you come on and come on and Raise your glass! Just come on and come on and Raise your glass!" _The entire band sings with me.

I pick up the next verse. _"Slam, slam, oh hot damn. What part of a party don't you understand? Wish you'd just freak out (Freak out already) Can't stop, coming in hot. I should be locked up right on the spot. It's so on right now (It's so freaking on right now). Party crasher, penny snatcher. Call me up if you're a gangsta. Don't be fancy, just get dancy. Why so serious?" _We all stop playing our instruments and like before the crowd pauses with us once again and starts up with us again. _  
_We all join in to sing the chorus one last time. _"So raise your glass if you are wrong. In all the right ways, all my underdogs. We will never be, never be anything but loud. And nitty, gritty, dirty, little freaks. Won't you come on and come on and. Raise your glass! Just come on and come on and Raise your glass! Won't you come on and come on and Raise your glass! Just come on and come on and Raise your glass!" _

"Woooooo, yeah!" The crowd cheers as we finish. Stacy tells them we'll be taking a short break as the DJ comes back up on stage and plays the cupid shuffle.

I guess no matter what this song always has to be played at a wedding reception. I spend a few moments refueling as I watch my friends and my girlfriend dance on to the music. A smile appears at my lips. I'm suddenly nervous of what I know is coming next.

"Ash you ready?" Stacy asks, placing a hand on my shoulder, practically sharing the life out of me.

I catch my breath and chuckle a bit before nodding. "Yeah, I am." She gives me a bright smile before we head back on stage.

" Okay guys um, we're gonna slow it down just a bit for this next song, we hope you don't mind."

"Not at all!" Everyone in the crowd shouts, causing the band to smile.

"I wanna dedicate this song to the bride and groom, Mr. and Mrs. Radin." I wave a hand out to them, causing the crowd to cheer. "And also to my amazing girlfriend Spencer. I love you." She smiles and I can see from all the way over here that she's blushing.

"_This is my love song to you, let every woman know I'm yours. So you can fall asleep each night babe, and know I'm dreaming of you more. You're always hoping that we make it, you always wanna keep my gaze. But you're the only one I see love, and that's the one thing that won't change." _

I take the mic off the stand moving closer to the front of the stage as Spencer walks closer to me.

"_I'll never stop trying, I will never stop watching as you leave. I'll never stop losing my breath every time I see you looking back at me. And I will never stop holding your hand. I will never stop opening your door. I'll never stop choosing you babe. I'll never get used to you."_

She reaches her hand out for me and I grab hers, hopping off stage. So glad I changed out of my dress and heels.

"_And with this love song to you, it's not a momentary faze. You are my life I don't deserve you, but you love with just the same. And as a mirror says we're older, I will not look the other way. You are my life, my love, my only. And that's the one thing that won't never change. _

I can't help but pull her into me as I continue to sing. Out the corner of my eyes I can see that most of the people who were on the dance floor are now standing off to the side as Spencer and I sway to the beat and my words.

"_I will never stop trying, I will never stop watching as you leave. I'll never stop losing my breath every time I see you looking back at me. And I will never stop holding your hand. I will never stop opening your door. I'll never stop choosing you babe. I'll never get used to you." _

I can't take my eyes off of her. She's so amazingly beautiful. Every lyric that leaves my lips tells her just how much she means to me.

"_You still get my heart racing, you still get my heart racing for you. You still get my heart racing, you still get my heart racing for you."_

As a single tear falls, I reach up and wipe it from her eye. She mouths that she loves me and my heart swells. I lift her hand and kiss it before turning and walking back on stage to finish the song.

"_I will never stop trying, I will never stop watching as you leave. I'll never stop losing my breath every time I see you looking back at me. And I will never stop holding your hand. I will never stop opening your door. I'll never stop choosing you babe. I'll never get used to you."_

When we're done the crowd cheers and I drop my head and smile. The things that Spencer Carlin does to me.

"That's our set everyone, we hope you enjoyed it and that you continue to enjoy this beautiful gathering for Mr. and Mrs. Radin." Joey tells everyone as the DJ comes back up on stage this time opting to play the electric slide. I sigh and shake my head. I guess some things never die out huh.

"That was amazing." Spencer tells me as I walk up to her.

"It's just how I feel for you." I shrug it off and smile. If only I could show Spencer just how much of an inspiration she is to me. That none of this; the record deal, the songs, this feeling that I'm feeling, none of it would be possible if she hadn't come into my life.

"You're still amazing." She pulls me into a hug and kisses me, taking my breath away like she does every time she kisses me.

"You know that nothing in my life to this point would be as amazing as it is had you not come into it." I tell her truthfully, putting my hand around her waist as the DJ says he's going to slow it down with a special request. I smile and Spencer bury her head in my shoulder. "Honestly Spencer, you're more than just my muse. You're everything."

"_You're my unfathomable, precious, unimaginable joy, And you're exceedingly excited and abundantly more than I could ask for, yeah. With your hand in mine we will pass through time and space. Yeah, yeah. And every second, every minute, every hour of every day I'll say."_

"You're just saying that Ash." She counters. I shake my head quickly.

"No. I honestly mean every word of it. I owe my life to you, but more than that, I want to give it to you." She narrows her eyes at me, clearly confused.

"_My unfailing love for you will not be moved. For you will not be moved. My unfailing love for you And though the mountains be shaken And the hills be removed. Yet my unfailing love for you."_

"You can't imagine what you mean to me, Ash."

"_He tells a story of a King coming in glory and He is And that same Man who devised that plan united ours with His And so hand in hand we will walk with Him as our two become as one And all the promises He promises to us He promises will never be undone." _

She stops swaying with me, stopping to really listen to the song. "Wait Ash, is this you?" She asks with smile. I nod and her eyes go wide. "Is this new?" She questions, practically jumping up and down.

"Yes." I nod again.

"Oh my God, I love it!"

"It's gonna be the single for our mix tape." I tell her.

_"My unfailing love for you will not be moved. For you will not be moved. My unfailing love for you And though the mountains be shaken And the hills be removed. Yet my unfailing love for you."_

She turns around away from me and I take this as my opportunity.

"Well it's amaz..." Her sentence dies in her throat as the DJ lowers the music a bit and the entire crowd turns to face us. "Ashley what are you doing?" She asks with wide eyes as she stares down at me on one knee.

_"Be my wife."_

I watch as Andrew walks over to us, handing me the small box.

"Something I've wanted to do since the moment I met you."

"_Be my wife."_

She gasps and clamps a hand over her mouth. I hold in a laugh.

"_Be my wife"_

I smile at her cuteness.

"_My unfailing love for you will not be moved. For you will not be moved. My unfailing love for you And though the mountains be shaken And the hills be removed. Yet my unfailing love for you."_

"When I was eleven I told my dad about a girl that I'd thought I loved. I was young and naïve, not really knowing what love was then. But Spencer Carlin, I've loved you from the moment I laid eyes on you. Although I didn't know it then, I knew something was happening. Something that was out of our control. And as much as we tried to deny it, to run away and hide from it. Fate or destiny wouldn't let us. We were meant to be together. I know that with every fiber of my being. I know it's only been a year but it's been the absolute best year of my life." I open the box and she gasps again. Yeah, I spent my entire signing bonus on this ring. "I know that we're young and people probably think that we don't or won't know what we truly want until we get older but they're wrong. I know what I want. I have never be so sure of anything in my entire life. I want you. I want to spend the rest of my life making you happy. For better or for worse. Although I'm pretty sure those these months we spent apart when you weren't talking to me were the worse, so I guess all we have to look forward to is the better." I say causing the crowd to chuckle. "Please tell me that you'll make me the happiest person on the planet and marry me?" I ask and I don't have to wait long for my answer.

"Yes!" She shouts, taking the hand from over her mouth. "Oh my God, yes!" I slip the ring on her finger and stand. She leaps into my arms and kisses me as the crowd erupts into cheers.

"I love you." I say into her lips.

"God do I love you." She squeezes me tighter.

"I have another surprise." I tell her with an even brighter smile, pulling out a piece of paper from my pocket.

"What's this?" She asks as I hand her the paper.

"It's ours." I answer with a grin. When she opens the paper and sees the house her eyes shoot back up to mine.

"Really?" Se questions, voice full of excitement.

"Yes." I nod. "I want to start a life with you Spence." I smile as she leans forward and kisses me.

"I love you, Ash." She wraps her arms around my neck. All I can do is smile as I hug the love of my life. The girl I'm going to spend the rest of my days with. There no ending happier than that...

–

Songs Used:

Ed Sheeran- Kiss Me

Hunter Hayes- Wanted

Eric Benet ft Tamia- Spend My Life With You

Christina Perri- A Thousand Years

Pink- Raise Your Glass

Safetysuit- Never Stop (Wedding Version)

Jimmy Needham- Unfailing Love


End file.
